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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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humand and ponies - humans and ponies
*****
It's too late now, but I suppose pointing out that Spring talked herself into offering a 'boon' would only be digging the hole deeper, adding insult to injury and whatnot.
Ah well, it won't be anything that Tabitha can't handle, but it's almost certainly not going to be anything that she needed.
A mechanical hoofpick... I suppose if it works it would possibly be less expensive than a professional farrier.
Spring has such different thoughts and desires from humans or ponies, Tabitha is likely going to need a while to work out what shape she actually is when she wakes up, or if she has a half elf kid waiting for her.
Then again, depends on just how loudly Razz screams as that inclement hoof drill tries to take his leg off might need a heavy healing boon?
Fuck... that escalated quickly now I can't wait to see what happens next.
And that hoof pick... hmm .... hopefully that ends well.
I'm liking Trap's different perspective on how the three of the friends interact, and it puts the whole situation in a better perspective...
Urchins, the lot of them!
And... Spring... this is pretty straightforwardly frightening.
7466176 I imagine you don't need a professional one of those in pony land unless you really mess up, and they'd be more doctor than anything else. More of a personal thing ponies have to deal with.
As for that fae... There are no assurances this will end well or even reasonably.
7466296
You're writing Spring very well, too. So many people forget that elves are basically forces of nature. They follow laws and rules that are practically genetic and about as well understood.
Well! Quite a bit happened since I last checked in!
I have to say that I really like where the story is going with Razz, as well as his friends. For one thing, it's nice that - as of this chapter - they've all been given names. Referring to them via description is a cumbersome process that shouldn't be done for any character that has more than one or two lines, or is at all recurrent. But that said, the characterization for all three of them is practically leaping off of the page.
As I see it, Razz, Trap, and Bubbles are a sort of "loser's trio." These are three ponies who quite clearly have trouble adequately functioning in society. It's rather awkward that Trap was so easily able to diagnose their problems, since that sort of inner clarity usually presages being able to actually do something about it. But that aside, it's clear that Razz is too weak-willed to be able to muster the pride and ambition necessary to get ahead in life, Trap has his head in the clouds with his inventions (which I imagine he whips up in creative fits only to then abandon them once he gets bored with them, rather than sticking with the marketing and selling that would be necessary to make money off of them), and Bubbles is, well...a thug, looking to try and simply lie, cheat, and steal her way onto easy street, ironically never realizing that she's working just as hard as if she had a real job.
The sad part of all of this is that the three of them are pretty clearly co-dependent. It's not at all hard to envision that when one of them looks like they're going to make something of themselves, the other two drag them back down. Obviously that's not at all on purpose, but when people who have nothing and know it (even if only subconsciously), they tend to fight tooth and hoof to keep what little they do have, including comrades. Throw into that the perception that someone else bettering themselves makes you look even more worthless, and it's not surprising that Bubbles was willing to threaten Tabitha for helping Razz try to improve his life...after all, to Bubbles, Tabitha is trying to take him away from her, and in doing so indicting Bubbles as a person (that such an indictment is deserved isn't part of the equation).
On the other half of the equation is Spring. And wow, what can be said about her...
Again, I have to compliment your characterization there. While I normally think that there should be exposition of a character's internal thoughts and feelings via omniscient narration (though we have gotten some more of that here and there), not having that for Spring highlights her alien nature, which is very much the core of her character. To that end, she's very well-written. She's clearly operating under a very different set of values and norms, but there's very little hint as to what they are, let alone how to navigate them. That makes her an enigmatic figure, which is abetted by how she seems to shift behaviors at the drop of a hat, becoming polite one moment and aggressive the next, among other mercurial shifts of mood.
Unfortunately, what we haven't seen any hint of from her is motivation. Why is she in Equestria? What is she trying to accomplish, since I presume that she's not spending all of her time alone just staring at the walls? It's one thing to not know anything about what the yeti-like monster wants, since it's reclusive in the extreme, but with a greater spotlight on Spring, this question is beginning to become conspicuous in its absence. Even ordinary ponies work a job during the day; Spring doesn't seem to do anything except pester Tabitha to learn about Equestria...but why she wants to learn in the first place is a mystery.
