Present Perfect vs. Fire & Rain · 10:33pm May 8th, 2015
(This review brought to you by ChAoTiCsEvEn.)
Ruirik’s Fire & Rain is a classic, a quintessential Spitdash romance from back in season 2, when Spitdash was still good. This is a story that really satisfied the shipper in me, while finding ways to make me confront just what it is I liked about this ship once upon a time and also irritate me. Click below the break for spoiler-heavy discussion and analysis!
First, let’s talk shipping. I realized the reason why Spitfire/Rainbow Dash always used to appeal to me while reading this story. In seasons 1 and 2, when she’d had a nameless appearance in Sonic Rainboom and a major side role in Best Night Ever and Hurricane Fluttershy, Spitfire came off as an older, wiser Rainbow Dash. It was easy to see her as having been Rainbow once upon a time: hot-headed (how else do you get a name like “Spitfire”?), idolizing the Wonderbolts, brash and cocksure. That all crumbled, to me at least, with Wonderbolts Academy, where she was shown to be a military pony through and through, by-the-book, no acknowledgement of ever having been like Rainbow once upon a time. I cannot see Rainbow Dash hooking up with a pony like that, outside of a damaging groupie fling.
But thankfully, this story was written during seasons 1 and 2, so we don’t have to deal with that. :V
So, where to begin? I guess the beginning is a good place. This starts off with Spitfire hurting herself during practice for the Wonderbolts’ season-ending show, in Manehattan. It just so happens that Rainbow Dash is also there, on some kind of cockamamie weather team manager-swap that is about as contrived as Spitfire’s reason to stay in Manehattan. Once you get over that initial contrivance, the story flows from there.
This is, at its heart, a lengthy slice of life. We follow Spitfire, Rainbow, and a few other characters through minute details of their daily lives, and the romance plot really benefits from it.
This is what shipping should be like. For a long while now, I’ve been decrying shipfic after shipfic for being shallow or asking for too much from the reader. It’s one thing to say, “Huh-huh, Imma ship these two because funny,” and quite another, “These two have been dating for two years, and it’s time to pop the question, so please believe that this is very important.” But this goes from mutual attraction (far more believable than mutual love-at-first-sight) through actual dating, to developing crushes, to calling each other marefriends and physical intimacy, to ‘I love you’s. This is a very natural progression, shippers take note. Overall, I found the romance highly, highly satisfying in ways that I more or less have not experienced in the [Romance] tag before.
And while it’s a foregone conclusion that Rainbow and Spitfire will end up together (just look at the cover art), it doesn’t feel that way during the story. They go through some troubles, even if some — like their first fight, which I barely registered as such — resolve easily. More importantly, their relationship causes conflict in the story, and here’s where we get to the first thing that irritated me: identity politics.
It’s made very clear from the outset that Spitfire being a lesbian is A Problem. I’ve talked at length about how hard it is to really make homophobia fit Equestria, I won’t go into it here. But, bafflingly, this stops being a source of conflict somewhere around the time Vinyl Scratch and Octavia cameo as an engaged couple. The focus shifts in the median to “you’re dating an Element of Harmony” (Celestia supposedly has a stranglehold on their personal lives, but that plot thread never pans out) and the far more reasonable “You’re the Captain of the Wonderbolts, you can’t date someone who is going to be joining later.” Another more compelling conflict is the fact that “the Wonderbolt and the Element” could be a potential scandal if any of the Manehattan tabloids ever get wind of it. (This is also later dropped as a conflict.) And actually, the PR aspect of Wonderbolt life, along with the general downsides to being famous, are portrayed quite well throughout the story.
So then comes everything else. Let’s talk characters. Spitfire and Rainbow Dash are both just fine the way they are; this is a solid, believable look at what we see in season 2, as I’ve already said. I will say that it’s a little odd that so much focus was put on Rainbow Dash being a weather manager, but it gave her something to do, not to mention something to be passionate about aside from the Wonderbolts. (I mean, yeah, she’s still that too, and we know she does weather work, but she’s more or less a weather prodigy, which is odd but also makes for some excellent weather-based world-building.)
