Ghost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #83 · 5:00pm Oct 9th, 2023
My UK PonyCon report should start publishing soon, just want to do another round of polish. I took plenty of pictures this time, so it’ll be an easier read than last year. A lot happened beyond what I’ve shared already (one panel was so tailored to me it demanded a play-by-play 
), so there’ll be plenty to sink into. Not yet sure how many parts it’ll be split across, that’ll depend on final length and good breaking points. But it’ll be a good one!
Past that, it’s been a very uneventful week. Still a busy one, always lots to do after coming back from a holiday, and I had the rare experience of seeing two films in one week (both Disney100 flicks: Toy Story on Tuesday before I went back to work, and The Princess and the Frog just yesterday – the latter righted my wrong of passing on it when it was new), if nothing else. And, as expected, the loss of appetite woes have almost fully faded and I’m back to eating what I usually do at an only-slightly-slower rate. Still, little to discuss, so I feel okay turning it over to the fics.
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
Mailed Male Changeling Chainmail Exchange by Raugos
Seedlings In The Frozen Night by Camaleao
Of the Fair and All After by The Descendant
Feelings are Stupid by Tangerine Blast
Unnoticed by Estee
Weekly Word Count: 38,561 Words
Mailed Male Changeling Chainmail Exchange by Raugos
Genre: Comedy
OC, Royal Guard, Changelings
8,888 Words
September 2020Reread
Freshly graduated cadet Scabbard Bloom, being in the unlucky position of an earth pony too slim for regular gear, has little choice but to fix up the only old set that fit her in stock. So it seems way too good to be true when a brand new set of armour arrives in the mail, polished to a sheen, all the pieces connected, and weirdly adapting to be a perfect fit after putting it on. The accompanying info describing these features as intended and the set as a gift for field-testing of this new product only serves to heighten her anxiety, especially when she sees the product’s name, Changeling Chainmail.
This is one of those concepts that, while not absolutely unique, is really intriguing in the particular way it’s tackled (a changeling masquerading as armour for free love). Such fics can often fall prey to not having much beyond the concept, lacking a suitable story and/or characters to make it work beyond the headcanon. Happily, this strikes the right balance, largely off a compelling lead. Scabbard isn’t an especially unique or fleshed-out personality, but she has the right balance of idealism, cynicism, naivety and curiosity for a new royal guard in her situation. Moments of ego battle with an unstressed feeling of her being in over her head when she uncovers the changeling, and the tonal modulation to her actually considering his proposal flies too.
Such probably doesn’t sound like the basis for either a comedy or a fic nearly 9K long; honestly I’d barely call it a comedy even though it has a lot of comic moments, and as for the latter point, the changeling himself takes care of that. Suffice to say the reconciliation of where this is in the timeline is both really funny and grounds much of the fic in a way I found really sympathetic (such will depend on your view on changelings, but I suspect most will agree). And on the length, the changeling’s proposal of an extra thing with the malleable armour leads to a different second half that’s exhilarating and inspiring (and comic!) all in one.
This is, of course, a proof of concept fic, and not ambitious in any real manner, but it’s a well-structured one that only makes you want more because of how affable and pleasurable it is. Avoiding a lot of the pitfalls of character for both royal guard ponies and changelings being key to that, and something I really enjoyed and think most folks will too. Well worth a whirl!
Rating: Really Good
Seedlings In The Frozen Night by Camaleao
Genre: Slice of Life
Strawberry Sunrise, Applejack, Zecora
4,386 Words
December 2020Reread
An emergency situation forces Strawberry Sunrise to brave an oh-so-cold Hearth’s Warming Eve, to find an unicorn that can accelerate plant growth to get the end result now. When this doesn’t pan out, she gets a suggestion from a certain earth pony farmer: to use earth pony magic instead. Something Strawberry is sceptical enough of as it is, least of all from an apple farmer.
Fics of Strawberry or Applejack forced to ask the other for help and thus get over their distaste aren’t actually common (only 15 fics tag the pair, and just as many of them play up the rivalry further as dissolve it), but it’s such a no-brainer that, even with the festive holidays as a backdrop, a fic needs a bit more to stand out. In terms of ideas, this has that, with not only its own take on earth magic (the usual accelerated plant growth, but the details of what Applejack does in the planting conditions are unusual) and Strawberry’s bias against it, but a side role for Zecora, the background of a town party for the Mane 5, some side jokes at Rainbow’s expense, and the reason why Strawberry needs this in the first place. And these are dispensed at a reasonable pace throughout that keeps the fic from going dull (helped by starting in media res).
