A thing or two about changelings and their habits saga

by Young discord

CHAPTER 5 (AKA: Meet the family)

The most cartoonish and outrageously fun place in the universe, a place like no other, a land with such joy that one felt sticky by simply going anywhere near the place, The place in mention was of course Discord’s realm and two unlikely changelings were traversing through its heartstrings thumping with life and an endless conga line of parties.
It was just as Stan had remembered it as a colt, it’s as if he were some sort of permeable wall through which entered a constant overwhelming source of positive emotions such as fun, joy and everything else positive than one can think of, this place for a changeling was a 6 star restaurant, heck not just that it’s as if there were multiple restaurants in the same place, over there the spicy oriental blend of thrills of the rollercoasters, further up ahead the more refined French minimalistic cuisine of theater and on the side the occasional Amareican fast food stand where colts, baby dragons and griffons would be given the cotton candy, hay fries or gem cakes whose joy of full bellies filled the stomachs of nearby changelings.
Whatever one learned, whatever rules they lived by, the things they couldn’t do... here, all was possible, there were no rules, in fact there was no rule even stating that there were no rules, a one big giant heap of chaos, but a pleasant chaos, one where nobody was pressed by everyday rules, where they could just live in the moment and forget about each and every one of their problems.
Stan was so overwhelmed with the surge of information from everywhere that before he knew it, they had reached their destination with almost no effort at all, Stan thought that it would be somewhat harder to manoeuvre around Equestria when one is a notorious terrorist.

“How did this happen?”

“Well, we got on the train and-“

“No, I mean how did we get here so easily?”

“Magic, babyyyy!”
Stan frowned, Cynthia was crazy and not the hot sort of crazy, the cat lady sort of crazy.

“You’re crazy”

“Pschhhh! And you’re boring!”

“No, really, how did you do this?”

“We’re here!”
Stan looked ahead, just a plain ordinary house in the residential area of the realm (or at least plain and ordinary in Discord's realm's terms)
Cynthia simply opened the unlocked doors briefly followed by Stan.
The contents of the home were concise, a single main room and of course no kitchen (after all, changelings don’t need one)

“Cynthia!”
A thick boned changeling mare ran right into Cynthia crushing her with an oversized hug that would easily knock out a grown stallion.

“And who’s this handsome fellow?”
The attention was now averted at Stan whose only option right now was to introduce himself.

“Helo, I’m Sta-“

“Oooohhh…” the mare pointed at his pendant

“He’s your special somepony”

“AUNTIE!”
Cynthia gave her a powerful jab to her side to shut her up.

“I thought you went for different... types of stallions”

“I do, this one’s a mistake”

“Hey!”

“I’m sorry Stanley, she can be a little mean sometimes”

“No! really this one’s useless! He doesn’t even know how to use his item”

“He’s not useless, the items are never wrong”

“Well they are this time, we need to undo all this”

“But dear, you know the rules-“

“I know! But there HAS to be something, that’s why I’m here”

“Well, if anybody will know what to do it’ll be either your uncle or your grandfather”

“Well, where are they?”

“You uncle is at work, as usual as for your grandfather… well you know him”

“Come on” ordered Cyntia
Cynthia hooked Stan by his neck and dragged him out of the house

“It… was… nice… meeting… you!” Gasped out Stan, choked by Cynthia's hold

“Likewise!”
The aunt giggled as she closed the door behind them.

“Where are we going?”

“To my uncle”
Stan’s body felt raggedy and worn, now that he was no longer hungry he had time to realise just how tired he was, he had never been so wiped out in his entire life, he needed a proper rest and fast.

“Look, can we just have a break for a moment?”

“Don’t be a lazy bum”

“Bu… BUM?!? Are you seriously calling me a bum right now??? I’ve been through hell today if my body doesn’t rest right now I think I’ll pass out”

“Don’t be a pussy”
Cynthia’s foul language smacked Stan in the face.

“LOOK NOW-“

“FINE! SHEESH! We’ll take a break when we get to my uncle so stop your whining already!”

“Oh yeah? And where is he? Canterlot? Saddle Arabia?”

