> Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom
>  by JMac
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1  Into The Deep, Dark Forest
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 


 


Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom






Chapter 1  Into The Deep, Dark Forest


 

                
“Alright, children, let’s see if I can find the handsome fella who lives here.”
                
The foals watched the khaki colored pegasus wade up to his barrel into the small pond.   He seemed utterly indifferent to the water and the mud, and he continued a cheerful monologue as got deeper and deeper into the pond.
                
The foals crowded along the bank, as near the water as they dared (it had been made very clear that there was at least one crocodile here).  None of them took their eyes off the stallion for a second. 
                
They all watched him closely, not because he was obviously mad and needed to be kept under observation, but because he was Shady Stalker, the most famous naturalist in Equestria.
                
“Ah, here we go,” cried Dr. Stalker, suddenly standing up on his hind legs.  In his fore legs he held a crocodile pinned against his barrel.  Including its tail it was as long as he was.  “Behold, children, the rare Everfree crocodile.  Isn’t he a beauty?  Let me bring him out where you all can have a better look at this little guy.”
                
He sloshed back to shore, the reptile in his grasp putting up surprising little fight.  Once back on land, Shady set the crocodile down in the middle of clear spot, holding it only by the tip of its tail.  The crocodile twisted and made one experimental snap at its captor.  When Shady easily danced out of the way the crocodile seemed to give up; though as it lay still it gaped and groaned, as if to indicate that while it would put up with this for the moment it was not happy.  “Form a circle, children.  No closer than his length, or he can reach you.  And please, none of you smile.  For most crocs it’s an old mare’s tale, but never smile at an Everfree crocodile.  They really don’t like it.  No one knows why.  Now, can any of you tell me what’s special about this animal?”
                
“Oooh, is it because he’s not the scariest thing in the forest?” answered Snips, without waiting to be called on.  “There’s monsters out here that can eat him whole!”
                
“Well, yes, but that wasn’t what I was looking for.  It’s true the Everfree is probably the only place where a crocodile isn’t the apex predator.  But once he reaches his full length at about four to six pony lengths most of the Forest’s denizens are likely to leave him alone.  But we’ll get back to that.  How about you, Dear?” Shady pointed to a small grey unicorn filly.  “What do you think makes the Everfree croc unique?”
               
 “Um, well, um,” began Quizzical Greystone.  “Is it that they are cold weather adapted, Dr. Stalker?”
                
At the beginning of their field trip that morning Quiz had brought Shady her copies of three of his books and shyly asked him to sign them (Quiz actually owned all 16 of his books, but most of them were in the family library back home in Canterlot).  Ever since then, Quiz had become Shady’s ‘go to girl’ when he wanted to call on somepony.  He thought that, since she was a fan, he was doing her a favor.
                
It was almost too much for Quiz.  She had made a great deal of progress since moving to Ponyville; her social anxiety was no longer crippling, most of the time.  But it had taken all her courage just to ask for an autograph.  The constant attention from the celebrity scientist taxed the very limits of Quiz’s resolve not to slip away and hide.
                
“Spot on, young Miss.  But did I not ask you all to please call me Shady?”
                
“Yes, you did, Dr. Stalker.”
                
“Well, then?”
                
“Er… well, then what, Dr. Stalker?”
                
“Never mind.  Anyway, the Everfree croc is the only crocodilian that doesn’t live at or near the tropics.  This little guy will burrow down into the mud and sleep through the winter freeze. Step back, children, I’m going to let him get back to the hard work of stuffing himself to prepare for the winter.”  Sandy pointed the crocodile’s snout towards the water and let go of his tail.  The croc needed no prompting, and dashed back into his pond.
                
“Oh, oh!” called Snails.  “Are there fresh water squid in this pond?  Will we get to see them fight?”
                
Shady sighed.  “No, Sonny, we aren’t going to see a fight.  Can anypony tell us…where’d she go?”  Since he couldn’t see Quiz, who was hiding behind Snails, he answered his own question.  “This pond is much too shallow for fresh water squid.  Also, we aren’t here to see animals fight.  You should remember that not all of nature is red of tooth and claw, even in the Everfree Forest.  We need to move on, but I can show you what I mean as we walk.”


#

                
Despite Shady making her uncomfortable, Quiz was enjoying the field trip.  She always enjoyed school field trips, and some ponies would say that the duller they were the better Quiz liked them.  None of Quiz’s friends would ever say such a thing, but even they might think it.
                
Quiz liked how the Forest’s terrain rolled and rambled, and there were many rock outcrops rising among the trees.  Geology was Quiz’s favorite science, and she found it pleasing to see how the sedimentary layers differed from those in nearby Ponyville.  As she walked Quiz had her notebook hovering just ahead of her nose, her quill darting across the pages.  Quiz rarely forgot anything, but she still compulsively wrote everything down.
                
Quiz was very good at multi-tasking; but taking in the scenery, and attending to Shady’s every word, and examining the layers of strata in every outcrop, and keeping up her notes, and watching where she was going spread her attention a bit too far.  Something had to suffer, and the lapse came in the thing that held Quiz’s attention the least.
                
Quiz wasn’t watching where she was going and walked head first into a tree.


#

                
“Quiz, are you Ok?”  Since Sweetie Belle first met Quiz not a single day had gone by without her at least once looking down at her friend, who was for some reason lying on the ground, and asking that question.  Frustratingly, Quiz always answered the same way.
                
“I will be fine,” said Quiz.  She squinted at the forest of pony legs now surrounding her.  “However, I seem to be having trouble with my vision… oh.  Could somepony help me find my glasses?”
                
Apple Bloom moved to stand next to Quiz and asked, “Can you manage on your own or do you need help up, Quiz?”  Of Quiz’s friends Apple Bloom took the most pragmatic view Quiz’s aptitude for accident.  ‘She hasn’t killed herself yet, so she probably never will,’ Apple Bloom was fond of saying.
                
“I can manage,” answered Quiz.  “It was a very slow collision.”
                
Once Quiz was standing Sweetie Belle stepped up to her and began brushing dead leaves from Quiz’s coat.  “I really wish you’d stop doing stuff like that this!” she whined.  Sweetie Belle did not take a pragmatic view of Quiz’s many accidents.  Each minor mishap triggered a flashback to much scarier close calls.
                
One of the two class chaperones came and took charge at this point.  “Please hold still, Quiz, and let me look you over,” said Fluttershy.  Quiz suffered her tender ministrations stoically.  “You’re going to have a tender spot and it’s going to raise a welt, but it shouldn’t hurt too very much if you just don’t touch it.”  Fluttershy fished a jar of salve out of her saddle bag and gently placed a small dollop on Quiz’s forehead.  “There.  How does that feel, Quiz?”
                
“That feels quite nice, thank you Miss Fluttershy.”
                
Pipsqueak ran up to them, waving Quiz’s notebook.  “I found this in the bushes, Miss Quizzical.  It flew a long way!  But I didn’t see your quill anywhere.”
                
“Thank you very much, Pip,” said Quiz, reaching for the notebook.  “And I have several spare quills…”
                
Fluttershy reached out to stop her from taking the notebook.  “Now, Quiz, I know Twilight has spoken to you about this.  What did she tell you?”
                
“’Do not take notes while crossing streets,’” recited Quiz.  “That is not what I was doing, Miss Fluttershy.”
                
“Don’t be picky, Quiz,” said Fluttershy, gently.  “I think the same lesson applies here.”  She frowned at Quiz.  It was a frown that could break your heart.  “Am I going to have to take it away from you?”
                
“No, Miss Fluttershy.”  Quiz took the notebook and slipped it away in her saddle bag.
                
Satisfied that Quiz could probably get through the rest of the trip unharmed, Fluttershy trotted off and began to have a quiet word with Cheerilee. 
                
“Here, Miss, I found these for you,” said a young colt, holding Quiz’s glasses.
                
Shadow Seeker was Shady’s number one assistant, and his son.  Shadow was a couple of years older than the foals in Cheerilee’s class.  He was very handsome, with a charcoal coat and a dark red mane and tail.  He had not said very much, leaving all the talking to his father, but when he did speak Shadow came across as charming and witty.  Half of the class had been preening for and fawning over him through the field trip.
                
Quiz had not been part of that half.
                
Shadow reached out to put the glasses on Quiz’s face but she recoiled and backed away from him.  After a moment Shadow just handed Quiz the glasses and let her put them on herself.  “You really shook the leaves off that tree,” he said.  “Of course, it serves him right, after the way he jumped in front of you.”
                
Quiz stared at him.  “Are you making a joke?”
                
“Yeah.” Shadow was grinning from ear to ear.  “But I understand why you have to ask.  You can never tell, not with the trees or anything else.  Not in the Everfree.”
                
Quiz responded with a modest smile.  For her, this was the equivalent to laughing out loud.
                
Shady called his name, and Shadow said “Well, back to work.  Glad you’re okay, Miss.” Then he ran to see what his father needed.
                
“Well!” huffed Diamond Tiara.  “Some fillies will do anything for attention!”
                
“Oh, shut up, Diamond,” snapped Apple Bloom.  “You know full well Quiz would do anything to avoid attention.”
                
Sweetie Belle caught Quiz’s eye and began making scribbling motions in the air, signaling that she wanted Quiz to send her a ‘Note.’
                
Quiz had created a variation of her Magic Blackboard spell which she called ‘Notes.’  Quite simply, the spell allowed one pony to send a magic note to another.  Sweetie Belle couldn’t cast the spell herself; but she could respond if Quiz sent her a Note, and she didn’t have to sing to activate the magic, she merely had to hum.
                
Sweetie Belle wanted to use the spell to pass notes in class.  This was an application Quiz had never intended, and she couldn’t convince Sweetie Belle that Miss Cheerilee would not be fooled by glowing magic notes hovering under the desks.  Also, Sweetie Belle wanted Quiz to send her a Note every night after they got home from school.  Quiz found that if she did then Sweetie Belle would want to chat all evening.
                
However, Quiz was curious about what Sweetie Belle wanted, so she sent the Note.


“?”

                
Soon, there was a little leaf of note paper, glowing a pretty blue, hovering in front of Quiz.


“Isn’t he dreamy?”

                
It took Quiz a moment to work out a response.


“Do you mean Shadow?  Yes, I suppose he is quite handsome.”

                
Sweetie Belle was grinning maniacally as she composed her response.


“I think Shadow likes you!”

                
Quiz ended the conversation by not responding.


#

                
“Are you still angry?” asked Cheerilee.
                
“A little bit,” admitted Fluttershy.  In fact, she had been fuming through the entire field trip, but this being Fluttershy nopony noticed.  “It really isn’t fair.  This was supposed to be my year.”
                
Fluttershy had been trying to organize a school field trip to White Tail Wood for years.  The Parent – Teacher Association had dragged their feet and found excuses to put off the excursion again and again, but this year Fluttershy had been certain that it was finally going to happen.
                
There were so many wonderful things in the Wood, and Fluttershy had been just dying to show them to the children.  The beavers had expanded their dam, and it really was a marvelous construction.  This had increased the size of Willow Lake, and water fowl were nesting on the lake in record numbers.  Fluttershy had also set out a salt lick in a wide clearing, and you could almost always find yearling fawn frolicking in that meadow.  It would have been, and should have been, wonderful.
                
Then celebrity naturalist Shady Stalker had swooped into a town meeting and turned everypony’s head.
                
Shady was eager to promote his survey of the Everfree Forest.  He swore up and down that he had mapped out a section of the Forest that was safe to visit, and he offered to take anypony who wanted on a tour.   Before Fluttershy knew what was happening everypony had forgotten all about Whitetail Wood.
                
Fluttershy was actually in favor of Shady’s natural survey.  It was long overdue and still ridiculously underfunded and staffed only by Shady and Shadow.  She just didn’t want it promoted at her expense.
                
What was most irritating was that the Mayor had jumped on this idea because the Everfree Forest promised exciting possibilities for tourism.  Whitetail Wood offered some of the finest nature hiking in Equestria, but it wasn’t exciting.  It was just safe.
                
Fluttershy didn’t believe anything could ever make the Everfree Forest safe.
                
The Mayor even asked for ideas for a tourism motto.  Fluttershy had suggested, “Come to the Everfree Forest.  You might accidentally get killed.”  It was the last time she would get called on during that meeting.
                
Fluttershy stomped her hoof at the memory.  This disturbed a dead leaf.
                
“There, there,” said Cheerilee in her best soothing voice.  She had worries of her own.  There were two conventions in Ponyville that day and all but two of the volunteer chaperones had dropped out.  Cheerilee needed to keep Fluttershy focused.  “At least it’s been an entertaining excursion.  Shady is quite the showman.”
                
“Show off is more like it,” grumbled Fluttershy, who immediately thought better of it.  “Oh, dear, was that too harsh?  I don’t mean to be too harsh.”
                
In fact, Fluttershy had to admit to a growing admiration for Shady’s skills.  He was the best animal handler she had ever seen, and he had a wealth of knowledge that he presented engagingly. 
                
However, Fluttershy thought it was a shame he was so clownish.


#

                
“When you think of the Everfree Forest you tend to think of monsters,” lectured Shady.  “And perhaps that is a healthy attitude.  But the Everfree is a very lively and varied ecosystem.  It is filled with wonderful animals, and only a small percentage of them will actually try to eat you.”
                
Faster than the eye could follow Shady snapped up something off a tree branch.  He turned and held up for everypony’s inspection a bright green frog that was almost as big as his head.  “There’s this pretty little girl, for instance.  She’s a giant flying tree toad.”
                
The frog jumped from Shady’s hooves and took a perch atop his head.  Its membranous wings draped over the sides of his face, making it look as if Shady was wearing a lime colored bathing cap – with eyes.
                
Shady lowered his head and stepped closer to the foals forming a half circle in front of him.  “Go ahead and touch her, she doesn’t bite.  That’s unlike her close relative, the giant flying vampire frog.  You can tell them apart only from her cousin’s protruding fangs.  Oh, and also from the fact that she’s not trying to get at my throat for some dinner.  Shadow, could you please get her off me before she marks her territory in my mane?”
                
Shadow rushed forward to remove the frog from his father’s hair and return her to her tree.
                
Shady called on Snails.  “You, Sonny.  You look like a fella who knows his creeping mollusks.  Did you know the largest slug in Equestria lives in this forest?”
                
“Sure,” said Snails.  “Limax caddis rex, the stone gatherer slug.”  Snails could surprise you with his knowledge, but only if you asked him about gastropods.
                
“Right,” said Shady.  “So named because they build shells by gluing together stones they pick up.  Would you like to see one?”
                
“Boy, would I, Shady!”
                
“Good, because your friend is leaning on one.”
                
Snips shrieked and jumped away from the pile of rocks he was resting against.  The rocks rose slightly off the ground and began to glide slowly off the path and into the undergrowth.  The slug made a noise that sound like an indignant “Harumph!”
                
“The Everfree isn’t as dangerous as you have been told, children,” said Shady.  “But it’s still a good idea to be careful what you touch.”
                
Shady noticed a pegasus mare whispering to a little purple unicorn, she seemed to be urging the little one to put her hoof up.  He heard the girl’s harsh whisper, “Mom!  I’ll look stupid if I ask that!”
                
Shady called on them.  “Do you two have a question?”
                
Dinky shook her head stubbornly, so Derpy sighed and asked for her.  “Shady, have you ever seen a galumpalump?”
                
Silver Spoon laughed and Diamond Tiara snorted derisively, but there was a chorus of agreement from the rest of the class.  Clearly, they were all grateful someone had dared ask.
                
“Sorry, guys.  I haven’t seen, heard, or found any signs left by the legendary galumpalump.  That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, or has been misidentified.  The Forest is filled with undiscovered species.  But I no one outside of Ponyville has ever heard of the galumpalump.  I think it’s just a local legend.”
                
“But, Shady,” Fluttershy politely interjected.  “Everypony who lives near the Forest’s edge has heard the galumpalump call at least once.  I’ve heard it three times.  Those were very scary nights.”
                
At the mention of the galumpalump’s call many of the children responded with their best imitation.  “Oogie, oogie, oogie!”
                
“Yes, but the galumpalump is most often heard near Nightmare Night,” Shady pointed out.  “And I couldn’t help noticing the Ponyville Joke Shoppe sells a galumpalump call.  However, if you are all keen to see a real Everfree Forest monster then follow me.  I’ll introduce you to her.  We call her Martha.”


#

                
“Shadow, what sort of tree is this?”
                
“Shadow, what’s this flower called?”
                
“Is my tiara on straight, Shadow?”
                
“Do you like working in the Forest, Shadow?”
                
“Do you visit Ponyville often, Shadow?”
                
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes.  “Just look at those two, makin’ a spectacle of themselves.”
                
“It’s what Diamond and Silver do best,” noted Sweetie Belle.
                
Scootaloo laughed.  “You’re just mad because you want to make a spectacle of yourself!”
                
“He is really cute,” admitted Sweetie Belle, dreamily.  “Don’t you think so, Quiz?”
                
“He is very clever,” said Quiz.  “Has anypony else notice that Shadow seems to be the only one who knows where we are going?”


#

                
“Not that way, Dad,” called Shadow.  “Martha’s clearing is to the left.”
                
“What’s this way?”
                
“The giant spiders, Dad.”
                
“Oh.  Well, let’s save that for later, maybe…”
                
“Giant spiders!” gasped Pipsqueak.  “Cool!”
                
Half the class heartily agreed and the other half went “Eww!”
                
“Yes, there’s a colony of big top spiders this way.  They get the name from the huge tent like webs they build, and their colorful markings, which remind some ponies of circus clowns.  It’s really most impressive, with at least 100 individuals in the colony and a ‘tent’ anchored by five ancient trees.  But we need to hurry if we want to catch Martha in a good mood.”
                
Shady looked up to check the sun’s position.  He could barely see it through the canopy.  “Martha is a manticore with a litter of four kittens.  We have been slowly gaining her trust, but we still need to approach her carefully.  She has a clearing with a big, flat rock in it.  This time of day the sun strikes it just right; and Martha likes to sun herself and rest while the kits play in the grass.  If we’re all very, very quiet she’ll let us watch until she’s finished her afternoon lie down.”
                
Shady led them, dramatically creeping slowly forward, exaggerating every careful step, until they rounded a bend and were in the clearing.
                
It was empty.
                
There was the clearing.  There was the high grass, much off it flattened as if large animals had been frolicking there.  There was the flat rock, catching the afternoon sun perfectly.
                
There were no manticores.
                
“I did warn you, Dad,” said Shadow.  “She’s been acting all skittish lately.  I think she’s moved her den and found a new hiding place for the kits.”
                
“I should have seen it,” muttered Shady.  “The whole Forest is on edge, you can sense it.  Something’s been stirring things up.”
                
“Oh, well,” said Cheerilee, trying her best not to sound disappointed.  “At least this looks like a lovely spot to have lunch.”


#

                
The children sat on and around the big flat rock and ate from the brown bags their parents had prepared for them.  Some ate slowly, as it had been a long walk and they were tired.  Other ponies ate quickly, eager to get back to the tour.  They had missed out on the manticores, but there were still giant spiders to see.
                
Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara, and some of the other fillies tried to chat up Shadow.
                
Sweetie Belle noticed Quiz staring off into the distance, her ears scanning the air.  “What is it, Quiz?”
                
“It should not be so quiet,” said Quiz.  “There should be bird song, and insects…”
                
She did not finish.  The ground began to shake.
                
The boulder disappeared into the ground and the whole clearing began to slide in after it.  Somepony screamed “Run!” but it was much too late for that.  They were all soon tumbling down a deep, dark pit.


> Chapter 2  Pony-napped
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom



Chapter 2 Pony-napped


 

                
At the bottom of the pit was some sort of corridor.  Shadowy figures immediately rousted the little ponies to their hooves, but before they were all standing the sun had already disappeared, the pit’s opening had been closed.  The ponies were herded up the corridor towards a spot lit with torches.
                
Once they were gone Quiz stepped out of a shadow.  “You are very good.”
                
“Good?” exclaimed Shadow, emerging from a dark space by the wall opposite Quiz.  “You’re amazing!  I want to play hide and seek with you!”
                
Quiz watched the other ponies being hustled away.  She wiped her eyes.  “It is… painful to hide while my friends are taken away.  Yet I believe they would encourage me to do so if they could.  Things will not go well for them, but capture would be much worse for me.”
                
“So, you recognize the kidnappers. You know these guys?”
                
“Oh, yes, we have met.  It is unlikely that I am remembered fondly.”


#

                
Fluttershy did a quick head count.  She had only had time to grab one child and take flight.  Derpy had used her wings to push three more out of the clearing.  Shady had been the furthest from anypony and had only had the chance to save himself.  And that was it.  Cheerilee and all the rest of the foals were gone.
                
“Mom, was that an earthquake?” asked Dinky.
                
“I don’t think so, Muffin.  It was more like a tornado, except it was underground.”
                
“This was no act of nature,” declared Shady.  He was inspecting the clearing.  “The sod was torn up until there was nothing left but loose sand.  Then it was all packed back together.  All of this was done from below.  This wasn’t a natural occurrence. This was a deliberate abduction.”
                
“An abduction by subduction?” asked Derpy.  “But only one race can do that.”
                
“We’re nowhere near their territory,” exclaimed Fluttershy.  “And we have a treaty!”
                
“Well, it happened,” stated Shady.  “And they’ll probably soon figure out that they didn’t get everypony.  They’ll come looking for us, so we have to get out of here.”
                
“Alright.”  Fluttershy set to work organizing the children.  “Everypony stay together.  Do you all have a traveling buddy?”
               
“We can’t go back the way we came,” said Derpy.  “Not if we’re being hunted.  The path back to Ponyville will be where they look for us.”
                
Shady nodded.  “There’s a little game trail that’ll take us back to town.  They shouldn’t find us there.”
                
“Are you sure you can find it, Shady?” asked Fluttershy, warily. 
                
“Sure,” he answered.  “If you will all kindly follow me.” 
                
With that, Shady pushed through the undergrowth at the edge of the path, and began trekking through the wild, unmarked forest.  The two mares urged the children after him, and then brought up the rear.
                
Shady was a bit of a gambler.  He knew the trail was in one of two directions, and he thought he would get lucky.


#

                
Cheerilee was led to the front of the group of ponies and presented to a hulking figure standing in the middle of the corridor.  He scowled at her.  “You are the teacher?”
                
“Yes, I am.  My name is Cheerilee.”
                
“I am Chief Bowser.”  The diamond dog grinned.  His grin was much more frightening than his scowl.  “The pretty little teacher pony will remember Bowser’s name, and Bowser has already forgotten her’s.”
                
“My name is Cheerilee…”
                
Bowser cut her off with a laugh.  It was an unpleasant sound.  “It is very cute how the pretty little teacher pony thinks Bowser cares enough to remember that.”
                
Cheerilee bristled.  “I demand that you set us free immediately.”
                
“Do you now?  And here Bowser was about to thank the pretty little teacher pony for offering the services of her little students to help poor Chief Bowser.”
                
The diamond dogs all laughed.
                
“What do you want from us?”
                
“Chief Bowser is in a bind,” said the diamond dog.  “He must make a delivery tonight and he has been made very late by meddling pegasi.  To return to our delivery schedule Bowser’s diamond dogs will need help hauling our product.  The little ponies will do that for us.”
                
“You want the children to haul carts?!  You can’t expect that!”
                
“Bowser can’t?  That is very odd, as that is exactly what Bowser was expecting.  Just as the pretty little teacher pony is probably expecting to return her students safely to their parents.  She should know that both of us will have our expectations met, or neither of us will.”
                
Bowser raised his voice to address the foals.  “If you like your teacher you will do as you are told.  If you disobey you will be punished, and she will be punished three times over.”  He leaned close to Cheerilee’s face and gave her his most sympathetic smile.  It was the most terrifying expression he had shown her so far.  “Bowser hopes the pretty little teacher pony’s students like her a lot.”
                
“You’ll never get away with this!”
                
“Bowser just knew the pretty little teacher pony would say that!”  Again, all the diamond dogs laughed.  “Bowser is disappointed.  You ponies are showing no sympathy at all for Bowser, when all Bowser wants is to make his delivery on time.  Good customer service is important, after all.”
                
The diamond dogs laughed again, but it was more of a polite laugh this time as Bowser had lost most of them.
                
“But it does not matter.  Bowser is done asking nicely.  But Bowser has one last question.  Where is the Quizzical?”
                
“What?”
                
“The Quizzical, the worthless pony, where is she?  Bowser does not see her.  Where is she?”
                
“Quiz, had a problem with her permission slip.  Her parents live far out of town, in Canterlot, we didn’t get the signed paperwork in time.  Quiz wasn’t allowed to come with us.”
                
Cheerilee was a terrible liar (something she considered a virtue) and only got away with this because it was almost true.  Quiz only made the field trip because her parents could afford a fast pegasus courier to hand deliver the signed permission slip.  Cheerilee was only lying by omitting the single word ‘almost.’
                
“It really is a lot of silly bureaucratic nonsense, and entirely unfair to poor Quiz.  Twilight Sparkle has been able to sign for her on several matters, but the school insisted on their rules…”
                
“Enough!  Bowser does not have the time to pretend not to be bored.  But it is a pity.  Bowser was looking forward to seeing just how much the worthless pony could be forced to haul.”
                
“You… you beast!” gasped Cheerilee.
                
“Thank you,” said Bowser, who got another laugh.  “Reader, come here.”
                
A slim diamond dog hurried over to them.  “Yes, Chief Bowser?”
                
“You are to watch the pretty little teacher pony and see that she behaves.”  Bowser turned back to Cheerilee.  “This is Reader.  We call him Reader because he reads.  You might even like him.  If the pretty little teacher pony cannot resist speaking she may speak to him.”
                
The interview over, Bowser stomped over to speak to one of his lieutenants.  “Dagget, how many escaped?”
                
“Two of the bigger ponies and some of the small ones, Chief Bowser.  The small ones are hard to count, perhaps three, perhaps five.  The two troublesome ones, the flying ponies, are also free.”
                
Bowser expressed his displeasure by punching Dagget in the nose.  “Fix this!  Take Alpha and Digger and try to catch them.  If you cannot catch them, do not let them get to the pony town.  Waste no time, you must meet us when we reach the staging area.  Now go!”
                
Dagget and the others hurried to obey, or at least to get away from Bowser. 
                
“As for the rest of you!” screamed Bowser.  “What are you all still doing standing here?!  Move!”


#

                
“We must decide how best to use our freedom to help our friends,” said Quiz.  “I suggest we follow them at a discreet distance.”
                
“I don’t like the sound of that,” answered Shadow.  “It sounds like the easiest way to get caught.  And I’m not a big fan of being underground. I say we find the nearest tunnel to the surface and we book it back to Ponyville.”
                
Quiz shook her head.  “Diamond dog tunnels are confusing.  If we do not keep an eye on our friends we will lose them and never find them again.  At least one of us must follow them.”
                
“Well we aren’t going to split up.  We stick together.”
                
“Then let us follow, as I suggested, and hope that those still on the surface can escape and reach Ponyville.”
                
“Ok, but…” Shadow hesitated.  “Can either of the chaperones find their way home?”
                
“I very much doubt that.  Can your father not find the way?”
                
“Um…. well, you see, that’s a problem.”


#

                
“Are you sure the trail is this way, Shady?” asked Fluttershy.   “I don’t mean to complain, and certainly wouldn’t want to suggest that anything is wrong, but it does seem as if we have been hiking for a very long time.”
                
“I’m reasonably sure,” said Shady.  He stopped and looked up, as if to get his bearings.  This was a pointless exercise as he couldn’t possibly see the sun through the canopy.  “I just forgot how far it was, is all.  Maybe we should have left the clearing heading west instead of north.  I think the trail is closer where it wraps around that side.  Oh, well.”
                
Travel wasn’t too terribly difficult, as the canopy was so thick very little light reached the Forest’s floor and the undergrowth was thin in most places.  But some surprisingly gnarly brambles had adapted to growing in the dark and these formed impassable barriers.  There were also fallen trees, huge rocks, ferns three times a pony’s size, spider webs five times a pony’s size (though, luckily so far no actual spiders), and a host of other obstructions.  Travel in a straight line was impossible.  The little party only managed to advance a few steps at a time before encountering something else they had to walk around.  Fluttershy was certain that every time they turned to go around something they drifted a little further off course.
                
“You say this trail runs parallel to the path home on the north side?”
                
“Oh, yes, I’m quite certain of that.”
                
“And that would have been a right turn out of the clearing?”
                
Shady had to stop and think about it.  “Yes, that’s correct.”
                
“Um… Shady?  You’re pointing to the left.”
                
“What?  Oh… er…” Shady looked at the left hoof he had been gesturing with, and blushed.  “Well, if you aren’t confident we’ll find that trail this way we could just hike through the trees.  If we keep heading east we’ll eventually run into Ponyville.”
                
“Actually, I think it’s more to the north-east.”
                
Shady shrugged, though he spoke defensively, “North, north-east, it hardly matters.  Ponyville is a very broad target.”
                
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be picky.  It wasn’t my place to correct you.”  There was a long, uncomfortable pause.  “So… which way is north-east?”
                
“Um…” Shady waved vaguely.  “That-a-way.”
                
Derpy settled to the ground beside them, and pointed.  “North-east is that way.”
                
“How did you know that?” asked Shady.
                
“While you were talking I flew up above the treetops to see where the sun was.”
                
“Oh, good.  Children, we’re going to go the way Miss Derpy says.  Look after your travel buddy just as you have been doing and everything will be fine.  We should be home… um… soon… ish.”
                
“I don’t want to go home, I want to rescue my friends!” cried Pipsqueak.  “We need a plan.  We should find them and jump them like pirate raiders!”
                
This raised a cheer from the other children.
                
“Um… no.  We aren’t going to do that.”  Fluttershy regarded the little band of ‘raiders.’  Fierce pirates they were not.  Pip and Dinky she knew well, the other two hardly at all.  Valor Skies, whom everypony called Valory, was from Canterlot.  Her family was in Ponyville while her father’s employer had him assigned there for temporary duty.  Fluttershy had noticed that Valory was very courteous, very helpful, and had no volume control.  The little pegasus never seemed aware of how loudly she was yelling.
                
Fluttershy knew no more about Angel.  The Princesses had sent her from Canterlot to study magic with Twilight Sparkle, even though Angel was only in kindergarten.  Twilight had said she was impressed with her new student, and that in turn impressed Fluttershy.  There was a great deal of speculation about Angel, most of which Fluttershy considered silly.  Angel was just a normal filly with an amazing aptitude for magic.
                
“Do we have to be pirates?” complained Angel.  “I’d rather be a ninja.”
                
“No!” shouted the other foals.
                
“Now, children, there are things that are perfectly nice about both pirates and ninjas…Valory!  Where did you get that?”
                
“Isn’t it a beauty, Miss Fluttershy?”  Valory held up a miniature bow.  She had a tiny arrow knocked and ready.  “It isn’t as good as my big bow back home, but it folds so it’s portable and it’ll slip into a saddle bag.  The cam and pulleys give it a surprisingly strong pull for such a little bow.”
                
“And what would Miss Cheerilee say about you carrying a concealed weapon?”
                
“I know!” shouted Pip.  “Let’s rescue Miss Cheerilee and ask her!”
                
“I didn’t break any rules, Miss Fluttershy! I wouldn’t!  I brought my bow for show and tell and I was just taking it home.”  Valory paused.  “Perhaps I should have left it on Miss Cheerilee’s desk until the end of the day…”
                
“I think Val has the right idea,” said Pipsqueak.  He picked up a curved stick and began swinging it like a cutlass.
                
“You really should put that down, Pip,” said Fluttershy, stepping back out of his way.  “We are not going to arm ourselves.”
                
“But Miss Fluttershy, this isn’t a weapon,” answered Pip, leaning on his stick.  “See, it’s just a walking stick.”
                
“Children, please, we need to go home,” said Derpy.  “Dinky, you’re the oldest, can’t you talk some sense into the others?”
                
“But, Mom, I agree with them!  I want to rescue my friends!”
                
“Children, we have a mission,” stated Shady, affecting exaggerated seriousness.  “We have vital intelligence about our enemy and it is our duty to get safely back to Ponyville with the information.”
                
This actually quieted the children.
                
“Also, we are executing important maneuvers.  We are ‘Evading Capture.’  As long as we stay on the move we divide the enemy’s forces and waste their time while they hunt us.  I can’t say enough about the importance of the work we are doing.”
                
“Wow,” gasped Dinky.  The others nodded.
                
“That was really good,” Derpy whispered to Shady.
                
“Um, Shady?” asked Pip.  “After we’ve led the ones chasing us deep enough into the Forest can we set up an ambush for them?”
                
“Yay, ambush!” cried the other foals.
                
“Oh, dear.”


> Chapter 3  Search Par-Tay
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------




 


Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom


 



Chapter 3  Search Par-Tay!


 


“Cheer up, Quiz,” said Shadow.  “We’re having an adventure!”

“Yes,” answered Quiz.  “And it is just as much fun as I would have expected.  I am already resigned to the fact that I shall be late for dinner.”

They were following by the diamond dog’s torches, and the sound of the pony’s hoof steps.  This allowed them to stay far enough back to safely speak softly.

Shadow gave Quiz a playful nudge.  “Come on, we’ll get our opportunity to help them.  We just need to be ready when it comes.”

“Oh, I very much doubt that.”  Quiz moved to the side to be out of Shadow’s reach.  “You seem capable enough, but I am a very small pony and I will not be of much help if action is called for.  However, search parties will be sent to look for the other children.  We should be able to signal our location.”

“I’m going to make a guess that you are selling yourself short,” said Shadow.  “Anyway, how long after we’re over due before they start looking for us?”

“Not long.  Parents are nervous about their children being in the Everfree Forest.  It was only your father’s name that convinced most of them to allow this field trip at all.”

“It’s not his fault.  The part of the forest we showed you was safe.”

“I said nothing of blame, please do not take offense.”

They walked on in silence for a bit before Shadow recovered.  “So, you figure we’ll soon be rescued by the brave citizens of Ponyville, then?”

“They should be setting out to look for us within the hour.  As for how long it may take them to actually rescue us,” Quiz pause to consider her words.  “That will take longer.  When moved to action in large numbers the citizens of Ponyville do not have a history of efficiency or clarity of thought.”


#


“’Dear Princess Luna,’” Twilight Sparkle dictated.  “’I regret to inform you that I have lost Quiz again.’”

“You might want to rephrase that, Twi,” suggested Spike.

“Uuuungh!  I don’t know what to say!”  Twilight would have preferred to handle the problem quietly, but she had no choice but to alert the Princesses.  Quiz was Luna’s student, and the Princess was touchy about her welfare.  And this was, indeed, the second time Quiz had gone missing.

Worse yet, Angel was also with the missing children.  When the Princesses first sent Angel to Ponyville, Twilight was given orders to treat her like a regular child.  But the little unicorn was somehow related to the Princesses and therefore at least minor royalty.  No interpretation of ‘treat her like a regular child’ included letting her disappear into the Everfree Forest.

“I am never going to be sent any more students ever again.”
                
“I got this, Twi,” said Spike.  “I’ll compose the letter, you plan your search party.”
                
“It shouldn’t take too awful much plannin’, Twilight.  Most likely they’re just delayed for some reason.  We just head out and meet ‘em, and escort ‘em all in.”
                
Applejack and Rarity had arrived at the library when the class was only about ten minutes late.   They had chatted with Twilight until they all couldn’t stand to wait any longer.  That had taken only half an hour. 
                
“I expect the little ones will be embarrassed to see us.  They’ll whine about how we shouldn’t have fussed ‘cause they were fine all along.  But better safe than sorry.  Ah have no qualms about embarrassing Apple Bloom in the interest of safety.”  Despite Applejacks reasonable façade she was worried sick about her little sister.
                
Rarity didn’t have a reasonable façade.  “I don’t know how you can be so calm!  I was against letting Sweetie Belle go into that terrible forest, and I told our parents as much.  But they didn’t want Sweetie to be the only filly left out.  Still, I don’t think the three of us should go alone.”

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to ask a few ponies we trust to join us,” said Applejack.  “But let’s not put out a call for volunteers.”

Twilight rolled her eyes.  “We’d end up with the ‘Ponyville Militia’ called out again.  We don’t need half of town wandering aimlessly through the Everfree Forest.  But it wouldn’t hurt to quietly ask…”

“Attention Ponyville!  This is your Mayor!  Our children are late returning from the Everfree Forest and I am calling for volunteers to form a search party!”

“Oh, brother!”  Twilight held her face in her hooves and shook her head.  “Why hasn’t any pony taken her bullhorn away?”


#


“I draw my sword and enter the room,” declared Big Macintosh, affecting a falsetto.

The Ponyville Hotel was hosting the Annual Guide Of Story Tellers Gaming Convention.  Big Mac and his pixie-fairy character Hydrangea-Blooms-At-Dawn were one encounter away from winning in the semi-final round of the Advanced Destriers and Delvers tournament. 
Before the game master could describe the room they were interrupted by the blast of a bullhorn in the street just outside.

“Attention Ponyville…!”

Big Mac listened to the Mayor’s announcement, then pushed his chair back from the table and stood.  He began putting his dice back in their bag.  “Sorry, guys, but I have to withdraw.”

“But you’re winning!  You’re guaranteed a seat at the final table tonight!”

“Eeyupe,” agreed Big Mac.  “But my little sis and my sweetie are out in that forest.  A stallion’s gotta do what a stallion’s gotta do.”

After a moment the rest of the gamers all rose and applauded.  Then they cheered, “For Adventure!”


#


Across the street, the Hotel Ponyville was holding the DaringCon convention for fans of the Daring Do novels.  Rainbow Dash had been waiting forever in line in the signing room, and she was final just one away from the front.  She was about to get the autograph of Professor Coal Heart, editor of The Daring Daily, the biggest fanzine in Equestria.  But the uber-geek in front of Rainbow just would not move on.

“You still haven’t given me a cogent reason why you have rejected my fan fiction!” he whined.

Rainbow couldn’t stand it any longer.  She poked the nerdish pony in the ribs with a wing and declared, “Listing, Bud, it’s obvious that he’s being tactful with you.  You got rejected because your OC is obviously a self-insert.  And the way you describe shipping him with Daring tells me that you can’t get a real date of your own.  So, scram!”

The pony turned, then immediately thought better of tangling with Rainbow.  Instead he stalked off to lodge a complaint with the con committee. 

“Thank you, I thought he would never leave,” said Professor Heart, offering Rainbow a hoof. 

Instead of shaking his hoof, Rainbow gave him a bump.  Then she set an old copy of the Daily on the signing table.  It was open to Professor Heart’s own epic fanfic, “Daring Do, And The Golden Cupcake.”

“You’re welcome, Professor, I’m your biggest fan!  Make that out ‘to Rainbow Dash, my biggest fan!’”

“Attention Ponyville…!”

Rainbow listened to the announcement; then, with a look of steely determination, carefully straightened her pith helmet.

Around the room, several other ponies did the exact same thing.

They cheered, “For Adventure!”


#


Applejack, Twilight, and Rarity regarded the motley crew of volunteer ponies assembled in the street.  It was a bit disconcerting.

“If we move swiftly and quietly,” whispered Rarity, “We could sneak away without them.”

Applejack shook her head.  “They’d just follow us.  Somepony has to stay with them to keep the search party from getting lost.”

Twilight was pleased to see Rainbow Dash among the volunteers.  This evaporated when she noticed that not only did Rainbow have on her pith helmet, she was also standing in a small group of ponies, all of whom pith helmets.  It made them look a bit like a cluster of mushrooms.

Twilight was surprised to see a bright pink pony among the volunteers from the gaming convention.  “Pinkie, aren’t you supposed to defend your title tonight?”

“Oh, yeah, and I was going for a record, too!”  Pinkie was the queen of the Guild of Story Teller’s convention’s board game track.  Last year she had won both the Ponyopoly and Saddle Arabian Checkers tournaments.  Since the finals had been held at the same time Pinkie had to run from one table to another to take her turns.  “I was going to add the Friendship: The Gathering ™ CCG, and two of the new electronic games, Appleoosa Trail and Prance-Prance Revolution.”

“You were going to play five games at once?”

“Yep!  It would have been soooo cool!  But there are more important things than playing games.  Not many, but there are a few.”

“Well, that’s a healthy attitude, mostly…”

“Oh, and if we hurry maybe we can get back in time for the high stakes Candy Kingdom game!  It’s a 100 bit buy in, if anypony’s interested.”

“That’s nice, Pinkie.  Anyway, thank you for volunteering…”

“Don’t be silly, Twilight.  How could I miss something called a search party?”

“It’s not that sort of party, Pinkie.”

“It could be!”

“Really,” whispered Rarity, “We could just excuse ourselves for a moment, and sneak away.”

Twilight took a deep breath and forged on.  She levitated a map of the Everfree Forest and held it open for the volunteers.  “This is a copy of the map Dr. Stalker has made of his survey area.  I’ve identified the three most likely places to look for the foals, and I’ve color coded the paths to these locations…”

“Ooooh!  Dibs on the blue path!” called Rainbow Dash.

“I haven’t even told you where it goes!”

“Don’t care.  We want the blue path.”

“Fine, then we want the red path,” declared a blue Pegasus with a pink mane, standing among the gamers.  “And we’ll be back with the kids before you even get started!”

“You wish, Sky!” Rainbow shot back.   “We’ll find the kids first, so you might as well just not bother.”

“Focus, ponies, focus!” shouted Twilight.

“Would you like to borrow the bullhorn, Twilight?”
          
“No thank you, Mayor.  Moving on, the green path is the planned route of the field trip.  That’s where the children most likely are.  If they ran into difficulties there are two places they might have taken refuge.  The blue path leads to Dr. Stalker’s camp.  The red path is to Zecora’s cottage.”

“Blue path,” said Rainbow.

“Red path,” stated Sky.

“Fine!” grumbled Twilight.  “Can we just move on, now?”

Spike waddled up to them.  He was carrying a bucket filled with burnt paper.  “Twilight, we have a problem.”

“Spike, what do you have there?” asked Twilight, indicating the bucket.

“My last eight attempts to contact the Princesses.  Here, let me show you.”  Spike threw a scroll into the air and breathed green fire at it.  Instead of disappearing, the scroll burned right there.  Flakes of paper ash floated down to the street.  “That makes nine letters that have failed to go through.  There’s some kind of interference.”

Twilight had noticed a buzzing in her ears every time she’d cast a spell that afternoon.   “Perfect, just perfect.   There couldn’t possibly be a better time for magic to go haywire.  Spike, keep trying.  Now, can anypony think of anything we’re forgetting?”

“Just that we need to get a move on if we want to make the round trip before sunset,” said Applejack.

As if on cue, the gamers and the Daring Do fans cheered,  “For Adventure!”

Each group turned and glared at the other.

“Alright, fine.  So much for planning.  Just one more thing, and we can all go rushing half-cocked into the Everfree Forest.”  Twilight rolled her map up with two blank scrolls.  The paper glowed violet, and when Twilight unrolled it there were three copies of the map.  She told herself that the buzzing in her ears had not grown louder.  That was just her imagination.

As Twilight passed out the maps she noticed that there was a signature in the corner.  It wasn’t Shady Stalker’s.  Apparently, it was Shadow Seeker who had drawn the map.


#


Three figures held back when the ponies moved out.

“What are we going to do, Boss?” asked one.

“That’s a very good question,” was the snarled answer.  “We need to find out what those idiots have done, and we need to keep these idiots from discovering what we’re up to.”

“That sounds good, Boss.” There was a long pause.  “So… which idiots are which?”