But more important are the side characters, specifically Rapid Fire. You might remember him as Sir Not Appearing in This Episode from Sweet and Elite (Fancy Pants was rooting for him). Ruirik did something very clever and made him Spitfire’s twin brother. (It took me a second, and then I went, “Ohhhhh!”) He’s loud-mouthed, quick-witted, always ready with a snarky comeback, and has a great dynamic with both his sister and interim team captain Soarin. A joke that starts in the first few chapters about him and Soarin being a couple continues for the rest of the story and never gets old. (Even now, the line “You’re soft like a mare” gets me really good.) Rapid veritably leaps off the page, which is why I wanted to smack him sometimes.
There’s a whole host of good supporting characters: gruff and pragmatic team manager Arcus; muckraking Red Top, the closest thing the story has to a villain; Quick Snap, a photographer who arrives in the story just as abruptly as he leaves; Rainbow’s underlings in the Manehattan weather team; and Fleetfoot, who also serves as a villain, or at least a foil to Spitfire, being brash, hard-headed, and generally resistant to change. None of these characters were bad, and in fact some were quite good, though the ways in which they were introduced or used weren’t always the best.
There are a couple other plots, too. As I mentioned before, there’s one about a muckraking tabloid journalist following the Wonderbolts around, trying to get a scoop on which of them hurt themselves. Like I said, the PR aspect was handled well and this keeps a lot of tension during the early parts of the romance (because Red Top finding out about that would be even worse for the team than disclosure of the injury), but it’s dropped about halfway in for what ends up being the “real” plot. And that wouldn’t be so bad, save for the way it resolves, or doesn’t: Red Top’s hapless photographer snaps a few photos of Soarin and Rapid Fire, a fake story is spun out of the scenario, and everyone has a good laugh. And this confused me because, is colt-cuddling not as taboo as filly-fooling? Soarin and Rapid Fire being in a relationship isn’t a bad thing, but Spitfire and Rainbow Dash is? It just really seemed like the tabloid story was building up to be a major plot, only to be let go with an, “Eh, who cares?” Red Top even ends up “leading the charge” of sympathetic reporting on Rainbow and Spitfire’s accident toward the end.
The other plot involves the Sonic Rainboom, specifically the Wonderbolts, most especially Fleetfoot, wanting to learn how to do it. This weaves into the romance by giving Spitfire a selfish reason to pursue Rainbow (even if “I want to be a Wonderbolt” and “I want to learn the Rainboom” never really factor into their relationship on the page), and sets in motion the events that guide the final third or so of the story. I do like the way that worked out: much like The Last Link, we see a collusion of events, elements and circumstances, involving only one real mistake, that end up spiralling out of control into a major mishap with a thunder cloud. From the accident, through getting various hurt ponies to the hospital, and into the recuperation and investigation, this plot is heavy and includes some excellent hospital writing. (I still don’t know why I’m a big stickler for that, but there you go.)
Of course, not everything is equally good. Something goes terribly, inexplicably wrong in chapter 37. This is when Celestia and Luna, in disguise as regular unicorns, are introduced, investigating what happened in the accident. Everything just goes to pot. The plot drags (which is saying something; this is not a fast-paced story by any stretch), Celestia and Luna never felt right, the investigation wasn’t interesting, and while Rainbow Dad (his name is Bifrost, which is amazing) was a fun addition to the cast, far too much time is spent giving us his backstory, when we can infer pretty much all of it from context. Add to this a couple of tone-breaking Pokemon references, copious fandom jokes, faffing around without advancing the plot, addition of useless details like Arcus molting, and the end of this story is a real drag.
By this point in the story, I want to know three things: Will Spitfire be okay? Will Dash be okay? What happens to Fleetfoot? And of those three questions, the second is never really gone into in depth. Dash survives, sure, but it’s never specified if she’ll fly again, how well, etc., despite Spitfire getting that treatment. In fact, the only plot that resolves anything like satisfactorily is the romance, which is strange, since it takes a back seat in the last act in favor of the accident and investigation plots.
