"I— what—” Twilight stammered, staring up at Capt. Dash. A hundred things to say came to mind, but none of them could convey the feelings of frustration bubbling up inside her. Not that she had a chance to voice them anyway, as Rainbow Dash pulled her onto her hooves, still smiling from ear to ear.
“That was awesome!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash. “Talk about a great getaway. I have to admit, you’ve got some guts. Kicking that guy the way you did? Priceless. He didn’t know what hit him.”
“Awesome isn’t the word I’d use for it,” Twilight deadpanned, “dangerous, maybe, or stupid.”
Rainbow Dash sat down at the mast and put her hooves behind her head, relaxing with a smirk. “Aw, lighten up a little. You gotta look on the bright side.”
“Bright side!?” Twilight shouted, her voice rising a decibel. “What bright side? I was just chased across town—for reasons I still have yet to hear, I might add—while putting my safety in the hooves of a reckless pony I don’t even know, let alone trust. Where is the bright side in that?”
A tense silence fell over them. They held each others stares for what seemed like hours. Spike moved his gaze between the two, shifting nervously on his feet. He was the one that finally spoke. “Well, we got away from them. And we have a ride to Haven. That’s two things, right?”
Rainbow Dash nodded at him. “He’s got the right idea.”
“Don’t encourage her, Spike,” said Twilight. “Look, all I want is an explanation. But if I think this is going to come back to bite you in the flank, then I will ask you to turn around and drop me off at port.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Fine, you win,” she said. “I was at a bar last night with my first mate, Fluttershy—just to have a little fun, you know. It was fine for a while, but then those guys show up and started harassing the other customers. Eventually, I had enough, so I hit one of them.” Twilight nodded slowly; that explained the stallion’s black eye. “Of course,” Rainbow Dash continued, “it turned out they’re a part of Big Bronco’s crew. They’re known for being— violent towards ponies that cross them. Rumors say they might be smugglers, but there’s no proof of it. Don’t worry,” she quickly added when she saw the terrified look on Twilight’s face, “I don’t think they’ll follow us out to sea. And even if they did, they couldn’t catch us. My ship may be small, but she’s fast too.”
“You’re sure about that?” Twilight tried her best to hide the worry in her voice; after all, she’d hit that stallion too. She tried not to think about what would happen if she ran into them again.
“One-hundred percent. Well, maybe ninety. There’s no telling who you can run into out at sea.”
At least she’s honest, Twilight thought.
“So... are we staying, Twilight?” Spike asked.
She looked at her assistant, who stared at her with hopeful eyes. She sighed. “Yes, we’re staying. It isn’t like anypony else is lining up to take us, anyway.”
“Awesome,” Rainbow Dash said, the slightest of smiles returning to her face. “I’ll let the rest of the crew know. Follow me.”
She trotted up a small flight of stairs leading towards the ship’s stern, Twilight and Spike following close behind. When they reached the top of the steps, they noticed just how far away they’d gotten from port. Already the ship was leaving the cove that housed the city of Baltimare. Rainbow Dash was right; the ship was fast.
Despite the day’s events weighing on her mind, Twilight smiled. It had been a lot of trouble, but she’d managed to secure passage, and the journey had begun. Her spirits picked up at the thought. Those she hired were less than professional, for sure, but they seemed kind enough.
Twilight turned to take her first real look at the ship. It was small, even for a caravel, with only two lateen sails instead of three. The main mast was in the center of the deck and had a small rope ladder leading up to the crow’s nest. Lanyards attached the triangular sails to the bulwarks of the boat, while rope rigging stretched up to the mastheads. None of it looked like it was in need of repair, which Twilight found reassuring. However, she questioned why the deck seemed deserted; there wasn’t a single crew member in sight.
She returned her attention to Rainbow Dash, who had made her way over to the helm. Operating the large, wooden wheel was the yellow pegasus Twilight had seen before. Her long, pink mane covered half of her face, and her teal eyes were glued to the sea in front of them until Rainbow Dash walked over.
“Fluttershy,” she said as Twilight trotted towards them, “this is Twilight Sparkle and Spike. Twilight Sparkle and Spike, Fluttershy. As I mentioned before, she is my first mate.”
“A pleasure to meet you,” said Twilight.