This earned him a hoof to the back of the head.  “’Those idiots’ are our idiots, and they better have a good reason for snatching a herd of foals.  I’ll deal with them.  ‘These idiots’ are the Ponyville dimwits.  You two go with that group,” he pointed, “and make sure they don’t accidentally learn anything.  Then meet me at the rendezvous point.  We have to be loaded and underway at moonset.  If you’re late you get left behind.”

They hurried to catch up with the search party.


#


“Excuse me, Shady, I don’t mean to be a bother, but what are you doing?”

Shady was walking slowly around a large tree, his nose almost touching the bark.  “I’m looking for a trail mark.  This is just exactly the sort of tree… um… we would have marked.”

“Trail mark?”

“They are scattered through the Forest.  Mostly they’re little arrows to guide the way, a few are warnings about the immediate area.”

“W-w-warnings?”  Much of Shady’s casual conversation terrified Fluttershy.

“Simple things, really; easily seen and evaded.  Don’t give it a thought.”

“Sink holes, poison thorns, strangle vines, quicksand, trees where fruit bats roost, that sort of thing, Shady?” asked Derpy.

“Well, yes, those are hazards on the list…”

“Open water, ground nesting wasps, dragon caves…”

“There are dragon caves here?” squealed Pipsqueak.  “Cool!”

“There’s just the one, and you can’t miss it, little chance of unpleasant surprise there.”  Shady thought he was being more reassuring than he actually was.

“Excuse me, but is this list very long?” asked Fluttershy.   She would have considered a list of hazards with two items too long a list.

“There are one hundred and thirty-six trail signs, not counting direction and distance markers,” said Derpy.

“How did you know that, Mom?” asked Dinky.

“It was in Shady’s last book.  He uses the same system the Royal Equestrian Mail Service used once.”

“It is a very comprehensive list, and it includes several signs we have never used.”  Shady looked thoughtful.  “’Beware of dog’ and ‘Homeowner does not appreciate visitors’ are the only ones that come to mind…”

“Excuse me, Shady, and I do hope you don’t take this the wrong way,” said Fluttershy.  “But you make me a little more nervous with every word you speak.  Could you please, if it’s not too much trouble, just be quiet for a while?”

“Miss Derpy?” asked Angel.  “What’s going to happen to Miss Cheerilee and our friends?”

“We don’t know, Sweetheart,” Derpy answered.  “But the diamond dogs wouldn’t dare harm them.  That would just get them in a lot of trouble.”

“Don’t worry, Angel,” exclaimed Pip.  “They’ll be fine.  Miss Quizzical is with them, and she’ll know what to do!”

“Gee, I don’t know,” said Angel.  “Quiz is kind of, you know, weird.”

“You take that back, Angel!  Miss Quizzical is my friend!”

“Now, now, children.” Fluttershy stepped between them.  “We mustn’t fight; it’s very important to work together.  Pip, you know that ponies who haven’t had time to get to know Quiz often don’t understand her.  Angel, Pip is right.  Quiz is a very clever pony, and if there is any way she can help she’ll think of it.  Now both of you be nice.”

Derpy let Fluttershy calm the children, knowing this would help calm Fluttershy.  She stepped up to Shady to have a quiet word.

“You can’t find the trail marks, can you, Shady?”

“It isn’t easy,” Shady protested.  “The marks are very subtle, so as to disturb the environment as little as possible.  They are little more than scratches on the bark.”

“Which means you can’t find the marks.”

“Shadow usually finds them,” answered Shady, miserably.


#


Shadow made a small mark on the wall, then slipped the piece of chalk back into his bag.  “So, you don’t like Hide and Seek?”

“I have found that if anything wishes to hide from me I am happiest if I allow them to continue to do so,” said Quiz.

“Don’t you ever jump out and shout ‘Boo!’ at your friends?”

“Why ever would I want to do that?”

“Maybe, because it’s fun?”

“No, no I do not think so.”

Shadow shook his head.  “You are a very unusual pony, Quiz.”

“Yes, I know.”

They came to a patch of tunnel that seemed slightly better lit, and Quiz stopped.  “Oh, good, we have found an air shaft.”

“Could we use it to escape if we have to?”

“Only if you can open the grate that covers it.  There will be another cover at the top.”

Shadow flew up to examine the shaft.  He tested the iron grate.  “I’m not sure I can open this.  Anyway, it’s really narrow.  I’d have to fly with my wings half folded.  I’d be fine, I’m good at that, but I couldn’t get enough lift to carry you as well.  This idea just fell from plan B down to plan Z.”

“I believe I can cast a spell through it.  I am going to try to send a signal to Ponyville.”  Quiz set her horn glowing, and concentrated.  Almost immediately, the soft beige of Quiz’s magic turned blue-green.  Quiz canceled her spell, but not before her horn began to give off sparks.

“Quiz, are you alright?!"

“Yes, though that was quite alarming.  Please keep your voice down, Shadow.”

“Then don’t scare me like that again.”

“I did not do it on purpose.”  Quiz pondered what had just happened.   “There seems to be some sort of magical interference.  It is safe down here, insulated by stone, but I fear my magic will be useless to us.  I can think of nothing that will help us, and I do not know what to do.”
 
 
 
 


> Chapter 4  Heavy Traffic In The Everfree Forest
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom


 


Chapter 4  Heavy Traffic In The Everfree Forest


 

                
“…and then the Wonderbolts zoom in and join Daring in fighting off the pterodactyls of the Lost Valley!”
                
“That sounds like a very interesting story,” said Professor Coal Heart.  He didn’t actually sound very interested.
                
“Then you’d like to write it?  That would be so cool!”  The Professor’s lukewarm tone did not register with Rainbow Dash.  She had been chewing his ear off with her story idea for half the distance from Ponyville.  “Do you need a written outline?  I could get Spike to help me with that…”
                
“Thank you, but no thank you,” Professor Heart curtly cut her off.  “I have quite enough ideas of my own to write.  But if you write it yourself, please feel free to submit it to my magazine.”
                
Rainbow was temporarily shocked into silence by the very idea of writing something herself.
                
“It sounds like your Captain of the Wonderbolts character looks like me,” noted Navy, a dark blue pegasus with a two tone mane and tail.
                
“She does not!” snapped Rainbow, who could never remain silent long.  “Wrong shade of blue, Navy.  Besides, Captain Rush is a mare, not a stallion.”
                
“I have a story I’ve almost finished,” said Infernalo.  The young unicorn spoke in a finely cultivated manner, and he might have had a slight accent (though if he did it was nothing anypony could place).  “Daring Do finds a lost library and must take on a temporary sidekick to aid in the translations.  She is a very shy little unicorn, and not at all happy with all the excitement.  I call her Wissend Schnufig.”
                
Rainbow blew a raspberry.  “Bor-ing!”  She leaned close to Professor Heart and whispered, “He’s just a casual fan.”  In fact Rainbow dismissed half the Blue Team as casuals on the basis that they borrowed their pith helmets from the convention rather than owning their own.
                
“Actually, she sounds like the sort of character our fandom could use more of,” said Professor Heart.  “Please finish your story and submit it.”
               
“Professor Heart, is it alright for you to leave the convention?” asked Autumn Breeze.  She was the weather patrol pegasus on leaf fall duty, charged with clearing away what wasn’t shaken loose during the annual Running of Leaves.  Her mane of many autumn leaf colors and her cutie mark (a falling maple leaf) reflected this.  Autumn loved her work.  “You’re the Guest of Honor, Professor.”
                
“Programing was over for the day.  There is nothing going on but room parties and… ugh… filk singing.”
                
“Oh, filking sounds like fun,” said Navy.
                
“To each their own.”
                
“We’re there,” said the Mayor.  She had dyed her hair multiple shades of grey for DaringCon, and it had utterly failed to make her look like Daring Do.  That she kept losing her helmet didn’t help.  “This must be Dr. Stalker’s camp.”
                
The rough path opened into a small clearing.  There they found two small tents and a pavilion.  Set up under the pavilion were portable tables and collapsing desks, all covered with papers and equipment.
                
“Look, I found their mini-fridge,” called Stone Hoof, his head under a table.  Stone was quite a young unicorn, but he was big for his age.  Actually, he was just big.  Stone was the tallest member of the Blue Team, and Rainbow’s ears only came to his shoulders.
                
“Oh, oh, what’s inside?” asked Rainbow, shaking with anticipation.  “Somepony’s head?”
                
“Eww!” exclaimed all the other ponies.
                
Stone Hoof opened the fridge.  “Um… some preserved specimens, I think, a case of Foster’s Cider, and a can of Wham wheat loaf product.”
                
“Oh, great, toss that over here,” called Rainbow.  “I’m starving.”
                
“Shut the door, or you’ll let out all the cold,” said the Mayor.  “Their generator is off so that refrigerator isn’t running.”
                
“Look, Dr. Stalker was writing something,” said Autumn, who was examining the papers on one of the desks.
                
“Cool,” said Rainbow, as she used the attached key to get the top off the can of Wham.  “Is it his blood soaked dying words?”
                
“It’s a letter to Princess Celestia,” said Autumn.  “Dr. Stalker wants her to send a botanist and a forester to join the survey.  He says the plants and trees are important.  What a nice stallion.”
                
Navy had stuck his head through the doors of both small tents.  “They’re living in these.  The cots aren’t made, but everything else looks like it’s in order.”
                
“What kind of crime scene is this?” demanded Rainbow.  “Where are all the juicy clues?”
                
“This isn’t a crime scene, it’s a work space,” stated Professor Heart.  “The only disorder comes not from a struggle but from work being done.  See how they left the paperwork all carefully weighted down?  They left intending to come back and get to work again.  Clearly they just haven’t been back since this morning.”
                
“I agree,” said the Mayor.  “There’s nothing for us to find here.”
                
“Well, we can’t just give up and go home!” declared Rainbow.  “Not and let those gaming losers find the kids.  Forget that.”
                
Infernalo was examining the map.  He pointed.  “We could take this path and link up with the Green Team.  They might be interested in what we’ve found.”
                
“We haven’t found anything,” said Navy.  “And I don’t know if it does any good covering the same ground as the Green Team.”
                
“We might as well just go back to Ponyville,” said Professor Heart.  “If we start now we can be out of the Forest before sunset.”
                
“I’m not afraid of the dark,” said Infernalo.  Several ponies agreed.
                
“Ah, but it’s not just the dark,” stated Professor Heart.  “It’s the dark Everfree Forest.”
                
They were all silent as they considered this.
                
“If the kids can be out here in the dark then so can I!”  Rainbow ruined the dramatic effect of her statement by shaking the layer of congealed vegetable oil off the Wham loaf and beginning to eat.
                
Well,” began Infernalo. “There is one other place we could look.”
                
They all gathered around to see just what spot on the map Infernalo was indicating.
                
“Oh, no!” exclaimed Professor Heart.  “We do not want to go there.  We absolutely do not want to go there.”
                
“It’s not so bad,” said Rainbow, through a full mouth.
                
Something called from deep in the forest.
                
“Oogie, oogie, oogie!”


#

                
“Rarity, pass me the map, would ya?” asked Applejack.
                
The Green Team had come to the clearing that was supposed to be as deep into the Forest as the field trip would go.  If Applejack’s reassuring words had been correct, the Green Team would have met the children on the path as they returned to Ponyville.  Applejack was disappointed, but not surprised, that she had been wrong.
                
“According to this map this is supposed to be a grassy meadow with a big ol’ rock in the middle.  Not this empty dirt patch.”
                
“It also says a manticore frequents this clearing,” said Rarity.  “You don’t suppose…”
                
“No ah don’t, so don’t go gettin’ all dramatic, you hear?”
                
“A group as large as were with the field trip would have intimidated a manticore, even if most of them were children,” said a dapper gray unicorn.  Through the long hike from Ponyville he had not loosened his necktie.  “Also, Dr. Stalker is an accomplished animal handler and has experience with manticores.”
                
When the party had exchanged names the unicorn had asked to just be called ‘Professor.’  Applejack had remarked “Doesn’t anypony on this team have more than one name?” Apparently, no.
                
A green pegasus scratched at the dirt with the tip of her hoof.  She soon uncovered several long stalks of grass.  She tasted one and spit it out.  “These were growing here only a few hours ago.  The sod would have been thick, but now it’s pulverized.”  Fern was an herbalist, and what she didn’t know about plants was probably unknown to all ponykind.  Plants were, unfortunately, the only thing Fern was not afraid of.  “It looks like a mass… you don’t think this is a… oh, my gosh!”
                
Applejack put a reassuring hoof on Fern’s shoulder.  “No, Sugar, no pony’s buried here.  It’s just an excavation, so there’s no call to run away and hide.”
                
“An excavator tears away big chunks of earth, it doesn’t grind them into sand,” said Tim.  He was an engineer, and Applejack guessed that his full name had something to do with widgets and gizmos and such.  A name that matched the pegasus’ cutie mark, a book over two interlocking gears, would be just the sort of name ponies would keep getting wrong.  Hence he just wanted to be called Tim.  “Also, you couldn’t get a digging machine out here without making lots of tracks.”
                
“I’ve seen this before,” mused Rarity.  “But that was only small holes, never anything on this scale.”
                
“You suspect diamond dogs?” asked a blue unicorn.  He gave his name as ‘Stranger,’  and he seemed to be a professional wanderer.  He was secretive, but this seemed to be just part of his solitary nature.  “I agree. They could have done this, if there were enough of them.”
                
The Professor closed his eyes as he made a mental calculation.  “It would take at least ten diamond dogs.  But if they had it prepared in advance they could collapse the trap fast enough to catch every pony in this clearing.”
                
“It’s a trap?!” gasped Fern.  She dove into a bush at the clearing’s edge.
                
“Trap’s already been sprung, Fern, Darlin’,” said Applejack.  “Please come out of the foliage.”
                
“Oh, I hate to think of poor Sweetie Belle in the paws of those ruffians!” cried Rarity.  “And Quizzical!  If that awful Chief Bowser is involved he might be picking his teeth with her bones as we speak!”
                
“Eep!” shrieked Fern, backing further into the undergrowth.
                
Applejack let out an exasperated gasp.  “Bowser wouldn’t eat Quiz!  At least not right away.”
                
“A good way to proceed would be to consider what the diamond dogs might be doing,” suggested the Professor.  “It seems unlikely they would be mining.  The upper layers of bedrock here are sedimentary.  The gem bearing metamorphic rocks are much deeper.  Diamond dogs could mine those for years and never be noticed.”
                
“There are tales of lost treasure hidden in the Everfree,” said Stranger.  “Old magic, forgotten knowledge, riches from before the founding of Equestria.  I confess I came to Ponyville meaning to investigate such legends.  Now seems like the perfect time.”
                
“But that’s all just old mares' tales,” said Applejack.
                
“Perhaps,” said the Professor. “But there are so very many legends, if even a small fraction of the tales hold truth then the diamond dogs might have found… something.”
                
“The place to look is here,” said Stranger, pointing to a spot on the map.
                
“Oh, this just grows more and more dreadful by the minute,” cried Rarity.  “I can’t bear to think of the children in that dreary place.”
                
“It ain’t that bad, and it’s out of the wind,” said Applejack.  “But if we’re lookin’ for something hidden then we have to leave the marked path and hike through the unknown Forest.”
                
“Well, that sounds adventurous,” said the Professor.  He reached into his saddle bag and produced a pith helmet, which he donned.  “For Adventure!”
                
“Why weren’t you at the Daring Do convention?” asked Tim.
                
“Oh, the day’s programming was all about fanfiction, and I find most of that very poorly written.  But I was hoping to pop in and enjoy the filk singing tonight.”
                
“Fern, Darling, would you please come out and help lead us?” coaxed Rarity.  “We will need a pony at the front who can keep us from walking into poison joke, or worse.”
                
Fern was beginning to calm down, but they lost her again when something deep in the forest called.
                
"Oogie, oogie, oogie!”


#

                
“Oh, lookie!” cried Pinkie, pointing to a tree.  “A Royal Equestrian Mail Service trail mark,”
                
“Really?” said Twilight.  “What does it mean?”
                
“I dunno,” said Pinkie.  “I can’t read trail marks, Silly.”
                
“Explain to me again why I can’t search from the air,” complained Sky.  “It would be so much faster than all this walking.”
                
“It’s dangerous, Sky,” said Twilight.
                
“I hate being down here in the trees!  There’s no room to fly.  C’mon, I want to be useful.  Let me do my stuff.”
                
“The government of Equestria has been attempting to survey the Everfree Forest from the air for almost two hundred years,” said Mustang.  He sounded as if he was reciting an official report.  “All efforts have failed.  All teams reported disorientation, and required aid in finding their way home.  Three teams never returned.”
                
James Mustang was a Captain in the Royal Guard.  Sky had made the mistake of saying of his uniform (golden armor and all) “Nice costume!”  Mustang had snapped “It’s not a costume.” Things had been prickly between them ever since.
                
“They call it the ‘Green Fever,’” explained Twilight.  “Some ponies think it’s psychological, it comes from there being nothing but treetops for as far as the eye can see.  Others think it’s magic, possibly even a curse.  It could be a combination of both.  But no pegasus flies over the Everfree Forest without getting lost.”
                
“I’m not afraid,” protested Sky.  “I’ll run a quick spiral pattern and come back.”
                
“Oh, just let her go,” said Dirk Chick.  Or perhaps it was Dagger Chick.  No pony could tell the griffon twins apart.  Some thought that even if you guessed right about which griffon was which the Chick brothers would lie and switch names.
                
“Fine,” grumbled Twilight.  “Once around, then straight back.”
                
“Alright!” cried Sky.  Without another word she zoomed away.
                
A moment later they could hear her, above the canopy, roar past.
                
A moment after that Sky again flew right over them and kept on going.
                
Seconds later she flew by again, this time going in a different direction.
                
“Twi,” said Big Mac.  “We’re going to have to guide her in.”
                
“Great.  Pinkie, would you do the honors?”
                
“I’d be delighted!”  Pinkie produced a handful of fireworks from her bag and shot them through the treetops.
                
Sky soon appeared, following the smoke trail left by the Roman candles through the leaves.  “Wow!” she exclaimed as she settled to the forest floor next to the rest of the Red Team.  “You really can’t tell anything from anything else up there.  I’d have never found you guys again without that signal.”
                
“So you didn’t see anything?  It was just a waste of time?” asked Dirk (or maybe Dagger) Chick.
                
“Well, what I didn’t see might be important,” said Sky.  “If the kids were in trouble you would think they would light a signal fire.  Or maybe use a mirror to flash at me.  There was nothing.”
                
“Yeah, right, you can actually see that much detail when you’re going fast,” sneered Dagger (or maybe Dirk) Chick.
                
“I saw that the Green Team has gotten to the clearing,” said Sky.  “Hey, doesn’t the map say it’s supposed to be a meadow?  It looked like a big sand pit to me.”
                
Twilight frowned, and chewed her lip thoughtfully at this news.
                
“I also saw Dr. Stalker’s camp.  No sign of the Blue Team.  Either those losers were taking a nap under Stalker’s tent, or they haven’t gotten there yet.”
                
“Or they have already been there and moved on,” said Mustang.
                
Sky made a rude noise.  “Not likely!”
                
“We should move on,” said Big Mac.  Without waiting for further comment he started walking.  Of course everypony else followed.
                
They soon came to Zecora’s cottage.  It was a shocking, chaotic mess.
                
Everything that could break had been broken and everything not nailed down had been knocked over.  There was no sign of Zecora.
               
“It looks like your friend the zebra put up a pretty good fight, but she lost in the end,” said Mustang.
                
The Chick brothers sniffed the air.  “There’s no blood,” said one of them.
                
“There are stains from spills everywhere, but all of it is dry,” noted Twilight.  “And the hearth and the fire for the cauldron are cold.  This happened days ago.”
                
“Something was dragged through here,” said Big Mac.  He followed the short trail of crushed plants to the stump of a small tree.  “They cut this down to make a carry pole.”
                
“So, we’re too late to do any good here,” said one of the Chick brothers.
                
“We’re going to quit and go home now?” asked the other.
                
Big Mac snorted.  “That’ll be the day.”
                
“There’s no hoof prints,” noted Mustang.  “The field trip didn’t come this way.”
                
“Oh, well, looks like we don’t get to save the kids.  That’s too bad.  Who wants to buy the first round of cider…?”
                
“Oh, shut up.  We’re not going home, Dagger,” snapped Sky.
                
“I’m Dirk.”
                
“Whatever.”
                
“Who would do this?” cried Twilight.
                
“Why don’t you ask the pony watching us from the bushes?” suggested Pinkie.
                
This startled whoever was spying on them, but before she could flee the Chick twins shouted “Get ‘em!” and pounced.
                
They soon had her pinned to the ground.  Sky hovered above them, ready to strike if the tall, grey unicorn got free.
                
“Stop struggling!” ordered Mustang.  “You are being detained as a suspect in a possible kidnapping.”
                
“You define ‘detained’ as sitting on me?  Let me go, I didn’t do anything!”
                
“Hi, Relic!” called Pinkie.  “How have you been?”
                
“What?  Oh, hello, Pinkie,” said the captive.  “I’m sorry, but I’ll need some more time with your watch.  There’s still a problem with the winding mechanism.”
                
“You know this unicorn?” asked Mustang.
                
“Her name is Old Relic,” answered Big Mac.  “She fixes clocks.  You really should let her up.”
                
“Oh, gosh, she must have fixed every clock in Ponyville at least once,” said Pinkie.  “Yeah, we all know her.  Relic lives out here in the Forest, but really she’s just like one of our neighbors.  Please stop crushing her.”
                
“Yes, could you get these black-bottomed buzzards off of me, please?”
                
“She’s a spy!” exclaimed one of the Chick brothers.  “Let’s drag her back to Ponyville and lock her up!”
                
“I wasn’t spying, I was being cautious,” protested Relic.  “What would you do, if you found your friend’s cottage ransacked, and a bunch of ponies and such, half of them strangers, wandering around the wreckage?”
                
“Well, that does sound reasonable,” said Twilight.  “Guys, let her up.”
                
“But she’s our prisoner, we caught her fair and square!”
                
“Let Her Up!” shouted most of the Red Team.
                
Because of their hard beaks a griffon cannot pout, but the Chick twins managed to convey the impression that they were pouting.  Still, they let Relic up.
                
Old Relic got to her hooves and began brushing leaves and black and white feathers out of her brown mane.
                
“I’m very sorry, Ma’am.  I hope we didn’t hurt you,” said Sky.  “Do you really live out here in the Everfree?”
                
“Yep, I live here for the peace and quiet,” answered Relic.  “Not that I’ve gotten a lot of that lately.  First there was those pegasi, taking samples and measuring things everywhere.  Mind you, they’ve been reasonably quiet and polite.  Good neighbors.  But then came those diamond dogs.  What pests, with their digging and stirring up the wildlife!  Now I’ve got all you ponies out here, practically holding a parade!  I’ve half a mind to move…”
                
“Wait, back up,” interrupted Twilight.  “Diamond dogs?”
                
“Oh, yes, a score or two of them,” said Relic.  “They have a camp of sorts off that way.  Luckily, I never go there.”
                
Twilight considered the map, and gasped when she realized what location Relic was talking about.  “Wonderful.  What else could go wrong?”
                
“Oogie, oogie, oogie!”


#

                
“Quiz, don’t stand under the air shaft,” said Shadow.  “You’ll get zapped again, and we can’t have you frying that pretty brain of yours.”
                
“The interference will not last forever, and I must continue trying to send a signal home until I succeed.”  Quiz stopped and stared at Shadow.  “Wait, what was it you said about my brain?”
                
“I think it’s very pretty.”  Shadow gave Quiz a grin that could be seen in the dark.
                
“I fear I do not get the joke.”
                
“It wasn’t a joke, it was flattery.”
                
“Oh.”  Quiz seemed confused.  “Is this something you tell all of the fillies?”
                
“Only the smart ones,” laughed Shadow.  “Most fillies would prefer I notice something else.”
                
“I believe I understand,” said Quiz.  “Despite your protest to the contrary, it is obvious that you are making a joke.  Someday, when we have more time, I may ask you to explain what is so funny.”
                
Shadow sighed.  “Take it that way if you insist, Quiz.”
                
Quiz set her horn aglow.  This time the blue-green aura went all the way to her hooves before Quiz canceled the spell.  “My… what an extraordinary… sensation…”
               
“Quiz, are you okay?”
                
“Yes, but you may be right.  I might not be able to do that again.”  Quiz stamped her hooves, each step released sparks until Quiz had gotten rid of the extra magic she had apparently absorbed.
                
Shadow looked up the air shaft.  “Is the sun setting already?”  Wandering in the diamond dog tunnels had confused his sense of time.
                
“No, I believe something is sitting on the grate, blocking the top.”
                
A call echoed down the shaft.
                
“Oogie, oogie, oogie!”


> Chapter 5 - It's Always Darkest When It Gets Really Dark
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom


 



Chapter 5  It’s Always Darkest When It Gets Really Dark


 

         
“Soooo, giggle at the ghostly… sing with me, children… guffaw at the grossly…”
                
It was Fluttershy’s fourth attempt to begin a sing-a-long, and it wasn’t going any better than the previous three.  Evading Capture has lost its charm, and the children had pretty much had it with trees.  They just weren’t in the mood to sing.
                
Derpy landed next to them.  She snorted with disgust and stamped her hooves.  “That’s the last time I’ll be able to get our bearings.  It’s completely socked in up there.”
                
“Socked in?” exclaimed Valory.  “But Miss Derpy, we are scheduled for a cloudless night.”
                
“There’s no Weather Patrol in the Everfree, Dear,” said Shady.
                
“I could just make out a bit of pink on the horizon,” continued Derpy, pointing.  “The sun is over there.”
                
“But that means we’ve been going the wrong way, again,” cried Fluttershy.  “And… did you say ‘pink’?  As in ‘sunset’?”
                
“That’s right,” said Derpy.  She turned and glared at Shady.  “The sun is setting.  It’s about to get dark.”
                
“Now, I don’t see how you can blame me for the movement of the sun…”
                
“We are lost in the Everfree Forest, and it’s going to be very dark, very soon.  I can blame you for that.”
                
“Oh, my gosh, it’s getting dark, it’s getting dark!” Fluttershy began trotting around in a tight circle, fluttering her wings with agitation.  “Must remain calm, mustn’t cause a scene in front of the children…oh, my gosh!”
                
“My daughter is out here!” snared Derpy.
                
“Do you think I don’t know how that feels?” Shady snapped back.  “Those barbarians have my son!”
                
Angel began backing away from the adults.  “They shouldn’t be fighting.  Can’t anypony make them stop?  Please?”
                
This shocked Fluttershy out of her panic.  “Oh, no Dear, no pony is fighting.  We’re just … discussing our next plan of action.  Um… with passion.”
                
“What… oww!”  Fluttershy had surreptitiously kicked Shady.  “Oh, right, passion.  Very passionate, that’s us.  But no hard feelings.”
                
“Maybe a few hard feelings,” muttered Derpy.  “Owww!”
                
“Well… okay…” Despite the wooly blanket Angel had cinched on under her saddle bags, she shivered.
                
“Oh, you poor dear, are you cold?” asked Fluttershy.
                
“She’s always cold,” said Dinky. 
                
“I just like to stay warm and cozy,” said Angel.  “Being cold is for statues.  I don’t see… Hay!”  A diamond dog leapt out of the bushes and grabbed her. 

“This little one is our prisoner!  The other little ponies will surrender to us now!”


#

                
“Mithter Reader, why don’t the diamond dogths like ponies?” asked Twist.
                
She and Cheerilee had been trying to keep Reader talking.  It distracted him and the other dogs, and allowed Sweetie Belle to remain quietly unnoticed at the back of their little herd of foals.  They didn’t know if Bowser or any of the other diamond dogs would remember Sweetie Belle; she had only been in their warrens once before, and that had only been briefly.  But it wouldn’t pay to take any chances.  Nothing good was likely to come from Sweetie Belle being recognized as ‘the sister of the Rarity.’
                
Luckily, it was very easy to distract Reader.  The pompous diamond dog delighted in the sound of his own voice.
                
“Oh, most of us like ponies just fine,” said Reader.  “Our trade agreement with Equestria has brought us prosperity, and we enjoy the things we get from you ponies.”
                
“Then why are you violating the treaty?” asked Cheerilee.
                
“Oh, but we aren’t,” said Reader.  “Bowser signed the treaty as Chief of the Barrens Pack.  We are the Forest Pack.”
                
“But Bowser is Chief of both packs!” exclaimed Cheerilee.
                
“So?”
                
Cheerilee saw that as a dead end to that line of reasoning.  She tried another argument.  “These tunnels are a treaty violation.  They aren’t on any of the maps you have shared with Equestria.”
                
“Ah, but the treaty allows us to withhold details from the maps, for our own security.”
                
“You are supposed to at least include the outline of your territory.”
                
“That is to prevent conflicts from ponies mining diamond dog claims,” lectured Reader.  “Ponies do not mine in the Everfree Forest, so there is no conflict.”
                
“It’th till a violation,” stated Twist.
                
“Perhaps, but that is a quibble for lawyers, diplomats, and negotiators to sort out.  As the Forest Pack has no lawyers, diplomats, or negotiators there is no problem!”
                
Reader was so insufferably pleased with his logic that Cheerilee gave up.  The only way to win this debate would be to buck Reader in the head.    “Please just tell me why all of this is happening.”
                
“Oh, it is part of Chief Bowser’s grand political strategy,” began Reader, shifting ‘lecture mode’ into his highest gear.  “The trade with ponies has benefitted every diamond dog except Bowser, you see.  The Chief’s status with the pack has fallen and the status of Speaker to Ponies has risen.”
                
“Thspeaker to Ponies?” asked Twist.
                
“You call him our Ambassador to Equestria.  The Speaker to Ponies has become the most important dog in the pack, and Bowser hates that.  So, he secretly created the Forest Pack to come out to the Everfree and show how he can create prosperity for diamond dogs without having to deal with the pretty little princess ponies.”
                
All the diamond dogs within earshot laughed.
                
“And you think this is a good idea?” asked Cheerilee.
                
Reader shrugged.  “Some do.  They long for the ‘good old days’ when diamond dogs didn’t need ponies, and ponies were afraid of the diamond dogs.”
                
“Um… I don’t know,” said Snails, who was standing close to Twist (something he’d made a habit of lately).  “We were never that afraid of you guys.”
                
“Hush!” hissed Twist.
                
Reader was enjoying pontificating so much he didn’t even pause.  “Other dogs prefer to listen to Speaker to Ponies.  They like how things are now, and wonder what we had against ponies in the first place.  The vast majority of diamond dogs has no idea and has never given it any thought.”
                
“Yeah, not thinking is kinda in your nature,” said Snails.
                
“Thnails!” Twist whispered in his ear.  “You’re a dear, but thshut up!”
                
“And how do you feel, Reader?” asked Cheerilee.
                
“Oh, I don’t care,” he answered.  Reader continued in a conspiratorial whisper.  “I’m just ambitious.  I joined the Forest Pack to have access to the Everfree Forest.  I see wonderful opportunities here.”  Reader didn’t share any more, he only grinned smugly.
                
“Whoa, creepy,” whispered Snails.  Twist just nodded.


#

                
At the front of the little herd Chief Bowser bellowed.  “We halt here.”  The tunnel had widened, and to one side was the bank of an underground stream.  “Little ponies may rest and take water.  Briefly!”
                
The foals lined up along the bank to get a drink or just lying down.  Bowser stomped up to where Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon sat together.  “Bowser’s guards did not take these pony’s pretty things.  Such a shame, the pretty things might get dirty.  Bowser will correct that now.”  Before either filly could react, Bowser reached out and snatched away Silver’s pearls and Diamond’s tiara.
                
“Hey, give that back!”
                
“You have no right to take those!”
                
“You are gonna get it!
                
“I’m lodging an official protest!”
                
“Girls!  Please!”  Cheerilee trotted over to take on the thankless task of running interference between Silver and Diamond and Chief Bowser.


#

                
“Scoot, take my water bottle and fill it for me,” said Sweetie Belle.
                
“Aren’t you going to get a drink?”
                
Sweetie Belle shook her head.  “While those two are fussing, and everyone’s distracted, I’m going to try something.”  From the back of the herd, she turned and faced up the tunnel the way they had come.
                
Sweetie Belle sang softly and her horn glowed.  She began moving her head, using her horn like a sparkler to trace something in the air.


#

                
“I don’t get it,” said Shadow.  “You say Bowser’s status has slipped a bit, but what does that have to do with you?  What did you do?’
                
“Very little, actually,” answered Quiz.  “I merely was present for the events that allowed Princess Luna to force a trade treaty upon him.”
                
“But Bowser still blames you.”
                
“Oh, yes, he is quite angry with me,” said Quiz.  “It does not matter that I have done nothing to give him good reason.  Chief Bowser is no more known for his rational thinking than he is for his mild temper.”
                
“I think you did more than you’re telling me.”
                
Quiz did not answer.  She was squinting up the tunnel.  “Can you see that?  The blue glow?”
                
“Now that you point it out, yeah.  Good eyes, Quiz.  It’s faint, but…” Shadow cocked his he to the side.  “’Z’?”
                
Quiz had her head cocked the other way.  “It is an ‘N.’ Sweetie Belle should hold her head straighter when writing in the air.  I believe she wants me to send her a Note.”


#

                
Alpha was sleek, sinister looking diamond dog, but he had a voice that was as high and squeaky as a living being could have without consuming helium.  His voice was his shame.
                
Despite his menacing intent, when Alpha spoke the foals giggled.
                
“Stop laughing!  Do as you are told or your friend will be harmed!”
                
“Just shut up, Alpha,” said Dagget.  “We agreed, I would do all the talking.  Um… the little ponies should surrender and stuff, like Alpha said.”
                
“Arr!” growled Pipsqueak.  “Harm a hair on her and you’ll suffer my wrath!”
                
Now it was the diamond dog’s turn to laugh.
                
This was as much as Angel could stand.  “Let me go!” she shrieked.  She and Alpha glowed violet, then blue-green, then Alpha yelped and dropped her.  Angel scurried to the nearest adult, Fluttershy, who knelt and gently held her.
                
Alpha stood glassy-eyed, swaying unsteadily.  He opened his mouth and exhaled a smoke ring.
                
Digger turned to help Alpha, and was promptly shot in the buttocks.  “Brilliant!” cried Valory.  She’d wanted to shoot a bad guy in the butt ever since she had read a fantasy novel in which the hero did just that.
                
“Stop!  What are you doing?” cried Dagget, the last dog standing.  He ran at the ponies, waving his arms in the air.  “Don’t you understand that you are supposed to surrender?”
                
Dagget only got two steps before Pip chopped him hard across the knee cap with his stick.   Dinky kicked him on the other leg.
                
“Now would be a good time to leave,” said Derpy.  She scooped up Dinky and Pip and took flight.  Fluttershy picked up Angel and fell in right behind her.  Shady and Valory followed.  Valory could fly well enough that she could keep up, so long as Shady held the strap of her saddle bags and gave her a boost.
                
“Shady, Sir?  Do we have to run away?” complained Valory.  “We were winning!”
                
“Now, Valory, you know we have to cover the others’ retreat,” chided Shady.  “It’s very important work, guarding the rear.”
                
“Yes, Sir.”


#

                
A phantom little sheet of note paper, glowing softly beige, appeared in the air just under Sweetie Belle’s nose. 


“Are you all well?”

                
Sweetie Belle was so excited to hear from her friend that she almost squealed and gave herself away.  Scootaloo and Apple Bloom moved to stand where they could see and also block the view of the diamond dog guards.
                
Sweetie Belle began to hum, and sent a reply.


“Quiz!!!  So glad U got away!  Bowser is really mad at U!  We R fine, just tired.”

                
This was quickly answered.


“Do you know what Bowser is doing or where you are going?”



“Slave labor, pulling carts.  Don’t no where.”



“Carts of what?”



“Good question.  Bowser’s in a hurry to move something.”



“Bowser is on a schedule?”



“Yes, and meeting a customer.”

                
It took a moment for the next Note to arrive.  Sweetie Belle imagined Quiz pondering this information.


“Please behave and cooperate, and you will be safe while Bowser needs you.”



“OK.  So sorry U R all alone.”



“Shadow is with me.”

                
“Oh!”  Sweetie Belle giggled.  “Aww, that’s sweet.”
                
“Girl, whatever you are thinking of saying, Quiz is just going to answer ‘I do not understand,’” whispered Apple Bloom.
                
“Seriously, Belle?” hissed Scootaloo.  “Quiz and Shadow?”
                
“Hard to imagine a less likely couple under less romantic circumstances,” added Apple Bloom.
                
“It’s not that ridiculous,” muttered Sweetie Belle. 
                
“Yes it is,” said both her friends.
                
Stubbornly, Sweetie Belle went ahead and sent the Note she had in mind.


“So, you and Shadow, alone in the dark together?  Anything interesting happening?”

                
There was a long pause.  As the pause grew longer Sweetie Belle became increasingly frustrated, and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo fought harder to contain their laughter.
               
 “Maybe I miss-sent the spell…” grumbled Sweetie Belle.
               
 “Wait for it,” said Apple Bloom.
                
Finally, the Note appeared.


“I do not understand.”

                
“That’s my girl!”  Apple Bloom fell to the tunnel floor, convulsing with silent laughter.
                
“You have to love her!” Scootaloo had fallen next to Apple Bloom.


“Never mind, Quiz.”

                
Before Sweetie Belle finished composing the Note a diamond dog challenged them.
                
“Why are little ponies humming and carrying on?  Stop that!”
              
“Sorry, Sir.  We were just trying to keep our spirits up.”  Sweetie Belle finished her Note and sent it.


“Gotta go, Bye.”



#

                
Quiz glared at Shadow, who had been reading over her shoulder.  “Is there any point in my asking what is so funny?”
                
“Nope.”  Shadow struggled to draw enough air to speak.  “Never mind, Quiz.”
                
“I grow tired of being told that.”


#

                
They could barely fly to begin, and lost a lot of time avoiding trees and other obstacles.  The forest soon became too thick with trees to fly through.  Derpy managed to stop just in time to avoid clipping a wing.  The others were slower than Derpy, and stopped easily.  “I think we can walk for a bit.  We have a good head start.”
                
Once he’d been set down Pipsqueak began hopping up and down with agitation.  “Why did we run away?  We had them right where we wanted them!”
                
“Don’t sass my mother, Pip,” warned Dinky.
                
“Angel, Dear,” said Fluttershy.  “What did you do back there?”
                
“I don’t know!” cried Angel.  “I just cast my “Leave Me Alone” spell.  I don’t like to be held still.  But it’s just supposed to sting a little.  It’s not all big and glowy like that was!  My magic is acting really weird right now.”
                
“I think all magic is acting weird,” said Dinky.  “It makes my teeth itch.”
                
“I do feel a little funny,” admitted Angel.
                
“You’re feeling it more because you’re more magical than me,” said Dinky.  There was a distinct edge to her voice.
                
Shady had pushed forward through the trees.  “I see now why the plant life has grown so thick here.  It gets extra light.” 
                
They had come to the edge of an open path. 
                
After stumbling around the undergrowth it felt good to have open ground to walk on.  They followed the path for a while, until Shady stopped and looked around, an expression of shock on his face.
                
“Shady, what’s the matter?” asked Fluttershy.
                
“I… I know where we are!”  Shady sounded absolutely amazed.
                
“Now Shady, are you sure?”
                
“Oh, yes, I’m positive.  I recognize everything.  I know exactly where we are!   We’re… oh, no.  Everypony, off the path!  Right now, quickly, into the bushes and hide yourselves.”
                
No sooner had the last pony found a hiding place than the diamond dogs caught up with them.  They looked battered, but they were still moving at a very good pace.  They ran right past the hidden ponies, and continued down the path.
                
When the diamond dogs had rounded a bend and disappeared, Shady emerged from a bush.  “I knew they would catch up with us.  While we were flying along, dodging trees, they had a clear path to run along.  It’s… um, that game trail I couldn’t find earlier.  I think we were just right next to it.”
                
“What now?” asked Derpy.  “Those dogs will realize they aren’t following us anymore and come back.”
                
She was answered by the frightened yelps, howls, and screams that soon filled the air.
                
“Ah, it sounds as if our friends the diamond dogs have found the giant spiders,” said Shady.  “Good for them.  We should move on, while they’re distracted.”
                
“Um… Shady?  It’s the other way.”


#

                
“What is this!” roared Bowser.  “The little pony’s break is over.  Walk!”
                
“We aren’t going anywhere, and you can’t make us!” exclaimed Diamond Tiara.
                
“This is a treaty violation, and we won’t stand for it!” protested Silver Spoon.
                
Both fillies stamped their hooves for emphasis.
                
“Bowser is not running a democracy!  Bowser did not politely ask the little ponies to please be his slaves!!  Get in line and walk!!!”
                
“We aren’t going anywhere!”
                
“We refuse to take another step!”
                
“You aren’t the boss of us!”
                
“We refuse to follow any more of your orders!”
                
“Girls, this is not a good idea!” cried Cheerilee.  Before she could do anything to defuse the situation Bowser settled the matter.
                
“Fine!  Bowser will agree to the little ponies’ terms.  But Bowser cannot have little ponies following him.  You are advised to stand back.”  With that, Bowser gripped a support beam and ripped it away from the wall.  The ceiling groaned.
                
“What do you mean, ‘stand back’!” shrieked Diamond Tiara.  “You can’t tell me what to do…!”  Silver Spoon grabbed her by the mane and pulled her out of the way.
                
That was everyone’s last sight of them as the ceiling fell in and the tunnel was blocked.
                
“What have you done?!” screamed Cheerilee.  She ran to the rock fall and began digging at the rubble.  “You monster…what have you done?”
                
“Bowser has achieved a reasonable compromise.  The obnoxious little ponies are safe on their side, and Bowser’s ears are safe on this side.”
                
“But what will happen to them?  They’re all alone!”
                
“Oh, they will be found, eventually.  And things that might eat them do not roam these tunnels.  The forest wildlife does not like diamond dogs.  The pretty little teacher pony should not worry about the obnoxious ponies.  She should calm down and think about the little ponies she still has.”
                
“Calm down?  How do you expect me to calm down?”
                
“Consider this calming thought.  If the pretty little teacher pony does not tend to her little herd she will have to be replaced.  And Bowser will take her place himself.  Does the pretty little teacher pony prefer that the little ponies be taken care of her way, or Bowser’s?”
                
This had the sobering effect Bowser desired.  “Fine.  I will do what you ask.  But if I lead the children for you, you have to promise not to harm any of them.”
                
“Of course no ponies will be harmed, Bowser would not dream of it.  Bowser cannot afford to lose any more little ponies.  The carts will not pull themselves.”  He walked away, chuckling to himself.
                
Sweetie Belle was able to get close to Cheerilee and whisper.  “Don’t worry.  They’ll be Ok, they’re not alone.  Quiz will be with them.”


#

                
“Here we are children, we have finally come back to the main path we left long ago.”  Shady began preparing a torch.  “And just as the sun has set.  This will take us back to Ponyville, and we’ll be out of the Forest in only an hour or so.”
                
“Oh, thank goodness,” said Fluttershy.  “I’m afraid of the dark, and I’m afraid of the Forest, and I’m really, really afraid of both of those together.  I need to get home.”
                
“Do we have to?” whined Pipsqueak.  “It was just getting exciting!”
                
“Miss Cheerilee and the others don’t get to go home,” said Valory.  “That hardly seems fair.”
                
“The diamond dogs will probably put them in a cell,” whimpered Angel.  “It’ll be a little stone box, all cold and dark.  That’s terrible!”
                
