• Published 27th Jan 2013
  • 3,912 Views, 57 Comments

Lyra's Grand human hunt - -Twilight



Lyra is on a hunt. A human has been living in ponyville for about 3 months in hiding from her and her alone. and now Lyra is determined to capture this human and have the Q&A she has been dreaming of since fillyhood.

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The Hunted Human

*Tick*
*Splash*
*Tick*
*Splash*
*Tick*

The sound of water droplets struck your sensitive ears as you regain consciousness.
You open your eyes to find yourself in near darkness. Small brown rays of light hit your face through the burlap sack you were being held captive in. Attempting to move your hands you shake and wiggle around in the little space that was provided to you only to find your hands restrained behind your back with rope.

"Ah, I see your awake." A clearly altered autotune voice begins. Where the pony got a autotune machine was beyond you but she had that sort of voice you used to hear from mysterious villain characters from cartoons that were hiding in the shadows commanding they're minions to capture Inspector gadget *ahem.* The only difference Is that YOU are inspector gadget now and you are no longer in the safety of your house watching It.

You struggle around in the bag trying to find some sort of hole you can see through. A shadowy form begins to overshadow your foreign light and begins take the form of a pony through the burlap sack.
Accompanied by the shadow were five more Silhouettes . From the Silhouettes you can determine that three of your captors were unicorns one a pegasus and one would be what seems to be a earth pony. Shadows can be deceiving but you could swear you saw one holding some sort of surgical knife. The other ponies looked rather bulky and dangerous. They are probably here to make sure you don't escape.

"What is this place, Where am I, who are y-... Wait a second... Lyra? " You say.

"w-what? NO this is not Lyra" The autotune voice said in a panic.

"Lyra I'm home! it's Bonbon. What are you doing down there?" A distanced voice said.

"I'm having a HCA meeting, go away!" Lyra cried back in response.

There was some silence then bonbon said.

"I got you that blind bag human doll you wanted from Haymart, come up here and get It!" Bonbon said.

Lyra squeed in delight making that weird squeak toy noise you noticed everypony is capable of making out of thin air. Heading towards the door she accidentally kicked the table you seemed to be perched on top making you fall on your side.

The closes shadow to you (you assume is Lyra) galloped out of the room slamming the door behind her. You take this as a opportunity to escape. You squirm around in the bag until you finally feel an opening. you force your head at the hole until it breaks open, freeing you head (only) from its captivity.

You look around the room, examining everything. Those four mysterious ponies seemed to be a bunch of nerdy ponies you see around town, none of which seem to notice you trying to escape yet. most of their faces are decorated with pimples and their manes frazzled.The most interesting thing about them was that they all seem to be wearing clothes , human clothes. dress shirts and pants, ties and gloves that were flopped because they were lacking fingers filling them. Oh, and the surgical knife, A pencil. The suspected nerd pony was in the far left corner attempting to draw a human on the banner, With his hoofs.

"Humans don't stand on fours" you thought to yourself.

Above the nerds was the banner: HCA Human Catching Association no neighsayers allowed!

"This just got weird- oh shoot" You say, you mentally cover your mouth as you realize you alerted the nerds of your escape attempt.
They all begin to swarm around you asking you several questions at once, occasionally shoving each other out of the way. you think you saw one pony bite another ones ear.

What kind of food do you eat?

What kind of habitat do you live in?

Is it true that your an omnivore?

Are you going to eat us?

Do these pants make my flank look fat?

You were about to close your eyes and cry when another voice came from the far left of you.

"Hey! you guys! I said no peaking in the bag, now you spoiled the surprise!

you turn to see Lyra holding a fully dressed human doll with her magic.

"Lyra what's going on? what is this? Why can't you just leave me alone?" You say.

"Anon, Would you like to hear my life story? "

"No." You reply bluntly.

"Well too bad because I'm telling you anyways" Said Lyra.

You yawned in exasperation before pretending to drift off to sleep.

"COME ON I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET" Lyra yelled

"Once upon a time" she began ~

Author's Note:

A quick update so we can check on our little protagonist and see if he's woken up yet.
I feel like explaining stuff next chapter so be prepared for a flashback chapter next time. Sorry for the late post btw. School and stuff does that.

I knew this chapter wasn't going to have much In it (more of a filler) so I wanted to at least make it funny ^^