Review #38 - Mortality Report, Family, In Celestia We Trust All Others Pay Cash · 11:56pm Jan 11th, 2017
And another three stories for today:
Mortality Report by Bad Horse
Family by EchoWing
In Celestia We Trust, All Others Pay Cash by Georg
Mortality Report by Bad Horse
(Sad)
Princess Celestia writes a report to her teacher on what she has learned about mortality.
Review
Twilight is dying. Celestia sends a letter to her teacher, Queen Titania, about her understanding of mortality.
This has ok pacing, as it gets to feel rather long by the time you reach the end. It has very few errors within the text, though. And it seems very well planned out. Also, the tag fits nicely.
Score: 8/10 Recommendation: Intermediate.
Personal Thoughts: This is a great execution of the plot for a sad fic, but it has not the best pacing.
Family by EchoWing
(Alternate Universe, Drama, Slice of Life)
Pinkie Pie is close with her family, be it her immediate relatives or her honorary one. A not-too-recent visit from her immediate family, as well as her discovery of being related to Applejack, have given her even more reasons to be close, and to be joyful. But when she discovers the family record of her new friend Quiver Quill, she goes off to discover whether or not they have a relative in Ponyville in the hopes of sharing that joy with them. But she soon gets a reminder that there's more than one way to have a family.
Review
EXTREMELY CONDENSED VERSION: While Pinkie Pie is looking to see if anyone in Ponyville is related to Quiver Quill, her family comes looking for aid with their farm. Twilight gets Celestia to endorse their farm, though.
This one has very nice pacing, but it could definitely use a split somewhere to make two chapters instead of one. It has few errors within the text, which is nice. And it seems fairly planned out, though there is a lot of filler. The tags work out alright, too.
Score: 7.5/10 Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Personal Thoughts: Eh, this one just wasn't that good.
In Celestia We Trust, All others Pay Cash by Georg
(Slice of Life)
Princess Celestia goes out on a whim for an ice cream cone and discovers just how shaky her own personal finances are, leading to a fiscal catastrophe that could threaten the status of the entire nation.
Review
Celestia goes out to buy ice cream only to discover that she has no finances left. Because of this, everypony fears the worst and begins to sell their stocks. The princesses put an end to this, however.
This is great for pacing, and probably could not be much better. It has very few errors within it, which helps out. And it seems fairly planned out. The tag it has works well, but it should probably have a "Comedy" tag added to it, even though it is not comedic in the traditional sense.
Score: 8.5/10 Recommendation: Recommended.
Personal Thoughts: Actually, this is a pretty good story about finances. Oh, and Georg say that Bad Horse deserves credit for this on, as he edited it.
Bad Horse deserves a *lot* of the credit for In Celestia We Trust. He helped edit, gave considerable suggestions, and included it in his Sisters series that was published in Equestria Daily. It's the most popular of my stories for people to read, but it's hard to beat JoeHighlord's recording.
Eh. Can't please everyone.
I did consider splitting it into two chapters, though.
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Yeah, that is the sad truth of life. But take heart, I am certain there are some people in the world that enjoyed it.
4379655 Oh, I know that there are. As of right now, it's one of only three stories I have that doesn't have a downvote.
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.
Oddly, I feel like fixing that
But instead I gave it an upvote, as it needed to be an even number, and it is worth one.
4379681 Thank you. I imagine someone will downvote those stories eventually, but I hope that day is a long time in coming.