Chapter 4 Heavy Traffic In The Everfree Forest
Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom
Chapter 4 Heavy Traffic In The Everfree Forest
“…and then the Wonderbolts zoom in and join Daring in fighting off the pterodactyls of the Lost Valley!”
“That sounds like a very interesting story,” said Professor Coal Heart. He didn’t actually sound very interested.
“Then you’d like to write it? That would be so cool!” The Professor’s lukewarm tone did not register with Rainbow Dash. She had been chewing his ear off with her story idea for half the distance from Ponyville. “Do you need a written outline? I could get Spike to help me with that…”
“Thank you, but no thank you,” Professor Heart curtly cut her off. “I have quite enough ideas of my own to write. But if you write it yourself, please feel free to submit it to my magazine.”
Rainbow was temporarily shocked into silence by the very idea of writing something herself.
“It sounds like your Captain of the Wonderbolts character looks like me,” noted Navy, a dark blue pegasus with a two tone mane and tail.
“She does not!” snapped Rainbow, who could never remain silent long. “Wrong shade of blue, Navy. Besides, Captain Rush is a mare, not a stallion.”
“I have a story I’ve almost finished,” said Infernalo. The young unicorn spoke in a finely cultivated manner, and he might have had a slight accent (though if he did it was nothing anypony could place). “Daring Do finds a lost library and must take on a temporary sidekick to aid in the translations. She is a very shy little unicorn, and not at all happy with all the excitement. I call her Wissend Schnufig.”
Rainbow blew a raspberry. “Bor-ing!” She leaned close to Professor Heart and whispered, “He’s just a casual fan.” In fact Rainbow dismissed half the Blue Team as casuals on the basis that they borrowed their pith helmets from the convention rather than owning their own.
“Actually, she sounds like the sort of character our fandom could use more of,” said Professor Heart. “Please finish your story and submit it.”
“Professor Heart, is it alright for you to leave the convention?” asked Autumn Breeze. She was the weather patrol pegasus on leaf fall duty, charged with clearing away what wasn’t shaken loose during the annual Running of Leaves. Her mane of many autumn leaf colors and her cutie mark (a falling maple leaf) reflected this. Autumn loved her work. “You’re the Guest of Honor, Professor.”
“Programing was over for the day. There is nothing going on but room parties and… ugh… filk singing.”
“Oh, filking sounds like fun,” said Navy.
“To each their own.”
“We’re there,” said the Mayor. She had dyed her hair multiple shades of grey for DaringCon, and it had utterly failed to make her look like Daring Do. That she kept losing her helmet didn’t help. “This must be Dr. Stalker’s camp.”
The rough path opened into a small clearing. There they found two small tents and a pavilion. Set up under the pavilion were portable tables and collapsing desks, all covered with papers and equipment.
“Look, I found their mini-fridge,” called Stone Hoof, his head under a table. Stone was quite a young unicorn, but he was big for his age. Actually, he was just big. Stone was the tallest member of the Blue Team, and Rainbow’s ears only came to his shoulders.
“Oh, oh, what’s inside?” asked Rainbow, shaking with anticipation. “Somepony’s head?”
“Eww!” exclaimed all the other ponies.
Stone Hoof opened the fridge. “Um… some preserved specimens, I think, a case of Foster’s Cider, and a can of Wham wheat loaf product.”
“Oh, great, toss that over here,” called Rainbow. “I’m starving.”
“Shut the door, or you’ll let out all the cold,” said the Mayor. “Their generator is off so that refrigerator isn’t running.”
“Look, Dr. Stalker was writing something,” said Autumn, who was examining the papers on one of the desks.
“Cool,” said Rainbow, as she used the attached key to get the top off the can of Wham. “Is it his blood soaked dying words?”
“It’s a letter to Princess Celestia,” said Autumn. “Dr. Stalker wants her to send a botanist and a forester to join the survey. He says the plants and trees are important. What a nice stallion.”
Navy had stuck his head through the doors of both small tents. “They’re living in these. The cots aren’t made, but everything else looks like it’s in order.”
“What kind of crime scene is this?” demanded Rainbow. “Where are all the juicy clues?”
