Where do I begin? · 10:36pm Sep 26th, 2014
WARNING: ...JUST... warning.
The title of this blog post isn't a question to you guys, nor is it a metaphorical question I ask myself like a cliché movie critic wondering what bad thing he should talk about first in a horrible movie. It's quite a literal question. One I've been asking myself over and over and over while trying to figure out how to write this post, how to somehow explain the dilemmas plaguing me and my writing.
Seriously, where do I begin?
It has been almost a year since I last uploaded a "real" chapter of Friendship is Aura. And if you all would kindly excuse me for being a bit rude for a moment... you don't really care anymore. You've simply shrugged and let the story rot in your favorites folder, and I know for a fact that at least a few of you have removed it from your favorites altogether. I get a question from time to time asking me when the new chapter is coming, but it's mostly new readers. Newcomers who've just read the whole thing and are now eagerly awaiting the next entry. The rest are some of my closer Fimfiction friends that are genuinely interested to see what's going to happen next. I'm flattered by their support and well-wishes, but...
*sigh* I'm getting nowhere with all this as usual, am I?
So... I'm not really writing this blog to explain things to you. Especially not seeing as I've probably lost half of everyone reading this on the way down the text wall. Trust me, it's going to be a long one like always. Anyway, I'm writing this because I just desperately need to get this issue out for my own sake. So I can do that whole "think about the issue while you're writing about the issue" thing most people suggest others should do. I'm not going to promise that things will make sense once you reach the end, because I doubt it. Nevertheless... let's get started.
To understand why I'm having trouble with Friendship is Aura now, I have to explain why I started writing the story to begin with. Like I've said before, Friendship is Aura is the first story I've ever written. I've always been somewhat of a daydreamer, imagining my own scenarios from movies, games, and mangas in my head to entertain myself. But it wasn't until sometime after I became a brony that they became more than just "scenes". They became plots, and at the forefront of them all stood the tale of Lucario in Equestria... and for the first time in my life, I felt the urge to write it down.
So I did. One chapter at a time. The reception I got was beyond anything I'd ever dared to imagine, and by the time chapter 10 was out with the Lucario vs Chrysalis fight, I got drenched in praise for my battle-writing skills and continuously growing ability to make the plot more and more interesting. I realized how much I'd grown as a writer, and looking back at my older chapters made me see just how much progress I had made with my writing. I felt so proud of that. So happy.
...Heh... and that's really kind of sad, isn't it.
I have nearly no talents or knowledge of expertise outside of video games. It was the first hobby I got as a kid, and it has stuck with me to the point that I find nearly no interest in any other media. Sports. Politics. Cars. Mainstream music. Fashion. And so much more... all boring to me. I've always been the quiet loner of my family because whenever I come together with my relatives on a birthday party or the like, they always talk solely about things I've no interest in. Things that are as normal and coherent to them as the earth they stand on. I have nothing to add and nothing to learn, since I knew nothing to begin with. So I just stay quiet and listen... feeling like I'm isolated from the rest of the world around me.
I've been to schools in the past, trying to get an education for a good future job. At first I followed my hobby and tried to become a game developer, only to realize that I preferred it as just a hobby, and not a full-time job. Then I tried to follow in my mother's footsteps by becoming a teacher, and that experience nearly crippled me. Because there I was surrounded solely by people that were so different from me in both knowledge and personality that you could've painted them blue and called them asari. Nobody shared my interest, and why would they? They were normal people, with normal interests. Interests they shared with 90% of the rest of the world. Not like me, the outcast who desperately tried to fit in with poor jokes and references nobody got because there actually exists people out there who have never touched a game controller before, or have opened a single page on 4chan.
So I fled. No, I didn't just drop out, I fled. One day, I felt so out of touch that I just turned around and walked straight back to my car and drove home, never to return to that school. They must've really thought that I was pathetic, didn't they? That guy who failed to keep up with their "normal" pace and "basic" knowledge. I'm actually downright scared of meeting them on the street today because I don't want to look into their eyes and see the pity they have for me there.
Talentless. That's the word that would best describe me. A guy who's so out-of-touch with the world simply due to his own pathetic hobby that will never lead him anywhere in life. Not to a job, not to friends, not anywhere.
