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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So now she had some good advice from Mom & Dad what will life throw at her next I wonder? Guess we could find out tomorrow!
Was the Text being kind, or evil, or it just didnt matte in the horrific way only a True Neutral can be?
A realtive weak minded unicorn getting distracted by the milk of centaurine kindness, and removed by the hand of subgoddess?
That last scene... sorta lacked impact?
Like here:
While it's clear this situation warrants those feelings, I didn't get the feeling she was actually pissed as hell. She had hissed at him but the verbiage, and how quickly it happened, it sounded a bit more like she was lecturing someone...
I mean she was molested by a brainwashed guy...
But that's in the description, because what actually happened is believable and in character for Tabitha. Reluctant but ultimately firm.
Just like her anatomy heyoo!
text has given Tabitha a gift now how will she accept it and her self?
Her seat? I thought she couldn't use a chair?
fit it properly - fit into it properly [perhaps she can pay to have it altered if she decides to stay as she is, a skilled carpenter should be able to use some or all of the original wood to preserve the sentimental connection.]
smiled at that reflection - smiled at the reflection
squeezed so delightfully - squeezed so delightfully
closed that distance - closed the distance
*****
Quite the boon indeed, from the Text today. I wonder if this is a sop for all she's had to endure for not having any of the rules explained to her, or if there will be a price extracted. One might consider her unpleasant encounter with Due Note a price to balance the boon, I suppose.
I just realized something that should have occurred to me chapters ago. Tabitha invited an elf into her home and even when she gave Spring her own place she never rescinded that invitation. Spring is a mythological elf, not a Tolkien elf so... yeah, that's not a safe thing to do, and Tabitha has no way of knowing. An invitation is the same as consent for an elf from mythology to do pretty much anything, and there are many tales of what happens when an unwary human is tricked into inviting a fae into their home. In retrospect, it's a really good thing that Spring isn't outright evil or with the unseleighe court. Otherwise, being transformed against her will would have been the least of Tabitha's worries.
*****
And maybe a shower and bath with some very thorough scrubbing, as well as opening the windows to air her place out, though that might cause other issues. I wonder if ponies make powered air cleaners with activated charcoal filters.
edit: sneaky typos escaped from my larder.
7491424
I didn't get the impression that she was mad at Due Note, per se. I think she's mad at the situation where she's putting off a scent that 'drives ponies wild' that she has no real control over.
7491440
Good catch!
7491440 Oops...
I had to chuckle at that. Nice to see her parents are so accepting even though that interaction was very unexpected.
That scent though ... oh Tabby just wait until heat season.
7491470 Typos hit with hammers repeatedly. Having a healthy relation to one's parents is a blessing of its own, no?
Yeah...not a fan of this chapter.
I'll be blunt here: the entire sequence with Tabitha talking to her dead parents felt rather pointless to me. Taken as its own thing, it was heartwarming enough, but the entire sequence lacked any sort of narrative impact, and as a result it left me feeling rather cold. This scene simply didn't seem to try and accomplish anything besides trying to stoke the feelings of the readers.
Now, I suspect that the intention was to help Tabitha reach a point of catharsis regarding her acceptance of her new body and her repressed desires. To that end, this scene was...adequate, but lacked some overall impact because it was such an emotionally heavy-handed solution to a problem whose presentation was lacking in weight. Yes, Tabitha had displayed repressed desires before, but she seemed to be dealing with that at a pace that was comfortable with her. Likewise, her initial shock and discomfort at handling her own form was very well-done, but by this point she seems to have done a very credible job adjusting, or at least reaching a place where it's not preventing her from functioning in her everyday life, including and especially with making friends.
One could very well posit that this doesn't mean that she's not torn up on the inside, and that's likely the case, but that doesn't matter if the story doesn't showcase that! To that end, the entire sequence with her dead parents unexpectedly showing up to reaffirm their love and acceptance of her was largely wasted, because she wasn't in a place where she needed something so miraculous. It's one thing to have your dead parents show up to whisper encouragement to you when you're losing an energy-blasting contest against a powerful enemy; it's something else again when they do it when you're enjoying a quiet afternoon, some time after a traumatic event that you're already recovering from. Like buying an ice-cream cone on a day with average temperatures, you're not going to get the full weight of the relief that would provide in a more heated situation.
Heck, we can't even chalk this one up to another quirky aspect of her building, since Tabitha's mother said that this was because of the Text. Really, that entire section could be skipped and the story would have been no worse off for it.
Similarly lacking in substance was Razz. He seems to be on the verge of having some sort of personal breakthrough about what he wants from his life - that it to say, what he wants from himself - and what he needs to do about that, but this revelation is meaningless since we're not seeing where it's coming from. So far, we haven't seen him go through the necessary tribulations that would warrant such a serious bout of self-examination. Given how he's been presented so far, Razz should not be receiving less development in that area than Zephyr Breeze had.
