Fanfic Reviews – A Symphony of Meh · 12:01am Jul 20th, 2014
Time for a long one! I particularly hate talking about fics I find completely run of the mill, since I rarely have much to say about them, but in the interest of finding some common thread, have a bunch of them! Below you will find:
The Furthest from the Tree
The Fragile Art of Bonsai Trees
Of Little Wings
Honey Pie
I Spoke to Ms. Smarty Pants Today
Who Wants to Live Forever?
Malus Maleficarum
A Hell of a Time
As always, scores are in a 0~10 scale, with 3 representing an absolutely average fic.
Grand_Moff_Pony – The Furthest from the Tree – Alternate Equestria
An alternate reality where Applejack stayed in Manehattan.
This is an interesting fic, with nice characterizations, and that is well executed to boot. Sadly, it commits the fatal sin of never properly explaining why this version of the character is so different from the show’s. It is established that she was already very different by the time she went to Manehattan, and that even her motivations to go were different. So, it is less about an Applejack that made different choices, and more about a quasi-Applejack getting to a situation that doesn't quite fit in with the show. It inhabits an awkward place between an OC and an OOC Mane 6, and the presence of each side hinders the other. A sense of her being different, but just so, would have helped drive home just how changed she was between both situations, and maybe given us a bit more of an insight of her character, but this isn’t that fic.
More than that, the thing that really took me out of the story is how it made Applejack to be The Scrooge – the rich character that is absolutely miserable and lonely, and hates everything. It rarely works for me, and then, only with older, jaded characters, which Applejack is not. Young people in that situation either have a passion for what they do (she is a rising star after all!), or are actively working to distance themselves from that position, to change or improve their situation. The way it is presented, the characters’ actions make no sense, and honestly, even showing some kind of internal rationalization would suffice. Of course, then it ends with Applejack burning a letter that Applebloom wrote with all her love and glitter just because, by which point I’d fully expect a sequel where she buys out an orphanage just to close it, burn the building, and salt the earth. I just don’t get the appeal.
Why it should be read: For the interesting concept for a parallel universe Applejack.
Stand out moment: The way it establishes the world she inhabits and her position in life.
4.5/10
Regidar – The Fragile art of Bonsai Trees – Sad Fic
Fluttershy distracts herself with a little ecosystem in a bonsai.
This is one of those fics that simply tries too hard, with a constant atmosphere that something terrible has happened, but that is simply too overbearing to establish the proper impact. That this is proven in the most obvious way possible only serves to increase this feeling. It is also pretty uneven, alternating instances of telling over showing, with a bunch of metaphors that are just too direct to be meaningful. There is even a moment where the fic seems to straight up scream in your face “Feel sad now”, which bothers me to no end. Not to say that there aren’t saving graces, such as the imagery, or the more subtle way the fic colors Fluttershy’s perception, or even the overall concept of the distraction, but sadly, it is essentially ruined by its misuse of subtlety.
Why it should be read: The imagery is nice, even if it isn’t used very well.
Stand-out moment: The idea of the cockroach being stated as being essentially immortal, but that it could easily be eaten by a lizard, was very distinctive.
5/10
RavensDagger – Of Little Wings – Drama
Fluttershy prevents Scootaloo’s father (Snowflake) from abandoning her as a foal.
This is a story that sets up a nice conflict, but fails in not delving deep enough into it, and in not using the characters to their full extent. The chronology is kinda messed up, considering Fluttershy seems way too mature for that point in time, even more than she is during the show proper. Also, I’d expect her to help more, and not let the single father that almost abandoned her daughter walk back into the snowstorm alone. On the other hand, it is well paced, well written, and it is properly atmospheric, but it falls apart due to those core issues.
Why it should be read: It is well written Scootabuse prevention.
Stand-out moment: The scene of Fluttershy discovering the foal was very well dealt with.
4/10
SPark – Honey Pie – Melodrama
Pinkamena Diane Pie x Changeling
While I appreciate the overall sentiment here, of two broken souls finding solace together, the way it is handled here is simply wrong. There is a world of difference between Pinkie being sad or doubtful, and she being utterly broken and irreparable, and the fic seems to lack the finesse to distinguish both. Really, how would you compare Pinkie Pie, even in her not-very-show-accurate version here, to someone that just lost all connection to his past life, with no chance of recovering any of it, utterly defeated and heedless? The fic doesn’t do enough of the groundwork to make her seem depressed rather than just frustrated, and that makes the whole relationship really contrived.
Other than the fact that the whole core premise feels flimsy, there is a lot to like here. To start, it does a lot of good with the character of the changeling, in a way that made him slightly alien, but still down to earth enough for the romantic aspects to work. In this, it helps make this more than a crack pairing, and to add emotional stakes in the narrative. The rest of the mane 6 are well utilized, present but not overly so. And I do like the concept itself, it could have worked, but the whole thing is wrapped in too many layers of contrivance, from the way they meet, to the way the others react, to the reason they stay together. This isn’t outright bad, but certainly not my cup of tea, and I probably won’t be checking out the sequel.
Why it should be read: Cute execution of an unusual ship.
Stand out moment: The idea that a lonely Changeling would instinctually form a hivemind connection to a lover is very interesting.
4.5/10
BronyWriter – I Spoke to Ms. Smarty Pants Today (Reading by TheLostNarrator) – Generic Grimdark
Twilight can’t seem to let go of Smarty Pants...