“Right there”
Stan looked at where Cynthia was pointing to, and she was pointing directly at Discord’s shack

“Wait, you don’t mean-“

“Yep”

“Your uncle…”

“Eyeup”

“Works at Discord’s shack?”
Cynthia facehooved.

“Yeah… sure whatever”
The giant wobbly gelatinous doors were unclosing in front of the couple ready to greet them with pure chaotic fun.

“Oh my god! I’ve never been inside! It’s got to be amazing!”
But instead of going through the entrance, Cynthia turned towards the slimy doors.

“What are you doing?”

“Whack-a mole for guacamole”
The doors produced a green shiny rump that shortly after making its appearance received five smacks at its left buttcheek and a tickle on its tail.
Stan gagged, the scene of Cynthia slapping a slimy jiggly rump and playing with it was not something he needed to see that day

“Why are you slapping this?”

“Beats kissing it”
A set of trap doors opened up above them and sucked them in before closing and disappearing into thin air.
Stan had never experienced anything like it, he was flying through… stuff, he couldn’t even put it into words what the hell he was seeing, every moment he was in an entirely new universe, one moment they are made out of string, then they’re traversing through the negaverse (whatever that meant) after that stan was pretty sure that he was with Cynthia on some metal gray train with some being with formal attire holding a suitcase in one hand and calling them “mr. Freeman” or something like that, then a flash and there they are in the middle of reading a fanfic about themselves on an obscure webpage.
Suddenly
Peace
Finally a moment for them to get their bearings.
Gravity
Yes
Floor
Check

“Sweet Chrissy! What just happened?” Stanley exclaimed

“We’re here”
Stan was too busy trying to figure out the last few moments of his life... or maybe lives (he wasn't sure) to notice where he was… some sort of bedroom, and not just any bedroom, whoever lived here was one hell of a bigshot, a large double bed deserving of royalty, a huge mirror wall on one side opposite the bed doors, revealing an immense balcony and right in the middle of the room, stood none other than the god of chaos in his full draconequus self who extended his arms like a harmonica in a friendly greeting

“Why if it isn’t Cynthia!” Chuckled Discord

“Uncle!”
Cynthia was now wrapped in a harmonica or arms

“And who’s this I see? Stanley I presume?”

“How do you know?” asked Stanley

“This douche stole the ite-“

“I know everything Cynthia darling”

“You do? Oh good”

“Hmmm… yess…”
Discord was examining Stan with a pair of x-ray glasses, not the real ones though but the cheap cardboard fake novelty ones that were basically just a pair of regular colorful glasses with cardboard for lens and a tiny hole in the middle to see through.

“I have to say My fellow, She really did take after you”

“After me? Who?”
Discord popped a ton of cats and kittens all over himself along with a granny bonnet and a rocking chair

“Oh, don’t mind me, just a crazy old draconequus talking to himself”
Cynthia decided to move this conversation back on track if there was such a thing as a track to begin with, in this place.

“We need to undo this, he took the item by mistake and-“
Discord poofed into a discord-headed rope that tied up cynthia

“I’d love to help, but I’m afraid that I’m a little tied up you see, with the annual celebrations coming up and all”

“But-“

“Don’t you worry I’m sure the family will approve of him”

“But it’s not him”

“Of course it’s him”

“No he isn’t”

“Yes he is”

“Isn’t”

“Is”

“Isn’t”

“I- wait you’re going to do that thing where I say isn’t then you say is and then you say Isn’t and then I say is aren’t you?” retorted Cynthia

“Oop, busted, sometimes I wish I had taught you less my dear”

“Come on Uncle Dis”

“I’m sorry but what’s done is done and-”

“COME O-O-O-O-ONNNN!”
Cynthia was in the middle of a stamping tantrum, her voice wobbling along with the rest of her body

“No means no Cynthia, not this time, some things even I can’t do”

“Fine! I’ll go to granddad instead!”
Discord turned towards Stan.

“Boy you sure have your work cut out haven’t you?”
Stan rolled his eyes.

