Spike and Scootaloo were walking down the road toward the library but Spike could not stop thinking about how wonderful Scootaloo smelt he found himself thinking she smelt better than rarity.
Spike walked into the library and called "Twilight I brought a friend for a sleepover is that okay" "I don't know Spike we are really busy this week" "please Twilight please, please, please" begged Spike "fine who is it " "yay thanks Twi and it's Scootaloo c'mon let's go upstairs Scoots" said spike excitedly
"thank you Twilight" replied Scootaloo " it's my pleasure as long as you guys took it up with her paren...." "shhhh Twi" as Spike motioned her to the kitchen.
"what's wrong Spike" asked Twilight "well she doesnt have parents she an orphan" "WHAT she must be cared for at once" she proclaimed as she galloped into the living room.
After hours of games it's was time for bed and Scoots saw Spike pass out quickly and was sad cause she wanted to talk. Scootaloo could feel the heat coming from the baby dragon she tiptoed over and cuddled with him in his basket, she soon fell asleep.
Sorry for the short chap next will be long but I stayed up all night reading the best fim fic evar it's called. My second world.... Check it out peace seeya tommorow
Again, you needz bettar grammar. And it's My Second Life you are referring to. Interesting idea, once again. But I'm fighting myself to read this, as it has quite bad grammar. Also, don't feel like you have to push out chapters if they're really short. Take time, I reccomend 1,250 word chapter at the absolute minimum. But this is your story and you do what you want with it.
If your making a serious fic, then writing it in a way to remind people of 'Spiderses' is a bad thing.
If your making a troll fic, then... carry on I guess
"....It was like throwing a bag of chips at a chain link fence and I forget where I was going with that analogy..."
So, Scootaloo is an orphan and Twilight didn't know? Speaking of which, how did we get here again? Oh, Spike invited her over because...something...and...stuff.
The whole thing feels forced and rushed.
Has anyone else wondered why we dont see any of Scoots family members in the show? I just hope when they start season 3 they will show more of her and hopefully show her family
stop rushing things so much slow down the plot, and skip lines when talking
please rework this story
I see a lot of potential in this if you could just slow down and give . more details
this feels like it was forced and not a lot of thought was a put into this
Still too fast paced