This story remind me a lot of those old Goosebumps stories – superficially interesting and atmospheric, so long as you don’t look too much into the plot. It is extremely cliché, one of those stories where a person has a cursed artifact, but there is the lingering suspicion that they are simply insane. It has the “don’t go in there” moment, characters taking the most stupid decision possible, a whole town that seems to ignore everything that is happening, that kind of stuff.
Think a little, however, and the atmosphere becomes ridiculous, the characters paper-thin and annoying, and the whole thing just falls apart, a death blow to this type of story. It doesn’t help that Smarty Pants sounds like Bubbles in the otherwise great reading. Granted, the ending was pretty gripping, but in all honesty, there isn’t much else here.
Why it should be read: For a nice bit of horror, so long as you just go with it.
Stand out moment: The ending is pretty nice, even if the characters involved are too silly.
3.5/10
Ri2 – Who wants to live forever – Random Comedy
Twilight fears her friends are gonna die some day
This story was 100%, no holds barred stupid. Half of it are sexual innuendos, and most of the rest is an exploration of emo-Twilight. It works, managing to parody this type of story, but sometimes falls a little too close in the sincere side. This is mainly due to an unhealthy amount of repetition, some that hits, some that doesn't. The ending "twist" was fairly clever, if not in concept at least in execution. Turns out all her friends are also immortal for increasingly ridiculous reasons, and that they were the ones previously worried that Twilight would die off. It is a stupid story made to poke fun at some fandom tropes, and it succeeds in that regard, but I wish it had more variety, and worked in more character based humor. This is a fertile ground for comedy, but is simply underutilized.
Why it should be read: It is a funny troll-fic that tries to make sense, predictable but not bad.
Stand-out moment: The reasons why her friends are immortal.
4/10
SaddlesoapOpera – Malus Maleficarum – Generic Grimdark
Applejack gets cursed.
This is a resounding Meh. It is OK terror, has some OK bodily horror, and uses to good effect flash forwards, but the plot is straight up silly. There is a gigantic cursed area of Sweet Apple Acres that Applejack decides to clean up so they can get “maybe 5 more barrels of cider a year”. This is “sell your soul for a hamburger” levels of silly, and that issue is pretty pervasive throughout the whole thing. We also get Applejack tying herself in a sack and trying to endure the curse out inside her own cellar (so her family wouldn’t find out no less), and, in a scene that had me in stitches, vampirified Apple Bloom asking Twilight if “she wouldn’t stay for brunch”. It manages to occasionally build some nice atmosphere, but then simply takes you out with something silly, ruining the whole effect and making for a very uneven experience.
Why it should be read: For a short dark fic.
Stand-out moment: The transformation sequence was very well executed.
4/10
Aragón – A Hell of a Time – Comedy
How the Princesses passed the time while imprisoned by Tirek.
Talk about squandered opportunities. This fic has a bunch of really neat comedic ideas, but seems content to just state them, and proceed to run them into the ground, instead of developing them into something more. It has much of the character destruction that is common to Aragón comedies, but sadly it goes nowhere with it, which makes it like the author simply didn't care, instead of using them to something better. There is really not much to talk about here, other than retell how each joke got run into the ground, and kept being used long after they stopped being funny.
Why it should be read: For some small nuggets of comedy.
Stand-out moment: The whole idea of Twilight being essentially a Warrior Princess was a great idea, even if poorly explored. Now I wish somebody did a retelling of the episodes in the style of a Conan novel.
3,5/10
Looks like there was a common thread after all. The histories that give me the noncommittal 'Meh' reaction seem to be universally the ones where a core issue makes the story fall apart for me, despite some genuinely interesting parts. It is interesting that these things are fairly specific, but they are only disastrous because they make the surrounding story less impactful. It comes from contrived situations that makes stories feel rote and predictable, or a lack of subtlety that makes a slow realization feel shoehorned.
However, unlike stories I dislike, these stories didn’t have anything that actively infuriated me, or that worked against the message of the rest of the fic. And they had small stand-alone moments that I genuinely liked. I guess this means that this isn’t indifference, but rather disappointment in the poor execution – I did like most of the premises after all.
Huh. I found very little of Malus Maleficarum all that silly. Guess I just bought into the immersion a bit much, the horror stuff just grabbed me. Not that I found it a great story, it did have some idiot character problems.
Also, you had a meh review and didn't add in Hell of a Time? We might have to excommunicate you from the reviewers guild for not going along with that one inside joke me and presentperfect got a chuckle out of.
I liked Bonsai Trees, but I'm not letting the disparity in our views keep me from dropping a couple of these on your recommendation. :)
2300603
I have no idea what you are talking about, when there is clearly a review for A Hell of a Time in the post.
2300785
Hee.
I'm not aware if you're aware that Aragon is extremely aware that A Hell of a Time is good but hardly great.
2303509 I pretty much posted that one as a joke - I had it written on back-up but wasn't going to publish it since everyone seemed to have said the same things already. Blame 2300603
2303509
I'm just trying to give the author the meh reviews he wanted.
2305320 It's the meh review Aragon deserves, but not the one he needs.
Oh my frigging god. I'm started to hate that story so much.
Well, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the fic. However, I am glad you found saving graces within it, and that it at least garnered the highest rating on this list.
2300633