Chapter 2: The Think Walk
Time to go
Chapter 2
The Think Walk
It was time to go, and so he started walking. He knew where he was going but that didn't matter, he decided it was the walk there that he really needed.
“If only there was somewhere I could go that would take longer to walk to.” He thought. “Then I could really get some thinking done.”
The measly two blocks to the church had no real effect on how much he thought about, but what he wanted was time to sort it out instead. Trust me, he had a lot to think about.
Well who was he anyways? He was white, only slightly tan, 5' 11'', 170 pounds. His hair was a deep dirty blond and it was long enough to reach his nose and the base of his neck. This usually meant that his eyes were covered or out of sight. This was a real shame, because he had largely unique eyes. The deep poetic green of his corneas changed it's strength throughout the day, and always seemed fullest the more sleep he had. His face always seemed to frown, but he wasn't sad exactly, that was just his face. Maybe his face portrayed deeper emotions, not even he knew existed. Or maybe it was all the contemplation throughout his lifetime that had made his face this way. Whenever somebody talked to him he always tried his hardest to treat them with the respect they deserved. Even total strangers were given the benefit of the doubt.
He was an average teenager who almost always sported a gray hoodie that proudly stated “Class of 2014” across his chest, and whose sleeves were tattered. Underneath this he wore a sporty under armor type apparel that had his last name on the back from when he had run track, and underneath that was one of the many silly T-shirts that he owned. Today's was a slogan for a university that said “Procrastination University, training tomorrow's leaders, tomorrow... Or maybe the next day” He almost always had his Ipod with him, and in turn headphones plugged into his ear. Always listening to some kind of rock, or oldies, that no teenager in his class would have heard of in years or at all.
He was Hunter. A name he preferred, over his real one. It symbolized a kind of, prowess, an ability to sense certain things. He liked that idea, it also made for a great video game name. Oh the noobs he pwned under that name,
“I must have quite the legacy” he thought “psh, yeah right, to myself maybe.”
He was also quiet, reserved, polite and respectful, but when he was surrounded by people he liked, or even loved. He became a different person. He was still polite and respectful, in fact those qualities were what he liked to think were the core of his being, but he became fun, a joker, crazy even. He became comfortable around people fast, and opened up more than he would have liked sometimes.
He stopped as he realized that his shoelaces had come undone on his right foot, and he stooped to tie them. When he finished, he stood up and began walking with a renewed vigor. He was a gamer, and his favorites included Halo, Starcraft, and Portal. He was in many a fandom. He enjoyed Dr. Who, and oh so many Anime, and he laughed at the silly comics and pictures that were plastered all over the internet. Except when it was about how stupid people were. His faith in humanity was lost at this point, and they only served to prove his point on how lost their society was.
But there was one fandom he was never really sure he understood. Not that he didn't get the people, or their amazing creations, but he never really understood quite what gripped him. This fandom was of course, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. He had seen his friends who loved the show, and had thought that, while he respected their life choices, they were kind of childish. He saw one day that the show was on Netflix whilst showing videos of Blue's Clue's to his cousin who had come to visit, and sometime later thought he should see what all the hype was about.
The first episode he took with a grain of salt, as all he really wanted, was to watch the show from an un-bias perspective. Sure it was a kid show, so the dialogue wasn't inspiring, but it wasn't exactly mind numbing stuff. It was actually engaging. The characters weren't shabby, they were rightfully defined. Sometimes this irritated him, as in the form of Rarity who never seemed to get comfortable around all things dirty, but as the show progressed he learned that without her, things would suck. He began to get into it, their silly little problems, and then the not so silly ones, the interesting side characters that seemed to crop up only ever so slightly, just to be hopped upon by fans and made into individuals with stories of their own.
As he watched the show so did he watch the creations of the fans, they intrigued him, a show that was meant for little eight year old girls, would be the start of what seemed to be a revolution of thought, and inspiration. The creations he fell in love with, were just as perfect as the show itself and so he joined the herd, he became a “Brony”
So he was Hunter, average high schooler, with an average amount of friends, and an average grade average, and a Brony. Before he knew it he was at the doors of the Church. He went to church and he believed, but there was always doubt it seemed. He walked in expecting scouts, and other teens to be walking it's halls beginning their own activities, but it was empty. The doors were unlocked for one man doing his church duties in a far off office, but other than that the hallways were dark.