“This isn’t a crime scene, it’s a work space,” stated Professor Heart. “The only disorder comes not from a struggle but from work being done. See how they left the paperwork all carefully weighted down? They left intending to come back and get to work again. Clearly they just haven’t been back since this morning.”
“I agree,” said the Mayor. “There’s nothing for us to find here.”
“Well, we can’t just give up and go home!” declared Rainbow. “Not and let those gaming losers find the kids. Forget that.”
Infernalo was examining the map. He pointed. “We could take this path and link up with the Green Team. They might be interested in what we’ve found.”
“We haven’t found anything,” said Navy. “And I don’t know if it does any good covering the same ground as the Green Team.”
“We might as well just go back to Ponyville,” said Professor Heart. “If we start now we can be out of the Forest before sunset.”
“I’m not afraid of the dark,” said Infernalo. Several ponies agreed.
“Ah, but it’s not just the dark,” stated Professor Heart. “It’s the dark Everfree Forest.”
They were all silent as they considered this.
“If the kids can be out here in the dark then so can I!” Rainbow ruined the dramatic effect of her statement by shaking the layer of congealed vegetable oil off the Wham loaf and beginning to eat.
Well,” began Infernalo. “There is one other place we could look.”
They all gathered around to see just what spot on the map Infernalo was indicating.
“Oh, no!” exclaimed Professor Heart. “We do not want to go there. We absolutely do not want to go there.”
“It’s not so bad,” said Rainbow, through a full mouth.
Something called from deep in the forest.
“Oogie, oogie, oogie!”
#
“Rarity, pass me the map, would ya?” asked Applejack.
The Green Team had come to the clearing that was supposed to be as deep into the Forest as the field trip would go. If Applejack’s reassuring words had been correct, the Green Team would have met the children on the path as they returned to Ponyville. Applejack was disappointed, but not surprised, that she had been wrong.
“According to this map this is supposed to be a grassy meadow with a big ol’ rock in the middle. Not this empty dirt patch.”
“It also says a manticore frequents this clearing,” said Rarity. “You don’t suppose…”
“No ah don’t, so don’t go gettin’ all dramatic, you hear?”
“A group as large as were with the field trip would have intimidated a manticore, even if most of them were children,” said a dapper gray unicorn. Through the long hike from Ponyville he had not loosened his necktie. “Also, Dr. Stalker is an accomplished animal handler and has experience with manticores.”
When the party had exchanged names the unicorn had asked to just be called ‘Professor.’ Applejack had remarked “Doesn’t anypony on this team have more than one name?” Apparently, no.
A green pegasus scratched at the dirt with the tip of her hoof. She soon uncovered several long stalks of grass. She tasted one and spit it out. “These were growing here only a few hours ago. The sod would have been thick, but now it’s pulverized.” Fern was an herbalist, and what she didn’t know about plants was probably unknown to all ponykind. Plants were, unfortunately, the only thing Fern was not afraid of. “It looks like a mass… you don’t think this is a… oh, my gosh!”
Applejack put a reassuring hoof on Fern’s shoulder. “No, Sugar, no pony’s buried here. It’s just an excavation, so there’s no call to run away and hide.”
“An excavator tears away big chunks of earth, it doesn’t grind them into sand,” said Tim. He was an engineer, and Applejack guessed that his full name had something to do with widgets and gizmos and such. A name that matched the pegasus’ cutie mark, a book over two interlocking gears, would be just the sort of name ponies would keep getting wrong. Hence he just wanted to be called Tim. “Also, you couldn’t get a digging machine out here without making lots of tracks.”
“I’ve seen this before,” mused Rarity. “But that was only small holes, never anything on this scale.”
“You suspect diamond dogs?” asked a blue unicorn. He gave his name as ‘Stranger,’ and he seemed to be a professional wanderer. He was secretive, but this seemed to be just part of his solitary nature. “I agree. They could have done this, if there were enough of them.”
The Professor closed his eyes as he made a mental calculation. “It would take at least ten diamond dogs. But if they had it prepared in advance they could collapse the trap fast enough to catch every pony in this clearing.”
“It’s a trap?!” gasped Fern. She dove into a bush at the clearing’s edge.
“Trap’s already been sprung, Fern, Darlin’,” said Applejack. “Please come out of the foliage.”
