Dang O' Ponies, I Tell You What

by LtMajorDude

Meeting up with Hank (and His Success)

Twilight's Library

The next day

Hank was busy working on a familiar invention outside the library.

Twilight was rubbing her chin and trying to figure out how his invention worked.

Dale and Bill walked towards the library and smirked when they realized what Hank was building.

"Building a propane grill, Hank?" Dale said.

Hank smirked. "Yup. Managed to learn how to make a grill thanks to Kahn's super robot grill."

Bill blinked. "I didn't know that they had a propane here in Equestria!"

Hank chuckled, "Well about that..."

---

Earlier...

Hank opened the door and walked in the library, followed by Twilight and Spike. They were all covered in mud, Hank had broken glasses and honey on his face, Twilight's mane was messed up and had twigs sticking out, and Spike had tree sap on his back. Hank went to a table and put down three jars of crude oil he found in the Everfree forest. Hank didn't know how or why crude oil was found in a plant in a forest, but he didn't care, as long as he would make propane.

"Even when I crashed into the bee hive and broke my glasses" Hank said blankly, "I still can't believed that we outran that bear..."

Twilight sighed as she took out a twig out of her mane. "I knew we should have taken Fluttershy." she said.

Spike walked to the bathroom for a bubble bath. "I hope this 'pro-pain' is worth all the trouble" he grumbled.

"Try not to stay in the bathtub too long, Spike!" Twilight yelled as she turned to Hank. "So what now?" she asked. "You got the ingredients, so how do you make this propane?"

"Read the book" Hank replied, "I'll make it as you go along."

Twilight looked at the propane section and said to Hank, "Uh Hank?"

"Yeah?" he said as he took off his broken glasses.

"Uhh..." Twilight said with a worried look. "It only talks about what's in propane, not how to make it."

Hank stood there with widen eyes before it turned to angry eyes as he slammed his hoof on the table.

"DAMMIT!" he yelled. "THAT STUPID BOOK DOESN'T EVEN SAY HOW TO MAKE PROPANE?-!-?-!"

Twilight backed away with a scared look on her face. Spike came in with a towel wrapped around him. He heard the yelling want wanted to know what happened.

"I'M COVERED IN MUD, HONEY, AND MY GOD-DANG GLASSES ARE BROKEN!" Hank shouted, wishing in his mind that his glasses would be fixed.

To his surprise, a magical force surround Hank's glasses and, in an instant, they were fixed.

Hank blinked. "Now how the hell..." he whispered before he realized he was a unicorn, "Oh right...I can use magic, I mean, I AM a unicorn......Magic...MAGIC!" he shouted.

He stepped a few steps back and gulped as he pointed his horn to the jars. "Here goes nothing..." he said as he shot a beam to the jars.

Twilight and Spike stood there, wondering what Hank was doing. Hank stood there, gritting his teeth and closing his eyes as sweat began to drip from his head.

Eventually, an exhausted Hank stopped the beam and fell down. As he sat down on the floor panting, and slowly looked up to the table.

His eyes suddenly widen as he saw a familiar liquid in the jars.

"PROPANE!" he shouted with joy, "I USED MAGIC TO MAKE PROPANE!"

Hank began to jump around happily as Twilight and Spike just stared at him.

---

Now...

Hank chuckled before turning to Twilight. "Sorry about the yelling." Twilight smiled. "None taken." she said.

"Ugh, look here, mah boy's trying to lawn jockey Ms. Twilight's home" Cotton muttered as he walked towards the library.

Twilight looked confused about the grill Hank was building.

"Propane Grill?" she said with a raised eyebrow "What's that?"

Hank stopped building and explained for a while what propane is, what it can be used for, the grill, how it can grill food.

When Hank just mentioned meats, Bill realized something.

"Uh Hank? I don't think you tell Twi about steak." he whispered to Hank.

Hank looked confused.

"Why not?" he asked Bill.

