Bad news about Dark Horse #8

I've got the sad news that the initial editor feedback for #8 is highly mixed, and will need a massive re-write.

The good news is that there's a couple of scenes that's gotten quite a bit of praise, and I was given a couple of really good ideas on how to fix things, so I'm not restarting totally from scratch.

Just from 1/6 or so.

Still, its going to be a massive rewrite, so I'm sad to say that the next week ETA won't happen. Sorry gang, but its either that or a just barely OK chapter on time.

Comments

[wlam]

One of the downsides about having a massive amount of editors? Someone will always complain. Be sure to think hard about how much of that you really want to rewrite, because if you try to please everyone, you'll just end up pleasing no one.

[avidanApostle]

Dammit. We were so close. So close. And yet, at the same time, so far...

[Canary In The Coal Mine]

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Disclaimer: I'm one of the editors.

It was a decent chapter attempt I think, but it could be better. There were a lot of great scenes in it, but taken together it just goes the wrong path. I'm sure most of it could be reused down the road... just not in this next chapter.

[Bloody_Tofu]

Take your time. We love your work and i'd rather see something you can be proud of than something you spit out quickly that you regret publishing.

We'll wait, series is good enough for that.

[Adin]

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It was a decent chapter attempt I think, but it could be better. There were a lot of great scenes in it, but taken together it just goes the wrong path.

Agreed, I'm glad Lordy decided to go with the rewrite rather than a patch-job.

Without giving away any spoilers, this chapter has some great scenes, in fact it has what may be my favorite scene in the whole fic.

But those great moments were undercut by some major issues he is now aware of. The story just lost so much momentum that nearly all the impact of those great scenes was lost.

Still, with the issues corrected, the finished chapter will be incredible.

[R-A-B-G]

aww I was looking forward for that too

[wlam]

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I find it difficult to imagine that Dorklord really forgot how to write to the degree that this chapter is actually much worse than the previous ones, given that people have been complaining about the pacing and momentum and such in a variety of ways since the beginning, but I suppose if I wanted to have a say in this, I wouldn't have demurred on the whole editing thing myself.

I can really only take you by your word there, but I still wanted to point it out that I'm a bit sceptical and that everyone should be careful not to confirmation bias themselves there.

[Canary In The Coal Mine]

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Unfortunately I can't describe what the issue was without Lordy's permission, especially since, if he really does a major rewrite, it may be completely different anyway. It wasn't like it contained a series of bad decisions, almost everything in there was great and lead to great moments. But, well... how many chapters do you think they should remain in Carlos' home, dealing with Luna? It's been two so far that you've read. It was, without any input, shaping up to be four.

[wlam]

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I might be a bad person to ask that, because I thoroughly enjoyed both of them. Rainbow's breakdown is probably my favourite scene in the entire story so far. I'd really say it's heavily dependent on execution and how well-done they are, but fair enough, I suppose.

[Lord Of Dorkness]

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What Canary and Adin said mostly summed it up.

If I say irresistible force meets unmovable object, I think you can guess most of what happened. Quite a few scenes and snippets that worked quite well on their own, but it was just too much and too soon after an already dialogue and Luna Vs Harry chapter to work as a whole.

I aimed for a grueling endurance match of clashing personalities, both in their own way trying to do the right thing and refusing to bow, Slowly but surely tiring and wearing each other down until an understanding could be reached.

But it actually ended up as this... sissy slap fight with super powers. A boring slog to get through.

So yeah, think the central idea was still good, but a bad time and place for it.

[wlam]

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But it actually ended up as this... sissy slap fight with super powers.

Yeah, ok, that doesn't sound so great.

[Adin]

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But it actually ended up as this... sissy slap fight with super powers. A boring slog to get through.

I hate to say it but... yeah, that is a fairly apt two sentence summary. Still, good and great things did come out of the chapter, so it isn't like it was a waste.