Jul
27th
2016
I Need Inspiration And Or Thoughts! · 7:28am Jul 27th, 2016
So I'm working on the next Last of My Kind chapter (and Lazarus for those wondering) and I'm curious as to where you guys may want me to go and or have Chloe do. I just need some interesting ideas to get my rusty gears turning again, also it'll cue me in as to what you guys are thinking.
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Immortan Joe · 470 views
· Story: The Last of My Kind
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#The Last of My Kind
#Last of My Kind
#Human
#Last
#HiE
#Female
#Romance
military training.
4115630 I have no idea how I would implement that into the story, but okay.
4115643 Actually a big breaking point in the story would be deciding whether or not Equestria should have Human technology.
Well, I've had a feeling since it showed up that the 'evil Chloe' voice in her head was perhaps a manifestation of the Nightmare. Perhaps we can get more light shed on her? Maybe someone else begins picking up on her talking to herself?
Well... It depends on what you want this story to be...
I can give you some ideas, but they are slice of life-ish....
I also think Dark Chloe needs to addressed. She obviously had issues before going in and now they need to be addressed before she hurts someone or somepony. She is a mama now and her daughter needs to have her saneish.
Maybe have Quartz invite Chloe to one of her and Crystal's treasure hunts. Perhaps even stumble across more ancient human artifacts or the underground ruins of a deserted human city?
4115706
4115785
Agreed
Maybe have Reynolds or Twilight hear Chloe talking to nightmare Chloe and confront her. Leaving mute towards Reynolds he could pull up some video of it happening when Chloe denies it. Twilight does some magic scans and something something dark magic build up.
Or possibly better Luna dream walks into Chloe having a nightmare with evil Chloe taking over. Luna banishes the nightmare and urges Chloe to seek help before the nightmare consumes her.
And you know of there was a side story clop chapter(s) that would not be unappreciated
4115734 Slice of Life is fine, this story is a blend of adventure and SoL.
4116009 finding more vaults? the alien overlords are attacking? chlo gets powers? chlo is a futa XD talking about the aliens
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4115798
Actually I really like both of your ideas about finding something. I'm surprised I never thought of something like that.
Thanks! You two were very helpful!
starts writing futa idea down
4116009
Stupid tablet. It didn't send mine message >.>
So there are mine few ideas.
- It has romance tag so do romance stuff! The drama! The joy! The naughty stuff!
- Chlo getting used to the new life. Getting a job, finding more friends, taking care of Little Chloe.
- Meeting Discord
- Chloe traveling across the Equesteia. (I have read some HiEs but in not a single one the human was anywhere else than the place where he appeared.)
- Chloe and few ponies on a journey discovering / recovering what have been left from humans. (This one reeeealy could be benefical for Sad and Mystery tags. When the group discovers more and more new things, Chloe could have more flashbacks about what happened.)
- Chloe and maybe the past about humans going public. And vault beeing tourist attraction. (Can you imagine this one? :D )
- More informations about technic and magicky stuff. And maybe confrontation between those two. - Also it's more advanced technolody from long forgotten civilization. Who wouldn't want it? *wink* *wink*
Less stuttering, for one. You use that too much.
Chloe getting some development. She's still stuck in her "sorry for herself" mentality. And some explanation for that "Other Chloe". It honestly doesn't make any sense.
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Actually other Chloe does make sense, it all boils down to schizophrenia. Which is a mental disorder that you can either be born with, or get after experiencing a traumatizing event. Such as literally experiencing the apocalypse and your lover and friends dying. The stuttering goes along with Chloe's character due to her being an emotional wreck and or paranoid, which also falls under her being a schizophrenic. It's just all in her character.
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I'm talking other characters as well. You're seriously overusing the stuttering.
As for Schizophrenia. It's a matter of hearing voices(auditorial hallucinations), and failure to understand what is real and what is not (among other things). Seeing apparitions of herself walking, in different clothes, actively speaking to her, etc. is not. Visual hallucinations among schizophrenics are images, blurred or clear. Not moving copies of themselves. If you want her to be mentally ill, then make sure that you understand it; its causes, its treatments, and how it actually works.
Stuttering is also not a symptom of schizophrenia either, and while it can appear due to a traumatic event, I see no reason why she has it. Personally, I feel that the stuttering comes at the cost of the reader's enjoyment. It break's the flow, interrupts the reading process, and thus breaks immersion. There is a psychological explanation for why she might stutter, but do you have a narrative reason? Does it add to the story, or the narrative, in any way?
4117123
Nah, there are different versions of schizophrenia. My grandmother before she past away would see hallucinations or others that she would have conversations with of people who aren't really there. It was almost as if she had developed an imaginary friend during her final months. Whereas Chloe had probably developed a similar thing due to her mass amount of trauma, as for stuttering, like you said it's a character thing. And perhaps I may use it too much but as of now you are the only person who has came to me with a complaint, and knowing myself when I do become paranoid I myself do also stutter a lot. Which in these cases I'll admit that I do project a bit of myself into the characters I write, matter of fact, I bet a lot of people do.
But for your sake, I guess I'll try and lighten up a tad.
Well as stated before she has literally gone through the apocalypse. She was the only known person to be known to be immune and because of that she has watched everyone around her die including family, her lover, and friends despite not being able to do anything to stop that. Therefore she is suffering from massive amounts of mental stress and regret, she also feels that everyone else would blame her for humanities extinction.
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I strongly doubt that. If anyone is to blame, it's the doctors who had the cure but didn't use it.
The whole thing makes it look like she doomed humanity because she was afraid of needles.
If there's any regret she should have, it's being the last survivor.
4117863 if you recall there was no cure. There was never time to fully make a working one. Chole knew she was immune and volunteered for experimentation, but even then it didn't work.
4118085 Granted, but I still think her major regret would be that only she survived. She didn't fail humanity and nor did she doom it.
4118114 Oh no, she's regretting that she survived. Don't you recall the first couple chapters and her nightmares? She's feeling guilty for practically everything.
4119613 I just think that should've been her only regret. Having her go around and feel responsible for everything else is just too much.
And I REALLY think she needs to talk about this at some point.
4119734 Well from previous chapters, she has sorta talked about it, but it was more like beating around the bush. But yeah, she should talk about it with someone. Seeing her and Quartz's relationship grow as it has been these past few chapters, it's possible she could probably start coming out of her shell. But knowing her mental state as it is it's also possible she will guilt herself into not talking at all.
Tis the life of a depressed teenage girl.
I know she's 26, actually 27 I think, I need to check Chloe's birthday again. Anyhow, that's the joke.