“Hi,” Spike said at the same time.
Fluttershy looked both of them over, especially Spike. “H-hello,”she said, and then turned towards Rainbow Dash. “So, um... where are we taking them?”
“To an island called Haven on the Forgotten Sea,” responded Rainbow Dash.
Fluttershy froze, her eyes going wide as she stared disbelievingly at them. She looked absolutely mortified, almost like she had a heart attack right then and there. If it weren’t for the fact that she was still as stone, Twilight might have thought that was the case.
“Is she gonna be okay?” Spike asked.
Rainbow Dash yawned deeply and rubbed her eyes. “Yeah. Just let it sink in.”
Fluttershy started trembling and edged away, stealing glances back at port. Twilight wondered for a moment if the frightened pegasus was really thinking of trying to making a break for the shoreline. It was obvious she didn’t want to sail into such ominous waters.. She bit her lip and swallowed. “D-D-Dash? Are we really, um...going to the Forgotten Sea?”
“That’s right.”
“Y-you know how dangerous it will be, right?”
“Quit worrying so much, Flutters,” said Rainbow Dash, lightly smacking Fluttershy’s back, “we’ll be just fine. Besides, you haven’t heard how much they’re paying us. Come on, let’s tell the rest of the crew.”
Fluttershy was still shaking but nodded slowly, and the two trotted over to a small bell that was hanging from a wooden post near the edge of the stern, Twilight and Spike following shortly after. When they approached, Rainbow Dash began ringing the bell, yelling, “All hooves on deck!”
Twilight then turned her attention to the ponies that had gathered on the deck below them, and her mouth dropped at their numbers, or lack thereof. There were only three ponies there, two of whom she had already met before: Applejack and Rarity. The third was a pink earth pony, with a curly mane and tail that seemed to poof out in every direction. A black sailors belt was wrapped around her midsection. She was staring up at them, bouncing excitedly from hoof to hoof.
“Is this really everypony?” Twilight whispered to Fluttershy.
“Yes.”
“Why is your crew so small?” She tried hard to conceal the aggravation in her voice, but some slipped out.
“I’m sorry,” squeaked Fluttershy, “b-but we don’t need anypony else. The ship is small, so...”
“Alright, crew!” shouted Rainbow Dash, interrupting them. “Good news—we’ve got a job. This here is Twilight Sparkle, personal student to Princess Celestia, and this her companion Spike. They’ve been sent by the Princess to join an expedition that discovered ruins on an island in the Forgotten Sea. We’re the ones that are gonna take them there. The journey is going to take six months—”
“Hold on a moment,” Rarity interjected. “Did you just say the Forgotten Sea? As in the one past Eternity’s Crossing?”
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes at her crew member. “Is there a problem?” she asked, almost as a dare.
“Of course there is!” Rarity snapped back, stomping a hoof down. “Haven’t you heard what happens to ponies that try to sail on that sea?”
“I haven’t,” said Applejack. Everypony turned to stare at her, dumbfounded. Even Twilight, who was far removed from the superstitions, couldn’t help but wonder what rock this pony had been living under all her life. “What?” Applejack asked defensively. “I grew up on a farm, remember? We didn’t have time for all yer sailor stories.”
“It’s a sea of nightmares,” Rarity explained. “I’ve heard that it’s blanketed by a fog so thick that you won’t even be able to see your crewmates around you. You lose all sense of direction and sail endlessly, until all your food is gone and you starve to death. That’s if the storms don’t sink your ship first.”
“Don’t forget the monsters,” said the pink earth pony. She’d begun bouncing up and down excitedly and seemed to be smiling, though about what Twilight couldn’t guess. “You should never forget the monsters.”
“Sounds like a bunch of hooey to me,” mumbled Applejack.
That’s because it is, Twilight thought.
“Regardless of what’s true and what isn’t,” Rainbow Dash shouted, “the fact of the matter is that we’re being paid two-thousand bits for this service. That means a four-hundred bit cut for each of us.”
The crew looked stunned. Even Rarity, who was so against the idea at first, backed down. Applejack was the first to recover. “Well, shoot,” she said with a smirk, “count me in. I’d knock on the gates of Tartarus for that kinda cash.”
