• Member Since 26th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen January 5th

kudzuhaiku


She's looking at you. Yes you. And she is judging you with her eyes. There is no escape.

More Blog Posts2119

  • 51 weeks
    It's late

    But my brain isn't quiet. I'm stoned out of my goddamn gourd. Don't worry, it is just my usual regimen of drugs. That's how I spent a lot of my time now. Wasted. Doesn't really help with the pain much, but makes it a bit more tolerable. All of my drugs cost over 5 grand a month. That's what it takes to keep me going. I'm in somewhat better shape because of all of it, and there's a few bright

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    10 comments · 1,251 views
  • 62 weeks
    Cyborgification is potentially a-go

    Finally found a doctor that didn't run screaming upon seeing my spine images and xrays. The team is coming together. Met with the neurosurgeon the other day, and he thinks I am an ideal candidate for augmentation. The transition is happening, I think. I still have to pass a psych evaluation and other steps, but I am closer now than ever. First I'll have the trial run; they'll sink electrodes into

    Read More

    33 comments · 940 views
  • 91 weeks
    Today, life changes forever.


    It's been a long, long road to get to this point. A big thank you to everyone who has been with me during this journey.

    25 comments · 1,000 views
  • 91 weeks
    Big changes are happening


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    35 comments · 1,237 views
  • 115 weeks
    I suppose it is time for an update

    Been meaning to this, and I've become the King of Pro-Crasty Nation. I kept wanting to report, but there was nothing to report, no good news at all, so I just... didn't. Sorry. Went a bit silent on my end. It just sorta happened.

    I finally got a lawyer willing to take up my case. After that, things started happening.

    Read More

    17 comments · 2,027 views
Nov
4th
2016

Woke up, saw this · 2:59pm Nov 4th, 2016

Which seems to come from Boulder.

For context, it comes from this:

Hey, go and pick out a stuffy to help you sleep better. Vinyl’s slate appeared right in front of his face and Sumac blinked several times while he stared at it, reading the words that had been written upon it. He didn’t know how to respond to this either. He didn’t need a stuffy. Colts didn’t play with dolls. Brows furrowing, Sumac took a step back from the slate.


“No, I don’t think I need one. I’m not some baby foal. I’m not a scaredy cat.”


The words on Vinyl’s slate were wiped away and replaced with the following. Do I need to knock the stupid out of you?


Shocked, Sumac looked up from the words and peered at Vinyl’s face. He was unable to see through her dark glasses and he had trouble telling if she was joking or serious. “What?”


More words were scribbled in a hurry. I mean it, I will get you when you least expect it. A big pillow right to the kisser should knock some of the stupid right out of you. Don’t know what to do about the rest of it though.


Wide eyes narrowing, Sumac stared at the small fine print all crammed onto the small slate. Something told him that this was no idle threat, that Vinyl would wait until his guard was down and then she would lay waste to him. She was sneaky, he had seen far too much evidence of that. Now looking up again, he considered his position and thought about the fact that he might need to humour her to get out of this. But… he wasn’t some baby foal and he didn’t need a stuffy.


“She’ll do it, Sumac. She’ll knock the stupid right out of you. She did it to me once. I haven’t been stupid since.” Pebble’s expression was unreadable and her blank stare was piercing. “She got Daddy once too. She made a pillow tornado indoors and he couldn’t run away from it. She got him. Daddy didn’t get the message though, and he continues to be stupid now and again.”


Octavia was sniggering and Sumac stood there, silent, not knowing what to say.


Pick out a stuffy, my apprentice, or face my wrath. Holding up her slate, Vinyl’s mouth was a thin, tight pressed line. The albino unicorn loomed over Sumac, menacing him, and waited for him to comply with her instructions. To get him moving, she wiped away the words on her slate and then drew a pillow slamming into a unicorn stick pony. A large jagged edged chunk labeled ‘stupid’ flew out of the stick unicorn’s head and then Vinyl drew a storm cloud with lightning bolts that was raining pillows.


“I need to find a filly’s room!” Lemon Hearts, laughing like a loon, took off through the toy store, scattering other ponies before her as she headed towards the back.


“Fine, I’ll do it,” Sumac said as he worried about his brain becoming dislodged and shooting out of his ear. He glanced around and spotted a display of princess plushies. There were also bears, bunnies, stuffed farm animals, and even stuffed monsters. But the princess plushies caught his attention.

This might be one of the most situationally perfect bits of fanart ever... oh, Goddess, I am dying over here. I almost choked on my Mtn Dew.

Comments ( 16 )

I'm dyingggggggg.
Best way to go.
Death by pillows.

Nonsense. Everyone needs their stupid, it's part of a healthy diet.

Sorry folks, I couldn't help myself.:pinkiesad2:
Yes sadly I posted that on my DA page and I did draw that...with my eyes closed...for authenticity.:facehoof:

Hehe, awesome. :rainbowdetermined2:

Perfect.

Ha! That's great!

Also, mountain dew? Really Kudz?

4284939

The name was officially changed to MTN Dew because their target audience could not spell mountain. FOR REALSIES.

4284942 huh... The more you know!
And for some reason i read monster...
And Sprite is better than Mtn Dew anyhow.

4284939 I saw this in the story, thought this needs a picture, yeah it's about my level of artwork, rough chalk stick figures on a handheld slate. So Eh, why not.:twilightsmile:

If it was truly possible to beat the stupid out of people--imagine what our schools would be like?

4285318 An endless parade of blunt objects.

5092932
Reposted all my old pics on DA for Kudzu's stories.

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