"Hmm... reasonable explanations why," Hades said aloud, red frosting still covering his face. Fluttershy was still in his arms, two new mares suddenly enter the sweet shop, and one clearly confused dragon is in the middle of it. Shrugging, he chucked Fluttershy over his shoulder. "Nah, I ain't got nothing."
"Ya no good varmint!" Applejack yelled, charging forward to tackle the creature that just abused Fluttershy like that. But like with Dash, she passed right through the bottom of his robes as if they were smoke, reappearing on the other side. And of course she had to crash into Fluttershy, the two tumbling across the floor and crashing into the wall, wrapped in the other's body.
"Sheesh you two, get a room!" he laughed, licking the last traces of red frosting from his face.
"Hades, that wasn't a nice thing to do!" Twilight scolded him, reaching Applejack and Fluttershy and trying her best to untangle the two.
"Yeah, definitely not cool, man," Dash agreed, glaring at the devious god.
"Cool? Baby, I'm the definition of cool. I'm the God of Cool. I am the pantheon of coolness!" Hades put on a pair of stylish black shades he acquired from out of nowhere. "Word to yo mother."
"... would someone please mind explaining to me what is going on?" Rarity asked loudly, her head turning left and right in exasperation.
"This jerk is the God of the Underworld, Hades," Dash said through gritted teeth, wanting nothing more in the world than to drive a hoof through that smug smile of his. "He appeared out of nowhere, ate all the sweets in the bakery, and has acted like a total—"
"—ly super awesome guy," Hades interrupted her, leaning on her head with his elbow while adjusting his shades. "Yep, the best ever. Can't beat him. Which is what she was about to say."
Dash scowled. "I was no—" But her lips were magically sealed, Hades having snapped his fingers nonchalantly.
"As she was saying, I'm the raddest dude to arrive in this popsicle- or should I rather say, pony stand, you call a town."
Rarity grimaced at the sight of him. His robes were the most dreadful color of bleak she had ever seen, and his skin resembled ash. Not to mention his atrocious dental hygiene and what appeared to be yellow, infected eyes. But the creme of the crop would have to go to his hair, which was simply... "Majestic," she whispered in awe, her eyes turning starry.
"... um, someone gonna explain that to me?" he asked, pointing a thumb over his shoulder at the drooling mare.
"No time!" Pinkie yelled, waving her arms like noodles in the air. "Mr. and Mrs. Cake will be here soon, there's no pastries left, and Hades still hasn't paid!"
Applejack finally managed to untangle herself from Fluttershy, who had fainted from the impact. Adjusting her Stetson back atop her blonde mane, she huffed in annoyance, glaring hot daggers of hate at the one god responsible. "I don't care if yer the God of Everything, there's no way ya can treat mah friends like this."
"I second that!" Dash shouted, standing by her friend and shooting the same look Applejack was directing at Hades.
"Whoa, what's with all the hate?" Hades asked, snapping his fingers and reappearing next to Spike. "And to show such hate in front of the children. For shame, for shame."
"I agree," Rarity said, and nearly the rest of the girls gasped in shock, except for Fluttershy was still unconscious and Pinkie Pie who was pulling out her pink, frizzy mare trying to figure out a plan to restock the shelves and get the money to pay for all the merchandise Hades gobbled up. "What?" she accused the group, "I believe in not judging a book by its cover. And while Hades' cover is a tad... drab, there's some nice points to him."
"Like what?" Dash spat out.
Rarity was practically floating on her hooves, her blue eyes shimmering like sapphires as they stared in the blue flames of Hades' hairdo. "Well, his hair for one thing. Those flames are simply devine. You simply have to tell me how you got your hair like that, darling."
Hades snapped his fingers and a shampoo bottle appeared in his hand, the squirter top in the shape of a skull and the entire thing resembling a casket. "Hellay, shampoo and conditioner in one. Guaranteed to give you the most hellish hair in the Underworld and above."
Applejack stomped her hoof on the floor, the thunk of the wood catching everyone's attention. "I don't care what type of shampoo ya use. Are ya gonna pay Pinkie back fer all the treats ya ate, or not?"
Twilight arched an eyebrow at Hades herself, trotting closer to the god. "What Applejack said. You do have money to pay for every pastry you consumed here, don't you?"
"Um... yeah," Hades gulped, patting his sides. "Uh, I seem to have lost my wallet at home. If I can go get it real fast, I'll be sure to pay right away..."
