TIf you have sex with a changeling that looks like your beloved and you didn’t know and you end up having a child together, does it count as cheating?
MLP: FiM
Adventure
Comedy
Random
Shining Armor finds out he has a bastard love child with the Queen of the Changelings. This can only end well.
Zecora
Cadance
Shining Armor
Main 6
Chrysalis
TheWraithWriter · 18k words · 1,343 137 · 19k views

Fic Sins · 1:56am Jan 31st, 2014

I had a stupid idea. I thought it would be funny to do a 'Fic Sins' in the manner of the Cinema Sins YouTube Channel. It is completely self deprecating and stupid. Please enjoy

Here it is. If you have any suggestions on sins I missed, please comment.

(Also, story now has improved opening credits music)

Fic Sins: If You…
The number of words in this title is too damn high!
I know it’s Equestria, but are you saying that just anyone can waltz right up to the front door of the royal family and just leave something there? There’s no guard or anything?
Insightful title card isn’t insightful
Also, title cards
Wife immediately assumes husband is hiding something cliché. Although she does not assume he’s cheating, so… *shrug*
Baby falls asleep on chest of protagonist cliché
Tainted Love
Celestia is a dick to sleep
Author implies Twilight has sex with books
Also, Twilight
Author implies Twilight has a cocaine addiction
A loud sound startles Twilight, but no one else save Pinkie Pie ever mentions it.
And after she mentions it, it is never mentioned again.
The word dude and Corndog are in the same sentence.
Windows ‘98
20% cooler cliché
Also, Rainbow Dash
Applejack
Rarity is a marshmallow cliché
Also, Rarity
Pinkie Pie
Use of ‘!?!’
Fluttershy
All of Twilight’s friends realize the baby is Chrysalis’s before Twilight, even though she is clearly the smartest of the group
Use of the word Afro
Use of the phrase Fo Shizzle
Story references Cupcakes
Spike the Dragon
Story inflicts mental trauma on the reader and then lawyers out.
Rainbow Dash is a Shipper
Story censors the word ‘Buck’ but then freely uses it and far worse words later
Use of the words ‘Lemon Squezzee’
Pinkie Pie is a genius
Zecora forgets she hid her hut using a cardboard cutout, even though she probably passed it on her way out this morning
Story implies changelings, which are clearly at least somewhat like insects, produce milk
It is apparently okay for Zecora to go around tranqing ponies.
Story references Twilight/Shining fics
Author makes oral sex jokes
Applejack makes several good points and suggestions, but the others ignore her for the sake of a joke
Story censors itself pointlessly
Use of the term ‘AppleDash’
Also, Cadance
*Rarity smashes the bottle on Cadance’s head* …Jesus
The number of words in this chapter title are too damn high!
Author forgets to us Spike in the last chapter and sticks him in meta-space
Gilda
*Fluttershy hit Zecora with frying pan* Fluttershy is apparently a psychopath
Use of overly dramatic music in type
Monty Python reference
Princess Celestia’s idea of handling a situation involving an infant is to send a squad of commandos
Assassin’s Creed III reference
More oral sex jokes
Has issues is an understatement
Also, OCs
Angel Bunny
Applejack is racist
Applejack stuffs her hoof in a pony’s mouths
Author references Predator
Story makes another oral sex joke
Use of the word ‘fabulous’
Story references CSI Miami
Story references TvTropes
Shining Armor gets two title cards
*Cadance appears* Weren’t you knocked out?
Does she just carry a sword with her?
‘Bad Guy isn’t really dead’ cliché
Story references Predator 2
Story references Doctor Who
Princess Celestia
‘The X has been doubled!’ cliché
Story references 2001: A Space Odyssey
‘Character says the name of the title or chapter’ cliché
Damnit Windows, again?!
After the Credits Scene makes less sense than the story
Oh, you waited for the ‘True Final Ending’? Yeah, piss off
Sin Tally: 75
Sentence: META-SPACE (with Spike)