Public places always looked interesting, thought provoking even, when they were empty and dark. He decided that since the plan was apparently canceled for today, he might as well get some more thinking done, so he started off wandering the halls of the church.
My Little Pony. He had seen advertisements as a kid and had merely shrugged them off as silly girl toys. Girl toys. That was the biggest problem. Every time he watched the show or took part in some fan's creation online, he was worried that somehow one of his friends would find out, and his masculinity would be brought into question.
That didn't really matter though, if they did find out and called him gay, it wouldn't be true. He was too in love with girls for that to happen. Yet he always thought that his reputation would be messed up.
“Reputation as what? Not like I'm the manliest hunk of meat presented on a silver platter” He thought to himself.
It was true. He wasn't exactly chiseled. The ladies were lost on him. He had a girlfriend once, and it was in middle school where kissing was taking it pretty far, but he moved and that ended. His only Highschool girlfriend was the one he messed up on. He was just not good at being romantic in the least. So he decided that this would have to wait. Hopefully not forever, just until the people he dated weren't crazy on hormones. Now he really only had one love. It seemed really creepy when he thought about it, but he loved the characters in the show. They way they acted so frivolously and without care, and yet only in the case of fanfictions did relationships become serious no matter the combination.
It seemed that their problems were so distant from the realities that gripped the modern world.
“Such a world would be nice, there wouldn't be a religion, just knowledge that Celestia and Luna move the sun and the moon. Knowledge, pure fact, an Atheists dream.” He wasn't an Atheist himself, but he enjoyed the idea.
The society of ponies seemed very capitalistic in his opinion. Ponies, like Applejack, sold what they made, or grew, and their destinies were made out on their flanks. It seemed kind of condemning that a pony should be made to do whatever was put in their cutie marks, but this was a dumb idea, considering that whatever it was, was some thing that they loved doing.
Hunter found it surprising that ponies would have cutie marks for the more undesirable jobs, like garbage collection and disposal, but he soon thought that this could just be their job, and their cutie mark might actually be some kind of hobby.
"Pity for the ponies who actually do have Garbage disposal cutie marks then" Hunter thought, which was immediately dismissed by the "but they like doing it" argument, but it still seemed kinda sad.
Hunter realized that he had been walking in the same loop of a hall, for like twenty minutes. He found himself in front of the door out, however, and immediately exited, for fear that the man in the office he had surely passed many times would do something drastic.
Their society just seemed so perfect, no wars, no real problems with disease, and they certainly seemed to have world hunger figured out. If only there was a way to get there, then his dreams would come true. He would meet the mane six and then some, he would be friends, he would help them in their adventures.
He would be a gray alicorn with a flowing golden mane with streaks of white that would shine prominently in the sun. His cutie mark would be three pine trees lined up, as if taken from a forest. Would this make him a prince of some kind? He didn't want to be any kind of royalty, he just wanted to fly and have magic. He would be the fastest Alicorn in Equestria, He would achieve this using magic, his spells parting the air in front of him, making wind resistance almost non existent.
Just so that he wouldn't ruin Rainbow's reputation if he beat her in a race, at least, magic is what he would chalk it up to. He would have to see, but he doubted it, she was able to make a sonic rainboom, and from what he'd learned from yet another fan comic, that was some pretty intense speed. Of course a dream like this would never come true, the world he longed for never existed, and it never would, it was merely another device for someone to get their next paycheck, and possibly for Lauren Faust to spread some happiness or something.
So when he got home, he went to his room and sat down in front of his computer, yet again, and after checking his favorite social media website for the thousandth time, he opened up a word document and started typing. It didn't matter what, he just decided that it was the typing that he needed. He poured out his feelings and descriptions of a character that didn't exist onto a page, that didn't really exist either if he thought about it, and trust me he thought about it.
Every day was the same old thing. Get up, turn on computer, entertain self for numerous hours, and then go back to sleep. Of course this was when he didn't have school. Hours went by, and he didn't seem to notice. He had enveloped himself in the story, as he always did when he began writing. He wrote, and wrote, and wrote.
