Present Perfect vs. The Legend of Spike · 12:05am February 7th
Hi! c_c I'm coming out of nowhere with my 8600th review, a vs. post of a story you've likely never heard of! Like I mentioned in my last blog of 2023, it was the first and so far only year I didn't post any vs. blogs, so I wanted to make sure that trend didn't continue, it just took me an entire month to write this because literally I do not know why, sorry it didn't happen sooner because it should have. >_<
So yes. DiabloGuapo's The Legend of Spike: Discord's Mask might not exactly fall under the "fandom classic" category — its stats are good, but I certainly hadn't heard of it until coming across Agent Fluffy's Reading. (Quick shout-out there, that is an ambitious audiobook, she got a metric ton of people to help her out and quite a lot of them gave really stellar performances. Definitely a good way to experience this story!) But even before I started listening to it, I sort of knew I wanted to give it the solo review treatment, if only because there's a lot to unpack. So, let's dive on in to this crossover with a classic Nintendo game!
(It sure gave me a lot of time to cut down my Youtube video listening list though! c_c;;; )
First off, I should mention: I've never played Majora's Mask. Everything I know about it I learned through half-remembered, ages-old Nintendo Power coverage, cultural osmosis, and analysis of the creepypasta video series Ben Drowned. I have played Ocarina of Time, technically (not for very long, it wasn't my copy), and I know a good bit more about the mechanics and characters of that. But if nothing else, I do at least know the central conceit of Majora's Mask: the moon is about to crash into the earth in three days, at which point you rewind time to three days ago and continue trying to gather items to give you the power to stop… I can't remember if Majora is the bad guy or just the mask controlling them, but you get the idea.
The point is, I don't know if scenes, quests, events, characters, or lines of dialogue are original work or taken directly from the game. If any are the latter, well, it does depend on what, specifically, is used, but rest assured I am not taking this into account as I talk about this story.
Anyway, this central conceit is used to plot out The Legend of Spike, with the caveat first that Spike gets isekai'd into Trotina, the pony version of the setting of Majora's Mask, Termina. That isn't, however, the very opening of the story. No, as the description states, this story begins with Spike having his heart broken as Rarity takes off to Canterlot to be romanced by some stuffy count, but not before telling him that they could never work because he is a dragon and she is a unicorn.
Women, am I right? :V
Now, in all fairness to both Rarity and the author, this is a pretty Rarity thing to do. She does get overly awestruck by the rich, powerful and glamorous, after all, and in this state is very much prone to saying insensitive things. So I honestly don't mind it. Also, hey, starting off with "Spike and Rarity can't be together" is great! I wish more stories did that! Not to mention, this conversation haunts Spike throughout the course of the story, one of many difficult things he experiences that causes the adventure to be just that much harder on him. And that's really nice to see, because far too often, authors forget about things like "characters have memories" and "thoughts don't always neatly sort themselves out". That opening scene thus has weight that lasts the whole story, making it more than simply a one-off note to open on, a mere suggestion there's more to Spike's life than just the adventure.
So, how about that adventure? Well, it starts with a mild, ultimately forgivable contrivance, as Twilight gives him a magical stopwatch that allows the user to travel back in time (but only 3 days at a time, and only up to two weeks' worth of days), to deliver to Zecora, because he needs a way to time-travel once he falls through the portal in the Everfree that leads to Trotina the clumsy bitch. Yes, he does get chased by timberwolves, why do you ask?
Like I said, it's ultimately forgivable; the time-travel aspect is kind of important and while he very easily could have found a magical time-travel device once through the portal, having him bring something Equestrian along with him that serves as the cornerstone of his journey is kind of neat! Besides, I was kind of livid about him having a panflute — 'song magic' is a major component of the adventure as well, i.e., playing songs on the ocarina from OoT — except now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure he did play some sort of flute at some point in the early seasons. This takes place in season three, I should mention, pre-Twilicorn, and my memory of that era has become quite hazy. So if there's any actually egregious contrivance, it's that the stopwatch has a magic meter; that's just silly!
Anyway, once Spike lands in Trotina, he meets another Princess Celestia (finding how various canon ponies are used throughout the story is fun), who tells him to seek the Elements of Harmony so he can defeat Nightmare Moon and stop the moon from crashing into earth, because who else is going to send the moon hurtling into the earth in a My Little Pony/Majora's Mask crossover. Oh yeah, speaking of the mask, it looks like Discord, and Nightmare Moon is wearing it, no real surprise there. Oh yeah, and also she turns him into a unicorn for some reason. <_<
This is interesting, because it does give him pause to think, gee, maybe Rarity would be interested in me now, though it doesn't last too long. He's eventually able to change back and forth between that form and his natural one, though the horrifically grotesque transformation sequences might be my least favorite part of the story. c_c;;; It's always described as intensely painful, with lots of cracking bones and so forth. But it's through a mask created from this world's Spike that this is possible, and that Spike lives in his head for the rest of the story, providing companionship, advice and info about the world.