Which it very nearly does, for the actual writing technique here is subtly but pervasively wobbly in a way that undermines the modest but interesting content. Any reveal that Strawberry already knows isn’t really hinted at, no thoughts that she’s keeping it buried down that would make its later drop feel organic, which not only makes them feel unearned but dramatically weakens the perspective writing. Which is also weak from a general understated inconsistency, with her view on AJ often vanishing even when the two are together. And in general, the marred cause and effect, and lack of naturalistic dialogue, is enough to make the piece not really flow, just clomp along, and thus rob most of its twists and reveals of any energy.
In terms of content, this is a more than satisfactory holiday piece, and the delivery doesn’t cripple it on that front. Just renders it underwhelming in a manner it doesn’t deserve.
Rating: Passable
Of the Fair and All After by The Descendant
Genre: Slice of Life
Spike, Rarity, Twilight, CMCs, Pinkie, Applejack
5,000 Words
November 2011Reread
Winning a prize at a carnival game makes a good turning point for Spike to reflect not just on the day at the fair so far, but what’s happened for him since he came to Ponyville as Summer moves to Autumn. And while his mind dwells on the token he’s won and the pony he plans to gift it to, he continues to drift from activity to activity, taking the festivities of his new home in.
As one of The Descendant’s earliest fics (among the many he published here in December 2011, though it originally dates from that September, a mere six days after Season 2 started), it would be prudent to deny that it doesn't show. Not even in how there’s almost no story here, though that’s part of it. More in a lot of mildly clunky phrasing and close word repetition that makes the very soft prose and events land even softer than they were probably meant to. Even the atmosphere and cosy nostalgia of the fair, while so skilled as to work even for one who hasn’t experienced an event like this (waves), almost floats away over the course of the story.
At the same time, it’s that presence of capturing a place, and a kind of quiet contemplation that feels fully befitting of Spike at this early stage of the show, that does make this rather fluffy piece a really effective showcase of slice of life fluff. If the voice is wobbly and a bit uncertain, it’s nonetheless unique and distinctly this author, even beyond him foregrounding the best parts of Spike’s upbringing, him being a child still, and his particular interactions with the rest of the cast (only Rainbow Dash doesn’t make an appearance). The payoff to him giving Rarity a gift is sweet, and it’s matched by a few other story-lite moments that really solidify this as a quiet day where not much happens yet one he’ll remember for years to come.
If it’s a little minor, early, and rough, it nonetheless hit my buttons enough that I still rather enjoyed it. If you care even mildly about Spike being written well in a modest fic, this should for you too.
Rating: Pretty Good
Feelings are Stupid by Tangerine Blast
Genre: Drama/Slice of Life
Discord, Cadance
1,841 Words
August 2021Reread
A quiet moment in between attending to the two ponies nearest and dearest to her heart is broken for Cadance when she finds herself teleported to Canterlot’s statue garden, with Discord. Her first inclination to be annoyed fades when she realises Discord is down and confused, unable to solve a puzzle that he can only sum up as “Feelings are Stupid.” Not willing to hesitate, she does what she can to help him understand what he’s feeling.
This is another Iron Author placer from years past, and if I’m being honest, it didn’t wow me in any particular way. It’s undeniably competent, having the basic decency to remain cryptic about what it is Discord’s feeling, and through him describing differing feelings on a sliding scale from a balloon full of air to one of lead, the emotional sincerity feels genuine. On the other end, Cadance clearly gets Discord enough by now to not try and force him to talk about it the way a pony would, nor make a big deal out of it at any point, as they bounce from a possible connection to the place where he was once imprisoned, to this weird feeling he has now. At the same time, the shagginess common to most such speedwritten entries is hard to ignore, giving it a certain limpness at odds with its other strengths.