He didn't really care what it was about, but this seemed to be his element if he ever had one. Eventually he had a 4 chapter short story over 16 pages. It was about a young man who had reached his aspirations through less than diligent work. He worked on a space station, and was an engineer, it was a good pay job, but distanced him from his family.
It seemed a little relative to his own life seeing as he had recently moved from where all his friends, and brother lived, and had also lost his father to cancer. The book went on, and a secret plot was discovered aboard the station. He didn't really need to write the story, it was just what he liked to do.
When he read books they would take him to places he had never dreamed possible, but when he wrote them, he took that reality and he molded it to shape his dreams. It would take him to places that he dreamed, and further. As he wrote, more possibilities would open to him and no matter what, things that he wanted to happen would happen, even in the end if something bad happened, it would resolve itself. Happy endings were his thing, he just couldn't bring himself to write something where the grief of the main character or his friends was what won out in the end.
The same thing would happen when he watched FiM. It took him to his dreams and further, how he wished that he could enter that world that he was sure would never disappoint. He slouched in his chair. The world he was in seemed so hopeless, so lost. He wasn't the one who was going to change that, he was sure of it, but if only there was a way to escape. He closed his eyes.
The only thing left to do was think. Think about the things that could be. If only he could create it.
An idea popped into his head, and he turned back to his computer.
It was time to go, and so he started typing.
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Dude were you stalking me when you came up with the idea for this character, holy fuck. Awesome.
only thing i can say is that its really dry try more description like you did with his eyes. this is for the two chapters i've read so far.
I agree with Roamingmoon, to an extent. You gave us a solid grasp of the character, but at times it felt like some points were strong- Too strong. Like let's say his faith gets awfully commented on.
Least he's not emo.
Also, the word "he" is used over 130 times, I lost count to be honest. Including the words "his" and "him" and "he"- That's about roughly 10~15 percent of a 2400 word chapter. I'm not trying to bash you dude, but maybe consider using other adjectives? Maybe "our protagonist" or "the hero" or "the Hunter" or even his own name a bit more? Hunter is only used about 5 times in this whole chapter?
Okay the whole "an athiest's dream" part is not really true. Celestia and Luna are looked upon as almighty entities (though they are not, but have the reputation of being such). Atheists frown upon the idea of a higher being watching over them. They refuse to believe in something like that.
Atheists would actually cause more social problems in Equestria than needed. Not saying that hardcore (extremist is actually the more appropriate word for it) religious people won't do the same, but Atheism has a bigger history of being brutal, violent, and merciless. See the Soviet Union, Communist China, Vietnam, Cuba, and North Korea. These are examples of Nations without religion to influence their lives in some way.
Heh, I'm over analyzing again. Anyway I am enjoying this story so far, but watch out for people like me who will nitpick. Be thankful it was just that one part for me. Some will go out their way to rip stories like this a new one.
Not saying all atheists are bad, but most (operative word is MOST) have very biased opinions and refuse to see the other side.
Dude, you've described me in a few paragraphs xD cept my fringe goes to my chin :p I have it in curtains. All lookin good to me, though I expect to see more puke! >:3
So far I like this story. But I can only describe it as surreal. Though that could be the sleep deprivation...
HOLY FUCKING SHIT the character compared to me is like comparing
with 
slap a cooler name on me and you have hunter
i approve this story so far
Haha I find that funny how your main character is the same look as me. Same height same eye color, same everything you said. I always respect who I'm talking to (try to never be mean) and I usually always have a straight look on my face though. And I don't date (my reason is there a lot of work right now) But I find it wierd how the mc and I look so close together. I am disturbed
I actually have the same thoughts.
This guy is exsactly like me on how he feels.
And his thoughts haha I think like that all the time haha=)
Also we actually look alot alike hahahaha
I think we're being watched=) haha
PLEASE tell me he meets Blueblood, the literal royal pain in the ass
8395331
You know if we look at just the canon blueblood he may have been a jerk to rarity but you have to admit she was acting like a gold digger back then and he probably assumed she just wanted money or fame that's why he was a jerk, there are some nice bluebloods in the multiverse you know