• Published 25th Jan 2013
  • 4,959 Views, 322 Comments

Bad Company - Symphony



After a wild night out on the town, Jay decides to go back to Pony-land for a quick visit. Things don't go quite as planned though as he finds himself trapped in a dimension full of colorful ponies and friendship.

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Ch. 31 - Princess of Love-Inducing Mindcontrol

I buttoned the last button on my shirt as I walked down the stairs and went to the kitchen. I passed Strawberry on my way there and fussed her mane with my left hand, making her bat it away with a small frown.

I entered the kitchen and my eyes went to Dex who was finishing the last of his coffee, listening to Twilight drone about some stupid shit about some 'test' from Celestia. I decided not to interfere and smiled at Spike, holding out my fist for him to bump.

“So what's in those boxes you're bringing to the princesses?” Spike asked, looking at the twin satin boxes with their respective cutiemarks on them.

“A... special gift for them to show them my gratitude for letting me stay without them bothering me too much...” I grinned and patted his back. “You'll see exactly what I mean once they open them. No peeking!” I shot a look toward the clock. “Train leaves in around twenty minutes so we should start heading there.” Spike nodded.

“Twilight!” I yelled, she nearly jumped out of her seat and turned to me with a glare.

“What?!”

“I said that we're leaving now, you were too busy flexing your status as a student to royalty to notice...”

Twilight's cheeks painted with a little blush. “I was not... flexing, I was just saying that I had an important task to do that Princess Celestia asked of me.”

“Oh, an important task from Princess Celestia herself!” I put my hands on my cheeks and gasped. “Whatever could this be!” I leaned toward Dex and whispered. “You heard that? It's from Princess Celestia!”

Poindexter sighed and rolled his eyes. “Yes, I know. Just so you know, I was actually interested about it so would you mind? You have to leave for your train now anyway...” He pointed a hoof at the clock and my eyes widened. I grabbed Spike, the boxes and ran out from the kitchen.

“So like I was saying, the spell is unfinished-” I couldn't hear the rest of what she said as I barreled to the front door where Strawberry was waiting for me and Spike. He wriggled in my grip so I let him go.

She shook her head and opened the door and then we were on our way to Canterlot. We rushed through town to get to the train station, Strawberry and Spike sat down on a bench to wait while I went off to buy some tickets. I crouched down and rested my arms on the booth.

“Hello, three tickets to Canterlot, please!” I smiled at the mare working the tickets she looked up at me and her eyes widened.

She went to work and I fished some bits out of my pocket. “Oh no, I'll cover the tickets for you!”

My eyes narrowed slightly and I pursed my lips. “...Why? Not that I don't appreciate it, of course...”

“Because you helped Derpy get Dinky down from there a while ago and you beat Discord. Heck, you saved Equestria by doing that!”

I blanched and scratched my chin. “Did I? I really just beat the shit out of him...”

She nodded and smiled. “You did! Everypony here is really grateful for that!” She slid the tickets over to me and winked. “So here you go, three tickets to Canterlot free of charge!”

I took the tickets, thanked her and started walking back. I saved Equestria, huh? Wouldn't that mean I can be seen as a national hero or someshit? Man, here I thought I would get another fine for assault! The train had already arrived so we entered the train and took our seats. A couple of minutes later, the train started chugging away to our destination.

The words of the mare came back and I started tapping my fingers on the boxes. Strawberry's ear flicked and she looked up at me.

“Are you okay?” She put a hoof on my thigh.

“I'm okay, just a little cramped...” I chuckled and put a hand on her hoof. “I was just thinking about something. Remember when I slapped the shit out of that Discord dude?”

Strawberry sighed. “I do. I'm still not happy that you put yourself in danger like that...”

A great grin spread across my face. “So, apparently when I did that I saved Equestria for some bullshit reason!” I puffed out my chest and pounded it twice with a fist. “What you have here is a genuine national hero!”