...I'm sorry. I know there are people out there that will feel offended by me saying that. You're not a loser for being a gamer, don't let a moron like me make you think that. I just suffer from self-loathing, only being able to see my bad parts, and none of the good. I could go on for days talking about my negative aspects, and why... No, I'll keep that to myself.
I predicted things pretty well, didn't I? The part about this being a long and nonsensical text? I admit, I got a bit off-topic... although I really didn't. Because all of this ties in with Friendship is Aura in a certain way, and all of it began with a simple sentence said to me:
"You can never make a living out of writing fanfiction."
How many writers out there have lost all faith in themselves from hearing that, I wonder? Because it's really a soul-breaking blow to many people, and not because it's mean... but because it's true. Sure, Friendship is Aura is a pretty good crossover story, but that's all it will ever be. To call it a magnum opus would be the laugh of the century, and there's no way I can convert it into a story in an original setting with original characters. Because all of it was based on already existing fictional universes. Lucario isn't my character. Equestria isn't a world of my creation. And thus, Friendship is Aura will never be more than like a kid's toy. It won't lead me anywhere, and nobody in the world will appreciate my efforts for writing it.
I've tried writing original stories, you know? Stories with characters and worlds of my own creation, not based on other people's works... And I've still to succeed. I'm not even sure I can do it. I look around me on all other fictional works, and I realize the knowledge required to write them. Knowledge about how the real world works and how it should resonate with the fictional ones in terms of moral or concept. Knowledge that, like I said before, I lack. I can't even get into any schools around my part of the country without sending in part of an original, interesting text I've written. So once again, I'm stuck. At the end of this at first seemingly hopeful path in my professional career, I ran into another wall.
I'm reminded of that fact every time I remember Friendship is Aura. I'm reminded that this is all I'm capable of; taking a bunch of already developed characters that aren't mine and throwing them into a scenario of my own choosing. This story that will get me absolutely nowhere. So why should I continue? Why should I spend hours of every day pumping out chapters of what will certainly be a 300k+ long story? Why should I pace back and forth through my house wording character lines to myself, thinking through every sentence down to the letter and setting my brain on fathoming awesome, high-paced fight scenes and emotional character development WHEN NOBODY IN THIS FUCKING WORLD WILL GIVE A DAMN?!
...Hahahaha... This really is pathetic, isn't it? I can already hear you all just telling me to man up and deal with it, as if it is the easiest thing in the world to do. "You don't have any other hobbies? Why don't you just get one?" "Just keep talking to those people, you'll learn eventually." "You think you're alone in feeling like that? Get real, dude, there are thousands like you out there." WELL THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING, DOESN'T IT?! I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW, MY PROBLEMS ARE JUST HUMBUG! IF ANYONE HAS DEALT WITH THIS BEFORE, IT SHOULD BE AS EASY AS INVITING FREAKING GODZILLA TO A BACHELOR PARTY, RIGHT?! WANT ME TO CURE EBOLA WHILE I'M AT IT?! IT'S JUST A DISEASE, WE'VE CURED THOSE BEFORE! HOW HARD CAN IT FUCKING BE?!
...*sigh*... Is anybody even reading this? This blog post will just get a few hundred views with five or so comments on it from the people that always comment regardless of what I'm talking about, won't it? Hehehe... You don't really care, do you? Not really, not beyond simple concern and giving a few words of encouragement. I can drop this story forever right here and now, and you will simply walk away and never turn back. There's nothing to remember here. No achievement, no well-earned respect, no talent. Don't kid yourself, people. You call yourselves my fans, but "fans" is such a shallow word. You don't care.
Even if you do, you really shouldn't. This story isn't worth your time.
And neither am I.
I love this story dude! You are an amazing writer, and you get the characters down well!
I love the story and will wait patiently for the next chapter
The story is a good one and frankly deserves your attention, and if not for anyone, then for yourself. Writers... even pros... don't write to be popular, they write because they need to get the story out.
And yes, manning up ain't the easiest thing to do in the world, and it is difficult, but you never know you are going to fail if you haven't tried. You got one shot at life and unless you're don't want your flames to burn (and you got flames if that pretty good rating on your story is any indication) then I suggest you use your talents, gifts because you have them.
Every human life is valuable b/c we only got one life each. Make use of it because that's what we were born to do.
