The Making of "The Savage Way" · 5:29am Feb 21st, 2014
Publication on EqD, an entry in the Pony Fiction Vault, and now a feature by the Royal Guard. The Savage Way seems to be the proverbial Little Story That Could.
I find this surprising, given its humble form: five thousand words, two characters, and two small, simply detailed settings. And structure-wise, it's sort of a one-act play.
You might say it's literally an underdog story—that is, a story that itself is an underdog. How fitting that the point-of-view character is an unpopular background pony, who, at the time this story was written, was rarely used, and then only in romance stories. He never got to go on adventures, so I thought, "What the heck? I'll send him on one."
You see, adventure is in my blood—sort of. My father's family are great travelers, but my mother's clan are all homebodies, so being a mix of the two, I like to stay home and read adventure stories. I particularly liked stories of shipwrecked survivors; from Robinson Crusoe to Lord of the Flies, I never saw a castaway story I didn't like.
Two of these in particular had direct influences on my first pony story. Theodore Taylor's exemplary juvenile novel The Cay has a white American boy and an old black mariner stranded on a tiny Caribbean islet during the era of racial segregation in the Western world. The book and film The Black Stallion has the titular horse and a young boy (you see who these stories are written for) making friends after being shipwrecked. The Savage Way seems to be a reversal of these stories' shared theme of overcoming differences for the sake of survival and eventual friendship. Does extreme adversity bring people closer together, or does it set them against each other?
(Let me just say, I hope neither you nor I are ever in a position to learn the answer for certain.)
Another major influence was Arthur Porges's short story The Ruum. Its short length, psychology, remote setting, and theme of the narrator as prey all contributed to the inclusion of these things in The Savage Way.
Believe it or not, I almost gave up on this story without publishing it. In the summer of 2012, when I was just a crazy kid with a dream and a single, highly experimental story, I showed it to two of the resident critics on ponychan's /fic/ board, which at the time was the place to go to look for help. The first made a few good recommendations, and told me to send it to EqD.
The second had been in the fandom for a long time, and had a reputation for being difficult to please. I thought if my story could impress him, it would certainly impress a prereader. I linked the story, and waited a week before a response appeared.
It was without a doubt the worst advice on writing I have ever received.
It was clear he didn't care about the story's quality, and didn't understand the theme I was going for. He insisted that essentially everything be changed, for blatantly arbitrary reasons. One of his complaints was that the human's name was "generic". He insisted that the whole story be rewritten to involve Rainbow and Gilda trapped in a cellar (I think he had a thing for Gilda). And if it absolutely had to take place on an island, it should be a desert island, rather than a grassy one.
It soon grew clear that he wanted me to write a story to his particular taste, rather than improve the story I wanted to write.
If I had known better, I would simply have walked away. But I was fighting a rather nasty flu at the time, and wasn't thinking clearly. Trying to keep my manner light, I explained why I wouldn't be following his advice.
To say he tore me up one side and down the other would almost be an understatement. If his initial critique was unprofessional, his second response was a full-scale assault on good taste. He tried to refute what I said by making a lot of baseless assumptions and substituting his own opinions for facts, while using a slew of rather uncreative profanity.
Then he called me "argumentative".
In the end, this person caused me to make exactly zero changes to The Savage Way. But I strongly considered abandoning the whole enterprise. Why contribute to a fandom in which such people were respected?
In the interest of closure, I put it on fimfiction. As I recall, about five people saw it before it dropped off the front page. One of them, Detective Chmilewsky, said I should send it to Equestria Daily. Though doubtful, I did so.
The prereader passed it with only stylistic changes.
Next thing you knew, I had a dozen followers. That doesn't sound like a lot, but it proved the public wouldn't necessarily reject oddball stories. (It was about this time that I met GaryOak, and we agreed to edit one another's work.)
Some months later, I got a message from RBDash47—the curator of the Pony Fiction Vault.
And now, this humble story about a man and a pony on an island has gained yet another accolade. A year and a half ago, a respected critic made the ultimate bad call.
