Chapter 16 Interesting Questions
Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom
Chapter 16 Interesting Questions
“Leave it to Quiz-ik-al to make a lost city boring,” grumbled Diamond Tiara.
“All I did was see the city realistically, as it is,” protested Quiz. “I also do not understand why you now think it is boring. I find it quite interesting. For example, there is this tunnel we are using now. The city’s inhabitants used underground boulevards such as this to get about. Compare this with the city planners of Canterlot who have included no underground features like this. Perhaps the practice was abandoned because Princess Celestia desired to stay in the sunshine…”
“I rest my case,” groaned Diamond. “Boring.”
“I thought we have all had quite enough excitement of late,” replied Quiz. “I should have thought better.”
“There’s no such thing as too much excitement, Quizzie,” laughed Shadow.
“We shall have to agree to disagree,” said Quiz. “But if you are growing restless may I point out that we should soon have to deal with Chief Bowser. You will find the Chief very accommodating. He will be delighted to endanger our lives in exciting ways.”
Quiz did not laugh at her own joke, though all the rest of them did.
“So, what bores you, Quizzie?” asked Shadow.
“Hmmm?” Quiz frowned. “That is an interesting question, one I have never considered before…”
There was a long pause.
“Quizzie?”
“I am still contemplating your question, Shadow.”
“Oh, come on!” gasped Shadow. “Something bores all of us. It usually leaps right to mind.”
Quiz shook her head. “Nothing occurs to me.”
“That can’t be right,” snapped Diamond Tiara. “You hang out with the Cutie Mark Catastrophes! That’s got to get boring.”
“No, not at all,” answered Quiz. “Since moving to Ponyville I have been exposed to many dubious varieties of ‘fun,’ and my feelings about that have ranged from puzzled to terrified. But bored? No, never.”
“Don’t you have a least favorite subject in school?”
“Quiz does extra credit homework for fun, Shadow,” said Silver. “For all subjects.”
“What about chores? You must have at least one you can’t stand.”
“I am not bothered by any task I am asked to do.”
“Some ponies take advantage of her,” said Silver, very softly. “And ask Quiz to do work they don’t want to do. She’ll do it if you ask her nicely.”
“You could probably get her to take care of those grubs for you, Shadow,” snickered Diamond.
“Actually, cataloguing specimens does sound interesting…”
Diamond interrupted Quiz with a derisive snort that echoed through the tunnel. “If you took Quiz to a beach she’d get a pair of tweezers and start counting the sand!”
“I would not,” objected Quiz. “I could not ever finish such a task. I do hate to leave anything unfinished.”
Shadow stared at Quiz. “That’s the only reason you wouldn’t count the sand?”
“It is the first reason that comes to mind,” answered Quiz.
“So…” began Shadow, incredulously. “So nothing ever bores you, Quizzie?”
“Nothing that I can recall, no.”
Diamond Tiara laughed so hard she had to put a hoof against a wall to keep from stumbling. “I love it! The secret to never being bored is to be boring!”
“This is actually quite interesting,” mused Quiz. She completely ignored Diamond. “I shall have to make a note of this...um, I will do that later, Shadow.”
“Shhhhh!” Shadow suddenly hissed, and pointed.
Not far up the tunnel someone, or something, was shining a light down through a grate on the ceiling.
“Di, Silvy, you stay here,” whispered Shadow. “Quizzie and I will sneak up to take a look… Quizzie!” He finished in a stage whisper. “What are you doing.”
Quiz casually walked up to the light. She stopped under it and looked up. “Hello?”
“Hi, Quiz!”
The bright, cheerful voice calling to them from above was not the last thing the foals expected to hear, but it was on the list of the top five.
“Dinky? I thought I recognized your golden magic aura,” said Quiz. “It is good to see you are free and safe. You are free and safe, correct?”
“Oh, sure, we’re fine. It’s good to see you, too.”
“I have so many questions, I do not know what to ask first...”
“Hay, didn’t you escape with my dad and some adults?” Shadow stalked into the light Dinky was casting. “My dad should have led you back to Ponyville by now. Where is my dad, anyway? Did you lose my dad someplace in the Forest?!”
“Oh, no, we left them someplace safe,” called Pip. Then he was overcome with a fit of the giggles. “Someplace safe. That’s funny!”
“Good one, Pip,” said Valory.
“It’s a long story,” said Dinky. “But a good story, and it has a good ending. We’ll tell you all about it when we can meet up.”