Huh... That was, really depressing to read actually. It always saddens me to see others sad, especialy when I can sorta relate. I've had my own bouts of depresion and I can understand the anger and sadness you feel for being called out on it or people telling you to man up. I would love to tell you that it will get better, that you will get through this and you'll have your happy ever after, but in reality that's all up to you.. All I can say is that I think you're a great writer, that I can understand the pain you feel and that the only person that can truly make you stop feeling like this is you. I love your story, I respect you as a writer for being able to write like I never could, and even if you think otherwise I won't think of you or anything you make as a waste of my time. Time can only be wasted on bad things, and your not a bad guy. And by god is your story not a bad story. Valvatorez out.
I'm not the best at cheering people up, but here it goes anyway...
Dude, let me tell you that I empathize with a majority of your woes. And as much as it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, originality's not easy, especially because inspiration from another outside source comes first. Take it from someone who writes nothing but crossfics: True originality is all too hard to come by.
I never once thought badly of your story; in fact I still look forward to that next update whenever you - the author - feel your best. Hell, we kind of have the same writing process somewhat
Speaking of stories, I do feel a bit downcast that not all of my stories are the best and/or well-received by other readers, but I should at least take solace that someone actually went out of their way to read them.
As for trying to make an impact on the world, I know that feel. I'd be lucky to even get a job, even in my desired field after getting one measly degree.
It's good that you managed to vent to everyone here about how much life sucks, and I don't blame you. We don't know what's gonna happen next, and I'm not entirely optimistic about it myself, but it is what it is.
Hell, this next line isn't even original: Time heals
allsome wounds.We all need some time; you included. It's not over yet
Just because we aren't reacting towards your story anymore does not mean that we have abandoned it. I have so many stories to read that it is almost impossible for me to remember them all by. And yes, I do like your story so don't give up!
Here's the thing: I've never believed anyone could. To me, fanfiction has always been a pleasurable activity. A distraction. Like video games. Even after I learned that it can be much deeper than that (The Chase by kudzuhaiku changed my outlook on life, I kid you not), it's still just a hobby. So why do we write?
We write because we want to. The joy of publishing literature for others to enjoy is reward in itself. Interacting with those people is even better. But those people are not necessary.
I'm writing a video game crossover because it's fun. Am I going places because of it? No. Of course not. That would be stupid.
I know for certain that people do care about fanfiction, particularly ones that are greatly enjoyable or deeply meaningful. If you're honestly accusing your fans (legit or not) of not caring, then the answer is pretty clear to me.
You didn't lose interest because they don't care. It's you who doesn't care anymore.
You are wrong.
Fanfiction isnt a waste of time. Fanfiction is us fan expressing how we like the things we do, and how we put our spin on it. If it wasn't for fanfiction I wouldnt have dared to pin my sotry A New World A New Way - Swarm. If it wasnt for fanfiction, would there be any ideas anyway? Everything tarted as fanfiction: I know of several authors who pinned Cthulu Mythos stories becuase they wanted to write fanfictions in those universes (the authors words, not mine) . I know many of my ideas started as fanfiction before they evolved into what they are now.
Hell, Pen Stroke was able to get his fanfiction Past Sins into Hardback book form.
So, here you stand. On the corner of victory and failure. Sure, the righ path isnt always the easy path, but its always worth it. You just gotta get to the right point ofr view.
The way I see it, you can either ocntinue the story, and finish what you set out to do, or you can quit and call it a day becuas it got too hard. But no matter what choice you chose, remember one thing: You started Friendship of Aura not becuase you wanted to be popular, not because you wanted a hundred followers...
You wrote becuase you wanted to. Becuase you wanted to make a good story you first and foremost would enjoy.
Time to choose.
Eh, one thing's for sure, I loved the story when I first saw it. Read through the whole thing with no break, only to find it's unfinished, so I followed, big deal, the fact that you came back to say this though is kind of interesting... but also sad. I did forget about this story until this blog, and after reading it all... you remind me of me. I shit you not. I'm still going towards my goal of game developer, but I think there's only a specific branch I'm interested compared to just all of it, and so little schools offer it. The loner of the family, the loner of the world it feels eh? Left out because of all the jokes only you understand.
You're not the only one.
"You can never make a living out of writing fanfiction."
So? I wouldn't be writing this stuff for profit, that's was youtube and twitch are for. Or a simple job... I would just write this stuff because I want to. It's fun. If you can say the same, then who cares?
