Bad Company

by Symphony

Ch. 7 - Celestia the Laser Show Horsie

After an awkward silence as Spike and I walked through the hallway to the dining room, where Celestia had told us to go to get some food. Thankfully, Spike hadn't asked anything about what Luna did after he made the promise.

Shit, I don't even want to think about it. I mean... She's a pony. A small horse. There is no fuckin' way I'll ever do something like that to one of them. I'm not into beastiality and I sure as hell want to keep my dignity for as long as possible. After a few minutes, Spike and I reached a big room with a really long table in the middle with several chairs lining the sides of it. On the far end were two bigger chairs, obviously meant for Sunbutt and Moonhorse due to the colours on them.

Celestia sat on her chair, the biggest shit-eating grin I've ever seen on her face. Luna sat next to her with her head low. I saw Celestia whisper something to Luna, I couldn't hear what she said but Luna sunk even lower and her face turned slightly red. I narrowed my eyes, but smirked.

I strode past all the chairs, heading straight for the chair closest to Celestia. I groaned as the chair closest to her was already occupied by some pink unicorn. I strode to the chair, turned it out and dumped the chair forward, making the pony fall off the chair with a yelp. Spike gasped and Celestia's grin faded slightly. I sat down on my chair and put up my feet on the table.

”Hey Celestia. So I was wondering...” I tapped a finger to my chin. ”Since you won't let me be a diplomat, which I find racist, can I instead be a representative of the humans or something?”

”That is basically the same thing, Jay.” Celestia rolled her eyes. ”By the way, say hello to my niece, Princess Cadence, ruler of the Crystal Empire.” She motioned to my left side. I turned to face the now pissed-the-fuck-off pink pony. I could swear I could feel her glare strangle my soul. Then I noticed the wings on her sides.

Oh...

um...

Well, fuck. I stood up slowly from the chair and moved one seat away from Celestia. Princess Cadence huffed and took back her seat. I twiddled my thumbs and decided to bring up my phone to waste some time listening to music or something. As I turned on the screen, I noticed that a warning for the battery power being on a critical level. I sighed and looked around the room, until my eyes settled on Celestia's glowing horn as she was using her magic to bring some salad to her mouth with a fork.

I think I got an idea... From what I can guess so far, their magic is nothing but energy they've learned to control and manipulate. Meaning that if I'm lucky, I could make that energy suitable to recharge my phone with or other basic electric things.

And you probably thought I was dumb, heh.

I stood up from my chair, making the other ponies stare at me as I walked around the table to where Celestia was sitting, stuffing her face with food. She raised an eyebrow at me as I smiled.

”Can I help you with anything?” She asked as she laid her fork down on the table, still having her magic activated... on... whatever.

”Actually, yeah...” I scratched the back of my neck. ”Sit still for a moment.” I brought forward my phone, flipped open the little pad to protect the USB-connection. I glanced up at Celestia, still smiling.

Then I promptly slammed my phone to her horn, the connection right down to the tip of her horn. You know, it's almost funny of how many things that can happen within the span of a few seconds.

Celestia gasped and her horn pretty much exploded in white/yellow light. Luna laughed her ass off. Cadence began to cry and hug Spike for dear life. Spike made strange choking noises. I grinned and laughed as I saw the battery percentage rise steadily. Then I got tackled by like, twenty or so guards.

It was a good day, all in all.

After I shook all the guards off me and stood back up, I looked to my phone to see that it was fully charged. I turned to Celestia, who's chair had tipped over and she laid pretty much unmoving, staring at the ceiling with pin-prick pupils and a huge blush on her face A small string of smoke came from the tip of her horn. Oh yeah, she was also panting. Suddenly, my phone started crackling and the screen started to fade and blink.

Then it started vibrating and making several sounds as... I recieved text messages... I stared at my phone, mouth hanging open as text messages flooded my phone by the dozen. More than half of them were from... my mother...

I unlocked my phone and clicked on one, bringing up the overlay.

'Please come home, we miss you'

I bit my lip and scrolled upward, reading another.

'If it's something we did, we're sorry. We just want you to come home safely'

I felt my eyes starting to sting a bit, so I turned away from the ponies and Spike. Then my phone started ringing. I stared at the caller ID for a couple of seconds, which honestly felt like hours.

'Mom'

I don't know how this is possible... Did the magic make my phone work again? Or is it just temporary. The ringtone broke me away from my thoughts and I fumbled to slide across the screen to answer the call.

”Hello?”

'Ja-frrzzzzt-y! Where are y-fzzzzrrrrt-ou? Why is your connection so bad?'

The stinging in my eyes got worse. ”I... I can't really explain... I'm really far from home and I don't know if I can ever get home...”

'Nonsense! Tell me where you are and your father will book you a flight home this instant!'

”I really wish it was that easy, mom... I really do...” I heard the connection getting even worse with more interruptions. ”Listen, I really need to s-say something i-important...”

'What is it? Oh, my little boy... all alone... But you're strong and stubborn! You can do anything you put your mind to!'

I smiled slightly. ”I know... But listen... Mom, I lo-

beep

beep

beep

”No... No. No! Fuck! No, not now!” I screamed, threw the phone down and saw that it was back to normal, no more weird flickering and shit. ”God fucking dammit!” I picked up the chair I had been sitting on and threw it against the closest wall, shattering it along with a candleholder that had been in its way. I breathed heavily and turned to the ponies.

