Diamond Tiara Buys a Little Sister (Draft) · 6:21am Jan 17th, 2014
Just to let you know, I've been bitten by a Muse. And yes, it hurt. I blame Yukito who wrote Diamond Tiara Wants a Sister, which is very good and you should go read it, but it got me thinking. I've written a story involving a maternity ward before, and pregnancy, and I'm working on one involving childbirth, so what if...
Diamond Tiara thinks money can buy anything. Why not buy a sister?
( Source )
I'm about halfway done writing it, so if you want to spoil the surprise ending and wander over to throw in any comments except "I hate Diamond Tiara, she should DIAF" feel free.
Description
Those annoying Cutie Mark Crusaders have always been a pain in Diamond Tiara’s flank, but Rainbow Dash adopting Scootaloo as a little sister is the last straw. Now she’s off to the Ponyville Hospital to shop for a new little sister, but she should be careful.
She may just get what she wants.
Diamond Tiara Buys a Little Sister
Diamond Tiara fumed silently as she looked through the glass window into the shopping area at the Ponyville Hospital Maternity Ward. Scootaloo had been so proud when Rainbow Dash had ‘adopted’ her as an older sister, and the first thing the little brat did was to brag to all the students at school about how cool she was and how she was going to teach her to fly. Sweetie Belle had an older sister, Apple Bloom had an older sister and brother, and now even that flightless chicken had scored the coolest older sister ever. It just wasn’t fair!
She would show them. She would show them all.
The selection of little sisters available in the shopping area was rather limited, and even had some — ick! — colts scattered through it, but after some consideration and a little closer examination of the merchandise by slipping into the room behind the nurse, the choice was obvious. Daddy had been oblivious to the quiet hints she had dropped at dinner last night, which meant she was going to have to use a ‘Fate Accomply’ as he would put it. The practice of buying something and then calling Daddy to pay for it worked wonders for jewelry and other presents; certainly it would work just as well for a little sister.
At first she had considered getting an older sister, but that could be considered as copying Scootaloo, and that would not do at all. No, the solution to her problem was quite clear. A cute little baby sister for everypony to ooh and ahh over was just the ticket, and the cute little foal in the end crib matched all her criteria. She had a complimentary colored, soft golden coat, with a natural deep purple manestyle that was a near match to her own but still enough different to be unique. No wings or freaky magic horns to show up her big sister, and the cutest little smile that showed when she was sucking on her hoof. She just felt right as a baby sister, and since Diamond Tiara’s special talent was in accessorizing, that made her the perfect accessory.
The lack of a price tag did not deter her, because only the least expensive stores actually were gauche enough to mark their merchandise, so she waited politely by her purchase for a salespony to come by. It took a while, but eventually a tired doe-eyed mare wearing a loose blouse came into the room and approached her. The pale green of the blouse just did not go with her blue eyes, and clashed something fierce against her dark-magenta coat, but then again, the employees never did have anything to say about their uniforms, so Diamond ignored the fashion disaster while keeping her mind on her goal.
“Excuse me. May I help you?” The mare only spared a glance for Diamond Tiara before looking at the little foal as if to make sure the merchandise had not been damaged.
“How much is she?”
“Pardon?” That certainly got the salespony’s attention.
“My new little sister here. I’m buying her. You tell me how much she is, and I’ll go get Daddy to write the check.”
The salespony blinked a few times before responding. “Really? Do you think that’s how this works? Didn’t your mother tell you where little foals come from?”
Diamond Tiara scoffed. “I dont need a mommy. I have the best daddy in the world. He buys me anything I want. And I want a baby sister, that one right there. So how much?”
The mare seemed to suck on her bottom lip for a minute while thinking. “Getting a baby sister is something that you don’t just decide on right off the cuff. It takes time.”
“So? I thought about it all the while I was walking here, and that’s plenty of time.”
“Just a moment.” The salespony walked away for a minute to discuss things in very low tones with the nurse, and after they both cast a great number of glances at Diamond Tiara and her new baby sister, she came back.
“How about we talk about this while I feed her, Miss…”
“Diamond Tiara.”
I'm loving how you're writing all of this through Diamond Tiara's perspective/mindset.
God. First Mattricole, then Yukito... now the person who wrote the most adorable trotting magical nuclear reactor is making a Diamond Tiara Buys a Little Sister story?
That end there has me very much intrigued with how it'd work out. I'm eager to see where you take this.
Well maybe Daddy (Assuming there's also a Mummy or Mummy equivalent) did take her hints to heart and we might get a little sister in a few months.
Poor Diamond Tiara! You'd be surprised the number of kids who think that younger siblings are purchased!
I'm betting that Filthy Rich would surrender his entire fortune if it meant he could avoid the conversation he's going to have with her this evening!
This can only end well.
I am in hysterics now.
You can't go wrong with that title--it will get feature-boxed. Choice of Diamond Tiara's POV is certainly correct.
It might make more sense for her to buy a big sister, because a) she's jealous of other ponies for having big sisters, and b) little sisters take attention, big sisters give attention. That would create a stronger character interaction, between Diamond Tiara and some older, down-on-her-luck mare that DT hires to be her sister. It wouldn't require foal-napping and would give two characters (a newborn isn't much of a character; sorry, moms out there) to work on each other, each of whom could learn from the other. E.g., big sister is in it for the money but comes to care about the kid, and eventually quits due to DT's brattiness. DT throws a tantrum and then repents when she really misses her. Big sister will not be a big-sister-for-hire anymore, but they fall into an informal yet more realistic sisterly relationship, irritation, power issues, ambivalence, and all.
1727687 But adopting an older sister would be copying Scootaloo, the flightless chicken. :)
From here on down are spoilers. Don't read 'em if if you want the story to be a surprise.
Rose Trellis is Diamond Tiara's birth mother, who gave her up for adoption after getting pregnant. Filthy Rich is the father, and has been looking for her ever since he found out about her giving his child up for adoption, but has not found her until the last paragraph of the story. Diamond Tiara's special talent is accessorizing, and the ability to find the perfect accessory much like Rarity can find the perfect gems. She's trying to find the perfect little sister, and she does.
The actual objective of the story is to have a two-party conversation, which is what a negotiation tends to be. DT is just absolutely dead-set on buying the little foal, and the mother gets pushed from her initial wanting to give the foal up for adoption into eventually wanting to keep her, despite the trouble she's going to have with a career and a little pony to raise. All the while, little breadcrumbs in their conversation will be dragging the reader through a series of realizations. With luck, at the end of Chapter 1 the readers will be all asking so are Diamond Tiara and Rose Trellis related? and near the end of Chapter 2 when Rose Trellis and the unnamed foal are getting ready to leave for Manehattan, the readers should be screaming No! Don't let her go! She's your mother!
It's a goofy idea, but I think I can make it work.
1729393 Well... I'm kinda disappointed that it sounds like you're taking this great idea, which can raise really important issues about what is family, what is a sister, and what can money buy, and throwing it away on a gimmicky ending that teaches Diamond Tiara exactly the wrong things.
I cannot wait. Gimmie this soon, plz.
1732216 Well, I'll have to do my best to win you over then.
(Hm, I wonder how Filthy Rich would like dating Derpy...)