“Good,” Rainbow Dash continued. “That’s what I like to hear. So lets get moving. Fluttershy, you take the helm again and set a course for the east. The rest of you, return to your posts.”
“Aye, Captain,” shouted all the crew members before rushing off to their stations.
“As for you two,” said Rainbow Dash, turning to face Twilight and Spike, “there’s a cabin for passengers below deck. Just head down those stairs and make a left.” She indicated towards a square hatch on the deck that led to the underbelly of the ship. “There’s a desk if you need it, and a chest to store your things. I’ll be up here if you need me.”
With that, she trotted towards Fluttershy at the helm. Twilight looked at Spike, who had been following Rarity with his eyes ever since he’d seen her. “So,” said Twilight, “want to go check out our room?”
“What?” asked Spike, his attention snapping back to her. “Oh. Yeah, sure.”
Twilight rolled her eyes and walked down the stairs to the lower deck. Spike followed, and together the two headed below deck. They found themselves in a wide room, most likely the hold, that was almost empty. A few barrels were strewn against the walls here and there, but nothing else.
“Is it supposed to be this spacious?” Spike asked.
“I’m not sure. They must not have any cargo, or something...” mumbled Twilight. She stole a glance to her left and saw the cabin Rainbow Dash had mentioned. Its doorway was covered by a long, thin piece of cloth hanging from a rope. “That must be our room.”
Pushing aside the cloth, they headed in. It was smaller than Twilight would have liked, but she hadn’t been expecting much. Pushed into the far left corner was a desk, just as Rainbow Dash had said. A porthole was above it, offering a small view of the sea. The bed, a simple frame filled with hay and covered by sheets, was on the other side of the room against the right wall, and a chest rested on the floor next to the headboard.
Twilight trotted over to the chest, opening it with a spell. She began pulling things from her saddlebags, starting with the bag of bits. She placed it inside, followed by several books. The fiction novels were separated from the study books. Finally, she undid the clasp of her cloak, folded it as neatly as she could, and set it inside. She ran a hoof over it before closing the lid.
Levitating the final items out of her saddlebags—a bottled ink jar, a quill, and several leafs of loose paper—Twilight went over to the desk and placed them on its surface. “Spike,” she said, “could you write a letter to the Princess?” Several seconds passed without a response. Twilight frowned. “Spike?”
She turned around, only to see that the baby dragon was nowhere to be found. The room was too cramped for him to be hiding anywhere, so she poked her head out from behind the cloth. He wasn’t in the hold either. Twilight sighed. He must’ve snuck off to explore the ship. “Spike!” she called out. “Where’d you go?”
No response came. “Lost him twice in a single day...” Twilight grumbled to herself as she walked to the center of the hold. There was a couple other rooms he could be in, so she decided to check them out. One of them was empty, just like the hold, but then she stumbled across what looked like the crew’s quarters. Several rope hammocks hung from the ceiling, and four more chests were pushed against the walls. A quick inspection revealed that Spike wasn’t there. When Twilight turned to leave, though, she found herself staring straight into the light blue eyes of the pink earth pony from earlier, who was wearing the widest grin she’d ever seen.
“Hiya!” said the pony.
Twilight cried out in surprise and stumbled backwards, landing hard on her flank. The other mare began laughing hysterically. She quieted a little when she saw Twilight narrow her eyes, but a slight giggle remained. “I’m sorry,” she said, “but the look on your face was hilarious.”
“Was there something you needed?” asked Twilight irritably, picking herself up off the floor and rubbing her hurting backside.
If the other mare noticed, though, she didn’t show it. “Not really. Just thought I’d pop down and say hi. You’ve already met everypony else so I thought I’d introduce myself. I’m Pinkie Pie.”
Before Twilight even had a chance to react, Pinkie grappled her into a bear hug. Twilight could feel the air being squeezed from her lungs. “It’s nice to meet you,” she wheezed, “but could you please let me go?”
“It’s nice to meet you, too,” replied Pinkie, setting Twilight back down. “Your name is Twilight Sparkle, right? Do you mind if I just call you Twi?”
“No, please don’t,” Twilight said. She was still trying to gather her breath. “I’d prefer if you call me Ms. Sparkle.”