“You won’t cry if you don’t think about it,” said Dinky.  “Oh, Darn it, I can’t stop thinking about it!”
                
“Now, kids, none of that!  You’ve done your job and you should be proud, but you’ve been relieved.”  Shady finally had his torch lit and was examining tracks on the path.  “See these, fresh hoof prints.  A search party from Ponyville has passed this way.  It’s time to turn the job over to them.”
                
“A search party!  Oh, that’s excellent!” cried Pip.  “Let’s go tell them what we know!”
                
“YAY!”
                
“Wait, stop, I didn’t mean….”  Shady was suddenly all alone, for the children had run off, and Derpy and Fluttershy were already chasing after them.  “Come back!”
                
All the adults could see of the foals was the light cast by Angel and Dinky’s horns.
                
The first sign of trouble came when that soft light turned a bright blue-green.


#

                
Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara hadn’t moved.  They were standing in the dark, facing the wall of rubble, crying.
                
The beige light grew very slowly and did not startle them. 
                
“Evening, Ladies!  Could you use a little company?”
                
“Shadow!”
                
“Shadow, you’ve come to rescue us!”
                
“Shadow, you’re our hero!”
                
The fillies threw themselves at Shadow, all but smothering him.  “Girls, please, it’s nothing.  I just happened to be in the neighborhood.”  Shadow was clearly enjoying the attention.
                
“I must look a terrible mess,” exclaimed Diamond, trying to dry her eyes.
                
“You both look fine,” said Shadow.  Then an afterthought occurred to him.  “Oh, and Quiz is here, too.”
                
“What?  Oh, hello, Quiz-ik-al,” sneered Diamond.  “Nice one, hiding while we all got captured!”
                
“Hi, Quiz,” said Silver.  “I’m glad you got away.  Bowser was looking for you.”
                
“Thank you, Silver Spoon.  As you and Diamond Tiara have discovered, Chief Bowser’s temper is not pleasant.”
                
“But that nightmare’s over now,” said Diamond.  “Shadow’s going to lead us all home now.”
                
“Um… yeah, that might be a problem.”  Shadow looked pained.  “It’s dark now, and I wouldn’t want us up in the Forest after dark.  It’s a lot safer down here.”
                
“Oh.  I guess we could make ourselves cozy here until daylight.”  Diamond batted her eyelashes at Shadow.  “Don’t you think we could make ourselves cozy?”
                
“Well, yeah, that might be nice,” muttered Shadow.  “But that’s a problem, too.  We have to keep an eye on your friends.  If we lose them they may never be rescued.”
                
“What?”  Diamond arched an eyebrow.  It was a warning, just as a cobra opening its hood is a warning.
                
“Well, yeah.  There’s a tunnel running parallel to this one, we could cross over to that to get around this blockage, then catch up with them…”
                
“You want us to follow them?!” shrieked Diamond.  “We just got away from them!”
                
“He’s right, Diamond,” said Silver.  “We shouldn’t let the others get lost.”
                
“Actually, I believe Shadow should guide you home,” said Quiz.  “You could travel most of the way underground where it is safe, and you would most likely run into a search party on the way.  I will follow Miss Cheerilee and our friends.”
                
“Oh, that sounds good, let’s do that,” cried Diamond.  “We go home, and Quizzical stays here.  That’s a great plan!”
                
“No, Quiz, you’d be out here all alone,” gasped Silver.
                
“I am not afraid to be alone,” said Quiz.
                
“We don’t split up, Quiz,” stated Shadow.  His tone left no room for argument.
                
“Fine!  Whatever!  Just give me a moment to get set.” Diamond drew something from her bag and set it carefully on her head.  “There, I guess I’m ready.  We can go and find this stupid parallel tunnel of yours.”
                
Shadow stared at her.  “You carry a spare tiara?”
                
“Yes, yes she does,” said Silver.
                
The little party set off; Shadow with a filly close on each side, Quiz following behind.
                                                                    


> Chapter 6  Zapped!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom


 



Chapter 6  Zapped!


 

                
Shadow peeked around a corner, then turned back to where the others were waiting.  “We’ve caught up to your friends.  Once we turn this corner we’ll fall in behind them again, and it’ll be just like we never lost them.  Quiz, put your light out.”
                
“Do we have to be in the dark?” whined Silver Spoon.  “It’s scary.”
                
“We wouldn’t if we weren’t tracking those stupid diamond dogs,” grumbled Diamond Tiara.
                
“Aww, cheer up, Girls.  We’re having an adventure!”  Shadow gave both fillies a hug.
                
“Well… it is kind of exciting,” admitted Diamond.  “Ok, we’ll do it for you, Shadow.”
                
“Excellent, I knew I could count on you.”  Shadow paused to consider something.  “We may need you to hang back a bit, Di.  That pretty coat of yours might stand out.  Silvey, you look good to go.”
                
“Some ponies can totally rock a dark coat,” giggled Silver, preening a bit for Shadow.
                
“And some can’t,” sneered Diamond.  She was looking right at Quiz.
                
“Allow me to walk ahead of you, Diamond Tiara.   You may use me for concealment.”  Quiz had nothing more to say, and began walking down the tunnel.


#

                
“Shhhh! Don’t wake those, they bite,” said Fern, indicating a cluster of snoring flowers.  “The orange ones can burn you.”
                
“What are they?” asked Tim.
                
“Snap dragons.”  Despite being in the dark, scary forest, Fern was having the time of her life.  “Oh, this is wonderful.  I’m seeing plants I’ve only read about.  There are even some I don’t recognize.”
                
“Fern, Darling, don’t take this the wrong way, but is everything growing out here a threat to life and limb?” asked Rarity.
                
“Oh, no, not at all.  Most of the plants are very nice.  Um, don’t touch any vines like the one growing on this rock.”
                
“Do I want to know?” asked Applejack, imagining constrictor vines dragging her into the ground.
                
“It’s called ‘scholastic ivy.’  You can brew a tea from the leaves that aides in learning.  Unfortunately, most ponies are allergic to it.”  Fern broke a leaf off the vine and began chewing it slowly.
                
Each pony had a light source.  Applejack carried a torch and each of the unicorns used magic.  Tim had a crank powered flashlight he’d designed himself.  Fern; who was afraid of open flames, magic, and electricity; used a bit of old wood with bioluminescent foxfire on it.  The forest was so thick nothing could cast light very far before it was broken into shadows.  At least the ponies could dispel the darkness enough to avoid tripping.
                
“We have left the map,” said Stranger.  “Here in the deep Forest maps have little meaning.  I have seen aerial maps where the rivers are drawn in blue hash marks.  Terrain features smaller than lakes disappear under the canopy.”
                
“Most pegasi hate this place,” said Tim.
                
“It’s not so bad, if you don’t mind walking,” said Fern.  “But the undergrowth is going to keep getting more and more dense.  The plants are adapted to grow in the dark out here.”
                
Luckily for the little party Applejack had found a dry creek bed to use as a path.
                
“Really, there is only one landmark you can use reliably,” said the Professor.
                
“Unless you count the escarpment and the gorge,” pointed out Rarity.  “Mind you, one comes upon those edges so suddenly you don’t see them until you’ve fallen off.”
                
“Eep!” squeaked Fern.
                
“Easy, Fern, you’ll be fine,” said Applejack.  “Unless you forget you have wings.”
                
“Oh, right,” muttered Fern, blushing.
                
Something called from the woods, “Ooogie, oogie, oogie!”
                
It was answered by more calls from all around them.
                
“Eeeep!”
                
“Steady, now, Fern, steady,” soothed Rarity.  “There is no place you can run to that is safer than right here beside us.”
                
“That is just the dangedest thing,” said Applejack.  “Half of Ponyville has heard the galumpalump call, or at least thinks they did.  But it’s always just one call in the night.”
                
“There are old tales about them,” said Stranger, levitating a binder of loose sheets from his bag.  “You only find them in the oldest journals; from when the Everfree was new and had not yet earned its reputation.  There was more exploration then.  Explorers only stopped going into the Everfree after many of them stopped coming back.”

“Eeeep!”
                
“Most of the tales are useless nonsense,” stated Stranger, leafing through the binder.  “Advice to ‘beware the moon,’ warnings against leaving food out after midnight, other silly things the writer was clearly just making up.  But I recall something about the galumpalumps gathering….  Here it is.  It is the journal of a mare named Strawberry.  In her day they were apparently called ‘gumper lumps.’  She says they gather in large numbers before storms.  She places quotation marks around the word ‘storms.’”
                
“Meaning Strawberry was not speaking literally,” said the Professor.  “And something was happening other than ordinary rain.”
                
“Yes,” said Stranger.  “But she does not explain herself.  That is not useful.”
                
“Bother!” grumbled Rarity.  She was not paying attention to the conversation.  “There is something in the air tonight, and it keeps turning my pretty blue magic aura a tacky shade of green!”


#

                
“I can see something glowing on the horizon,” Autumn called from the tree tops.  The Blue team’s three pegasi had been taking turns flying up to take a peek.
                
“Is it a signal fire?” asked Stone.
                
Autumn fluttered back to the forest floor.  She shook her head.  “It’s blue-green, like an aura, I guess.  If you squint you can see it everywhere; in the clouds, outlining the trees…”
                
“Um, Autumn, you have a little something on you, there,” said Rainbow.
                
Autumn’s wings were glowing.  “Eww!”  With a fierce flutter she shook off the magic aura, and it went swirling away to dissipate and disappear.
                
“I think that’s just lovely,” gasped the Mayor.  “We need photographs of this, for the cover of our tourist brochures.”
                
“Don’t you think the whole idea of tourism in the Everfree Forest is dead?” snapped Professor Heart.
                
“As soon as the children are found safely we can begin damage control,” said the Mayor.  “We can take steps to show that nothing like this will go wrong again…”
                
“The first step would be to stay out of the Everfree Forest!”
                
“Geeze,” Navy whispered to Stone.  “You would think somepony who writes Daring Do fanfic would be a little more adventurous.”
                
“If this aura is truly magic it makes sense that Autumn could see the glow over the horizon,” said Infernalo.  “That is where the magic would be strongest.  If you are certain that is where we wish to go I have a spell that could take us there immediately.”
                
“Immediately?  I like the sound of that,” said Rainbow.
                
“What do you plan to do, open a portal?” shouted Professor Heart.  “Because with magic acting unpredictably the obvious course of action is naturally to experiment with powerful and dangerous spells.”
                
“Professor Heart, your sarcasm grows tiresome,” stated Infernalo.  Without another word to anypony he began casting his spell.
                
Briefly, the entrance to a dark tunnel did appear, floating in the air in front of Infernalo.  That same instant the woods as far as the ponies could see was filled with vivid pyrotechnic effects, so blinding and garish none of them were quite sure what it was they saw.  Infernalo dispelled his magic, and they were plunged into darkness again.
                
“Well, that wasn’t right,” said Infernalo, clearly shaken.  “That was so far from right it wasn’t even wrong.  I’m not sure how that was even possible.”

“That was just stunning,” cried the Mayor.  “Can you do that again?  For festivals and celebrations?”
                
“Not on purpose, no.”
                
“What does it mean?” asked Stone.
                
“It means we’re walking,” said Rainbow.
                
Excited cries of “Oogie, oogie, oogie!” echoed all around them.


#

                
“That’s just remarkable!” exclaimed Twilight.  “I thought the galumpalump stories were just the locals teasing me because I’m not from Ponyville.”
                
“Oh, dear,” muttered Old Relic.  “They should still be solitary.  If the galumpalumps have started gathering that means a storm is coming early, and we are caught out in the open.”
                
Relic rummaged in her bag until she produced a champagne flute, which she upended and set over her horn.  “Dearie, I’m afraid I only have one insulator,” she told Twilight.  “You might want to duck.”


#

                
Suddenly, the whole world seemed to turn blue-green.  A shock wave ripped through the forest, but it didn’t seem to actually do anything.  The cries of the galumpalumps became deafening, but they soon settle down and the forest became silent.
                
Most of the ponies weren’t effected at all, and were fine once the purple spots cleared from their vision.
                
Every unicorn in the Everfree Forest at that moment, however, was knocked to their knees.


#


“What the hay was that!” yelled Applejack.

“And what has it done to my hair!” cried Rarity.  She began looking for her hand mirror, but Applejack put a calming hoof on her shoulder.

“You’ll be happier if you don’t look, Sugar Cube.”

The Professor swayed unsteadily, and he was breathing hard, but he was able to gasp, “That was a strike from a magical storm, just exactly in the manner that magical theorists insist never happens.”
                
“W-w-will it happen again?” stammered a bush.
                
“Oh, yes, Fern,” answered the Professor.  “It is difficult to be certain, as this is supposed to be impossible, after all.  However, Clover the Clever’s fifth equation implies that magic may act similarly to electro-magnetism.  That seems apropos to our present situation.  If we think of what happened as a magical analogue to lightning then there should be more strikes before the storm is over.”
                
He suddenly sat down heavily, too dizzy to lecture further.
                
“So the whole forest is a magic capacitor, building up for another discharge,” said Tim.  He was helping Stranger to stand.
                
“I fear as much,” said Stranger.  He had to lean on Tim for support.  “We did not experience a direct hit.  But we must get to cover.”
                
“Agreed,” said the Professor, from where he laid on the ground.  “To continue the lightning analogy, the strike hit a magic source stronger than us, but there was, and will be side rivulets of magic that will be attracted to us.  Also, I sense the atmosphere is saturated.  Any magic we absorb will have no way to dissipate.”
                
“I think I can help with that,” said Tim.  He found a spool of something in his pack.
                
“So, the more powerful your magic is the more a strike will use you as a ‘ground,’ as it were?” asked Rarity.  “Oh, dear!  Oh, dear, oh dear, oh dear!”
                
“I know what you’re thinkin’, Rare,” said Applejack.  “Twilight is out here.”


#

                
“I don’t feel so good,” moaned Twilight.
                
The Chick brothers laughed and pointed.  “You look like a bushwoolie!”
                
“You’ll want to bleed off a little of the excess you soaked up, Dearie,” Relic told Twilight.  “Go ahead, you’ll feel better.”
                
Twilight sat back and fired a bolt of energy into the air.  Burnt leaves drifted down. The enchanted static that was making her coat stand on end dissipated, and she looked a little less like a purple cotton ball.
 
“Thank you, that does help.  What happened?”
                
“Magic storm,” said Relic.  “We get them out here.  This one’s come about a month early, and it looks to be worse than usual.”
                
“I’ve never heard of such a thing.”  Though she was recovering, Twilight still did not feel ready to stand. 
                
“That’s because you egg-headed unicorns worry about things like how many quantum thaums can fit on the end of a pin, and other such nonsense,” said Relic, with a snort.  “You could learn something more practical if you just bothered to ask somepony like me, who lives out here.”
                
“Will that happen again?” asked Mustang. 
                
“Oh, yes, this could go on all night.  Most of the strikes will hit over that way.”  Relic pointed.  “There’s a grove of wild zap apples there, and some of those trees are close to a hundred feet tall.  It’s good for them.”
                
“What about us?” asked Sky.
                
“No magic, no problem, you’ll never notice a thing” said Relic.  Then she indicated Twilight.  “This one, on the other hoof, is a little magic lightning rod.  They’ll be side branches off every strike that’ll knock her on her flank.  We need to get her to shelter.”
                
Pinkie went to Twilight and gave her a big hug.  “C’mon, Twi, you’ll be fine.  Don’t cry.”
                
“I… I’m worried about my students.  What is this doing to Quiz and Angel?  They have no protection!”
                
“So we find them,” declared Sky.  “We should be getting close, right?  Closer than the Blue Team, anyway.”


#

               
Infernalo leaned against a tree and gasped for air.   He began to drone, as if repeating a lesson, “Magic sometimes acts as if it is a particle, sometimes as if it is a wave, and sometimes it acts like a donut…”
                
“He’s babbling,” said Navy.  “Are you alright, Stone?”
                
“Yeah, I’m just a little dizzy,” answered Stone Hoof.  “I don’t use a lot of a magic, not like Infernalo.  I usually think it’s easier just to pick something up and carry it than to use a spell.  That seems to make a difference in how whatever that was affected you.”
                
“I will be well,” said Infernalo.  “My head is already clearing.”
                
“Will you finally take my advice?” demanded Professor Heart.  “Are you ready to go back to Ponyville?”
                
“Not a chance,” snapped Rainbow. “Some of the kids are unicorns; they need us more than ever.  And we’re going to get to them before the Red Team!”


#

                
“Wow, that was really interesting!” exclaimed Snails.  “Can we do that again?”
                
“I hope you are okay, Thnails,” said Twist, who was the only thing keeping him on his hooves.  “But if you are faking jutht to get me to hold you I am going to clobber you.”
                
“No, I’ll be fine in a moment,” said Snails.  “Not that this isn’t nice… oww!”
                
“I’m okay, too,” gasped Snips, from the floor.
                
“What happened?” asked Cheerilee.
                
“Magic lightening,” said Bowser.  “Diamond dogs do not care much about that, we use no magic.  But it seems that little unicorns do not like it at all.  Bowser will be kind, as he sees no reason to fry the little unicorns.  We will move to a lower level.  The rock will protect the delicate little unicorns' heads.”
                
Scootaloo whispered to Sweetie Belle.  “Belle, are you alright?”
                
“Yeah.  I wasn’t singing, and I don’t channel magic without music.” Despite her reassurance, Sweetie Belle looked like she’d stuck her horn in a light socket.  She pointed to Snips and Snails.  “But that flash affected these two; what could it do to a unicorn who’s actually good with magic?”
                
She looked back up the tunnel behind them, but all she saw was darkness.  “Poor Quiz.  I’m so worried about her I could just cry.”


#


“Hay, watch where you’re going!”
                
Blind, and staggering, Quiz had stumbled into Diamond Tiara.  Diamond jumped aside, leaving nothing holding Quiz up.  She went over like a felled tree.
                
“Diamond, she’s sick, and you just let her fall!” Shadow gasped.
                
“Oh, don’t worry, Shadow, it’s just Quiz.”  Diamond went over and leaned on him.  “She hurts herself all the time, she’s used to it.”
                
Quiz had managed to sit up.  “That was a very extraordinary phenomenon.  However, I do not wish to do that again.”
                
“See, Shadow, there was nothing to worry about.  She’s indestructible,” said Diamond.  “Like a cockroach.”
                
“I do have to protest, Diamond Tiara,” said Quiz.  “I do not have accidents so often I am used to being hurt.”
                
“Yeah, Quiz, you kinda do,” said Silver Spoon.
                
“I am fine, and I would notice if I were not,” said Quiz, hardly sounding defensive at all.  “I have other things to worry about.  The flash was unpleasant, here in the tunnels where there is protection.   It troubles me to imagine what that was like on the surface.  I know that Miss Twilight is in the forest searching for us tonight.   She would not stay away.   Also, young Angel is a very precocious unicorn; if she is still in the forest the flash would harm her severely.”
                
“Don’t worry, Quiz,” said Shadow.  “My Dad led the little ones back to Ponyville hours ago.”  I hope, thought Shadow.  There’s been enough time for even Dad to find his way, hasn’t there?


#

                
Fluttershy had an ear pressed against Angel’s chest.  The little unicorn lay very still.
                
“She’s breathing,” Fluttershy finally said.  “But her poor heart’s just racing.  And she’s so warm!”
                
Dinky wasn’t even trying not to cry.  “Angel’s hurt because her magic is so much stronger than mine.  Oh, Momma, I was jealous of her!  I feel so bad!”
                
“Shh!  Don’t think like that,” soothed Derpy.  “That just doesn’t help.”
                
Dinky tried to remember what Twilight had taught her.  It was difficult to think.  “Angel must have absorbed more magic than she can handle.  She can’t release it unless she wakes up, and it won’t just fade away.  There’s no place for it to go, the air is saturated with magic!”
                
“I don’t know how to revive her,” said Fluttershy.  The others could barely hear her speak.  “I’m very frightened.”
                
Time to be brave, Dinky told herself.  It wasn’t easy.  She was still a little dizzy, and she was sick with worry.  But Dinky managed to clear her head enough for an idea to emerge.  What if what makes me a bad magician is just what I need to help Angel?
                
“I want to try something,” declared Dinky.  She touched Angel’s horn with her own.
                
“Muffin, stop, that looks dangerous!” cried Derpy.  But Dinky had already begun.
                
Dinky’s problem with magic was at the most fundamental level.  There is some magic almost everywhere, but to use it a unicorn must be able to find it and channel it.  Dinky could never seem to gather up enough magic to cast a decent spell.
                
But this was different.  “There’s so much!” gasped Dinky, her eyes wide with awe. “This is easy!”
                
A more experienced unicorn would have had to fight to control the torrent.  Dinky hadn’t learned how to be that open to magic yet.  She was able to let it trickle in.

Dinky began to glow.  The air around her crackled.
                
“That’s enough, stop now,” cried Derpy.  “Please, Muffin!”
                
“Just a little more.”  Dinky refused to quit until she was sure Angel would be alright.
                
Angel’s eyes fluttered.  “Are we home yet?” she asked, sleepily.
                
“Dinky, you did it!” yelled Pip.  “Way to go!”
                
“Yay!”
                
“No, don’t touch me.”  Dinky waved her friends back as they surged forward to give her a group hug.  “Whoa, I’m totally stuffed.  Stay back until I can get rid of some of this.”
                
A unicorn gets rid of magic by using it.  Dinky reached out to a boulder the size of a cart and tried to levitate it.  She didn’t expect to actually lift it.  Dinky didn’t think the rock would move at all.  She thought she would just tug at it with nothing happening, until all the excess magic was burnt off.
                
Not only did the boulder rise into the air, it glowed cherry red.  Then it melted.
                
What was now a pool of lava blocked the path back to Ponyville.
                
“Um, did I do that?” asked Dinky.
                
The forest was still dry from the long summer.  The lava ignited first the brambles, then every tree it touched.  Soon there was a terrifying blaze.  The wind was blowing the fire towards the ponies.
                
“Run!”
                
            


> Chapter 7 Lucky Little Ponies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom



Chapter 7  Lucky Little Ponies


 

                
“See, Girls, this isn’t so bad,” said Shadow.  “A nice walk in the evening, good company, I’d say we were lucky… um, Quizzie?  There aren’t any trees down here to walk into, but you still really should be paying attention.”
                
“What?  Oh, dear, I am sorry, Shadow.”  Quiz had been making entries in her notebook.  “I do understand that our situation calls for focus, but I could not resist.  It is just that I find one gains extraordinary insights about friendship when one is force into the company of those who do not like you.”
                
Diamond Tiara answered this with a derisive snort.  Silver Spoon looked away.
                
“You could hurt a pony’s feelings saying things like that, Quizzie,” noted Shadow.  “So, where do I fit in your observations?”
                
“You?  Oh, my, I suppose, if this were an experiment then you would be the neutral control.”
                
“Oh, really?”  It was impossible to tell from Shadow’s tone whether he was angry, or about to laugh.
                
Diamond sneered, “Gee, Shadow, she thinks pretty highly of you, doesn’t she?”
                
Quiz actually blushed.  “Please do not take offense, Shadow.  It is just that I hold the title ‘friend’ very dear.  It is precious to me, and I do not bestow it lightly.  We have only just met.”
                
“Well, I also hold the title friend precious and dear,” stated Shadow.  “That’s why I bestow it freely, every chance I get.”
                
“Oh, my,” muttered Quiz.  “That is quite extraordinary.  I shall have to make a note of that.”
                
“Quiz!”
                
“Just a quick note, and I will put it away.  I promise.”


#

                
The brush lining the path tore at the tips of Derpy’s wings and she winced.  The trail they were running along was too narrow for a pegasus to fly.  But gusts of wind from the fire would shower them with cinders, and Derpy flared her wings to protect the children ahead of her.
                
The ponies easily stayed ahead of the fire on the ground.  But the blaze had reached the tree tops, where the wind drove the fire across the crowded canopy.  The fire above them would soon overtake the ponies.
                
The path ended at a field of reeds and cattails.  “Good news, folks,” said Shady.  “We have come to the marsh at the edge of Terminal Lake.”
                
“Terminal?”
                
“It’s just a name, Fluttershy.  It just means we’ve come to the end of the road.”
                
“That doesn’t sound any better, Shady.”
                
“This place is no more dangerous than anywhere in the Forest.”
                
“Please stop reassuring me, Shady.”
                
“All I mean is…” Shady stopped suddenly, and pointed at Derpy.  “You might want to splash a little water on that, Dear.”
                
“Momma!  You’re on fire!” cried Dinky.
                
“What?  Oh, dear.  But no, Muffin, I’m not on fire.  I’m just smoldering a little.”  Everywhere the cinders had touched they had burned holes through the barbs of Derpy’s feathers.  Her wings were a smoking ruin.  Since the heat had not reached the sensitive roots of the shafts, and Derpy had never felt a thing.
                
“I’ll stop smoking in a moment, don’t mind me,” said Derpy.  A vigorous flap of her wings shed a cloud of cinder dust and burnt feathers.
                
“Well, clipped wings or not, we should be safe now,” said Shady, somewhat taken aback. “The Forest runs right up to the bank of Terminal Lake on the south side…”
                
“That’s north, Shady.”
                
“Um, well, yes, north.  The marsh goes around the other side of the lake.  The wind is blowing the fire the other way, through the trees.  If we just circle the lake to the right…”
                
“That’s the left, Shady.”
                
“Yes, left, thank you Fluttershy.   Anyway, we stay in the marsh and we shall reach the far side of the lake.  Step lightly, everypony.  Stay where the water is shallow, no more than a hoof deep.  Large constrictor snakes like to lay in ambush where it’s deeper…”
                
“Eep!”  Fluttershy cringed.  “Shady, is the next thing you say going to be about crocodiles?”
                
“Well, now that you mention it, we better keep as far back from the bank as we can.”  Shady began leading them through the marsh.  “I can only wrestle one of them at a time.  That might be why the crocs have taken to hunting in threes…”
                
“The more casually you talk about these things the more you terrify me, Shady.”
                
“What?” Shady was distracted by something he had spied on the lake’s shore.  “Oh, good, we may not have to walk.”
                
He did not get to explain.  The diamond dogs that had been chasing them stood in the reeds ahead of them, blocking their way.
                
“Hello little ponies,” said Dagget.  “You have the fire on one side and the lake to another.  The only safe way you have is with us.  It is time to surrender.”


#

                
“I look ridiculous,” exclaimed Rarity.
                
“You wanted to be grounded.  Just be glad copper conducts magic,” said Tim.  He had wound copper wire around each of the unicorn’s horns, then left a strand dangling on the ground.  “Most of the static magic has bled off and your mane is lying flat again.  You should be feeling better as well.”
                
“Yes, well, I do feel somewhat more settled.  Thank you, Tim.”  Rarity finally had the courage to take out her hand mirror, and was now looking for a brush.
                
“I rather like mine,” said the Professor.  “You should give more consideration to the fashion possibilities of precious metals.  Copper in particular, though a very handsome metal, is underrated as it is of less value than gold or…oww!”
                
While pushing through the undergrowth the Professor had collided with something hard.  The ponies tore aside vines and branches to reveal a huge stone, about the size of a kitchen table, carved square and with a flat top.
                
“That looks like a… Eep!”  Fern shrieked and dove for cover.  “It’s an altar stone!  Primitive ponies made live sacrifices on that!”
                
“It’s the base of a tower,” said Tim.
                
“Are you sure?”
                
“Yes, Fern.  You can still see the mounting brackets.  The stains are from rust.”
                
“What do you suppose it was for?” asked Applejack.
                
Tim stepped up to the block for a closer look.  “This would have supported something relatively light, say an open frame iron work.  My best guess is this used to be a windmill for a water pump.  If we look around we should find what’s left of a well or a pump house.”
                
“If that was a windmill then all this land would have been cleared for the crops they were irrigating,” said Applejack.  “Some of these trees are hundreds of years old!”
                
“That fits,” said Stranger.  “Most ponies abandoned the Everfree a thousand years ago.”
                
There was a startled cry, then a muffled call from the Professor.  “I believe I have found what is left of the pump house.”
                
The other ponies soon found the hole he had fallen through.  Applejack began to ready her rope.  “Hang on, Professor.  We’ll have you out of there in a jiffy.”
                
“Actually, I was going to propose you all join me down here,” called the Professor.  “Though I suggest you find a better method of descending than mine.”
                
“What do you see, Professor?” asked Applejack.
                
“I am in the building’s foundation.  Beware, for the ground is unstable.  The sod seems to have woven over what was once the floor.  But there are tunnels carved through this basement, and there are tracks.”
                
“Tracks?  Diamond dog tracks?”
                
“Yes, but also hoof prints.  The children were led this way.”
                
“Well, that settles it,” declared Applejack.  “Fern, Tim, could you please fly us down there?”


#

                
Rainbow Dash zoomed down from the canopy.   “You were right, Stone Hoof.  It’s smoke, we got us a forest fire.  The kids probably started it while trying to make a signal fire.”
                
“It might have been started by the pony-nappers,” Infernalo pointed out.  “Perhaps they are trying to drive us out of the Forest.”
                
Rainbow answered with a derisive snort.  “You don’t know the kids like I do.  I bet it was Scootaloo’s idea.  Anyway, it’s time to saddle up.  We need to take this fire down, Weather Patrol style!”
                
“Excellent,” said Navy, flexing his wings and showing off the three raindrops of his cutie mark.  “I’m always up for a little rain making.  Especially after all the walking around we’ve been doing.”
                
“How about you, Autumn?” asked Rainbow.  “You do remember how to buck storm clouds, don’t you?”
                
Autumn shot her a fierce look.  “Rainbow Dash, I’m on Fall leaf duty because I choose to be.  I happen to like it.  Don’t think for a second that means I can’t buck clouds with the best of you.”
                
“Wait, wait, wait!” cried Professor Heart.  “Are you ponies serious?  You want to move storm clouds around?  These clouds?  The glowing, magic soaked, scary clouds?  Do you have any idea what will happen if you play around with them?”
                
Everypony looked at Infernalo, who was their magic expert.  Infernalo shrugged.  “Try not to get it on anypony?” he said, weakly.
                
“Anypony as close to the fire line as we’ll be working has a lot more to worry about than a little glowing rain,” stated Rainbow Dash.
                
“Maybe it’s therapeutic,” said the Mayor.  She went on, dreamily, “We could build a spa someday.  Ponies would come from all over Equestria to bath in our magic showers…”
                
“Come to the Everfree Spa, unicorns must wear hazmat suits!” sneered Professor Heart.
                
“Let’s get to it before the Forest burns down,” said Navy, ignoring the Professor.  “We just need a signal so we can find our way back.”
                
“How’s this?” asked Stone Hoof.  “Timber!”
                
Stone buck a tree hard, and it slowly fell over, thundering to the ground as it tore through other tree’s branches on the way down.  “Do you think you could notice that?”
                
“Stone!  That tree was perfectly healthy!”  cried Autumn.  “Couldn’t you pick an old, sick one?”
                
“A little forest management is a good thing,” said the Mayor. “It lets in the light, right?”
                
“Can we just get on with this?” demanded Rainbow Dash.  She zoomed away without waiting for an answer.


#

                
Sky landed gently next to the rest of the party.  “All that zooming around is definitely the Blue Team.  They’re using the storm clouds to fight a forest fire.”
                
“Is that safe?” asked Mustang.
                
Everypony looked at Relic.  She shrugged.  “They should try not to get it on anypony.”
                
“I sure don’t want to shower in glowy magic stuff!” exclaimed one of the Chick brothers.
                
“The magic saturated rain is an unknown,” said Twilight.  “The forest fire is a known hazard, and it has to be dealt with.  Sky, you want to join them, don’t you.”
                
Sky nodded emphatically.  “I really, really do!”
                
“You’ll need a signal to find your way back, or else you’ll have to stick with them,” said Twilight.
                
“Stick with them?  You mean join the Blue Team?  No way!  I want to find you guys again.”
                
“Oh, oh, let me handle it!” cried Pinkie.  “I have something that’s just perfect.”


#

                
“You left us to the spiders, Dr. Stalker,” said Dagget.  “That was not nice.”
                
“They laughed at us,” whimpered Alpha.  “They looked like little clowns surrounding us and they laughed and laughed and laughed!”
                
“Yes, that sounds like them,” said Shady.  “Big Top spiders are famous for their sense of fun.”
                
“Shut up, Alpha,” snapped Dagget.  “It is time for you and the other little ponies to surrender to us, Dr. Stalker.  Unless you prefer to face the fire, or the crocodiles of the lake, you must come to us.”
                
Digger suddenly fell to his knees, wailing and clutching his head.
                
“That was a blunt tip, diamond dog,” said Valory, waving her bow.  “The next arrow won’t be.  Do you like jewelry?  I can pierce your ears for you.”
                
“Valory!  Is that any way to talk?” gasped Fluttershy.
                
“I would only ever threaten one of the bad guys, Miss Fluttershy,” Val protested.  “Isn’t that permitted?”
                
“I think I need to speak with your parents about your reading habits.”
                
Dagget gave his companion a kick.  “Get up, Digger!  I… Digger?  Are you crying?!”
                
“It hurts, Dagget!  It hurts a lot!  She shot me in the face!”
                
“Do not cry in front of the ponies, Digger.  How are we to intimidate them if they see you crying?”
                
“But it hurts!  It hurts worse than that other place she shot me!”
                
Derpy flexed her damaged wings.  “I can barely get the lift to fly.  I’ll never be able to carry any of the kids.”
                
Fluttershy looked out across the lake.  “The fire is already creating wind, and it’s not safe to fly in these drafts.  I might drop… if I’m carrying a child I might… I can’t say it.”
                
“Oh, don’t worry, Ladies,” Shady drawled casually.  “We won’t need to fly to escape.”
                
Shady climbed a huge rock at the lake’s edge.  “If you will all join me, here, we can be underway.”
                
The others spared a moment to look a Shady like he was crazy before joining him.  The last atop the rock was Pipsqueak.
                
“Are we really going to run away again?” Pip protested.  “But we’re the Ambush Raiders!”
                
“Now, Pip, you know we can’t get into a fight until we’ve gotten Angel to safety,” soothed Shady.  The little unicorn lying on his back helped make his point by moaning softly.
                
“Yes, Sir,” said Pip, obediently mounting the rock.
                
“Everyone comfortably aboard?  Great.”  Shady tapped the rock gently with a hoof and called out.  “George?  Are you awake?  Could you give us a ride to the far shore, please?”
                
The rumble that answered him was barely recognizable as a voice.  “Uuuuuuuuuvvvvvvvvv kkkkkkkkkkkooooooorrrrrrrrrssssssssss, dddddddddookkkkktttttttrrrrrr Sssssssstttttaawwwwwkkkkkkkrrrrrrrrrrr.”
                
The “rock” rose and began to swim across the lake with the little ponies on his back.
                
“Wait, what are you doing?!” screamed Dagget, jumping up and down, his arms flailing madly.  “Do you not understand?!  You are supposed to surrender to Me!!!”
                
“Children, wave good bye to the diamond dogs,” said Shady.  “We may not be seeing them again.”
                
And they all waved good bye.


#

                
“What do we do now, Dagget?” asked Alpha.
                
“We dig,” declared Dagget.  “First, to get away from this fire.  Then to find one of our tunnels, one that goes the right way.  We will get ahead of these ponies, we will catch them, and we will teach them a lesson!”
                
“Can’t we just go home?” whined Alpha.
                
“No!  And Digger?  Stop crying!”


#

                
“I think we’re lucky ponies,” said Shadow.  “I’d certainly rather be here than back at camp, cataloguing specimens.”
                
“What sort of specimens?” asked Diamond Tiara.  “Rocs?  Bugbears?  Vampire vines?”
                
“Beetle larva.”
                
“Eww!” cried Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara together.
                
“Oh, grubs aren’t that gross,” said Shadow.  “But the work is almost as exciting as it sounds.  What can I say?  Grubs are important to a forest’s ecology, and there are a lot of them.  On the plus side, if I discover a new species I get to name it.  How does Melolonthini diamondtiarii sound?”
                
“Um… gee, thanks, Shadow.  But, maybe you should name your grub after Quiz instead.”
                
“Anyway, you can see why I’d rather be here.  How about you, Gals?”
                
“Yeah, I guess this is better than being home alone, in my room, with nothing to do,” grumbled Diamond.
                
“You are grounded again, Diamond Tiara?” asked Quiz.
                
“Yes, but it’s not your fault this time, Quiz-ik-al!”
                
“It was never my fault, Diamond Tiara.”
                
Diamond ignored her.  “I wouldn’t have been caught if my best friend had been there to help look out for the truant officer.”
                
“I told you I couldn’t play hooky with you!” protested Silver Spoon.  “I couldn’t afford to get caught.  If I was grounded tonight I’d miss…oh, never mind.”
                
“That’s right, Silver, you’re going to miss your little game tonight anyway.”
                
“What are you missing, Silvey?” asked Shadow.
                
“Go on, Silver.  Tell Shadow about your big night,” sneered Diamond.  “While you’re at it, tell him about what you do every week in the back room of the Ponyville Hotel.”
                
“You knew about that?!”
                
“Girl, you can’t keep secrets from me!  You should know better than to try.  Go on, tell Shadow what a little closet nerd you really are.”
                
“Don’t worry about it, Silvey,” said Shadow.  “Like I said, I get excited about naming beetles.  And Quizzie…”
                
“Is Quiz!” giggled Diamond.
               
 “…is not going to look down on anypony for being nerdy,” finished Shadow.  “Really, who in this tunnel is going to judge you?”
                
Diamond Tiara snorted, but withheld comment.
                
They could hardly hear Silver Spoon’s answer.  “I was going to the Gaming Convention.”
                
“You play Advanced Destriers and Delvers, Silver Spoon?” asked Quiz.
                
Silver shook her head.  “I don’t play much anymore.  I run the games.  I’m the Game Master.”
                
Quiz and Shadow were still trying to come up with a response to this confession when Silver began to cry.
                
“It’s not fair!  The Guild of Story Tellers accepted my module for the tournament final.  I was so proud!  And it was going to be so much fun! Only the best of the best role-players make it to that table.  Players like Big Macintosh.  He’s the greatest.  That’s so much better than the munchkins and power geeks I have to put up with just to get a game most weeks.  I don’t know how many times I’ve had to tell Snips and Snails I wouldn’t let them roll up alicorns!  But none of that stuff tonight.  Tonight was going to be the best time ever.  Now it’s ruined!  Dumb diamond dogs.”
                
There are times even Diamond Tiara can tell when she’s pushed a pony too far.    Shadow moved to comfort Silver Spoon, but Diamond reacted first.  She went to her sobbing best friend, and gave her a little nudge. 
                
“Come on, Silver.  You know your game will get rescheduled.  Your friends in the Guild of Geeks wouldn’t trust their precious final to some loser alternate.  They need their star Game Master.”
                
Silver tried to wipe away tears with her hooves.  Shadow handed her a handkerchief.   “Do you really think so, Diamond?”
                
“Well, duh!  Besides, they’ll be missing most of their players.  Those geeks all think they really are bold adventurers, so most of them volunteered for search parties and stuff.  You know Big Mac did, ‘cause he’s crazy stupid over Miss Cheerilee.”
                
“Yeah, that sounds about right, based on the gamer nerds I went to school with,” said Shadow, chucking.
                
“I agree.” said Quiz.  “And I sincerely hope that is correct.  Otherwise, that you have been robbed of the great moment you deserve is yet another crime we may charge to Chief Bowser.”
                
Silver Spoon wiped her eyes and blew her nose.  “Thanks guys.  Thanks a lot.”
                
“I feel I must confess, I now feel some jealousy of you, Silver Spoon,” said Quiz.
                
“Jealous?  Of me?!”
                
“Certainly,” said Quiz.  “To be able to craft stories, to create worlds, with little more than your imagination, is a talent I admire very much.  It is a talent I am saddened not to have.”
                
“Wow, thank you, Quiz.  Um, do you play AD&D?”
                
“I have long had a fascination for the game.  The volumes of rules, the dice of geometric solids, and that they let you make maps on graph paper.  I find all that attractive.  But I have been told that I miss the point of the game.”
                
“Well…” Silver Spoon failed to suppress a laugh.  “Yeah, kind of.”
                
“The Magic Academy I attended before coming to Ponyville had a very active gaming society.  But I was never invited to play.”
                
“Oh.”  Silver Spoon could think of nothing she wished to add.
                
“Not a big surprise,” muttered Diamond Tiara, under her breath.
                
“So, Quizzie,” said Shadow, afraid the uncomfortable silence would stretch on, “What would you be doing if you weren’t here tonight?”
                
“Tomorrow I am scheduled for student teaching, I wished to review my lesson plan and brush up on the topic.  It is of concern to me.”
                
Diamond Tiara blew a raspberry.  “You’re teaching tomorrow?  Well, maybe we’ll get lucky and get stuck down here all day.”
                
“Wait, what?” exclaimed Silver Spoon.  “Quiz, did you just say that you’re concerned about a lesson?”
                
Quiz nodded.  “It is a grammar lesson.  I understand the subject, in theory.  But it is something with which I have no practice at all.  There are nuances that escape me.  I fear you and the other students will not benefit from my teaching.  You are all given to an inherent understanding that I do not have.”
                
“Okay, now you have my attention,” said Diamond.  “What could we possibly be studying that you don’t already know all about, Quiz?”
                
“Contractions.”


#

                
Sky arrived where the other pegasi were fighting the fire, expertly sheparding a large storm cloud into place.  After a moment’s study she found the perfect place to kick it, causing the cloud to pour rain on the fire.
                
“Good job, Sky,” called Rainbow Dash.  “You have some pretty good moves for a Cloud Island pony.”
                
“Cloudsdale doesn’t have a monopoly on skills, Rainbow,” Sky answered. 
                
“Hay, do you guys know anything about what this rain can do?”
                
Sky shook her head.  “The only advice I got was not to get it on any pony.”
                
“Yeah, I heard that, too.”  Rainbow jumped on a cloud to squeeze the last drops out of it.  “Luckily, this stuff is just as wet as regular rain.  A couple more passes and we should have the fire out.”
                
“Sounds good.  Have you guys learned anything about the kids?”
                
“No, but we think we know where they are going.”
                
“We think we figured that out, too.  And it was definitely diamond dogs.”
                
“We can exchange information after we’re done,” said Rainbow.  “Enough chat, more work.  Go get yourself another storm cloud, Sky.”
                
Rainbow zoomed away.  The other pegasi soon followed.


#

                
The work of the Weather Patrol ponies was a study in precision.  They picked just the right clouds, and surgically removed them from the rest of the front.  They hardly spilled any rain, except for a bit of drizzle that just happened to fall near a diamond dog air shaft.  The rain was trapped by a dam of dry leaves.  This formed a deep puddle on the lip of the shaft; just waiting for the leaves to give, and for water to pour down the shaft.


#

                
The giant turtle came to rest against a grassy bank, and the little ponies climbed off his back.
                
“Thanks, George.  I owe you a big one,” called Shady.
                
“Nnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooo, ppppppprrrrrrrrrrooooooooooobbbbllllmmmmmm, ddddddddddookkkkkkttttrrrrr, sssssssttttttttttttaaaaaawwwwwwwkkkkkkkrrrrrrrrrrrr.   Seeeeeeee, yyyyyyyyyooooooooo, innnn, thuuuu, ssssssssssssspppppppppprrrrrrrrriiiiiiingggggggggggggg,”
                
“Right.  You go find a cozy muddle wallow to sleep through the winter.  ‘Night, George.”  Shady watched George swim away.  “Here’s some advice, Ladies.  If you get a chance to befriend a giant turtle, do so.  You make a friend for life, and your grandchildren’s lives, and their grandchildren’s lives.”
                
