Fic recs, May 27th! · 8:24pm May 27th, 2014
Signal boost for Fimfic user alexmagnet: He’s started up a blog devoted to history. His style is accessible and humorous, and he’s already written some great articles (I particularly like the two-part series about Japan). If you’re not already following him here, you could do worse than to follow him there!
Also, the writeoff is in voting mode! 10 stories, 50k words, lots of superheroes and changelings. Voting continues through Sunday!
(Lookit all dem C's! c.c)
H: 1 R: 1 C: 7 V: 1 N: 0
Pound Cake’s Day by Devil001
Reading by Kilo Del
The pitch-bent dialogue for Pound Cake in this reading really adds something to the story. I’d suggest listening to it. This is apparently Kilo Del’s first and only fic reading, though. Oh well.
Genre: Comedy
This story reminded me that “the secret world of babies” is a Thing that’s been around for yonks. (I used to read a comic strip called Marvin; anyone old enough to remember that?) And that’s basically all there is to this: Pound Cake is secretly an evil genius hellbent on ruling the world, held back only by being stuck in a tiny, helpless baby body. Written for a half-hour challenge, this is nevertheless very amusing, and as I said, the reading adds a lot to it. The writing, on the other hand, leaves something to be desired, lacking a lot of necessary punctuation. I had hoped the exactly-a-thousand-word count would have meant some amount of editing after that thirty-minute time limit, but apparently that’s not the case. Still, it’s got merit.
Recommended Just for the Reading
A More Civilized Slumber Party by NTSTS
Reading by Doctor Cobra
Mature: Sex
Genre: Clopfic
I was rather surprised to see NTSTS’s name attached to this story. The GDoc doesn’t list an author, but given that there’s at least one other reading of this story that mentions him, well, here we are. And it’s unfortunate this isn’t on a more permanent site, if only because I’d like to know when it was written. It feels like a fairly early story, by virtue of being not quite as good as NTS’s others. It might have something to do with being a commission. Still, for a clopfic, this is quite good, setting up the scene with a lot of discussion about Rarity and Applejack’s understandings of one another as learned by Look Before You Sleep. Of course, with such a strong comparison set up with the show, I find myself looking for explanations of how this scenario could happen between these two characters, and unfortunately, I come up short. They go from Rarity offering Applejack shelter from the rain to Rarity being very forward in helping Applejack bathe before bed (enough that I have to wonder if that forwardness isn’t indicative of some repressed feelings not otherwise explored in the story), to “caught up in the moment” kissing, and then sex. All the imagery is good, and this also does well in not naming body parts, nor clumsily dancing around them with gratuitous euphemisms. The sex itself, well, I kind of zoned out during it as I tend to, though at some point I refocused only to discover Applejack was spanking Rarity, and I just don’t know what to think about that. As clopfics go, this is nevertheless pretty good, and should satisfy anyone who looks for a bit more than just sex in their clop. It likely won’t do anything for uninterested parties.
Recommended If You Like Clopfics
The Collected Poems of Maud Pie by Titanium Dragon
Reading by Winged T. Spears
Genre: Poetry Collection
I feel silly criticizing this for doing something I just praised another story for. Maybe it’s from my general disdain for poetry; maybe I particularly hated Maud’s poetry and don’t want to see it replicated. Whatever the case, this isn’t awful on the whole, but nor is it great. For one thing, it doesn’t really work as a story, per se. There is, for instance, an author’s note from Maud after one of the early pieces, and more touches like that could have given this some real personality and tied things together. It also leans too heavily on bland observation in many cases to really be interesting. That said, there are some flashes of brilliance, both poetry-wise (“Farming Rocks”) and character-wise (the surprisingly touching “Boulder”), and most of the poems are so blasted short that one can feel their time has hardly been misused in reading them.