That said, I can see why it would impress at the time: the emotional sincerity and character interactions are really solid, steering well clear of rote approaches for either of these two of this type of situation for Discord. And when all is said and done, there is more to this than just what Discord is feeling, with aspects he truthfully denies being the problem nonetheless making it less black-and-white than it might have been. More or less as I remember it, but for its length and gestation, it’s perfectly effective.
Rating: Decent
The handful of moons in Ponyville hasn’t quite been enough to get the town used to Spike. Which makes working the front desk at the library hard as Twilight sorts out other library-running duties, especially as ponies have a hard time even looking at him, let alone talking to him. So the change of pace in getting sent to collect a book and late fees form an unresponsive patron is almost a relief. Until the pony turns out to have died recently, all belongings are being sold off in a stable sale, and nopony knew her, or seems to even care.
For many folks, the latter part of that premise will likely evoke memories of Cold in Gardez’s fantastic All the Mortal Remains. The fic certainly doesn’t shy away from those aspects, in how the mystery mare was a total loner, the journey only turning up some answers and leaving many open, and it having a profound effect on the resident of the Golden Oak Library doing the hunting as to their life outlook. Beyond that, it plays out more than differently enough to feel like its own thing.
Its own thing, naturally, being firmly an Estee story, one set in an Equestria that is a dark place where unpleasant ponies, racism and selfishness run rampant, even when one means well. A lot of energy, arguably too much, is spent on seeing that through Spike’s eyes as an Equestrian who isn’t one in many ways, often treated as not even a person, even by Twilight at times; it takes over 4K just to get to the house and find out what happened to the mare, and a little more than that for him to start his journey. That effort does have a purpose, what with the connection between a dead mare not treated as a person and the same often being done of him. But I can certainly see one not familiar and onboard with Estee’s stories that linger, and are rather inexplicit throughout, finding this something of a muddled endurance test, especially with how many tangents here don’t clarify their purpose (many never feel relevant except to reinforce the alienation of the mare or Spike yet again).
One who is onboard with that, and willing to do some extra work to meet the fic, will certainly find a lot to penetrate here. The indirect style of narration can be frustrating at times, but it is also very engaged to this incarnation of Spike as a smart kid largely blunt to engaging with the dismissal others give him, and thus more startled when others do make a visible effort to understand him. Those few ponies are always surrounded by the usual kinds, but their efforts do end up leading to a poignant takeaway at the end of it all, and however cynical this place may be, the end sentiments, especially by the last pony Spike meets on his quest to find out more about the mare, and the effect this all has on him, is right and true.
Along the way, plenty of details about his life growing up in Canterlot abound (again, arguably too much), and they range from the inspired and great (his fascination with theatre) to superfluous (an interest in sailing). Some may find the unexplained lore we do get about the mare frustrating, but it serves the purpose for me. The character voicing beyond Spike is a little more mixed, with many feeling rather indistinct from the prose, as can happen with Ester stories. Thankfully, most players this does affect don’t stick around long enough for this to have an adverse effect.
The fic would definitely work better if it lingered less, kept the character and scene details that actually mattered, and was somewhat less elliptical and cryptic. As it is, it’s a solid effort that will be very effective for those who can work with that.
Rating: Pretty Good
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 0
Really Good: 01Pretty Good: 2
Decent: 1
Passable: 1
Weak: 0
Bad: 0
Well, Mailed Male Changeling Chainmail Exchange goes on my list! (Subjects/characters pertinent to my interests always get a personal +1 to ratings.
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5749732
It was much the same for me; I've reached the point where I don't try to fight my subjective biases, but embrace them, warts and all, down to the rating. The fic just hit the balance of a solid concept and the right breezy tone for me, and when faced with that, little need to question it. That was the decider for what was otherwise a fic straddling the rating line!
I'm always happy seeing old Descendant fics getting dusted off and having a moment out in the sun. :)
5749756
I often have to remind myself that massively differing contexts forbid an apples-to-apples comparison of the takes.
A freaky experience I often have with big fics/fics by big authors this old is following the notable players' reviews that are themselves nearly a decade old, and with it all the differing fandom perspective they bring. And that happens a fair bit with you: this one was a 2014 review for you, after all. And in January, at that.
Heya, thanks for the review. Happy that this one hit the spot for you!
Just finished Mailed Male Changeling Chainmail Exchange, and I quite liked it! Thanks for the rec!