• Published 27th Jan 2013
  • 3,911 Views, 57 Comments

Lyra's Grand human hunt - -Twilight

Lyra is on a hunt. A human has been living in ponyville for about 3 months in hiding from her and her alone. and now Lyra is determined to capture this human and have the Q&A she has been dreaming of since fillyhood.

  • ...

Lyra Puts her royal hoof down!

~The story thus far.

"I've always had an Undying interest in anthropomorphic creatures like Minotaurs and Apes but never have I met they're Predecessors."

"They'll call me....Lyra van Strings!"

"Then what of me? What will happen to me once I'm officially captured?"

"Yes Lyra, magic. Humans used to have powerful magical abilities back then."

"h-how is that possible, my books they all said- And they were wrong? "

"Wh-what is that? inside the sack? Is that some of your magic anon?"

"Oh yes, this old thing. This is the MAGIC BAND OF GORGENTHAR invented by my great great grandfather Issac Clarke who suffered from minor Dementia "

"Alas there seems to be something wrong with it"

I'm going to get you out of here with teleportation but the thing is, teleporting someone else somewhere will take a bit of time, your going to have to stall them to stay outside.

"Come on, I told you this was garbage, Lets go."

"Alright, I have made the magic band work!" observe as I entertain you for a little longer!"

"I'm almost done, one more trick should do make it a big one."

"Alright, anon ready when you are." Twilight said.

"and for my final closing act, I shall make myself disappear!"

"I don't know how he did it, he just.... poof!"

"I'll get you next time anon, next time!"

~ Present time~

The serene silence of the library was interrupted by a large, fabric ripping portal opening in the center of the room.
Such a thing was common In twilight's living room so spike, who was reading a book on the couch next to the portal organized operation B-13. Spike grabbed a bat which was behind the couch and readied himself to hit whoever or what ever came out In the face, thinking it was a intergalactic pony thief he aimed his bat to where a head would usually be on a pony. unfortunately that same spot is also a particular part of a human.

Out of the portal came two entities cloaked in black, (since it takes about 12 seconds to regain your color after exiting a portal) Spike, not prepared for two, swung his bat expecting to hit them both at once.
The pony silhouette saw this just in time.

"Spike no!" The silhouette said while ducking under the bats swing, however the second silhouette was not as lucky.

Despite all spike's effort to stop the bat, it was too late. The bat neared its target and impacted against the second silhouette's crotch.

~Anon's Pov~

"Well, damn." you take a moment to say before falling to the floor writhing in pain. "Damn it spike! why did you do that?"
Twilight shouted to spike.

"You told me to! operation B-13 remember?"

"In the event that a seemingly inter-dimensional portal was to open in the living room I was to ready myself with a bat and aim for the head, and if its bipedal, probably the crotch." Spike recites. "Remember we did this before when Anon first arrived?"

You don't believe any of this, except for the fact that this happened twice now. This time spike did it on purpose.
"Bull Poop" you cry out "your a liar, you obviously did that on purpose!" you say finally standing, well not really, your on your knees and hands right now.

"Why would I do that on purpose anon?" Spike said, trying to sound innocent.

"because you enjoy being a little brat to me"

"Anon! that was completely unn-"

"Well so what If I enjoy it? what are you going to do about it?" spike said getting up in your face.

Got him~

"Absolutely nothing, but I'm sure twilight has something to say about this though."

Spikes facial expression dropped to one of worry. he slowly turned his head to see a more than angry twilight right behind him.

o-oh hi twilight I didn-

"Don't you oh hi twilight me!" how could you be some rude to our guest. what has he ever done to you?"

"Absolutely nothing" you add into before he gets too.

"And you anon, zip it. your still in the same boat he is right now!"

You have never seen twilight so angry before, When she want ponies to be friends she will go though all effort to make it happen, even to the point of aggression. she's worst than pinkie pie.

"Now both of you, go to your rooms and think about this!"

"What? why? you can't tell me to go to my room, I'm not your kid!" you say in defiance.

Twilight turns to you with a sharp glare, since you were still on your knees from the "incident" twilight seemed taller than you. you glared into her soul sucking purple eyes for a bit before she finally spoke up.

"Do you want to sleep outside? I'm sure Lyra is going to add Extra precaution If she captures you again, and I won't be there to save you."

You started up a reply but you stop realizing she was right.

You and spike slowly nod. You get up on two's again and drag yourself up the stairs.

"emasculated by a tiny purple unicorn.... Great..." you mumble

"You get used to It" spike replies equally with a mumble.

-Twilight's Pov- 10 mins later

Watching Anon and spike drag themselves up the stairs gave you a tingling feeling of dominance and victory.
You were going to celebrate your metaphorical victory over a good read when suddenly another portal opened up.
You grab the bat that was left on the floor by spike and ready it. from the portal came a black silhouette unicorn.
well, what came out was a black silhouette unicorn. now its a green unicorn sprawled across the floor with a bat to its side

"Oh my Celestia its Lyra! I'm so sorry." you apologize, helping Lyra to her hooves.

"Don't be" Lyra replies

"I'm here for the human"

"Um how about no."

Lyra conjures up a paper and begins writing on it, when she finished she tossed it to you and teleported away.

You pick up the scroll and examine it for any tricks or explosive spell glyphs, after finding none you open it and begin reading.

Dear Twilight.... GIVE ME THE HUMAN
If do you not comply I will be forced to add legal and royal action onto this situation, and believe me, they'll listen.

You were slightly taken aback from this, for duration of Anon living here, the whole town has kept his existence a secret from any other city and even the princess, how will she react to the fact we've been hiding this from her. she might start experimenting on him. but then Lyra wouldn't get to. why would she risk that? you continue to read the scroll.

If I can't have him, no one can.
Best wishes, Lyra von Heartsrings.

Well that explains the Royal part but you are forced to wonder what the legal part Is.

~BonBon's Pov~ 5 Prior to the teleportation.

"Bonbon I'm going out!" Lyra cries out to you.

"Ugh not again" you say to yourself.

"You better not be hunting for that human again!" You cry out in reply.

"Not this time Bonnie" she replies. You drop your cake batterer in shock making a loud clatter noise.

"Wow over do it much." Lyra replies entering the Kitchen with you.

"T-then who are you hunting Lyra?" You reply.

"Bonnie I'm insulted! Must I always be hunting something. I'm simply delivering a message to Twilight."

"Is it about the human Lyra?" you reply in a deadpan.

"Y-yes but listen It's important!, do you remember what I used to do before I became a street performer?" Lyra asks you; sounding much more serious now.

"Uh, yea you worked In the castle as, what was it? a scientist? " you replied.

"Exactly, a royal scientist..." Lyra replies looking quite proud of herself.


"So?" you reply.

"SO, one of the advantages of being a royal scientist is to examine paranormal anomalies, like anon." Lyra explains.

"So that means..." You reply.

"It means, by law, Twilight has to hand over Anon to the nearest qualified researcher, for the safety of the ponies of Equestria "

"But Anon's not dangerous at all! I doubt he could hurt a fly if he tried." You reply angrily.

"The princess doesn't know that, heck, she doesn't even know he is here in Equss. All i need to say is that Twilight is harboring a dangerous alien and It is my royal and legal duty to take him into scientific custody." Lyra replies with a wide smirk on her face.

~ I win.

"Lyra this is Insane why can't you just leave them al-" Before you can finish she teleported away.
"Alone." you finish.

Author's Note:

Well there you have it. sorry for the long wait. and it may be an even longer wait for the next. you know, Life happened and It hurts, believe me. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing- er - typing it. But one things for sure, shits about to go down.