“Okey dokey lokey, Ms. Sparkle. Hey, didn’t you have some big lizard with you before?”
“You mean Spike. And he’s a baby dragon.”
The smile, which Twilight was beginning to think was permanently affixed to her face, disappeared. It was replaced by a look of total awe. “Wow. That’s so cool! The Princess’ student and you have a baby dragon? You must be a really talented pony.”
“Not really,” Twilight said forlornly, pushing past Pinkie and stepping back into the hold, “I still have a lot of things to learn.”
“But you’re probably really good at magic. If you’re the Princess’ student, I mean.”
Twilight’s gaze fell to the floor. “I-I’m not, really...” You’re wrong, she wanted to say. She put on her best fake smile and turned to Pinkie. “Say, Pinkie Pie?” she asked.
“Yes?”
“Would you mind doing me a favor? I need Spike’s help with something, but he wandered off somewhere on the ship. I was just looking for him. If you happen to see him, could you let me know? You don’t have to search, just keep an eye out.”
“Absolutely!”
Before Twilight could thank her, Pinkie rushed up to the deck, leaving behind the slight scent of sugar and baked sweets. Twilight would’ve questioned why a sailor smelled like that, but she was too busy fighting off the exhaustion she was suddenly feeling. That one’s going to be tiresome to deal with, she thought. Talked to her for all of five minutes and now I want to take a nap.
Having searched the stern end of the hold, Twilight made her way towards the bow. She passed a couple rooms, one of which looked like a saloon area, before stopping to stare at one in particular. Unlike the other rooms branching off from the hold, this one was separated by a door. A small, metal plaque was nailed onto the door, with words reading “Captain’s Quarters” written on it.
Twilight frowned. Aren’t the captain’s quarters usually above deck? Then another thought dawned on her. Did Spike sneak in there? She wouldn’t put it past his curiosity. Just as she was about to open the door, though, a loud bang came from further ahead, followed by a shout.
“Darn it all!”
Raising an eyebrow, Twilight followed the noise to its source: a room at the very end of the hold. Poking her head in, she saw that it was the galley. Applejack was in the middle of the kitchen, sitting back on her haunches while rubbing one of her forehooves slowly. The remains of what seemed to be an apple pie were spilled on the wood floor.
“Are you okay?” asked Twilight, stepping into the room.
Applejack snapped her eyes to Twilight, obviously surprised by her presence. They softened immediately after and she chuckled lightly. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just burned myself a little is all. But what about you, subarcube? Yer lookin a little under the weather. Gettin’ seasick?”
“No,” Twilight said. “I just met Pinkie Pie.”
Applejack smiled knowingly, nodding her head. “She’s a talker, that one. Sometimes I wonder if it’s sugar running through her veins instead of blood. She’ll grow on ya, though. That smile can be contagious.” She stood up, taking care not to put too much pressure on her injured hoof. “Ever since she joined the crew two months back, she’s always wearin that goofy grin o’ hers.”
“Wait, what did you say? She’s only been on the crew for two months?”
“Yep. Why? Is that a problem?”
“Well... no. I just hope she has enough experience for this trip.”
Applejack blinked at her, the confusion obvious on her face. “Sugarcube... we’re all inexperienced. This is our ship’s maiden voyage.”
Twilight’s legs almost buckled under her. If it weren’t for the fact that she’d gone stock still, they probably would have. “Of course it is,” she said with no emotion. “This is just perfect.”
“Hey, now. Everypony’s gotta start somewhere. Pinkie’s a good navigator—”
“She’s the navigator?!” wailed Twilight.
“—and the Captain and Fluttershy have been living most of their lives on the seas. Don’t fret so much. We’ll get you to where you’re going.” Applejack began cleaning up the mess on the floor. “Speakin’ of which, where exactly are you headed?”
“The island is called Haven” Twilight said with a sigh. She made a mental note to discuss these new details with Capt. Dash later. “It’s the first island ever discovered on the Forgotten Sea.”
“And they discovered ruins on this here island? You goin’ there to help out or somethin’?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” asked Applejack.
Twilight blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Well it’s gonna be a pretty dangerous trip. I’m just wonderin’ why the Princess would send her personal student knowing that. There’s gotta be a reason.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes at Applejack. She’s pretty sharp. “That’s my business.”
