It was another starry night, one fit for eager eyes to observe. Twilight and Nyx were out stargazing again. Twilight found it a great way to bond; it was their most favorite thing to do, for hours at a time. They would often sit there, on the hill just gazing upwards, in silent awe.
“There's so many... do you think we'll ever see them all, mom?”
“I don't think so, sweetie.”
“Well, why don't we try?”
Twilight laughed heartily. “Okay, we will, but not tonight. It’s awfully late. We should get back to the library.”
“Ohhhhh. Okay.” Disappointment flooded her voice, and had easily been picked up by Twilight.
“Don’t be sad... Maybe a certain unicorn can send a certain letter to a certain princess to whip up a really awesome night tomorrow!” Twilight smiled sheepishly with a hopeful look aimed toward her daughter.
“Yay! You’re the best mommy! Let’s head back! I can’t wait for tomorrow night!”
They started the journey back with a peaceful trot, still absorbing whatever they could from another one of Luna’s beautiful nights. That peace was shattered instantly when Nyx looked up and saw a light moving. Fast.
"Look mommy! A shooting star!"
Twilight looked up and saw the light as well. "Make a wish, honey!"
Upon finishing that sentence, the light swerved and appeared to be as if it was hurdling towards them.
Twilight remarked with a puzzled tone, "Huh, that's strange."
*****
An alarm blared in the bridge of the crippled warship.
An electronically, synthesized voice ringed over the intercom:
“WARNING! Engines: Offline.”
“WARNING! Hull integrity failing.”
“WARNING! Nav Systems going offline.”
A tall armored figure was in the bridge of his ship.
“DAMN IT!” The figure angrily broke one of the screens to shut off it’s annoying red flashing. Instantly regretting that, he began to rub the monitor’s frame in desperation, treating the ship as if it was a real person. “C'mon girl, you didn't escape a Spinar onslaught just to fall on some planet in the middle of nowhere!”
“Major, it does not matter what you do. Red Dawn is going down.”
The true statement bit at his confidence, but he managed to troop on with a semi-determined tone. The figure sighed in his helmet and questioned, “Do we at least have a soft landing spot?”
“Our current course will result in our landing here.” The AI brought up an image of a plain right below a large hill.
“Well, at least it fits the bill of being ‘soft’. Hold tight, I'm taking her in.”
“Oh, and you can stop rubbing my broken monitor. It’s just getting creepy now.”
The figure coughed awkwardly and took his hand off the monitor.
*******
Twilight watched in confused as the strange light began to torpedo toward them at an alarmingly increased pace. While Nyx was still looking at it confused, Twilight began to panic; she realized that if they stayed there, they’d be receiving a one way ticket to the moon.
“Nyx, follow me!” she said in a rushed voice.
“But-” she protested.
“No buts, come on!”
Twilight expertly picked up Nyx and placed her securely onto her back. Knowing she was on tightly, she began to full gallop towards safety at speeds that matched Applejack. After getting to a safe distance, she stopped and turned around. The light had grown nearly 10 times bigger and seemed to be growing as it got closer. While they were completely safe, Twilight took no chances and ran a little further before turning around once more. The light now had a large black spot right in the middle, and was still getting closer.
The two ponies were looking in awe at the strange object. “What is it?” they thought simultaneously.
A few moments later, the deafening sound of the crash reverberated through the air. Judging by the sound it made, it hit the ground with an insane amount of force.
A few minutes of silence passed before Twilight's curiosity got the better of her and she asked, ”Want to go check it out?”
Twilight cursed at herself mentally, she may have just exposed her daughter to extreme danger. Who knows what evil could rest in something that just fell from the sky? She silently prayed to both Celestia and Luna that Nyx would answer ‘no’.
“Yeah!” Curiosity had gotten the best of Nyx as well. Like daughter like mother. Twilight cursed at herself some more after hearing Nyx's answer. No going back now.
The two began to walk towards the spot where they had last seen the light.
After a few minutes of careful trotting, the two were back of what remained of the hill. They both looked down to what appeared to be large black object sitting in what was once a large, green plain. They approached the strange object. Behind it, the ground was overturned and smoldering, not only from the heat of orbital reentry, but also the sheer amount of friction from the crash.
Twilight looked to the object’s right side. It was completely black, save for a few white spots of what remained of the captivating white paint near the top of it. After a few moments observation, she realized the marks were words. "Red Dawn," she whispered. Twilight then noticed a large extension on the side of the object, looking remarkably similar to a pegasi’s wings without any feathers. Attached to it’s underside was a large metal box with a pair of tubes jutting out of it.
