Things are better?
As Spike and Scootaloo walked to the library all Spike thought about was the kiss with Scootaloo in the treehouse, he blushed at this.
When they walked in to the library they saw Twilight pacing in the livingroom, Twilight was thinking to herself "where are they, are they okay should i get help" but when she saw them walk in she was relieved asking "what happened, are you okay, why did Scootaloo leave?" spike replied with "come we will tell you over lunch".
During lunch Spike told Twilight about what happened between him and scootaloo leaving out the part about the kiss, Scootaloo was thankfull for that.
Spike spoke about Scootaloo being a permenant resident at the library, Twilight gave it some thought and said yes. Spike cheered and Scootaloo perked up buzzing her wings trying to fly, Spike smiled at her atempt as she floated inches off of the ground and then fell on her flank, they all giggled.
"Can Scoots and i go play" asked spike "sure" replied Twilight "but make sure your back before 6 and bring Scootaloo's stuff" she added "OKAY BYE TWI" Spike yelled as they ran out the door already across the street, Twilight giggled to herself and said "now to fixup the guest room for Scootaloo".
Spike asked Scootaloo what she wanted to do today "uummm we could go on a date" joked Scootaloo "sure if you want" Spike replied knowing full well she was joking. Scootaloo was shocked and said "REALLY SPIKE..... i didnt think you'd say yes" Spike laughed and said "well i really do care for you Scoots" she blushed and so did he. they walked on toward a resturant giggling and talking to each other
well another chapter has been finished thanks for your support friends from school and home. hope all yall enjoy.
Oh and on another note my pony i made on deviant was supposed to be me and i will insert a picture next chapter because he will be guest starring in the next chapter his name is 8-bit has hair like scratch only white with light blue streaks, long white tail with light blue streaks, and a light black coat.
His occupation = video game store owner.
His cutie mark an original N.E.S controller
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At First i was like ^
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvp42zSFuV1qmx8wh.gif
Now im all ^
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
Um...well, I understand that it's your first time, but...seriously, an iPod is NOT the right way to write a story. Seriously. You have everything written in one huge paragraph, which that alone makes it near impossible to read. There's mistakes everywhere, and the chapters themselves are WAY too short. The concept is nice, but...the writing itself left much to be desired. A tip would be to not use your iPod to write; it never works. If you have no choice...well, you need to work on this. A LOT.
Thx guys yea i really do have to stop with the ipod and il try and fix up it sumtime but thx fer the feedback
Hey bro thats MY profile pic
Wtf lol man i love scootaloo tho oh and btw whats wrong wih twilight and trixie
Ostensibly, Twilight Sparkle would be less then inclined to feel tender about irreverent unapologetic braggart.
Equally ostensibly, Trixie would be hard-pressed to have any positive feelings about a pony who showed her up that badly.
While a good story can be woven to bring them together and even into happily ever after... Just positing them as lovers without so much as a single word as to how they ended up like that adds a grating dissonant note into the story.
On the topic of Scootaloo being an orphan - common theme, and just as commonly badly abused by lack of common sense. It would be nigh impossible to hide the fact of being an orphan in a rural burg like Ponyville. Places like those are "everyone knows everyone" kinds of towns, and whatever could`ve had happened that made Scootaloo an orphan, whole town would know of it within a day. I also sincerely doubt that Scootaloo would be left to her own devices just like that. An orphanage or foster home of some kind is an imminence in situations like those.
Scootaloo`s reaction to pecking Spike on the cheek is... baffling, to say the least. CMCs are not exactly of the age where they can truly comprehend the scope of repercussions they inflict on other ponies with their antics - that much is amply shown many times. It would be highly unlikely Scootaloo would be able to even compare her actions to Spike`s crush on Rarity, much less feel an immediate and crushing regret about this.
Spike, on the other hand, would be... quite well aware he shouldn`t be doing anything too explicit with a foal. As relaxed, as pony society is, I doubt it would look kindly on that kind of thing. Taking into consideration the facts that Scootaloo is an orphan and desperate for any kind of companionship, eager Spike would be just... a miiiite creepy, y`know?
145278 u sir know ur stuff but i say look at the tag ALTERNATE UNIVERSE. and if you want back story then i will get around to a bonus chapter or to just for you
145291 There is a difference between alternate universe and just plain illogic. If you're going to scrap a Character's personality because it gets in the way of a story, you're not writing a fanfic. You're writing a Short story of your own creation, wrapped in a pony skin.
Scootaloo being an orphan with no-one realising it can be explained, in that she may not have lived in Ponyville before whatever killed her parents. She shows up during the day and dissapears at night. Everyone assumes SOMEONE looks after her, no-one knows who, but trusts its taken care of.
TwilightxTrixie makes NO sense. One is an egotistical, selfcentered Braggart with no regard for anyone other then herself. The other is selfless, caring, hard working and dedicated to others. They're complete opposites of each other, their personalities would clash. Even without that, there is the fact that Twilight is Inherantly better than Trixie. Her special talent is magic in and of itself, whereas Trixie's is a speciality in STAGE magic, Smoke and Mirrorwork. Trixie, who's mantra is "Anything you can do, I can do better", would get incredibly depressed around Twilight, Whose very existance proves her wrong. It is not a thing that could realistically happen without a HELL of a lot of character building (not to mention about ten tonne of Humble pie shoveled forcibly into Trixie's mouth)
Alternate universe tag exists to let you cast your favorite characters into environment they`re not naturally found on.
Humanised ponies? AU.
Steampunk ponies? AU.
Unexplained romance between Twilight and Trixie? WTF.
Plot, m`dear. Good firm plot makes story 20% cooler. In the absence of such, reader is left to flounder, unable to comprehend the hows and whys of the story. Understand our predicament - it would be quite uncouth to tell you "TwixTrix pairing? Naaaw.", but in the same time it throws our understanding of character dynamics and personalities right into our faces, when we`re presented with this romance and not a single shred of explanation as to how it came to be. As any fic about unconventional pairings, it simply begs for an explanation as to how the aforementioned unconventional pairing had came to be. Because, y`know, they`re unconventional for a good reason.
Oh, and let`s not forget the issue of Trixie reacting to Scootaloo, mmhm? Because as far as things are rolling, Spike`s essentially persuading Twilight to adopt Scootaloo. Which Twilight would certainly discuss with her marefriend Trixie, now wouldn`t she? Oh, and let`s not forget the fact that Spike is already looking on Twilight as if she were his mother, essentially. Which would make him and Scootaloo siblings if Twilight were to adopt Scootaloo. Implied incest much?
i will figure something out tonight but i dont think spike thinks of twilight as a mother but more of a sister
Yes. That just might lead to awkweird situations...
145490 ha but ill try to make sense of stuff with a bonus chap but it wont be in the ponys view it will be like a story
Good idea. Writing from the viewpoint of pony should be done with caution - it might turn out to be annoying if used incorrectly. Best times to narrate from pony`s view is in sequences like diaries, inner monologues, flashbacks and such.
What the F U N is happening?