Applejack stared at her, no doubt detecting the small edge in her words. “Fair enough. I’m sorry if I offended ya or somethin’. Just tryin’ to figure out the reasonin’ behind yer trip.”
Holding the remains of the apple pie in one hoof, she trotted over to a porthole in the wall. She made like she was going to throw it out the small, circular window, but just then the ship crested a large wave. Applejack lost her balance, causing her to slip and faceplant right into the pie. Any remaining tension in the room dissolved. Twilight snickered quietly, and even Applejack laughed a little.
“Well, this is mighty embarrassin’,” she said, wiping the food off of her face.
“You don’t seem like the sailing type, if you don’t mind my saying,” Twilight said with a small smile touching her lips.
“Yer absolutely right,” replied Applejack, picking up the ruined pie and tossing it out the porthole. “As ya probably heard, I grew up on a farm. The sea is about as far away from that as ya can get.”
“What made you decide to join a crew, then?”
“Well, I could tell ya,” Applejack turned back to face Twilight with a smirk, “but ya see, that’s my business.”
“Touché,” replied Twilight.
“Bless you.”
Twilight shook her head. “Hey, has Spike been back here?” she asked, changing the subject. “I need his help but he disappeared on me.”
“I haven’t seen ‘im...”
“Hey, Ms. Sparkle!” Pinkie’s voice echoed through the hold. “I found him! He’s talking with Rarity on the deck!”
“... but it looks like she has,” Applejack continued.
Twilight nodded. “Thank you!” she shouted back.
“No problem!” Pinkie was suddenly right next to her, grinning. Twilight jumped in surprise. “Hello again. Hey Applejack. When is dinner going to be ready? I’m starving right now.”
“It’ll be awhile yet, sugarcube. I just botched the first meal. Looks like we’re havin’ sandwiches or somethin’.”
Twilight watched the two ponies talk before remembering Spike. She turned and made her way through the hold and up the stairs. When she emerged from the hatch, her mane started flowing in the breeze. She hadn’t noticed how windy being on a boat was until now.
Her eyes scanned the deck for Spike, eventually finding him near the prow. Sure enough, he was talking with Rarity. She trotted over to them. When Spike saw her, his face fell, obviously thinking he was in trouble. As Twilight approached he started to say, “I’m sorry, Twilight, but I just—”
She silenced him by placing a hoof over his mouth. “I’m not mad at you,” she explained. “Just let me know when you go exploring next time.” She looked to Rarity. “I’m sorry if he’s been bugging you.”
“Oh, nonsense,” replied Rarity, shaking her head dismissively. “He’s been very good company. As a matter of fact, he was just telling me what life in Canterlot is like. Is it true that you live in the castle?”
Spike winced when Twilight shot him a look. “Yes,” she answered. “We do.”
“So you get to see the Princess quite often, then?”
Twilight shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. At least, more so than other ponies. I spend a lot of my time in the library though.”
Rarity smiled, her eyes sparkling. “That sounds glamorous. I’ve always wanted to live in Canterlot. It would be absolute paradise. The buildings, the townsfolk, the parties... it seems so high-class.”
“I... guess it is,” mumbled Twilight. “If you like it so much, why don’t you just move there? Why work on a ship instead?”
Rarity raised an eyebrow at Twilight. “You should know. It takes a small fortune to buy a house in Canterlot. And all the money I earned from my previous occupation always went to a... third party. Right now, I don’t have a penny to my name. I’m lucky that the Captain decided to hire me. I’m being paid quite generously for my role on the crew.”
“And what role would that be?” Twilight asked, now curious.
For the slightest of seconds, Rarity frowned sadly. It disappeared so quickly, though, that Twilight disregarded it as her eyes playing tricks on her. “Let’s just say that I’m to act as a... deterrent.” The confusion on Twilight’s face must have been obvious, as Rarity continued, “Don’t worry about it too much, darling. If we’re really lucky, you won’t have to see me do my job during the journey.”
“Speaking of which, you don’t really seem too keen on the whole thing.”
“Would you be? I’ve traveled a lot in my life, but nowhere is as mysterious as the Forgotten Sea. The stories you hear about that place are enough to chill the blood.”
