And Celestia's spirit, raging for revenge, with Discord by her side come hot from Tartarus, shall in these confines with a monarch's voice cry "Havoc!", and let slip the dogs of war, that this foul deed shall smell above the earth with carrion ponies, groaning for burial.
2332408 Okie Dokie Lokie! Sequel....yes....YES....YYEESS!!!!!!! MORE DOITR RAPEING AND MORE FUQIN!!! Ohh...umm...I need to read chapter 9 first...........TIME TO READ IT!
Alright, my full analysis. First, the pros: Like I said before, it had a real story to it, as opposed to characters essentially walking in the door and fucking in as many stupidly kinky ways as can be imagined. In terms of how it was written, it had correct spelling, grammar, etc. Something that most clop here doesn't have. It was well paced, and instead of constantly being about sex and rape, the story and unexplained scenes kept you thinking most of the time. Chapter two lacked that, since it was mostly all sex. But it worked both to move the story along and to serve as an essential plot device. Also, it didn't feel repetitive. Perhaps reusing the timber wolf scene was a bit risky, but I guess it worked. In addition, I otherwise didn't feel like I was having to endure the same scenes over and over again. Also, the ending was very much unexpected, and was certainly an interesting concept.
Next, the cons: There really aren't many. First of all, the inconsistency between present and past tense (Like the difference between "She sits down" and "She sat down") kinda put me off. Even in the flashbacks, it was kind of awkward. There was really no recognizable rule of thumb for when it changed. Next, sex and rape seemed like a non-negotiable for moving on the story. Every aspect of the plot was based around rape, and any other chance to take a different route was ignored. It felt like a stern lack of creativity. But as I said before, in terms of the scenes themselves, they remained interesting and diverse between each one. Lastly, the ending showed the same lack of self-control as the beginning, ultimately leaving a very unchanged character, despite the... erm... ordeal. The fact that the main character was set up in that situation was understandable, but didn't seem necessary to me. If anything, it seemed like it was forced, just to add a few paragraphs to the story.
Overall though, it remained interesting and engrossing. I definitely look forward to seeing where you go with the side story/sequel, assuming you're still planning to release it. I personally could do with less constant rape as an essential plot mover and more of a grimdark war setting. But I can definitely say that I'm confident that you'll make whatever happens work.
2355713 [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_of_Nanking_(book)]The Rape of Nanking , if you know about it you will understand that war reached that horrible territory in the past
23593012359301 are you sure you understand? I was not joking about that. Even though this is my clop account I am still linked with that grimdark Connoisseur.
I wish I could be distracted by the shinyness now however there is parallels between this and the Nanking Massacre except for the blood and gore (for now as there might be a war in the next chapter).
2364242 I know but to be honest.....I don't give a single fuck about anyone who died, I don't care....I give zero cares about anyone I don't know, I may be cheerful and happy most of the time but I can be cold, I don't feel sadness for others who haven't made contact with me or whom I don't know. I tried to keep it happy but what you said back I don't really care about it. Call me evil but I find death hilarious, call me a sadist but I find pain enjoyable to watch, especially on those who have wronged me. And as for grimdark tame so so very tame. I wish you didn't respond like that. I find all grim darks I read laughable because their all so incredibly absurd.
I have a question: Does this fic deal with the recovery after Dash's (apparently) horrible experience? I'm fine with reading some fucked up shit, but my favourite part is always the long and arduous journey of recovery that takes place afterwards. For example, I read Cupcakes. It was okay. I read The Cupcake Chronicles. I loved it! The best stories of recovery are not the ones where everything goes back to normal, but the ones where the character has to adjust to their "broken" state, and learn to live with what happened to them.
tl;dr Is there any substance to this story at all outside of Dash rape?
There is one last chapter that will be posted soon. It wraps up some stuff...
There is also a sequel in the works, it being more focused on the entire populace of Equestria, not just Dash and 'you'. You both will be making appearances, perhaps a bit more on Dash's recovery. I hate saying 'you'll have to read it to find out!', but since my stories can be influenced by my reader's comments/ideas/etc, I cannot guarantee anything. (for instance, the original story was only 2 chapters, but constant bugging by a few people led me to expand on it)
tl;dr - Mainly Dash in this one. Much, much wider assortment of substance in sequel.
Damn... TOO similar for my tastes to Nox Silva. Way too similar. That thing kept me sleepless for 3 days, and now you're reawakening those memories. Dammit, those griffons are going to pay. Sorry, I get a bit emotional when shit happens to Spitfire. Well shit, mister pegasus, you're gonna get your dick cut off if you keep fucking ponies like that. And stupid sexy Spitfire....
Well that was somewhat unexpected...
So I'm guessing 'I' will have both Dash AND Spitfire?! Well.....BRING ON THE THREESOME!!!
Yes... Yesss..... YO ZEN WHAT U DOIN uhh... Gotta go!
the ending caught me off guard but LOL
2333718>>2334712
P-P-P-PLOT TWIST!
And Celestia's spirit, raging for revenge, with Discord by her side come hot from Tartarus, shall in these confines with a monarch's voice cry "Havoc!", and let slip the dogs of war, that this foul deed shall smell above the earth with carrion ponies, groaning for burial.
2332408
Okie Dokie Lokie! Sequel....yes....YES....YYEESS!!!!!!! MORE DOITR RAPEING AND MORE FUQIN!!!
