I'm sorry... · 5:35pm Jul 9th, 2016
I'm so sorry... 
My last blog post was a bit... intense. I'm sorry. I'm having an absolute nightmare of a week. I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm depressed, and I'm honestly a little sick. My mind right now is a jumbled mess of emotions, and it resulted in that post last night.
It's just something I'm insecure about. Do my friends really care about me? Do they think I'm putting in any effort to our friendship? Are they just humoring me? 
My senior year of high school was the year I made true friends in school for the first time. Then I went off to college, and I was separated from them. I was back at square one. It was hard, and it is hard. And I'm talking about friends in real life. In the flesh. Not on here. I'm not saying you guys don't matter, because you absolutely do, but on here there's an apparent level of anonymity on here that doesn't exist in the real world. I'm sure your view on me would be much different if you knew me in real life. I'm much more boring in real life than I am on here.
This is the kind of thing I get insecure about, and the stuff I cry myself to sleep about. Do I really have friends? Will I be alone for the rest of my life? I know I have to go out there and do something myself if I want friends... but I'm scared. I'm scared of embarrassing myself. I'm scared of being judged. 
And I'm so pathetic, I've fallen in love with a fictional character. Fluttershy. It's pathetic because I know she'll never be mine. She's not tangible. She doesn't exist. But I can't help it. She represents everything I want in a companion. That's why the EG4 information hit me so hard because Fluttershy might fall for someone else. I know I can't make her mine, but I can't stop her if Hasbro makes her fall for someone else. And it'll be canon. I used to wonder why Twilight waifu people hated Flash Sentry so much. I used to wonder what the big deal behind the hate was. Why do you care about a waifu-stealer? Now I understand. It's like seeing your crush fall for someone else, and not even have the faintest idea that you exist. It's heartbreaking. I get it now. 
I was wanting to submit my OC to Hasbro to ensure that wouldn't happen, but that would be selfish, and I don't think it's possible to submit OC's. But it would just make me feel better, unless people agree that my OC should be with Fluttershy more than anyone else, which I don't think will be the case. It'll be extremely selfish even if by some miracle it did happen. It would only make me feel better, and still anger the other Fluttershy waifu people.
I'm sorry for all the crying, but I'm just in a really dark place right now. I'm having a horrible week, and I've still got four more weeks of hell to endure. I'm struggling to stay awake as I type this, drinking coffee to give me a jolt, but it's not working. And I've still got a 4-10 shift at work today. And I have the day shift tomorrow. 
I seriously want to punch something because of how stressed I am. I feel honestly a little sick. 
I'm really stressed, and very depressed. Two emotional spells at once results in stupid venting posts like this.
I'm in a dark place. I have a headache from all the emotions I'm feeling, and I have so much to do, I barely have time for anything else.
I'm sorry for the post last night. I'm so, so sorry.
You don't need to be sorry for anything. Its perfectly okay. Just know we're all here for you if you ever want to talk.
And in all honesty, I don't think your waifu's gonna be stolen by anyone in the film. I honestly believe the boy might be going after Twilight or Sunset.
And no one... no one... no one goes after Sunset!
Sunset is my waifu. My waifu!!!!!
You don't need to be sorry for anything man, we understand and want to see you happy. And to be honest, there is a possibility your waifu might not be stolen, personally I'm betting Timber or whatever his name is (I've forgotten already) might like Applejack, considering he probably shares her down to earth personality.
I'm not that good at inspiring people, but here are some quotes from some heroes to make you feel better!!!!
"Instead of living in the darkness try living in the light. If the world rejects you then overcome it, if there's no light then become the flash of lightning that illuminates the darkness."
"Don't stand in place, continue moving forward and live your life walking on the path you feel is right."
"A man's pride stands in the outfit and image he conveys! To take off the clothing I chose, is to betray my very nature as a youth! I can no more remove my clothing than remove my very pride as a man!"
"Never let your heart waver, no matter what the situation. Bear through it alone. That is what being hard-boiled means."
"Fear is within us, in small or large quantities. It's a rule of life in all living things. from humans to animals... even insects. To be afraid means you aren't weak... it only means you have room to grow. To hide your fear means you are ignorant or just not ready. To give up from your fear, means your a coward. Being fearless doesn't determine strength, its carrying your fear with you... that makes you strong."
You seem a little better than you were last night.
Don't worry about feeling like your more boring in real life, to be honest I'm willing to bet that most people are the same and/or feel the same. But that doesn't make you less of a person.
Don't strain yourself too much about how you feel about Fluttershy, we all get passionate about characters we enjoy. However if you really start to think that you might have a problem maybe you should seek therapy to help. At least if you really think it's that big of a problem.
I'm sure that the situation may not be as bad as you fear, and even if it is you'll find a way to cope. We're here for you.
It's okay. Everyone has days like this.
As for your problem with Fluttershy, I don't exactly know what to say. The reality is that she's fictional (and I cannot approve of humanxpony romances, because of what that inevitably leads to; try not to think about that too much). The only thing I can think of is to accept, however hard it is, the fact that she's not real. If you're feeling a lack of love from the other gender, well, now is as good a time as any to try looking for an eternal companion.
^ I used to feel this way, or something like it. A few years ago, I thought - or perhaps hoped - that animals, in particular equines, could speak and reason (and were hiding it), and I desperately wanted to befriend one.
I'm sorry you're going through such hardship. We're all here for you though. I can imagine it's really hard right now, but you'll have a break when this semester is over, and university will be over one day too. Also you could try just being open with your friends about how you feel; just tell them you're worried you might be drifting apart. You can talk to me about it if you want.
Wow, I'm sorry to hear what you have been going through. I truly hope you get better. And in regards to your Fluttershy issue, I would suggest perhaps maybe look into something called Lucid Dreaming. I've heard it feels quite lifelike.
Hey, man, there is no way that you're boring in real life. And again, if your friends are faking their friendship with you, then they aren't friends.
Oh, and don't worry about EGQ4's timber guy. He'll probably be paired with another character, or end up being some kind of evil guy... or a fucking nazi.
do you have any music that helps you relax and calm? could help to listen to it once or twice a day
When I started attending college, I had to make new friends once again. And the internet was just getting started. Just remember that there will be reunions later on.
And my first MLP waifu was none other than Applejack
4080905 I did suggest him a few!
4081635 nice. i always listen to something myself, but you never know.