Recommended Only for Poetry and Maud Fans
The Hypocrisy of Tolerance by Estee
Sequel to Five Hundred Little Murders
Genre: Slice of Life
You will definitely want to have read 500LM to get the full depth of this piece (and you absolutely should anyway because it’s excellent). Hypocrisy is an in-depth look at Fluttershy’s psyche and the meaning of bearing a Virtue of Harmony, through a poverty-shaped lens. For this scenario to work, ponies on the whole are required to be somewhat less cheerful than we see in the show. Hardly Earth-analogue, but just slightly more dishonest, more greedy, more self-absorbed. It’s certainly not out of the question — we see individual ponies who have these traits on a regular basis in the show — and even though I tend to think of ponies on the whole as forthright and pleasant, I didn’t have any trouble accepting the concept. This is of course balanced by the phenomenal side characters. Just as with its predecessor, Estee has a very clear view of who these ponies are — Caramel and Bulk “Snowflake” Biceps — that often differs widely from fanon. (Though ever since Hearts and Hooves day, I’ve liked the idea of Caramel being a philanderer with a wing fetish, so I appreciated that.) Alpha-Bitch Flitter also makes an appearance, and she’s just so fucking deep and nuanced that I want to die. Five Hundred Little Murders was a really emotional look at Fluttershy’s life from the outside; this takes an internal view, and is somewhat less shocking in what it portrays, but nevertheless, it’s a well thought-out look at the consequences of life in Equestria as they’re laid out in the show. It’ll take you to some really unique places.
Highly Recommended
Applejack: Princess of Eyebrows by alexmagnet
Reading by Porpoise Pete
Genre: Absurd Comedy
With a name like that, how could I not immediately read this? And oh boy, what a story. Yes, it trades on Celestia-related character destruction, but that is always funny, you shut up. Everything is pretty much spelled out in the description — princess, eyebrows, fire — but that doesn’t keep this from being a laugh a minute. This is the kind of thing I had wanted to write post-Magical Mystery Cure and never did.
Recommended If You Like Silly Stories
(White Space) by Super Trampoline
Reading by S Ninja
Reading by ShadowOfCygnus
Genre: Experimental
Super Trampoline has cunningly hyped his own story into the forefront of the Fimfiction review circuit. I didn’t mind seeing City of Doors’ review, but I’d like to be able to read InquisitorM’s without worrying over spoilers, so now I have to read it myself first! (Spoilers: he had a much different take on this piece than I did, be sure to check it out.) Cunning. Given the URL-breaking title and the immediate gimmick (the main chapter is white-on-white text), I of course can’t help but compare this to White Box. Certainly, they’re equally experimental, but this one comes off with a middling execution that makes me feel like the comparison is unfair, if not unwarranted. The writing is fairly plain, possibly meant to convey alien thought process, but ultimately not engrossing. That said, the idea behind this — a changeling not only talking to his victim, but explaining how it’s going to replace him, and then become a better version of him — is really great. Unfortunately, I can’t help but think that white isn’t the right color here. I mean, I was expecting an original monster before the situation became clearer (I was actually thinking of the things that jumps out at the end of NIGEB for some reason). As a ‘blank canvas’, well, the idea of nothing replacing something and being better at being something than the original something has some fridge horror, but again I’m not overly impressed. The story does a lot of explaining itself, and in doing so, tries to replace the symbols that we as readers already have with its own. (Now there’s a narrative parallel that is impressive.) White just ends up being a default "what can ya do" because I'm pretty sure you can't make black-on-black text on Fimfiction. The epilogue also leaves something to be desired; given the gimmick in the first chapter, I was expecting some hidden white text and got none. Instead, it just very plainly sums up what happened in part one, and though the last line is good, the epilogue overall feels unnecessary. This pretty much just comes down to the gimmick; the idea is good, but the writing doesn’t hold up to what I expect when writers start pushing boundaries like this, and overall, I’m not sure it actually accomplishes what the author wanted it to. That’s the thing about experiments: sometimes they fail, but it's no reason not to keep trying.