Twilight scoffed. “Too bad they’re all made up.”
“And what proof do you have of that?” Rarity asked, more inquisitive than angry. “Have you been there before?”
“No, but I can say the same thing to you. Can you prove all those stories are true?”
“Look,” said Rarity, “we can argue our points all day long and still be nowhere. The truth of the matter is that we’re going there regardless of what I think. And while I do have my reservations, I do believe that the Captain will get us to our destination safely. Let’s just leave it at that, shall we?”
“Agreed. Now, can I borrow this one for a minute?” Twilight asked, indicating to Spike. “I need his help with something.
“Of course, darling.” Rarity turned her head to look at Spike with a smile. “It was lovely talking with you, Spike.”
A grin nearly as big as Pinkie’s broke out on his face. “The same to you,” he said.
“Come on, Romeo,” Twilight whispered to him, nudging him towards the hatch.
It took a moment for her words to register while he was in his trance, but Spike eventually looked at her and nodded. When they were out of earshot from Rarity, he said, “Did you hear that? I’m lovely to talk to.”
Twilight rolled her eyes, but a small smile still creeped onto her face. “Sure you are.”
“Hey, it’s true! She really liked my stories about Canterlot.”
“Okay, but could you not talk about our personal lives so much?” she asked as she began walking down the stairs.
Spike stopped at the top of them, scratching his head in confusion. “Why can’t I?”
“Spike, we aren’t here to make friends with these ponies. Our relationship with them should remain strictly professional.”
“Why?” he asked, rushing down the steps to catch up with her. Together, they entered their cabin.
“Just... because,” said Twilight. “Now, we need to send a letter to the Princess regarding our progress.”
“Alright,” Spike mumbled.
As he climbed up into the chair at the desk, Twilight cleared her throat. “Dear Princess Celestia,” she began.
It is with great happiness that I write to inform you that Spike and I have officially begun our journey to Haven. It wasn’t as easy as I had hoped. Most ships refused to take us on board after learning our destination. However, we managed to secure passage on a small caravel that is captained by one Rainbow Dash. I’m grateful for her help, but there are several things that make me question whether deciding to hire her was the right choice...
Firstly, there is the matter of her professionalism. When we met with her, she was being searched for by members of another crew with whom she had picked a fight. They found her when we were making our dealings, and consequently we had to make a quick getaway on her ship. She’s already proven to be reckless, and doesn’t seem to think her actions through.
Second, this is the very first voyage for her and the crew. I can’t tell you how well they are able to sail it as of now, but I fear that they may not be experienced enough for this long of a journey.
Regardless, I’ve already agreed to pay them, so I’m stuck whether I like it or not. I’ll be sure to write you a letter if anything significant occurs.
Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle
Spike rolled up the letter just as he finished. With a deep breath, he released a gout of green flame from his mouth. The scroll burned up in the fire, its ashes flying out the porthole. Twilight watched it go, then turned and walked towards the bed. Pulling the sheets back, she laid down on her side. Not very comfortable, she thought with a sigh. Though I probably shouldn't expect more.
“What’re you doing, Twilight?” Spike asked.
“Going to sleep,” she answered. “I’m exhausted.”
“Oh. Well, in that case, can I... umm...”
Twilight smiled to herself. “Yes, you can go look around some more. Just try not to get in anypony’s way. And Spike,” she added as he began walking out, “if they ask about dinner, just tell them I’m not hungry.”
“Okay,” he replied, and stepped out of the cabin.
Twilight welcomed the silence left in his wake. All day she had been frantically running around and dealing with other ponies. Her legs were sore from exertion and her mind felt equally taxed. But now, just lying there, listening to the waves lap rhythmically against the hull, she allowed herself to relax. She closed her eyes, and sleep soon overcame her.
Your baiting me...and I LOVE IT!!
Keep this pacing its great!
worth the wait! Hope updates come faster though
This can only end well!
Lovely! If there's one thing I'm always up for, it's ponies on sea voyages, and this is shaping up to be a very interesting one! Keep it up!
man, i can't wait to have them see their first sea monster!
Why do I get the feeling that Rarity's job is similar to Inara's from Firefly?
