The Slow Mo Stallions

by gamershot

Chapter 1 stick to popping bubbles

"Hello Internet! Today, we decided to get lots of different alcohol and paint and bleach and basically lots of different liquids, put them in a bucket together, set it on fire and throw it in the air." Gavin said as Dan smiled happily by his side.
"Hopefully this will be a good video with some awesome slow motion in it, as well as completely destroying the lawn." added Dan cheerfully. They loved their jobs, doing wreckless stuff and filming it in slow motion for money, who wouldn't right?

Gavin and Dan walked over to a selection of bright bottles, some glass, some plastic but all said "HIGHLY FLAMMABLE!" On them somewhere. They each picked up a bottle and looked into the camera.
"Here goes!" said Gavin before they began to pour the liquids into the bucket. Dan had some bright pink bleach, whilst Gavin poured in some posh rosé he'd nicked from his mum. They splashed around in the bucket until the bottles were empty and the fluid settled.

Gav peered over the top of the bucket to look at the mixture before hastily moving back whilst coughing loudly. "Bloody hell!" he yelled wiping his eyes and still coughing from the fumes. "Christ, that has quite a nasty gas coming off it."he mumbled to his partner. Obviously then Dan stuck his head over the bucket to have a very similar reaction to Gavin.

After they both calmed down they looked into the camera together.
"We might need our safety equipment for this one." announced Gavin before running over to the bench and grabbing two small gas masks. He walked back over and passed one to Dan
"Thanks Gav" said Dan with a happy nod before they both pulled the masks over their faces.
"Right time for a couple more bottles, what' you going for?" asked Gavin. Dan moved his hand over the bottles before reaching down and grabbing a can of purple paint.
"I'm going for the paint, it could do with a bit more colour don't you think?" he replied. Gavin then reached down and grabbed some blue WKD.
"Yep, I'll go for blue I think!"

They both opened the containers and emptied the contents into the mixture, making it bubble viciously in the bottom of the bucket.
"Phwor!" Laughed Gavin as he looked into the bucket. It was a disgusting mish mash of different thicknesses and colours in a bucket.
"Could do with a little more..." Said Dan as he grabbed another bottle and emptied it into the bucket, shortly followed by Gavin.

A few bottles later, they'd filled the bucket and the repulsive fumes coming from it were visible to the eye. Gavin walked away from the bucket and threw Dan a match box. He opened the box, pulled out a match and struck it on the side lighting it with a small, yellow flame.
"Here goes nothing, remember DO NOT try this at home , we're professionals." He warned.
"Loosely speaking..." Added Gav receiving a chuckle from Dan.

He lined up his shot and threw the match into the bucket immediately lighting it up. The flame was multi coloured, thanks to the different chemicals within the bucket and the heat was steering. The fumes spread all over the garden and both Gavin and Dan ran away, straight away.
The flame almost looked like a mouldy rainbow as it flickered wildly sending it's smoke and gas everywhere it could. Suddenly the fumes set fire, as the gas was oxygenated and flammable.

It spread rapidly over the garden in every direction. Gav and Dan were huddled up in a corner where the fence met the wall of the house. They briefly flinched as they presumed their deaths were imminent, but a bright flash filled their vision and they
both fainted onto eachother.
................
A while earlier...

Twilight had gathered her best friends together in her library to show them something special. She's spent a long time studying and perfecting her new spell and she was confident she'd amaze and share a fun experience her friends. They gathered round Twilight in a semi-circle and she took a step back.
"This better be good, I could be practicing my skills!" moaned Rainbow Dash who was getting rather impatient. They'd been stood waiting for about 10 minutes whilst Twilight prepared everything for her spell.
"It should be Dash, it I get it right that is..." she trailed off, turned around to face her reading stand and straightened up her notes in front of her. She had one last read through her notes before nodding and turning around.

She bowed her head, spread her stance and slowly thought the spell through in her head again and again. Her horn began to glow a soft purple, then intensified gradually into a bright, blazing white. Magical sparks were flying from her horn and landing all over the room, worrying her friends and causing them to close their eyes and look away from the bright light.

Apple Jack briefly opened her eyes and saw something surprising. Twilight's horn was not the dazzling white it was a few seconds ago, in fact it didn't look like magic at all. It looked like her horn was emoting a flame. Not just any flame, a flame that looked like a... mouldy rainbow.
"Er, Twalight?" she stammered nervously.

Suddenly Twilight looked up and her eyes were pure white. A bright flash engulfed the room causing a few of the ponies (Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy) to scream loudly, whilst the other three just tensed up defensively. After a while and the brightness had calmed down, AJ slowly and cautiously opened her eyes. She was absolutely shocked and terrified by what she saw. There were two, tall creatures lay unconscious in the middle of the room, huddled up. They were hairless and had short manes on top of their heads and no tail. AJ backed away slowly, careful not to alarm them. She grabbed a quill and a piece of paper from the shelf near the door and quickly and quietly wrote "I'm going to get princess Celestia, keep them here - Apple Jack". she threw it next to somepony else, sneaked out of the door and galloped full sprees towards the train station, good job she'd packed those emergency bits...

Comments

[Doc Crowl]

So far the story isn't anything bad, but there are a few issues you can work on. First off, you seem to have problem staying in either present or past literary sense. Secondly, try to space out your paragraphs more- that makes for more aesthetically appealing reading, and the mass you have now will probably turn off readers. Third, try to mix up your language and add more punctuation. There's plenty of places where 'said' is used over and over, and times when a comma would do wonders to the flow of your sentences. Try to fix capitalization as well- the first words after someone speaks, if you are going to have something like "said Gavin", need to be lowercase. Just try to read through your story closely a few times and corect silly little mistakes!

[gamershot]

2325006 thanks, will do! I appreciate the feedback :D

[gamershot]

2325006 I've made a few corrections, mostly spelling, grammar or random upper case letters now :) everyone please tell me of you spot any mistakes! :D thanks

[musicalgamer]

YES IMMEDIATE FAVORITE AND FOLLOW

[LtRonaldSpeirsFoo]

MARKKKKKKK NUUUUUUUUUTTTTTT

[Frugs]

My OCD is acting up every time I see a story title without all the words capitalized, if I don't see a story capitalized I normally never even bat the story a second eye... But Dan the man is fucking awesome.

I hope to god that in this story you reference Dans bad reputation with reading restraunt menus

[gamershot]

2326478 don't worry I will, I might be be able to get mark nutt in there somewhere too! :D Also, I'll definitely try to do a chapter a day!

[zorolu]

"I'm going to get princess Celestia, keep them here - Apple Jack"

Why didn't she just send a letter? Unless spike was not there to send one, she had no reason to go all the way to canterlot.