Then he realized that in Equestria, there were no such things as steaks, or porks, or stuff like that.

Hank looked sad. Bill put a hoof on his shoulder.

"Sorry Hank. But we're ponies. They eat hay, flowers, veggies, you know, pony food."

Hank realized something.

"Maybe I can use my grill to grill pony food!" he said with a smile.

"There you go Hank!" Bill said with a smile.

"Sheesh. Its 7:00 AM and you rednecks already working?" Kahn shouted as he walked towards Hank.

Hank frowned. Kahn was really a pain in the ass. Also, it's not even 7:00 AM, it just still looks sunny.

"Kahn really needs a watch or something," Hank muttered.

"Dang o' yo man" Boomhauer said as he walked towards his friends.

He was wearing a nice tuxedo with a red tie.

His friends just looked at him, both Dale and Cotton trying to hold their laughter.

Twilight blushed. "Oh um nice suit Boomhauer" she said looking away to hide her blushing face.

Boomhauer smirked. "I tell you what man, dang o' Rarity made this for me man yo. Makes me dang ol' Dos Equis I tell you what man dang ol' stay thirsty my friends yo." he said.

Cotton could no longer hold his laughter as he fell to the floor laughing.

Bill just frowned. "I wanted Rarity to make me a dress, shame she didn't get her own episode in Season 3," he muttered.

Hank just rolled his eyes and continued working on his grill.

Cotton walked up to Hank.

"Hey Hank guess what? There's this red horse who says 'Yup' like you. Big Macintosh" Cotton said with a bit of disappointment in his voice.

Hank raised his eyebrow. Sounds like someone he can have a beer.

The thought of the lack of beer Equestria made Hank upset.

"I could use a drink" he muttered as he continued to build the grill.

Bill smiled. "We could go out for some juice." he suggested.

His friends just looked at him strangely...

...and actually thought it was a good idea.

---

Nighttime

Hank and his friends (except Cotton and Kahn, who were reading some of the books in Twilight's library) stood outside Twilight's library with bottles of juice. They were standing in the same way they did in Earth.

"Yup"

"Yup"

"Yup"

"Mmm hmm"

They just stood outside not saying a word.

Hank spoke up. "Boy I tell you what, I would really like to meet this Big Macintosh" he said.

Bill laughed. "I bet you two will get along!" he said.

Hank just smirked as he sipped his bottle of juice.

---

As Twilight, Cotton, and Kahn are reading books, Cotton just narrowed his eyes as he read a book about Ponyville history.

"I'm watching you Clifford the Big Red Dog." he muttered with a dark tone, "I don't trust ya or yer big green apple on yer ass..."

Comments

[Jayellow]

A King of the Hill crossover?
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/295/561/d99

[Jayellow]

Okay, I'm following this for the originality of it. Overall, I'd say you need to work on making sure everything is grammatically correct. For example, make sure to always capitalize the word "I." I saw a lot of instances of that word not being capitalized, especially for some reason whenever Cotton would talk.

[LtMajorDude]

2145105
I can't help but think that Cotton wouldn't speak PERFECT English, so that's why I don't capitalize the I when he talks. But now that you mentioned it, Boomhauer talks IMPERFECT English, and yet I capitalize the I when he talks...

[Jayellow]

2145129
There is a difference between purposeful poor grammar for speech and just plain bad grammar. When breaking grammar rules for speech, what is said has to actually sound different than what would be correct. However, a lower case i sounds the same as an uppercase one. Therefore, using lower case i's to show poor grammar in speech is pointless. If you were actually talking to them, would you be able to hear whether or not the i was capitalized?

That's what you have to ask yourself when writing dialogue of any kind, really. What would this line sound like if the character were actually in front of me speaking it?

[LtMajorDude]

2145153
OK OK I'll try to fix the grammar next time...

[Paladin Redflare]

Yup

[Arkybrony]

I USED MAGIC TO MAKE PROPANE!