2624584 ... Pinkie's public relations, then
Nice work! I'm loving this story so far. Keep it up!
ah, pardon me, twilight; far be it from me to correct you on the proper usage of words, but, um, if they are eking a living off of it, then that makes it their profession. and by that token, they are thereby...well...professionals.
This is awesome. Why does this work so well? We'll never know.
hmmm... a deterrent. is rarity a weather worker? I just remember stories of sailors hiring witches to stand on the prows of ships and ward off bad weather and storms and rough seas. is that her role?
2627174
That's a secret
This story is amazing. It was only a matter of time before someone combined my two favorite things, ponies and sailing ships. Need more updates!
2627738 ohhh, you bastard. now im curious.
2628910
It wouldn't be any fun if I just told you Don't worry, you'll get a better idea of her role in the next couple chapters.
Also, in case you guys missed it in the Author's Notes, I have some really exciting news that you can check out on my newest blog post. Spread the word to other people who you know have read the story.
2627174>>2627738>>2628910
I say Rarity's there to very bloodily kill pirates.
As much as I love this story, I feel the need to add a point of criticism: AJ's accent. Specifically, spelling "I" as "Ah" (and to a lesser extent, spelling "my" as "mah""). Maybe it's a personal thing, but to me this looks very awkward. Iunno.
That said, this is still one of my favourite stories, and I can't wait to see what kind of adversity our heroes will face.
2632579
I know a lot of readers are divided on this. Some like it and some don't. I'm of the former opinion, unfortunately I think that dialect is important in a story.
2630431 well. so glad to see you're having fun about this. fills me with the warm and fuzzies, it does.
no, its ok. just messing with you. but keep the chapters coming! I like nautical tales and ponies; its a good mix. im actually wondering why we haven't seen any nautical ponies in the show.
This is shaping up to be a great story, and a really awesome way to quench my thirst for mane-six-as-crew-ponies adventures, since Upon a Falling Feather hasn't updated in a while.
I really like the pacing you've set, taking your time to tease at all of the characters' backgrounds. I hope you'll keep that up and let the bonds between Twilight and the others grow slowly. After all, this is the bitter, antisocial, cast-out-by-Celestia, I-don't-need-any-friends Twilight, and I love how you've portrayed her. She doesn't smile much, and it's just a spur of the moment thing when she does—or because of Spike. She keeps everyone at arm's length and cuts off any attempt at social interaction.
I'll be glad if you ease her into the whole friendship thing, and don't make it an instantaneous upgrade, like in the show's opening. That went so fast from "I'll reluctantly let these five strangers tag along" to "We're so friendly, we are now the incarnations of the highest form of friendship" that it was a bit hard to swallow.
Although, I'm sure the whole Adventure part of the story will rear its head soon, and they'll find themselves in some form of trouble. I'll be looking forward to that too
2632593
Dialect is important, the only issue is she slurs, but not THAT badly compared to some ive heard. When you write out "mah" it sounds like 100% bad, unintelligent english when shes speaking. Typing out "mah" or "Ah", makes her sound completely stupid sometimes, but when speaking shes pretty normal.
You can easily get away with typing normally, as long as you phrase her sentences to be a bit southern (contractions, ain't, etc)..because that is normal to me
In other news, I really like how you are handling this and I really want to see this through to the end I really hope all the characters really bond, because right now its obvious theres very little friendship going on here...just a business transaction with a purple unicorn who isnt trusting of them much!
2635157>>2635670
These comments were honestly the best thing I could have woken up to. They made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Thanks
Super stuff. This line totally made the chapter for me:
“Sugarcube... we’re all inexperienced. This is our ship’s maiden voyage.”
I loled on the city bus...
In any case, your characterization is spot on - I can hear their voices in my head as I am reading. Well done.
Can't wait for more, breathing in the salty air, sailing on the open sea with my ponies. :D
2635670
I'll disagree somewhat on the Ah/I mah/my thing. It is apparently working alright for me, as it didn't stick out while I was reading. I actually had to go back to see what it actually looked like. :D
2639528
It never really sticks out to me. Its just somewhat my opinion of the matter. I really dont mind if someone wants to spell out the drawl, but its not 100% necessary since im sure every one of us know how AJ sounds when she speaks due to the show. If a fresh reader just read the drawl spelled out like that, it could lead to some poor conclusions.