And as the rest of the story continues, the broad strokes move thusly: He finds a situation or three where people need help. He solves one of those problems. He gets an Element of Harmony. He goes back in time three days. Along the way, he meets two more mask spirits, giving him two more transformation possibilities, which by the end he's mastered enough to use serially to good effect.
I did get a sense very early on that a lot of what he was doing didn't matter, because he was resetting time every time he helped someone. So I was very pleased when, in one of the final few chapters, Spike himself brings this up and uses his last three-day cycle — that is, the "real" next three days after he's out of reset juice — to go back through Trotina and help every single pony he met along the way. This is done with the assistance of a fully powered Celestia (she tells him at the start that her magic was divided and sealed away, so every time Spike gains an Element, she gets a little back) and her guards, and it was quite amusing watching him steamroll, essentially speedrun, the bulk of the story's obstacles one more time. Plus it gave us an opportunity to see him help out a couple extra ponies who he hadn't been able to any time previously. Everyone in Trotina gets a good end here. :)
Now. If there is one thing I want everyone to take away from this review, it's this: The best thing about this story is that the author did not have Spike delve into a different dungeon and fight monsters and solve puzzles to get each of the Elements. That's a very Zelda thing to do, and I cannot express what a dull, predictable story it would have made. This one decision is what makes this a very good video game crossover fic.
There are a couple of boss fights, but only two or three, and they tend to be portrayed decently well (as in, not exactly how you would fight a boss in a Zelda game). There's at least one puzzle that could have been pulled from a game, but it's forgivable. But the main thing is, instead of having to conquer a unique dungeon every time he tries to get an Element, he instead goes into a realm of the mind, where he talks to an incarnation of the Element's bearer (I believe we meet all six of the Mane Six in Trotina, and not a single one of them is doing anything like having an Element of Harmony, which was kind of interesting) who then sends him through a scenario that tests his connection to that Element's virtue. These range from having to deal with uncomfortable truths about himself and his desires, to a vision of the future where he's full-grown, all his friends are dead, and he literally doesn't fit in with pony society anymore. Again, a very good direction to take the action, and it means both that the various tribulations he goes through actually have weight on the story, as well as these trials themselves adding to his mental and emotional problems, and continuing to weigh him down as things progress.
(Ed. Note: It took me so long to write this, I had the opportunity to watch this excellent video that analyzes and, more importantly, spoils the entire game. And while it doesn't exactly go line-by-line through the dialogue, there is enough here for me to see that, yes, a lot of the side quests play out more or less the same in both places. This by itself is not an issue, however, and if nothing else, means a lot of characters were used in fun ways.)
Another very good idea here is that, while Spike's adventure progresses as it will, we get scenes at the end of every chapter — save in one case where it appears in the middle, as quite a good counterpoint to the main storyline — of what's happening in Ponyville. Interestingly, time there isn't passing as quickly as it does in Trotina, which is good, because there isn't quite as much to focus on. It's just scenes of the Mane Six wondering what the heck happened to Spike, then mourning him after an attempt by Celestia to send him a letter fails. And I particularly liked that bit, if only because she tells Rainbow Dash that Spike is "no longer in this world", and I was afraid she just meant that he'd gone to a parallel dimension but of course everyone else would assume she meant he was dead. No, no, she actually meant that he was probably dead, I just love that she used that wording with its unintentional double entendre. Also, this culminates in a pair of juxtaposed scenes, in which one Celestia officiates a wedding while the other conducts a funeral, and that's really great. :)
So I guess it's time to segue into the less good parts of the story, huh? The writing is overall fine, which is to say the ways in which it is lacking are in no way outstanding. It's the kind of story where the chapters get longer the longer it goes on. I gave it a 'barely passing' grade for the Zecora Test. There's honest-to-goodness Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. The ability to keep Luna speaking in proper Old Equestrian did not last long. But that is all, as I said, normal stuff.
One of the main actual problems with this story is dropped plotlines. And I'm not talking about how the first chapter sets up a bunch of side quests that Spike never has a chance to finish until the finale. But actually, that's where the first scene I'm talking about happens: He meets up with Babs Seed, who's leading a new Cutie Mark Crusaders, and it looks like he's going to be getting into blank flank shenanigans with them when he basically goes, wait, no, I need to go save the world and stuff, and takes off. And then he never comes back, not even at the end of the story. Some things, like Nightmare Moon just fucking off after being all, "How many times do I have to kill you, boy?" can be explained away as necessary for the plot to progress and/or happening like it did in the game (not that either is a good excuse), but that doesn't account for things like a Goron named Spike whose hotel room Spike claims for himself (and subsequently robs?), and what I feel is the strangest and most egregious oversight.