“Oh, I hate to think of poor Sweetie Belle in the paws of those ruffians!” cried Rarity. “And Quizzical! If that awful Chief Bowser is involved he might be picking his teeth with her bones as we speak!”
“Eep!” shrieked Fern, backing further into the undergrowth.
Applejack let out an exasperated gasp. “Bowser wouldn’t eat Quiz! At least not right away.”
“A good way to proceed would be to consider what the diamond dogs might be doing,” suggested the Professor. “It seems unlikely they would be mining. The upper layers of bedrock here are sedimentary. The gem bearing metamorphic rocks are much deeper. Diamond dogs could mine those for years and never be noticed.”
“There are tales of lost treasure hidden in the Everfree,” said Stranger. “Old magic, forgotten knowledge, riches from before the founding of Equestria. I confess I came to Ponyville meaning to investigate such legends. Now seems like the perfect time.”
“But that’s all just old mares' tales,” said Applejack.
“Perhaps,” said the Professor. “But there are so very many legends, if even a small fraction of the tales hold truth then the diamond dogs might have found… something.”
“The place to look is here,” said Stranger, pointing to a spot on the map.
“Oh, this just grows more and more dreadful by the minute,” cried Rarity. “I can’t bear to think of the children in that dreary place.”
“It ain’t that bad, and it’s out of the wind,” said Applejack. “But if we’re lookin’ for something hidden then we have to leave the marked path and hike through the unknown Forest.”
“Well, that sounds adventurous,” said the Professor. He reached into his saddle bag and produced a pith helmet, which he donned. “For Adventure!”
“Why weren’t you at the Daring Do convention?” asked Tim.
“Oh, the day’s programming was all about fanfiction, and I find most of that very poorly written. But I was hoping to pop in and enjoy the filk singing tonight.”
“Fern, Darling, would you please come out and help lead us?” coaxed Rarity. “We will need a pony at the front who can keep us from walking into poison joke, or worse.”
Fern was beginning to calm down, but they lost her again when something deep in the forest called.
"Oogie, oogie, oogie!”
#
“Oh, lookie!” cried Pinkie, pointing to a tree. “A Royal Equestrian Mail Service trail mark,”
“Really?” said Twilight. “What does it mean?”
“I dunno,” said Pinkie. “I can’t read trail marks, Silly.”
“Explain to me again why I can’t search from the air,” complained Sky. “It would be so much faster than all this walking.”
“It’s dangerous, Sky,” said Twilight.
“I hate being down here in the trees! There’s no room to fly. C’mon, I want to be useful. Let me do my stuff.”
“The government of Equestria has been attempting to survey the Everfree Forest from the air for almost two hundred years,” said Mustang. He sounded as if he was reciting an official report. “All efforts have failed. All teams reported disorientation, and required aid in finding their way home. Three teams never returned.”
James Mustang was a Captain in the Royal Guard. Sky had made the mistake of saying of his uniform (golden armor and all) “Nice costume!” Mustang had snapped “It’s not a costume.” Things had been prickly between them ever since.
“They call it the ‘Green Fever,’” explained Twilight. “Some ponies think it’s psychological, it comes from there being nothing but treetops for as far as the eye can see. Others think it’s magic, possibly even a curse. It could be a combination of both. But no pegasus flies over the Everfree Forest without getting lost.”
“I’m not afraid,” protested Sky. “I’ll run a quick spiral pattern and come back.”
“Oh, just let her go,” said Dirk Chick. Or perhaps it was Dagger Chick. No pony could tell the griffon twins apart. Some thought that even if you guessed right about which griffon was which the Chick brothers would lie and switch names.
“Fine,” grumbled Twilight. “Once around, then straight back.”
“Alright!” cried Sky. Without another word she zoomed away.
A moment later they could hear her, above the canopy, roar past.
A moment after that Sky again flew right over them and kept on going.
Seconds later she flew by again, this time going in a different direction.
“Twi,” said Big Mac. “We’re going to have to guide her in.”
“Great. Pinkie, would you do the honors?”
“I’d be delighted!” Pinkie produced a handful of fireworks from her bag and shot them through the treetops.