“Tell me about it”

“Well then, I guess I won’t keep you here any longer!”
Discord huffed and puffed them through the doors leading onto the balcony, and as soon as they were through the doors they found themselves in a cave.
A mirror fortress reflecting history of Cynthia’s family as well as a glimpse of Stan’s soon to come future which was being revealed as they were traversing patiently needing time to take it all in.
The cave in which they suddenly found themselves was entirely made of some sort of crystals, with countless podiums with all sorts of objects, a giant hammer, a metal helmet with massive feathered wings which was grotesquely catching attention, a magical whip made of fire, encrusted with sharp gems made of ice, a teethed long sword and far up ahead, a massive metallic double doors, which was where they were currently headed.

“Where is this place?” Asked Stan

“You ask too many questions, you know that?”
Stan was so offended by that statement that he couldn’t even get himself to reply verbally, instead he furiously gesticulated everything around them, countless objects on podiums, each glistening with their own history long past, others, more recent yet they all contained something peculiar, something that made them stand out, much like a cutie mark of sorts, Stan couldn’t put his hoof on it though.

“This is our crib, it’s been our family heirloom for years now”

“And all those objects? Like that bow?”

“They’re...”
Cynthia pointed at her pendant

“Fashion jewellery?”

“No, you idiot! They’re magical items! Like the one which you have which clearly doesn’t belong you, you thief”

“Well then next time, I suggest that you send the package to the RIGHT place”

“Why do you think we’re here? We’re gonna take that off of you”

You won’t manage
Stan averted his gaze at the pendant and turned to whisper mode

“I don’t know much about all of this but it can’t be simpler than taking you off and giving you back”

It doesn’t matter now, you are the rightful owner of this pendant

“But she said that-“

Cynthia knows how these things work, she just doesn’t want to accept you, that’s all

“Me? What’s wrong with me?”

...
Stan was now moderately aggravated.

“Oh, giving me the silent treatment now, are we? just spill it, what’s wrong with me?”
Cynthia, assuming that was directed at her, inhaled getting ready to give him a very long list she has been meticulously preparing throughout this entire trip

“You’re dirty, weak, don’t know how to fight, rude, weird and you talk to yourself”

She’s right you know, you do talk to yourself
Stan smacked his pendant to shut it up.

...Or at least that’s what it looks like

“Well excuse me for being equine, besides talking to oneself isn’t all that weird”

“Who the hell talks if they don’t want anyone to hear them?”

“Who the hell writes if they don’t want anyone to read it?”

“What?”

“Diaries”

“Diaries aren’t weird”

“Diaries is basically writing to yourself, the only difference between writing to yourself and talking to yourself is that you have a quill ink and parchment”

“Still, it’s weird”

“IT’S NOT WEIRD!”
Stan’s voice bounced off every cave’s surface, the objects on podiums rumbled slightly as the innards resonated with his tone ever so slightly.

“Ok ok! Just shut up already or they’ll hear us upstairs”
The two stopped in front of the metal doors made in the image of the pendant door design with a massive diamond in the middle.
Very faint ticking could be heard as if beyond those fake doors were some metal being with a tin heart ticking away his or her time.

“You, don’t do a thing, don’t even move or we’re screwed”
Cynthia tapped at the door with the greatest of care as if the thing itself were made of the thinnest glass.
The sound dispersed along the metal, Stan could almost see the sound being amplified a million times over by the door’s resonant properties and then the rest of the cave joined in on the fun.
The sound was getting immensely loud, it was becoming painful to hear.
And then the sound stopped almost immediately.
A line along the middle of the artwork began to trickle down perfectly splitting the door in half along with the diamond, then the thing opened in the most gentle and sublte way possible, the ticking was now becoming more clear, some of the air from the cave began to travel into the contents of the room on the other side of the doors and a figure emerged.
It was a changeling, but an incredibly old and aged one, whoever he was, he has seen things nobody else has, his body scarred with life experiences, truly what one would consider and elder.
Stan bowed in front of him; it just felt like the right thing to do.
The loose saggy and wobbly face spoke.

“Cynthia”

“Grandpa!”
Cynthia threw herself onto him.
Stan jumped in to prevent that, the grandfather’s body seemed so old and frail that it might turn to dust under Cynthia’s weight, or indeed, anybody’s but he missed it by just the smallest of inches and Cynthia crushed the old being with her love.
Much to Stanley’s surprise the hug was fully returned.

“Grandpa, This is-“

“I know who Stanley is, child”

“Really?”

