"Draw me like one of your french girls" sorry could not help it.
SRS face now, good chapter man, it rocked figratively and litraly Loving the main character and what a knight he is. In the case of Blueblood GOOD SHOW, WHAT!
Great chapter, definitely worth the wait! With Pinkie up next, I wonder what they're going to get up too... I s'pose we'll just have to wait and see eh?
Okay, for the constructive criticism, this story really needs one thing, and this is dialogue-tagging.
Whenever you write dialogue, make sure you make it clear who is talking, even if it's just a simple "said Twilight" or the like. This becomes a life-saver when more than two people are talking at any given point, as it's very easy for readers to become confused as to who is speaking without any obvious indication.
That said, this is quite the interesting concept, and I'll be tracking it to see how it turns out. Keep up the good work.
Again, thanks to everyone for all the support, and the advice. I appreciate it. Next chapter should be coming in a little less then a week. To address some individual questions:
@Agent Brony: I'm not telling, you'll have to keep reading to find out :) @Super Monkey: When I started writing this, it was actually going to be a lot more mature. But I've decided to be true to the characters. It will need that tag though, but that's all I'm saying... @TimeBomb0: I know dude, I'm terrible with that. I'm working on it, but I feel like it's really hard to put those in without breaking the flow. @Armada: Thanks, I'll check it out!
This is such a great story now if we can take this and show all the assholes around the world how to really treat woman then we will be one step closer to a Better world. Keep up the great work!
So good! Great emotion! Be careful when writing though, think of what you'll write in the future chapters, so you can weave them together. But don't be too criptic.
I normally don't use violence as an answer, but if I guy hits a woman in front of me, I hit him harder. That fight sequence with Blieblood made me feel like a badass.
DAMN this is awesome
This is a great story.
"Draw me like one of your french girls" sorry could not help it.
SRS face now, good chapter man, it rocked figratively and litraly Loving the main character and what a knight he is. In the case of Blueblood GOOD SHOW, WHAT!
Out of interest do we ever learn the dudes name?
FUCK YEAH!!!
AMAZING!!!!!!!!!
Wow, all of the Mane 6 are hitting on him, if he keeps this up, hes going to be a PIMP!!!
But with his attitude, he just won't..
Great chapter, definitely worth the wait! With Pinkie up next, I wonder what they're going to get up too... I s'pose we'll just have to wait and see eh?
Excellent story, please continue
oh no, first he knocks back AJ, now rarity too?
this better end in an orgy
I really like this story and what it teaches about life, but I still don't understand the mature rating for it. Could you offer any insight on that?
Okay, for the constructive criticism, this story really needs one thing, and this is dialogue-tagging.
Whenever you write dialogue, make sure you make it clear who is talking, even if it's just a simple "said Twilight" or the like. This becomes a life-saver when more than two people are talking at any given point, as it's very easy for readers to become confused as to who is speaking without any obvious indication.
That said, this is quite the interesting concept, and I'll be tracking it to see how it turns out. Keep up the good work.
And I ask this again: WHY CAN'T I BE HIM?!??!
Great chapter btw , keep up the good work
182341
I think is for the last day
Again, thanks to everyone for all the support, and the advice. I appreciate it. Next chapter should be coming in a little less then a week. To address some individual questions:
@Agent Brony: I'm not telling, you'll have to keep reading to find out :)
@Super Monkey: When I started writing this, it was actually going to be a lot more mature. But I've decided to be true to the characters. It will need that tag though, but that's all I'm saying...
@TimeBomb0: I know dude, I'm terrible with that. I'm working on it, but I feel like it's really hard to put those in without breaking the flow.
@Armada: Thanks, I'll check it out!
I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.
This is now one of my favorite stories, keep it up!
This is such a great story now if we can take this and show all the assholes around the world how to really treat woman then we will be one step closer to a Better world. Keep up the great work!
So good! Great emotion! Be careful when writing though, think of what you'll write in the future chapters, so you can weave them together. But don't be too criptic.
I cant wait for the next one with Pinkie its gunna rock
ASI ME MUCHO GUSTO [img]ME GUSTA[/img]
[img]raisins[/img]
I normally don't use violence as an answer, but if I guy hits a woman in front of me, I hit him harder. That fight sequence with Blieblood made me feel like a badass.
A story about a low self esteem social pariah surrounded by humanized mane six who want to bone him...and you wrote him turning them down...
myfacewhen.net/uploads/10-son-i-am-disappoint.gif
*robe drops*
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*robe drops*
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hahahahahahah awesome