“He seems very nice,” said Fluttershy.
                
“Oh, yeah, George is a fine fella.  And it was amazingly easy to get on his good side.  All I had to do was listen to him.  He speaks so slowly that no one wanted to talk to him, and he was just starved for some conversation.  I will confess, I spent a lot of time reviewing my field note while he talked.”
                
“So,” began Derpy.  “Where do we go now?”
                
“Oh, I don’t know,” said Shady.  “Our survey area ended at the other lake shore.  I’ve never been here.”
                
“Oh,dear,” gasped Fluttershy.  She began to tremble.  “The woods look so….thick…and dense…and mean…”
                
“Hey, look what I found!” called Valory.
                
It was a large hole in an outcrop, more than big enough for a pony to walk through.  The inside of the hole was plugged by a boulder, but that was easily rolled aside.
                
“Oh, no!” cried Fluttershy.  “Oh, no, no, no, NO!  The Everfree Forest is not the place for exploring unknown holes in the ground.”
                
All around them the calls began again.  “Oogie oogie, oogie!”
                
“Blast!” exclaimed Shady.  “Normally, I’d be inclined to agree with Fluttershy this time.  But it sounds as if it’s building up for another discharge.  We have no choice.  We have to get Angel to safety.”
                
Shady led the way with his torch, and the other ponies followed him into the cave.  All except Fluttershy.  Derpy had to go back and push her into the cave.
                
“Well, this seems cozy enough…” began Shady.
                
There was a roar and a blast of air, and a cloud of frost formed above the pony’s heads.
                
“Who dares disturb my privacy?!” bellowed someone from the shadows, deep in the cave.
                
The ponies froze, petrified with fear, but only for a moment.  A young dragon stepped into the light and began to laugh.
                
“Sorry, just messin’ with ya.  I couldn’t resist.  My name’s Drago.  Welcome to my home.”
            


> Chapter 8  Getting Deeper
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom



Chapter 8  Getting Deeper


 

                
“Come in, come in.  Just make sure you roll my ‘door’ back over the hole when you’re all inside.” The blue dragon beckoned for the ponies to follow him deeper into the cave.  He was bigger than any three ponies, and Shady estimated that he was a young adult, just out of his ‘teens’ (just how this translated into actual years ponies did not know and dragons wouldn’t say).  Drago went on, “The little one got a pretty bad zap, huh?  Lay her down on my dining room table.  It’s slate, the most anti-magic substance there is.  That should have her back in balance in no time.”
                
Shady gently rested Angel on the table, and she immediately perked up and began looking around.
                
“Um?  Shady?” said Fluttershy.  “Didn’t you say you couldn’t miss the dragon cave?”
                
“Well, yeah, out at my front door, back on the other side of the lake,” said Drago.  “I’ve got it totally tricked out.  It looks like a monster’s face, stalagmite fangs and everything.  Er, you came in the back door.  I haven’t done anything with it yet.  What can I tell you?  This is my first pad, it’s a work in progress.”
                
“We’re going to be out here all night, aren’t we?” asked Angel.  She began to pout.  “I’m going to miss DaringCon.  I bought a hat especially for it.”
                
“Me, too, Angel,” said Valory.  “I wish I had my pith helmet right now.”
                
“Yeah, I don’t know if I’d have let you in, if it was just you guys,” said Drago, indicating the adult ponies.  “You know – dragons and ponies, ponies and dragons, not always the best mixers.  But I don’t leave little kids out in storms.  So make yourselves at home.  I never eat my house guests, I promise.”
                
“That’s… nice,” whimpered Fluttershy.


#

                
The weather pegasi made relatively short work of the fire.  It helped that as they created little storms on the fire line the wind shifted, and drove the fire back on itself.  The fire couldn’t burn the Forest twice, and without much fuel it didn’t last long.
                
“Way to go, team!” cried Rainbow Dash, and there were high hooves all around.  “Now, Sky, tell me about what your Red team discovered.  Bet it was pretty dull, huh?”
                
“Actually, Rainbow, it was kind of exciting.”  Sky told her about how Zecora was missing, about the trashed cottage, and misidentifying Relic as the culprit.  The more Sky spoke the more agitated Rainbow became.  Seeing this, Sky kept adding more and more details.
                
“I don’t believe this!” Rainbow finally cried out.  “You guys got a crime scene, complete with clues and a witness to interview, and all I got was a can of Wham!”
                
“Sorry, Rainbow,” said Sky, with a smirk.  “I can’t help it if in addition to being smart and good looking I’m also lucky.  See you later, I’ve got to get back to the others.”
                
As Sky zoomed away, Rainbow shouted after her, “We’ll still rescue the kids first!”
                
Rainbow, Navy, and Autumn flew back to the approximate place they had left the rest of their team, and began to circle.  Soon, a tree crashed to the ground just behind them.  They flew to the sound.
                
The three pegasi had just landed next to the fallen tree when they could hear Stone Hoof shout in the distance, “Rainbow, that’s the wrong tree!”
                
An incredibly ugly two headed giant stepped into view.  It ripped one of the largest branches off the fallen tree, and began shaking it at the ponies.
                
“Stupid ponies make it rain.  Go 'zoom, zoom, zoom' all over the place!  Very annoying!  We teach ponies better manners!”


#

                
Sky was searching for a cluster of brightly glowing ovals.  Pinkie had run up a tether of balloons, and they had gathered so much static magic when they rose through the canopy that Twilight didn’t have to use a light spell.
                
Sky soon spied her target.  But something was wrong.  It was difficult to tell the scale of anything up on the canopy, but as Sky got closer she became sure that these ovals were much too large.
                
Soon she arrived, and sure enough, these were not Pinkie’s balloons.  The ovals rested in some sort of basket of woven sticks, mounted atop a huge tree.
                
A bird’s nest.  A bird’s nest the size of a house, with eggs as bigger than a pony.
                
Then the momma bird came home and discovered Sky.
                
“Rrrrrrrooooooooc!”


#

                
“Yeow!” cried Navy, just dodging the makeshift club.  He’d flown close, trying to distract the giant.  The ponies thought they could easily outmaneuver the monster, but with two heads he could see everywhere at once.  They weren’t going to fly circles around the giant’s heads.
                
“Ponies, hold still and let Sweven hit you!” demanded one head.
                
“Wait, Sweven, I forget,” said the other head.  “Tell me again, why don’t we like ponies?”
                
“Don’t be stupid, Neodd!  We hate ponies because they are annoying.”
                
“Yes, but ponies are cute.”
                
“Shut up and hit ponies, Neodd!  And ponies come back here!”
                
The rest of the Red team arrived, led by Stone Hoof.  Stone reared experimentally, and found that the highest he could kick was the giant’s knee.
                
“Why don’t you take a picture, Madam Mayor?” asked Professor Heart.  “You can put him on the front of the tourist brochure.”
                
“Shut up, Professor!”
                
“Excuse me, but we are not ‘him,’ we are ‘them,’” said Neodd.  “Very sensitive about that.”
                
“Not me,” said Sweven.  “Me happy so long as not called ‘it.’”
                
“Ok, next swing, before it recovers from the follow through, we charge,” said Rainbow.  “Navy, Autumn, take the right head, I’ll hit the left.  Buck ‘em hard between the eyes!”
                
“Wait, let me try something,” cried Infernalo.  He drew a painted stoneware water bottle from his bag and offered it to Neodd.  “I like you and I want to give you this present.  But you must promise not to share it with Sweven.”
                
“What?” exclaimed Sweven.  “But we share everything!”
                
“Neodd you must not share your gift with Sweven,” said Infernalo.  “Because I like you, but I hate him.”
                
“Stupid pony, we are exactly alike!”
                
“Yes,” said Infernalo.  “That is why I like him, but I hate you.”
                
Neodd laughed, and reached for the bottle.  “Mine!  All mine, Sweven!”
                
Sweven punched him in the nose.
                
“You are a stupid pony lover, and I will fix you, Neodd!  Then I’ll get your little pony friends!”
                
“No, because I will fix you first!”  Neodd cracked a branch over Sweven’s forehead.
                
While the giant fought with themself, the ponies slipped away.
                
“I have to show you what I found,” said Stone Hoof, leading them to a fallen tree.  “It was growing out of the side of this outcrop, and it wasn’t very healthy.  I figured Autumn would approve.”
                
Autumn frowned, but didn’t comment.
                
“Anyway, look at this.”  Where the tree’s roots had torn away from the stone was the entrance to a cave.
                
“We aren’t going to go down there, are we?” asked the Mayor, nervously.
                
“You said it, I didn’t,” said Professor Heart.
                
“Oogie, oogie, oogie!”
                
“Oh, brother, these guys again?” gripped Rainbow.  “Well, that tears it.  There’s going to be another flash, and we have to get the unicorns to safety.  Everypony, into the cave.”


#

                
Sky didn’t zoom away from the roc.  She flew away at what she felt was a reasonable speed to lose the bird.  With the long walk from Ponyville and the firefighting behind her, and a probably all-nighter ahead of her, Sky thought it made sense to pace herself.   She was quite surprised when the roc kept up with her.
                
Perhaps when a gigantic bird is chasing you it is not the best time to pace yourself.
                
Sky sped up.  She was relieved to look back and see the roc falling behind.  Her relief was short lived.  When Sky turned back to see where she was going she saw Pinkie’s balloons dead ahead.
                
“Now I find them?!  Oh, Celestia!  I’ve led the roc straight to my friends!”
                
Sky slowed down to let the roc catch up again, then began a gentle turn to the right to get the bird headed away from the other ponies. 
                
She looked back, and found that the roc wasn’t following her.  It had apparently forgotten about Sky, and had found something more interesting to investigate.  The Roc had landed in the tree above the Red team, and was examining the balloons.
                
Sky did a 180 degree turn and zoomed back to confront the roc.
                
“Hey, you!  Remember me?  Nest trespasser?  Don’t you want to chase me away?  If you don’t, aren’t you afraid I’ll come back and scare your chicks some day?  Hey, I’m talking to you!”
                
“Rrrroc?” said the roc.  Otherwise, it ignored Sky.  It seemed both confused and fascinated by the balloons.
                
“Sky, get away from there!” shouted Big Mac.
                
“Sky, come down here where we can protect you!” called Mustang. 
               
“Well, she’s dead,” said one of the Chick brothers.
                
“Yep,” agreed the other.
                
“Maybe the roc just wants to party,” suggested Pinkie.  She began to look through her saddle bag.  “I could give her more balloons if she wants them.  Oh, do you think she’ll like streamers?”
                
“Never mind the roc, you guys,” grumbled Relic.  “She’ll wander on home after she’s had a bite to eat.”
                
“That’s what we’re afraid of!” exclaimed Twilight.
                
Right on cue, the roc lost interest in the balloons and began pecking at a nearby evergreen.
                
“Rocs are vegetarians?” Twilight couldn’t believe it.
                
“Yep,” said Relic, with a nod.  “Steady diet of pine cones.  What?  Wasn’t that in any of your zoology books?”
                
“Oogie, oogie, oogie!”
                
“Oh, great, they’re gathering again.  We don’t have much time before the next strike.”  Relic looked up and called, “Hey, Sky, do you think you could lead us back to her nest?”
                
“Sure… but, do you really want to go to her nest?  She didn’t like it when I visited.”
                
“It may be our best hope,” said Relic.  “And we have to hurry.”
                
They hurried.  By the time the ponies reached the Roc’s home tree the galumpalumps had begun to call frantically to each other.  Twilight began to breath hard as the magic in the air grew.
              
“Here we go,” said Relic.  They had come to a large stone formation, and Relic began to circle it, looking for something.  “Rocs like to nest near limestone.  They need to eat it, to make their egg shells strong, I think.  And where you find limestone deposits out here you usually find… there!  Found it.”
                
Relic pointed to where the roc had pecked away a tremendous gouge in the outcrop.  Beneath the stone was a huge hollow.  The ponies could not tell how deep it was.
                
“Quickly now, Dearie, in you go,” Relic told Twilight.  “This next flash is going to be a doozy.  Sky and her friends really riled things up.”
                
Twilight climbed down into the cavern.  Big Mac and Mustang took up positions at either side of her, to protect her from anything that might be living in the hole. 
                
“I feel better already,” said Twilight.  “The air is much clearer down here.  And it goes on and on; this cavern is really big.”
                
“Ah ha!” exclaimed Mustang.  “Look.  Diamond dog tracks.  We’ve found their tunnel network.”


#

                
“You say many ponies confuse the possessive ‘your’ with the contraction of you are, ‘you’re’?”  Quiz and Silver Spoon were discussing contractions as they walked.  “Surely, that is not a common error.”
                
Silver giggled.  “You would be surprised, Quiz.”
                
“I have noticed this, while proofreading essays for Snips and Snails,” said Quiz.  “But I thought it was only them.  Well, also Scootaloo.  Occasionally, also Applebloom.  And Sweetie Belle, and Dinky…hmmm.  It does seem quite common.  You are correct, Silver Spoon.  I am surprised.”
                
Silver laughed, and Shadow and Diamond joined her.  “You might want to also cover ‘their,’ ‘there,’ and ‘they’re.’”
                
“I suppose I should have grown used to being surprised by…,” began Quiz.  She suddenly stiffened, then she stumbled and had to lean against the tunnel wall to stand.
                
“Quizzie, what is it?” cried Shadow.
                
“Another magic strike, a very powerful one,” gasped Quiz.  “It has passed, and I will be well now.  But I should not have felt it.  Not here, deep underground.”
                
“Oh, great!” exclaimed Diamond Tiara.  “Not only can’t she use any magic, but now she’s going to be falling over every five minutes!  You’re useless, Quiz-ik-al!  We should just leave you behind.”
                
“Dia!” Shadow had heard enough.  “You haven’t stopped sniping at Quizzie since you joined us.  What is with you two?”
                
“She does not like me,” said Quiz, simply.
                
“See, now that’s another thing I hate about you, Quiz-ik-al!  You’re so bland about everything.  It’s like you just don’t care about anything.”
                
“I reacted very strongly once, Diamond Tiara.  If you recall, neither of us enjoyed the outcome.”
                
“Oh, I recall, alright.  I got three weeks detention.  Three weeks!  It was just a little name calling!  That’s just a one week offense.  And a verbal apology.  But Cheerilee made me give you a written apology, and she posted it on the bulletin board!”
                
“I remember your apology, Diamond Tiara.  You spelled ‘you’re’ Y-O-U-R.”
                
“Oh, shut up, Quiz.”  Diamond pawed despondently at the tunnel floor.  “Three weeks of cleaning black boards.  And Cheerilee just happened to find a reason to leave the room at the end of every day.  And while she was deliberately not watching, your loser friends in the CMC ‘prepared’ the black boards for me!  I had to clean chalk dust out of my coat every night.  I left colored tracks all the way home.”
                
“I did not ask them to do this,” said Quiz.  “However, I confess knowing that my friends made the gesture for me is a good feeling.”
                
“The school ran out of colored chalk!”
                
“It is true that you were treated unfairly, Diamond Tiara; perhaps out of sympathy for my plight.   I do not blame you for what happened to me when I ran away.  But it is also unfair to blame me.  I assure you, it was not intentional.”
                
Diamond just snorted with disgust.
                
“Oh, look, an airshaft,” said Quiz, enthusiastic to change the subject.  “That explains why I felt the last flare.”
                
“Quizzie, stay away from that,” warned Shadow.
                
“It is safe, Shadow.  I can feel it,” said Quiz, staring up the shaft.  “The air is clear.  I believe the last flash dissipated the magic; I have a brief window of opportunity before it builds up again.”
                
“Quiz, what are you doing?” asked Silver, nervously.
                
“I am sending a message back to Ponyville.”  Quiz’s horn began to glow.  This time it wasn’t sickly green, but her normal beige aura.  “It is outside the range of the Notes spell, but if I execute several teleport object spells between the shelves and my desk….”  She trailed off as she began to concentrate on the magic. 
                
Quiz was focusing so intently on her spells that she did not notice the dead leaves drifting down the shaft.


#

                
Spike had just made his sixty-fourth attempt to send a letter to Princess Luna, and he was reaching for his broom and dust pan.  He stopped suddenly.  Unlike the previous sixty-three efforts, there was no paper ash to sweep up.
                
The letter had gone through!
                
“Yippee!” cried Spike, swinging his broom around like a dance partner.  “Now I just have to…um…now what am I supposed to do?”
                
He sat down to wait for something to happen.  Spike only then saw the tower of books stacked on Quiz’s desk.
                
He might have convinced himself that he had gone all day without noticing a stack of books twice his height.  But he could never believe that Quiz would leave for school with so many books left unshelved.  Further, if Quiz stacked books, she stacked them in descending order of size for stability (with groups of book of the same size in alphabetical order).  This was a complete jumble.  And this was definitely not Twilight’s work.   If Twilight had stacked the books they wouldn’t be on Quiz’s desk, they would be on the floor.
                
“Ah, Ha!” declared Spike.  “I’ve found a clue!”  He stared at the books.  “Er…hmm…”
                
It didn’t make any sense.  “’Kangaroo Tribes of Canterberra and the Eastern Territories’?  ‘Indigenous Mollusks of the Everfree Forest’?  ‘Diseases of the Tail and Flank’?  Huh?  Quiz, you’re killing me here!  C’mon, Girl, what are you trying to tell me?”
                
Then it clicked.  Spike began writing down the first letter of each title.  “K-I-D-N-A-P-P-E-D-B-Y-D-D…’D-D’?”  Spike reread those titles.  One was ‘Diamonds – Equestria’s Wonder Mineral’ and the other was ‘Dog Training for Dimwits.’  “Diamonds and dogs?  Oh, diamond dogs!  Great, it’s those jerks again!  Wow, that’s got to be the first time Quiz ever used an abbreviation.  The poor kid must be under a lot of pressure.”  Spike took down the rest of Quiz’s message.  “T-H-I-N-K-G-O-I-N-G-C-A-S-T-L-E…,that’s not a complete sentence!  Poor, Quiz, I bet it hurt to write that!”  Spike finished the message, then sat down to consider his next move.  He did not like the conclusion he reached.
                
“Well, at least now I know what I’m supposed to do.”


#

                
“Old Belch established this lair way back, I don’t know, back before forever I guess,” Drago explained.  He was clearly enjoying having an audience.  “A few seasons ago he finally got sick of the wet winters, packed up his hoard, and flew north to find some good sleeping weather.  That’s when Iceflame - n – Drago moved in.  Um, that’s me.  Sorry, I don’t usually speak in third person.”
                
“Well, it is a pleasure to meet you, Drago,” said Shady.  “But I have to confess, I was expecting someone a little more imposing.”
                
“You mean you were expecting someone taller?  Yeah, I haven’t spread it around that Belch isn’t here anymore.  It helps me keep my privacy.”
                
“I think you’re very imposing, Drago,” said Fluttershy.  “I can easily imagine being terrified of you.”
                
“Why, thank you, Miss,” said Drago, preening.  “I’ve been working on my fearsome skills.  I think I have the scary voice down, and I’ve got a pretty good snarl.  My roar still needs work though.”
                
“It must be terribly exciting to be a dragon, Mr. Drago,” exclaimed Valory.  “Do you know many other dragons?”
                
“Not really.  I’ve done the Dragon Migration, of course, but I don’t hang out with my own kind very often.  I’m afraid dragons around my age can be real jerks.”
              
“Do you have your own hoard, Mr. Drago?” asked Pipsqueak.
                
“Well, it’s more of a starter hoard, really.  I’ve got a sack, actually.”
                
All of the children were excited to be visiting a real dragon’s lair.  All save one.  Angel had made a complete recovery, but her spirits remained low.
                
“It isn’t fair.  We can’t leave until this dumb storm is over.  While we sit here safe and comfortable our friends are being taken deeper and deeper into the Forest.”  Angel began to weep.  “It isn’t fair.”
                
This deflated everypony’s enthusiasm.
                
“Hey, I can help with that,” said Drago.
                
“No, that won’t be necessary, really…” began Fluttershy.
                
“It would be best if the children just stayed here,” tried Shady.
                
“I don’t think we want to encourage this,” muttered Derpy.
                
Drago was already pushing aside a large rock.  Under it was a ramp leading down to a tunnel.
                
“There used to be a pony city out in the deep forest,” said Drago.  “It stayed around for a while, after the princesses abandoned their castle.  The legend is that Old Belch cut a deal with the ponies that still lived there.  For a modest annual tribute he promised never to rampage in the city.  The terms were supposedly very reasonable.  I believe it.  Belch hated rampaging.  He’d do anything to get out of it.  Anyway, this tunnel was built to let the ponies deliver the gems without having to trek through the forest.”
                
“Wow!” gasped Pip, peering into the tunnel.  “How far does this go, Mr. Drago?”
                
“All the way to the old city’s center.  Oh, and I’ve found some new side tunnels, so I think the diamond dogs have found it and are using it.”
                
Angel’s eyes went wide with excitement.  “We could use this to find our friends!”
                
Her excitement was contagious.  “We could rescue them!” cried Valory.
                
“And we could teach those mean old diamond dogs a lesson!”  Pip began to leap around, waving his stick.  “Aarh!”
                
“Let’s go!”  Dinky shined light from her horn down the tunnel.  She was pleased to see magic was working properly down in the cavern.
                
“Now, kids, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” said Shady, effecting his most reasonable tone.  “Kids?  Kids!”
                
They had already run so far down the tunnel that all the adults could see were the lights of Dinky and Angel’s horns.  Their shouts echoed through the tunnel.
                
“Ambush Raiders!  Yay!!!”


#

                
As Quiz completed her spells the aura around her horn began to take on a green halo.
                
“Time’s up, Quizzie.  Ready or not, you get away from there!” ordered Shadow.
                
“Yes, Shadow, I am ready… Ow!”  Quiz was struck between the eyes by a clot of sodden leaves.  Alarmed, Quiz leapt as far to the side as she could.
                
Far above, the pool of magic saturated water broke free and poured down the shaft.  Quiz just barely escaped the shower.
                
Water is excellent at containing magic, it holds it like a storage battery.  But Magic wants to be used, and will always try flow to anything or anyone that can use it.  While Quiz was not soaked by the falling magic water, she was still standing in the puddle it formed when it landed.
                
There was a dull flash from a small discharge.  All the rest of the magic went into Quiz.
                
“Quizzie!”


> Chapter 9  Carried Away
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom






Carried Away




                “Nnnnnnnngh!”  Quiz clenched her teeth so tightly the other ponies thought she might shatter her jaw.

                “Quizzie!” Shadow moved toward her.

                “No!”  Quiz managed to wave him back.  “Do… not… approach… me…”

                “Stay back, Shadow.  She’ll explode all over you,” sneer Diamond Tiara.  Then what she had just said registered.  She turned away and whispered, “Oh, Sweet Celestia, she’s actually going to explode.”

                “Quiz, you have to burn off the magic.”  Silver Spoon told her.  “Cast something, anything.  Quick!”

                Quiz shook her head.  “Cannot… think.  Cannot… focus… to cast…”

                “Then just blow it off all at once,” stated Shadow.  “Blast it all back down the tunnel.”

                “What?  No!” cried Diamond Tiara.  “She’ll give us all away!  The diamond dogs were bad enough when they weren’t mad about us following them.”

                “I… will… not… betray you,” gasped Quiz.  “I… will… be… fine!”

                “You will not be fine,” stated Shadow.  “Just let it go, Quizzie.  Please.”

                “Please, Quiz!”  Silver Spoon had begun to cry.  “It’s hurting you!”

                “No!  Don’t let her do it!” cried Diamond.  “Those mutts will catch us and do something terrible!”

                “We’ll cope, Quizzie,” said Shadow.  “Go ahead and let it go.”

                “You can’t hold it, Quiz,” said Silver.

                “She has to hold it!  She… oh, gosh,” Diamond began to back away from Quiz.  “She’s burning up.  I can feel the heat from here.”

                “I… can… hold… I… can… I… I… I… can…”   Then Quiz lost control.

                A beam of magic fired from Quiz’s horn.   Far away, at the first bend in the straight corridor, the magic gathered until it exploded.

                It was brighter than noon day for as far up and down the tunnel as the ponies could see.

                “Well,” said Diamond, “I think the diamond dogs noticed that.


#




                “What was that?!” exclaimed a diamond dog.  He was answered by the yammering of  his excited and frightened fellows. 

                “It is a unicorn, a very magical unicorn, made sick by the storm,” said Bowser.  “A very magical unicorn, to have so much magic to get rid of.  Now, Chief Bowser wonders, who is the most magical student in the pretty little teacher pony’s class?  Could it be the Quizzical?”

                “No!” cried Cheerilee, backing away from the chief.  “I told you, she couldn’t come on the field trip…”

                “Yes, that is what you told Chief Bowser.  It was wrong of the pretty little teacher pony to lie like that.”  Bowser gave Cheerilee his most winning grin.  Cheerilee backed further away.  “The worthless pony has been following us, no doubt hoping for an opportunity to ruin Bowser’s whole evening.  If it weren’t for the storm she would have called her little pony princess.  So much trouble, your little lie could cause Chief Bowser.  What should Chief Bowser do with the pretty little teacher pony?”

                Cheerilee back into a wall.  There was no escaping Bowser.

                Snails stepped between Bowser and Cheerilee .  Twist and Snips were soon at his side.  Other students joined them.

                “Children, no!”  Cheerilee tried to push past them, but they wouldn’t let her.

                “Oh, ho!” laughed Bowser.  “So the pretty little teacher pony’s students like her after all.  Does that mean if Chief Bowser does what he is thinking of doing to the pretty little teacher pony will he then have to do this to all the little ponies?”

                “You betcha!” declared Twist.

                “That might be fun,” said Bowser, grinning.  The students’ resolve melted, and they were backed against the wall with Cheerilee.  “But no, there is no time.  Perhaps later.  For now, the pretty little teacher pony must make her students march.  Chief Bowser will be forgiving if the little ponies set a good pace.  But if they drag their hooves Chief Bowser may find the time for a bit of fun.”

                Bowser scratched his head thoughtfully.  “But we cannot have the Quizzical following us.  If the storm clears she will call her friends and her miserable little pony princess.  Reader, go get her.”

                “What?  Me?”

                “What is the matter, Reader?  The Quizzical is just one worthless little pony, and she is sick from the storm.  Perhaps she has the two obnoxious ponies with her.  Take Scud and Corso and bring the Quizzical back to me.”

                “Yes, Chief Bowser.”

                “Then what are you all still doing here?!” roared Bowser.

                Reader and the other two dogs took off down the tunnel at a run.


#




                Sweetie Belle decided this might be a good time to try a new spell she had studied.  Her horn glowing, she faced down the tunnel.  Soft as a whisper, she sang two words.


#




                “I am sorry.  So very, very sorry,” Quiz moaned.

                “Now what?” demanded Diamond Tiara.  “She can’t even walk.”

                “Diamond Tiara is right, you will have to leave me,” whispered Quiz.

                “For a smart pony you sure say some stupid things, Quizzie.” With one wing Shadow easily flipped Quiz onto his back.  “Wow, girl you are even lighter than you look.”

                “Yeah, she’s really scrawny,” said Diamond.

              “What do we do now?” asked Silver Spoon.

                “We move out,” said Shadow.  “The first rule of hide and seek is never stay the last place they saw you.  There’s a cross tunnel a few furlongs back, we take that, and a few more turns, and we lose ‘em.”

                “Won’t we lose our friends, too?” asked Silver.  “That’s why we were following them.”

                “We know where they are going,” muttered Quiz. 

                “That’s right, I think,” said Shadow.  “Do either of you think they aren’t headed for the old Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters?”

                The girls looked at each other then shook their heads.

                Sweetie Belle’s voice rang out from the walls, singing at deafening volume, “Quiz, run!”
        
“You heard her, guys, we run,” said Shadow.  He spread his wings and the girls took hold of one wing while he used the other to brush the wall to keep track of their position.  The little party headed down the dark corridor at a gallop.


#


        Spike was in the rocky barrens outside Ponyville, looking at the hatch he’d found under a bush.  He marveled at how well concealed it was.  Spike was sure he could have spent a lifetime searching without coming close to finding it.

        Of course, with a copy Quiz’s painfully detained directions, Spike walked right to it.

        The location of the secret entrance to the warrens of the diamond dogs was known only to the Princesses of Equestria and Quizzical Greystone.  It had been built in case the Princesses ever needed to contact the diamond dogs in an emergency, or in case Quiz ever felt like visiting.

        Spike used the key he’d taken from Quiz’s desk and opened the hatch.  This revealed a ramp spiraling gently into the ground.  Spike stepped down onto it.

        Spike stepped back.

        Spike took a deep breath and stepped onto the ramp again.

        He stepped back.

        Since Princess Luna had forced a treaty on them, the diamond dogs had mostly behaved themselves.  Many ponies had come to believe that the dogs weren’t all bad, once you got to know them.  Some, like Quiz, even had some friends among the diamond dogs.

        Spike didn’t.  He did not like the diamond dogs at all.

        “Come on, Spike!” he told himself.  “You have to do this.  These mutts aren’t so tough!  You and Rarity almost took a bunch of them all by yourselves.”

        Spike stepped onto the ramp.

        He stepped back.

        “Do it for the kids, Spike!  Or start rehearsing your speech to Twilight.  You either do this, or you look her in the eyes and explain why you left Quiz and the other kids down there in a dark, smelly tunnel when you could have helped.”

        Spike made what he thought was a fierce face.  He even snarled a bit.

        Then he stepped onto the ramp and followed it down into the warrens of the diamond dogs.


#




        “Can we please stop.”  Diamond Tiara was out of breath, and what was meant to be a whine came out as more of a wheeze.

        “We  can… rest a bit…. ”  Shadow was in the most physically fit of the four of them, by far.  He realized that if he was breathing hard then the two spoiled fillies had to be completely exhausted.  They stopped running.
        
Diamond and Silver unceremoniously collapsed to the tunnel floor.

        Shadow looked over his shoulder, even though he couldn’t see anything in the dark.  “How ya doin’, Quizzie?”

        “I will be fine,” moaned Quiz.

        “Feeling that bad, huh?  Hey, what’s this in your mane?”

        Something behind Quiz’s right ear feebly glowed green.

        “It’s her hairbow,” said Silver.  “It must have been splashed by some of that magic water.”

        “Eww, get it off of her!” gasped Diamond.  “It’ll turn her whole head to mush, then what will we do with her?”

        “No,” Quiz weakly protested.  “I cannot lose it.”

        “If it’s that important to you Quizzie then I’ll hold it for you.”  Shadow removed the little bow with his teeth, and dropped it in his saddlebag.  “I’m not magic, so it won’t hurt me.”

        “Fine, save the tacky thing, magic slime and all!  It’s not as if we have anything more important to worry about!”  Diamond had already recovered enough to go into full whine mode.  “I’m exhausted, my feet hurt, I haven’t eaten since forever, it’s cold, it’s dark, the diamond dogs are going to catch us and eat us, and you’ve turned us around so many times I’m dizzy!”

        “Well, at least that last part is a good sign, Di.”  Shadow was lucky she couldn’t see his grin in the dark.  “If you’re dizzy then we probably lost the diamond dogs.  Now, me, I’ve got a better than average sense of direction, and I counted every turn.  Once more to the left and we’re back on course.”

        “I’m so confused,” complained Silver.  “I can’t believe you know where we are.”

        “Well, I do!” declared Shadow.  “For the most part.”

        “And what is that sound?” asked Silver.  “It’s like ponies walking back and forth all around us.  It’s, like, totally disorienting.”

        “It is Sweetie Belle,” mumbled Quiz.  “She is projecting the sound of hoofbeats to mask the sound of our escape.  But she does not know the layout of the tunnels, and half the sounds seem to be ponies emerging from or entering solid walls.”

        “Well, that still works,” said Shadow.  “I bet it confuses the diamond dogs even more than it confuses us.”

        “Sweetie Belle risks Chief Bowser seeing her horn glow.”  Quiz began to sob.  “She will give herself away trying to help…”

        “Now, don’t get all teary eyed, Quizzie.  We are, eventually, going to rescue your friends.  It’ll just take a little time and luck.  My only worry is that we may be heading for a choke point.  We’re close to the edge of the gorge, and there can’t be too many crossing points.  But we’re pretty deep, and this tunnel slopes downward.  I feel lucky.  We should be able to go under instead of across the canyon.”


#




        “Stop!  STOP!!!” Reader yelled at his companions.  “Why are we running?”

        The two hulking diamond dogs stumbled to a halt.  They stared at Reader and scratched their heads.  They stared at each other and scratched their heads.  Finally, Scud tried to answer for them.

        “Um… we are running because Chief Bowser told us to?”

        “Even Bowser has a destination in mind when he orders a dog to run,” said Reader.  “So, where are we running?”

        This was the most complicated question either Scud or Corso could remember being asked.  After more staring and head scratching Corso attempted an answer.  “We are running to catch the little ponies?”

        “What, you mean the little ponies we can hear all around us?”  The sound of phantom ponies, apparently walking over the three diamond dog’s heads, made Reader’s point for him.  “The clever ponies are using magic to confuse us.  That seems kind of pointless in the case of you two.  But it is good that the ponies are clever.  We can use their cleverness in ways Bowser does not have the ambition to… um… use.”

        “Ambition?”  Scud was reasonably sure he had heard of this.  “I don’t think we have any of that.”

        Reader laughed.  “Don’t worry.  I have enough for all three of us.  Now, these poor ponies have been too clever for their own good.  They do not know that all the tunnels on this level converge at one of the two crossings.  Bowser will cross the gorge at one point, we will hurry to cut the ponies off at the other.”

        “Oh,” said Corso.  “So… then… that is where we are running?”

        “Yes!”


#




        “Hello?” called Spike.  “Anybody home?”

        He had come to the bottom of the ramp and was in what appeared to be a straight corridor.  His little torch did not cast light far enough for him to tell for sure.  Spike had been expecting to run into some guards before this, but the warrens seemed abandoned.

        “Seriously, is there anybody home?  Where are you guys?”

        “Why, we are right here, little trespasser,” answered a gravelly voice.  Torches just outside the range of Spike’s were lit.  Spike was surrounded.

        “Um… hi?”  Spike gave a little wave.

        “It is bold of you to trespass here, little dragon.”

        “Dragons are bitter and tough and bad to eat.  But perhaps baby dragons are tender and sweet.”

        “Is that true, little dragon?  Are you tender and sweet?”

        “Oh, I don’t know if I’d say that.  I like to think I’m a pretty good guy… Oh, wait, that’s not what you meant!”

        “The dragon thinks he is good?” asked one dog, rubbing his tummy.  “A good meal would be nice!”

        “I think a change of subject would be nice,” said Spike.  “Look, this is important, I need to see your Ambassador to Equestria…”

        “Who?”

        “Give me a second…”  Spike’s eyes rolled  back as he tried to concentrate.  “What did Quiz say you called him?  Oh, right, got it.   I want to talk to Speaker to Ponies.”

        “Oh, Little Dragon wants to talk to Speaker to Ponies!”

        “Speaker to Ponies is a very important dog.  Very, very busy.”

        “Does Little Dragon have an appointment?”

        All the diamond dogs laughed, save one.  “Wait.  Who did Little Dragon say told him of Speaker to Ponies?  Quiz?  As in the Quizzical?”

        “Sure,” answered Spike.  “Quiz Greystone.  That’s what I need to…”

        “Little Dragon knows the Quizzical!”

        “He knows the Clever Pony!  He knows the Gem Finder!”

        “Well, yeah, Quiz and me, we’re real tight,” said Spike.  “Best buds forever, that’s us.”

        “That is a very bold claim, Little Dragon.”  A huge diamond dog stepped forward, and stood towering over Spike.  “Something dangerous to lie about.  Very dangerous.”

        Spike planted his feet, drove his fists into his hips, and glared straight up at the diamond dog.  “Who are you calling a liar, Kibble Breath?  I’ve made the kid breakfast and seen her off to school almost everyday since she came to Ponyville!”

        “Then Little Dragon will not mind answering a few questions.”

        Spike grinned.  “Try me!”

        “What... is the Quizzical’s favorite color?!”

        Spike rolled his eyes.  “Gray.  What, you thought I was going to say ‘beige’?  C’mon, I thought these were going to be tough questions.”

        This inspired a round of excited chatter from the diamond dogs.  “It is true!  Little Dragon does know the Gem FInder!”

        The hulking dog interrogating Spike showed no sign of being convinced.  “What is the Quizzical’s favorite condiment?”

        Spike gave an exaggerated sigh.  “You think you can fool me with a trick question?  Quiz doesn’t use condiments.  How anypony can eat hay fries without ketchup is beyond me…”

        The excited chatter increased.  “He really is the Finder’s friend!”

        The big diamond dog pretended to be unimpressed, but it was obvious his resolve was fading.  “You still have one more question, Little Dragon.  What is the Quizzical’s favorite mineral?”

        “Favorite?  You mean as in, picking just one?”  Spike suddenly lost most of his bravado.  “But Quiz never found a rock she didn’t like!”

        The big diamond dog sneered.  “There is one, just one, that the Quizzical would call her favorite.  Name it.  Name it now, Little Dragon!”

        Spike scratched his head as he puzzled over this.  Quiz didn’t have a lot of room at the Golden Oaks Library, so she left her rock collection at home in Canterlot.  But if she did indeed have a favorite Spike thought Quiz would have a sample of it on her desk, and use it every day as a paperweight.

        Quiz had two paperweights.


#




        “Shadow?” asked Quiz asked, softly.  “I am feeling well enough to walk on my own.”

        “That’s good to hear, Quizzie,” answered Shadow.  He continued walking down the dark tunnel.

        “Shadow, I am ready for you to set me down.”

        “And that’s good news, Quizzie.  That means you’ll be feeling even better when I’m ready to set you down.”

        “I no longer need to be carried, Shadow.”

        “That’s nice, Quizzie.”  Shadow continued walking.  “Now just be still, and rest, and ride along.”

        “Shadow, being carried is not dignified.”

        “You’ll get over it, Quizzie.”

        “Bother.”

        Silver Spoon failed to suppress a laugh, and Diamond Tiara didn’t even try.

        “If Quiz-ik-al doesn’t want to ride, you can carry me, Shadow,” said Diamond.

        “Maybe later, Di.”  Despite the dark, but from his tone they could tell that Shadow was smiling.

        With a roar a huge diamond dog smashed into Shadow.  Shadow was slammed against a wall, and Quiz went tumbling across the floor.

“Oww!  My wing!”

“Hello, little ponies,” said another diamond dog.  “My name is Reader, and I’ll be your captor this evening.  Surrender now, and no more rough handling will be necessary.  If you come quietly, my companions will be only slightly more brutal than necessary.”

Next to her, Quiz could sense Shadow struggling to get to his feet.  “Girls, run, I’ll hold them off... oh, wow, that smarts….”

“Please, if you all will just cooperate I can offer you a much better deal than simply to return you to Chief Bowser.  I am a dog of great ambition, and I have great plans that might just include you clever little ponies…”

As Reader pontificated about his ambitious plans, Quiz took advantage of the moment and whispered, “Shadow, it is your wing that is hurt?  Can you still run?”

“Yeah, sure.  Why?”

Quiz’s horn began to glow, she raised her voice, “Everypony, close your eyes as tightly as you can!”

“I’m not closing my eyes just because you say…Oww!!!”  Diamond Tiara was interrupted by Quiz casting the brightest light spell of her life.

The flash was not aimed at her, and pony eyes are not as sensitive as diamond dogs’, and Silver Spoon had the sense to put a leg in front of her friend’s eyes.  Diamond did not fall to the floor writhing in agony as the diamond dogs did.  But it did hurt a lot.

The ponies ran, with Silver guiding Diamond Tiara.

“She might have warned me!” whimpered Diamond.  Silver did not have the heart to point out that Quiz had.


#




“We wait for an answer, Little Dragon.”

“Give me a minute, give me a minute!”  Spike considered the two rocks on Quiz’s desk.  One was fine, polished Canterlot marble.  It had come from the quarries of Quiz’s home, and it was a gift from her family.  The other was a sort of brown rock.

Spike suddenly knew which answer the diamond dogs expected.  The brown thing was a gift from Speaker to Ponies.

“Ponyvillite,” declared Spike.  “Quiz says its metamorphic, and it’s got magnesium and iron and stuff in it…”

“It’s true!  He is a friend of the Quizzical!”  The diamond dogs cheered.

“Yes, he is Quizzical’s friend,” came a voice from behind all the dogs.  They all fell silent, and parted to let the new arrival through.  “His name is Spike, and Quizzical speaks well and often of him.  Also, you should all be ashamed of yourselves for teasing the little dragon.  We all know you would not eat a pony friend.  It upsets the ponies.”

Spike stared at this new diamond dog.  He was a little shorter, and much slimmer than the average dog.  He was certainly a better speaker.  “Are you the Ambassador?”

The dog nodded.  “Welcome to our warrens, Spike.  A friend of Quizzical’s is a friend of mine.  Now, please tell Indy what has happened to Quizzical.  Indy knows something is wrong, or you would not be here.  You would think Quizzical would know that she does not have to get into trouble just to visit her old friend Indy.”


#




“Let’s stop.  I want to check your wing, Shadow,” said Silver Spoon.

It seemed as if several minutes had passed since they could last hear the echoes of the diamond dogs anguished cries, so stopping was probably safe, if only briefly.  They got a torch lit, and Diamond held it while Silver probed Shadow’s injury.

“This is so annoying,” grumbled Shadow.  He grit his teeth as Silver poked a sensitive spot.  “I always hated it when Daring Do hurts a wing and can’t fly.  Yearlings’ done it in 5 books so far, and it always seems like cheating, you know?  She should write stories where being able to fly doesn’t ruin the plot.  Now it’s happened to me!”

“I don’t think it’s broken,”said Silver.  “But you’ve hurt the last joint, and I don’t think you can fully spread that wing.”

“Darn, that’s half my lift.  I’m almost grounded.  Hey, Quizzie, when did you learn that trick?  That was pretty cool!”

“The light spell?  I have always been reasonably good with those,” said Quiz.  “But I never thought to use it as a weapon.  Miss Twilight and Princess Luna suggested I practice this, after I was abducted the first time.  For some reason they suspected this might happen to me again.”

“Quiz, are you having trouble breathing?” asked Silver.

“See, I said you weren’t recovered enough to go running around yet,” insisted Shadow.

“No, that is not it.  But the air is growing thick with magic again.  We must be near an opening.”

Silver walked down the tunnel away from the torchlight, and peered into the darkness.  “I think it looks lighter up ahead.  Like the whole passage opens up.”

“Let’s go see,” said Shadow.

The end of the tunnel was not far away, and the little troop found themselves on a ledge jutting out of a cliff face.  

“Well, I was wrong about being deep enough to go under the gorge,” said Shadow.  “We have to cross here.”

“How?!” Diamond Tiara pointed to a rope and plank bridge that dangled from a ledge on the opposite side.  All that remained on their side were two posts with the frayed ends of ropes tied to them.  “The bridge is out, and you can’t fly.   What do you want to do, jump in the water and try to swim across?”

Below them they could just make out a small river at the base of the gorge.  Their torchlight made the eyes of several creatures cruising just at the surface glow.

“We can’t go back,” said Silver.  “The diamond dogs are blocking that way.”

“And, boy, has Quiz-ik-al made them mad!” exclaimed Diamond.

“Relax, girls, I got this.”  Shadow went to a tree that was growing out over the edge, and tore loose the end of vine growing from it.  He began testing the weight it could hold, pulling himself up and swinging from it.  He seemed satisfied with the results.  “There’s more than one way to fly.”