“I can imagine,” grumbled Shadow.
“Is it now safe to cast magic?” asked Quiz.
“Oh, yeah, it feels a lot better up here,” answered Dinky. “Before it felt like being locked in a little closet with the heat turned up. Now it feels more like a mildy humid day. The air’s a lot clearer.”
Angel climbed onto the grate. “Quiz? Dinky’s right, but there’s still a lot of extra magic in the air. It’s enough to throw your control off, but if you stick to spells you know well and don’t try anything fancy nothing should go too terribly badly wrong.”
“Thank you, Angel. I will exercise caution.”
“Let me get this straight,” snapped Diamond. “You little kids are alone up there?”
“No, we have our prisoners with us,” said Valory.
“Prisoners? Oh, dear. Oh, dear, dear, dear…”
“Yes, Miss Quizzical, and they’re taking us where we can intercept Bowser and rescue everypony!” cried Pip. “We’re the Ambush Raiders! Huzzah!”
“Huzzah!”
“Oh, dear. Oh, dear, dear, dear.”
“It’s another long story,” said Dinky. “I can hardly wait to tell you all about it! But, yeah, we’re off to save the day. Isn’t that exciting?”
“‘Exciting’ is one of many words that come to mind,” answered Quiz.
“Can your… prisoners? Can they give us directions, too?” asked Shadow.
“Certainly,” said Daggett. He leaned over the grate, next to Dinky. “Tell me, what is the last inscription you have seen?”
“We are just past the basement entrance to Darkstone Manor,” replied Quiz.
“Excellent!” called Daggett. “The tunnel you are in takes you directly there. Follow it to the end. You will find two large stairways. One is labeled ‘Darkstone Center’ and the other is ‘Princesses Park.’ You want the Park. At the top of the stairs are many ways up, find the one with the inscription ‘Bareback Falls.’ You will be at your destination. But beware! The landing zone is guarded. There will be only two or three dogs there, as Bowser needs all the rest to move his remaining product. But the the guards will be there. There are also many dangerous monsters. They are caged, but they are still dangerous. And when the customer arrives he will have many minions with him, and they are not nice ponies! Be very careful.”
“Thank you Mr. … Diamond Dog prisoner.”
“It is my honor to assist the Clever Pony,” said Daggett. “Now go. You must hurry.”
“Yes, I shall make haste.” Quiz headed up the tunnel at a gallop.
“Quiz, wait for us!” cried Shadow, as he and the fillies ran to catch Quiz.
Dinky watched through the grate, until the beige light from Quiz’s horn disappeared. She asked Daggett, “Does this mean they’ll get ahead of us? Is there any way to get down to that tunnel?”
“Oh, there are many entrances… oww!” began Digger, before Daggett silenced him with a surreptitious kick.
“Most of the stairs have fallen,” said Daggett. “We would waste too much time searching for a safe way down. It is best if we just continue as we have been going.”
“Fine,” snapped Pip. “But you have to get us there before Miss Quizzical gets into trouble!”
“Of course,” said Daggett, innocently.
#
“Quiz, why are we running?” cried Silver.
“To prevent the over-excited foals from getting into trouble,” answered Quiz. “Horrible, horrible trouble. The only way to prevent a catastrophe is if we get there and deal with the situation first.”
The four little ponies all ran a little faster.
#
“Why did you kick me?” whispered Digger, as he limped along beside Daggett. “And why did you lie? We have been using that tunnel for generations. There are many, many easy entrances.”
“You heard them,” hissed Daggett. “Our little ‘Ambush Raiders’ will cry ‘Huzzah!’ and charge right at Bowser’s pack. Then we get to watch as horrible, horrible things happen to them. That is a bit much, even for me.”
Digger shuddered so hard the pile of broken stones he was standing on clattered. “I cannot get mad enough at children to allow that, not even these children. But what do we do?”
“Did you not hear?” hissed Daggett. “The other little pony, the one we sent ahead, is the Quizzical. She is the clever pony that even Bowser worries about. Let her get there first, while we stall the young ones. We will take the long way there. Perhaps we will throw in some unscheduled detours as well.”
#
The four foals peeked over the top of a ruined stairwell. It had been a much quicker trip than Daggett had indicated, and Quiz and her companions now beheld the diamond dog’s “rendezvous point.”
A tremendous swath of the Forest had been cleared. Around the clearing’s perimeter were stacks of crates and sacks. There also appeared to be huge pots of plants. There were tall rectangular things, covered with cloth, that presumably held the caged monsters Daggett had warned them about.
