On My Absence · 1:24pm Mar 30th, 2015
Hello, again, followers. You may have noticed that, for some time now, I've been quite absent from this website. Now, don't worry. It isn't like the others times when I was stricken by anxiety, depression, or the usual suspects that have made life a pain for me for years. No, it was something else entirely...dissatisfaction.
That is, I am just not satisfied with anything related to MLP anymore. I've tried to rewrite my story, Here Be Dragons, a dozen times since posting the last chapter. Yet, each time, I just...can't. It doesn't feel right. When I look at what I've written, I don't have a sense of satisfied good work or the wish for more. I just don't like to look at it. It's not something to do with stress or sadness or anything like that. I just don't like it. More to that point, I don't even really like writing in general anymore. It's not that I think I'm bad at it or refuse to do it, I just don't get a sense of accomplishment when I've written anything. I can't look at it and say, "That was really good."
This has been a big shift in my life lately, especially in regards to cartography overtaking my writing. When I can produce works like the map below, I can look at it and say "You know, Toix, you did good. You did good." It's a sense of satisfaction and joy that I cannot eek out of writing, as much as one can eek blood from a turnip. When I can get great joy (and money) from making maps, why would I turn to writing?
Not enjoying writing isn't the only reason for my departure, of course, as even then I could still read pony stories. But, to be perfectly honest, I don't enjoy My Little Pony anymore. I just don't. It's not that I hate it or have something toward the story or characters or whatever (I honestly don't care if Twilight is an alicorn or not), I just don't like it. I can't sit down and watch episodes the way I used to be able to, when I'd marathon them for hours. Now, watching one feels like work. I've just outgrown them, I guess. I can respect the show for its merits, but there isn't joy in watching it for me.
In addition to that, most of my friends I made in the fandom have passed beyond me. To be perfectly honest, I'm not overly sad at some of them, as I've come to realize I hold very different views from much of this fandom. And that's okay. Everyone can have different opinions and views. But it isn't a place that I really want to come and spend my time anymore. Even the people I like in the fandom don't talk to me at all anymore, so that MLP is not even a small part of my life anymore. It's just...not there.
So, that's all I have to say. Been wondering where I've gone? Well, that's where. I don't hate the fandom, I don't hate the show, I don't even hate the porn. I'm just not part of it anymore. It's not a part of my life like it once was, and I guess that's just how it'll always be. It's not something I feel overly sad for, either, but just a reality of my life. I still have a couple close friends who are bronies (and one VERY close friend), so I'm sure I'll know some parts of the fandom for time to come, but it won't be a part of me. Not like it once was.
And, well, I guess that's it. That's the full story. Hope you all enjoyed it while it lasted.
-ToixStory
Sorry to hear that, Toix. Best of luck in the future!
Cya.
Oh. Well, c'est la vie. Best of luck with the cartography.
Do what makes you happy, girl.
But don't forget I exist, mkay? I'm normally good for a chat.
Good luck.
As they say, the honeymoon is over. I imagine that someday we'll all reach that point where we decide it's time to move on (some sooner than others). Who knows? Maybe in a couple years you'll get nostalgic and come back to the candy-colored ponies and their sickening sweetness. For now? Enjoy your cartography cookies. Doing something you enjoy is always a good excuse!
I'm sorry to hear that you're leaving. I really love your writing, and I hoped to see more of it, but I guess it was not meant ro be.
Hope you find something else that makes you happy the way ponies used to make you happy. Sounds like the maps is a good start. Fandom should be a fun thing, not a duty or responsibility. It's good that you realized it before pony was completely driven into the ground for you.
Eh. Cartoon shows come and go. Good luck with the rest of your life!
As 2924616 said, cartoon shows come and go, but legends — however small — will never die.
Transistence will, for me, always be one of the best sci-fantasy stories here, and one that I will always recommend.
But now, I may have to get some maps...
Glad to have known you while you were still here Toix, and I'll be sure to keep up with your maps.
Good luck in your endeavors, Toix. I loved reading what you wrote while you were here.
Also, related lulz:
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The best of luck to you, Toix. Your maps are incredible!
I hope you achieve all your dreams.
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Sad, but inevitable, I suspect. :B Best to ya!
Well, it's time to say goodbye.
I just would really like to say something before you go. Thank you. You've given me enough inspiration to post a story on this site (Not that easy for a very timid person like me
), and even if it's wasn't good I still feel good about posting it. You gave me the courage to share my stories and saw potential in my ideas. I never delivered in them and I'm sorry for that. But I'd just like to say that without you I wouldn't have started writing my ideas at all.
Thanks for caring about my ideas. I hope you lead a great life Toix.