Let this stand as a lesson to aspiring creators: Just because a critic is harsh, or even respected, does not necessarily mean he knows what he's talking about. Think for yourself, and don't be afraid to seek second opinions.
Be well, everyone.
HV
Robinson Crusoe, Lord of the Flies, The Cay,The Black Stallion... You're speaking my language.
This is one reason why I'm always of two minds about getting help with my stories. (And occasionally of two minds about posting them anywhere at all.) Some of the advice and comments I've gotten from others has been great. Some of it has been horrible. And some people really are rude jerks about it too. I kind of hope that someday that will get easier for me to take. (If I ever get famous, I can just go "neener, neener, I'm famous!" at them, right?
)
AND THA SKULL KEEPS ON ROLLIN'
What a horrific concept.
I still stand by what I said before. This is one of the best Human in Equestria stories in the fandom. It's concise, it's effective, ambiguous in the best way, and has the best approach of the meat-eating issue I've ever seen.
You know you gotta be on guard when someone's telling you to do massive rewrites or something. Also, that person needs to be taken out back and shot for almost denying us your work :p
1858556
Make no mistake: If you're going to publish, even if it's on the Internet, someone else needs to look at it first. A big part of learning to write well, is learning to tell good critics from bad. This can only come with experience.
As for the "neener neener," it's a great temptation, but I'd say you would make a better case by winning awards than by just accumulating fans. (Hint: Figure out what people expect, then do the opposite.)
1858628
You spoil me with such compliments, madam.
But I am sad to report that I think I've already used up all my decent short-form HiE ideas. Luckily, I have something special planned for the one-year anniversary of Monsters.
1858678
It's always nice to see one of my original followers showing so much patience.
Alas, it seems my night job has done what bad critics could not: send Horse Voice into semi-retirement. But my latest crisis of faith seems to have passed, so hopefully I'll be back in the saddle again before too long.
Now, if only I could decide which idea I want to use...
The Savage Way was I think the first story of your's I read, back in the days I was actually on Equestria Daily, those countless eons ago. I still think it was an excellent story, and I agree with you on your questioning of conventional authorities, I have had problems with that too - CoughSeattle-liteCough- lucky I stuck to it really, but then I am stubborn.
I wish I had something as successful as The Savage Way, unfortunately considering current trends with Ponu Peeps and my increasingly potent apathy thats probably never going to happen...
Oh well, nice nostalgic times with ole Savage.
I should read it again... and do that review.
Some humans are dumb. Who knew!
I liked The Savage Way, but I really liked Biblical Monsters, and I'd be interested in seeing a similar "Making of" for that. Unless you've already done one. I did look to check...briefly...
1858994
I also made the mistake of seeking Seattle Lite's advice. He was a dick who vanished immediately after posting the feedback to ponychan so I couldn't ask follow-up questions. I was wondering if I was out of line for begrudging him that, but I suppose not.
Is it unreasonable to expect people you seek advice for to be able to chat with you via chat or instant messenger?
1858994
1860976
The guy I encountered wasn't Seattle, but he seems to have been cut from the same cloth.
And Spires, don't fret too much about it, eh? Either you're going through a crisis of faith that you'll emerge from eventually, or you'll semi-retire from pony fiction and have more time for real-world stuff. I mean, I haven't released anything since last August, and my personal life has been more productive than ever.
1860554
Oh, I am working on something, but it's not a making-of. It's better.
2352574
It was on an imageboard, so it's long since vanished. A shame, since the whole thing is ironically funny in retrospect.
There seems to be a surprising (which is to say, they exist at all) number of people who will suggest changes so severe and arbitrary that they essentially change a story outright to whatever they personally want it to be. I've heard of such people on Equestria Daily, though I'm pleased your eventual experience with them wasn't bad at all.
I wonder if that neighsayer ever noticed how popular your story had become, completely bereft of any changes due to him?
4588959
I was lucky--I ended up with Vimbert for this story, and his M.O. was "tough, but fair."
Part of me hopes that guy did notice, but of course, you just know he'll never bring it up.