The clearing ran right up to the edge of the ravine that ringed the Castle Mount. The ponies could just make out the silhouette of the Castle of the Two Pony Sister high above them. A small brook flowed over the ravine near them. Presumably, this was Bareback Falls.
There were only two diamond dogs guarding the place, and they never even looked towards the stairwell where the foals were hiding. Instead, the dogs busied themselves with the task of lighting torches. The clearing already blazed with torchlight, but dogs continued to light more.
Shadow retreated down the stairs to the first landing, and waved for the others to join him. “We need a plan. Preferably something more sophisticated than ‘Quiz and I sneak up and try to hit the guards with rocks.’”
“Quiz could distract them with a light spell,” suggested Silver. “We could sneak in while the guards investigate.”
Quiz shook her head. “A distraction is not enough. If we cannot disable the guards we must get them to flee.”
“Hay, Quizzie, could you do an illusion?” asked Shadow. “Something big and scarey that the guard dogs will run away from?”
Silver and Diamond laughed. Shadow demanded, “What’s so funny?”
Quiz hung her head. “I am quite good at some displays, bar graphs and pie charts mainly. But as far as producing a realistic illusion? I am artistically limited.”
“How limited?”
Silver Spoon answered for Quiz. “She draws stick figures.”
“Actually, that might work,” sneered Diamond. “Quiz could show them some of her graphs, then threaten to lecture them on Equestrian widget production over the last one hundred years. I know I’d run away!”
“That’s not helping, Di,” chided Shadow.
“I have, on many occasions, asked you for private instruction on drawing, Silver,” Quiz pointed out. “You have told me no each time.”
Silver looked pained. “Well… I am pretty busy…”
“Actually, you are afraid it would damage your status as one of the popular fillies if your friends saw you spending time with me.”
“That’s not… I don’t…” Silver turned to hide her face.
Shadow shuffled his hooves uncomfortably. Diamond glared at Quiz. Quiz just looked confused.
“I do not understand,” said Quiz. “I did not expect… Silver? Have I hurt your feelings?”
“No, no, it’s okay,” said Silver. She wiped something from her face. “I want to try something.”
Silver sat next to Quiz, and gently took one of Quiz’s legs and held it. “Let me guide your hoof. You cast the spell, and I’ll do the drawing.”
“To share a spell like that requires trust… But… Yes, I think that will work,” said Quiz. Her horn glowed. Silver drew the outline of something tall and hulking.
“Oh, this will work perfectly,” said Quiz, encouraging Silver on.
Together they built a scary monster.
#
Daggett stood on the broken cobbles that were all that remained of a street, and turned in place. “This has changed,” he said.
“What’s the matter, Mr. Daggett?” asked Valory.
“Please don’t tell us that you’re lost,” exclaimed Dinky.
“Not lost,” answered Daggett. “Just a bit disoriented. Trees grow, stone shifts and crumbles, you have to relearn the terrain every time you visit here. Give me a moment to get my bearings.”
“That hill of rubble might be the stadium,” offered Alpha.
“That is not the stadium, the stadium is behind us,” snapped Daggett.
“If the stadium is behind us then we are on what the old ponies called ‘Pratt Street.’” said Digger. He pointed. “And the landing zone is that way. But if Alpha is right about the stadium, then we are on ‘Green Street’ and the landing zone is way over there.”
Digger pointed with his other arm. His arms were at right angles.
“We could be on ‘Lombard.’ If so, we need to go this way.” Alpha pointed in a third direction.
“We are not on Lombard, because that is Darkstone Center.” Daggett pointed, then waved his arms in irritation. “Stop trying to confuse me!”
“Oh, that can’t be right,” said Alpha. “Those ruins are much too small for the Center. Hmmm, but if that is not the Center then I must be wrong about the Stadium…”
“Shouldn’t we just go to that light?” asked Dinky.
They all looked where she was pointing. Even through the thick forest they could see the blazing torchlight not far away.
“Oh,” muttered Daggett. “It will be lit so the customer can find it. I forgot.”
#
A towering monster loomed over the little ponies, it’s arms raised menacingly as if about to crush them.
“Wow, that came out really good,” exclaimed Shadow.
Silver and Quiz stood back to admire the result of their collaboration. “This is one of my favorite monsters from AD & D. It looks like it’s the right shape, but it’s made like a pile of weeds and debris, so the effect is familiar and alien at the same time. It’s really creepy.”