Sky soon appeared, following the smoke trail left by the Roman candles through the leaves. “Wow!” she exclaimed as she settled to the forest floor next to the rest of the Red Team. “You really can’t tell anything from anything else up there. I’d have never found you guys again without that signal.”
“So you didn’t see anything? It was just a waste of time?” asked Dirk (or maybe Dagger) Chick.
“Well, what I didn’t see might be important,” said Sky. “If the kids were in trouble you would think they would light a signal fire. Or maybe use a mirror to flash at me. There was nothing.”
“Yeah, right, you can actually see that much detail when you’re going fast,” sneered Dagger (or maybe Dirk) Chick.
“I saw that the Green Team has gotten to the clearing,” said Sky. “Hey, doesn’t the map say it’s supposed to be a meadow? It looked like a big sand pit to me.”
Twilight frowned, and chewed her lip thoughtfully at this news.
“I also saw Dr. Stalker’s camp. No sign of the Blue Team. Either those losers were taking a nap under Stalker’s tent, or they haven’t gotten there yet.”
“Or they have already been there and moved on,” said Mustang.
Sky made a rude noise. “Not likely!”
“We should move on,” said Big Mac. Without waiting for further comment he started walking. Of course everypony else followed.
They soon came to Zecora’s cottage. It was a shocking, chaotic mess.
Everything that could break had been broken and everything not nailed down had been knocked over. There was no sign of Zecora.
“It looks like your friend the zebra put up a pretty good fight, but she lost in the end,” said Mustang.
The Chick brothers sniffed the air. “There’s no blood,” said one of them.
“There are stains from spills everywhere, but all of it is dry,” noted Twilight. “And the hearth and the fire for the cauldron are cold. This happened days ago.”
“Something was dragged through here,” said Big Mac. He followed the short trail of crushed plants to the stump of a small tree. “They cut this down to make a carry pole.”
“So, we’re too late to do any good here,” said one of the Chick brothers.
“We’re going to quit and go home now?” asked the other.
Big Mac snorted. “That’ll be the day.”
“There’s no hoof prints,” noted Mustang. “The field trip didn’t come this way.”
“Oh, well, looks like we don’t get to save the kids. That’s too bad. Who wants to buy the first round of cider…?”
“Oh, shut up. We’re not going home, Dagger,” snapped Sky.
“I’m Dirk.”
“Whatever.”
“Who would do this?” cried Twilight.
“Why don’t you ask the pony watching us from the bushes?” suggested Pinkie.
This startled whoever was spying on them, but before she could flee the Chick twins shouted “Get ‘em!” and pounced.
They soon had her pinned to the ground. Sky hovered above them, ready to strike if the tall, grey unicorn got free.
“Stop struggling!” ordered Mustang. “You are being detained as a suspect in a possible kidnapping.”
“You define ‘detained’ as sitting on me? Let me go, I didn’t do anything!”
“Hi, Relic!” called Pinkie. “How have you been?”
“What? Oh, hello, Pinkie,” said the captive. “I’m sorry, but I’ll need some more time with your watch. There’s still a problem with the winding mechanism.”
“You know this unicorn?” asked Mustang.
“Her name is Old Relic,” answered Big Mac. “She fixes clocks. You really should let her up.”
“Oh, gosh, she must have fixed every clock in Ponyville at least once,” said Pinkie. “Yeah, we all know her. Relic lives out here in the Forest, but really she’s just like one of our neighbors. Please stop crushing her.”
“Yes, could you get these black-bottomed buzzards off of me, please?”
“She’s a spy!” exclaimed one of the Chick brothers. “Let’s drag her back to Ponyville and lock her up!”
“I wasn’t spying, I was being cautious,” protested Relic. “What would you do, if you found your friend’s cottage ransacked, and a bunch of ponies and such, half of them strangers, wandering around the wreckage?”
“Well, that does sound reasonable,” said Twilight. “Guys, let her up.”
“But she’s our prisoner, we caught her fair and square!”
“Let Her Up!” shouted most of the Red Team.
Because of their hard beaks a griffon cannot pout, but the Chick twins managed to convey the impression that they were pouting. Still, they let Relic up.
Old Relic got to her hooves and began brushing leaves and black and white feathers out of her brown mane.
“I’m very sorry, Ma’am. I hope we didn’t hurt you,” said Sky. “Do you really live out here in the Everfree?”