Ok look, my own opinion. You want to keep going, I'll keep waiting. I'm not going to comment on every little thing as if it's all important unless you truly want my opinion. I hated school, nobody understood me, nobody still does, the odd man out is the one who does things differently, for better or worse. I'm lonely as all hell, and yet I still stick around for some reason... Not sure what it is. What's yours?
I'm pretty much the same way (like, exactly the same with the family and the references and the fanfiction) and have been thinking the same thoughts recently. We've just got to go forward man, we'll reach somewhere we like.
This sums up my answer to those idiots. You should take this inspirational speech to heart. Take this speech and run to the highest mountains, to the lowest valleys, to the largest cities and roll with the punches.
Now go writer... go and amaze us with your talent.
We do care, your story is actually one the better written stories on this site. We may have moved on to reading other stories, but we keep your story in the back of our minds because of how good it is. Listen, I know how bad depression can get, I know what it feels like to be left out, I know what it feels like to say "I can't do this anymore", so I get what you're talking about. I know it has been awhile since you last updated, but we are patient, and we haven't forgotten. You are not the only person who has had issues like this. Just remember that we DO care about you, not just your story, we care about YOU. We all know that life isn't fair, but we keep going because there are good things in life. I know you probably set high expectations for yourself, but you need to start off small, and go from there (ex. I want to be a sportscaster, but I started off with working in retail stores, so that I could get my foot in the door). Fanfiction is just a hobby to me, it's something I like, but nothing that I will invest much time in, but I choose to read and write. You may just be a spoke on the wheel to many, but you mean a lot to others.
Fanfiction isn't a waste of time, Fanfiction is an opportunity to get your ideas out there and chat with others on the sites about your work and get reviews on it, while also getting ideas on how to better it. We are like a community and yes there are those that are mean, but look at these comments, we care, we are worried, and now we want to help you, though we may not be there physically, we are there in these comments that you are reading. We haven't left, we have always been here for you, when life gets you down, just come here, we will listen. You may be right, there may not be many views/comments on this blog post, but all you need is one to know that someone...somewhere actually cares, all it takes is one.
Don't think what you've been doing has been for nothing, we may not know you that well, but we can say that what you've been doing is very much worth it, and if someone tells you that it isn't, then tell them "Fuck you, I live the life I have". Don't let others control your life, you have that control, no one else can say otherwise. No one is worth your time if they say that what you've been doing is worthless.
First of all, find a comment here that says something positive. Chances are I agree with it.
Second, you shouldn't assume that time spent waiting will cause your story to "degrade in quality" in the eyes of your readers. I have had your story in my favorites for quite some time now, and I still re-read it, now and then. And you know what? The only "decrease in enjoyment" that I have experienced, is what comes of knowing what is going to happen. That is it. Everything else is as enjoyable to read as it was the first time.
How deserving of fans you are has nothing to do with how patient those fans are, how often you update your story, or even the quality of those updates. Fanfiction, like all writing, is an art. And when it comes to art, I have one firm belief:
If you like it, you're doing it right.
Stay strong. Write what, and when you want. But do not give up because you feel you don't deserve fans. We are not your fans because you do or don't deserve it. We are your fans because we enjoy your work. And we enjoy it because it is good.
And should you decide to write more? Us, your true fans, will be waiting.
Don't let yourself tell you these things.
I'm a lot like you; I've been writing fanfics in my head for years, and only now am I putting them down in writing. Because I want to write a real story one day. This was the best way, I felt, to get some kind of feedback. I haven't gotten as much as I wanted, but I am still trying. When I manage to find time, I try to write my story well, and I think I'm getting the hang of it, but still, it's hard.
The trouble is, most things worth doing are. There's a poem by Jill Wolf called "Don't Quit" that I think you should read. I've always found it inspirational; maybe you will too. And for the record, I'd still love to see that next chapter.
When you feel better, maybe you can write it?
I often feel like I can't relate to the world around me, but I am still trying, and you should too. Just try.
Hay, every story I fallow I fallow for a god damn reason. Usually it is so I can reread it later. But with unfinished ones it is so I can read them when they update and restart if I have forgotten anything.
The last thing I want to tell you is you sound depressed. If you need to rant we will listen and comment, if you need encouragement tell us and we will tell you what you have done well. I don't want to loose another great author to depression.
Dear Kang,
I may be a stranger on your blog since I never comment but I wanted to say something.