“May I say again how I admire your talent, Silver,” said Quiz. “It amazes me that you managed so much detail, in such a short time, all while using my leg as a stylus.”
“Don’t make it sound like you were just ‘the stylus,’” insisted Silver. “I know enough about magic to know it takes a lot of control to work with a partner the way we just did. Only the best unicorns can do that.”
“Fine, you admire each other, we get it!” grumbled Diamond. “Can we get on with this now? I want to use this thing so we can get it away from me. It creeps me out!”
They all climbed back up the stairs and peeked out again. The guards were still concentrating on lighting more torches.
“There,” whispered Silver, pointing. “That bush the wind is moving, make it appear behind that, Quiz. Then have it slowly approach the diamond dogs.”
“Very well. But remember, the image is static. I can move it around, but I cannot make the image itself move.”
“That’s fine. These things just kind of shamble around. If you rock the image a bit when you move it that should be convincing.”
Quiz nodded, then focused on the bush that was her target. But before she could adjust her spell and send the illusion into place the diamond dogs pointed up and screamed.
They were pointing to the head of a gigantic timber wolf, which looked down on them from the top of the tree line. Still screaming, the diamond dogs ran for their lives.
“Girls, back down the stairs!” ordered Shadow. “It’s too big to chase us down there… wait, now what’s happening?”
As soon as the diamond dog’s cries faded in the distance the sound of their screams was replaced by high pitched laughter. The timber wolf disappeared with a faint pop.
Four little foals tumbled out of the tree’s and into the clearing. They were laughing so hard they couldn’t stand, and instead rolled on the ground helplessly.
“What…? What just happened?” cried Silver.
“It is Angel,” answered Quiz. “Her illusion spells are much better than mine. It appears the ‘Ambush Raiders’ have caught up with us.”
“But our monster looked so good!” wailed Silver. “I wanted to use it, I wanted to scare the diamond dogs! This is so not fair!”
“I bet we could use it to scare the kids,” suggested Diamond. She giggled. “It would serve those brats right. It’d certainly be a lot of fun.”
Quiz shook her head. “They might run and hide in the Forest, and we would have to find them again. I am sorry you are disappointed, Silver. I am disappointed as well. But the best I can do is commit as much of our illusion to memory as I can, and perhaps save it for another time.”
Quiz’s horn stopped glowing, and the monster disappeared.
“Um, shouldn’t we get out there now?” asked Shadow. “Before the kids start opening cages or poking things with sticks?”
The fillies followed Shadow into the clearing. The younger foals were already peeking under the sheet covering one of the cages.
They appeared to be trying to speak to the cage’s occupant.
Dinky waved when she noticed them. “Hi, Quiz, hi guys. Glad you could make it. Look! We found Zecora!”
“I don’t think she’s feeling very well,” said Pip.
As Quiz and the others approached they heard a rich, musical voice sing out. “Who is there? As if I care.”
Quiz went to the cage door and looked in. It was indeed their friend the zebra mystic. Zecora was lying on her back, and she seemed to find something fascinating about her hooves.
“Miss Zecora, we are here to help,” said Quiz. “Please tell us what is the mater.”
“Why all your stares? I have no cares.” Zecora laughed. “Oh, dear, am I going crazy? Rhyming ‘care’ twice in a row? Perhaps I’m only lazy?”
“Wow, your friend is really out of it,” exclaimed Shadow.
“Twinkle, twinkle, little bat,” said Zecora. “Like a tea tray in the sky. Woah, did I just miss a line?”
“What’s wrong with her?” asked Angel.
“She has been fed tainted honey, to make her more cooperative.” The answer came from a nearby covered cage.
At the word ‘honey’ a portable bee hive next to Zecora’s cage began to buzz laconically. Zecora hummed along with their droning.
Diamond went to confront whoever had spoken to them, throwing the covers at the front of the cage aside. “Look, you joker, you better give us some straight answers… What are you?!”
The being inside the cage had the body of an enormous lion, and the torso and face of some other creature. Its curly hair and beard were glossy black but shot with grey, and grew all the way to it’s paws. It frowned at Diamond.
“The polite question to ask a fellow intelligent person is ‘Who are you’ not ‘What.’ My name is Alexander. But, since you asked, I am a sphinx.”
“Wow!” gasped Shadow. “Sir, It’s an honor. I’ve always wanted to meet a sphinx.”