All of them were staring at me in complete silence, even the guards. Celestia had returned to normal but instead of her usual smirk, she looked oddly serious. I sighed and turned away from them, nonchalantly wiping a tear from my cheek with the back of my left hand.

”The fuck are you all staring at, huh?” I growled. ”Oh yes, let's all make fun and stare at the weird huuuman who destroys things! Oh he's also crying!” I mocked them. I stomped toward the exit and spat over my shoulder. ”Boo-fucking-hoo.”

---

I need to get away from the ponies... I stomped away to my new room, where I was keeping the suitcases in safe hiding. Once inside the room, I grabbed two handfuls of gold coins from a suitcase and stuffed them down my pocket, then made my way out of the castle.

Apparently, word of my little freakout had spread around the castle like wildfire, so wherever I went inside the castle, ponies stared at me like I was some kind of freak. I guess I was a freak in their standard, I mean, my appearance to theirs? I'm a fuckin' walking circus-act.

Anyway, I finally found a way out and down into the town. The whole town felt like it was strangling me as I walked through the crowd of ponies, most of them ignored me but some stared at me, obviously confused or just plain pissed off at the mere sight of me. Finally though, I found what I was looking for.

A pub. A bell chimed as I walked inside, but none of the ponies bothered to turn around and take a look at who just walked inside. I made my way to one of the barstools right by the counter where a bartender was idly wiping a glass. A pony sat right by the corner, but I took a seat closer to the bartender.

”What're you havin'?” He asked in a rough, southern accent. He didn't even raise an eyebrow at me.

”The strongest you have, in the biggest container you have.” I muttered apathetically. He nodded and went back to work mixing together something. ”I couldn't help but notice...” I started. He looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. ”You didn't say anything about... well, me. Most of the ponies I've met so far imagined I was some kind of monster before even talking to me.”

He chuckled and shook his head. ”Now that ain't right that ponies treat ya that way. Ah didn't say anythin' because I've seen pretty much everything walk through that door to ease their mind with some hard liquor.”

He looked up at me, straight in the eyes. ”An' Ah can tell what kind of being you are easily. You're not actually a tough son'uva gun, you're just confused and a bit scared of what'll happen to ya.” When he noticed my dropped jaw, he laughed and sent me a huge pint of what looked like really, really hard whiskey. ”On th' house.” He nodded and went back to work.

I thanked him and took my first sip. It felt like my tongue was gonna melt and my throat burst into an inferno at any second.

I loved it.

”You...” I heard from the pony sitting by the corner. ”You're that human visiting the castle, right?” A male voice slurred, then hiccuped.

”Might be, depends on who's asking.” I said nonchalantly, taking another gulp of the liquor.

He leaned forward into the light, showing his white coat and long, blonde mane and blue eyes. ”Why, I'm just Celestia's nephew.”

Then I spat my drink. I coughed and choked before I spoke. ”There's a prince? Holy shit, I'm not completely surrounded by prissy little horsies!” I laughed. He chuckled as well.

”Yes, with a stunning amount of three princesses and only two princes, we have the definite under hoof.” He twirled the glass of brandy he held in his magic. ”It does bring down some oppurtunities...” He muttered.

I had already finished about half of my drink. ”Yeah... I mean, I don't know if it's a normal thing here, but there's a hell of a lot more mares then stallions around. What's up with that, anyway?”

”Genetic lines and a stroke of bad luck.” He said, then took a sip of his drink. ”Say... What's your name? I would hate to just call you 'human'.”

I smiled at him and held out my right hand. ”I'm Jay. You?”

He grabbed my hand with his hoof, somehow and shook it. ”Prince Blueblood, at your service.”

Comments

[hs0003]

Soo, Prince Blueballs is not a complete dickhead? Or does he want to use Jay to somehow take the throne, then throw him to the side like an old used sock you stole from a friend because you didn't want to ruin your own?

[Lucky424]

Blueblood? In a pub? And not being an asshole?

Nice.

[BradtheBrony]

So... did Jay just cause Celestia to accidentally orgasm when he made her magically charge his phone?

Also I have a sneaking suspicion that the ponies aren't mad at him for his violent display... more than likely they are sympathetic to his plight after hearing his conversation to his mother (especially Princess Celestia, who probably will try to be more understanding of her 'trying' new human guest.)

[Jack Kellar]

Well, this first scene sure was a rollercoaster. From awkward to funny to funnier to shocking to sad, and finally concerning. Well done.

Let's see what Bluey brings to the table.

[D48]

That was very nicely done, and I like that you are giving Blueblood some character. Far too many stories just disregard him based on his one appearance without even bothering to consider how things must look from his perspective so it is always nice to see people explore his character.

[MasterSpike]

Jay, Spike and now Blueblood...

...Dis gon be gud

[Neon Slate]

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! WE MISSED YOU

[HIEfan]

Awwww, the part where he read all those messages and the call from his mom, gah! Right in the feels!

[Shimshambest]

Bluebro is best bro

[Blaze the draconic mage]

NEED MORE

[Alitaher003]

blueblood and he's not an asshole? fav!

[-headshot123-]

Shit, I don't even want to think about it. I mean... She's a pony. A small horse. There is no fuckin' way I'll ever do something like that to one of them. I'm not into beastiality and I sure as hell want to keep my dignity for as long as possible.

stay on that path