"A gentleman always has money present to pay for necessities," Rarity reminded him, pulling out a mirror out of nowhere and adjusting her lusciously smooth, purple locks while holding the demonic looking shampoo bottle in a hoof, questioning how her hair would look if it was on fire.
When Hades turned to the door he discovered it was blocked by a trio of ponies, an angry Rainbow Dash accompanied by Applejack and Twilight, whose glowing horn a clear sign that she teleported them there. "Oh no you don't, mister," Twilight scolded the god, completely unfazed at his devilish appearance like she was only minutes ago. "You need to pay up."
Hades tapped his chin in thought for a minute, then turned to the frantic pink mare and yelled out, "Hey Pinkie, can you put it on my tab?"
"What's a tab?"
"Darn," he sighed under his breath, rubbing his brows. From in between his fingers he looked out and noticed the baby dragon still standing there and watching. Leaning down closer and cupping a hand so only he could hear, he asked, "Psst, kid, loan me some cash?"
"Um, sure," Spike replied, digging into his pockets and pulling out wadded bubble gum wrappers, lint, string, and two pennies.
Staring back at the ponies, Hades asked, "Will this cover it, or should I leave a generous tip?"
"Nope. All these sweets need to be paid in full, or else Sugarcube Corner will go out of business," Twilight explained.
"FOREVER!" Pinkie yelled for dramatic effect, once again appearing from the mysterious space of Pinkiedom, and yet again next to the girls while everyone face hoofed. It was here that she realized she might be out of a job and home soon, and her normally fluffy mane fell straight down and she started whimpering.
"Dagnabit, look what ya made her do," Applejack scolded Hades, moving to Pinkie's side in an attempt to comfort her. "Now she might lose her job all cause ya had to snack on ever darn sugary sweet in the joint."
Hades thought this over for a moment, and came to a startling conclusion. He didn't owe them anything. Heck, he was a god! He didn't pay for mortal pleasures, and he sure as hell wasn't about to be scolded by some pathetic mortal who thinks she's tough stuff. Grinning wickedly like a maniac to his victim before the kill, he pulled up his sleeves and said, "Well then, why would I pay in the first place, hmm?"
"Because if Sugarcube Corner goes out of business, no more pudding and other sweets for you," Twilight deducted, a smug grin on her egghead face.
Hades raised a finger up to argue, but none came to mind. He dropped his hand and pouted, turning his back to the group. "Fine, I'll pay. You guys don't mind sticking around with me while I go back home to get my wallet?"
"Not at all," Twilight replied, Rarity, Dash, and Applejack shooting her a look while Spike bounced in place happily at the prospect of adventure.
"Okay then. Though here's a warning. I haven't cleaned the place in eons. Also, it smells like death," he chuckled, moving past the group and walking out the door. Applejack and Rainbow Dash merely shrug their shoulders and followed, while Rarity arched an expertly trimmed eyebrow at Twilight. Twilight rolled her eyes, not saying a word as Spike shuffled on her back and was practically hopping in his seat.
Soon the sweet shop was empty, all except for one mare, who awoke with a fright. Fluttershy shakily returned to all her hooves and groaned, rubbing a bump on her head she received from her nasty fall with Applejack. Scanning the barren room, she whispered, "Um, hello, is anypony here?"
"Oh, I wouldn't say anypony, my sweet," a grim voice said from above her, laughing wickedly. Fluttershy felt a drop of water fall in her mane. Reaching over to feel it, she realize with horror that it was saliva.
She looked up at the ceiling, her pupils growing wide. "O-oh dear."
About time it updated
Yay it updated, I enjoy reading up on this story. I can easily picture Hades's voice as I read and it so fun~
I hope we meet Phil soon!
de·fine [dih-fahyn], verb. To state or set forth the meaning of (a word, phrase, etc.): They disagreed on how to define “liberal.”
di·vine [dih-vahyn], adjective. Addressed, appropriated, or devoted to God or a god; religious; sacred: divine worship.
YES
The update I thought would come came! And I don't know if the ponies would get stuck there or be on an Orpheus-like mission
What will the ponies do if they meet Hercules and Pegasus or even Phil?
2260363 *Pictures dash getting a huge crush on pegasus*
Uh oh look's like Fluttershy is on the menu. What will the girl's think about Hades home?
2260031>>2259748
Damn you tiny mistakes I miss!
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Also, thanks for pointing that out!