Spike and Strawberry both rolled their eyes. “So? The girls saved Equestria twice and I helped save the Crystal Empire a while back...” Spike said. I deflated and gave him a defeated stare.

“Come on, dude... Let me have this just once...” I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms. There was silence as we just decided to focus on our own things. I was fiddling with my phone, Strawberry was reading a book she brought with her and Spike was reading through a comic book.

The train ride was nothing out of the ordinary, save for some cramps in my legs from sitting in a bad way for over an hour. “Fuckin' hell, I need to buy my own train cart that I can actually sit in...” I mumbled and rolled my shoulders.

Strawberry frowned and looked up from her book. “Wouldn't that be a waste of money? You don't really travel all that much.”

“Monthly work trips to Manehattan, five hour train rides that put a number on my back.” I grinned. “I also travel to Canterlot back and forth a lot.” I gave her my best pleading smile. “Pleeeeeease?

She sighed and facehoofed. “It's your money and you decide what to do with it, I just don't think it's a good idea...”

“Since when did I have good ideas?” Gotta start thinking about interior design! I giggled and rubbed my hands together. “I- I want a pool-table and, and a seat sized for me! Oh, and it reclines!” Strawberry rolled her eyes and her focus returned to the book.

We returned to silence for the rest of the train trip. Once we were stopping at the Canterlot station, we got out without trouble and started walking to the castle. I had a strong grip on the boxes so I wouldn't drop them with my usual luck. We received a fair share of stares once we closed in on the castle, but none of the ponies who stared at us actually said anything. Eventually, we arrived at the castle gates. I nodded at the guards and they nodded back and it was magicked open.

“The princesses told us of your arrival. They should be in the throne room, Mr. Andersen.” The one on the right said.

Fuuuuck off, Stone, I told you to call me Jay...” I frowned at the pegasus guard who sighed.

“No can do, I'm on the clock. Head inside, we can't keep the gate open for long.” I waved a hand at him and blew a raspberry as we passed the gate with it closing behind us. We kept walking toward the castle proper, Spike waving at ponies he knew. Strawberry looked up at me.

“How do you know that guard?”

I shrugged. “He's one of the guards that held me down when I got here.”

“Oh...”

Right, let's pick up the pace and head to the throne room sooner than later.


-Third person switch-

Discord floated around leisurely inside the castle, bored out of his mind. Who knew that being reformed wasn't actually fun at all? Hell, for all he knew this might have just been some elaborate ruse for the princesses to pull a fast one on him.

He heard some commotion from below and looked down. His eyes widened and he snapped a talon to turn invisible, hiding himself at the best of his abilities.

Below, the human he knew as Jay passed him along with the baby dragon Twilight Sparkle kept and a mare he hadn't seen before. His eyes narrowed and he slithered across the ceiling, following the group as they walked toward the throne room.

Discord arched an eyebrow as the guards merely nodded then opened the doors. Who was this human? How was it that he had such an authority even though he was clearly out of this world? Discord didn't know much about how dimensional travel worked except for the basics, but this... Man was something new. Something fun that stood up even to him! For Discord, this made Jay interesting.

He hurried past the doors before they closed again and got settled in a corner, ready to spectate what would happen between him and the princesses.

Jay approached the thrones with a warm smile on his face, patiently waiting for the mare in front of him to finish talking to the princess. The alicorns' eyes flicked to him momentarily but their attention swiftly returned to the pony talking to them. Strawberry and Spike stayed close to the doors, both eager to stay out of the public eye.

He made one last check on the boxes he was carrying but his eyes widened slightly as he noticed a third alicorn standing next to Celestia and Luna. It was that other princess that he dumped out of a chair the first time he was in Canterlot. 'What was her name again..? Something starting with a C... Clarence? Ca... Cadance! That's it!'

Once his internal dialogue finished and the princesses had turned their attention to him after assisting the pony, Jay put on his best disarming smile and held out his arms.