Your not alone in this world, In fact there are many people I know who feel the exact same way.
I love your story. The way its written with Luna and Lucario having a relationship ( I think?)
and how you added your own twist to certain elements. Your fic was the reason I started writing because I wanted to make people happy with my creations.
I often am ridiculed by others because of my love for Chrom and Olivia from Fire emblem Awakening. People tell me I'm stupid for liking that ship.
So I know how you feel and remember, you are a wonderful writer and no matter what you think I believe in you and so do all your fans.
And you gotta smile or pinkie will shoot you with her party tank
If I was next to you man I'd slap you'd being so… so... STUPID JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU ARE WORTHLESS DOESN'T MAKE YOU WORTHLESS THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO LOVE YOU, YOUR WRITING, AND YOU IN GENERAL.
Sorry bout that needed to get that off my chest but anyways just remember one thing,
Don't stop Believin
While I can't say that I've never dropped a story that looks to have been abandoned, yours I'm still following, since I do rather enjoy it... and I thought your take on how Luna became NIghtmare Moon was quite inspired. :-) So I'm hoping you don't end up abandoning the story, along with everyone else here.
And here's some stuff I hope helps...
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'" -- Kurt Vonnegut, 'Timequake'
Dude, don't lose faith. Believe me, I know exactly what you're going through. The reason why many of us still have Friendship is Aura in our favourites is because we DO care about it.
And on you thinking you're worthless and not worth anyone's time, you're wrong. Only those who deliberately go out of their way to hurt others are worthless and I'm pretty sure you don't fit that category. And yeah, writing fanfics might not make a living, but I'd bet my flufflepuff there are tons of professional writers who got started by writing fanfics.
Point is, like many others have already said, you're not alone in this, and you can clearly see that we're still behind you and your story. Don't lose hope man.
Don't get yourself down. Your fans are your fans because you earned them. We haven't pestered you for a chapter update because we know that sometimes writers need a break, life gets in the way, or they just have a bad case of writers block. While it's true that I have several stories buried in my favorites list that I've more or less forgotten, this isn't one of them. I love this story. Because of this, I've tried other pokemon crossovers.
You tell us not to care about you or this story? Well, too bad. We're going to care, because both are worth caring about
Ok, HOLD ON JUST A FUCKING SECOND, MISTER! There is NO WAY that this story isn't worth my time. I wouldn't have favored it if I thought otherwise. Now, as for the not pestering you for updates, I believe I tried to ask you when the newest chapter is coming out. I didn't keep asking because I didn't want to be a bother to you. This story is an amazing piece of art, and I honestly think that you got talent. You should never give up on writing anything, especially this masterpiece. Now, I can understand when there are things in life that go against you...believe me, I do...but that doesn't mean you should give up. I know life can be hard I know things can seem like shit...and I believe a lot of other people will agree with me in saying that sometimes you just feeling like staying in bed for the whole day. Well, let me tell you something: that's life for you, and life sucks if you let it, but it can also be the best time of you...well, life. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that just because you lost some motivation to continue writing, doesn't mean you should give up on life itself. Just keep going, keep doing what you love to do, and someday, everything will be better.
Also, if you ever want to talk to someone to help you feel better, the just send me a PM. I would love to talk to an author like you about things...anything, really...just to chat and have fun, brony to brony...writer to writer.
All you have to do is find a purpose that gives you meaning. Don't think you're alone in that. People die every day without having found a purpose. It's NOT easy. It's hard. Harder for some than others. It's a wall. And the only thing I can really say is good luck.
With that part, you have just summed up exactly how I feel too most of the time...
I didnt let it "rot" in my favs as you put it. I was really happy to see the last update even though it was a holiday special. Only reason I didnt ask for a new chapter is because I didnt want to seem like some obnoxious fanboy. Especially since I havent updated my own story in over a year.
I can lso understand how youre feeling. Its been the same for me for the past few months. The only skills I posess are playing games and talking english. Those prolly wont get me anywhere in life... but even though I may see myself as useless, there are others around me who dont see me that way. And so do you. Just look at all the comments you got under this blog. We still care about your story, even if you yourself call it "worthless". And yes, we also do care about you even though we dont know you personally.
You said that we shouldnt let some idiot like you tell us that we're a looser because we're gamers right? Well, then you arent allowed either. Don't let some idiot like yourself tell you that you're a loser because you are a gamer! You have an amazing talent for writing! Seriously, I'd kill to have even a portion of your talent.