Let’s talk about other things that didn’t work. The writing has a lot of mostly little things wrong with it, mostly close repetition of words, though this expands outward to more than two circular conversations and at least one scene that repeats a fairly minor point already belabored. LUS was another big issue, and I got really tired of Rainbow being “the weather mare”.
There was a lot of humor in this story (Rapid Fire being a major source thereof), but also a lot of humor that doesn’t work. Far too many conversations drag on as characters battle to have the last word. Again and again, I found myself yelling at the characters to shut up, already. And on that note, “has a dirty mind” is not a good character trait, and “you’re evil and I hate you” is a pretty poor joke. The sexual humor also tends toward the juvenile. I’ve also never read a story with interlude chapters before, so I can’t really comment on their purpose in general, but the one in this story is positioned very poorly, being a ridiculous song and dance dream sequence in between the revelation and culmination of a very dramatic and emotional plot point.
I could tell this was being written as episodes aired in season 2, because things like the dextrous wings showed up partway through the story, in an obvious and commendable attempt to keep up with canon. That said, the dreamwalking scene felt more like mind-reading than anything else (did we even get that before Sleepless in Ponyville? I don’t think so). It was exasperating in that it told us a bunch of stuff about Bifrost and Rainbow that was obvious from context (literally the only new information contained in that chapter is that Rainbow’s mom is Firefly, which you just kind of assume with these sorts of fics), and also in that it highlighted another problem: POV switches. I mentioned this in my review of The Last Link, and it’s the same sort of thing: slowing down the narrative by trading viewpoint characters every paragraph so we can get everyone’s thoughts. The use of the technique in two fics in a row now is what made me wonder if I wasn’t missing something, but I don’t think this story put them to good use. When your scene involves one character walking through the dreams/memories of another, it makes no sense to switch POV to that second character.
This story also had a major emphasis on music. Given the title, it’s not surprising that there are Youtube links scattered about (which showed up in the reading, as well), but they don’t always come at the best moment possible, and a lot of words are wasted describing bands and singers. (Though I’ll admit, I really liked the scene where Rainbow and Spitfire meet a band backstage; their mutual fanning of each other was really symbolic of the relationship.) The musical touches also make for some cheesy romance at times, but given how much I was enjoying things like Rainbow trying to be awkwardly romantic and just pretty much everything about the romance, I didn’t mind this so much.
One last point of contention: the villains. Honestly, there are no villains in this story, with tabloid journalist Red Top being the closest you could come to a true antagonist. Spitfire tussles with Fleetfoot, but it’s mostly justified. Red Top is just trying to make money and entertain ponies. Quick Snap is more or less bullied into stalking the Wonderbolts. There’s a real clumsy attempt to portray them all as not actually evil. Red Top has kids. Fleetfoot has a teddy bear! And Quick Snap, worst of all, is not only asthmatic but also has an antique camera he inherited from his grandfather. It’s the way he’s introduced that I took umbrage with. He’s named in chapter 17 (if I’m not mistaken), as we see Red Top coming to him to intimidate him into taking pictures. Then in chapter 18, we’re treated to his entire life history, when I had fully expected him to be a throwaway background character, a plot device with a name. It was tough being asked to care deeply about a character I’d only just been introduced to, especially when that introduction would have sufficed to explain how Red Top got any pictures in the first place.
(One final side note: Quick Snap’s tragic backstory involves him working for Red Top and taking photos of “a famous DJ” in a hospital, that ended up ruining her career. He was thoroughly mortified for having played a role in it, and that’s why Red Top had to bully him into shooting the Wonderbolts for him. This confused me when Vinyl Scratch made her cameo, still in the hospital; it sounded, given the legend behind it, that the ‘photo shoot’ had taken place a long time ago, yet there she still was. I wonder if I missed something…)
Fire & Rain is not a bad story. It is, in fact, a tremendous shipfic, and I would hold it up as an example of natural relationship-building to anyone looking to improve their craft. But even ignoring the flaws in the writing, that much faffing around makes it a hard story to love.
