Sep
13th
2015
Should I get rid of "concubine"? · 1:39am Sep 13th, 2015
I've come to realize that I kinda hate the word 'concubine'. A bunch of little reasons, but they add up to me cringing whenever that word comes up, all 166 times in the story that I have written, including the unpublished parts. I'm thinking of doing a rather massive edit and changing it to consort. Senior Consort just rolls off the tongue better.
Thoughts? I'd like your opinions on if I should make the change.
Do it I hate the word concubine
3388782 On whether or not I should get rid of it.
With the direction the story is going consort would be more "official". In fact it would be Royal Consort. This is reserved for those fully intending and approved to marry into a royal family. Everyone else would be a concubine.
For Thomas I could see using Consort, but for me that wouldn't fit the rest of them. Talon isn't a consort she's based on how you portray her a fuck buddy, so concubine works more for the job they perform then consort does. Shining armor is a consort, Thomas very well could be one but at the moment he isn't till Luna changes things between them. It's your story and I'll read it regardless of what you decide but this is my opinion on it.
3388804 That is a fair counter argument, not to mention relevant terminology for stuff later in the story.
3388807 And this is why I ask. These are good arguments.
Change it plzzz
3388835 Thus far, one for change, two against.
I think its a weird choice of word
I love this story though.
Being I had the time, I decided to do some research on the term "concubine". In this research, I have found that there is another term that "could" be used in place of the word. That term being "Courtesan". Now, the problem with using courtesan lies within the historical usage of said term. Throughout history, women have been the only ones that have been been handed the title "Courtesan" or "Royal Courtesan". I have found no evidence to suggest that men have been given the title.
Courtesan, though, still has the said meaning and job description as a concubine. Although, courtesan sounds more "tame" than concubine does. As for using Consort or Royal Consort, I agree with Sensei Wu Wei and chaoticevl. Consort and Royal Consort should only be used to indicate someone who is "courting" a Royal or someone of Noble birth/heritage.
Whether you use concubine or courtesan is, ultimately, up to you. I, quite honestly, have no qualms with seeing the word concubine as it has been used in many movies, novels and short stories over many, many years. I will say that, with the way you have the story setup and using the term "harem", is that you have already set it in place for using the term concubine. For example, you have setup that Celestia has a harem of many lovers while Luna only has Thomas as of right now. In light of this, if you so chose, you could set up Thomas as a Courtesan (not to be confused with Royal Consort) as Luna does not yet have a harem (a harem being that which is multiple lovers outside one's own relationship). Celestia, on the other hand, does indeed have a harem as she has multiple lovers that are there solely to please and be available for Celestia's needs.
So, TLDR; Thomas is a male form of a courtesan while all those in Celestia's harem are, and should, be considered concubines. Courtesan "not" to be confused with Consort or Royal Consort.
Hope this helps.
Personally, I think the word 'concubine' is the more appropriate one as it has a directly sexual connotation, whereas the word 'consort' does not. My suggestion is to leave your story as is; of course, it is your story so do with it as you will.
3388904 While I'm with you and I haven't ever seen courtesan used for men, I could see that be a decent replacement for concubine.
I say weave the change into the exposition.
3388807 I second this comment.
If you're going to change it from "Royal Concubine" to "Royal Consort", I feel it should be a major plot point. Heck, the fact that Thomas doesn't realize that one means "friend the royal is screwing" while the other means "friend the royal is dating" seems to be a major plot point in and of itself.
Might want to go with attendant and have his job be filed under concubine rather than in the normal beauricratic section. Perhaps he is on retainer instead?
In my opinion that I agree with Drakestar about the simple change keeping the same meaning and I agree with Starbuck that if you do change it then it should make sense plot wise as you already had Thomas bring up this point before. Just changing it would make you drop a points throughout the story. So making it an event story wise would one give you more interactions maybe between the sisters or this being one of those things Thomas brings to Celestia directly. Or this could be an outcome from Blueblood's actions. As it's been said. "the choices are yours and yours alone." I'm sure everyone who has been reading this will agree or at least understand your choice.
I'm agreeing with Starbuck et all... Do it, BUT Don't retcon the entire work. Make it a special event in the story, with the new prestige title for him becoming the word used from then on.
I'm simply with chaoticevl on this one. In german, the word Concubine (at least it's translation) is somewhat laden with a bit of negativity, but this shouldn't Keep you from making an awesome story
3388904 It does actually. I'll consider that.
3389110 Do you mean make the change later and then explain why?
3389203 Thomas is aware of the difference, which is why Luna agreed early on to call him her consort instead of concubine, at least while they're alone.
3389252 Fraid not. I've already written a clear distinction between attendant and concubine which will be relevant to the plot pretty soon.
3389258 Appreciated.
3389607 But his depression seems rooted (at least partially) in that he thinks that he is still just a servent to Luna. That everything they're doing is just an act so that Luna can just have the experience of having a boyfriend. At least that's the impression I'm getting.
3389675 I'm glad I posted this question. I'm getting a lot of really constructive feedback, even reminding me of my own themes.
"Concubine" is the perfect word for his position. He is not married to nor is he courting Princess Luna (yet?), which rules out the use of "consort."
Personally it's a descriptive and Thomas prefers the title to others save perhaps consort but as a rule of thumb in street logistics though fewer concubines means the the hoe population, and many individuals that match the descriptives Talon uses, would rise causing drop in class.
Well, the definition they are concubines