"Hmm... reasonable explanations why," Hades said aloud, red frosting still covering his face. Fluttershy was still in his arms, two new mares suddenly enter the sweet shop, and one clearly confused dragon is in the middle of it. Shrugging, he chucked Fluttershy over his shoulder. "Nah, I ain't got nothing."
"Ya no good varmint!" Applejack yelled, charging forward to tackle the creature that just abused Fluttershy like that. But like with Dash, she passed right through the bottom of his robes as if they were smoke, reappearing on the other side. And of course she had to crash into Fluttershy, the two tumbling across the floor and crashing into the wall, wrapped in the other's body.
"Sheesh you two, get a room!" he laughed, licking the last traces of red frosting from his face.
"Hades, that wasn't a nice thing to do!" Twilight scolded him, reaching Applejack and Fluttershy and trying her best to untangle the two.
"Yeah, definitely not cool, man," Dash agreed, glaring at the devious god.
"Cool? Baby, I'm the definition of cool. I'm the God of Cool. I am the pantheon of coolness!" Hades put on a pair of stylish black shades he acquired from out of nowhere. "Word to yo mother."
"... would someone please mind explaining to me what is going on?" Rarity asked loudly, her head turning left and right in exasperation.
"This jerk is the God of the Underworld, Hades," Dash said through gritted teeth, wanting nothing more in the world than to drive a hoof through that smug smile of his. "He appeared out of nowhere, ate all the sweets in the bakery, and has acted like a total—"
"—ly super awesome guy," Hades interrupted her, leaning on her head with his elbow while adjusting his shades. "Yep, the best ever. Can't beat him. Which is what she was about to say."
Dash scowled. "I was no—" But her lips were magically sealed, Hades having snapped his fingers nonchalantly.
"As she was saying, I'm the raddest dude to arrive in this popsicle- or should I rather say, pony stand, you call a town."
Rarity grimaced at the sight of him. His robes were the most dreadful color of bleak she had ever seen, and his skin resembled ash. Not to mention his atrocious dental hygiene and what appeared to be yellow, infected eyes. But the creme of the crop would have to go to his hair, which was simply... "Majestic," she whispered in awe, her eyes turning starry.
"... um, someone gonna explain that to me?" he asked, pointing a thumb over his shoulder at the drooling mare.
"No time!" Pinkie yelled, waving her arms like noodles in the air. "Mr. and Mrs. Cake will be here soon, there's no pastries left, and Hades still hasn't paid!"
Applejack finally managed to untangle herself from Fluttershy, who had fainted from the impact. Adjusting her Stetson back atop her blonde mane, she huffed in annoyance, glaring hot daggers of hate at the one god responsible. "I don't care if yer the God of Everything, there's no way ya can treat mah friends like this."
"I second that!" Dash shouted, standing by her friend and shooting the same look Applejack was directing at Hades.
"Whoa, what's with all the hate?" Hades asked, snapping his fingers and reappearing next to Spike. "And to show such hate in front of the children. For shame, for shame."
"I agree," Rarity said, and nearly the rest of the girls gasped in shock, except for Fluttershy was still unconscious and Pinkie Pie who was pulling out her pink, frizzy mare trying to figure out a plan to restock the shelves and get the money to pay for all the merchandise Hades gobbled up. "What?" she accused the group, "I believe in not judging a book by its cover. And while Hades' cover is a tad... drab, there's some nice points to him."
"Like what?" Dash spat out.
Rarity was practically floating on her hooves, her blue eyes shimmering like sapphires as they stared in the blue flames of Hades' hairdo. "Well, his hair for one thing. Those flames are simply devine. You simply have to tell me how you got your hair like that, darling."
Hades snapped his fingers and a shampoo bottle appeared in his hand, the squirter top in the shape of a skull and the entire thing resembling a casket. "Hellay, shampoo and conditioner in one. Guaranteed to give you the most hellish hair in the Underworld and above."