2261927 Because you posted that song, you are a terrible person.
Hades can be such a troll sometimes
Either that's Cerberus, Orthrus or a giant spider
If it is option C, I'll just be over here, cowering in fear like the arachnophobic I am...
lol I needed this laugh. Very well done on capturing his persona, so much insanity and its only because of a trip to get pudding.
This shall be good!
Not sure what's going on but pretty sure it's bad.
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Well, it isn't like Hades can't afford it. He's the God of the Underworld, after all, and by extension is the God of Wealth, as that includes all of the wealth below the surface of the world. It's why a government run by the wealthiest is called a Plutocracy. (Hades=Pluto)
2270177
Huh, while I consider myself fairly well versed in mythology I did not know that. It does make Hades share of the three-way split of the world with his brothers seem more fair.
2270678
Yeah. The whole thing is tied together because the Greek afterlife is underground (the whole afterlife, not just Tartarus, which is where the souls due for punishment ended up), so when Hades got dominion of everything below the surface of the world, that included the afterlife (and when the dead are buried, they are placed underground, which is likely where the lord of the dead/underground afterlife thing got its start).
Hades later got painted as a Satan equivalent/alternate name, so a lot of stuff got downplayed or twisted around. The Disney movie's plot draws upon this, as Hades' desire in the movie to conquer Olympus is basically an expy of Satan's desire to conquer Heaven.
But yeah, he was originally considered the equal of Zeus and Poseidon, and his dominion was equal to theirs.
Definitely one of my favorite chapters! A good amount of smart humor and well thought out events were put into this chapter, I can't wait to see how the rest of the gang reacts to the underworld! I'm a huge fan of your work now
2270760
Well I knew most of that. As far as Greek Gods go Hades was pretty chill in the mythology. Less of an asshole then his Brothers and most of the other Olympian gods. Heck with heroes like Heracles or Orpheus Hades was fairly reasonable with them even if they are trespassing.
I mean Tartarus is in his domain but he's more like the Warden with other gods condemning people there or the mortals themselves earning their spot.
It makes sense he'd be rich even without the ownership of all the below ground resources. After all his employee runs the one ferry that everyone has got to cross eventually. At two coins for a one way trip people are dying to use it.
But yeah Disney's Hades, like most gods associated with Death, the dead, or war gets painted with the villain brush and the Satan role while the other gods have their worst qualities glossed over.
2276945
Yeah, except for Zeus. I'd say he got more whitewashed than glossed over, really. Seeing that happy family up in the Disney version of Olympus cracks me up. I can just imagine the Disney execs sitting down, deciding to make a movie about one of the most famous heroes in mythology (bonus points because Herc is public domain), and congratulating themselves for the idea. And then they go and read the actual myths.
2277069
Oh totally. Disney Zeus was completely whitewashed. Not the petty, unfaithful, vengeful Zeus of Mythology.
Disney having Hera as Hercules' loving biological mother is particularly jarring. Clearly they ignored most of Hercules' origin story, possibly one of the most important parts of his story in fact.
Let's not get started on Hercules himself..
And thus we laugh.
Despite him being one of my favorite Disney Villains, i've never been possessed with the desire to read a Hades-based fanfic. But, i'm mos def glad i found this one as it's most excellent. Looking 4ward to more!
2277279: What, you want them putting that into a kids' movie? Besides, all the mythological in-jokes they included proves that they're not IGNORING the actual myths so much as doing heavy adaptation to make it kid-friendly.
The hero of a kids' movie can't be as flawed as the original Hercules was... so let's make him more like Superman instead. Everyone likes Superman, right? And he's a very kid-friendly sort of hero. Besides, Hercules was the Superman of Classical Myth anyway.
You can't have adultery in a kids' movie, so Hercules has to be the child of Zeus and Hera. We want to encourage healthy families in our kids' entertainment, not unpunished cheating.
The whole reason Hercules became a god was because he had to burn off mortality after being coated in acidic centaur blood by a jealous wife. But none of that's really kid-friendly, now is it? So we'll take off the "ascension by death" thing... wait, we need a plot...
And that's where all the reworking comes in.
Overall, I felt it was a very well-executed movie that ages well and that has evidence that they did, indeed, do their research. My only real objection on that front is the fact that Narcissus, of all people, is hanging around Olympus for no particular reason.
i hope more comes soon me this story
Hades is also the God of Riches, he's good for it.