Seriously it looks like I chose someone who knows what the hell he's doing

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First, I have changed my avatar picture to something more fitting of my solid bronze medal for national holidays. I'm digging the spirit of Halloween this year and thought my profile picture should reflect it. Thus, ye now have a skeleton for a captain.

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So, before I get into the heavy matters of this post, I'd like to get a brief announcement out of the way. First, sorry I have been offline the last few days. My charging cable decided I wasn't paying it enough and went on strike. Also, just to let you know, I'm going to be hella busy most of this week due to homecoming preparations with my fraternity. Now that that's out of the way...

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Suddenly I just saw four different stories having to do with Pokemon and almost the same names, all variants on, "A New ______" just hit my desk. What the fucking hell? Please tell me this isn't the next thing with fad fics.

Holy shit, that was awesome.

Good evenin to ye, me pirate crew!

So, part of my university's traditional festivities for homecoming includes each fraternity presenting a dance. Well, listening to a new (relatively) song off a recommendation, I just had a great idea for one. What song, you might ask?

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So, I just got gangbanged (always a great way to start off a sentence) by several people in the lobby of my apartment who were representing a church a few blocks over from where I lived, and shiver me fuckin timbers they were bad at convincing me to actually go to their congregation. As some of you might remember, I have been in quite a few churches, been a champion of persuasive and public speaking competitions for years, and have done a fair amount of recruitment in my fraternity, and the

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Greetings and salutations, followers!

So, you might have noticed I have changed my title from Commander. That is because I no longer serve in the royal navy. I officially cast away may colors and became my own master, a true pirate king. Allow me to explain.

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Before you read, listen to the entirety of this.

So, yeah. I didn't see that coming. Worst part is that this used to be one of my lullabies when I was a youngster.

Ouch. Right in the childhood.