• Member Since 29th Dec, 2012
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The Drunken Sailor


God, I need a drink.

Sequels1

T

Flash, a young poor stallion growing out of a hard life on the streets joins the ranks of the royal guard. In spite of a predisposition against the elite and rich as corrupt and extravagant elitists, he enjoys his new job, until, as fate would have it, he runs into Princess Celestia's personal protege, Twilight Sparkle.

(Sex tag is for suggestive themes)

(First Three and 1/2 Chapters were written by Pirate King Fowler, the rest is my own work.)

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 218 )
Comment posted by C137 deleted Nov 5th, 2014

I like this so far :D

5231070 You know, that's what the really stupid haters say about bronies

Comment posted by C137 deleted Nov 5th, 2014

5231070 Do not spam on a site you don't belong in, this is your only warning.

5231121 Then why are you on a site that specifically caters to bronies, who write stories about a show called my little pony?
And do you have a reason for being on on a story about said ponies other than idiotic hate?

Comment posted by C137 deleted Nov 5th, 2014

5231143 egh
Fair nuff
But all bronies are different xD

Comment posted by MicNight deleted Nov 5th, 2014

5231286 I don't have nearly enough sighs to express my dislike for people who go around to Flashlight stories and bash them just for being Flashlight. Some people like the ship, and it might just be a good story. If you don't like Flashlight and don't want to check it out, then don't dislike it for the simple reason that you dislike Flashlight. It's childish at best, stupidity at worst. :facehoof:

-Spirit

Thanks for adopting this story. I can't to see this story update. Good luck. Thanks for rekindling hope.

Comment posted by C137 deleted Nov 5th, 2014

It was only when Flash had grown up a bit that Swift saw the obvious skill withing him.

Should that be "skill within"?

love the sroty so far!!!!!!!!!!:heart:

Is this based on Captain Fowler/ General Fowler (he is always changing his name lol)
Story?

5233278 Not based, it is the same story, he cancelled his and I took up the mantle.

5233328
Ah! So you're the one who he gave it to!
Well, looking forward to what happens! :3

Oh my Celestia! I cant wait for the next chapter! :pinkiehappy: :heart:

5233328 So when is the next chapter? Are you working on it now?

P.S. I have a view ideas if you want to hear.

oooh! don't keep me waiting to long! CLIFFHANGERS MAN CLIFFHANGERS:raritycry:

Sweet!!!! That was awesome. I do approve of this change. I can't wait for the next chapter. It's going to be so much fun.

OMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
I hate cliffhangers!':raritydespair:
good chapter though!:raritywink:

AWESOME CHAPTER!!!

I HATE CLIFFHANDERS!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

dunt Dunt DUUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!

Man that's fun to spell! :pinkiehappy:

Considering the majority of this chapter is your original work, Professor, I must now declare that my trust was well placed to hand the project off to you. You show particularly good diction and description, and I specifically thought the scene at the end of the chapter with Flash being deceived was well written and played out exactly as I had envisioned when I sent you the skeletal outline. Other than a few grammar hiccups which are expected with this volume of writing, I couldn't find much issue and am truly impressed. Keep up the good work, mate. I'll be checking in with this story as it updates, and must say I'm excited.

Good EVERYTHING. Blacking out is a good cliffhanger. But the wait is tiresome. :flutterrage::twilightangry2:

And thus, my screaming begins.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet. Thanks for wrapping up the Canterlot wedding. I wonder what is up next. Great job. I wonder if Shinning will be able to recall where he saw Flash one day. Probably not for a while.

Great chapter. So now they're warming up to each other.

Also, there were quite a few errors in this chapter, but they were nearly all of the same two mistakes, so I'll teach you about those. The first group of errors is that before you start any quotation, rather than putting a comma or period after the narration, you don't put anything. There should always be a period or comma, and the rules for this are a bit complicated. A rule of thumb is to always put a period, but there are exceptions.

"I am really thankful Flash," she said softly. "You saved my life, more than once."