Of course, Tabitha, as it turns out, is something of a mystery herself. Much to my surprise, Tabitha has confessed to being a near-total blank slate in areas of romance and sexuality. A virgin who's only had a few boyfriends - the implication being that not only were none of them serious, but that she had them more out of social obligation than anything else - she seems to be near-totally lacking any sort of development in that area. Moreover, she knows it too, and that's what makes it interesting. While she doesn't seem particularly upset by it, the fact that she's suddenly very cognizant of Spring's beauty indicates that she's at least somewhat bi-curious, and therefore indicates that she has desires, even if she's largely cut herself off from them.
Normally I'd question why she's that way to begin with, but there doesn't really need to be a particularly overt reason...and moreover, there's little evidence to draw upon in search of an answer anyway. It could be anything from repressed lesbianism to simply never having put herself out there for fear of rejection. Though now, with Spring's "boon" befalling her...well, given that Spring cogently noted Tabitha's attraction to her, but is also under the impression that she's a "horse-lover," I suspect that one way or the other Tabitha's sexuality will be a more active part of her life.
Oh, and Luna is going to drop in to visit, too.
I have to add, I'm honestly surprised how sanguine Tabitha was about Luna invading her dreams. Given that Tabitha is...not quite a control-freak, but very much a take-charge person who sets firm boundaries on everything, I honestly would have thought that she'd have seen that as being horribly invasive. She just had a complete stranger peak in on a very embarrassing sex dream, after all...and one that she herself was uncomfortable with. I'd have pegged her as someone who'd equate that with rape, or some other sort of personal violation.
7466559 Homing in on the last one. She might have arrived at negative conclusions... if she didn't wake up to a face full of Spring and the trials that such a thing brings. It was, in the end, a dream, and she was given about the least ideal way to absorb anything she experienced in it. She never got to process what Luna did, so she never got to decide if it was good or horribly horribly bad.
In the moment, she tried to stay sane and reasonable. She didn't like Luna being there, but she also had no idea who Luna was, or if she had the power to hurt her in new and horrible ways that made complaining at her loudly something she gently set aside for the moment in favor of asking questions.
I don't think Tabitha's out of character in her responses.
I'm having fun. With Spring, with Tabitha, with the Manehattan CMC, starting with Razz. This story! I like it. I just worry about... the next step!
7466274 Next time you see Razz he'll be limping on three hooves with a thick heavy bandage?
7466824
I would laugh at that and feel bad afterwards.
7466495
7466296 Hope Spring chooses right & sets up an attraction spell between Razz & Tabs, the Coco route would be disappointing.
a good chapter.
I am both worried and hopeful (as a best case translation of this scenario) that Tabitha will find herself suddenly flirting with Coco and Razz while sporting a much curvier form, plus an additional male-specific appendage, because Spring's attempt at being kind and considerate might lead Spring to try to create an all-in-one solution to all of the proposed ideas for boons.
To reiterate all such influences on an all-in-one solution:
Tabitha's restrictions:
-staying human
-staying female
Tabitha's suggestions:
-leave me alone!
-increased physical ability
Spring's proposals:
-induced attraction from and to a chosen pony or person (listed Razz, Coco, and Spring herself)
-a horse form (canceled by above restriction)
-a sexually enhanced form like Spring's
-a male form (canceled by the above restriction)
-a workaround for having children with other women (in the same sentence Spring says she WAS willing to be her partner as past tense, implying the change that Spring would have done for herself she would instead transfer to Tabitha in expectation of her own eviction)
If this thing were to happen, i fully endorse the author of this story as a skilled enough writer to pull it off in a way that avoids the fetishy feel entirely while enriching the story with the new opportunities for enlightening and believable character drama!
Caretaker
Wow Spring, that was almost fury! We wonder if she's going to anthropomorphize like Tabitha. Hmm...
So we've finally met all of the Struggling Teenage Ostracized Ponies, huh? Well, they're trying at least.
Keep going! ;)
Oh goddammit it went in the same direction as the last
Why is my quest for HiE stories of living life as themselves and away from the Mane Six, so hard to find?
ORZ
7507713 I see no Mane Six?
I did not think of the good health either. What I though was to have a plant in the lobby that would give off a pleasant smell.
Oh boy, that elf sooo deserves a proper smack with an good, old, iron frying pan to the snooze!
Really? It can only end well? You can't imagine it could potentially possibly maybe not end well.....