“Princesses, how nice of you to accept me to visit you in your... humble abode!” Jay began with a chuckle and walked forward to the stairs leading up to them. Many of the ponies who hadn't seen Jay and had only heard of his antics shared looks of confusion.

“I come today with gifts to show you my gratitude of being accepted as a citizen of your fair country.” He glanced around. A lot of the ponies were staring at him in awe. “I have been working closely with your nephew, Prince Blueblood to develop and bring human products to the Equestrian market.” He held out the boxes toward Celestia and Luna. “Here, take a look...”

The sisters shared a look, not sure what brought this out of Jay. Celestia cleared her throat after the silence had begun to turn awkward. “Well Jay, you are always welcome to visit us here!” She said with the same motherly smile that everypony was used to seeing on her features. “My sister and I thank you for your kind words and gladly accept your gifts.”

Luna's blue magic surrounded the box with her cutiemark and Celestia levitated the other one to herself. Once they were close, the sisters shared another glance. They looked over at Jay who still had that kind smile, gesturing at them to go ahead.

Both of the princesses took a deep breath, then opened the boxes simultaneously.

In Luna's box, the first thing she saw was an obsidian handle adorned with metallic blue rings. A small relieved smile formed on her face, it wasn't as bad as she thought! She expected the box to pop with an explosion of confetti. On one end of the handle, it continued on to a narrower silver neck and the head of the product was covered in satin.

Celestia also smiled as she levitated hers out of the box and inspected it. It was an alabaster handle and on hers the decorative rings, along with the neck was gold. They removed the satin glove covering the end and their smiles were replaced with exasperated looks.

Jay was still standing at the bottom of the stairs, a giant grin plastered on his face.

The heads of their backscratchers were not the usual shape, they were shaped like a human hand that only had the middle finger raised gloriously. Luna's was a deep sapphire blue as Celestia's was gold, just like the other decorations.

Jay coughed in his hand, they could see him straining not to laugh from the twinkle in his eyes. In the back of the room, Strawberry stared ahead in mute horror. Jay had shown her and explained some meanings of what humans did to just communicate with their hands. Spike had facepalmed and was pinching the bridge of his snout with a deep sigh.

The rest of the ponies were of course completely oblivious to the meaning of that gesture and they had stomped their hooves in approval and were fawning over the designs.

“You can screw off those heads counter-clockwise and replace them with a second set that's provided in the box...” Jay walked up to the princesses and made sure to wave over a pony carrying a camera. He positioned himself between the princesses and laid his arms around them as the stallion prepared to take a picture.

Not sure what else to do, the alicorn sisters merely held up their 'gifts' and smiled at the camera. Jay smiled as the camera flashed three times and the stallion scurried off.

“You do realize that this means war, right?” Celestia whispered to him. Jay's visage darkened and he grinned at Celestia, momentarily tightening his half-hug.

“Bring it.” He said through his teeth, still smiling at the ponies staring up at him. “All this does is make things interesting...”

Cadance's ears twitched as she overheard the conversation between the human and her aunt. Her eyes wandered over him. He was certainly different from what she remembered. He had cleaned up, cut his hair and was dressed stylishly. It didn't take a genius to realize that he had received help from Twilight and her friends.

“Vengeance aside,” Celestia allowed a genuine smile to form on her face. “thank you. Your marefriend and Spike can join us at dinner later if you're interested.” She seperated herself from his arm. “We had some griffin ambassadors here earlier and we still have some meat available...”

“Say no more!” Jay grinned. “I'll be there, make sure that they make the steak rare or I'll have to slap a horse...” He walked away from the princesses and back down the stairs, waving at them.

Cadance's eyes narrowed and when her aunts weren't looking, she teleported away.

Meanwhile in the corner of the room, Discord was clutching his sides and giggling madly at the scene the human caused and with another spell, he had overheard the words shared between Celestia and him. Satisfied with what he could find out, Discord also teleported away from the room.