“Thank you. You are the young naturalist, aren’t you?” When Shadow nodded, Alexander added, “I have heard of you and your father’s work from many of the other creatures. They think quite highly of you. The diamond dogs, on the other paw, complain about how you are always getting in the way of their work. They don’t like you at all. To my mind, that is a glowing testament in your favor.”
Shadow grinned. “Thank you, Sir.”
“I am allowed to grant you one bit of free advice,” said Alexander. “Let it be this. As it is night, the hive should soon go back to sleep. But if they become active they will offer you their honey. Do not accept this kind offer. The bees are Lysergic acid bumblidea, and you will soon find yourselves in the same state as your zebra friend if you consume their honey.”
“Thank you, Mr. Alexander,” said Quiz. “I also am honored to meet you.”
The sphinx studied Quiz with great curiosity. He squinted at her, then cocked his head and stared. He stuck his nose through the bars of his cage and sniffed. Quiz couldn’t help but retreat a few steps while under Alexander’s intense scrutiny.
“Young miss, I find something about you familiar,” said Alexander. “By any chance is your name ‘Darkstone’?”
“No, Sir. My name is Quizzical Greystone.”
"Ahhh," said Alexander. "That explains it."
"Explains what?" demanded Diamond. "I distinctly remember telling you that we wanted answers..."
“Di, hush!” hissed Shadow. “A sphinx needs to be treated with respect.”
“Well, first there is the small matter of the riddle,” said Alexander. He pointedly ignored Diamond. “As an enchanted being I am bound by magical rules. I cannot tell you anything until you have answered a riddle. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. But it’s really little more than a formality. Since I actually want to tell you everything I know I shall give you an easy one. Please choose one of you to be the answerer, and we can get this out of the way.”
“You do it, Quizzie,” said Shadow. “He seems to like you.”
“I agree,” said Silver. “Quiz will know the answer. If she doesn’t then neither does any of us.”
“Very well,” said Quiz. “Please ask me your riddle, Mr. Alexander.”
Alexander chuckled. “I did promise you an easy one. Here it is. Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Everypony laughed as soon as Alexander began the old joke. Everypony save one.
“Um… may I have a hint?” asked Quiz.
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The second half of this rather good chapter is centered starting at:
“Wow, that came out really good,” exclaimed Shadow.
6230878 Thank you. Fixed it.
I only knew this updated because it was in the featured box....
Why was that sphinx there? And is Zecora high?
Oh... that ending... What happens if you give a wrong answer?
I think you missed a line of Diamond Tiara's dialogue between “No, Sir. My name is Quizzical Greystone.” and “Di, hush!”...
Typo:
"dear dear"
I think you need another comma?
Um, I think something is missing.
6231053
6231054
The missing bit is
“Ahhh,” said Alexander. “That explains it.”
“Explains what?” demanded Diamond. “I distinctly remember telling you that we wanted answers…”
I'm not sure how this got deleted, but I'll fix it, and all the typos. But I don't want to "unpublish" when there are so many readers.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Who you callin' chicken?
6231081
You can edit and add the missing text without having to unpublish the whole chapter...
Oh dear. It would seem the joke's -
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
- on Quiz here.
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As a kite, it seems.
Wow, Quiz. Rudest thing I've seen you say to a pony in the entire series. And you've had your moments. Way to be so presumptuous about a pony. Not like Silver has after school activities or responsibilities at home.
That bit there might be good material for a later one-shot or short storwith Silver and Quizzy. If it isn't touched on later with Diamond running her mouth when they get some alone time about what a nasty thing to say about her bestie. And whose to say what Silver's parents are like. Loving maybe, but possibly strict in many ways. *wags finger disappointedly at Quiz.*
Loved this chapter. The Diamond Dogs scene was fun. And Dinks and the gang as cute as ever.
Dinky lied to her mom??
This is how it starts, next she'll be taking joy rides in stolen wagons! Or worse!! Smoking!
WHY, OH WHY, DO GOOD PONYS GO BAD!?!?!
I blame that damn rocking and rolling music foals listen to nowadays.
Cant wait to see what the Ambush Raiders do next.
And now I'm reading your lines in Pigglet's voice.
...
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It's because the honey comes from LS Bees.
I wonder how the Sphinx magic actually works... Something about a certain number of free answers?
Alexander gave the answer to What / Who is is, and what happened to Zecora... I guess the first 2 are free, and the third isn't?