Recommended If You Like Writing Gimmicks
Fiddlesticks! by Tigerhorse
Reading by Goombasa
Genre: Comedy
I don’t know why this was in my RIL; there was pretty much no way I was going to like it. The main problem is that it’s two stories. One takes place in the past, laying out Octavia’s relationship with the Apple family, chronicling her discovery of folk music, and featuring some eminently remarkable and memorable characters in Applejack’s late parents. The other happens in the present day, Octavia trying to avoid Vinyl Scratch in Ponyville, and leads, yes, to shipping. The former story I found humorous and compelling; the latter I read with a vague apprehension, just waiting for the ScratchTavia ball to drop. That’s not to say it isn’t without merit. Setting Apple Bloom and Babs Seed up as foils against Octavia was actually a pretty clever move, not to mention how rare it is to see Apple Bloom getting a major role without Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle around. And it’s not like the past story didn’t have its own missteps, notably a ponified “Devil Went Down to Georgia” whose lyrics I could really have done without, and a very oblique and unncessary fanon reassertion of Octavia’s last name being Philharmonica rather than the toy-canonical Melody. (An aside on the song: it’s a conglomeration of DWDtG and something else that could potentially be original. The potentially original part actually tells a great story, cementing the legend of a character who’s mentioned throughout the story as a pony folk hero, and displaying a really keen grasp on what makes folk music work. I just wish I’d gotten the summary rather than the lyrics, if only because they take the focus off of little Octavia’s performance.) Fanon shoutouts were a big issue. The method by which Octavia ducks Vinyl is by slowly gathering bits of a disguise that just so happens to turn her into the Octavia-recolor who fans named Fiddlesticks. Quite a lot of the story is focused on what Fiddlesticks is, which baffled me slightly, because I wasn’t aware the fandom disliked her as a concept and needed to explain how she and Octavia both exist in the same world. This story just seems hellbent on making sure we know that Octavia Philharmonica is the one and only true treble-clef-butted music pony, and there will be no side canon saying otherwise.
And then we get to the shipping, and oh boy. If not for the fact that I already don’t see them as a couple, this story would really have turned me off the pairing. The whole reason Octavia is hiding from Vinyl is that she’s afraid the DJ will make fun of her for playing folk music. What kills this for me is her saying that they’re friends the entire time. The way they act purports otherwise; that's not a friendship! And it sure as hell isn’t the basis for a romantic relationship. I can just see it falling apart in a bad way somewhere down the line. (One thing, though: Since most of the story is about Octavia learning to accept folk music, to the point where we see her at the end of the story contemplating wearing Fiddlesticks’s hat to orchestra practice because she “needs a little more scandal in her life”, that she’s hiding from Vinyl is actually very telling. Yes, she’s totally comfortable as an adult with her musical tastes; that she’s hiding from this one specific mare says that Vinyl’s opinion of her is more important than anyone else’s. That’s attraction. It’s still deflated by the “Vinyl drives me crazy” angle, but at least the author tried.)
Ultimately, this just being a ScratchTavia vehicle cheapens it. A snobby Canterlot mare finding herself in the grip of down-home hill music is a fantastic idea for a story, and that part works marvelously well. But all the conflict with Vinyl just reminds the reader that the “real” story is “and then they go on a date”. It’s very sad just how unnecessary that is, and how much the story could have stood on its own without the shipping.
Recommended for ScratchTavia Fans
Unrequited Bliss by SanityCheck8080
Reading by Scribbler
Genre: Dark
I wish the explanation of what’s going on in this fic wasn’t dropped so early on. Because even before the “full” explanation at the end, this has a lot of fridge horror going for it, and not giving things away would have helped that final scene be really chilling. That said, how much this affects you is going to depend on how much you can believe in direct methods of criminal reformation existing in Equestria. (The second time today I find myself comparing a story to White Box...) This is at least a good idea, and I can certainly believe that, should such tortures be possible in Equestria, this would be along the lines they would take. But it still feels slightly off to me, so I can’t appreciate this as more than just a halfway decent dark fic.
Vaguely Recommended
Rarity’s Game of Cat and Mouse by TheOldPonyFromScene24
Reading by TheLostNarrator, et. al.
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Rarity really wants in Applejack’s pants, and that’s just what Applejack is afraid of. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Rarity on the romantic warpath like this before, and it’s hilarious. Every comedic beat in this story is perfect, and I enjoyed it all the way up to the end. Unfortunately, I’d been hoping they wouldn’t just up and fall in lesbians with each other, but that sadly happens. (It would’ve been funnier had Rarity remained unrequited, I think.) Non-shippers may not appreciate this, but if you can stand a bit of unexplained romance in your comedy, it’s one heck of a ride.