The only part of this chapter that I liked was with Due Note. Aside from the amusing lampshading about Tabitha wanting his name, this was the first time we've seen the effects of her pheromones kicking in, at least in a manner that was both obvious and obnoxious for her. Naturally, she did the right thing by informing Due Note (what an odd name that is...does it mean that money - e.g. a bill note - is due?) about what was happening, and then removing him from herself when he was unable to stop, so good on her for continuing to act responsibly on that score.
What Tabitha likely hasn't realized is that her location probably made things worse. It's one thing to be walking around outside, or in well-vented areas, with Coco. It's quite another thing to have a pony in her apartment, where her scent has thoroughly soaked into everything. To be fair, Razz seems less affected, so there's clearly some element of personal biochemistry at play here, but her apartment is going to be sexy-scent central simply because she spends so much time here.
7491523
Certainly! Although I'm not sure if a relationship with undead parents is still healthy...
7491529 I don't write for readers, as odd as that sounds. I write for the story, which happens to amuse readers. This was for Tabitha. She appreciated it, and... that's all it has to do. I didn't try to tug at any emotional strings, so if you felt some, that's on you. If you didn't, again, on you.
As for narrative impact? That's silly. She has permission, both internally and out, to be what she is. She looked in that mirror and she didn't see a stranger, for once. She saw herself, with all its flaws, but herself, and she smiled.
That was a big moment. I'm kind of sorry you weren't part of that.
7491568 A zombie dad or mom? Less healthy. A spiritual and temporary visit? About the limit.
7491572 I may have glossed over that section in the middle where she's looking at herself and reflecting (literally and figuratively) on what she sees there. I recognize that that was meant to be a big moment...but it just didn't feel that way to me.
7491529
Heartwarming isn't a narrative impact?
Tabitha has lamented on a few occasions as to what her folks would think of her if they could see her as she is now. She's surrounded by their legacy in the form of the apartment building. I infer from this that family means a lot to her and I suspect that the impact of their conversation is that she'll feel free to make her own way from here without the weight of 'what would my parents think?' pulling her down and keeping her from doing what she feels is best.
Besides, after everything that's happened to her, it's about time that she get a little quid pro quo from the Text to balance the books.
The impression I'm drawing from the remainder of your post is that you're not satisfied with the timing of the events in today's chapter, and you feel the events would have had a greater impact under different circumstances. Is that correct?
7491597
Not a narrative one, no. Evoking an emotion in the readers doesn't, unto itself, move the story forward, which is what narrative impact is.
I'm not denying that the story has characterized Tabitha as having a strong sense of legacy where her parents are concerned, but rather that this sequence is developing the story...at least in a way that it wasn't going already. Tabitha was already on the mend when this sequence happened, and moving towards a place of self-acceptance insofar as her new body was concerned (and even where her sexuality was concerned, though this was more of a series of hints than anything else).
The most that could be said of this particular sequence is that it let her move forward a little faster, but it wasn't anything life-changing. Ultimately, I see Tabitha as being a person with a strong enough will that she doesn't need external permission to come to a place of self-acceptance; being able to talk to her dead parents was a nice assist, but she was more than capable of getting to this place on her own, and was already moving in the right direction when this happened.
As you noted, I do feel that this would have had much greater impact under different circumstances. If Tabitha were fighting to repress herself, or was otherwise turning onto a destructive or even unhealthy path in response to the changes in her life, then this would indeed have been a miraculous event that moved her back to where she needed to be. But what we've seen of her is someone made of very tough stuff who has refused to let everything that's happened break her; quite the contrary, Tabitha seems to be stronger than she's ever been in the face of so many personal trials.
This wasn't a bad scene, but it felt like a rush of assistance coming in after the hero has already won the important fight.
7491631
If it helps at all to dip into metaphor, I visualize this scene as the issues that Tabitha has been facing with regards to her new body image have been put to bed and this final scene is her parents tucking in the covers.
As such, it's the end of this particular act of Tabitha's life and clears the field for whatever adventure comes next.
Edit:grammar typo
7491568 Not undead, definitely dead, but the Text is conducting a seance for Tabs for a confidence boost...and meddling!
Wow! Text is being extra nice today!
Keep going! ;)
thing.
7504350 Fixed!
All the heartstrings were tucked in this chapter.
7491402
Careful there, you donĀ“t want to attract Big, Green and Ugly.
*sounds of a wall being shattered*
Strong heared milk is here! Where is milk?
God damnit Strong, go back to Massachusetts!
Wait, why is he magi-grabbing her dick while going on and on about "mare" this and "mare" that?! If he is going straight for the "D" he should be reacting to stallion pheromones due to his own homosexuality, if he is straight and reacting to mare pheromones he should be pulling a Trump and grabbing her by the pussy!
8071757 People are not well designed robots and emotions get confused. The thing before him is hard to pin down while he's busy being distracted.