“Yep, I live here for the peace and quiet,” answered Relic. “Not that I’ve gotten a lot of that lately. First there was those pegasi, taking samples and measuring things everywhere. Mind you, they’ve been reasonably quiet and polite. Good neighbors. But then came those diamond dogs. What pests, with their digging and stirring up the wildlife! Now I’ve got all you ponies out here, practically holding a parade! I’ve half a mind to move…”
“Wait, back up,” interrupted Twilight. “Diamond dogs?”
“Oh, yes, a score or two of them,” said Relic. “They have a camp of sorts off that way. Luckily, I never go there.”
Twilight considered the map, and gasped when she realized what location Relic was talking about. “Wonderful. What else could go wrong?”
“Oogie, oogie, oogie!”
#
“Quiz, don’t stand under the air shaft,” said Shadow. “You’ll get zapped again, and we can’t have you frying that pretty brain of yours.”
“The interference will not last forever, and I must continue trying to send a signal home until I succeed.” Quiz stopped and stared at Shadow. “Wait, what was it you said about my brain?”
“I think it’s very pretty.” Shadow gave Quiz a grin that could be seen in the dark.
“I fear I do not get the joke.”
“It wasn’t a joke, it was flattery.”
“Oh.” Quiz seemed confused. “Is this something you tell all of the fillies?”
“Only the smart ones,” laughed Shadow. “Most fillies would prefer I notice something else.”
“I believe I understand,” said Quiz. “Despite your protest to the contrary, it is obvious that you are making a joke. Someday, when we have more time, I may ask you to explain what is so funny.”
Shadow sighed. “Take it that way if you insist, Quiz.”
Quiz set her horn aglow. This time the blue-green aura went all the way to her hooves before Quiz canceled the spell. “My… what an extraordinary… sensation…”
“Quiz, are you okay?”
“Yes, but you may be right. I might not be able to do that again.” Quiz stamped her hooves, each step released sparks until Quiz had gotten rid of the extra magic she had apparently absorbed.
Shadow looked up the air shaft. “Is the sun setting already?” Wandering in the diamond dog tunnels had confused his sense of time.
“No, I believe something is sitting on the grate, blocking the top.”
A call echoed down the shaft.
“Oogie, oogie, oogie!”
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I get the feeling everyone is converging on the same location.
Or the location is converging on everypony....
Oogie oogie oogie!
Wonder what that is?
2091701 A galumpalump of course.
First reader to get reference may have their OC pony written into my next story.
Too many OCs. Can't take it. I'm bailing. Pity, I liked the other Quiz stories.
2091988
Give us a hint?
2092397
ಠ__ಠ
2092457 You hint is, if you have a little sister she might complain that I got the name wrong.
Oompahloompah? The little orange things from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? That's the only thing that comes to mind with such an odd name.
monicarodgers.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/oompaloompa1.png
This sexy beast.
2096948
The problem here is, you don't know my little sister.
I got nothing, so here is a shot in the dark. BUSHWOOLIES!
2098175 Nope. Gee, he doesn't look anything like Deep Roy.
2098325 No. Bushwoolies are a known species, ponies would never get them confused with Galumpalumps (or maybe it's Gumber Lumps).
2098481>>2098490
You know, I'm certain the last few words of each of these sentences are hints, but I apparently do not know the series/creature in question. Ah, just as well. I don't have an OC built yet anyway.
2098490
OH! You were serious when you said it was a galumpalump. Or Grumpalump. Or whatevs.
It's a silliy point I know, but I can't imagine Rarity on the GREEN team. I would think she'd prefer blue.
Ohey, did you forgot a certain collection of old magical artifacts you and your friends picked up around these parts? You know, the ones you used to save the world a couple of times?
Some small remarks:
> "The rough path opened into small clearing"
Looks like a word is missing between "into" and "small".
> old mare’s tales
should be "old mares' tales"
-The "Oogie, oogie, oogie!" right after "Fern was beginning to calm down" is missing its opening quote
Oh these teams won't get anything done.
They are all just popn outta the wood works.
The meta is strong in this one...
Ahhh!
The amount of characters!
It hurts my head!
The meta in this story is getting real.