Beware of Falling Rocks · 6:48pm Dec 18th, 2015
The Equestrian military instructor stared at the class in front of him. Each pony completely focussed on his instruction. These were no young cadets, but soldiers with experience enough to know that missing a single detail could cost them their life. They had served on the Northern Front when Sombra had attacked the pass. Unable to withstand the onslaught they had been forced to retreat as the Crystal Army had swept into Equestria. Sombra’s army had control over half the country and the Royal Guard had struggled to defend the key cities. But they had learnt a lot and next time they would be prepared. Sombra had powerful dark magic and commanded a legion of crystal ponies able to push huge rocks as easily as hay carts. But he also had weaknesses. He had minimal air power. Celestia’s forces still controlled the clouds, and it was to the skies that ponies looked for salvation. Although in the end, the battle must be won on the ground. But Equestrian strength came from the alliance of pegasi, unicorns and earth ponies. On the battlefield, a combined air, land and magic attack gave them a critical advantage. Together they would win the war. But for it to work they had to work together with perfect coordination. To be sure they could do that, they had to train together.
Question time.
“You are at the base of a thirty metre cliff and look up to see a huge boulder falling towards you,” shouted the instructor. “What action do you take?”
A row of hooves shot up in the air. The instructor pointed at a pegasus mare with a prosthetic wing and piece of her left ear missing.
“Private Rainbow Dash.”
“You fly out of the way,” said Rainbow. “Fast.”
“No!” shouted the instructor. “Remember your basic physics. Any falling rock will accelerate down at nine point eight metres per second squared. After falling half the height of the cliff it will be moving at over seventeen metres per second, and will hit the ground point seven seconds later. You would be flattened before you could spread your wings.”
Private Dash looked inclined to challenge this, but held her tongue.
“The way to deal with falling rocks,” continued the instructor. “Is to jump up to meet it and chisel it to gravel with your hooves.”
This was too much for Rainbow.
“According to basic physics,” she said. “By the time a ten-tonne falling rock was three metres above my head, it would have a kinetic energy of over two point six megajoules. To counter its momentum I would have to be flying at seven times the speed of sound. Pony hooves have a hardness of two point five on the Mohs scale and would have no impact at all on granite. And if it did, by some miracle, cleave into pieces, then conservation of momentum would ensure they would hit the ground with the same destructive power. The only realistic option is to get out of the way.”
She exchanged a long stare with the instructor. Neither pony was willing to back down. Rainbow felt a battle-hardened hoof touch her back. She turned to face the stoic faces of Privates Pinkamena and Maud Pie.
“Stay cool Dashie,” said Pinkamena.
“We’ll look out for you,” said Maud.
Screw physics, they're pies!
Thanks for the vignette.
Private Dash, according to nonmagical physics, you shouldn't be able to get off the ground. Now stop sassing your superior officer, pull the stupid out of your ears, and listen carefully, or this time next week, you're either going to be dead or wearing a mind control helmet.
What was a real pity in that clip with the rock coming down, is that Maud didnt do what I did once when someone started dropping rocks on me. I returned a half brick in a high arc balistic trajectory.
And weve seen what happens to those on the recieving end of a rock that Maud Throws.
For hooves being soft, well they would be if they were fingernails, and not magic energy wallshield backed gemstone fibre reaction sheet. Or something far more annoying to people who want tissue paper dollies instead of warpfield driven cybernetic quantum optical hyperAI like what some people think we should be looking at by now. I mean, come on, its tech based on stuff at least 50 years old.
For those of you who like Star Wars, consider that Count Dooku was played by Chrstoper Lee, who in WW2 was Special Operative. On set, he demonstrated how to properly hold weapons, because he was Very experienced in it.
I wonder if he wouldve said something about using your massive accelerating leg muscles to get you moving, followed by tuck and roll to turn into a rapidly cross transitioning target.
"Hold on," Moondancer said, muzzle scrunching up. "Both of your arguments are logically sound. But if they were both true, that would imply that Sombra is already in possession of a superweapon capable of annihilating our ground forces, and it would be highly irrational of him not to have already used it to wipe us out. So we have empirical evidence that there's a flaw in one of those premises."
"We could test them," Snails said. "By dropping big rocks on ourselves."
There was a moment of silence, punctuated by the thud of half a dozen facehoofs.
"It occurs to The Great and Powerful Trixie," said TGaPT, "that perhaps we ought not be making tactical decisions based on ill-understood equations from an ancient artifact whose sole redeeming factor seems to be that its creators had hands."
Lyra leapt to her hooves. "You take that back!"
Rarity held up one hoof and stared at Trixie. "We use those equations, darling, because they have predictive power. Applying them, for example, has taken all of the guesswork out of our partillery fire, increasing their accuracy immeasurably."
"But they don't work here," Moondancer said, "or they would be equally exploitable."
"Um, maybe they're in conflict with another, more fundamental, principle?" Fluttershy mumbled.
"Ya mean like how ponies whose name we don't know can't ever get a word in edgewise when our friends are talking?" Applejack said, pointing at the military instructor, whose muzzle was turning an ever-deeper shade of purple as his class' discussion slipped out of his grasp. "Ya know, the Law of Narratives an' all."
Moondancer frowned. "But even though it was the instructor who pointed it out, the disagreement here is fundamentally between Dash and Pinkie, so how can the Law of Narratives possibly apply?"
Dash rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. "Look, can we just, y'know, not spend my last few days in the service arguing about this? Just acknowledge I'm right so I can fight my final battle and get home to my husband and three foals."
The room went silent again.
Dash looked around. "... What? What'd I say?"
"Pinkie? Maud?" the obviously shaken instructor said faintly. "Stick to her like glue."