Ohh...umm...I need to read chapter 9 first...........TIME TO READ IT!
Double fun time indeed. lol great story. nice parallell and i cant wait to see how the whole war thing pans out.
Guess the timberwolf's 'bark' was worse than his bite
A happy ending would be, or not?
...Seriously unamused.
2267893 2267844
WHY HAVE YOU SUMMONED ME MORTAL?
2349558
Oh hi. You seem to be in great demand from some of my readers.
Alright, my full analysis.
First, the pros:
Like I said before, it had a real story to it, as opposed to characters essentially walking in the door and fucking in as many stupidly kinky ways as can be imagined. In terms of how it was written, it had correct spelling, grammar, etc. Something that most clop here doesn't have. It was well paced, and instead of constantly being about sex and rape, the story and unexplained scenes kept you thinking most of the time. Chapter two lacked that, since it was mostly all sex. But it worked both to move the story along and to serve as an essential plot device.
Also, it didn't feel repetitive. Perhaps reusing the timber wolf scene was a bit risky, but I guess it worked. In addition, I otherwise didn't feel like I was having to endure the same scenes over and over again. Also, the ending was very much unexpected, and was certainly an interesting concept.
Next, the cons:
There really aren't many. First of all, the inconsistency between present and past tense (Like the difference between "She sits down" and "She sat down") kinda put me off. Even in the flashbacks, it was kind of awkward. There was really no recognizable rule of thumb for when it changed.
Next, sex and rape seemed like a non-negotiable for moving on the story. Every aspect of the plot was based around rape, and any other chance to take a different route was ignored. It felt like a stern lack of creativity. But as I said before, in terms of the scenes themselves, they remained interesting and diverse between each one.
Lastly, the ending showed the same lack of self-control as the beginning, ultimately leaving a very unchanged character, despite the... erm... ordeal. The fact that the main character was set up in that situation was understandable, but didn't seem necessary to me. If anything, it seemed like it was forced, just to add a few paragraphs to the story.
Overall though, it remained interesting and engrossing. I definitely look forward to seeing where you go with the side story/sequel, assuming you're still planning to release it. I personally could do with less constant rape as an essential plot mover and more of a grimdark war setting. But I can definitely say that I'm confident that you'll make whatever happens work.
I am sickend in myself for reading and liking this
2349558 WAR GET OUT OF HERE THIS ISN'T YOUR JOB. THIS IS RAPE NOT WAR!!
2354608 it really is disturbing right!
2355713 [url=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_of_Nanking_(book)]The Rape of Nanking , if you know about it you will understand that war reached that horrible territory in the past
Feels kinda strange reading this after reading Rainbow Factory (as my non clop alterego). Can't tell which one is worse
2356584 um..... Be distracted by my shining goldness!!!
2360675>>2360462
And to think that was only chapter 1...
2359301 2359301 are you sure you understand? I was not joking about that. Even though this is my clop account I am still linked with that grimdark Connoisseur.
I wish I could be distracted by the shinyness now however there is parallels between this and the Nanking Massacre except for the blood and gore (for now as there might be a war in the next chapter).
2364242 I know but to be honest.....I don't give a single fuck about anyone who died, I don't care....I give zero cares about anyone I don't know, I may be cheerful and happy most of the time but I can be cold, I don't feel sadness for others who haven't made contact with me or whom I don't know. I tried to keep it happy but what you said back I don't really care about it. Call me evil but I find death hilarious, call me a sadist but I find pain enjoyable to watch, especially on those who have wronged me. And as for grimdark tame so so very tame. I wish you didn't respond like that. I find all grim darks I read laughable because their all so incredibly absurd.
I have a question:
Does this fic deal with the recovery after Dash's (apparently) horrible experience?
I'm fine with reading some fucked up shit, but my favourite part is always the long and arduous journey of recovery that takes place afterwards.
For example, I read Cupcakes. It was okay.
I read The Cupcake Chronicles. I loved it!
The best stories of recovery are not the ones where everything goes back to normal, but the ones where the character has to adjust to their "broken" state, and learn to live with what happened to them.
tl;dr
Is there any substance to this story at all outside of Dash rape?
2366567
There is one last chapter that will be posted soon. It wraps up some stuff...
There is also a sequel in the works, it being more focused on the entire populace of Equestria, not just Dash and 'you'. You both will be making appearances, perhaps a bit more on Dash's recovery. I hate saying 'you'll have to read it to find out!', but since my stories can be influenced by my reader's comments/ideas/etc, I cannot guarantee anything. (for instance, the original story was only 2 chapters, but constant bugging by a few people led me to expand on it)
tl;dr - Mainly Dash in this one. Much, much wider assortment of substance in sequel.
2364368 sounds like you might be the sort that laugh at the holocaust not for the racism and bigotry but instead for the painful death and violence
2368869 you've got the point.
2366831
Recovery? Thanks for spoiling that for us or recovery as in the Griffons recover Dash as a sex toy
2369706
My lips are sealed.
I'll just say this; things stay dark.
Damn... TOO similar for my tastes to Nox Silva. Way too similar. That thing kept me sleepless for 3 days, and now you're reawakening those memories. Dammit, those griffons are going to pay. Sorry, I get a bit emotional when shit happens to Spitfire. Well shit, mister pegasus, you're gonna get your dick cut off if you keep fucking ponies like that. And stupid sexy Spitfire....
~SolidFire