Recommended for Shippers
Love in Other Words by MickeyDubs
Genre: Slice of Life
This is a series of five interlocking stories that nevertheless can be approached on their own, each dealing with some form of love. The first involves Cadence and Shining Armor, reaffirming their love overtop a discussion of Cadence’s possible immortality. I’ve seen it before, but it’s definitely not bad. The second is a bit less so, a rather maudlin look at Dinky and Derpy that follows all the standard hallmarks of similar stories. There is a nice bit of understanding from Dinky of just why her mother being slightly different isn’t a bad thing, but then again Dinky’s also written as far wiser than her age would suggest. In the third, we follow Spike as he hands out gem-encrusted gifts to his friends on Hearts and Hooves day, as part of a personal penance for the events of Secret of My Excess. It’s considerably more light-hearted than its predecessors. And yeah, it’s the obligatory Sparity chapter. I have to say, I take a little umbrage with Twilight’s estimation of Rarity’s feelings for Spike, or at least the fact that she airs it so nonchalantly, plus Pinkie’s scene starts off with what I’m pretty sure is some blatant fourth-wall breaking. It does have a very good “Rarity letting Spike down gently” scene, though, so the payoff is at least worth it.
The fourth is — and this surprised me — about Apple Bloom dealing with the sudden death of her grandmother. It’s unfortunate that this feels like a retread of Dinky’s chapter if only by virtue of coming second, both because it starts off with the same events from Apple Bloom’s perspective, and because it’s also dealing with familial love. (Though I suppose that love for more than one family member does give it a different focus from maternal love.) It’s unfortunate because this is the strongest part of this story, without the maudlinness of Dinky’s, not to mention it recontextualizes quite a lot of the first three chapters and makes the whole piece more powerful.
Lastly is Scootaloo dealing with life after her mother abandoned her. For an Orphanloo, she’s surprisingly self-sufficient, and the chapter is helped along by being intercut with scenes of her estranged father searching for her. Again, this does a lot of recontextualizing earlier parts of the story, filling in a lot of the little beats that might make you go, “Wait, was that important?” Apple Bloom’s chapter might be just a tad stronger (Scootaloo devolves into bold-italic hysterics at a number of spots) but this one is good too, if only because it brings everything full circle.
Overall, I think this story is better than the sum of its parts. Watching those beats come together is quite a lot of fun, and definitely makes this worth reading. (The final line of the epilogue is amazing.) There are some odd quirks, most likely as the author says this was his first attempt at fully self-editing. There are POV shifts, the use of italics and underline, of all things, for first-level emphasis, copious amounts of the aforementioned bold-italics, and the use of centering for dramatic effect. This gets better as it goes, and I think if you can put up with some rocky spots at the start, you’ll find it rewarding overall.
Recommended
You messed up your spoiler tag on White Space.
I love that all my fics have been conditionally recommended.
I'm not sure what that says about me, but I think I like it.
2150230
Dang. That's the one that even previewing can't fix. :B
2150280
Likely: You are a silly pony.
A common thread among these reviews (of my story) Is that people went into the story expecting something great, and instead what they got was something interesting but plainly mediocre. That's my fault. When I originally wrote this, I never expected it would be as popular and well recieved as it is. When I originally wrote this, it was just a cool idea I wanted to get onto paper, one I realized would go well with a minimalist (yes, somewhat white box-inspired) presentation.
As for the epilogue (written a few days after the first part), I pretty much wrote the entire thing (on my phone, which was a pain in the ass) just so I could use that last line. So I'm glad you like the last line.
Thanks for the review, Present Perfect, and have a great day!
2150420 I liked it :p
2150814 yay. ^_^ I like your changeling stories too!
2150420
I liked White Space, even the epilogue.
As for Fiddlesticks, my favorite part is still Octavia referring to Vinyl as "The White Devil!"
That alexmagnet blog. That alexmagnet blog, this is now best thing ever.
Aside from Hypocrisy, which was also great.