3/5
The Spitdash shipfic I always wanted; I just wish it was written better.
(And yeah, I'll totally read the sequel when it's done...)
Ehhhhhhhh
I really don't know about this.
I think I'll put it in the pile with all of the other long fics I'll probably never get around to.
Yep, that's a good one. Even I thought the ending was a little faffing about, though not as much as you. As for the two nitpicks in your review: I never got the feeling that Rainbow Dash was a prodigy or anything. Just that she puts 100% into everything she does, so just that effort made her a really good weather pony. As for the pictures of a famous DJ I had gotten the feeling that it was like a few months, maybe 6-8, before that point and that Scratch was still recovering in the hospital. The pictures were her pretty much a pony-shaped wreck hooked up to every life support machine in the hospital and when we meet her she's just in a wheelchair if memory serves.
And yes, the sequel needs to be done so we can read it!
I like Fire and Rain, generally. It's actually one of two fics I've made eBooks for so far.
Like Solitair, this is one of those old stories that had been on my radar for a long time but since I'm not sure if I might ever get to it I went ahead and read the review. Don't know if I ever will get around to it to be honest, SpitDash is kind of the junior cousin of Twilestia in terms of relationships with a power imbalance, and disturbs me to a similar though lesser degree.
I'm actually far more familiar with Ruirik’s other stories that he has written in the Price of Loyalty 'verse. It's not exactly a non-disturbing set of stories for reasons unrelated to shipping, but at this point I'm invested enough in it that I'm not going anywhere.
This plot is a reference to another of Ruirik's fics, In An Instant. As I understand, it was written after he himself was hit by a car, hence the inspiration.
F&R also has a sequel which primarily concerns the plot of Rainbow and Spitfire's individual recoveries. i don't necessarily want to say that excuses the lack of attention that Rainbow's final state is given within the story itself (amongst other things, I'm pretty good friends with him personally and don't trust myself to give a fair opinion), but I figured I would mention both of the above.
3055808
You're too kind, DJThomp.
3055845 Hahaha, well it's not like you're kind and gentle to your characters!
In fairness though, I knew what I was getting into in the very beginning of the first story given how it starts and all.
3055808
In its defense, SpitDash also lacks the mother/daughter and teacher/student dynamic that also turn me off Twilestia. Post-Wonderbolts Academy, their relationship changes from "You saved my life, I will jump your bones now" to "I AM COMMANDER HARDASS OF THE UNITED WONDERBOLTS OF AMURRICA! YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!" Giving them a power relationship killed the ship.
Ooh, so is that why I stopped reading soon after Rainbow's dad showed up? Yeah, he was a lot of fun initially but I kinda just forgot about the fic after that point. Loved everything else I read though. I may just go read it again.
Wow, now I have no idea if I want to read it.
Stop trying to sell me on long ship-fics I know I'm gonna hate...
Guess I will leave this as a maybe, if I'm ever feeling like going through a really long reading.
I confess, I found the writing a real struggle, though I often enjoy Ruirik's writing.
Excellent, if slightly painful review, Present. I stand by certain choices I made, particularly in regards to a lack of a true villain and trying to bring in more backstory to other characters. That said, you're right, I could do it better now that I've had far more practice. So if it's any consolation, I'm in the process of overhauling the story. Hopefully I'll iron out most of the issues. Thanks for the awesome critique and I look forward to (and mildly dread) seeing more in the future!
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I like to think I've improved after 130K of practice ^^;
3055865
Speaking of, when you getting around to W&S? :P
3060921 Fine.
Dang, 16k words, no wonder I procrastinated so long on that chapter. I've opened it in a tab, should get to it in a day or three.
3060921
Honestly, I think that not having a villainous villain was a good move, you were just very transparent about it. :B
3060921 Mother of god, it's the jailbreak chapter, why I waited so long on it I have no idea. Comment incoming after a while.
EVEN THREE YEARS LATER THE LINE "YOU'RE SOFT LIKE A MARE" GETS ME REALLY GOOD XD