2626617
Not sure if you're being sarcastic or not. If not, I would make the argument that just because someone makes a living off of something, it doesn't mean they are professional at it. Take me for example: my job involves making parts for cars, but I couldn't tell you what they do, where they go or how they work even if you held a gun to my head.
And then we have the unprofessional professionals, which in this case would be Rainbow Dash and her crew (but even then I'd hesitate to call them professionals, considering it's their first voyage). Basically the word professional means two things here: 1. A person who is good at their job, and 2. conducting oneself politely and in an appropriate manner. While the crew may be the former, in Twilight's eyes they are nowhere near the latter.
2667259 when I made the comment, I was being slightly sarcastic in my criticism of twilight's word choice, as she should realize that the crew, while inexpert, is professional. imo the term professional does not refer to someone who is expert by any means, it just means that they are making money off of it. the term is only synonymous to "expert" because one would assume that someone who was good enough at what they do to fund a lifestyle with it must be very good at it indeed. for example, professional sports. when taken in its most base sense, "professional" is a different thing entirely than what we all know it as today. so, technically, though you have no idea what those car parts are supposed to be doing, you, too, are a "professional", at least under that interpretation. if your main source of income is working the grill at mcdonalds, then you are a "professional" burger flipper. if your main source of income is playing an instrument or writing songs, then you are a "professional" musician. see what im gettin' at?
because in professional sports, the players compete for money, they can be considered under this interpretation. but in the eyes of the public, the players aren't known for their paychecks, they are known for their expertise in their sport. so the term "professional" may or may not have come to mean something else because of this fact, given how many people watch professional sports...? I dunno. just my theory on how the word might have changed meaning. take it or leave it. or, the third road is to take none of it and consider this entire reply bullshit. its practically all headcanon. a quick check on the history of the term may prove me totally off mark.
2635157 wait, there is another nautical pony adventure taking place somewhere?!?!
AVAST, YE SCALLYWAGS! WE HAVE OUR HEADING! SET THE COURSE AND PREPARE TO RAISE ANCHOR! FULL SAIL AHEAD!!!!!!!!
2672372
Upon a Falling Feather takes place on a skyship, not the high seas. Of course, I think that's more awesome than a regular boat. The concept of Skyships have always fascinated me.
And I think it pretty much boils down to the fact that we just have different interpretations of the word
2675393 skyships?!?!
skyships are INCREDIBLY AWESOME OMGOMGOMGOMG! im sorry for my happy-gasm but the idea of skyships is awesome. the whole three-dimensional element combined with the standard complex workings of the crew and the world the crew interacts with, and the amalgamation of ways one can have a skyship actually PERATE, and all the possibilities that could unfold with the fact that pegasi are able to fly, and the concept that there may be pirates...OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!
im SO reading that later!
I'm lovin' this story so far. I've always thought pirates/sailors were the coolest thing ever, and finally theres an mlp fanfic about them that I'm actually enjoying. Your writing style is entertaining and keeps my eyes glued to the screen while I'm reading. I'm desperately awaiting the next update(hope its soon!). Keep up the good work.
2891958
Your comment actually gives me a chance to address the issue of when it will be updated (though I doubt people will actually read this).
I like to take a break after uploading a new chapter. Usually around a week. But after uploading chapter 2, I got slammed by real life. My work hours suddenly doubled, and I even have to run errands for work on my day off sometimes. I thought I got a handle on it and was ready to start writing, but then I had to go to Trotcon. Don't get me wrong, it was awesome, but I couldn't actually write anything there, so...
After I got back, I started hanging out with a good friend of mine a lot more, considering he's shipping off to the marines very soon. Then, finally, I got some major work done on Chapter 3. Right now it's about 4500 words in and (somewhat) close to the end. The update will come soon, but maybe not as soon as it possibly could. See, I applied for a writing position in "Legends of Equestria". If I pass the first round of auditions, I have a week to write a short story within a set of given parameters. So I'll be focused on that for a bit. If I pass the second round of auditions and become a writer on the project, I don't think I'll have much time to continue this story Not that i won't try my damnedest to. I love writing this story and don't want to stop anytime soon. At the very least, I'll give you guys chapter 3 before moving this down on my list of priorities.