And this is why I am the worst writer on Fimfiction · 8:12pm Feb 8th, 2017
The dining room in the hotel wasn’t nearly as crowded and it had a pleasant coolness. Twilight shivered as she passed through the doorway, the evapourating sweat from her body causing her to feel cold and clammy. She knew from experience that the feeling would pass, but extreme temperature transitions had always made her uncomfortable.
Quite a spread was laid out on the table, a light meal, lots of fruit and greenery. Twilight’s eyes lingered on the green, orange, and pink bits of melon as she approached, and she licked her lips without realising it. Inviting moisture glistened in the harsh light of the bare electric bulbs hanging from the ceiling up above.
Rainbow Dash was leaning back against the wall behind her with a bottle of soda clutched in her fetlock. Beside her, Applejack was eating a green, leafy salad. Fluttershy had a tall glass of iced tea clutched between her front hooves, and her dainty lips were wrapped around her straw. Rarity, looking quite dirty, grimy, and sweaty, slouched in her seat while chewing on ice cubes that she fished out of her glass of iced tea. Pinkie Pie was chowing down on some kind of fruit ambrosia salad, with Pebble and Sumac sitting on either side of her.
Spike was being pestered by Boomer and all was right in Twilight’s world.
Twilight sat down with a fatigued huff and rested her forelegs on the edge of the table in a very unprincesslike manner. Rarity poured a glass of iced tea, which Twilight accepted with a grunt of thanks. Twilight realised that she was sweaty, gritty, and matted with salt. She also had a strong suspicion that she was smelly, with funky wing pits that might knock a pegasus from an outhouse roof.
“Pebble made a pretty stool,” Fluttershy said to Twilight.
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Sumac, Pinkie Pie, Spike, and Boomer all started giggling and Twilight didn’t know what was so funny. Rarity rolled her eyes and her lip curled back in disgust. Taking a sip of her iced tea, Twilight shivered with relief and felt Fluttershy touch her foreleg.
“I had a good look at Pebble’s stool, it’s amazing.”
More sniggering. Twilight, feeling annoyed, didn’t get the joke.
“It was perfectly smooth, with no lumps,” Fluttershy continued.
Rainbow Dash shot soda out of her nose and then hissed in pain as Applejack clapped her on the back. Clutching her sides, Pinkie Pie fell out of her seat and crashed down onto the floor. Shaking her head, what little patience Rarity had departed for its own vacation, and the dirty white mare let out a groan of utter disgust. Spike and Boomer both were now clinging to each other with their eyes squeezed shut, laughing, their tails twitching.
“I’m rather proud of my stools,” Pebble deadpanned. As she spoke, one ear twitched. “Sumac watched me do it and I’m glad he was there to coach me along. You know you’re comfortable with your coltfriend when you can make a stool with him watching.”
Now it was Applejack that fell out of her chair and she pulled Rainbow Dash down with her. The two clutched at one another as several of the guests in the dining room watched. Twilight still didn’t know what was so funny, and was now annoyed because she didn’t get the joke. Pinkie Pie was now pounding the floor with her front hooves while she howled with laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Fluttershy asked, blinking in confusion.
To which Twilight replied, “I wish I knew…”
Ugh, how horrible.
Believe me you're not the worst writer on fimfiction, you're probably not even in the bottom 10.
Not the worst might be the most prolific at the moment though
Uncouth.
Kudzu you big goofball.
Pebble, you're adorable, never change.
But still, stool... stool...
I'll admit, I chuckled.
PFFFFT! Stay Classy Kudzu. Never change
At least she didn't ask Sumac to push in her stool.
I agree with the title, this is pretty shitty.
dude you have the most updates (i think) you have the longest story (at last check) and overall the best stats.
...
Im with Twi and Shy here.
I don't get it. It's still funny, but I honestly don't understand.
4414483
4414486 ... i forgot about that. I get it now...
Anyone notice Maud on the side looks like she enjoys making stool?
4414504
She just dropped a Cleveland Steamer on Tarnish I think.
Don't be ridiculous! I've seen plenty of writers on FimFiction who are worse at writing that you think you are.
4414513 yeah.. there have been a few I've wondered how the hell they managed to get past the mods. Mostly due to they native language wasn't English you could tell the writing and wording was a bit off.
4414504 Well it wouldn't be any different than him, having derpy enjoying long huge shits. xD lol
Or farting bubbles... hahahaha
Got to love Pebble pushing the joke further. There is no way she wasn't fully aware of the joke with the way she phrased everything.
An example of Pebble's work?
jammer5spolyrant.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/stool-sample.jpg
EDIT: Boulder beat me to it in the actual story comments. Bleh... that's what I get for driving all day....
4414770
FTFY
Ha, I wonder who will be the first one to sit in Pebble's stool
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