Quiz stared at him.  She looked at the ledge, and the gap to the other side, and looked long and hard at the vine Shadow was holding.

“Really?” she finally said.  “Could we not find a less exciting way to cross?”

> Chapter 10 "Excitement?"  Sigh.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter 10



“Excitement?”  Sigh.



“Girls, trust me, this is a lot easier than it looks,” said Shadow.  “I do this sort of thing all the time.  It’s a good, strong vine and more than long enough to reach the other side.  So cheer up.  Especially you, Quizzie.  This will…”

        Quiz held a hoof in front of Shadow’s mouth to silence him.  “I see the need, I see that this is inevitable.  I will do this, Shadow.  I only ask one favor.  Please do not tell me that this will be fun.”

        “I… but it… you will… um….”  Shadow gave up.  “Okay, Quizzie.”

        “I know the temptation to say it is is strong, but I ask that you please resist,”  said Quiz.  “I do not want to hear it.”

        “Um… right.  Anyway, the vine is strong enough for two of us, so I can guide you all through it.  I’ll swing across with one of you, then swing back and get the next one, then do it again for the last.  Quizzie, do you want to get it out of the way and go first?”

        “No.”

        “Um… okay, but waiting and anticipating isn’t going to make you feel better.”

        “I know, Shadow,” said Quiz.  “Nothing is going to make me feel better.”

        Diamond Tiara stepped forward.  “Can I go first, Shadow?  I think this looks like fun!”

        Quiz did not seem to react, though there was a soft sound that might have been her grinding her teeth.

        “Okay, Di, come here and get a hold,” said Shadow, offering Diamond the vine.  She wrapped both forelegs around it, and Shadow took the vine with one leg and held Diamond with one leg and his good wing.  “On three kickoff hard and lean towards the other side.  Just like a swing on a playground.”

        “Wait,” said Diamond.  She turned her head and kissed Shadow.  “For luck.”

        “Well,” muttered Silver Spoon.

        “Oh, okay,” said Shadow, grinning.  “I like your enthusiasm.  Now, one… two… three!”

        Diamond shrieked “Weeeee!” all the way across, which made Silver Spoon jump up and down and clap her hooves.  Quiz covered her ears.

        The landing on the far side was smoothly anti-climactic, and Diamond actually pouted that it was over.

        “Wow!  Like, that really does look like fun!” exclaimed Silver Spoon.  One look at Quiz made her wish she could take it back.  “Oh, gee, I’m sorry, Quiz, I didn’t mean… I mean, yeah, I did… but I didn’t really mean…”

        “Never mind, Silver.  I will be fine.”

        “Quizzical Grey-stone!”  A taunting, singsong voice called from the tunnel behind them.  “Oh, Quizzical Grey-stone!”

        “Oh, darn,”  said Quiz.  “The rather unpleasant Mr. Reader has caught up with us.  I was hoping to have more time.”

Quiz and Silver Spoon looked back up the tunnel.

“I can see their torch light,” gasped Silver Spoon.  “They’re almost right on top of us!   What are we going to do, Quiz?”

“That was a very mean trick you pulled on us, Quizzical,” called Reader.  “My associates would like to have a word with you about that.”

Quiz sighed so hard her whole body shook.  She turned and called across the gorge.  “Shadow, there is not enough time for you to come back for us.  Throw us the vine, please.  Silver Spoon and I will have to swing across together.”


	#


“Indy is not looking forward to his next meeting with Princess Luna.  Indy has some ‘splain’ to do.”

“You could practice by explaining it to me,” said Spike.  Indy was not tall, as diamond dogs went, but he towered over Spike, and he set a good pace as he hurried down the tunnel at a fast walk.  Spike had to run to keep up.  Luckily, Spike was used to this, as he’d had many conversations with Twilight Sparkle when she was at full gallop.  “What the Hay is going on?!”

“That is a very good question,” said Indy.  He displayed his empty hands, as if to show that ‘he had nothing.’  “Chief Bowser does not give Indy regular progress reports on the secret plans he conducts behind Indy’s back.  Indy knew Bowser was up to something, but Indy never dreamed that Bowser was stupid enough to involve ponies again.  Indy should have learned not to underestimate Chief Bowser’s stupidity.”

“Yeah, that was pretty silly of you,” agreed Spike.  “But why is Bowser even still around, anyway?”

“Because Princess Luna allowed it,” said Indy.  “When Quizzical was freed from our warrens the Princess had Bowser right where she wanted him.  She wanted a treaty and a trade agreement with the diamond dogs, and Bowser was in no position to say no to her about anything.  And, when beginning diplomatic relations with a people the first step should not be to disintegrate their leader.”

“Okay, I get that, I guess,” said Spike.

“So, Princess Luna did not turn Bowser into a smoking crater and a bit of light, fluffy ash, as she no doubt wanted.  Instead, Princess Luna did the cruelest thing she could possibly do to Bowser.  She gave the diamond dogs a fair deal that made everyone happy!”

“Huh?” said Spike.  He scratched his head.  “I take back what I said about getting it.”

“It is politics.  Indy apologizes if Spike gets a headache,” said Indy.  “Trade with ponies got us goods and services and many things that made diamond dogs very happy.  All but Bowser.  The better things got the worse he looked for insisting on hating ponies.  Status is everything to a diamond dog, especially the Chief.  And, as Speaker to Ponies, and the source of these good things, Indy’s status rose as Bowser’s fell.  That was Indy’s favorite part!”

“Then why not get rid of Bowser?”

Indy shrugged.  “Bowser is still the Chief.  He has lost status, but he is still too popular to just remove.  Sadly, Bowser is not actually much worse than any other chief diamond dogs can remember.  Committing acts of war against Equestria might have changed that a bit, but that is now, this was then.  Indy could have challenged Bowser to mortal combat for the chiefdom, but…” Indy waved a paw in front of his slim frame.  “Indy did not like his chances.”

“Yeah, about that,” said Spike, looking over his shoulder at the troop of dogs following them.  “Can your gang here take Bowser’s gang?”

“Oh, sure,” said Indy.  “Bowser’s pack follows him because he bullies them, and because they are stupid.  If there is a fight most of them will run away.  But Indy has chosen his best friends.  Laddy, and Rinty, and Turner, and Asta, and the rest, all good dogs, loyal and true.”

Hearing this, the other diamond dogs sang out on cue, “Here come the dogs!  Strong and brave, Woof!!!”

  Indy smile with satisfaction.  Then his expression turned grim.  “We will rescue the little ponies.  If we are in time.  Indy is heartened that Quizzical got a message to Spike.  That means she must be free.  She is very clever, and should remain safe and free, so long as she does not do anything stupid.”

Spike made a face.  “”Stupid’ as in, oh, I don’t know, maybe following them, trying to help her friends, or wrecking Bowser’s plans?  You know, just the sort of thing Quiz would do?”

Both Spike and Indy heaved a heavy sigh.

“What will Bowser do to her, if he catches Quiz?” asked Spike.

“Spike should not ask questions that he will not like hearing answered.”


	#


The two fillies stood together, clinging to the vine.  The very tips of their rear hooves were just over the edge of the cliff.

“Are you sure you’re ready, Quiz?” asked Silver Spoon.

“Absolutely not,” said Quiz.  “But my being ready does not seem to matter at all.”

“Sorry, it was a stupid question.”

“Quizzical?  Don’t be afraid, we just want to talk to you,” called Reader.  The diamond dogs were close enough that there torches now lit the tunnel mouth.  Reader’s taunting had grown increasingly sarcastic as they had come nearer.  “Just wait right there for us, Quizzical.  Don’t go anywhere!”

“I think the diamond dogs know the bridge is out,” said Silver.  “They think they have us trapped.  At least we get to disappoint them.”

“That is a small comfort, yes,” agreed Quiz.  “Very small.”

“Do you want to shake hooves for luck?”

“It cannot hurt.”  Quiz offered Silver her hoof.  They shook.  “We should count together to three, then kick off as hard as we can.  One.  Two.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Quizzical,” called Reader as he emerged from the tunnel.  “Not unless you can fly….  Hey!  Don’t!  Stop that!”

“Three.”  The fillies flew across the gorge.

As they flew the vine twisted, and they reached the other side with Silver Spoon leading and Quiz trailing.  Their friends reached out to help them land.  Shadow caught Silver because she was first.  Diamond Tiara caught Silver because she was her best friend, and Quiz most definitely wasn’t.

As soon as she  felt her friends holding her and she could feel ground beneath her hooves, Silver Spoon let out a cheer.  “We did it!  We did it, Quiz!”  She let go of the vine.

Silver only then realized that none of them were holding Quiz.  She shrieked and lunged for the vine.  She grabbed nothing but air, and Shadow had to grab her or Silver would have fallen over the edge.

The vine swung back across the gorge with Quiz still clinging to it.

At the other side Reader made a mad swipe at Quiz, but she did not come within reach.  Reader almost fell, and Corso and Scud had to catch him.

The vine soon lost momentum and came to rest.  This left Quiz dangling over the middle of the gorge.

Excited splashing and snapping sounds rose from the river below.

“Oh, Quiz, I’m so sorry,” wailed Silver.

“Quizzie, hang on!”  called Shadow.  “We’ll… think of something…”

“Well, this is quite awkward,” Quiz called back.  “I am very embarrassed.”

The laughter of the diamond dogs rang out across the gorge.


	#


“What’s Bowser’s problem with Quiz, anyway?” asked Spike.  “She never did anything to him.”

“No, Bowser’s problems are with Princess Luna, that is true,” said Indy.  “But Bowser can hardly do anything to punish the all-powerful Princess of the Night.  The little filly who the Princess came to rescue is another matter.  Bowser is free to vent his anger upon her, if he can just get his paws on Quizzical.”

Spike huffed angrily, and blew two little curls of smoke out of his nose.  “That is so unfair!  It’s not as if it was Quiz’s idea to be kidnapped.”

Indy nodded.  “It is true that Quizzical did not volunteer to be enslaved by Bowser.  But when Bowser formed his clever plan to abduct a pony it did not occur to him that he might kidnap the Princesses' student.  Perhaps Quizzical should have warned him about that.”

“That wouldn’t happen.  Quiz was more surprised than Bowser that Luna went overboard to rescue her.  The kid just doesn’t understand how much anypony cares about her.” Spike stumbled on a loose stone, but caught himself and kept up with Indy.  “So, you never did tell me what Bowser will do to Quiz.”

“That is correct, Indy didn’t.  Indy would like to keep it that way.”  He began rubbing the back of his neck.  “Doesn’t looking up at Indy bother Spike?  It is not a comfortable posture.”

“Nah, I’m used to it,” said Spike.  “You may have noticed I’m a little shorter than most everyone else.”

“Well, it is uncomfortable for Indy.”  He popped his neck with a loud crack.  Indy turned and called to the diamond dogs following them.  “‘Toven!  Come here.”

“Yes, Indy.”  A huge, white and brown dog ambled forward.

“‘Toven, would you please carry Spike on your shoulder?” asked Indy.

“Sure, Indy.”  The big diamond dog lifted Spike into place with no effort.

“Hey, what are you doing….”  Spike began to protest, but immediately stopped.  “Hmm.  So, this is what it’s like to be tall.  Nice view.  I could get  to like this.”

“Good,” said Indy.  He resumed his quick march down the tunnel.   “Now we must hurry, we have very far to go…”

“You are changing the subject, and you haven’t answered my question yet,” said Spike.  “What will Bowser do if he catches Quiz?”

“Indy does not want to talk about it.”

“Oh, come on!  You can’t just say that and leave me hanging,” said Spike.  “Now you gotta tell me!”

Indy sighed.  “Very well.  Indy suspects Bowser would have his pack play ‘Make A Wish’ with Quizzical.”

“‘Make A Wish’?  What’s that?” asked Spike.

“It is a game diamond dogs play.  It combines tug-of-war with the breaking of a wishbone after a feast.  It is played with four teams, at a four-way tunnel intersection.  A strong rope is tied to each of the victim’s limbs, then the teams…”

“Stop!” cried Spike.  “Okay, I get the picture.  Please don’t say any more!”

“Indy did warn Spike that he didn’t want an answer.”


	#


“We are very sorry, Quizzical,” called Reader.  “But the branch your vine hangs from looks much too weak for us to climb out and rescue you.  However, if you could just climb up your vine, then down the tree, we would be happy to have you join us!”

“I think I would prefer not to do that,” Quiz called back.

Reader laughed.  “You would rather stay where you are?”

“For the moment, yes.”

The other little ponies watched from the other side of the gorge.  “What are those other mutts doing?” asked Diamond Tiara.

“I think they’re gathering rocks,” said Silver Spoon.  Then her eyes went wide with horror.  “Oh my Gosh!  They’re going to throw rocks at Quiz until they knock her off!”

“I’ll fly out and get her,” said Shadow.  “It’s just a quick hop out…”

“You can’t!” cried Diamond.  “Not with your hurt wing!”

“You’ll make it out to her,” said Silver.  “But if you try to fly back with Quiz you’ll both end up in the river!”

“You don’t have to be afraid of us,” called Reader.  “We aren’t necessarily going to turn you over to Chief Bowser, Quizzical.  We have another option.  You might find it interesting.”

“No doubt you will tell me all about that,” Quiz replied.

“Of course!”  Reader laughed again.  He had a very obnoxious laugh.  “Don’t you want to hear my proposal, Quizzical?”

“I am your captive audience, Mr. Reader.”

“The diamond dogs have found things in the tunnels beneath the Everfree Forest,” said Reader.  “Writings, inscriptions, things we do not understand.  A clever pony such as yourself might interpret them for us.  If you come with us, perhaps we find find… interesting things.  Things we need not share with Chief Bowser.”

Quiz considered this silently.  Finally, she asked, “If I surrender to you, will you let my friends go free?”

“Oh, yes,” said Reader.  “They have reached the far cliff, and they are more trouble than they are worth.  We only need you, Quizzical.”

“No!” cried Silver Spoon.  “Quiz, don’t listen to him, you can’t trust him!”

“We stick together, Quizzie!” shouted Shadow.  “We don’t split up.  You just hang on and we’ll think of something.”

“What if I refuse your offer, Mr. Reader?” asked Quiz.

“Then we will throw rocks at you until we knock you off.”

“What?!” shrieked Diamond Tiara.  “Don’t you dare!  You leave her alone!  If anypony’s going to knock Quiz into the river it’s going to be me!  So, you back off!”

Diamond began hysterically chucking stones at the diamond dogs.  Unfortunately, her throws were weak, and her aim left much to be desired.  Few of her shots made it more than halfway across the gorge.  She came much closer to hitting Quiz than the diamond dogs.

The diamond dogs thought this was hilarious.  They were soon helpless with laughter.  Reader managed to stop long enough to shout a question.  “Does the little pink one own you, Quizzical?”

“It often seems that way,” said Quiz.

“That’s right, she’s my chew toy, and I don’t share!” screamed Diamond.  “So you mongrels better just leave her alone!”

“Yipe!  Diamond, please be more careful with your aim,” said Quiz.

Reader fell to the ground laughing again.

“Well, as long Di’s carrying on the dogs will keep watching the show instead of hurting Quiz,” said Shadow.  “We need to find a vine we can use to reel Quiz in.”

“We don’t have much time,” said Silver.  “Quiz is starting to glow.  The magic in the air is going to make her sick again!  And how do we keep the diamond dogs from stopping us once they see we’re trying something?”

“Di’s got the right idea,” said Shadow.  “But we need better ammunition.”

Quicker than the eye could follow, Shadow scooped something off a branch and threw it.  Unlike Diamond Tiara, Shadow’s throw was strong, and his aim was perfect.

“A frog?” declared Reader.  “You threw a frog at me?  Who does that… oww!  It’s on my throat!  Get it off me!  Get it off me!!!”

Shadow went into lecture mode.  “Girls, there’s another difference between giant flying tree toads and giant flying vampire frogs that my father didn’t mention this afternoon.  Giant tree toads are solitary.  Vampire frogs gather in large flocks.”

At that, a cloud of flapping frogs rose from the tree.  Responding to their friend’s feeding calls, the flock crossed the gorge and descended upon the diamond dogs.  The dogs disappeared behind a screen of glistening, rubbery wings.  The laughter turned to screams.

“We have to work fast,” said Shadow.  “They should be able to fight the frogs off with their torches.  Vampire frogs are wimps at heart.”

He looked across the gorge.  The frog’s wings seemed to sparkle in the torchlight.

“I think this vine will work,” said Silver.  The three ponies tore the vine loose from the tree it clung to, and Shadow tied a loop at one end.

“Quizzie, I’m going to throw you a line,” Shadow called.  “You have to catch it.”

Shadow threw Quiz the vine.  Instead of releasing the death grip she had on her vine, Quiz used her magic to catch the loop.  There was a bright green flash the second she cast the spell.

“Aieee!”  Quiz slipped to the very tip of the vine before she got a grip again.  She hung from her front hooves, with the loop over one rear hoof.  Quiz carefully worked the loop up over her haunches.

Below her, the crocodiles began to groan with excitement.

“We have to hurry!” cried Silver.  “Quiz is, like, super stoic.  If she’s crying out then she must be really hurting!”

“Okay, Girls, reel her in,” said Shadow.  “Easy.  Don’t jerk her or she’ll slip.”

They worked steadily, and quickly.  Hauling Quiz in required almost no effort.  She was almost to the edge when Quiz went limp and fell.

The groaning of the crocodiles went up in volume.

The loop caught Quiz under her shoulders, and the ponies soon pulled her the rest of the way up the cliff.

One of the crocodiles roared in protest.

Quiz lay still.  Shadow shouted at her, “Quizzie!  Can you hear me?”

Quiz did not open her eyes.  She managed to moan, “I do not feel so good.”

“Aww, does that pretty brain of your’s hurt?” soothed Shadow.  Despite his big grin, Shadow’s relief at hearing her speak was evident.

“Yes, very much so.”

Shadow scooped Quiz up with his good wing, and gently settled her onto his back.  “We’ll get you back underground now.  You should  be feeling better in no time.”

“Thank you, Shadow,” Quiz mumbled.  “Um… could we please just walk the rest of the way?”


#


“Shoo!  Get away, you pest!”  Reader swung his torch wildly at the last frog to retreat.  Then he yelled across the gorge, “That is twice you escaped me, Quizzical Greystone!  You will not get away with it again!”

The ponies had long since disappeared back into the tunnels, and Reader was shouting at nothing.

“What do we do now, Reader?” asked Scud.  

Reader looked at his companions.  They were mostly unharmed, but from all the bites they looked like the victims of a mauling.  Reader did not want to think about how he must look himself.  It was humiliating.

“We go to another crossing,” said Reader.  “We will lose time, but it does not matter.  The little ponies will soon come to the black canyon.  We will trap them there!”

> Chapter 11  Basements
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Quizzical Greystone and the Basements of Doom



Chapter 11 - Basements





        “Shadow?”

        “I’m not putting you down, Quizzie.”

        “Yes, I do get that,” said Quiz, perhaps a bit sharply.  “You have made your stubbornness on this issue quite clear.  No, I wished to ask if you have noticed how the tunnels have changed since we crossed the gorge.”

        “Well, yeah,” said Shadow.  “But I wasn’t really paying attention.  I was thinking more about how we’ve been going uphill.  I was worried that we might be getting too close to the surface for you.  But you’re right, the tunnels are getting straighter, aren’t they?”

        “Exactly.  We have left the diamond dogs’ normally chaotic, haphazard excavations behind, and entered an area of straight lines and right angles.”

        “Oh, great!” spat Diamond Tiara.  “Now she’s sightseeing!  Well, I hope you are enjoying all the rocks all around you, Quiz-ik-al!”

        “Diamond wait,” said Silver Spoon.  “She notices things.  Quiz, what is it?”

        “It seems we are in a series of stonework rectangles.  They do not appear to be the work of diamond dogs.  The dogs have merely built tunnels connecting them.  It all seems to follow a very organized grid pattern.”

        “Terrific!” sneered Diamond.  “Everything’s all neat and orderly.  Between that and all the rocks you must be having a wonderful time, Quiz!  I bet you want to get out your protractor to make sure all the side tunnels are at perfect right angles!”

        “That is not actually necessary.  You can easily see the tunnels are several degrees of deviation off of true.  They were dug by diamond dogs, after all.”

        Silver Spoon was pondering what Quiz described.  “Rectangles…  laid out in a grid… wait, do you mean like houses?  In a city?”

“Yes, exactly.”

“And you don’t think the diamond dogs built it?  Do you think it was ponies?!”

Quiz tried to nod, but couldn’t while lying on Shadow’s back.  “Yes, I do.”

“We’re in a lost city?!” exclaimed Silver.

“‘Lost’ is not how I would describe it…”

“Like in a Daring Do adventure?” cried Shadow.

“Oh, dear, I hope not.”

They finally had Diamond Tiara’s attention.  “With, like, golden idols, and treasure troves?!!”

“And secrets hidden away for centuries!” Shadow was totally caught up in the notion.

“Like King Solo-mane’s Mines!”  Silver Spoon was now trembling with excitement.

“I said nothing of that,” said Quiz.  “I would be surprised to find anything like that.”

“Yeah, but you’re easily surprised,” said Diamond.

“We’re in the Everfree Forest, Quizzie,” Shadow pointed out.  “Everything you stumble across in the Everfree is a surprise.”

“Well… perhaps,” said Quiz.  “The diamond dogs are certainly curious about this place.”


	#


	

Stranger returned to the rest of the green team after scouting ahead.  

Tracking the diamond dogs and the foals had been easy on the tunnels’ upper levels, where the floor was dirty and tracks were plentiful.  But as they went deeper the tunnel floor became hard, bare stone, and it became difficult to find the traces of even that large party’s passing.  At a fork where the tunnel branched three ways the team feared they had lost the trail.

        “They went down the branch on the left,” said Stranger.  “The dust has been disturbed the most that way.  But I must warn my fellow unicorns, the magic in the air is rising.  I believe we are coming to an opening.”

        “Oh, now that is really just too much,” complained Rarity.  “Am I going to have to hang that ridiculous copper wire from my horn again?”

        “I thought the copper coil looked quite fetching,” commented the Professor.  “Though the grounding wire dangling from it was a bit geeky, yes.”

        “It worked, didn’t it?” grumbled Tim.

        “Relax, Rarity, this is a good sign,” said Applejack.  “If we are coming up on the cliff then we know we’re getting close.”

        “Oh, I’ll be sooo good to be outside again, if just for a little while,” said Fern.  She seemed to be forgetting that ‘outside’ was the dark, scary forest she’d been eager to get away from.  “Nothing grows down here.  Nothing’s green.  There aren’t even any green rocks!”

        They followed Stranger down the passage and soon came to the opening he’d predicted.  The tunnel ended with a narrow ledge with a rope and plank bridge anchored to it.

        “Is that thing safe?” asked Fern, fluttering her wings in agitation.  She blushed, and added, “For you guys, I mean.”

        “It certainly doesn’t look it,” said the Professor.  “But on a positive note, the air does feel a bit fresher than it did the last time we were out.  I believe the magic storm may be fading.”

        “I agree,” said Stranger.

        “I can’t tell,” said Rarity.  “I only know that it still isn’t any good for my hair, and probably not for my complexion.”

        Applejack stepped up to the bridge and tapped the first plank tentatively with a front hoof.  “Tim, you’re the engineer, what’s you opinion… Tim?”

        Tim had already casually walked out onto the bridge.  He returned after what looked like a brief inspection.  “It’s sound.  It may be a little old, but it’s been well maintained.”

        “A little old!” Applejack stared at him.  “Tim, nopony has been here for hundreds of years!”

        Tim snorted.  “Oh, this wasn’t built by ponies.  This looks more like diamond dog construction.  It’s maybe thirty or forty years old, but a lot of it’s been repaired and replaced.  This route must be important to the dogs.”

        “Thirty or forty years?” mused Applejack.  “Just how long have the diamond dogs been exploring the Everfree?”


#


        “...oh, many generations.  Many, many generations,” said Indy, answering Spike’s question.

        “How many is ‘many, many’?”

        “Indy does not know.  That is as precise as diamond dog record keeping gets.”

        Spike frowned.  “You know all these tunnels under the Everfree are outside the borders you claimed in your treaty with the ponies.”

        “True, but those borders are meant to prevent conflict between pony miners and diamond dogs.  Since little ponies do not mine inside the Everfree Forest there is no conflict.  It is a quibble.”

        “Sure, but it’s a quibble you have with Princess Luna.” 

        Indy shuddered.  “Yes, Indy expects to pay for this.  To pay, and pay, and pay.  It is a shame, really.  The ponies demands had been so fair.  Up until now, that is.”

        “And telling the Princesses about this place never occurred to you guys?”  Spike was getting agitated, and began waving his arms around wildly.

        “Actually, Indy would have loved to share this with the Princesses, but Chief Bowser forbid it.”  Indy shrugged.  “Indy is not the Chief, merely the Chief’s appointed spokes-dog because the Chief cannot stand to talk to little ponies.”

        “Oh, come on!” cried Spike, gesticulating madly.   “It’s a lost city!  A. Lost. City!”

        “It had been empty for a very long time before the diamond dogs found it.  The little ponies showed no sign of even remembering ever losing something in the Forest, let alone wanting it back.  It seemed a harmless secret to keep.”

        “You have got to be kidding!” shouted Spike, throwing his arms up.  ‘Toven had to put a paw on Spike’s shoulder to steady him.

        “Spike, please sit still,” rumbled the huge diamond dog.  “I do not want to drop you.”

        “Sorry,” said Spike, shifting to a more stable position.  “So, what have you guys found out there?”

        “Very little.  Besides the city itself, of course,” said Indy.  “Most dogs explore it out of curiosity.  Indy has visited there.  Indy’s father, Jones, and Indy’s grandfather, Doc, explored as well.  We found some inscriptions, but most of them made no sense even to the few dogs who could read them.  Now, other dogs explore obsessively, convinced they will find wondrous treasures if they just keep looking.”

        “Do you think Bowser has found something?”

        Indy shrugged.  “There is no telling what Bowser is doing.”


#


        “We halt here!” bellowed Chief Bowser.  “The little ponies will have a brief rest - a very brief rest!  Then they will be put back to work.”

        The tunnel widened, and the foals were led into a huge cavern, filled with carts.  Each cart was heavily laden with rectangular objects, all of which were covered with sheets or tarps.

        “Oh, man!” whined Snips.  “I hate pulling carts.”

        “At least these have wheels,” Snails pointed out.

        “The good news is that the little ponies’ work is almost finished,” said Bowser.  “After a short haul Chief Bowser will be done with you.”

        “The children are already exhausted,” protested Cheerilee.  “How short is this ‘short haul.’”

        Bowser chuckled.  “The little ponies will probably think it is longer than Chief Bowser does.  Now, remember this!  The little ponies may not move the sheets.  They may not look at the cargo.  It is forbidden!”

        Snips went to one of the carts and touched a tarp.  “Hey, this isn’t a box, it’s like a cage or something.  I feel bars.  And I think I hear a chicken.”

        Whatever was inside hissed.  Snips jumped back so hard he went tumbling.

        Bowser roared with laughter.  “The little ponies may not look at any of the cargo.  But they should take special care not to look at this particular cargo!”


#


        “Seriously?” grumbled Rainbow Dash, glaring at the intersection in front of the blue team.  The tunnel they had been following had blossomed into eight new passages.  “Who designed this place, Discord?”

        “These two seem to to be going in almost the right direction.”  Autumn pointed a hoof at two of the tunnel mouths.  “Kinda.  Sorta.”

        Navy snorted derisively.  “Any path we pick is going to be pretty much random.  Up in the sky my sense of direction is flawless, but down here?  Down here I got nothing.  This sucks.”

        “Well, we could take one of the tunnels that go upward,” Mayor Mare suggested, tentatively.  “We could easily find the castle ruins if we went back to the surface.”

        “Back into the magic storm?”  Stone Hoof cringed.  “No thanks.”

        “I must point out that the storm might place all us at risk, not only Stone and myself,” said Infernalo.  “Unicorns feel it most profoundly, but all ponies are said to possess some sort of magic.  There is no way to know how exposure to the storm effects all of you.”

        “And there’s no way to know what the side effects could be,” added Professor Coal Heart.  Then he laughed.  “By the way, Madam Mayor, is your mane turning green?”

        “Shut up, Professor!”

        “Now, now… wait.  Let me try something.”  Professor Heart searched through his bag, and came up with a length of black cord between his teeth.  Dangling from the end was a pointy shard of black rock.  It spun slowly for a moment before coming to rest, pointing directly at one of the tunnels.

        “What is that thing?” asked Rainbow.

        Professor Heart shrugged.  “It was a gift from the Con Committee.  They said it was a piece broken from the base of the Castle, and sympathetic magic would make it always point the way back to the Castle.  As if I would need such a thing!  I certainly never imagined myself exploring the Everfree Forest.  I actually assumed it was a fake, just a stone on a string.  But apparently it works.”

        “Okay, it’s as good a plan a we’ve got,” declared Rainbow.  Without waiting for further discussion, she started down the tunnel the stone had indicated.  Nopony had any better ideas, so they followed.

        “Yes, if I am correct, then this tunnel should take us into the dungeon of the old Castle,” said Professor Heart.  “That’s where you want to be, isn’t it?”


#


        Quiz and her little party passed through a stone block archway, and entered a colossal opening.  It was Silver Spoon’s turn to hold the torch, and she waved it about, trying to cast some light on the cavern’s features.  She was able to reveal nothing.  “I can’t find the walls.  Or the ceiling!  Like, how big is this place?”

        “I have an idea,” said Quiz.  “Silver, please douse the light.”

        “What?!” demanded Diamond Tiara.  “It’s dark enough with the torch.  You may like that, Quiz-ik-al, but the rest of us are normal.”

        “Are you sure, Quiz?” asked Silver.

        When Quiz nodded, Silver put out the torch.

        There was only a moment of darkness.  Then the entire dome of the chamber’s ceiling came to life, glowing bright blue-white.  It was almost as bright as daylight.

        “Wow!” gasped Shadow.  “Bioluminescence!  But I’ve never seen anything like this.  I’ve seen some clumps of mushrooms that I thought were pretty big, but nothing like this!  This is awesome!”

        “It’s really pretty,” admitted Diamond.

        “Quiz, how did you know?” asked Silver.

        “I did not know, but I guessed,” answered Quiz.  “I have read that the pre-Canterlot ponies knew how to cultivate lichens that glow in the dark, but they will only glow if there is complete darkness.  It is a skill that has been lost over the ages.  I thought this huge cavern would be a likely place to grow them.”

        “Huge is right,” said Diamond.  “Just look at this place.”

        The light revealed a cavern much, much bigger than the ponies had imagined.

        Half of downtown Ponyville could easily fit inside.   Several square columns, as big around as most houses, held up the ceiling.  The rest of the opening appeared to have been carved away.  The whole thing was split by a wide canyon, with ramps cut into its sides.  This was so deep that even in the light its bottom was lost in shadows.  The canyon looked bottomless.

        “What is this place?” asked Diamond.  “A mine?  Do you think it might be a mine?  That would be so cool!”

        “It is a quarry,” said Quiz.

        “Aww, I wanted to find a lost mine,” whined Diamond.  Quiz did not seem to notice her three companions’ disappointment.

        “There is no record of where all the dark stone used to build the Royal Sister’s Castle came from.  It must have come from here.  The ponies who built it apparently did not think it was beautiful, and so they hid it underground.  That is a pity.”

        “Whatever,” grumbled Diamond.

        “Hay, look what I found,” called Shadow.  Near the canyon’s edge sat a row of eight little hopper cars, resting on steel rails.  The tracks ahead of them entered the canyon and followed the ramps down.  “These are definitely not a thousand years old.  The diamond dogs must have rebuilt the old pony system for their own uses.”

Shadow gave the lead car a push, and seemed pleased with how well it rolled.  He tested the huge brake lever.  “Oh, yeah, these work just fine.  Come on, Girls, let’s go for a ride.”

“Excellent!” cried Diamond, bouncing and clapping her hooves.  “This is going to be fun.  A whole lot of fun.”

“I’m happy enough not having to walk for a while,” said Silver. “I am so tired of just walking… oh.  Oh, no.”

“What’s the matter, Silvy?” asked Shadow.  “It really will be fun, and we won’t have to just walk… oh.  Oh, no.”

“Oh, yes!” exclaimed Diamond.

All three turned to face Quiz.  Silver and Shadow looked apologetic.  Diamond was smirking.

“Bother,” muttered Quiz.  “I should have been able to predict this.  The way this night has gone I have no excuse for being surprised.  Here, far underground, you have all managed to find a way to get me on a rollercoaster.  Of course.”

> Chapter 12  "More Excitement?  Of Course."  Heavy, Heavy Sigh.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom



Chapter 12  “More Excitement?  Of Course.”  Heavy, Heavy Sigh.



        
        
        Shadow helped Diamond and Silver into the mine cart, then turned to do the same for Quiz.  She wasn’t there.

        It took Shadow a moment to find her, even though Quiz wasn’t actually trying to hide, she had merely faded into the background.  Quiz had wandered over to the edge of the canyon, and was examining something.

        “Come on, Quizzie,” called Shadow.  “We need to get rolling before Reader and his thugs catch up to us.”

        “Look, Shadow.” Quiz pointed.  “I have found stairs going down.”

        Shadow shook his head.  “That will take too long, Quizzie.  The diamond dogs will overtake us.  Come along now.”

        “But… but… but, Shadow,” stammered Quiz.  “There are stairs.”

        “Look into the canyon, Quizzie.  There are no bridges.  We have to go all the way to the bottom to cross.  We don’t have time to walk down.”

        “But… there are stairs.”

        “No way am I walking down a hundred flights of stairs, Quiz-ik-al!” sneered Diamond.  “And apparently Shadow won’t leave you behind.  So get your flank over here and get in this cart!”

        Quiz’s trepidation was beginning to affect Silver.  “Gee, do you think Quiz might have a point?  Every time Daring Do gets into one of these things there’s a bridge out somewhere ahead.”

        “That only happened in two books,” said Shadow.  “And this isn’t a Daring Do adventure.  If it was then we’d have already had to run away from a rolling boulder at least once.  Now both of you settle down.  If it makes you feel better, Silvy, you can handle the brake.”

        “The brake?  Me?”

        Shadow nodded.  “You’ll have control of our speed, and you can stop us any time.  We won’t be flying off any cliffs today.”

        “All I do is pull the lever?”  asked Silver Spoon.

“Yep.  Just remember to slow us down at each turn.   This isn’t supposed to actually be a thrill ride.  We just want a ride to the bottom.  Oh, and don’t yank it too hard.  The wood’s a little old.”

        “I don’t know…”  

“Just try it, Silver,” said Diamond.  “If you don’t like it, I’ll take over.” 

          “Good, that’s all sorted out. We just need the last of us loaded.”  Shadow called out, “Quiz, come and get in the cart please.”

        Quiz hung her head and slowly walked back to the hopper car.  As Shadow boosted her over the side of the car, she muttered, “But there are stairs.”

        Quiz immediately curled up in a little ball at the bottom of the car.

        Shadow gave them a running push, hopped aboard, and they were underway.


 #


        “Bugbears?”

        “They have a large cave system under the central highlands.”

        “Kappas?”

        “There’s at least one in each of the cold streams flowing to the east.”

        “Bushwoolies?”

        “They’re plentiful along the border where the Everfree and Whitetail Woods meet.”

        The Everfree Forest was beginning to grow on Fluttershy.  The longer she remained there without anything trying to eat her the more she came to appreciate the Forest.  It helped that she could ask Shady about the wonderful creatures he’d found in the Forest, and Shady was quite charming so long as he wasn’t talking about creatures that might try to eat her.

        What Shady had said hours before was definitely true.  Not all of nature is red of tooth and claw, even in the Everfree Forest.

        “Drop Bears?”

        “They are very rare, but you’ll encounter them near the extreme south end of the Forest.  Terribly cute little fellows, nasty claws and all.”

        “Tree octopi?”

        “They are very, very rare these days, but you can still find them in the northwest corner of the Forest.”

        “Actually, Doc, they have a colony that’s a lot bigger than you think,” interrupted Drago.  “Sorry, but I can’t tell you where they hide.  Gotta respect their privacy.”

Fluttershy was also growing to like Drago.  This surprised her very much.  The dragon was helpful and friendly and very nice, in his own way.  He had also kept his promise not to try and eat her.

“I must say, Drago, I would love to sit down with you and discuss the Forest life sometime,” said Shady.

“Sure, Doc, I’d like that, too.  Bring your field notebook over some day, we’ll make a party of it.  But you bring the snacks.  I’m partial to sapphires and aquamarines.”

Fluttershy resumed asking about the local fauna.  “Chupacabras?”

“They’re solitary and prefer to stay on the move.  They tend not to be very territorial.”  Shady looked thoughtful.  “Curiously, I have never heard of one actually attacking a goat.”

Drago laughed.  “Most goats are smart enough to avoid the Chupas.”

“What about pixie-fairies?” asked Fluttershy.

“Um… those are from a fantasy role-playing game, dear,” answered Shady.

“Oh.”

“Hey, I know something you might like,” said Drago.  “When the firebirds come back in the spring.”

“There are firebirds in the Everfree Forest?” gasped Fluttershy.

“They don’t reside here,” said Shady.  “But the Forest is on their migratory flyway.”

“I know where they roost to rest up before continuing north,” said Drago.  “It’s called Mount Lightning.  I could take you there.”

“Um… that’s nice.  But… um… could I, maybe… bring some friends?”  Fluttershy blushed.

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed.  I get it.”  Drago gave Fluttershy a gentle nudge.  Considering that the dragon could casually knocked her off her hooves, it was surprising that the ‘gentle nudge’ was actually gentle.  “You don’t want to be alone with me.  You can’t help it, you have dracophobia.  I’m not put out.  It’s nice of you to try and keep it to yourself.”

“Thank you for being understanding, Drago.  It’s very sweet of you.”

Shady started when she said this, and Fluttershy cringed when she realized why.  “Oh, my, that’s a terrible insult to a dragon, isn’t it?  I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean it…”

Drago laughed.  “Hey, I don’t mind that a pony thinks I’m sweet.  I’m pretty secure about my fearsomeness.  Just don’t say that around another dragon.”

“Oh, I promise I won’t,” said Fluttershy.  “I’m pretty sure that will never be an issue.”

“Right.  Anyway, like I was saying, a little dracophobia is nothing to be ashamed of.  A lot of it’s because of the image we dragons deliberately cultivate.  Oh, funny story, you might appreciate this.  During the dragon migration I met a big guy with a touch of equiphobia.  And he was this huge, fierce type!  What brought it on was apparently a pegasus landed on his snout, stomped up the length of it, right up to his face, and almost touched him on the eyeball with her muzzle!  Then she told him off for smoking in his sleep.  The poor guy had to do the migration for a vacation to get over it enough to get back to his nap!”

“That’s… very interesting,” said Fluttershy.

Further up the tunnel, the foals were bickering.

“I just don’t think ‘Ambush Raiders’ is a good name,” said Angel.  “You go to someone to raid them.  You trick them into coming to you to ambush them.  The two are mutually exclusive.”

Pip giggled.  “You sound like Miss Quizzical.”

“I do not!” cried Angel.  “I don’t sound like Quiz at all.  I can talk normally.”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say about Miss Quizzical,” warned Pip.  “You better stop doing that.”

“Don’t start that, you two.  We’re a team so we have to play nicely,” interrupted Vallory.  “Anyway, I think you’re wrong, Angel.  ‘Ambush Raiders’ is an awesome name, and your own point proves it.  It shows how versatile we are!”

“Children, I think that’s enough,” ordered Derpy.  “No more talk about ambushes or raids.”

Since herding the foals had become nearly impossible, the adults had made a deal with them.  They would all follow the tunnel until it ended in the old pony city.  They would then head home to Ponyville, and report everything they had discovered to any search party they encountered along the way.  If they encountered any diamond dogs the children had strict orders to run away.

That this plan would be followed to the letter was a bit overly optimistic on the part of the adult ponies.  However, it seemed like a reasonable compromise to offer the children, since they now had Drago with them.  With a dragon on their side the foals were probably safer than they had been all day.

“But Miss Derpy!” cried Vallory, waving a blunt-headed arrow for emphasis.  “We’re ready for them!  I’m certain I can score that one diamond dog right between the eyes again!  We’re the Ambush Raiders!  Huzzah!”

“Huzzah!” cried all the the foals.

“I said that was enough,” said Derpy, sternly.  “And that’s also enough of weapons.  Put it away now, Vallory.”

“Awww.”


#


Only a foot away, in a parallel tunnel, Digger had his ear pressed to the wall.

“Well?” snapped Daggett, impatiently.  “Can you hear?  Is it them?”

“Oh, yes.  The little loud one with the bow is unmistakable.”  Digger cringed.  “I do not like the little loud one.  She wants to shoot me in the face again!”

“Enough about your face!  Now, let us hurry to get ahead of them.”  Daggett’s eyes shown with either glee, or madness, or perhaps a bit of both.  “I have a clever plan!”

“Can’t we just go home, Daggett?” whined Alpha.

“No!”


#


“Whoa!  A little more brake on the next turn, Silvy.”

They had taken the first turn on two wheels.

“This contradicts what you said about this not being a thrill ride,” Quiz protested.  She was barely audible.

“Sorry.”  Silver Spoon pulled the lever harder.  “Oh, my Gosh!  Should it be throwing all these sparks?”

“Yeah, that means it’s working,” answered Shadow.  “The brake is metal on metal.  See, we’re slowing down nicely.  Um… maybe that’s a little too slow.  Let it out it out a little, Silvy.  I don’t want to have to get out and push.”

“Darn it!” Silver cried in frustration.  “I have no feel for this at all.  Diamond, take over.”

“I’d be delighted!”  The fillies traded places, and Diamond Tiara took hold of the brake.  A feral grin spread across Diamond’s face.  “That loser Scootaloo thinks she’s the only pony who can drive!”

Diamond Tiara turned out to be a natural.  The mine cart flew down every straightaway, slowing just enough at each switchback to take the turn smoothly.  Luckily, Quiz kept her eyes closed and her hooves over her face.  Had Quiz looked up to see Diamond, the wind in her mane and a wild gleam in her eyes, Quiz’s heart might have stopped.

They had plunged down ten flights when Silver pointed up at the rim of the quarry.  “Look, it’s the diamond dogs.”

“Hah!” Diamond’s grin grew broader.  “If the Mangy Trio want to catch us they can just try!”

Quiz whimpered.

“Are they waving to us?  That’s cheeky.”  Shadow’s brow furrowed in confusion.  “Wait, what are they doing?  Why aren’t they using one of the other carts to chase us?”

“I don’t understand,” exclaimed Silver.  “Seriously, this doesn’t make sense.  What are those stupid dogs doing?”

Quiz became just curious enough to take a quick peek.  “Well, I believe this is ironic.  The diamond dogs are taking the stairs.”


#


“Good-bye, little ponies,” said Reader.  “One way or another, I will see you below.”

Reader waved good-bye once more, then turned to join his companions on the stairs.

Scud chuckled.  “The little ponies will be surprised when we get to the bottom ahead of them.  They do not know about about the elevator three levels down.   Stupid ponies!”

Scud and Corso laughed.

Reader glared at them.  “Really?  You think that is the biggest surprise for the ponies here in this pit?  You cannot think of perhaps one much bigger surprise that awaits them?”

Scud scratched his head, then beamed as it dawned on him.  “You are right, Reader!  That will be a big surprise!”