Applejack stomped her hoof on the floor, the thunk of the wood catching everyone's attention. "I don't care what type of shampoo ya use. Are ya gonna pay Pinkie back fer all the treats ya ate, or not?"
Twilight arched an eyebrow at Hades herself, trotting closer to the god. "What Applejack said. You do have money to pay for every pastry you consumed here, don't you?"
"Um... yeah," Hades gulped, patting his sides. "Uh, I seem to have lost my wallet at home. If I can go get it real fast, I'll be sure to pay right away..."
"A gentleman always has money present to pay for necessities," Rarity reminded him, pulling out a mirror out of nowhere and adjusting her lusciously smooth, purple locks while holding the demonic looking shampoo bottle in a hoof, questioning how her hair would look if it was on fire.
When Hades turned to the door he discovered it was blocked by a trio of ponies, an angry Rainbow Dash accompanied by Applejack and Twilight, whose glowing horn a clear sign that she teleported them there. "Oh no you don't, mister," Twilight scolded the god, completely unfazed at his devilish appearance like she was only minutes ago. "You need to pay up."
Hades tapped his chin in thought for a minute, then turned to the frantic pink mare and yelled out, "Hey Pinkie, can you put it on my tab?"
"What's a tab?"
"Darn," he sighed under his breath, rubbing his brows. From in between his fingers he looked out and noticed the baby dragon still standing there and watching. Leaning down closer and cupping a hand so only he could hear, he asked, "Psst, kid, loan me some cash?"
"Um, sure," Spike replied, digging into his pockets and pulling out wadded bubble gum wrappers, lint, string, and two pennies.
Staring back at the ponies, Hades asked, "Will this cover it, or should I leave a generous tip?"
"Nope. All these sweets need to be paid in full, or else Sugarcube Corner will go out of business," Twilight explained.
"FOREVER!" Pinkie yelled for dramatic effect, once again appearing from the mysterious space of Pinkiedom, and yet again next to the girls while everyone face hoofed. It was here that she realized she might be out of a job and home soon, and her normally fluffy mane fell straight down and she started whimpering.
"Dagnabit, look what ya made her do," Applejack scolded Hades, moving to Pinkie's side in an attempt to comfort her. "Now she might lose her job all cause ya had to snack on ever darn sugary sweet in the joint."
Hades thought this over for a moment, and came to a startling conclusion. He didn't owe them anything. Heck, he was a god! He didn't pay for mortal pleasures, and he sure as hell wasn't about to be scolded by some pathetic mortal who thinks she's tough stuff. Grinning wickedly like a maniac to his victim before the kill, he pulled up his sleeves and said, "Well then, why would I pay in the first place, hmm?"
"Because if Sugarcube Corner goes out of business, no more pudding and other sweets for you," Twilight deducted, a smug grin on her egghead face.
Hades raised a finger up to argue, but none came to mind. He dropped his hand and pouted, turning his back to the group. "Fine, I'll pay. You guys don't mind sticking around with me while I go back home to get my wallet?"
"Not at all," Twilight replied, Rarity, Dash, and Applejack shooting her a look while Spike bounced in place happily at the prospect of adventure.
"Okay then. Though here's a warning. I haven't cleaned the place in eons. Also, it smells like death," he chuckled, moving past the group and walking out the door. Applejack and Rainbow Dash merely shrug their shoulders and followed, while Rarity arched an expertly trimmed eyebrow at Twilight. Twilight rolled her eyes, not saying a word as Spike shuffled on her back and was practically hopping in his seat.
Soon the sweet shop was empty, all except for one mare, who awoke with a fright. Fluttershy shakily returned to all her hooves and groaned, rubbing a bump on her head she received from her nasty fall with Applejack. Scanning the barren room, she whispered, "Um, hello, is anypony here?"
"Oh, I wouldn't say anypony, my sweet," a grim voice said from above her, laughing wickedly. Fluttershy felt a drop of water fall in her mane. Reaching over to feel it, she realize with horror that it was saliva.
She looked up at the ceiling, her pupils growing wide. "O-oh dear."