And that thing about being unable to live off of writing fan fictions is utterly bullshit. I know someone who made some nice coin from publishing his Legend of Spyro fanfic. Past Sins by Penstroke has been pretty sucessfull too.
Dont let your own thoughts weight you down. You are not a loser! Who knows, maybe you're the only normal one and the other 90% are the actual idiots who just think of themself as normal.
By the way, Fight Theme for your Lucario?^^ Yes, YOUR Lucario. He may be based on the one from the movie, but he's is still your character. YOU gave him this personality, YOU gave him this background, YOU gave him hese abilities. This Lucario is your Lucario. And he's a fucking badass
Don't care? That's b
t.
Keep this up, man. This is your baby, and it's awesome.
YOU are awesome.
Don't forget that.
Wow. That just kind of broke my heart
But don't worry, man. Remember that, even though there are plenty of people who merely "like" your story, most of us genuinely love and enjoy reading your story and would be really bummed out if you stopped working on it
And the world is a nasty place, but that's why you're here; to find people who like the same things as you and are willing to be there for you when you need them the most
I skipped over the comments already here because I've got something of my own to say. Easy for me to say I care for you? Of course. Do I actually mean it? Yes I do, because I am wearing a pair of shoes you are unwilling my comfortable in.
I actually completed an Associate's Degree in college this past Spring semester, and I will be transferring to a different college for another subject I want. Despite the fact that I have succeeded at something, despite the fact that I believe in God, despite having been receiving counseling from one who is now my pastor, I have been seeing myself as a complete sack of shit. A waste of everyone's time, money, and emotion.
I don't hold much of the same interests as anyone around me, not even in entertainment. I mean sure there are similarities here and there, but I have grown fearful of what could happen if anyone sees what else I am into. I don't trust anyone at this point in life. Not even the few I have tried to pour out to.
I have lost my motivation to do my studies. Everyday when I start my part time job, AND while I am driving home from my classes, I think about committing suicide. I could just unbuckle my seatbelt, give a good yank on the steering wheel, and roll my truck on the highway so that I kill myself. Honestly, I don't even trust myself now.
I know, you say you don't share any interests with anyone. I believe you. Well, what can I say now? You want to stop working on Friendship is Aura? Go ahead. You are right, I will move on from it if you stop. There is more to life than what I think was shaping up to be the greatest fanfic I ever read. But know that I don't just see another fimfiction user when I see KangtheGuardian, I see a troubled guy who is reaching his end; I am looking into a mirror and seeing the one thing I have come hate. Myself. I want to see that change.
Want to chat at all in private? Hit me up via email. teawithaura@gmail.com.
Oh by the way, Kang, have you ever looked up synonyms for the word aura? I have. Here's a distant one that sums up my life for the past 4 years: façade.
... I get you. I get you well. This hits close to home. I deny this sort of thing is happening to me, and smile and joke and go about with my life. I'm not suggesting you do that, or that yo should do that. I'm saying that I know what this is like. But... you're better off then me. You're good at writing and have ideas, at least. That's a plus. I only have the ideas... or I could be being insecure about my skill. That's neither here nor there. My suggestion is... a story based off this experience. That is all. And one last thing... WAAAGH! on ya git!
well.... I skimmed, but the premise of what you say sounds eerily like me. Except for one MAJOR difference, while you feel that you are doing nothing with your life at the very least you have made a good story which contributes to a community of avid readers. I'm still trying to do anything at all with my life regardless of how useless it is. I've tried fanfiction and got through one chapter before I gave up on my writing, I haven't even tried recording youtube videos because I feel like I need to buy the software first, and forget streaming my internet sucks too much. I've had a job once in my life, for 2 months and at minimum pay working 28 hours a week maximum, I can certainly see the point of view you have of being useless in general, my answer to that is to just do stuff. I can never take the step to try doing something new due to a near crippling fear of change in my life but if you can take that step and try to the best of your abilities you can make the best of any situation. I'm probably the worst person to be giving advice on how to bail yourself out of a pit that I myself am stuck deeply in but you can try try your best. I often find that the only thing holding me back is myself, either from my insecurities or from my unwillingness to work for what I want.
Please don't skim through this comment.
You need only ask.
How dare you think that we don't care.
How Dare you think you're talentless.