#


Indy and his friends followed the trail left by Bowser’s pack until they came to a section of tunnel that had collapsed and blocked their way.  Indy and Spike stood back, staying out of the way while the better trackers examined the blockage.  Spike nibbled on an emerald he’d brought, just in case he needed a quick energy snack, but it was impossible to enjoy the gem because Indy was so distracting.  Indy paced and wrung his hands helplessly the whole time they waited.

Finally, two of the diamond dogs approached.

“Lucky, Gruff, you have…” Indy’s voice cracked, and he gulped hard.  “...something to report?”

Lucky grinned.  “We have good news.  There are no little ponies buried under the rubble.  There is only more rubble.”

“There is even better news,” added Gruff.  “The scents are very confusing, so many dogs and ponies came this way.  But no diamond dogs returned, they must all have been on the other side of the cave in.  Some ponies did come this way, at least two, possibly four.  One of them was the Quizzical.”

“You are certain?”

Gruff and Lucky nodded emphatically.  “The Gem Finder’s scent is unmistakable.”  

Spike raised an eyebrow.  “You guys know Quiz by her scent?”

“Oh, yes, it is very distinct,” said Indy.  “There are hints of fine old books, and stone dust from deep layers.  Quizzical has a very old scent for one so young.  Among diamond dogs that’s actually a compliment, you know.”

“That’s interesting, I guess.”  Then Spike gasped.  “Dude, are you crying?”

Indy rubbed his eyes.  “Indy has just heard that his friend Quizzical is alive and free, and that she is not all alone.  A few tears of relief seem justified.”

“Sorry, don’t get all defensive.  I’m relieved, too,” said Spike.  “Though I gotta be honest, I don’t entirely get it.  How did you and Quiz become friends, anyway?”

“Indy met Quizzical at a time when she needed a friend as badly as any pony ever needed a friend.  Indy saw it as his duty to be that friend.  It wasn’t easy.  At the time, Quizzical was in no mood to befriend a diamond dog.”

“But you were her jailer, weren’t you?”

“No, Indy was her keeper.  It was Indy’s duty to see to it that the clever pony was fit for work.  Indy decided that this included being her friend.  This is, perhaps, a very broad interpretation of Indy’s duty, but it worked for Indy.”

“Aww, come on!”  exclaimed Spike.  He reached up to give Indy a friendly pat on the back, and settled for the back of Indy’s knee.  “You were just being a nice guy.”

“Try not to act so surprised, Spike,” grumbled Indy.  “Diamond dogs are people, too.  Some of us are nice guys.  Indy will admit, diamond dogs skew slightly towards being not so nice, but we are not all like Chief Bowser.  Spike is currently in the company of many diamond dogs, and we are all nice guys.”

“Indy!” A diamond dog called from the tunnel behind them.  “We have found the trail.  It is definitely the Quizzical, and three other ponies.”

“Then let us hurry to follow!  Quizzical is not yet out of danger.  Where is ‘Toven?  Spike still needs a ride.”


#


“Dia!  Slow down!”

“I’m trying, Shadow!” shouted Diamond Tiara.  She was straining with the brake lever.  “It’s steeper down on these levels.  I think the ponies who built it got bored and really did turn it into a thrill ride.”

“Do your best, Dia.  We may have to shift our weight to make the turns.”

“Let me help,” said Silver.  She joined Diamond, and the two ponies threw all their weight against the lever.  Sparks flew from the wheel, arcing high above the cart.

“Careful!” cried Shadow.  “You’ll snap…”

Snap!

The two fillies almost tumbled out of the cart as the lever broke off.  The brake shoe was now free-wheeling, and clattered as it bounced ineffectively against the spinning wheel.

“Shadow!  What do we do?!” cried Diamond and Silver, in unison.

“Now, don’t panic, Girls, I’m sure we’ll think of something,” replied Shadow.  “This isn’t the worst thing that could happen….  Uh, oh.”

The fillies followed Shadow’s gaze to something below them in the quarry.  “I just knew it!” declared Silver.

“Well, I guess we know why Reader didn’t follow us in a cart,” said Diamond.  “And why we couldn’t see a bridge from up on top.”

From the bottom of the cart, Quiz groaned.  “I sense that somepony is about to say that the bridge is out.  I absolutely forbid you all from saying this.”

“Okay, Quizzie,” answered Shadow.  “But not saying is kinda a lie.”

> Chapter 13  Thrill Ride
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom



Chapter 13  Thrill Ride



“One… two… three…”

Quiz peeked over the edge of the cart, and carefully counted to herself.  They came to a switchback, and Quiz was thrown to the floor of the cart as they rocketed through the turn on two wheels.  On the straightaway the cart settled back onto the rails with a thud.

“We barely made it,” said Shadow.  “If we don’t slow down we won’t even make it to the bridge, we’ll derail on the last turn.”

Quiz summoned a magic blackboard, which floated above the cart.  Equations covered the board and numbers swiftly began to replace the variables.  “I know our speed, assuming the old ponies space their columns the same as modern engineers… too many assumptions… too many estimates… too much guesswork…”

“Quizzie, what are you doing?” 

“Let her work, Shadow,” said Silver Spoon.  “Can’t you see she’s in the zone?”

“To allow for all the unknowns I shall have to calculate a range, using highest and lowest values… this is a novel challenge…”

“She’s trying to calculate our way out of this?” asked Shadow, incredulously.  “While we’re speeding headlong to our apparent doom? Can she do that?!”

The corner of Quiz’s mouth actually turned up slightly, and she whispered,  “Bring it on.”

The numbers shifted on Quiz’s board faster than the other ponies could read them.  “Shadow, you weigh about forty-five pounds?”

“Forty-two, I’m leaner than I look.  Why?”

“Good, then our weight is a known.  Diamond weighs thirty-three pounds, Silver thirty-six, twenty-eight for myself, the cart is a model I am familiar with…”

“Hay!” cried Diamond Tiara.  “You know how much we weigh?”

“Um… the Crusaders asked me to estimate that from your measurements…”

“That is private information, between us and our dressmaker!”  Diamond would have stomped her hoof, if she could have done so without losing her balance.

“I have reason to believe Sweetie Belle did not ask Miss Rarity’s permission before looking into your files.  Um… I have probably said too much.” Quiz paused to choose her words carefully, though the march of numbers across her blackboard never slowed.  “No details were shared with me, but you may expect your weights to figure in a prank in the near future.”

“Those losers better not try!”

“Diamond, we have more pressing things to worry about!” shouted Silver.

Quiz nodded.  “Shadow is correct.  We will leave the tracks on the next turn if we cannot slow down.”

This was not what they wanted to hear.

“Fine!” declared Diamond.  “Then I’ll slow us down.  Shadow, hold my legs.”

“Dia, now what are you doing?!”  Shadow jumped to grab Diamond’s hind legs, as she leaned over the side of the cart with the stump of the brake lever.

“I just told you!  I’m slowing us down!”  Diamond jammed the lever into the wheel well, and pushed as hard as she could.  “Didn’t you hear me, you stupid wheel?!  I said ‘slow down’!  Slow… err… down… ugh!  Darn it!  Why doesn’t anything do what I tell it to?”

The end of the lever began to smoke.

“Diamond, I think it’s working,” cried Silver.  “At least, a little bit.”

Quiz sighted on a passing pillar, and counted again.  “I agree.  But I cannot be certain it is enough.”

“Okay, girls, we have to keep the wheels on the tracks,” ordered Shadow.  “Get ready to throw your weight to hold down the outside wheels.”

“How do you do that?” asked Silver.

“Think heavy thoughts!”

“Yoaw!” screamed Diamond, throwing the lever away.  It had burst into flames.

“Here we go, girls!” shouted Shadow.  “To the outside of the turn, push down!”

“Wooooooooooah!” cried all the ponies, except Quiz.

Despite their best efforts, the outside wheels did rise, and the cart came out of the turn precariously balanced on one rail.  It continued, wobbling, for what seemed like forever before finally slamming down on all four wheels.

“We made it!  We made it!  We…”  Shadow stopped when he looked at Quiz’s face.  “We are celebrating a bit early, aren’t we?”

Quiz nodded.  “Even by my most optimistic estimates, we are too heavy to jump the gap at the bridge.”

“Then we lighten the load.”  Shadow flexed his wings.  He blushed when they all saw him wince with pain.  “Don’t look at me like that.  I don’t have to fly; it’s more of a hop.  A little flare to lose momentum, then a nice gentle landing.”

“It is not enough, Shadow.”

“Then I take one of you with me, I’m sure I can carry one…”

“It is still not enough, Shadow.  I estimate that…”  Quiz paused.  “Only the… um… lightest of us could probably reach the other side.  Alone.”

“Oh.”  Shadow looked stricken.  “Then just forget it.”

“But Shadow, you could save yourself!” exclaimed Silver.

“Well, don’t ask me to pick just one of you to save!  I’d rather ride it out with you guys than do that.”

“Do we have time to draw straws?” asked Diamond

“We don’t have any straws,” answered Silver.

“That will not be necessary,” said Quiz.  The magic blackboard disappeared, but her horn continued to glow.  “There is another way.”

“Quizzie, what are you doing?”

“I must apologize to you all, I will do my best to dampen your momentum, but I am not very good with swiftly moving targets.”  Quiz now had to yell to be heard over the wind and the clatter of the wheels.  “Please try to tuck and roll when you land.”

There were three soft ‘pops’ as Quiz teleported the other ponies away.

They all reappeared on the far side of the gorge.  Shadow was able to use his wings to steady himself, and he still ended up sitting down hard.  Silver and Diamond went tumbling, and rolled for several feet.

“Well, that could have been smoother,” said Diamond, shaking her head to throw some of the dust out of her mane.

“Don’t complain, we’re safe now,” said Silver.  “Oww, I skinned my knee!”

“Where’s Quizzie?” cried Shadow.  “Why didn’t she come, too?”

“She can’t,” answered Diamond.  “Quiz can teleport almost everything except herself.  She’s still in the cart.”

Across the gorge the mine cart had already shot past them.  Shadow sprinted after it, calling for Quiz.  The fillies ran after him.

“Quizzie!  Girls, I can’t see her there!”

“She probably ducked down and put her hooves over her face,” said Silver.  “I don’t think she’ll want to watch what happens next.”

“Oh, gosh, she may have fainted!” gasped Diamond.  “Quiz gets really strained when she teleports anything as heavy as us.”

“How did you know that?” demanded Shadow.  “That’s private information between Quiz and her magic instructor.”

“I… may have done some research.”  Diamond flinched.  “Okay, it was for a prank.  I was going to have Quiz teleport an empty box for me, just as soon as I figured out how to hide the lead lining.  Don’t judge me!”

“How can you even think about that right now?” asked Shadow,

“I wasn’t thinking about it until you asked!” snapped Diamond.  “Look, Quiz will be fine.  She always will be fine.  She… oh, my gosh, there she goes!”

The cart hit what remained of the bridge and shot up it, as if being launched off a ramp.  The end of the damaged rails were twisted, and as the cart flew across the gap it began to roll.  

The cart landed, upside down, on the far side, just past the lip of the ledge.  It hit with a mighty ‘clang!’ that shook the three little ponies.

Silver went slowly to the edge and looked down.  “I… I think I saw something fall out.  Did any of you see it?”

“What?!”  Diamond ran to stand next to her friend, and looked down into the quarry.  If there was anything at the bottom of the pit they couldn’t see it.

“She can’t have fallen!” shrieked Diamond.  “I still have plans for her!  I’m going to get her good; and after that I’ll get her again, and that’ll be even bigger!  Do you hear me, Quiz-ik-al!   You come back, right now!  I’m not done with you!”

There was a faint banging, coming from inside the overturned cart.

“Girls,” called Shadow, from next to the cart.  “Could you please come here and help me get this thing off of Quizzie?”

It took all three of them to push the cart onto its side.  This freed Quiz, who staggered out, blinking and shaking her head.  “Well, that… was quite… extraordinary.”

“Quizzie, are you okay?” asked Shadow.  He didn’t dare touch her until he knew Quiz hadn’t broken anything.

“I can barely hear you, the landing was very loud.  I feel much as the clapper must feel when Miss Pinkie is the bellringer.”

“Well, if you can’t hear me, then I’ll just have to show you how glad I am that you made it.”  Shadow lunged at Quiz, and enveloped her in a hug.  Silver immediately joined them.  Even Diamond reached out, and patted Quiz on the back.

“Please, there is no need to become emotional,” protested Quiz.  “It was not that bad.  Except for the chance of dying, it was better than riding the Tail Twister.”

“That’s right, you heard her, guys,” stated Diamond.  “It was no big deal.  There’s no reason to ever talk about anything that just happened.”

“Yes, my hearing is only just now returning to me,” said Quiz.  “I did not hear a thing that was said before.  Hmmm.  I must remember to tell Scootaloo that I have finally experienced one of those barrel rolls she is so excited about.  Well, half of one, anyway.”

“How did you like it?” asked Shadow.

“It reinforced my appreciation for just walking.”  Quiz squinted at her companions, then frowned.  “I thought my vision would clear, but the trouble is not my eyes.  I have lost my glasses again.”

Diamond laughed.  “Great!  Now you’ll be bumbling around through the caves, nearly  blind, like that nerdy filly in those ghost adventure comic books!”

Quiz’s horn glowed.  There was a soft ‘pop,’ then the glasses appeared back where they belonged, on Quiz’s face.

“You were saying, Diamond Tiara?”

“Whatever.”

> Chapter 14  Lost City
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom



Chapter 14   Lost City




        “Drago?  We can’t go any further.” 

        “Coming, Miss Derpy.”  The dragon made his way to the front of the party.  Derpy and the foals had to hug the tunnel walls to let him through.

        The tunnel ended with an archway, and this was blocked by a set of huge, steel double doors.  The metal looked timeworn, but still sturdy.  The doors were sealed with a bolt held in place by an odd cylindrical combination lock.  Drago muttered to himself as he set the five tumblers.  “One… three… decimal point… five… nine, there we go.”

        There was a click, and Drago slid the bolt aside, and pushed open the doors.  The old hinges groaned, but the doors swung easily.

        “Belch told me that the combination is a ‘magic number’ known only to cashiers and retail clerks.  I never did figure out what that meant.”  Drago lead the ponies into a huge, empty room.  The only features were a stone staircase going up, and an open metal door that was twice the size of the entrance.

        “Will that lock keep out the diamond dogs?” asked Derpy.

        Drago shook his head.  “Nah, anyone or anything that wants to get in can just walk in the front door, in the ruins up on the surface, then come down the stairs.  So it’s probably a good idea if we stay together.”

        “What is this place, Mr. Drago?” asked Pipsqueak.  “Is this a dungeon?”

        Drago chuckled.  “Sorry, kid, it’s nothing that exciting.  This is the cellar of the old city hall.  That big door over there is the treasury vault.”

        “Really?” gasped Pip, wide eyed.  “The old ponies hid their booty there?  Is there gold bullion?  Or pieces of eight?”

        “Lost works of art?  Forgotten manuscripts?” added Dinky.

        Angel rolled her eyes.  “That’s just silly.  It’s obviously empty.”

        “Yeah, I’m afraid Little Bit here is right.”  Drago nodded to Angel.  “I figure the old ponies took their treasury with them when they left, along with everything else.  You won’t find so much as a box of old tax forms in here.  But the vault door is too heavy and too well anchored to move, so they left it.”

        Valory peered into the vault.  “I apologize for contradicting you, Mr. Drago, but I can see something glittering on the floor in there.”

        “What?  Well, I’ll be…  Doc, let me borrow your torch.”  Drago took the light into the vault.  “Sure enough, it’s gems.  Just a couple of little ones, but that’s more than I ever found.  And what’s this?  This doesn’t make any sense.  ‘Ask Dr. Stalker, Derpy, and Fluttershy to come here.’  What the heck?!”

        “What is it, Drago?”  asked Fluttershy.  Hearing their names, the three adult ponies entered the vault.

        “What?  Oh, no, I wasn’t calling you.  I was just reading this note out loud…  Oh, no!  Don’t come in here!  It’s a trap!”

        The vault door swung shut.  This revealed the three diamond dogs who had been hiding behind it.

        “I can’t believe that worked, Daggett,” said Alpha, as he spun the wheel that locked the vault.  “I guess your plan was just too ridiculous to fail.”

        “Shut up, Alpha,” snapped Daggett.  Then he addressed the room.  “Now, children, you are all alone.  The older ponies and your dragon cannot help you.  Are you finally ready to surrender to me?”


#


        “Girls, I’ve found a tunnel on this level,” called Shadow.  “We can walk out of here without having to go further down.”

        “That is good, Shadow.  I look forward to walking…  Oh, oh dear.”  Quiz had been resting on the ground, and got to her hooves a little too quickly.  She stumbled and fell.

        Shadow ran to her.  “You did hurt yourself when you landed!  You shouldn’t fib about things like that.”

        “No, no, it was not the crash.”  Quiz sat up, but did not try to stand.  “It was the spell.  My weight limit is sadly low.”

Shadow smirked.  “Di might have mentioned something about that.”

“Why would Diamond Tiara know anything about that?”

“Never mind.”

“Well, at any rate, I should not teleport anything I cannot comfortably lift and carry…”

        “Something like me?”

        Quiz nodded.  “Like yourself.  But I was feeling super-charged, with all the magic I had absorbed, and with adrenalin.  That is… swiftly… wearing off.  But I will be… fine.”  The last word was garbled by a huge yawn.

        “You say that a lot.  I don’t think you and I define ‘fine’ the same way.”

        “It is a bad habit,” admitted Quiz.

        “You’re all in, Quizzie.  Let me…”

        “Please do not suggest that you carry me again, Shadow.  I look forward to... walking...on my own…”

        “Quizzie?” Quiz did not stir.  She didn’t even wake up when Shadow loaded her onto his back.

        Silver giggled.  “She’s going to be so embarrassed when she wakes up!”

        “Good grief, she even snores in a monotone drone!” observed Diamond.

        “I think she sounds cute,” said Shadow.


#


        “You did have a clever plan, Mr. Diamond Dog, Sir,” said Pipsqueak.  “Mostly.  But you have made one big mistake.”

        “Oh? And what is that?” demanded Daggett.

        “You have locked up the only ponies who can stop us from doing what we want to do.  Ambush Raiders, Huzzah!”  It is a bit unfortunate that this last was slurred, as Pip had stuck his stick between his clenched teeth.  But it was clear enough for the other foals to cry back.

        “Huzzah!”

        Pip charged, and when he reached Daggett he swung his head, and smacked the diamond dog on the shins with the stick.  Then he dodged around behind Daggett.  Daggett spun in place to try and face Pip and grab him, but the colt was too fast for him.  Pip continued to gallop in circles around Daggett, periodically smacking him with the stick again.

        “Oww!  Stop that!  Stop it!  Alpha, Digger, help me!”

        Digger took one step into the fray, but the first thing he saw was Valory drawing a bead on him with her bow and arrow.  He shrieked in terror, turned his back on her, and squatted down to make a little ball of himself with his paws over his face.

        This brought Digger down to Angel’s level, and made it impossible for him to see her coming.  She ran up to Digger, put her hooves on his shoulders, and pressed her horn against his ear.  There was a soft buzz, then Digger shrieked again; this time out of pain and surprise.

        “See, that’s how my spell is supposed to work,” said Angel.  Then she zapped Digger again.

        Now that Digger was no longer a viable target, Valory looked for another victim and found Daggett.  She waited for him to swing around and face her again, then scored a perfect hit on the bridge of Daggett’s nose.

        “Bullseye!” cried Valory, triumphantly.

        “Ouch!  That really, really hurts!” yelled Daggett.

        “I told you!” wailed Digger.

        “Shut up, Digger!  Oww!  Oww!!!”

        “And again!  And again!  Three in a row!” cheered Valory.  Daggett fell to his knees.  “And they say rubber safety tips are just harmless foal’s toys.  Hah!”

        Pip could now almost reach Daggett’s head,  and scored some impressive shots to Daggett’s back and chest.

        Alpha had been dithering about which foal represented the most immediate threat, and finally decided on Valory.  He ran to grab her, which allowed Dinky to get behind him and attempt a body slam.  It wasn’t a very impressive body slam, but she did manage to hit Alpha with all her weight right behind his knees.  This, and Alpha’s own momentum, sent him falling forward.  He landed face first.  Before Alpha could recover, Dinky ran up his back and began bouncing up and down between his shoulder blades.

        “Stop… that!  I… am… not… your… trampoline!”  Dinky carried on bouncing.

        Digger had by now had enough of being stung on the ear, and swung as hard as he could at Angel.  This was a bad idea, as his crouch was an awkward position for such a move.  Not only did Digger miss, but he lost his balance and fell over.  Angel took her cue from Dinky, and jumped on Digger and began to bounce.

        “Oh, good idea!” cried Pip.  “Let’s play bouncy castle!  Valory, help me knock him over.”

        “Please, we surrender!” cried Digger.  “Daggett, tell them we surrender!”

        “Honest, we will give up, if you children will just stop!” Alpha managed to gasp.

        “Never!  We will fight until they regret… Oof!”  Valory knocked the wind out of Daggett with a head butt to the diaphragm.  The diamond dog bent over double, and Pip could finally reach his head.  Pip made his next hit count.

        Daggett went down and stayed down.

        Pip briefly considered jumping on Daggett and bouncing.  But he dismissed the idea.  Now that Daggett was out cold it just wouldn’t be any fun.


#


        “Oh, there is no way the diamond dogs built this,” exclaimed Twilight Sparkle.  The red team had entered a passage made of stone blocks that arched over their heads.  

        “It looks like a storm drain,” said Mustang.  “Some of the older sections of Canterlot’s drainage system, down in the lower city, look just like this.  I’ve chased criminals through them.”

        “What a coincidence,” said one of the Chick brothers.

        “We’ve been chased through those storm drains,” finished the other brother.

        Twilight paused, made a big show of examining the stone work closely, and let the other ponies pass her.  When Big Mac walked by she gave him a nudge.  Mac stopped and stood next to her until all the ponies had gone by.

        “What is it, Twilight?” asked Mac.

        Twilight kept her voice low, as they fell in line, following a few steps behind everypony else.  “Our whole team is made up of strangers to me, except for you and Pinkie.  I trust your judgement, and I was hoping you could tell me who these ponies are.”

        Mac nodded.  “You can trust Relic.  I’ve known her a long time, and I can tell you she’s a good pony.”

        “What about Sky?”

        “I don’t know her well, but I think she’s okay.  She’s a little cocky, and she gets impatient and restless, which isn’t surprising.  She has a little rivalry with Rainbow Dash, naturally.  But she’s got a good heart, I think.”

        “And Mustang?”

        “AJ knows him better than me, but he’s one of the good guys.  He’s a local stallion who went off to Canterlot to join the Guards.  If anything he’s too serious, but I don’t take that as a fault in anypony.”  Twilight failed to notice the irony in Mac’s statement.  “Strange thing, though.  Mustang’s not a role player, but he joined the AD&D tournament right after the Chicks signed up.  He had to borrow dice - what kind of gamer doesn’t have their own dice?”

        “I wouldn’t know,” answered Twilight.  “I’m more into jigsaw puzzles.”

        “Well, Mustang wasn’t doing too badly.  It was some of the flattest role playing I’ve ever seen, but at tactics and strategy he’s very clever.  Then he just up and quit as soon as the Chick brothers were eliminated.”

        Twilight pondered this.  “That is strange.  That also brings us to the ones I really wanted to ask you about.”

        “The Chick brothers?”  Mac snorted derisively.  He double checked to see if the griffons could hear them before he continued.   “Those dumb birds got their characters killed in the fifth room!  AD&D is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid.”

        “That’s… interesting.”  Twilight resisted the temptation to roll her eyes.  “But that’s not really what I want to know about.”

        “Oh, right.  Well, I don’t know them, they aren’t from around here.  But I get the same bad vibe from them that you probably do.  When the sheriff says ‘Round up the usual suspects,’ I think he’s talking about the Chicks.  But they haven’t done anything wrong, so I try not to be judgy.”

        “Everyone deserves a chance, but keep an eye on them?” asked Twilight.

        “Exactly.”

        At the front of the party, Pinkie and Relic were now leading.  Pinkie bounced along with her typical, unbridled excitement.  Beside her, Relic did her best to remain stoic, but it wasn’t easy.

        “Isn’t this great, Relic?!” enthused Pinkie.  “We’re under the streets of a lost city!  Did you ever expect to find anything like this?!”

        “Not in the least,” admitted Relic.  “I’ve lived in the Everfree Forest long enough to know there are always surprises, but I’d seen so much I didn’t believe I could stumble across any big surprises.  Well, I’m surprised.  Good and surprised.  And I can hardly wait to walk into the next surprise we… Holy Moly!”

        Relic had walked out of the end of the passage and entered a gigantic room.  A walkway ran around the edge, but most of the floor was taken up by a deep pit.  Relic had to put a hoof on Pinkie’s chest to keep her from bouncing into the pit.

        Dozens of tunnels, each exactly like the one the team had just left, entered the room.  One opening, lower than all the others, and ten times as large, occupied an entire wall.   What was left of something metal lay across the pit; it was too rusted and damaged to be recognizable.

        “Wow!” gasped Pinkie.  “What is this place?”

        “I have no idea,”  said Relic.

        “I think it was a water treatment plant,” said Twilight.  “All the city’s runoff would have flowed here.  That rusted wreckage would have been screens to catch litter and debris. Then the water went out that big opening to… um, someplace else.”

        “I have a better question,” said Sky.  “Which way do we go?”

        All of them scanned the room, and the many identical tunnels.

        “I know!” cried one of the Chicks.  “We could use our thing-a-ma-bob.”

        “Good idea,” said the other Chick.  He pulled out a shard of dark stone that dangled from a black cord.  The stone slowly spun, then stopped.  It pointed to a tunnel on the far side of the room.

        “Cool!” exclaimed Pinkie.  “So, what is it, and what did it just do?”

        “It’s a magic thingy,” said on brother.

        “It’s supposed to show you the way to the old castle,” said the other.

        “Where did you get that?” demanded Mustang.

        The two griffons looked at each other, before one of them finally answered.  “We bought it at a grot shop in Lower, Lower Canterlot.”

        “I know of those shops,” snapped Mustang.  “Most of them deal in the purchase and sale of stolen goods!”

        “Really?” said one Chick, innocently.

        “You learn something new every day,” said the other.

        “Let’s not worry about that right now,” said Twilight.  “We now have an idea of how to proceed.  But please tell me how it works!  What enchantment does it use?  Is it sympathetic magic?  Does it get stronger as we get closer?”

        Twilight had many, many more questions.

        “Um, it just kinda points to the castle,” was the Chicks’ only answer.


#



       The tunnel took Shadow and the fillies upward, and would have taken them all the way to the surface had they not taken a side tunnel.  They had left the diamond dog’s excavations behind.  These tunnels were obviously the work of ponies.

        They passed ramps and stairways leading up, many with still readable inscriptions over them.

        “‘Faust and 14th’?” asked Shadow.  “What does that mean?”

        Silver pointed to another stairway.  “This one says ‘16th and Zacherle.’  I think they’re street addresses.”

        The came to a wide door in the side of the tunnel.  The words ‘Gaze Manor - Deliveries’ over the door glowed with bioluminescence.  The ponies could make out the glow over several more doorways further up the tunnel.

        Shadow tried the door.  “Locked.  I wonder why.”

        “Privacy, obviously,” said Diamond.  “This tunnel was open to the public, and you don’t want just anypony wandering around your downstairs.  But common ponies could deliver goods down here without bothering the family.  They’d just need a servant to let them in.”

        Silver nodded.  “This used to be an upscale neighborhood.”

        “Our kind of ponies,” agreed Diamond.  “Still, if it’s important enough to lock, then I want to see what’s inside.”

        Holding her tiara in her mouth, Diamond inserted one tip into the keyhole and began to play with the lock.

        “You can pick locks?” exclaimed Shadow.

        Silver nodded.  “She taught herself how to do it.  Her dad keeps everything in the house locked up.”

       While Diamond worked Quiz opened her eyes and looked up.  “Oh, dear.  Have I been asleep?”

        Shadow laughed.  “No, you were just resting your eyes.  Don’t you remember, you were just telling us all about the stonework in this tunnel.”

        “I was… talking to you?”

        “I particularly liked your social commentary,” said Shadow.  “You were observing how the city didn’t use the glowy lichens for the public signs, but the rich showoffs used them over all their doors.”

        “Hay!” cried Silver.  “I want a glowy sign over my door.”

        “I remember nothing of… oh.  You are teasing me, Shadow.”

        “I would never tease you, Quizzie,” said Shadow.  “I think you were entitled to the rest.  You should always give yourself a little break after every time you save everypony’s lives.”

        “I often have difficulty taking you seriously, Shadow.”  Quiz let herself slid off Shadow’s back.  She’d finally decided this was easier than waiting for him to agree to let her down.

There was a click, and Diamond triumphantly cried, “Viola!”  She opened the door and entered, and immediately began to complain.

“Oh, man!  It’s empty.  This place is so boring.”

“There’s something in the corner,” said Silver, as she followed Diamond inside.  She went to examine it.  “It’s wood, some kind of cover… uh oh.”

Silver had stepped onto the wooden disc, and it began to creak and sag.

“Silvy, very carefully retrace your steps and back off of that thing,” said Shadow.  He crouched and spread his wings, ready to leap out and catch her.  It wasn’t necessary.  The wood held.  Shadow folded his wings again, and tried not to let the fillies see him wince.

“What is that?” gasped Silver.  “What did I almost fall into?”

“I think it is a well cover,” said Quiz.  

“And we don’t have any rope to fish you out, so watch your step next time!” cried Diamond, indignantly.  She trotted over to give Silver a poke on the shoulder.  “With our luck that hole is bottomless.  Anyway, this place is dullsville.  Let’s get out of here.”

There was a wooden staircase going up, but it looked even less sturdy than the well cover.  The only other exit, besides the way they had come in, was a rectangular hole in the floor.  There was a tunnel below it.

“This looks interesting,” said Shadow, hopping down the hole.  “There’s another sign.  And some arrows.  One way goes to ‘Darkstone Manor’ and the other goes to ‘physical plant.’”

“What’s a physical plant?” asked Silver.

“Well, we can either go that way and find out, or go the other way and see another empty basement,” said Diamond.  “Sounds like a no-brainer to me.”

Shadow helped the three fillies down, and they set off to find the physical plant.  Some way down the tunnel it occurred to Shadow that they could have locked the delivery door behind them to throw the diamond dogs off their trail.  By then they had gone too far to backtrack.


#


Daggett woke up with a splitting headache.  This did not surprise him; he’d had the headache since Bowser had sent him on this mission, and that was only partially because it all began with Bowser punching him in the face.  If the headache had gone away, now that would have been surprising.

He was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, with his arms tied behind his back, and his back to his two companions.  He tried to move, and found that he was bound at the wrists to Alpha and Digger.  Any movement would require the three of them to work with a reasonable amount of coordination.  Daggett knew this was expecting much too much.

Daggett  sat facing the vault door.   The dragon trapped inside roared, then a layer of frost grew across the door.  Then something very angry slammed against the door.  From the sound of the impact Daggett expected the crash to shake the door, the wall, and the rest of the room.  It didn’t.

“I think my cold breath is making the metal brittle,” called Drago.  “Hang on, kids.  I’ll be able to smash my way out soon.  Well, soon-ish, I think.”

“Take your time, Mr. Drago,” Pip called back.  “We have everything under control out here.”

“Well, who would have guessed it?” commented Shady.  “It looks like we could have saved ourselves a whole lot of trouble if we’d just let the children beat up the diamond dogs hours ago.”

“Shhhh!” hissed Fluttershy.  “We still shouldn’t be encouraging this, Shady.”

There was another roar, and more frost, and another crash, and no shaking whatsoever.

Dinky stepped close to the diamond dogs, and spoke softly.  “He will get out, eventually.  And you probably don’t want to be still sitting here, all tied up, when the angry dragon gets loose.”

Daggett gulped.  Alpha and Digger began to whimper.

“What was that, Muffin?” shouted Derpy.  “I can’t hear you.  Are those rotten dogs trying something?!  If they do anything I’ll tear them to pieces!!!”

“It’s okay, Momma.  They’re behaving themselves,” called Dinky.  Then she whispered to the diamond dogs, “Oh, and if you somehow think you can reason with the dragon, remember that you’ll also have to deal with my mother.”

The diamond dogs shuddered.

“But you do have a choice,” continued Dinky.  “We could let you go.  You would just have to do a little favor for us first.”

Dinky tried to give Daggett her most adorable smile, but she just wasn’t feeling adorable at that moment and it came off as a malicious leer.


#


Reader crept quietly into the Gaze Manor cellar, and waited for the sound of the little ponies walking away to fade before entering the tunnel to follow them.  Scud and Corso followed. 

“The foolish ponies left the door unlocked behind them,” chortled Reader.  “Better yet, they are headed for the physical plant.  They are going right where I want them!”

Scud scratched his head.  “Reader, I don’t think this is the first time you have said the ponies were right where you wanted them.”

“But this time will be different.  We have them now!”

“You have said that before, too,” said Corso.

“Oh, shut up, both of you!”

> Chapter 15  Good Dogs/Bad Dogs
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom



Chapter 15  Good Dogs/Bad Dogs



        
        Quiz and her companions followed the tunnel until it ended at another room.  This room dwarfed the manor basement the ponies had just left.  More tunnels entered from all around the walls.  Most of them were identical to the one the ponies had just used, though others were just round holes that were barely large enough for a foal to walk upright inside.

        “Are these the plants this place is named after?” asked Diamond Tiara.  Vines and tree roots covered the ceiling.

        “That is not what ‘physical plant’ means,” said Quiz.

        “Whatever.  This place is gross.  There’s green stuff staining the floor.”

        “We must be close to the surface,” said Shadow.  He watched Quiz critically, but she showed no signs of becoming ill again.  She even used her horn for light, and there was none of the green tinge.  It glowed a beige, which for Quiz was a healthy glow.

        “Wow, the Forest must have completely taken over the top of this building,” said Silver Spoon.  “I hope there’s more holding the roof up than just tree roots!”

        “We shouldn’t stay here long,” agreed Shadow.

        “Oh, no, you can’t be thinking of leaving already!”  There was a familiar, obnoxious laugh.  “Not when you have finally reached the place we have been herding you to all night.  You must first at least take a look at the things we want to show you.”

        Quiz turned to the three diamond dogs, who had followed them into the room.

        “Hello, again, Mr. Reader.”


#


        “Trolls?”

        “They prefer natural caverns.  Our tunnels are a bit cramped for even the smallest of them.”

        “Umber hulks?”

        “Those rock-eaters stay deep in the ground.  If one does come up to our level we chase it away.”

        “Bugbears?”

        “Which bugbears?” asked Indy.  “The tall, hairy goblin-things or the titan imprisoned in Tartarus?”

        Spike made a rude noise.  “Like I’m expecting to run into the big guy?  He’ll never escape from Tartarus.  I was asking about the oversized goblins.”

        “They have their own tunnel system.  If we ever burrow into each other’s tunnels by accident we close that up and dig elsewhere.  That’s just courteous.”  Indy shrugged.  “Really, Spike, you may trust Indy on this.  Our warrens are free of predators.  No monsters enjoy tangling with diamond dogs and so we are left alone.  Mostly.”

        “Oh?”  Spike arched the ridge over one eye.

        “Well, yes, there is one monster that is too stupid to know better than to nest in our tunnels,” admitted Indy.  “But they are rare, and we know how to deal with those pests.”

        “And what would that be?”

         “Giant centipedes!” yelled the diamond dog who had been scouting ahead.  He came sprinting back to the pack, with at least three of the colossal arthropodes charging up the tunnel right behind him.


#


There was another roar, and more frost formed on the vault door, swiftly followed by another mighty crash.  The door might have shaken a little bit this time. 

“I’m getting there, kids,” called Drago.  “Hang on a little longer.  I just need a moment to catch my breath.  My ice breath, that is.”

“Take your time, Mr. Drago,” answered Pipsqueak.  “We’re quite comfortable out here.”

“Gee, I bet the longer he’s trapped the angrier the dragon is going to get,” said Dinky.  

Daggett snapped at her.  “It does not matter.  We will not cooperate with you little ponies!”

“Now, don’t be hasty, Daggett,” said Digger.  “We might be willing to cooperate a little.”

Dinky leaned in and spoke softly.  She opened her eyes wide, and gave Daggett a tiny, little smile.  “We just want to help our friends.  Don’t you want to help us help our friends?”

“That sounds reasonable, Daggett,” said Alpha.

Daggett tensed, preparing to bite Dinky on the ear.  Then he looked her in the eyes, and Daggett sagged.  He couldn’t make himself do it.  But he couldn’t give in either.  “You will get no help from us.”

“Daggett, what are you thinking?” exclaimed Alpha.  “Are you really still trying to complete your mission for Chief Bowser?  Really?”  

“It isn’t as if Bowser will reward you,” added Digger.  “If you somehow succeeded now he would probably punch you on the nose for taking so long.  Then he would kick all of us.”

“Shut up, both of you!  It is not about Bowser’s orders anymore.  It has not been about Bowser’s orders for a long time!”

“Um...there is another thing, Daggett,” said Alpha.  “How are we going to get our gems back from the dragon?”

“Oh, I don’t think Drago’s going to give them back,” said Pip.  “Not even if you ask nicely.”

“Those were our only gems,” whined Digger.  “They were small, and not so shiney, but they were all we had.”

“You agreed to use the gems to bait the dragon into the vault,” insisted Daggett.  “You had to know you were donating them for my plan.”

“Yes, about your plan,” said Alpha.  “I have found a flaw in it.”

“How do you think I feel?  The little ponies have tied us with my own rope.  My Own Rope!”

“In all fairness, Mr. Diamond Dog, you were going to use the rope to tie us up,” Valory pointed out.

“I will not give in!” cried Daggett.  “I have been through too much to just surrender now.  I have been thwarted by that sarcastic pegasus nature lover, and by giant turtles, and clown faced spiders, and forest fires, and we only managed to get underground just before another bunch of pegasuses made it rain on us!  Rain that glows!  And, after all that, to finally be beaten by a bunch of meddling kids…”

“Twice!” exclaimed Pip.

“Shhh!” hissed Valory.  “He feels bad enough as is.  And we did run away the first time we beat them.”

Pip pouted.  “The grown-ups made us retreat.  We were winning!”

“It is too much!  Too… much…”  Daggett began to cry uncontrollably.

There was a long uncomfortable silence, interrupted by crashing sounds from the vault and some slight rattling noises from the vault door.  Finally, Angel went to Daggett and gently put a hoof on his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” she said.  “You tried too hard to catch us without hurting us.  You would have won, if you’d been willing to hurt us really badly.  But you didn’t want to do that.”

This little kindness was enough for Daggett to regain a small semblance of control.  He managed to choke out, between sobs, “Very well.  What do you want us to do?”

Dinky gave him a grin that lit up the room.  “We need you to show us where Bowser has taken our friends.”


#


Cheerilee’s class made good progress with the wagons.  Little ponies are deceptively strong, even young ones, and they are shaped perfectly for draft work in almost exactly the same way that diamond dogs aren’t.

They were hitched in teams of two, and Sweetie Belle was paired with Scootaloo.  She was not concentrating on her work.

“I wish Quiz would send me a Note,” she whined.  “I’m so worried about her.”

“Hay, that Reader character hasn’t brought her back,” answered Scootaloo.  “So he hasn’t caught her, right?  Think about it.  His job is to out-smart Quiz!  I almost feel sorry for him.”

This got a giggle out of Sweetie Belle,  but the mirth was short lived.  Lines of worry almost immediately furrowed her brow again.  “I’m just so frightened for her…”

Scootaloo gave up on trying to reassure her, and tried to change the subject instead.  “Is something on our cart snoring?  Or is that growling?”

“Let’s hope it’s snoring,” answered Sweetie Belle.  “And let’s try not to wake it...ugh!”

One of the wagon wheels struck something and stopped them, and the two fillies jerked hard against their harnesses.  Behind them, there were protests from the other foals, as they struggled to stop before hitting the wagons ahead of them.

        There was a snarl from something under the covers on Scootaloo and Sweetie’s cart.  Then there was a shuffling sound, as whatever it was apparently rolled over and resumed what was probably snoring.

“Oh, oh, let me help, let me help!” cried a diamond dog, running up to them.  He dove under the wagon.  A moment later he emerged, rolling a large rock with his nose.

“I got it, I got it.  It’s a big rock, but I got it.”  The dog stood, and kicked the rock aside.  “Rocks are fun to play with, but not so good for wheels.  You can start again now.  I got it.”

“Um… thanks?”  Scootaloo, leaned into her harness and they were underway again.  

The diamond dog trotted along beside them.  “Hi!  My name’s Seaver.  What are your names?”

The little diamond dog’s enthusiasm was almost overwhelming.  His goofy grin was the first genuinely friendly thing the ponies had seen from one of the dogs.  Scootaloo didn’t know what to make of him, and answered warily. 

“You can call me Scoot, I guess.  And this is Belle.”

“Those are nice names.  My name’s Seaver!”  He seemed to actually vibrate with joy, apparently just from being spoken to.

“Um… Hi?”

“Hi!!!”  Then Seaver cocked his head, and stared at the two ponies.   “Hey, you don’t look like you’re having fun.  Aren’t you  having fun?  I thought ponies like pulling carts and stuff.”

“Yeah, maybe, if it’s our choice,” grumbled Scootaloo.  “You guys didn’t give us any choice.  You didn’t even say ‘please.’”

“Oh.”  Seaver hung his head.  “I’m sorry.  But it’ll be all over soon.  Chief Bowser says as soon as we make our delivery he’s all done with you.  We’re almost there.”

“It’d be all over now if you’d let us go,” said Scootaloo, under her breath.

“What was that?”

“Never mind.  They’d never let you do that.  But what happens after Bowser’s all done with us?”

Seaver cocked his head again, then cocked it the other way.  “I don’t understand the question.”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes.  “Figures.”

“Don’t pick on him, Scoot,” said Sweetie Belle.  “Seaver, excuse me for asking, but why are you with Bowser’s gang?  You seem kind of nice.”

Seaver’s face lit up, and he clapped his paws happily.  “Gee thanks!  I try to be a good dog, I really, really do!”

“Then why are you with Bowser?” repeated Sweetie.

“Oh, Chief Bowser is the Chief, so doing what he tells me must be the right thing, right?”  The fillies noticed Seaver’s tail for the first time.  He was wagging it so fast it blurred.  “Oh, oh, good story.  Seaver joined Chief Bowser when, one day, the Chief pointed to me and said, ‘You, pick up that stack of nets and follow us.’  I’ve been carrying things to the old tunnels for the Chief ever since.  Isn’t that cool?  Chief Bowser picked me!”

Scootaloo and Sweetie exchanged a look.  It seemed that the only tactful response was silence.

A much larger diamond dog approached, and swatted Seaver hard on the back of the head.  “Seaver, what were you told about talking to the ponies?”

Seaver cringed.  “You said not to do it, Riff Raff.”

“And what are you doing?” growled Riff Raff.

“Oh, I was just talking to these nice ponies… oh.  Oh, I see.  Sorry.”

Riff Raff glared at Seaver.  “Go to the end of the line.  The littlest ponies are falling behind, push their wagon until they catch up.  And do not talk to them!”

"Yes, Riff Raff.  Yes, Sir.”  Seaver hurried away.

