I can only hope the story continues and is worth the wait I put you guys through.Advice needed from readers of But, She's a Pony (leave in comments, or message) · 5:35am Jul 28th, 2012
Alot of people have been commenting on the story But, She's a Pony, and questioning why it is second person. I could elaborate more, but instead I'll get straight to the point and ask if it should be switched to a third person story, which I think it could be managable.
I ask you because I am a newbie of a writer and have little confidence in what I write, so when so many people ask me why the story is in second person I start to get worried. Basically, what I'm asking is if it's too late for me to go back and change the story, while it wont have a big impact on the actual story, it might make the fiction more readable for people who have a problem with it. I appreciate any advice given. Obviously I'll have decided by the time I post the next chapter.
Gracias Senors (or Senoritas)
Uke-Joe
I'm personally fine with it as is, third person wouldn't hurt though. Curious why you feel the need to change, It seems an odd element to focus on.
It doesn't really matter whatever person you write the story in.
In my opinion, I think that you should keep it in second person.
But that's just in my opinion, because I really enjoy how you write in second person.
I hope others agree.
I said it in the comments for chapter 2, but I think swapping "you" for "I" would make it first person with very few other changes necessary, if you wanted to go that route. Changing it to third person would probably be slightly more work than changing it to first person, but still definitely doable.
The main reason(s) I followed the story in the first place was because (a) I think you're doing a good job with this fic, and (b) the structure of your prose doesn't feel like a second-person narrative to me (and I'm not generally a fan of second-person). It's your story, do what you like (and I'll probably keep reading, because it looks good so far). But I think it would work just fine if you switched perspectives.
254912 I hope others agree too, it's just that lots of people were wondering why exactly it was a second person story.
254908 this was just bothering me so I wanted to see what other peoples thoughts were about it. If most people think it needs change then of course I'd change it. I feel fairly comfortable about writing the story the way I am now, however.
The only place I've ever seen second person has been fan fiction.... I can't say if I just haven't somehow avoided the second person fiction, but... I dunno. Personally, I find it fairly easy to follow, but I also find that I'm jarred out of the narrative in places because of the dissonance between what I would think/do in that situation versus what I'm being told that I'm doing, plus the fact that it occasionally has to break out of second person anyway.
My two cents, I'll keep reading whichever way you decide to go.
254928 I actually drafted the story in first person before I posted it, because my editor at the time refused to read second person fictions, but I decided against posting that one.
254935 I love your Avatar. The only reason it took me 2 extra days to get around to posting chapter 2 was TF2. But anyways, I think that the whole (just going to put what you said in quotes, because I am lazy) " I'm jarred out of the narrative in places because of the dissonance between what I would think/dointhat situation versus what I'mbeingtold that I'm doing" issue is fairly common in second person stories, but I've been wrong before... Alot.
I would find it an inprovement to make it third person. I may have already stated somewhere in the comments that it doesnt make alot of sence to me to have a character who is completely established (has a name, personality, his own dialogue, previously dictated actions that the audience has no say in) but have the story state that this character is "you".
I can tell you this much my friend. I have personally written over a hundred fanfics in my lifetime and I'm not even 30 yet. I have several VERY long stories but my longest one is on this website. I have written in first second and third person views. I have switched back and forth within a single story to give an insight Into each character while n other stories I stay strictly in a single view. Writing is based on your preference and what you are comfortable with. Some authors choose one way and stay with it hole others experiment with different styles. If I were to choose for you I would say to do this. Start a seperate fanfic away from what you are currently writing. Choose a new storyline and write it strictly in one style. Read back over it then write the same story but in a different style. Second person will refer to a first person view but it will be from possibly multiple characters. It gets confusing at times but showing the characters perspective point of view will emerge the reader further into the story so that they can feel what that character is feeling at that moment. First person stays with one character and at times can become boring or very confusing. I know because I've written 20 plus fanfics of it. Personally if I were you. Attempt to switch out to third person and then back at times to show better emotions of the situations at hand
I think it would be confusing if you were to change it now (not that it bothered me to begin with), but you know do what you want bro
254976 That sounds great! Thanks for the advice oh great and experienced writer.
254993 not a problem my friend. I forgot to add this tidbit before. It would be best to have a target audience as well. Readers are sometimes fickle about switching perspectives like I mentioned It does get confusing in scenes with multiple characters but with two or three at most it is ok IMO. You can have more in the even but only pic those that you want to really stand out and have planned for use in later chapters. Finding more out about a character will give the reader a better perspective on what to expect later on. But don't leave hem out of the loop too long as the reader may forget and go back looking for that specific chapter. Also while writing you should do hat I do if you plan on making the story super long. After each chater make a new chapter with cliff notes in it about the chapter you just published including persons places and things that stood out in the chapter. As you write the names of the new chapters though put a number in front of them so that when someone makes a comment or question about said chapter it will be easier to locate if you have a lot of chapters. I failed to do that so my story s a pain at times when new readers ask a question A way that is all the knowledge. Can pass to you as I am falling asleep. If you need any further details please message me. I always return messages so feel free
It's perfect the way it is,
so don't worry.
If you like writing in the second person, then continue to do so! (Your story is awesome. Just keep doing what you are doing!)