Around halfway through the story, Spike — or, more accurately, usually the narrative — starts to complain that he hasn't slept in days. In fact, he hasn't slept since this entire ordeal started! Every time he resets the timeline, he stays the same; that's how he collects the Elements, after all. But it also means he's not sleeping that final night, and is solely keeping himself going via a potion that Zecora gave him. Except…
See, number one, I'm pretty sure he slept in earlier chapters. That hotel room I mentioned, for instance? He slept there. And I'm fairly certain he sleeps during the northern mountains quest, when he meets Trixie and Bulk Biceps (weird choice for her assistant!) in their wagon. And if he didn't… how come?
The thing that really gets me about this is that each chapter covers one day of the three-day cycle. And almost never do any of these chapters feel like the events covered in them actually take an entire day. I suppose this could be a consequence of the days in the video game passing much more quickly, but… That's game logic. This isn't a game, it's a story, and it's notable a bit more realistic in many ways than the game it's based off of. So what the hell is he doing in the time when we aren't watching him find an Element or a new path for his quest? Not sleeping, I guess? Except he definitely slept, I'm almost sure of it. :| It's just weird, man.
Which brings me to one last thing that really gets my goat: It's clear the author has some strong opinions on various characters and has made sure characters in this story share most if not all of them. Blueblood, for instance, is a mild but obvious example of this. He is treated by every character in the story with nothing but disdain, at every chance they get. Spike and Rarity — both of them — hate him for how he treated Rarity. Trotina Rarity gets to beat his face in, not once, but twice, for each time Spike finishes his side quest. Trotina's Twilight, who is Blueblood's majordomo, treats him with unveiled contempt. One of the legitimately funniest parts of the story comes when Spike first enters his castle, and marvels at how much of an egotist the guy has to be to have this many images of his own face in his home.
And it's like… Yeah, if you take Prince Blueblood as the one-note pastiche he's presented as in the single episode he appears in in season one, this is pretty much valid. But it also seems like the author has sometimes gone out of his way to make sure Blueblood gets a drubbing, even when it's maybe not as important or even useful to the story as it could be. "Laugh at Prince Blueblood" actually becomes a plot-relevant occurrence on more than one occasion. And I can only ask, why?
The one character this actually bothers me most about is Tingle. If you've played a Zelda game in the last… 24 fucking years, god, since Majora's Mask itself apparently, you know who Tingle is. And you've probably had the same reaction to him that I did. Hell, when he appeared in the story, in my notes I wrote "oh god, it's Tingle >_< why is he a dragon weeb". And a full discussion of the nuances of Tingle and people's reactions to him is not really for this space, both because this isn't a Zelda-focused arena nor am I near well versed enough in the series' lore to approach him. So here's the quick rundown:
In every game in which he shows up, Tingle is a wannabe fairy who acts really, really strangely, and who tends to introduce himself as being a middle-aged man going against his father's wishes because of the whole 'fairy' thing. This is weird and offputting. But you might also see how his coding is, y'know, kinda gay? Effeminate, fruity, you name it, it's there, and it colors how a person reacts on a first impression. So when he shows up in this story, acting like his usual weird and somewhat annoying self, only to be eaten by Gibdos, I had to think. And later, during the speedrunning portion of the plot, he's arrested by Royal Guards and thrown in jail for grave robbing.
I shared my reaction to him up there, which I can characterize at best as equal parts "the author is going to get cringey about this, aren't they?" and "oh god, not this guy again." <_< But after a game or so, you get to appreciate him, because he's always got something good for you. But not so here. Literally there was no reason to include him in the story save that he's a memorable encounter in the game itself, because his impact on the plot is nil and he exists solely to be killed, un-killed, and saved from getting killed again only to be imprisoned. Spike never takes him up on his offer of a 'treasure map', and then he just moves on with his quest. So yes, I am saying this is all capital-P Problematic. >_> You can fill in the rest.
What this all boils down to is one final, uncomfortable truth about this story: it's pure Spike apologia. I don't have a problem with people who want Spike to get more respect, he certainly didn't and I get that anyone who identified with his "annoying little brother" role in the cast might feel just a bit miffed by how he's treated. But far too often, authors go the opposite route and make sure he gets everything they — not necessarily he — could ever have wanted. To wit, when I said it was great that this starts off with Spike being rejected by Rarity, I wasn't wrong. But, uh… Look through the sequels list, and it becomes quickly apparent that they get together eventually.
Gross. He's a kid, people, come on!