Riff Raff leaned over Scootaloo and Sweetie.  He did not have a goofy grin, and his tail was most decidedly not wagging.  “Seaver is stupid, but he is useful when he is kept busy.  Most of the rest of the pack are not stupid.  We know that being a ‘good dog’ like that weakling Indy is not how you earn many, many gems.  Do not try to talk any of us into letting you go.  Do not think about it.  You could get your ears bitten off that way.  Just pull your wagon.”

The two fillies pushed a little harder against their harnesses.


#


“Form a circle, and point your torches outward,” ordered Indy.  “Every dog light your torch.  You all know the drill.”

They did indeed.  The diamond dogs were already getting into position before Indy spoke.  

The centipedes stopped just out of the reach of any extended torch, though the dogs poked their torches at them anyway.  They were gigantic; twice the width of the largest diamond dog, and so long that the torch light did not reveal their total length.  Any one of them could easily snatch up a diamond dog and carry him away in their mandibles.

“‘Toven, move to the center, keep Spike safe,” cried Indy.

“Hey, I’m good,” said Spike.  He spat out a little gout of green flame.

“And all of you, remember to look up.  The centipedes can strike from the ceiling… yipe!”

A fourth centipede reached down from the tunnel roof and grabbed Indy.  It ran away with him, while still clinging from the ceiling.

‘Toven, Spike, and several of the dogs gave chase.


#


“To begin, Quizzical, tell me what a ‘physical plant’ is,” demanded Reader.  “I suspect you know.”

Quiz shrugged.  “It is a central location that provides maintenance and utilities to several buildings.  This place specialized in steam heating, I think.”

Reader frowned.  “I was expecting a less… mundane answer.”

“Of course you were, Mr. Reader.”

“You aren’t telling me all you know,” snapped Reader.  He pointed to an inscription over the tunnel they had all entered through.  “‘Gold Street and Environs’?  What is that?”

“That is a steam tunnel,” answered Quiz.  “They are all labeled with the locations they served.  The steam piped through that one heated the homes of wealthy ponies who lived on Gold street.”

Reader looked at Quiz as if she had grown a second head.  “That cannot be all there is to it.  What does this inscription mean?”  Reader pointed to one of the small round openings.

“‘Cold Inlet’?  I believe there was once a pipe running through there that brought cold water to the boilers.”

Reader pointed again.  “And this one?”

“‘Condenser Overflow’?  I am unfamiliar with the engineering, but I would guess when usage was low some steam was condensed and the water flowed to a containment tank down a pipe that used to be there.”

“And this one?”  Reader was sounding increasingly desperate. 

“‘Overflow Return’?  That was probably for condensed water to flow back to the boiler when needed.”

Scud scratched his head.  “I don’t understand a thing she’s saying.”

“That is because she is lying!” yelled Reader.  “You are making all this up. Quizzical Greystone!  These are extraordinary things.  Stop trying to make them all sound ordinary!  There are clues to the Lost City’s secrets here, and you will share them with me now, if you value your health, and the safety of your friends!”

“Actually, Reader, Quizzie doesn’t have to tell you anything,” said Shadow.  “You don’t have us trapped you know.  There are a lot of exits from this room.”

“Yes, and most of the tunnels have collapsed, or dead end, or have locked doors.  You do not know which are clear.  We do, we have been exploring here for a long time.  Flee from us now and you most likely will not get far.”

“Maybe I feel lucky.”  Shadow grinned.

While Reader and Shadow spoke, Quiz whispered to Diamond Tiara.  “I have a plan, and Shadow will object as it places me at some peril.  So I am asking for your help instead, Diamond.”

Diamond raised an eyebrow and smirked.  “Hmmm?  You have me fascinated.  Please continue.”

“I need some time alone with Mr. Reader.  Could you lead the other two dogs away from us?”

“I have an idea of how to do that, yeah.  Sounds like fun.”

“Good.  Then take your cue from me, it should be obvious.”  Quiz then spoke loudly.  “Very well, Mr. Reader.  I will tell you everything I know.  I promise it will be enlightening.  But before I will tell you anything you must first catch me.”

Quiz then ran, dodged around Reader, and galloped back up the tunnel they had just come down.


#


“We cannot exactly tell you where your friends are,” squeaked Alpha.

Pip pressed the tip of his stick against Alpha’s nose.  “Don’t try to weasel out of this, you!  You said you’d cooperate.”

“What was that, kids?” called Derpy.  “Are the diamond dogs causing trouble?  They better not be causing any trouble!”

“No, Momma,” answered Dinky.  “They’re no trouble at all.”

“Let me finish, let me finish,” protested Alpha.  “We can’t tell you exactly where they are because we don’t know.  But we do know where they are going.”

“They should be there soon,” added Digger.  “They have to be there to meet Bowser’s customer by moon set.”

“So, you’ll tell us how to get there?” asked Dinky.

“No, that won’t work,” said Daggett.

Pip aimed his stick at Daggett’s throat.  “Careful, Dog.  You don’t want to give us any answers we don’t like!”

“Pip, you need to calm down a little,” said Valory.  “And stop abusing the prisoners.”

“I will explain, if you’ll let me,” growled Daggett.  “There are no good tunnels from here, this building is not connected to any of them.  You will have to go to the surface, and that makes giving you directions complicated.”

“Why is that complicated?” asked Angel.

“The Forest has completely reclaimed the city.  There is nothing but ruins and rubble fields and trees.  A very, very, very dense forest of trees.  We cannot exactly give you street directions.”

“We are close to where all the water tunnels meet.  We could send them there,” suggested Alpha.  “The tunnels are easy to follow from there.”

“The stairs are gone,” said Daggett.  “The foals would have to shimmy down vines to reach the tunnels.”

“That sounds like fun,” said Pip.

“It’s much less fun than it sounds,” said Daggett.  

“We could send them to Darkstone Center,” offered Digger.  “That has tunnels that connect to everything.”

“That’s on the other side of town, how is trying to send them there an improvement?” snapped Daggett.

“Um….  It isn’t,” admitted Digger.

“Daggett is right,” said Alpha.  “The only way to get there is on the surface.  Without help, you kids will be lost in the Forest in about five minutes.”

“We might not get lost,” said Angel.  “We don’t have Dr. Stalker leading us anymore.”

“What was that?” called Shady.  “I heard my name.  Do you need something, children?”

“No, Shady,” answered Angel.  “Never mind.”

“Stop making excuses!” demanded Pip.  “We beat you, so you have to help us.”  He raised his stick for emphasis, but the gesture was ruined when he lost his grip and the stick went flying off into a corner.

“Pip, really, take a deep breath and settle down,” said Dinky.

“We are not making excuses, we are explaining things,” protested Daggett.  “We cannot tell you how to get to your friends…”

“But you said you would!” cried Pip.

“... we will have to guide you there personally,” Daggett finished.

“Oh.”

While the foals considered this, Drago crashed against the vault door once again.  The effect on the door was minute. “Wow, I’m going to need a quick energy snack.”  They could hear the sound of something crunching.

“Is that dragon eating our gems?” asked  Alpha.  “That dragon is eating our gems!”

“Oh, shut up,” said Daggett.  “So, kids, are you ready to go?  We can get underway as soon as you untie us.”

“Muffin, did that mangy mutt say something about getting untied?” shouted Derpy.  “Don’t you let them get away with that!  And don’t go anywhere.  Promise me you’ll stay put until we get out.”

“Yes, Momma, we promise,” called Dinky.  Then she blanched with shock.  “Oh, my gosh, I just lied to my mother!”

The foals reacted with stunned silence.  Angel spoke first.  “We’re planning to be very bad, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, we’re all gonna get grounded,” said Pip.  “But it will be worth it.  We’re going to rescue our friends and save the day!”

“I don’t think I can do this,” said Angel.  “I’ve never disobeyed an adult like this…”

“Seriously?” exclaimed Daggett.  “You are more worried about being bad children than you are about confronting Bowser and his pack?!”

“Hush, Daggett,” chidded Digger.  “Let the kids work out their issues.”

“We’re all good kids, Angel,” said Valory.  “It goes against my nature, too.  But we’re going to misbehave.  It’s for a good cause.”

“How are you going to explain this to your parents?  How am I going to explain this to the Princesses?!” cried Angel.  “And this is crazy!  We have to be completely goonie to do this.”

“Yep,” said Pip.  “And we’re still going to do it.  And I hope you’ll come along, because we’ve been through everything together and we should stick together.  And you’ve been part of everything.   You may go home to the Palace in Canterlot, but tonight you are just as goonie as the rest of us.”

Angel considered Pip’s words quietly.  Finally, she said softly.  “Okay.  I’m sticking with you guys.  Ambush Raiders, huzzah.”

This called for a cheer.  Unfortunately, they couldn’t without alerting the adults that something was up, so that would have to wait until later.

“Oh, good, that’s settled,” grumbled Daggett.  “We can get underway, and get this over with.  Finally.  You just have to untie us.”

“Yeah, about that,” said Dinky.  “I’m afraid we are going to have to make one more imposition on you guys.”


#


Reader ran after Quiz.  Scud and Corso moved to follow, but Diamond Tiara stepped into their path.

“Not so fast, buster!”

Corso sneered,  “Get out of the way, little brat, or you’ll get hurt!”

“I don’t thinks so,” Diamond sneered back.  Then she kicked Corso on the shin.

“Ouch!  Why you little…”  Before Corso could finish Diamond kicked him on the other shin.

“Owww!  You will pay for that!  I will tear your ears off and force you to eat them!”

“You can try,” laughed Diamond.  She ran, and hopped into the opening labeled ‘Condenser Overflow.’  She shouted to the other ponies, “Come on, guys!  This way.”

“Di, we have to follow Quizzie!” called Shadow.

“No, we have to run the other way!  Come on!  Oh, and try to kick them again as you run by.”

Shadow didn’t like the idea, but it sounded as if Diamond knew what she was doing.  Silver spoon was already right behind Diamond, so Shadow ran to join them.  He managed to step on Corso’s foot as he slipped past.

Corso charged after them.

“Corso, we have to follow Reader!” called Scud.

“No!” Corso yelled back.  “I will catch the little pink monster.  Then I will rip off her tail and choke her with it!”

He climbed into the opening.  After a moment, Scud shrugged, and climbed in after him.

“Di, what are we doing?” asked Shadow.  He had to shout to be heard over the threats Corso was screaming.

“Using the only opening that we know has a way out,” Diamond answered.  “You heard Quiz.  The overflow pipe and the overflow return pipe both had to end in the same place, right?”

“So, we’re going to end up in a big water tank, and drown?” cried Silver.

They did soon end up in a big water tank, but it was empty.  They got there well ahead of the diamond dogs, who could barely fit into the opening, and had to crawl along on their bellies.  Shadow immediately went to the overflow return to exit, but the fillies just stood watching the other opening.  They were grinning.

“Girls?  What are you doing?”

“When his he pops his head out it’ll be on just the right level,” said Silver.  “Move number eight?”

Diamond nodded, and laughed.  “That will be perfect.”

The fillies took their places on opposite sides of the opening.  Eventually, Corso came thundering to the end and began to pull himself out of the hole.  He screamed at Diamond, “You are doomed now, bratty pony!  I will skin you and make a hat from your pelt, and mail the rest of you to your mother!”

With just a nod to each other, the fillies skipped, jumped, hopped, pirouetted, then leapt together, spinning in mid leap.  Their rear hooves would have met perfectly, had not Corso’s head been in the way.

Corso’s eyes crossed, then closed, and he went limp.  His tongue hung out of his mouth, and he began to drool.

They could hear Scud’s muffled cries.  “Corso?  Why have you stopped?  Move out of the way.  I can’t back out without getting stuck.  Corso, please move!”

Shadow stared.  “How did you do that?”

“Dance class,” said Diamond.  “Four years of ballet.”

“Two years of modern dance, two years of body movement…”

“Three years of cheerleading, a year of tap…”

“And almost a week of self defense, before we were kicked out.”  Silver giggled.

“That was a misunderstanding,” groused Diamond.  “Our jerky instructor thought we were ‘disrespecting the martial arts’ or some such nonsense.”

Shadow opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t manage to say a single word.

“Shouldn’t we catch up with Quiz?” asked Silver.

“Yeah,” agreed Diamond.  “She’s probably done with Reader by now.”


#


“Let Indy go, you stupid bug!”

Half of Indy’s pack held off the three centipedes on the floor, while the other half pursued the centipede which was carrying Indy away.

“We could easily force it to drop Indy,” said ‘Toven, waving his torch in frustration.  “If we could just catch up.”

But the diamond dogs failed to gain any ground, and might have been falling a little behind.

“Indy needs fire to fight the monster, but he has dropped his torch.”

“I have an idea, and it’s just crazy enough to work,” said Spike.  He shouted down the tunnel, “Indy, can you get a hand free?”

“Indy needs all four limbs to hold the stupid bug’s mandibles open!  Indy wants very, very badly to keep the stupid bug’s mandibles open!”

“Try bracing your shoulder against one,” suggested Spike.

“Err!”  There were more inarticulate exclamations, as Indy worked to shift position.  “Argh!  Yes, Indy has a paw free now.  But it does no good.  Indy cannot punch the stupid bug, or poke it in the eye.  The angle is all wrong!”

“No, that’s good,” called Spike.  “Now you can catch me!”

“What?!”

“‘Toven, throw me to Indy,” ordered Spike.

“What?!!”

“I want you to fling me!”

“That is crazy!”

Spike nodded.  “I know.  I just said so.  Now, hurry up before I lose my nerve.”

‘Toven cupped Spike in one huge paw, and cocked his arm.  Then he stopped.  “It is not an easy throw.  Should I put a little spiral on Spike?”

“Oh, gee, only if you want me to land dizzy and sick to my stomach!  Just throw me.”

“Very well.  Indy, here comes Spike.  Please don’t drop him.”

“Right!  Please don’t drop meeeeeeeeee!”

It was a very difficult shot, against a swiftly moving target and with an irregularly balance projectile that was definitely never meant to be thrown.  ‘Thoven hit Indy perfectly on his outstretched paw.

Indy bobbled the catch.  Spike bounced off his palm.  Then again.  Then a third time.  Finally, Indy managed to draw Spike in and hold him securely against his chest.

“Now, Spike, use your fire breath!  Now!”  Indy tried to aim Spike at the centipede’s face.

“Okay.  Um… Here’s… I mean, this is…  er,  in your...dang it!  I had a great action hero one-liner all picked out, and now I forgot it!”

“Spike!  The fire!  Please!”

“Alright, fine.”  Green fire wreathed the centipede’s head.  It shrieked, or as close to a shriek as a centipede is capable, dropped Indy and Spike, and fled.

Spike landed safely in Indy’s lap.  Indy hit the floor considerably harder.

“That… that… that…” gasped Indy.  The other dogs soon arrived to help him to his feet, and he was soon able to catch his breath.  “That was crazy!  Spike is insane.  Extraordinary, but insane.”

“Hey, anything for a bud,” said Spike.  “But, maybe we shouldn’t tell anyone we did that.  I don’t think I want to make it a habit.”


#


“This is humiliating!” complained Daggett.  “Leashed!  And with my own rope.”

        As the three diamond dogs led the little ponies through the Forest, they in turn were being led with ropes tied around their necks.

        “I’m sorry, Mr, Daggett, but you know we can’t quite trust you yet,” said Pip.  “The loops are comfortable, aren’t they?  The knots won’t get tight unless you try to run.”

        “Leashed!” repeated Daggett.  “What next?  Will you want us to play fetch?”

        “Don’t think of yourselves as pets,” said Valory.  “You’re our prisoners.  Since you were defeated fair and square there isn’t any dishonor in that.”

        “I am not comforted.”

        It was slow going, with much of the rubble from the collapsed buildings too difficult for the small ponies to climb over.  Even where there had once been paved streets the undergrowth was thick, and the trees grew close together.  It was a struggle to keep the ropes from tangling.

        “Daggett, look.” Digger had found a rusted iron grate, half covered by tree roots.  “If we could get to the tunnels under here things would go much more smoothly.”

        The diamond dogs tried to remove the grate, but it would not budge.  “Would it help if we hitched the ponies to it and had them pull?” asked Alpha.  

        “Then we would see how they like it,” grumbled Daggett, under his breath.  Then aloud he said “That would not make any difference.  This thing has fused with the trees.  It isn’t going anywhere.”

        Suddenly, Digger shushed them.  He cocked his head, and one ear twitched.  “I hear voices.”


#


        Quiz led Reader back to the cellar of the Gaze Manor.  He nearly caught her, as she had trouble climbing out of the steam tunnel with no one to give her a boost.  But Quiz made it.  She went to one corner, and turned to face Reader.

        “No more games, Quizzical!  Tell me what I want to know!”

        “I apologize, Mr. Reader, but I cannot tell you that.  Not honestly.  I will instead tell you the truth.”

        “I said no more games!  Tell me now!”

        “Yes, Mr. Reader.  Once I have caught my breath.”  Quiz retreated a step, and put one rear hoof on the wooden well cover.  The wood creaked.  “Your problem is a basic misunderstanding of how cities die.  You hear the phrase ‘lost city’ and your imagination tells you that the inhabitants must have mysteriously vanished.  Nothing could be further from the truth.”

        “I don’t understand.  What happened here, then?”

        “The residents moved away,” said Quiz.  “The city had grown here because the Royal Pony Sisters built their castle here.  Ponies came to serve them, and to work in the government.  When Princess Celestia abandoned the castle and moved the capital to Canterlot most ponies moved there as well.  Others stayed a while longer.  None of this happened overnight.  You imagine everypony suddenly fled, but that is a ridiculous thing to imagine.  Leaving the city was orderly.  They moved away just as ponies do when moving to a new home.”

        “But this is a Lost City!”  Reader was practically foaming at the mouth.  “It is filled with secrets, with mysteries…”

        “Not really,” said Quiz.  “The ponies who lived here were no different than ponies living in any city.  Actually, aside from being completely empty, this city is much like all the other cities in Equestria.”

        “But, we have been hunting for so long!  There has to be something worth finding!”

        Quiz shook her head.  “That is also a ridiculous thing to imagine.  Everypony packed their belongings and took them to their new homes.  Look around, Mr. Reader.  They took the pipes from their plumbing.  There was an iron grate over that steam tunnel, the Gaze family must have taken it for scrap metal generations ago.  The Everfree Forest has destroyed all that was on the surface, but the stone foundations survive.  That is all you have found.  The basements.  If you keep looking perhaps you will find a carton of old Hearth’s Warming decorations, or a box of clothes that no longer fit some family’s foals.  But that is all you will find.”

        “No!”  Foam really was dribbling from the corner of Reader’s mouth.  “You’re lying!  Stop lying to me!  We found a lost city, now we get find it’s treasures!”

        Reader advanced on Quiz, and Quiz retreated.  As she walked backwards over the well cover the wood groaned and sagged.

        “I did warn you that I could not tell you what you wanted to hear, Mr. Reader.  It was foolish of you to expect otherwise.”

        Quiz continued to retreat from Reader.  She was now on solid floor again, but she was backed tightly into the corner.  Reader had her trapped.

        “Do not insult me and stop toying with me, Quizzical Greystone!”  Reader held his arms up, fists clenched.  “Do not tell me I have been searching for nothing!  I can’t have been searching for nothing!”

        “Actually, you could,” said Quiz.  “Because you are an idiot.”

        “How dare you!”  Reader charged.

        He took one step onto the well cover, and with a crack he disappeared.

        There was a splash from far below.

        “What a depressingly stupid dog,” said Diamond, from the steam tunnel opening.

        Quiz stepped carefully around the new hole in the floor.  “How long have you been listening?”

        “Long enough to figure out your plan,” said Shadow.  “And long enough to hear the bad news.  So, no hidden temples?  No golden idols?”

        “No forgotten libraries?” asked Silver.

        “No fabulous treasure hoards?” Diamond sounded heartbroken.

        Quiz shook her head.  “But, on the positive side, it is unlikely there are any traps with rolling boulders.”

        “Holy… what is that stink?” exclaimed Diamond.

        Quiz wrinkled her nose.  “Oh, dear.  What I thought was a well appears to be a septic tank.  Something has preserved its foulness for all these years, and Mr. Reader has broken through its crust.”

        They hurried to leave as the odor rose from the hole.  But they paused long enough to relock the door.





> Chapter 16  Interesting Questions
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom



Chapter 16  Interesting Questions




        “Leave it to Quiz-ik-al to make a lost city boring,” grumbled Diamond Tiara.

        “All I did was see the city realistically, as it is,” protested Quiz.  “I also do not understand why you now think it is boring.  I find it quite interesting.  For example, there is this tunnel we are using now.  The city’s inhabitants used underground boulevards such as this to get about.  Compare this with the city planners of Canterlot who have included no underground features like this.  Perhaps the practice was abandoned because Princess Celestia desired to stay in the sunshine…”

        “I rest my case,” groaned Diamond.  “Boring.”

        “I thought we have all had quite enough excitement of late,” replied Quiz.  “I should have thought better.”

        “There’s no such thing as too much excitement, Quizzie,” laughed Shadow.

        “We shall have to agree to disagree,” said Quiz.  “But if you are growing restless may I point out that we should soon have to deal with Chief Bowser.  You will find the Chief very accommodating.  He will be delighted to endanger our lives in exciting ways.”

        Quiz did not laugh at her own joke, though all the rest of them did.

        “So, what bores you, Quizzie?” asked Shadow.

        “Hmmm?” Quiz frowned.  “That is an interesting question, one I have never considered before…”

        There was a long pause.

        “Quizzie?”
        
        “I am still contemplating your question, Shadow.”

        “Oh, come on!” gasped Shadow.  “Something bores all of us.  It usually leaps right to mind.”

        Quiz shook her head.  “Nothing occurs to me.”

        “That can’t be right,” snapped Diamond Tiara.  “You hang out with the Cutie Mark Catastrophes!  That’s got to get boring.”

        “No, not at all,” answered Quiz.  “Since moving to Ponyville I have been exposed to many dubious varieties of ‘fun,’ and my feelings about that have ranged from puzzled to terrified.  But bored?  No, never.”

        “Don’t you have a least favorite subject in school?”

        “Quiz does extra credit homework for fun, Shadow,” said Silver.  “For all subjects.”

        “What about chores?  You must have at least one you can’t stand.”

        “I am not bothered by any task I am asked to do.”

        “Some ponies take advantage of her,” said Silver, very softly.  “And ask Quiz to do work they don’t want to do.  She’ll do it if you ask her nicely.”

        “You could probably get her to take care of those grubs for you, Shadow,” snickered Diamond.

        “Actually, cataloguing specimens does sound interesting…”

        Diamond interrupted Quiz with a derisive snort that echoed through the tunnel.  “If you took Quiz to a beach she’d get a pair of tweezers and start counting the sand!”

        “I would not,” objected Quiz.  “I could not ever finish such a task.  I do hate to leave anything unfinished.”

        Shadow stared at Quiz.  “That’s the only reason you wouldn’t count the sand?”

        “It is the first reason that comes to mind,” answered Quiz.

        “So…” began Shadow, incredulously.  “So nothing ever bores you, Quizzie?”

        “Nothing that I can recall, no.”

        Diamond Tiara laughed so hard she had to put a hoof against a wall to keep from stumbling.  “I love it!  The secret to never being bored is to be boring!”

        “This is actually quite interesting,” mused Quiz.  She completely ignored Diamond.  “I shall have to make a note of this...um, I will do that later, Shadow.”

        “Shhhhh!”  Shadow suddenly hissed, and pointed.

        Not far up the tunnel someone, or something, was shining a light down through a grate on the ceiling.

“Di, Silvy, you stay here,” whispered Shadow.  “Quizzie and I will sneak up to take a look… Quizzie!”  He finished in a stage whisper.  “What are you doing.”

Quiz casually walked up to the light.  She stopped under it and looked up.  “Hello?”

“Hi, Quiz!” 

The bright, cheerful voice calling to them from above was not the last thing the foals expected to hear, but it was on the list of the top five.

“Dinky?  I thought I recognized your golden magic aura,” said Quiz.  “It is good to see you are free and safe.  You are free and safe, correct?”

“Oh, sure, we’re fine.  It’s good to see you, too.”

“I have so many questions, I do not know what to ask first...”

“Hay, didn’t you escape with my dad and some adults?”  Shadow stalked into the light Dinky was casting.   “My dad should have led you back to Ponyville by now.  Where is my dad, anyway?  Did you lose my dad someplace in the Forest?!”

“Oh, no, we left them someplace safe,” called Pip.  Then he was overcome with a fit of the giggles.  “Someplace safe.  That’s funny!”

“Good one, Pip,” said Valory.

“It’s a long story,” said Dinky.  “But a good story, and it has a good ending.  We’ll tell you all about it when we can meet up.”

“I can imagine,” grumbled Shadow.

“Is it now safe to cast magic?” asked Quiz.

“Oh, yeah, it feels a lot better up here,” answered Dinky.  “Before it felt like being locked in a little closet with the heat turned up.  Now it feels more like a mildy humid day.  The air’s a lot clearer.”

Angel climbed onto the grate.  “Quiz?  Dinky’s right, but there’s still a lot of extra magic in the air.  It’s enough to throw your control off, but if you stick to spells you know well and don’t try anything fancy nothing should go too terribly badly wrong.”

“Thank you, Angel.  I will exercise caution.”

“Let me get this straight,” snapped Diamond.  “You little kids are alone up there?”

“No, we have our prisoners with us,” said Valory.

“Prisoners?  Oh, dear.  Oh, dear, dear, dear…”

“Yes, Miss Quizzical, and they’re taking us where we can intercept Bowser and rescue everypony!” cried Pip.  “We’re the Ambush Raiders!  Huzzah!”

“Huzzah!”

“Oh, dear.  Oh, dear, dear, dear.”

“It’s another long story,” said Dinky.  “I can hardly wait to tell you all about it!  But, yeah, we’re off to save the day.  Isn’t that exciting?”

“‘Exciting’ is one of many words that come to mind,” answered Quiz.

“Can your… prisoners?  Can they give us directions, too?” asked Shadow.

“Certainly,” said Daggett.  He leaned over the grate, next to Dinky.  “Tell me, what is the last inscription you have seen?”

“We are just past the basement entrance to Darkstone Manor,” replied Quiz.

“Excellent!” called Daggett.  “The tunnel you are in takes you directly there.  Follow it to the end.  You will find two large stairways.  One is labeled ‘Darkstone Center’ and the other is ‘Princesses Park.’  You want the Park.  At the top of the stairs are many ways up, find the one with the inscription ‘Bareback Falls.’  You will be at your destination.  But beware!  The landing zone is guarded.  There will be only two or three dogs there, as Bowser needs all the rest to move his remaining product.  But the the guards will be there.  There are also many dangerous monsters.  They are caged, but they are still dangerous.  And when the customer arrives he will have many minions with him, and they are not nice ponies!  Be very careful.”

“Thank you Mr. … Diamond Dog prisoner.”

“It is my honor to assist the Clever Pony,” said Daggett.  “Now go.  You must hurry.”

“Yes, I shall make haste.”  Quiz headed up the tunnel at a gallop.

“Quiz, wait for us!” cried Shadow, as he and the fillies ran to catch Quiz.

Dinky watched through the grate, until the beige light from Quiz’s horn disappeared.  She asked Daggett, “Does this mean they’ll get ahead of us?  Is there any way to get down to that tunnel?”

“Oh, there are many entrances… oww!” began Digger, before Daggett silenced him with a surreptitious kick.

“Most of the stairs have fallen,” said Daggett.  “We would waste too much time searching for a safe way down.  It is best if we just continue as we have been going.”

“Fine,” snapped Pip.  “But you have to get us there before Miss Quizzical gets into trouble!”

“Of course,” said Daggett, innocently.


	#


“Quiz, why are we running?” cried Silver.

“To prevent the over-excited foals from getting into trouble,” answered Quiz.  “Horrible, horrible trouble.  The only way to prevent a catastrophe is if we get there and deal with the situation first.”

The four little ponies all ran a little faster.


	#


“Why did you kick me?” whispered Digger, as he limped along beside Daggett.  “And why did you lie?  We have been using that tunnel for generations.  There are many, many easy entrances.”

“You heard them,” hissed Daggett.  “Our little ‘Ambush Raiders’ will cry ‘Huzzah!’ and charge right at Bowser’s pack.  Then we get to watch as horrible, horrible things happen to them.  That is a bit much, even for me.”

Digger shuddered so hard the pile of broken stones he was standing on clattered.  “I cannot get mad enough at children to allow that, not even these children.  But what do we do?”

“Did you not hear?” hissed Daggett.  “The other little pony, the one we sent ahead, is the Quizzical.  She is the clever pony that even Bowser worries about.  Let her get there first, while we stall the young ones.  We will take the long way there.  Perhaps we will throw in some unscheduled detours as well.”


#


The four foals peeked over the top of a ruined stairwell.  It had been a much quicker trip than Daggett had indicated, and Quiz and her companions now beheld the diamond dog’s “rendezvous point.”  

A tremendous swath of the Forest had been cleared.  Around the clearing’s perimeter were stacks of crates and sacks.  There also appeared to be huge pots of plants.  There were tall rectangular things, covered with cloth, that presumably held the caged monsters Daggett had warned them about. 

The clearing ran right up to the edge of the ravine that ringed the Castle Mount.  The ponies could just make out the silhouette of the Castle of the Two Pony Sister high above them.  A small brook flowed over the ravine near them.  Presumably, this was Bareback Falls.

There were only two diamond dogs guarding the place, and they never even looked towards the stairwell where the foals were hiding.  Instead, the dogs busied themselves with the task of lighting torches.  The clearing already blazed with torchlight, but dogs continued to light more.

Shadow retreated down the stairs to the first landing, and waved for the others to join him.  “We need a plan.  Preferably something more sophisticated than ‘Quiz and I sneak up and try to hit the guards with rocks.’”

“Quiz could distract them with a light spell,” suggested Silver.  “We could sneak in while the guards investigate.”

Quiz shook her head.  “A distraction is not enough.  If we cannot disable the guards we must get them to flee.”

“Hay, Quizzie, could you do an illusion?” asked Shadow.  “Something big and scarey that the guard dogs will run away from?”

Silver and Diamond laughed.   Shadow demanded, “What’s so funny?”

Quiz hung her head.  “I am quite good at some displays, bar graphs and pie charts mainly.  But as far as producing a realistic illusion?  I am artistically limited.”

“How limited?”

Silver Spoon answered for Quiz.  “She draws stick figures.”

“Actually, that might work,” sneered Diamond.  “Quiz could show them some of her graphs, then threaten to lecture them on Equestrian widget production over the last one hundred years.  I know I’d run away!”

“That’s not helping, Di,” chided Shadow.

“I have, on many occasions, asked you for private instruction on drawing, Silver,” Quiz pointed out.  “You have told me no each time.”

Silver looked pained.  “Well… I am pretty busy…”

“Actually, you are afraid it would damage your status as one of the popular fillies if your friends saw you spending time with me.”

“That’s not…  I don’t…”  Silver turned to hide her face.

        Shadow shuffled his hooves uncomfortably.  Diamond glared at Quiz.  Quiz just looked confused.

        “I do not understand,” said Quiz.  “I did not expect…  Silver?  Have I hurt your feelings?”

        “No, no, it’s okay,” said Silver.  She wiped something from her face.  “I want to try something.”

        Silver sat next to Quiz, and gently took one of Quiz’s legs and held it.  “Let me guide your hoof.  You cast the spell, and I’ll do the drawing.”

        “To share a spell like that requires trust…  But…  Yes, I think that will work,” said Quiz.  Her horn glowed.  Silver drew the outline of something tall and hulking.

        “Oh, this will work perfectly,” said Quiz, encouraging Silver on.  

        Together they built a scary monster.


#


        Daggett stood on the broken cobbles that were all that remained of a street, and turned in place.  “This has changed,” he said.

        “What’s the matter, Mr. Daggett?” asked Valory.

        “Please don’t tell us that you’re lost,” exclaimed Dinky.

        “Not lost,” answered Daggett.  “Just a bit disoriented.  Trees grow, stone shifts and crumbles, you have to relearn the terrain every time you visit here.  Give me a moment to get my bearings.”

        “That hill of rubble might be the stadium,” offered Alpha.

        “That is not the stadium, the stadium is behind us,” snapped Daggett.

        “If the stadium is behind us then we are on what the old ponies called ‘Pratt Street.’” said Digger.  He pointed.  “And the landing zone is that way.  But if Alpha is right about the stadium, then we are on ‘Green Street’ and the landing zone is way over there.”

Digger pointed with his other arm.  His arms were at right angles.

“We could be on ‘Lombard.’  If so, we need to go this way.”  Alpha pointed in a third direction.

“We are not on Lombard, because that is Darkstone Center.”  Daggett pointed, then waved his arms in irritation.  “Stop trying to confuse me!”

“Oh, that can’t be right,” said Alpha.  “Those ruins are much too small for the Center.  Hmmm, but if that is not the Center then I must be wrong about the Stadium…”

“Shouldn’t we just go to that light?” asked Dinky.

They all looked where she was pointing.  Even through the thick forest they could see the blazing torchlight not far away.

“Oh,” muttered Daggett.  “It will be lit so the customer can find it.  I forgot.”


	#



A towering monster loomed over the little ponies, it’s arms raised menacingly as if about to crush them.

        “Wow, that came out really good,” exclaimed Shadow.

        Silver and Quiz stood back to admire the result of their collaboration.  “This is one of my favorite monsters from AD & D.  It looks like it’s the right shape, but it’s made like a pile of weeds and debris, so the effect is familiar and alien at the same time.  It’s really creepy.”

        “May I say again how I admire your talent, Silver,” said Quiz.  “It amazes me that you managed so much detail, in such a short time, all while using my leg as a stylus.”

        “Don’t make it sound like you were just ‘the stylus,’” insisted Silver.  “I know enough about magic to know it takes a lot of control to work with a partner the way we just did.  Only the best unicorns can do that.”

        “Fine, you admire each other, we get it!” grumbled Diamond.  “Can we get on with this now?  I want to use this thing so we can get it away from me.  It creeps me out!”

        They all climbed back up the stairs and peeked out again.  The guards were still concentrating on lighting more torches.

        “There,” whispered Silver, pointing.  “That bush the wind is moving, make it appear behind that, Quiz.  Then have it slowly approach the diamond dogs.”

        “Very well.  But remember, the image is static.  I can move it around, but I cannot make the image itself move.”

        “That’s fine.  These things just kind of shamble around.  If you rock the image a bit when you move it that should be convincing.”

        Quiz nodded, then focused on the bush that was her target.  But before she could adjust her spell and send the illusion into place the diamond dogs pointed up and screamed.

        They were pointing to the head of a gigantic timber wolf, which looked down on them from the top of the tree line.  Still screaming, the diamond dogs ran for their lives.

        “Girls, back down the stairs!” ordered Shadow.  “It’s too big to chase us down there… wait, now what’s happening?”

        As soon as the diamond dog’s cries faded in the distance the sound of their screams was replaced by high pitched laughter.  The timber wolf disappeared with a faint pop.

        Four little foals tumbled out of the tree’s and into the clearing.  They were laughing so hard they couldn’t stand, and instead rolled on the ground helplessly.

        “What…?   What just happened?” cried Silver.

        “It is Angel,” answered Quiz.  “Her illusion spells are much better than mine.  It appears the ‘Ambush Raiders’ have caught up with us.”

        “But our monster looked so good!” wailed Silver.  “I wanted to use it, I wanted to scare the diamond dogs!  This is so not fair!”

        “I bet we could use it to scare the kids,” suggested Diamond.  She giggled.  “It would serve those brats right.  It’d certainly be a lot of fun.”

        Quiz shook her head.  “They might run and hide in the Forest, and we would have to find them again.  I am sorry you are disappointed, Silver.  I am disappointed as well.  But the best I can do is commit as much of our illusion to memory as I can, and perhaps save it for another time.”

        Quiz’s horn stopped glowing, and the monster disappeared.

        “Um, shouldn’t we get out there now?” asked Shadow.  “Before the kids start opening cages or poking things with sticks?”

        The fillies followed Shadow into the clearing.  The younger foals were already peeking under the sheet covering one of the cages.

        They appeared to be trying to speak to the cage’s occupant.

        Dinky waved when she noticed them.  “Hi, Quiz, hi guys.  Glad you could make it.  Look!  We found Zecora!”

        “I don’t think she’s feeling very well,” said Pip.

        As Quiz and the others approached they heard a rich, musical voice sing out.  “Who is there?  As if I care.”

        Quiz went to the cage door and looked in.  It was indeed their friend the zebra mystic.  Zecora was lying on her back, and she seemed to find something fascinating about her hooves.

        “Miss Zecora, we are here to help,” said Quiz.  “Please tell us what is the mater.”

        “Why all your stares?  I have no cares.”  Zecora laughed.  “Oh, dear, am I going crazy?  Rhyming ‘care’ twice in a row?  Perhaps I’m only lazy?”

        “Wow, your friend is really out of it,” exclaimed Shadow.

        “Twinkle, twinkle, little bat,” said Zecora.  “Like a tea tray in the sky.  Woah, did I just miss a line?”

        “What’s wrong with her?” asked Angel.

        “She has been fed tainted honey, to make her more cooperative.”  The answer came from a nearby covered cage.

        At the word ‘honey’ a portable bee hive next to Zecora’s cage began to buzz laconically.  Zecora hummed along with their droning.

        Diamond went to confront whoever had spoken to them, throwing the covers at the front of the cage aside.  “Look, you joker, you better give us some straight answers…  What are you?!”

        The being inside the cage had the body of an enormous lion, and the torso and face of some other creature.  Its curly hair and beard were glossy black but shot with grey, and grew all the way to it’s paws.  It frowned at Diamond.

        “The polite question to ask a fellow intelligent person is ‘Who are you’ not ‘What.’  My name is Alexander.  But, since you asked, I am a sphinx.”

        “Wow!” gasped Shadow.  “Sir, It’s an honor.  I’ve always wanted to meet a sphinx.”

        “Thank you.  You are the young naturalist, aren’t you?”  When Shadow nodded, Alexander added, “I have heard of you and your father’s work from many of the other creatures.  They think quite highly of you.  The diamond dogs, on the other paw, complain about how you are always getting in the way of their work.  They don’t like you at all.  To my mind, that is a glowing testament in your favor.”

        Shadow grinned.  “Thank you, Sir.”

        “I am allowed to grant you one bit of free advice,” said Alexander.  “Let it be this.  As it is night, the hive should soon go back to sleep.  But if they become active they will offer you their honey.  Do not accept this kind offer.  The bees are Lysergic acid bumblidea, and you will soon find yourselves in the same state as your zebra friend if you consume their honey.”

        “Thank you, Mr. Alexander,” said Quiz.  “I also am honored to meet you.”

        The sphinx studied Quiz with great curiosity.  He squinted at her, then cocked his head and stared.  He stuck his nose through the bars of his cage and sniffed.  Quiz couldn’t help but retreat a few steps while under Alexander’s intense scrutiny.

        “Young miss, I find something about you familiar,” said Alexander.  “By any chance is your name ‘Darkstone’?”

        “No, Sir.  My name is Quizzical Greystone.”

"Ahhh," said Alexander.  "That explains it."

"Explains what?" demanded Diamond.  "I distinctly remember telling you that we wanted answers..."

        “Di, hush!” hissed Shadow.  “A sphinx needs to be treated with respect.”

        “Well, first there is the small matter of the riddle,” said Alexander.  He pointedly ignored Diamond.  “As an enchanted being I am bound by magical rules.  I cannot tell you anything until you have answered a riddle.  Sorry, I don’t make the rules.  But it’s really little more than a formality.  Since I actually want to tell you everything I know I shall give you an easy one.  Please choose one of you to be the answerer, and we can get this out of the way.”

        “You do it, Quizzie,” said Shadow.  “He seems to like you.”

        “I agree,” said Silver.  “Quiz will know the answer.  If she doesn’t then neither does any of us.”

        “Very well,” said Quiz.  “Please ask me your riddle, Mr. Alexander.”

        Alexander chuckled.  “I did promise you an easy one.  Here it is.  Why did the chicken cross the road?”

        Everypony laughed as soon as Alexander began the old joke.  Everypony save one.  

        “Um…  may I have a hint?” asked Quiz.

        
	
	

> Chapter 17  The Greystone Legacy
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom



Chapter 17  The Greystone Legacy




        Quiz looked around to find everyone staring at her.  This was familiar territory for her, though it was definitely not something she would ever grow used to.  “So, you have all heard this riddle before?”

        “Yes!” cried everypony.

        “Bother.”

        “I must remind you all that you have chosen to have Miss Greystone answer the riddle,” said Alexander.  “You are not allowed to help her.”

        “Oh, great!” snapped Diamond.  “Quiz-ik-al is going to blow the easiest riddle in the whole world, and the sphinx is going to eat her!”

        “Hrumph!” Alexander snorted.  “That is very insulting, young filly.  I am not a barbarian, like some common crossroads sphinx.  I do not eat failed answerers.”

        “Oh, well then, fine…” began Diamond.

        “No, I definitely wouldn’t eat her,” continued Alexander.  “Under the rules of the riddle I would have to throw her off the nearest cliff.”

        There was a moment’s silence as they all digested this.  The only sound was from Bareback Falls cascading into the ravine behind them.

        “I beg your pardon!  You want to do what to her?”  Diamond leaned in, pressing her face against the cage.  Her mane bristled, and her wide eyes shone red.  Alexander actually recoiled from her.

        “I did say I didn’t make the rules.  I assure you, I wouldn’t enjoy it.  But I’d be compelled.  Frankly, this is a bit embarrassing.  Perhaps I should have done the one about the fire ponies and their red suspenders instead.”

        “Oh, they wear those to hold up their protective trousers,” said Quiz.  “Everypony knows that.”

“It’s much too late to turn back now,” said Alexander, with a heavy sigh.  “You have been tasked with a riddle and you must answer it, Miss Greystone.  Now, we really should all be quiet to let the answerer think.”

        “I am quite confused,” said Quiz.  “The riddle assumes knowledge of the chicken’s motives that I do not have.”

        “Oh, Quiz, you are totally overthinking this!” cried Silver.

        “Your friend is correct, Miss Greystone,” said Alexander.  “Perhaps this will be helpful.  I cannot give you the hint you asked for, but I can tell you that you don’t need it.  You have all the information you need.”

        “You call that being helpful?” snapped Diamond.

        “Actually, that helps a great deal,” said Quiz.  “It means I need an all-purpose, general answer.  The answer must be applicable to all chickens crossing any road.”

        “Good, good,” said Alexander, nodding and smiling.  “Go on.”

        “I must determine the most basic reason a chicken might have for crossing a road.”  Quiz closed her eyes to concentrate.

        “Yes, good,” said Alexander, encouraging Quiz on.  “You have stopped overthinking it, and have begun ‘thinking it through.’  These are very different processes, as I suspect you know.”

        “The answer would be all encompassing,” muttered Quiz.  “All other reasons for a chicken to cross the road would fit within the set of this one reason…”

        “Um...maybe,” said Alexander.  “I’m not quite following you.  I think we’ve taken a step back into ‘overthinking’ again.”

        “Perhaps it would help if I diagramed this.”  Quiz summoned a magic blackboard and wrote ‘Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road’ as a header.  Then she drew a Venn diagram.  One circle fit entirely inside another.  Quiz labeled the outer circle ‘The Answer’ and added only one item, a question mark.  She then labeled the smaller circle ‘Reasons.’  Quiz began to swiftly fill this in with ‘There was feed on the other side,’ ‘The coop was on the other side,’ ‘The rest of the flock was on the other side,’ and other things in this vein.

        Diamond did a face hoof.  “She’s actually diagramming this!”

        “Diamond, don’t interrupt,” hissed Silver.  “If this is her process then leave her to it.  Whatever works, right?”