Second, at the end of a quotation, if you have something like "Twilight said" or "Flash yelled" after it, instead of putting a period, put in a comma, unless the quotation contains a question mark or exclamation point in which case you put those. And along with this, you should not capitalise the "said" or "yelled" after the end of the quotation, unless it's a name, in which case of course it should be capitalised. And always capitalise the beginning of a quotation if that quotation is the beginning of a sentence.

Hope this helps!:twilightsmile:

Good chapter, even though it was short, I enjoyed it! Keep up the good work! :raritywink:

5338729

So say I did something like this:

"No, that's not right," she said "you have to do it like this."

Would that work? Or am I misunderstanding you?

5340596 You got the comma right, but there's more. "She said" should end in a period, since the next quotation is the beginning of a new sentence, and so the next quotation should also be capitalised.
"No, that's not right," she said. "You have to do it like this."
If the next quotation was the continuation of the original quotation's sentence:
"You have to do it like this," she said, "or like this."

5340872 You're quite welcome.:raritystarry: (Also, it's Thanks)

Not bad at all, Professor. Again, its as though you peered into my head and saw exactly my intent with my story, and then managed to top it. Well done.

That said, I'd just like to say you might want to tighten down on editing. There aren't enough errors that it ruins the chapter, but it was enough to distract a little.

Still, that's just a minor nit pick. Over all, great stuff. The parts with Flash and Twilight felt particularly genuine. I look forward to the next update.

I like it hope u finish it I want to know what happens next

Nice idea for this story. Having them go on tour may really help their budding romance. Also the fact that some crooks want to steal that necklace is priceless. I do hope one isn't Flash's brother. That would be quite shocking and horrible for him.

Getting a bit of reservoir dogs vibe at the end there. I really enjoyed this chapter, time skip was handled well enough although I would've liked to see the contents of a letter or two. The fort gives us a tiny bit of world building making the equestrian military more interesting, and giving flash a kick arse cape. The tour I am looking forward to, should give Twi and Flash plenty of time together in different environments with plenty of excitement from these colour coded ponies. I'm expecting the brother to show up at some point, involved in all of it. Wondering when Flash will reveal his real story to Twi, expecting it to happen a fair way down the ttack when they're closer together. Will be following this story closely, thanks for the enjoyable read!

5273390

Run for the hills.

I am the master of cliff hangers.

Plz finish love ur story funny how I got into it

i find it kind of messed up that flash is wearing leather

Beautifully penned as always, chap. I particularly liked the dig at rivalries between the basic training camps. As someone who grew up in Fort Benning, I hear that shit all the time from army grunts. Keep up the good work.

This is an amazing story so far, keep up the good work! I've really enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

Ohhhh my. That can't possibly be good.
Also, just re-pointing out what I did before, the mistakes with dialogue: Capitalise all dialogue sentences, even if there was non-dialogue before it.

"Hello," he began. "Hi."

Put a period after a non-dialogue sentence, even if there's dialogue after it. However, if the non-dialogue is in the middle of a sentence, put a comma at the end. Here's an example to clarify.

"This is an example," he continued. "This is the other part of that example," he added, "by the way."

"By the way" is part of the second sentence. However, since we have "he added" in the middle of those two parts of the same sentence, we put a comma after "he added" and don't capitalise the second part because it's not the beginning of a sentence.
Here's one example from the story, just to finish clarifying.

Flash nodded "a bit," he said "I hope I can get an explanation later on?"

That would become:

Flash nodded. "A bit," he said. "I hope I can get an explanation later on?"

Hopefully that explains it, so you won't make the mistakes again.:twilightsmile:

No offense, but I think you need a proofreader

The second I saw the fucking title and description I just fucking laughed.

So going to read this garbage

SWEET!!!!!! So Twi has a crush on Flash and she is scared about it. I wonder what Flash is going to do when he realizes the same. Great job with this chapter and thanks for the update. I'll be honest I wasn't expecting Lord Forest, or him being mean.

Hmm.... I had a weird dream where Twilight tortured Flash then he came back and then tied her up, put a gun to her forehead and said, "MY NAME, IS FLASH, SENTRY, AND I WILL HAVE, MY, REVENGE!" then shot her in the head, wow too much CoD >.> :pinkiecrazy:

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