Like, seriously, putting him through this soul-crushing journey through time and space is plenty if you want to be able to elevate his status in the eyes of the reader. Seriously, he's inarguably a hero: he grows a lot, he suffers a lot, he saves an entire world, no question. Even better, there's a minor thread throughout both halves of the story where Twilight, both of her, realizes she thinks of Spike as a son. Perfectly acceptable, even good, honestly really love it. I maybe don't love the sappy moment where Equestria Twilight looks over her photo collection and realizes there aren't any of her, Spike, and all her friends. And then we get to find out what Spike had planned for her birthday in Sweet and Elite, which never came to fruition because she hiked off to Canterlot with her buddies. Like… yeah, I get it, but come on.
But, no, Spike has to not only be the hero, he has to be right about everything, he has to give everyone a "you'll be sorry when I'm gone" experience without even meaning to, and it just cheeses me off because it's entirely unnecessary in the greater context of the story, and people keep doing this. :| I don't think I need to spend longer on the topic, let's wrap up with some excerpts from my notes that don't fit in anywhere else:
- Kudos to the author for resisting the urge to have a Lyra cameo at the part where Spike encounters a Wallmaster. >_>
- "he [defeats Sombra] by *checks notes* daring to bring light to his lair"
- "he runs past the Flim-Flam Brothers and shouts, 'Nopony wants to hear your bullshit!'"
- A late-story plot involves some stolen wedding rings, and Gustave le Grande ends up being the thief, which I found a very peculiar choice. I mean, even Gilda would have made more sense.
- The Element of Magic is given a longer name: The Element of the Magic of Friendship. And I really like that. I'm amazed I've never seen it before.
- This story deftly combines Agentful Luna with a parasitic force that can be passed on to a larger threat. Something else I've never really seen attempted before.
- The final fight against Discord I found rather dull. Edgy mega-Discord isn't exactly fighting with chocolate milk but neither does he do anything interesting. And the Elements end up becoming armor for Spike, because again, he must be the The Ultimate Badass Hero At Any Cost.
- "he walks into his own funeral, passes out, then has a Dorothy moment lmao"
So in the end, how does The Legend of Spike shape up? It's all right. It has some flaws that I've seen in a lot of other stories, but it also does quite a lot of things well, and some of those are even wholly original. It's honestly not bad for either a second fic, nor for an early fandom crossover.
3/5
Could be worse!
Ooh bravo! this definitely sounds neat too. n_n
I have honestly never heard of this story before! From your review, I assumed it would run to a quarter-million words, but all that in a little over 80K? Nice. I like a story that doesn't let grass grow under its hooves.
Funny thing, with the Trotinan Spike shouting to the Flim Flam brothers “Nopony wants to hear your bullshit!” That was an improvised line by me!
As this blog title didn’t contain the fic’s subtitle or indicate that it was a crossover, and vs. posts are typically reserved for notable, much-read fics, I got this mentally confused with It Takes A Village (forgetting its title for a bit).
Seconding iisaw in that many a fanfic would let this much material pad itself out past 200K, so that this is only 82K is certainly a benefit. Of course, the many sequels might put paid to it not belabouring the point, but if this story doesn’t feel too cliffhanger-y at the end, that’s no real sin right here.
I can’t say it appeals to me much based on how you’ve described it. I haven’t played Majora’s Mask either, and the dropped subplots and such certainly don’t raise my confidence, but it’s the hammered-in Spike apologia that grinds my goat. Which may be a surprise, given how much I like the character, but it didn’t take long in my time reading Ponyfic to get sick of that done poorly, as it nearly always is. And while this doesn’t sound terrible on that front, if that topic isn’t going to hit the balance of not going too far, it’s not going to win me over.
Still, I liked seeing a vs. post for a lesser-known (short) longfic. Your schedule permitting (long shot, I know), I’d really like to see more of these.
If I liked Spike more and had played more of Majora's Mask, this would be my jam. I'm always curious how authors attempt to adapt a game to the written word. Unfortunately, this is one of the few Zelda games that I bounced off of before I reached the first dungeon. The three day time mechanic was too much anxiety for me to handle, even though the narrative is one of the better ones of the series. Spike being the lead isn't a deal breaker but I'm not going to drop everything for the little guy either. I'll mark it down as a potential read if I ever need a Zelda fix.
Thanks for the read! These are fun to go through.
5767076
Yeah, I was honestly shocked by the amount I was able to write about this one. :O Nothing in the story feels wasted!
5767077
...Oh my god, don't do that! D: That legitimately dampened my appreciation of the story somewhat!
5767083
Don't hold your breath is all I can say :B
5767090
Funnily enough, the reason I even tried playing Ocarina in the first place was because Majora's Mask sounded super cool to me. But looking at it nowadays, yeah, time limits like that are nothing but anxiety factories. D: I'm glad I saw that video instead.