We DO care. You are NOT talentless.
You are a GREAT Writer. You have fans who will support you. You are talented and possess a knack for storytelling that I wish I had.
To be honest, when I first saw Friendship is Aura, I thought it would be the typical decent-to-schlocky fanfic. That's why I was blown away at how good it turned out to be. I enjoyed Lucario getting used to his new home, and I LOVED the scenes he had with Luna.
(Also, the Smash Bros. chapters were awesome. I'd read a spinoff about that alone.)
Life is hard, yes. Life can hurt and cause us pain.
But just remember, you are never alone. You have people to back you up and help you. Even if it's just us, your fans, we are still here for you.
Even in the darkest of times, there is always hope. Just hold on to that, and push forward.
Human beings are capable of sympathy.
We kind of give it out freely by default.
Don't ever think we don't care.
We all have our ups and downs in life.
You're having troubles right now, and you're right, just because others got through it doesn't make it easy. Because they aren't you.
You might not be as tough as them. You might be much more abrasive and off-putting. You may not have the pain tolerance they do.
That's alright.
No matter your decision you have my support.
Do what you think you should, but make sure it's what you want to do.
I'll keep this short.
If you really were someone no one cared about, and had a story no one cared for, why are there so many comments saying otherwise? You are thinking of this because of your failures in life and you seek purpose. You need to find what you really want. Think of your strengths, not your weaknesses. If you want to write, go right ahead, but nothing in life is easy. You have to work at becoming skilled at what you like.
I've learned something about writing original content. This is something a friend, who is learning how to write, has told me. First you make something like a fanfiction, try and make a complete story, examine how you wrote it, and then think of writing a story in a similar way. Baby steps, man. Take one thing at a time, you'll get there eventually.
Everything else I wanted to say has already been said by everyone else. Just remember, you are not truly alone
You know I haven't really been around here all that often since January due to Military stuff but I never gave up on you and was with you from the beginning. I don't know what has happened since this post but I hope you're okay and haven't done anything drastic. C'mon man, me and you have been at this fic since the beginning and I'm still here waiting for whenever you feel like coming back I'll still be here.
I recently got my account setup but I been following this story since the very beginning I implore you to continue it, so many writers write stories that I think are TV worthy and this is one of them so please with all that is good in the world continue, you are one many great writers whose stories should be spin-offs the series, besides this the third time I've reread this.
Just publish it on Amazon or something when you finish it! Even if it doesn't sell well it'll still get some sales from us and you'll still get some money from it!
I would be lying if I said I was any good with words. I am absolutely horrible with words.
But I am good with facts.
I've scrolled through these comments, and read every one. I did not skim read your post. And you know what I see?
I see someone who is loved. Far more than I.
I've been reading fimfiction for a while now. at least 10 million words. And few have compared to this. I've been thinking about writing for a while, and believe it or not, you are the one that's given me the motivation. Because I look at you, and I see a mirror.
I'd feel delusional if I even thought this might help you. You are on a league far, far above me. Your story was jaw-dropping, absolutely breathtaking. While I'm sad it might be over, I am far more sad to see how you talk about yourself. You should definitely put your life first, but I have a suggestion. I would personally not care how long it takes for a chapter to be made. If you ever find yourself with a sudden burst of inspiration and a bit of free time, 100 words would make a world of difference. I hope I don't sound needy or demanding, but you are truly amazing, and don't EVER think yourself otherwise.
I really, really hope this makes you feel better.
I feel like this sometimes, too. It was almost a year and a half between chapters five and six of my story. I jsut couldn't find the motivation to write between all the other things I was doing. Between work and college, I didn't have any drive to write anymore. I have yet to really find the spark again. Maybe I just need a good night's sleep.
I hope you find the spark again. Maybe I will too.
Oh my gosh, and I thought I was the most hyper self criticizing person out there. Don't judge yourself too much man, You really are one of the best writers on FIMFiction. This story is definitely golden. I'm having problems with just trying to write my stories down. I can picture the scenarios of my story in my head, but its difficult to put them into words. I am always re reading this story and trying to imagine the different scenarios of what would happen next. To me it is pretty funny how the story feels its set up a little bit like the game Kingdom Hearts. A hero coming from a different world with uknown abilities fighting against the darkness (or at least evil incarnate in this) and the hero traveling to the realm of darkness to fight the ultimate evil