Once outside the throne room, Strawberry turned to Jay with anger blazing in her eyes.

“Jay! What the buck was that?!” She gestured at the now closed doors. “What were you thinking when you gave the princesses something like that?” She nearly shouted. Spike nodded in agreement with the unicorn, not happy at all.

“What? It was funny! Didn't you see the looks on their faces?!” Jay said between gasping for air from how hard he was laughing. He covered his mouth with a hand and it was reduced to giggles.

“Excuse me?”

Jay immediately stopped laughing and straightened his posture and a calm smile graced his features. He turned to the newcomer with a smile. “How can I help yo- Oh hey Princess Cadance, was it?”

Cadance giggled. “Yes, that's me!”

“Cadance!” Spike yelled and ran forward. “I haven't seen you in like, forever! How is the Crystal Empire doing?”

“Hello, Spike! The empire is doing very well, I'm just here to visit my aunts for a few days, Shining Armor is still there.” Cadance rubbed a hoof to the baby dragon's head, making him bat it away with a laugh.

Strawberry's eyes widened and her ears fell flat to her head. She bowed down so quickly that she nearly faceplanted. “I'm so sorry for not noticing you earlier, princess!”

Jay and Cadance shared a look. “It's fine, I just teleported here so there's no need for you to apologize.” She turned to Jay. “I'm sorry that this is out of the blue, but can I talk to you in private for a few minutes?”

Jay arched an eyebrow at the pink princess and glanced over at Strawberry. “Uh... Okay? I guess...” He scratched the back of his head. “Spike, show Strawberry to the gardens and I'll come there in a bit.” Spike saluted and dragged Strawberry away with him.

Once they were alone, Cadance smirked at him. “You and that mare is in a relationship, aren't you?”

Jay crossed his arms. “I am, what told you? The way she was chewing me out for doing something dumb?”

“Oh no, I could sense it. I'm the Princess of Love, after all!” She smiled up at him, her smile faltered as Jay only stared down at her with a frown and a raised eyebrow.

“Princess... of Love?” He scratched his chin. “I'm sorry, that sounds dumb as hell...”

“Wh-what?!”

“How can you rule over love?” Jay gestured with his arms. “That's a feeling, or just a really strong emotion...” He tapped a finger to his chin. “So unless you can do some freaky mind control to make ponies who hate eachother shit butterflies and love eachother out of nowhere, that really only sounds like some super freaky manipulation...”

“I...” Cadance chewed her lip. She got a sudden urge to indulge herself in the strongest liquor she could find. “I-”

She was interrupted as a group guards rushed past them, along with a unicorn wearing a silly robe ran past them as if they were being chased by a demon. The doors to the throne room slammed open and closed just as quickly.

“Sorry, you were saying?” Jay was the first one to stop staring. He started walking away and Cadance fell in step with him.

Cadance shook her head. “I just wanted to say that you seem to have bounced back nicely compared to the state you were in the first time I met you.”

Jay smiled. They had walked over to a door leading to the castle garden. He sat down on a stone bench and the princess joined him. He spotted Strawberry and Spike running around in the distance.

“Yeah... It was hard back then. Shit, if I didn't have the ponies that I do around me I don't think I'd lasted for that long.” He rolled his shoulders and leaned forward in his seat.

“I'm really thankful for everything that I have. Twilight, Spike and their friends got me on my feet. Strawberry is helping me take the steps forward that I need to take.” He smiled. “Guess after all this bullshit, I'm still a lucky guy...”

“There you are, Jay!”

Cadance and Jay turned around to spot Luna looking ragged, staring straight at Jay. Her eyes were wide and she looked almost a shade of blue paler than usual.

“What's going on? If it's about the backscratcher, it was a joke!” He raised his hands to diffuse the situation.

“No, it's nothing about that now!” Luna shook her head and affixed Jay with a near panicked stare.

“Jay... Another human has been found.”

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