        “Fine, but we absolutely have to make sure she remembers this diagram.  I want to be there when she shows it to Pinkie Pie.”  Diamond made a face.  “Assuming we get Quiz out of this alive, that is.”

        “Diamond, hush!”  Silver blanched.  “It’s bad enough, without saying that out loud!”

        “Your approach is strangely charming, Miss Greystone,” said Alexander.  “But we do not have time for you to record all possible motives for every chicken that ever crossed a road.  The moon is setting.  Chief Bowser and his customer are on their way.”

        “I believe I have enough,” said Quiz.  “I  am detecting a pattern.  I am as ready as I ever shall be to give you my answer.”

        “Then please proceed.”  Alexander managed another encouraging smile.

        Quiz took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “The chicken crossed the road because it decided it was on the wrong side.”

        There was a long pause.

        Alexander sighed.  “Close enough.  I’ll allow it.”

        “Yay!” cried Pipsqueak.  “I knew you’d get it, Miss Quizzical!”

        There was a ragged cheer, but only Pip showed any real enthusiasm.  The rest mostly sighed with relief, or shook their heads in amazement that this whole thing had even happened.

“So, this is meant to be funny?” asked Quiz.  “I do not get it.”

“It’s the way you told it, Quizzie,” said Shadow.  

“Moving on,” Alexander said, quite pointedly, “Now with that surprisingly difficult and 
absurd business over, I assume you are interested in what Chief Bowser has been up to.  The short answer is he and his pack have been poaching.”

        “Of course!” exclaimed Shadow.  “I should have guessed.  You could feel something was wrong.  The whole forest was stirred up.”

        “I don’t understand,” said Silver.  “Isn’t the Everfree wild land?”

        Alexander shook his head.  “No, technically the Forest is a Royal preserve.  That goes back to when it was just the woods surrounding the city, but the Princesses never rescinded the decree protecting the Forest.”

“My dad had to fill out a mountain of paperwork before we could work out here,” said Shadow.  “And there’s strict restrictions on the samples we can collect.”

“And that is as it should be,” stated Alexander.  “The Everfree may be wild and dangerous, but it is also home to flora and fauna that exist nowhere else in all the world.  This was not a problem until recently.  Most of us are quite capable of protecting ourselves.  Hunting in the Everfree was too dangerous to justify the risk.   That changed when Bowser’s pack arrived.  Few creatures here can fight off the entire pack of diamond dogs.  I couldn’t.”

“And Bowser makes money from this?” demanded Diamond Tiara.

“You doubt that there’s any profit in digging up forest weeds and capturing monsters, girl?”  Alexander smirked at her.  “I apparently don’t look that valuable to you, but I assure you I’m worth a fortune.  There are menageries all around the world that would pay handsomely for a sphinx.  The really big money is right here in Equestria.   Monsters have become all the rage among status conscious ponies with more bits than scruples.  It used to be hidden galleries of stolen art, but I understand that’s become passe.  Wouldn’t you like a secret zoo of your own, to show off to your friends, little filly?”

“Hmmm?”  Diamond pondered the notion.

“Di!” exclaimed Shadow, shocked that Diamond was giving the idea a little too much thought.

“I’d never!” cried Diamond, suddenly aware that ponies were beginning to stare at her.  “That would be against the anti-slavery laws.”

“Yes, yes, the Princesses have forbidden the unjust confinement of any being capable of asking nicely to please not be unjustly confined.”  Alexander snorted derisively.  “I’m paraphrasing, of course.  But this does not offend the sensibilities of some ponies.  We’re just monsters, after all.  And so, many of us are fated to a lifetime caged in some rich idiot’s cellar.  Those are the lucky ones.”

        There was a long, uncomfortable pause, as that sank in.

        “Wh-what happens to the unlucky ones?” stammered Dinky.

        “From your tone, young one, you have correctly guessed that you don’t really want to hear the answer.” Alexander spoke as gently as possible.  “I’ll do my best to answer in a way that won’t terrify you, but that won’t be easy.  As a young unicorn, you may know that many spells are more powerful if ‘special ingredients’ are used in the casting.  Similar ingredients go into the crafting of amulets and other enchanted items.  The biggest market of all would be alchemists.  Not all potions are brewed from flowers and herbs, some have more sinister parts.  There are dark magicians who dream they could become the next King Sombra if they could just create a powerful enough elixir.  My fellow captives and myself might provide all these unpleasant ingredients.  We wouldn’t do so willingly, of course.  Said ingredients are things we are still using, and that we need very badly.”

        “I don’t understand what he’s talking about,” complained Pipsqueak.

        “That is probably for the best, little colt,” answered Alexander.  “I refuse to go into greater detail.  It would give you nightmares.”

        “I’ve heard about a potion that makes you smarter,” said Diamond.  “You need a sphinx’s brain for it.”

        Everypony cried “Ewww!!!” and cringed, except Pip.

        “I still don’t understand!” he wailed.  “That means you’d have to drink… oh.  Oh!!!”

        “Diamond, how could you?” sobbed Silver.



        “What?  What did I say?” Diamond backed away from all their judgemental glares.

        “Diamond Tiara, that was well and truly inappropriate,” said Quiz, using an uncharacteristically sharp tone.  She put a hoof on Pipsqueak’s shoulder to steady him. and continued, much more gently, “Pip, please just do not listen to her.”

        “Alexander, I apologize for our friend…” began Shadow.

        “Oh, I’m aware of this potion she’s talking about.  It doesn’t work,” said Alexander, grinning slyly.  Then his grin faded.  “I dearly hope whomever buys me is aware the potion doesn’t work.  Oh, dear, your littlest friend has found yet another example of how tragic what the diamond dogs are doing is.  You might want to comfort her.”

        They all looked where Alexander was pointing.  There was Angel, standing before a transplanted bush covered with silver-gray flowers.  She was weeping.

        “These are moonrise roses.” Angel cried, softly.  “You can’t see it in all the torchlight, but they glow.  They were Princess Luna’s favorites, and they only grew in the old castle gardens.  When she left the castle after banishing Nightmare Moon, Princess Celestia left them behind.  She didn’t want any more reminders of her sister.  Aunt Celestia has since said she regretted this.  We thought they had gone extinct!”

        “Oh, Angel!”  Dinky ran to give Angel a hug, with most of the other ponies close behind.

        “They just ripped them up and wrapped some burlap around their roots!” wailed Angel.

        “Yes, it is true,” said Alexander.  “The diamond dogs are skilled hunters and trappers, but they are abysmal gardeners.   If the rose bushes are not purchased by extremely well skilled gardeners they will not survive.  No, no, I should not have said that.  Dry your tears, little one.  If a buyer can afford the contraband roses they can afford the greatest care for them.”

        Only Quiz and Diamond remained at Alexander’s cage door.  Quiz whispered to him, “You are being disingenuous.  A gardener with the skill to save the roses would also be among the first ponies to report the poaching.”

Alexander sighed.  “Yes.  An herbalist, such as your friend the zebra, pledges to plant three seeds for everything they harvest.  Poachers take no such pledge.  In a way, the fate of the plants is the greatest tragedy of all.  One less sphinx free in the world is a tragedy mainly to that sphinx.  But the extinction of a species…”  Alexander sobbed, and could not finish.

While the other ponies were busy comforting Angel, Shadow heard the word ‘extinction,’ the most obscene word in a naturalist’s vocabulary, and returned to the conversation.  He whispered to Alexander, “We discovered Clover’s flowering fern growing wild in the Forest.  Then, a fortnight ago, all we could find were holes.”

Quiz’s ears stood up, though there was little sign of excitement in her voice.  “Clover’s flowering fern?  That is an important intermediate species, it is the first known flowering plant.  It is only known from fossils.”

“Fossils?”  Alexander laughed, but it was without mirth.  “No, the flowering fern grows here.  Or, at least, it once did.  Like you, my naturalist friend, during the week before I was captured I could find the plant nowhere in the city.  There were only holes.  Do you know what happens to a plant that has had so long to adapt to one environment when you transplant it?  Withering death.  The last of Clover’s flowering ferns are over there in that crate next to the zap apple saplings.  The zap apples are also doomed.  Most of them are much too young for transplanting.  And so it goes for all the plants stolen from the Forest.  They will go to gardeners with more enthusiasm than skill, and they will not survive.  Instead of the experts who could save them they will get dilettantes who just want a pretty potted carnivorous flower sitting on their safes, guarding their valuables.  To say the diamond dogs might wipe out whole species without even trying is an understatement.  ‘Without even trying’ would be exactly how they’d do it.”

The Ambush Raiders had been consoling Angel, then quietly chatting together, when there was a sudden outburst from Pip.  “Mr. Daggett and the other dogs fibbed  They said they were only moving a ‘product.’  They never said that product was people!”

“Speaking of the diamond dogs, where are our prisoners?” asked Valory.  The Raiders began fruitlessly spinning in circles looking for them.

“Darn it, they ran away!” cried Dinky.  “Who’s turn was it to hold their leashes, anyway?”

“It was your turn!” they all cried in unison, each pointing at a different one of the others.

Alexander chuckled.  “Never mind children.  They probably ran away to avoid confronting me.  I can understand that.  Bringing me my dinner was considered a punishment detail in Bowser’s pack, and I think I’m the monster the dogs will miss the least.  I haven’t been very cooperative.”

        “Okay, I get that Bowser’s mutts are tearing up the Forest,” snarled Diamond.  “But where are all these buyers coming from?  Bowser couldn’t come up with his own customers, he’s too big a doofus.  He’s also a total scuzzball and nopony wants to talk to him.  How’s he going to sell you guys?”

        “As you have probably guessed, Bowser has a connection,” answered Alexander.  “That would be Bowser’s mysterious ‘customer.’  Actually, while Bowser acts as if he is a full partner, really Bowser is little more than an employee.  Bowser’s customer recruited the Chief and his pack to hunt for him.  I do not know who he is, but I have overheard this much.  He is a very powerful pony with many criminal connections, and a hoof in every illegal pie.  He has many low friends in high places and many high friends in low places.  Selling us is a simple matter of delivering us to the final buyer, after picking us up from Bowser that is.”

        “Sort of a crime lord, then?” asked Diamond.

        “More of a criminal emperor, I think,” said Alexander.  “That is based on how very much he’s able to sell.  What you see here is only half what Bowser has gathered for him.”

        Shadow looked around at the huge collection all around the clearing, and let out a low whistle.  “No wonder he needed help hauling it.”

        Alexander chuckled.  “According to Bowser and his dogs it’s all you and your father’s fault the rest of the load isn’t here.”

        “Our fault?  What did we do?”

        “You were everywhere, recording everything.  Bowser had to give up the best hunting ground to avoid you, and set up a second staging area to hold what he caught.  Working around you put him further and further behind, until finally Bowser had run out of time.  He would have loved to simply make the two of you disappear, but he couldn’t.  The Princesses were too interested in your survey.  Royal messengers kept arriving to deliver and pick up dispatches.”

        Now Shadow chuckled.  “A lot of those dispatches were just Dad asking for more help and money, and the Princesses saying no.”

        While everypony was talking Quiz had fallen silent as she pondered something.  Finally, she asked, “Mr. Alexander, do you know which way Chief Bowser’s convoy will come from?”

        “I do, with certainty.”  The sphinx nodded, then pointed to something at the edge of the clearing.  “He will have to come up through that great hole there.  That is the only wagon ramp from the underground up to the park that has not collapsed.”

        “Hmmmm…”
  
Diamond looked at Quiz, and a sly grin spread across her face.  “I know that thoughtful look, Quiz-ik-al.  You’re doing that ‘deep in thought’ thing you do.  You have an idea.”

        “I might,” answered Quiz.  She pointed to Diamond’s face.  “And I know that sneaky look.  You have an idea as well.  Could it be that you are thinking what I am thinking?”

        “I bet our ideas are pretty close.  The first thing we need to do is get the big guy here loose so he can show us which cages are safe to open.”  Diamond began picking the lock on Alexander’s cage with her tiara.

        “We will also need him to speak to the other monsters, and explain what we need them to do,” said Quiz.

        “All the keys are in a shed over there with the diamond dog’s tools.”  Alexander waved towards a rough wood plank structure in the middle of the clearing.

        “Good,” said Diamond.  Like most earth ponies she was skilled at speaking clearly while holding a tool in her mouth.  “Hey, you little brats, go find the keys!  I bet I get this open before you get back.”

        

#


        The Raiders scurried off to the tool shed, but they became distracted before they could find the keys.  

        “What’s this?” Pip asked, gesturing at something piled in a corner.

        “I think they’re nets,” said Dinky.  She tugged on one corner to test the material.  “These are really strong.”

        “And they’re big, too,” said Valory, dragging one out of the shed to find it’s full length.

        “Wow, you could stuff a whole pack of diamond dogs into that!” exclaimed Pip.

        “There’s a lot of them,” noted Angel, examining the pile.  “At least five, maybe six.”

        “This could be good,” said Valory.  “There’s a lot you can accomplish with a good, well placed net.”


#


        “Well, it didn’t take the Ambush Raiders long to find the nets,” said Daggett, as the diamond dogs watched from the tree line.  Daggett sighed.  “And no time at all for them to begin playing with them.  This could be bad.  There’s a lot of trouble you could get into with a badly placed net.”

        “What are we going to do, Daggett?” asked Alpha.  “You don’t want to just go home, do you?”

        “No, we have to help them,” answered Daggett, his shoulders sagging with resignation.  “You heard what Pipsqueak shouted at us.  We lied to the children, and we lied to ourselves.  We claimed we were hunting monsters, but really we were taking slaves.  We have to make up for that, somehow.”

        “So, whatever the ponies do, we’ll end up helping them?” asked Digger.

        “Yes,” said Daggett.  “Or at least we try to keep them out of too much trouble.”


#


        “While we wait there is something I need to share with you, Miss Greystone,” said Alexander.  “Does the name ‘Darkstone’ mean nothing to you?”

        “My grandparents say that might have once been our family name,” answered Quiz.  “But nopony knows for sure.  There is a gap in the family records.  We know nothing of the years following the founding of Canterlot.”

        “You are in luck, as I am a witness to those years,” said Alexander.  “The city was very much a company town then, and the company was the government of Equestria.  Most of the population followed Princess Celestia to Canterlot.  I had been watching events closely, as I sense the possibility of finding a new home.  I had my eye on the public library.  It took many generations, during which I observed as the city slowly closed.  Eventually the library was shut down and abandoned, and I moved in.  Today little more than the front steps still exist above ground, but it’s home, and I’m eager to get back to it.  It’s definitely better than guarding a cross roads…”

        “Is this a digression?” spat Diamond Tiara.  “This sounds like a digression.  Get on with the story, I’m almost done here.”

        “Yes, fine,” grumbled Alexander.  “The Darkstones.  While most of the city depended on the Palace for employment, there were other employers.  The largest was Darkstone Quarries.  Part of the family moved to Canterlot, to find new rock beds.  Princess Celestia found the black stone her castle was made of reminded her too much of her sister.  She wanted white marble and bright grey granite for her new palace.  The Darkstones found such rock in abundance in the mountains above Canterlot.  I guess it was about this time that the Canterlot branch of the family took the name ‘Greystone.’

        “But the family home, and the company headquarters remained here.  This made sense at first, while the quarry still kept the city partially alive.  But the Darkstones remained for many generations, out of inertia and tradition I suppose.  Chisel Darkstone XXIII was the last mayor.  At that point the city was little more than a village of quarry workers.  I myself had already moved into the library, so much of the city was empty.  The ponies had taken all the books, of course, but I did my best to fill the library with what printed material I could find.  I have an impressive collection of fliers for defunct businesses, and a very well loved copy of The Very Hungry Ladybug I found in a closed pre-school…”

        “Get on with it!”  snapped Diamond.  There was a ‘click’ and she put her tiara back in place.  “Or not.  I don’t care.  Door’s open.  You’re welcome.”

        “Hmmph!”  Alexander did not thank Diamond.  “This tale is for Miss Greystone’s benefit, not yours.  She knows how to listen politely.  Let me see… Oh, yes, Chisel the Twenty-third.  It was his daughter, and only child, Curiosity Darkstone who finally moved the company and the family to Canterlot.  Demand for the darkstone was low, what with most communities emulating shiny white Canterlot.  Also, the Everfree had grown much too dangerous to travel through, let alone to ship goods through.  Miss Curiosity led the last caravan out of the city, removing all that was left here.  This included all of the Darkstone family and company records.  Sadly, the caravan was attacked by monsters.  The ponies were able to flee with their lives, but everything else was lost.  This happened about six hundred years ago.”

        “That would explain the gap in the family history,” said Quiz.  

        “You needn’t worry about that, Miss Greystone.”  Alexander stood, and shoved the cage door open.  Diamond jumped back, just as the door flew by her nose.  Alexander made an exaggerated show of stretching, as he stepped to the ground.  “You remind me of Miss Curiosity, my dear.  I only observed her from afar, but I liked her.  She was well liked for her quiet competence and bright intellect.   She had many more friends and admirers than her modesty would allow her to believe.  In her diary she said her dream was to turn control of the family business over to one of her cousins, and retire to academia.  I hope she was able to do this.  Miss Curiosity would have made an excellent teacher.”

        “You have read her diary?” asked Quiz.  “Then that was not lost with the rest of the family records?”

        “Oh, the records aren’t lost, Miss Greystone.”  Alexander laughed.  “Monsters don’t eat paper, or at least most of us don’t.  The Darkstone archives were just left behind at the side of the road after the attack.  I recovered them and took them back to my library.  I’ve kept them all this time.  When it’s more convenient I’ll be happy to show them to you.”

        Quiz was stunned into silence.

        Diamond was not.  “Oh, come on!  You have got to be kidding me!!  The only one of us to get any old secrets out of the lost city is Quiz?!!!  Not fair!”





> Chapter 18  Villain's Monologue
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom



Chapter 18  Villain’s Monologue




“Are we there yet?”

Bowser laughed at Cheerilee.  “You sound more like one of the foals than like their pretty little teacher pony.  But it is understandable.  Because she is the biggest pony here she has had to pull the heaviest wagon.  The pretty little teacher pony must be very tired.”

“Hrmph,” grunted Cheerilee.  Bowser’s tone did not actually strike her as sympathetic, and she did not feel at all compelled to thank him for being understanding.  She considered reminding Bowser yet again that her name was Cheerilee, but decided not to bother.  “What am I hauling, anyway?”

“Glass jars.  Many jars, made of the thickest glass the diamond dogs can get, and stacked as high as will fit in the cart.”

“Why?”

Bowser grinned.  “Nothing else will hold the twittermites.”

Cheerilee started, which jerked her cart.  There was a clink of glass against glass, and the color ran from Cheerilee’s face.  

“Awww, the pretty little teacher pony is nervous?  She does not trust the diamond dogs to pack the jars with the greatest of care?”

Bowser gave the cart a swat with his paw, and Cheerilee jumped.

The cargo glowed visibly through the heavy tarp covering it.

“The diamond dogs are quite proud of this, actually.  We gathered the twittermites without the fancy gizmos little ponies use.  And most of the dogs who did the gathering have stopped walking funny, and their pelts have even begun to grow back.”

Cheerilee very, very gently applied pressure to the harness to get her cart rolling smoothly again.

Bowser laughed again.  “But Chief Bowser has not answered the pretty little teacher pony’s first question.  How rude of him.  The answer is we are almost there.  We are already under the main streets of the old pony city, and we will be at our destination in a few minutes.”

“Then what?” asked Cheerilee.  “What will you do with the children and myself?”

Bowser scratched his head.  “Let you go.  Probably.  There is a market for little ponies, but it is not what Bowser has been contracted for, and the customer will not be bringing enough gems to buy you.  Mind you, Bowser might be willing to extend credit if the offer is good enough…”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Actually, Bowser would dare.”  He grinned, and Cheerilee shied away from him as far as the cart harness allowed.  “But not tonight.  Much better to set you free.  This time.  If you get home safely the pretty little pony princesses will get over being mad at Chief Bowser.  Not so much if Bowser keeps you.”

Cheerilee almost blurted out ‘You’ll never get away with it,’ but stopped herself.  Bowser’s conviction that he would get away with this was their best chance to be set free.

Bowser went on, quite enjoying having a captive audience.  “Chief Bowser is untouchable.  With his tunnels his pack can go anywhere under the Forest.  Does the pretty little teacher pony think Bowser’s warrens are confusing now?  Bowser can close old tunnels and make new ones every day!  If shiny little pony soldiers enter the warrens looking for Bowser, what of it?  When they become lost Bowser might just give them directions home.  Eventually.  For a price.”		

Cheerilee once again had to stifle the urge to tell Bowser he would never get away with it.

“Bowser is King of the Everfree Forest!  Everything in it belongs to Bowser now!”  He wrung his hands greedily.  “Bowser can afford to let the little ponies free tonight.  Bowser can save them for later.  After tonight, when Bowser is paid his reward and word of it spreads, diamond dogs will come running to Bowser.  Not just from Bowser’s old pack, but dogs from all over Equestria will come to serve Bowser, for a small share of his pack’s wealth and power. Soon Bowser will lead the greatest pack the world has ever known!  Then Bowser can do whatever Bowser wants, and no little ponies can stop him.”

“You think you’re going to become Emperor of all diamond dogs?”

Bowser considered this, then shook his head.  “No, not emperor.  Just king.  King Bowser sounds better.”

“You’ll never get away with it,” muttered Cheerilee.


#


Rainbow Dash peeked out of a wide hole in a stone floor.  Her ears twitched.  She sniffed the air.  The castle had been struck by lightning several times during the magic storm, and there was just enough of a glow left by the dissipating magic for Rainbow to see that the room was empty.

“Okay, the coast is clear,” called Rainbow, as she rose into the room.  “Come on up.”

“Finally!” gasped Navy.  He flew up to hover next to Rainbow, with Autumn close behind him.  “Who builds a castle on top of a cliff, then carves a shaft all the way through the mountain, anyway?”

“The Royal Pony Sisters, apparently,” answered Infernalo as he climbed into the room.  “So you might want to use a more respectful tone of voice.”

“That shaft seems to be part of the drainage system,” said Autumn.  “That’s actually shows forward thinking on the part of the Princesses.  Instead of run off pouring over the edge and into the environment it flows down here.  It connects to the old city’s storm drains, and the water goes to the water treatment plant.  I like it.”

“Fine, but who builds a spiral staircase into their drains?” grumbled Navy.

“Again, the Royal Pony Sisters,” said Infernalo.  “Can I be there when you tell Princess Celestia what you think of her design?”

“Besides, a shaft like this would normally have a ladder instead of stairs, would you prefer that?”  asked Stone Hoof, as he joined them.  “And what are you complaining about, anyway?  You flew up the stairs.”

Navy frowned.  “Flying wasn’t much better than walking.  We had to hover next to you guys the whole way in case you slipped.”

“And that, I admit, was appreciated,” said Infernalo.  “The stairs are slick from a thousand years of running water, and it is a long way down.”

“I imagine it looks like a waterfall when it rains,” mused Mayor Mare, dreamily.  “It must be lovely, especially when the water is glowing with magic.”

“‘Come to the Everfree Forest and tour our scenic drains!’” sneered Professor Coal Heart.  “Your tourism promotions keep getting better and better, Madam Mayor.”

“Shut up, Professor!”

“Everypony just shut up!” ordered Rainbow.  She scratched her head.  “I don’t get it.  This place is empty.  Where is everypony?”

“Logic says the kidnappers brought children here,” said Infernalo.  “It is the largest landmark in the Forest, it is the only shelter above ground, and we know this is roughly the direction they were traveling.”

“This is just the lowest level,” Autumn pointed out.  “It’s a little too soon to give up on finding the kids here.  We should keep looking.”

“Fine, we’ll search a few more levels,” said Rainbow.  “We’re, what?  Three, four floors below the ground floor?”

“Great, more stairs,” muttered Navy.

“Okay, let’s go lights out, and no more chatter,” ordered Rainbow.  “If anybody’s here we want to sneak up and take ‘em by surprise.”

“Is wandering around in the dark wise?” asked the Mayor.

“Oh, yes,” replied Professor Heart.  “That’s exactly what I think we should do.  That’s a wonderful idea.”


#


“What’s next on the list, Madam Mayor?”  Despite all the hard work ahead and the gravity of their situation, Shadow laughed and grinned ridiculously at Quiz.

“Please stop calling me that,” answered Quiz.  She consulted her clipboard.  Quiz had been pleasantly surprised to find it among the diamond dog’s tools; and while she wasn’t pleased with the actual quality of the clipboard (it had been made by diamond dogs, after all) she was very pleased just to have a clipboard and some useful work to do with it.  She’d been working with Alexander to compile some lists - which monsters would be reasonable and helpful, which monsters would need to be kept under control, and which monsters were too mean or stupid to be safely set free.  

Quiz pointed to a cage.  “Open that one next.  That is a naga, and she should be a great help.”

“I’ve already spoken to her,” said Alexander.  “Her name is Stana, and she’s actually quite nice.  She says she’ll be delighted to let the diamond dogs know just what she thinks of their ‘hospitality,’ and she promises not to harm any little ponies in the process.”

“I’m on it, Madam Mayor,” said Silver Spoon.  She giggled as she took a heavy key ring and dashed over to the cage.

“Really, I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me that.”  Quiz waved towards a row of eight smaller cages.  “Next, all of those must be moved into place near the tunnel, with their doors aimed at the opening.  Those are the jackalopes.  They cannot be set free until the last minute, but when the time comes they should spearhead the charge nicely.”

“Your wish is my command, Madam Mayor.”  Shadow laughed as he ran to begin pushing the cages into place.

“Bother.”  Quiz sighed.  “Is there anything I can say or do that will get you all to stop calling me that?”

“Not a chance, so you should just get used to it, Quiz-ik-al!”  Diamond Tiara shook her head.  “You’re the rightful heir to the whole lost city.”

“I am no such thing.”  Quiz actually came close to stomping her hooves indignantly.  “For one thing, the title ‘Mayor’ is not hereditary.  Even if it were it would go to my older brother rather than myself.  And I am certain that any dubious claim my family may have had would have lapsed generations ago, due to failure to maintain the property.”

“That is exactly what Miss Curiosity would have said,” mused Alexander.

“You are not helping my case, Mr. Alexander.”  In the interest of moving on, and changing the subject, Quiz consulted her clipboard again.  “I believe we should release the ogre next.  He should be a great help with the work.”

“Oh, yes, that would be Glurg,” answered Alexander.  “He’s a bit of a surly fellow, but I think he’ll cooperate with us.  However, we will have to let him walk around for a bit to steady him before we can put him to work.  The diamond dogs have been giving him the tainted honey to keep him quiet.” 

Quiz consulted her clipboard again as she and Alexander walked towards Glurg’s cage.  “I am wondering if we will have a conflict if we release both the frog people and the lizard men at the same time.”

Diamond didn’t hear Alexander’s answer as she watched the two of them walked away.  She was joined by a visibly shaken Silver Spoon.  Silver said, “I think Alexander’s right about Stana being a nice naga.  Probably.  But she sure looks scary!”

“Hmm,” mused Diamond, as she watched Quiz.  “She’s really good at this, you know?  At organizing stuff.  Really, really good.  But don’t you dare tell Quiz I said that!”

Silver laughed.  “I wouldn’t dream of it.”


#


In the dungeon of the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters three little ponies quietly peeked over the edge of a hole in the floor.  They scanned the room for signs of life, each holding their breath so as not to make a sound.

A pegasus shot out of the hole behind them.

“Finally!” cried Sky.  “I don’t think I could stand another second stuck in that shaft!”

Twilight, Mac, and Mustang glared at Sky, who did a tight lap of the room to stretch her wings.  

“We’re trying to be stealthy here!” hissed Twilight.

Sky hovered over them and glared back.  “What for?  This place is obviously empty.  And nopony but us has been up or down that shaft in years.  This mission is a bust.”

“There will be other drains in the other corners of the castle, the diamond dogs could be using one of those,” said Twilight.  “They’re probably just above us on another floor.  So we need to be quiet!”

Sky rolled her eyes.  “Fine.”

Below them on the stairs Relic made an exasperated gasp.  “Lovely.  More stairs.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac.  “But there’s some stairs a pony just can’t run away from.”

“I believe we still have the element of surprise,” said Mustang.  “We should take advantage of that.  I propose we douse the lights and continue silently upwards.”

“Is that really wise?” asked Relic.  “Bumbling ahead in the dark?”

“Oh, yeah, that sounds like fun,” said one of the Chick brothers.  “We should do that!”

“Well… “ began Pinkie, uncertainly.  “If you think it’ll be fun…”

“Oh, yeah,” said the other Chick brother.  “I think we’ll have a lot of fun!”


#


Near the center of the clearing two small squads of monsters stood glaring at each other.   Between them, looking very, very small, stood Diamond Tiara.

“We feel we were missss-informed,” hissed the leader of the lizard men.  “When we agreed to help the little poniessss with there plan, we were not told we would have to work with ssssslimy muck dwellers!”

“We also feel misinformed, er-upp,” croaked the head of the frog people.  “When we agreed to help with the plan, nothing was said about having to cooperate with scaly rock eating cave crawlers, er-upp!”

Diamond rolled her eyes.  “Fine, I get it.  You don’t like each other.  I don’t care.  You made promises, and we had a deal.  I expect you to honor that.”

Both groups responded with what was probably grumbling, though it was impossible to be sure as every word spoken in their languages sounded like grumbling.

Diamond stamped her hoof.  “Oh, c’mon!  Haven’t you heard the old saying… how’s it go?  The enemy of my enemy is somebody I can stand to deal with for a couple of hours?  So it won’t hurt any of you to call a truce and play nice until we deal with the diamond dogs.  Don’t worry, it’ll be over before you know it.  After that you can go back to maiming and murdering one another.”

There was more apparent grumbling as the monsters discussed this. 

The leader of the lizard men nodded.  “Very well.  We sssshall cooperate for now.”

“We also agree, er-upp,” said the head frog person.  “What does the little pony want us to do first?  Er-upp.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s a good question.”  Diamond turned and shouted across the clearing.  “Oh, Madam Mayor?!”

Despite the distance Diamond could hear a resigned sigh before Quiz answered.  “What is it, Diamond?”

“What do you want these guys to do first?”

“Have them douse all the torches,” answered Quiz.  “We shall need this clearing completely dark as soon as possible.”

“Okay, you heard the filly,” snapped Diamond.  “Get these torches out, right now.  Hurry up, we’ve already wasted enough time, alright?”

After a bit more possible grumbling, followed by laughter, the monsters dispersed and began to gathering the torches and throwing them into the nearby river.

Standing next to Quiz and Silver Spoon, Shadow cocked an ear to listen to the monsters.  He began to chuckle, then turned to the girls to explain what was so funny.  “I only know a smattering of their languages, but it sounds like they’re speculating about how Di would taste.  The consensus seems to be that she’s probably too bitter and awful to eat.”

Silver almost fell over laughing, and Quiz allowed herself a smirk.

“I must admit, Diamond is very good at what she does,” commented Quiz.  “Her skill at getting others to do what she wants is quite amazing.  I am very impressed by her.”

Silver chuckled.  “Are you going to tell her that?”

Quiz briefly pondered this.  “No. But feel free to tell her I said as much.  It will be better received coming from you than from me.”

#


Rainbow Dash stood at the top of the stairs and looked over the stair rail into the darkness.  She couldn’t see a thing, but her other senses told her volumes.

Rainbow turned and whispered to her companions.  “There’s definitely another group gathered on the far side of the room.  They’re sneaking around, trying to be quiet, but they aren’t coming close to fooling me, naturally.”

“Hmmm,” considered Navy.  “If they’re being that sneaky then they must suspect we’re here.  We’ve lost the element of surprise.”

“There’s more than one way to take somepony by surprise,” said Stone Hoof.  “They probably think we’ll try to creep up on them.  So,  we storm right at them instead.  It’ll be the last thing they expect.  We should be able to completely bowl them over.”

“Alright, finally some action.”  Rainbow had trouble restraining her enthusiasm enough to whisper.  “Hit ‘em hard and fast.  My kind of plan.”

“Do we really want to charge across the dungeon completely blind?” asked the Mayor.

“Oh, please yes,” said Professor Heart.  “I can’t imagine a better plan.”


#


Pinkie Pie stepped off the stairs and immediately began shuffling her legs as if her hooves itched.  “We aren’t alone,” she said.

“Eeyup,” agreed Big Mac.  His ears twitched.  “They think they’re being quiet, but I hear them.”

Twilight frowned.  “If they’re trying not to make noise then they probably expect us.  We won’t take them by surprise.”

“Then perhaps we shouldn’t try,” whispered Mustang.  “We could compensate for the loss of surprise with momentum and brute force.  And a full charge and frontal assault would actually come as a surprise.”

“Alright, finally some action.”  It took all of Skye’s limited restraint to not shout for joy.  “This sneaking around has been driving me crazy.”

“Somehow, this does not sound like a good idea,” grumbled Relic.

“Are you kidding?” whispered one of the Chick brothers.  “This is the perfect thing to do.”

The other brother added, under his breath, “From our point of view, that is.”


#


At opposite ends of the dungeon soft sounds that might have been light steps were replaced by the thunderous sound of charging hooves.  In the dark ponies found their targets by sound, and bore down upon them.  There was soon much too much momentum built up for anything to stop this encounter.

From both sides a battle cry rang out.

“For Adventure!!!”

“Wait?  What?!”


#


“Shadow, have you seen the ‘Ambush Raiders’?” asked Quiz.  “I have a special task for Angel.”

“I saw the kids dragging something across the park a while ago,” Shadow answered.  “I think it was some nets.  I haven’t seen them since.”

“Bother.  One of us really should be keeping track of them.  They are quite frightening when unsupervised.”

“Yeah, I can hardly wait to ask my Dad what it was like to ride herd on them all night.”  Shadow grinned, but this quickly turned into a frown.  “Actually, what I most want to do is make them go back to wherever they lost my Dad and get him!”

They were interrupted by a shout from Diamond Tiara.  “How about this one, Madam Mayor?”  She and Silver were standing near a small cage.

Alexander answered for Quiz.  “You had best just leave them be, girls.  They won’t be of much help.  Tonight they will most likely be exhausted.”

Something in the cage must have sensed that the two fillies were near-by and called out.

“Oogie, oogie, oogie!”

“Galumpalumps!”  Silver and Diamond shrieked, and bolted.

“Well, that is interesting,” noted Quiz.


#


“Just what the Hay are y’all doing?!”

From an open hall that ran around the edge of the dungeon Rarity and the other unicorns from the green team used their horns to shine light down on the dungeon floor.  The ponies viewed the scene below them with a mixture of puzzlement and mirth; except for Applejack, who scowled.

Across the dungeon very embarrassed ponies picked themselves up, dusted themselves off, and tried to act casual as they backed away from other very embarrassed ponies.  Most avoided eye contact, especially with the witnesses above them.

“Nice moves, Sky,” said Rainbow Dash, giving the other pegasus a pat on the back.  “You might have taken a less awesome pony than me.  But since it was me you never had a chance.”

Sky snorted.  “I was about to turn it on you and take you out, Dash.  I just needed another second.”

Rainbow blew a raspberry.  “In your dreams!”

“I think you two are still missing the point,” called Applejack.

“Pinkie, get off of me!”  came a muffled cry.  Pinkie Pie looked down to see that she had Twilight Sparkle pinned flat against the floor.

“Oopsie!  Sorry, Twilight.  My bad.”  Pinkie moved to help her friend up.

“What were you doing, anyway?  We’re on the same team!”

“We’ll,  yeah, but in all fairness, Twilight, the other team is kinda on the same team as us, too!”

Twilight answered with an inarticulate grumble.

“Here, Sir,” said Stone Hoof, offering Mustang his helmet.  Stone had knocked it off Mustang’s head during the short conflict.  “Very sorry about that.”

“We all make mistakes, young colt.”  Mustang touched the spot on his jaw where Stone had clocked him.  There was going to be a bruise soon.  “Actually, that was quite an impressive shot.  Have you ever considered a career with the Guard?”

“Help!” cried Mayor Mare.  She was tangled in some huge, metal contraption.  “I’m stuck in an ancient torture device!  Little help, please?”

Several ponies ran to free the Mayor.  Among them was Twilight, who helpfully pointed out, “That was an exercise machine, Mayor.”

“That changes my opinion of it not at all!”

“Okay, just explain one thing to me.  We came up the stairs in the storm drains.  Twi’s gang must have come up a different set of stairs.”  Dash glared up at the green team.  “Just where did you guys come from?”

“We came in the front door, darling,” said Rarity.  “We began traveling overland as soon as we were sure it was safe to leave those awful tunnels.”

“And you didn’t find anything?!” demanded Rainbow.

Applejack shook her head.  “Not a hide nor hair of any pony or anything.  From the look of things this castle hasn’t been entered since the night Nightmare Night returned.”

“Are you kidding me?!”  Rainbow stomped her hooves and fluttered her wings in frustration.  “If we didn’t find them below and you didn’t find them upstairs then where are the kids?  Where are the diamond dog?  Where is everybody?!”

“Well, we knew they had to be somewhere near the castle so they could use it for a landmark,” said Twilight.  “It’s the only usable landmark in the Forest.  But assuming they would be in the castle might have been jumping to conclusions, a bit.  They could be anyplace where they can see the castle.”

“You mean like there?”  Fern was standing alone in a corner of the hall.  She pointed to a small window that overlooked the Forest.  Several ponies ran to see what Fern was looking at.

Far below the castle mount, on the Forest floor, what seemed to be a clearing stood lit by torches.

“Yes, that’s it.  Congratulations, you actually found the villain's base,”  Professor Coal Heart said, his voice dripping with contempt.  He stood at the top of the only stairway out of the dungeon.  The Chick Brothers stood behind him.

“This knowledge will not do you any good, however.”  Professor Heart reached out and with a hoof tip jauntily knocked a candle from its sconce.

Immediately a heavy iron portcullis crashed down in front of him.  It completely sealed the stairway.  Iron rods fell into place, blocking all the windows around the hall.  The ponies were all trapped in the dungeon.


#


“How about that spot?”  asked Dinky, pointing to a pile of rubble that might once have been the top of a stairway.

Before any of the other Ambush Raiders could answer her a high, squeaky voice called out, “Children, stay back!”  This was followed by the gravelly cry “Timber!”

A tree fell over, landing so that it perfectly blocked the opening Dinky had been pointing to.

Three heads popped up over the edge of the hole the fallen tree’s root bole had left.

“Who needs a saw when one can just undermine, eh, children?” said Dagget.

“You came back!  I knew you wouldn’t just leave us!” cried Pipsqueak.  He ran to the diamond dogs and tried to hug them around the neck.  He caught Alpha and Digger, but Dagget managed to jump out of Pip’s reach.

“There is no time for this silliness.  You have nets to set, and you have no idea where to do it,” said Dagget.  “Luckily, you have us to show you the way.”

“Most of the diamond dogs will try to flee up the largest remaining set of steps.  I will show you where that is,” said Alpha.

“Just in case, we will block as many of the other exits as we can,” said Digger.  “That will force even more dogs into your nets.”

“Thank you, thank you all,” cried Angel.  “But… why are you helping us?”

The trio just looked at each other, unable to find the words to answer her.  Finally, Dagget spoke.  “We are tired of being bad dogs.  It no longer makes us happy.  Actually, come to think of it, following Chief Bowser never ever made us happy.  We like you guys much better.”

There could be only one response to this.

“Ambush Raiders, Huzzah!!!”


#


“None of this would have been necessary if you had just once, just once, listened any of the many times I suggested we turn around and go home,” said Professor Heart.

“They wouldn’t listen to us either, Boss,” said one of the Chicks.

Professor Heart ignored him.  “You left me no choice but to lead you here.  But that still works for me.  There is no place in all Equestria better suited for keeping you all out of my mane.”

“Errrrr!” growled Rainbow.  She charged straight at the portcullis, and a fraction of a second later Sky was right behind her.  They crashed into the iron bars, bounded off, and went tumbling down the stairs.

Twilight teleported, but reappeared on the wrong side of the barrier.  She also bounced off the iron and tumbled down the stairs.

Professor Heart didn’t even flinch.  “Really, escape is quite impossible.  This trap was built by alicorn princesses with the intent of catching alicorn princesses.  Sadly, the young princesses only wanted to trick each other.  They were only playing.  So, the dungeon has no way to flood it, or fill it with poison gas, or any other proper death trap I could use to do away with you all.  It hardly counts as a dungeon at all.  While I have you right where I want you, I can’t actually do anything about you.  I detest leaving witnesses, but what can I do?  And so you have forced me to reveal myself.  Congratulations.  Few ponies have managed even that.”

“Professor Heart, how could you?” cried Rarity.

“How could I?  My dear, this is exactly what I do.  Villainy is all that I do.  And I must say, I do it very well.”

“But you write Daring Do fanfic!” yelled Rainbow.  She appeared close to tears.

“Oh, I’ll probably still do that.  A stallion should have a hobby, after all.  I’ll just need a new pen name.  But that’s hardly a bother, I’ve created so many aliases in my career it’s become a challenge to remember them all.”

“So, what exactly are you doing?” asked Applejack.

“Poaching,  I employ Chief Bowser’s diamond dogs to harvest the Everfree’s forest products, and I sell them on the black market.  And, let me assure you, business is good.  In my time I’ve had a hoof in every conceivable criminal enterprise, and this is the most lucrative endeavor I have ever happened across.  The secret is volume.  I must move tremendous amounts of goods.  Luckily, I’m not very concerned with conservation.”

“You’ll never get away with it!” shouted Autumn.

Professor Heart chuckled.  “I knew one of you would eventually say that.  But I’d have bet good bits that it was going to be the Mayor.”

“Shut up, Professor.”

“Um… boss?” said one of the Chicks.  “Shouldn’t we be going?”

“Oh, give me this moment, will you?  How often do you get a captive audience like this?  Now I know why villains do these monologues.  This is good fun.  Oh, and since we’re discussing cliches you should like this one.  The butler did it.  My first job was as a gentlecolt’s gentlecolt to an art professor who dabbled in crime on the side.  I soon took his place and surpassed him in every way.”

“What?” exclaimed Mustang.  “Are you saying you are the infamous ‘Professor More Tea’?”

“Why yes, Captain Mustang, I am.  And you are the only agent of the law to get this close to me and survive.  Now, where was I?  Oh, right, ‘my nefarious plan.’  Now, when I said that the diamond dogs harvest the Forest for me I meant that in the same sense as a plague of locusts harvests crops.  They’re very productive.  And it just keeps getting better and better - for me.  With everything I steal or destroy I create rarity.  Rarity just means the prices I can demand keep going up.”

“But it can’t last,” moaned Twilight, finally picking herself up from where she had landed at the foot of the stairs.

“No, but it’s a big forest.  I can easily have the diamond dogs effectively stripmine the place until long after I’ve grown weary of it all and retired.  Actually, I plan to have them do just that.  I won’t be saving anything for the next generation, of course, but what of it?  I don’t have any children.”

“So that’s your plan?” asked Relic.  “You are going to be King of the Everfree Forest?”

“No, I think that idea shows a lack of ambition,” answered Professor Heart.  “I am the Emperor of the Everfree Forest.”

“Um… now, Boss?”  The Chick brothers had shuffling their feet and talons impatiently through the monologue.

“Yes, now.”  Professor Heart found a flare gun in his bag, and fired it out a window.  “Good night to you all.  I’ve just called my ride, and I must hurry off.”

With that, the Chicks each grabbed a strap of Professor Heart’s saddle bag, and flew with him up the stairs and out of the castle.