“Yes, I also know why you’re here”

“Oh, that’s great, then when can we get the item back from him?”
The grandfather looked at Cynthia for a brief moment.
Stan’s curiosity about the ticking was killing him he had to know what the heck was ticking away so lively behind those doors, he extended his neck beyond the other two to see what’s inside.
The Grandfather waved his left hoof at the door which obediently closed but just before it did, Stanley managed to see for the briefest of moments what seemed to him the corner of a dome with some complicated mechanism of cogs and wheels ticking and whirring away.
The elder signalled Stanley and Cynthia to follow him on a tour of the cave.

“Stanley, This is our history, who we are, every item you see here isn’t just an item, it’s a living being, a part of our family that once lived but is now gone”

“That’s very interesting sir but-“

“Of course it’s interesting, it’s only natural for you to want to know about your family”

“Wait, MY family?”

“But- grandpa, he’s the wrong-“

“There is no such thing as coincidences Cynthia, not with this”

“But-“

“Hold on a second, MY family? I think you might have me mistaken for someone else and-“

“You Found a package with nothing in it, later, after being fired on your very first day of your job and not having eaten either you came back to your apartment that was ravaged by somepony only to discover this pendant and find out that the flat was rigged to explode when you enter”

“How did you know that?”
The Grandfather smiled.

“As an old friend told me once, I know a lot of things and I know that you’re not a thief, I apologize for my granddaughter, she tends to let her imagination get the better of her at times”

“Look, just because you know stuff about me doesn’t automatically mean that-“

“How did you survive?”

“Survive?”

“I can tell that you’re new to the hardships of life, how did you know that the flat was going to explode? How did you survive all this time on your own?”
Stan’s cover about the pendant was being blown, he really wanted to ask the voice right now on advice but now out of all times would be the worst and it seemed that the voice agreed with him because it wasn’t saying a thing.

“It’s all right, you don’t have to answer, we all have our little secrets, don’t we?”
Cynthia had just realized what they were really talking about.

“Waiiiit a minute, you can use the pendant?”

“Well...”

“Give it to me right now!”
Cynthia threw herself onto him trying to take away the thing around his neck that seemed to be the source of all his problems.
So why was he protecting it? Stan couldn’t explain it, he just knew that taking it away from him would be plain wrong.

“Come on!”

“No!”

“Gimme, it’s not a toy!”
The shuffling was covering the cave’s atmosphere with a hearable fuzzing.
The Grandfather stomped his hoof on the crystal floor, the sound wave cleared the air, shocking the fighting pair into submission.

“That’s enough Cynthia”
Cynthia also seemed to have enough, she couldn’t take it and ran off hiding her face, possibly trying to cover up her tears.
“Cynthia...”
Stan reached out to her but she was already gone
“Leave her be, she will be fine”
“Look, I really have no idea what you’re talking about here, this whole thing about magical items and now I’m your family, I can assure you that I have a family of my own”
“I don’t doubt it”
“See? This is what I mean, you’re not making any sense, I lost everything today, I’d like to at least know why”
“Have you ever heard of immortality?”

“As in someone who can’t die?”
“Yes”
“Well I heard About the idea, why do you ask?”
“Because you are temporarily immortal”
Stan’s face dropped.

“Wait, just run this through me again, what am I?”

“Immortal”

“Like I don’t age?”

“No, you simply cannot die for a period of time”

“Uhhh, I’m pretty sure that I’d die if I’d jump off the top of a baoblock”

“Yes you would, but you won’t, fundamentally you are just like any other living being, no different, you age, you can be hurt and you will die someday but not for some time”

“So I can’t die but I will die eventually? How does that work?”

“How familiar are you with time travel?”

“Well I’d be more familiar with it if it existed”
The Gradfather grinned.

“Time travel exists? Really?”
The grandfather nodded.

“It all started a long time ago when a changeling filly travelled from the not so distant future to the faraway past, there she had met a colt and fell in love with him, they married, had children and raised a family but what they didn’t know was that they were related, the colt was the filly’s great grandfather from a long time ago and not long after they had established a happy family they stumbled upon a mysterious book, this is the book”
Stan looked at the book upon the podium in front of them, it was a very old and tattered book and on the cover a simple “family tree” title lay spread out across the front.

“This is a book about their family for the next 500 years, it is somewhat simple and has n”

“And I’m a part of that family?”

“That filly who travelled to the past, was your daughter”

“My daughter? But I don’t have one”

“Not yet, but you will some day with Cynthia”
Stan burst into laughter, he couldn’t imagine anybody else less appropriate for a relationship with him than her.
A minute or two later after he had calmed down, he went through the facts once again in his head.

“Tell me, how can I be sure that you’re not lying”

“Because you’re in the book of course”

“I see... Then I guess it’s all right if I see it then”

“No, it’s a family rule passed down from generation to generation”

“AHA! So you are lying”

“I am not”

“So then why can’t I look?”

“Because, no good comes from knowing too much about the future”

“How can that be a bad thing?”

“Ever wondered what would happen to your life if you knew exactly when you’d die? Everypony is scared of death yet we all live on, how is that possible? Because we never know what awaits us and that ignorance is bliss, if you look in there, you will regret your decision for the rest of your life... but if you want to look that badly, I won’t stop you”
Stan walked up the podium containing the book.
Most of Stan was pushing him to open that book, so many answers could be in there, what’s going to happen to him, yet a small little thing, a tiny little force was overwhelming the rest of his body.
It was fear.

“You can feel it, can’t you?”
Stan violently turned his head to the Grandfather, something was wrong with Stan right now and he was worried.

“Why... why can’t I do this?”
The changeling descended off the podium.

“Because you know what would happen if you’d know too much, why do you think suicide is so difficult? Our bodies were made to live, not die, it’s the most basic part of our nature, to survive, and you know that looking in there is wrong”

“Then why, why would such an abomination exist?”

“Only the one who gave this book to your daughter knows the answer to that”

“Who would so something as cruel as that?”

“That’s the one answer the book doesn’t have, we might never know”

“So what now?”
The elder sighed.

“Whatever happens, happens... all we can do is wait and endure what life has laid out in front of us the best way we can”

“But why tell me all this? Couldn’t I have just lived peacefully? Why is all this necessary? So what if I’m immortal for some time?”

“Don’t you think it would be a waste of such an opportunity? You cannot die, at least until you have a daughter, don’t you feel some sense of responsibility with this?”

“I... I don’t know it’s all a lot to take in for a day”

“Our family for hundreds of years have been utilising this rare opportunity to do what’s right, to help those in need, make sure this world doesn’t fall apart”

“This is beginning to sound like some sort of superhero comic book stuff”

“If you want to call it that”

“So what, just because I have this immortality thing and this pendant I should put on a cape and run around like some masked thing?”

“Oh, nothing like that”
Stan sighed with relief

“Oh good”

“The cape isn’t necessary”
Stan just wanted to be back in his comfy old home, just sit in silence and think what to do with his life next, and for that he was ready to turn down an offer of a lifetime.

“Thank you for your offer but I think I’d rather go back to my old life”
Stan turned away from the Grandfather and got going.

“There are other immortals, ones who stand against us and wish us harm”
Stan stopped dead in his tracks.

“Others? Are those the ones who did all this to me?”

“Indeed”

“How many?”

“Just one, but he has many under him”

“Why does he want me dead?”

“Not just you, anypony from our family, they think themselves as gods, beings who are fit to rule above all else with an iron hoof, and they most certainly can if it weren’t for us”

“And that’s why they ruined my life?”

“and the life of many other innocent bystanders on the way, yes”
Rage was about to blow Stan’s top off, he knew how horrible it was to have his life taken away and something in him just couldn’t accept the fact that something as horrible as this might happen again and again to other innocent beings because of a whim or a sick sense of pride.

“Well then, they have another thing coming, they think they can just play around with anybody like this? Grandfather... actually what IS your name?”

“Call me the inventor”

“Well, inventor, consider me as part of your family, I promise that I’ll bring those changelings down!”
A news sense of purpose was breathed into Stan and a new unstoppable force was being born.

Author's Note:

I apologize for the delay, I had just noticed that although I had put this chapter up 2 days ago it was still unpublished, must have forgotten to press that little publish button...