They both swallowed their fears and trotted further towards the wing. Upon closer observation, they saw what looked like a battered door directly underneath the junction between the wing and the rest of the object. They stopped to investigate further. After a few moments,the door opened. Both Twilight and Nyx took a few steps back, their curiosity gradually losing ground to fear. A large gray object came out of the door and fell to the ground, coughing violently. Curiosity once took over as the two approached to investigate.
The figure turned it's head and saw the two ponies walking towards it. He leaped up and pointed a rifle at the two. Pain and fear replacing logic, he immediately assumed that they were a threat.
“STOP RIGHT THERE!” it barked at the two of them.
The two stopped, startled at the fast transformation from a neutral, hurt being to a hostile, deadly one.
“DON'T MOVE!” it yelled again. He could have been more passive in his demands, but he was a super soldier, not a super diplomat. Spinar never really had a knack for conversation anyway.
Twilight looked closer at the strange thing it was holding. She then realized it was a gun. She had read about guns in an old book about Griffons, and she was well aware that this strange figure would use his if they got too close.
“ONE WRONG MOVE AND I'LL SHOOT!”
Survival instincts kicking in, Nyx took a step back.
The creature’s rifle snapped to her. “I SAID-” The creature started to cough violently again. After a few moments, he fell to the ground, seemingly lifeless.
Twilight’s curiosity got the best of her again and she moved closer. The thing’s head seemed to be made of metal, and what seemed like a large glass eye was a bit below it's top.
"A cyclops?" Twilight thought. Further examination left Twilight with the correct answer: It was wearing a helmet. Her horn began to glow, and soon after the helmet came off. It's white, scarred face, and dark brown mane was revealed. It let out a low groan of pain while it was still unconscious. She examined the creatures side and found a large piece of metal sticking out of it's gray armor, with blood pooling around it. It was wounded. Badly.
Twilight’s horn glowed again as the thing floated into the air.. "Come on Nyx. We’re going home."
~End Prologue~
******
My first story!
Please comment,rate and point out any mistakes!
Human super-soldier in Equestria? Sweet. I am definitely keeping my eye on this one.
Chapter 1 will be up shortly.
I think you should explain who is Nyx. I heard this name before and still don't know who is she. You wrote her down as Twilight's daughter, but it's not clear to me.
Anyways, your writing is good! Nice work!
NYX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're rushing. Slow down, develop and expand the scene, take you're time. What you have here is a good author overview of what you want to happen, but to me as a well developed reader (my fanfiction.net favorites list has over 1600 stories listed) it's too chaotic, fast paced and too lacking in detail for me to immerse myself in the scenes, or to engage/sympathize with the characters
But don't put too much detail that you're readers are spending an hour just to get through one chapter. Trust me, I've seen it happen, and while the plot is interesting, slogging through so much useless information to get to said plot points was absolutely horrendous.
To sum it up, you need more details, but don't put too much. Find that happy medium.
You show great promiss, you just need more practice.
DEAR GOD!!!
Please let me proof read this!!! And change some transition words!!! PLEASE!!!
It sounds like the most epic story evar!!! BUT DEAR CELESTIA THE GRAMMAR!!
Ex. “DAMN IT!C'mon girl,you Please just let me fix the grammar!
Mine. "DAMN IT! C'mon girl, you
NYX NYX NYX NYX NYX NYX NYX NYX NYX NYX NYX!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
HOWEVER: if ANYTHING happens to Nyx in this story, I will KILL YOU!
5438 You. I like you. Solid advice to an author who is new to writing.
EPIC
i love this already, i 5 starred,tracked and murdered my computer because of how awsome it was
at the desc though i was like
"ANOTHER BUCKING HALO CROSS-oh....thank celestia"
They see me editin', they hatin'. But I be derpyin'.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-ihkbGw5m2HE/TxinfHqWr7I/AAAAAAAAbpo/FcB4mz4-w38/s1600/i_derp_what_i_want_by_mazzlebee-d4mse9s.png
i.imgur.com/1nssV.png
Here i am! Happy?
-Glassed
170164
It doesn't help that the picture loos like it came from a halo game.
I pooped
Who the fuck is Nyx?
the olny thing i know thats named Nyx is cannibalistic corpse that jumps into its victm ripping and eating its way out tell there is nothing lft but blood guts and bones
of course this probaly isnt the same thing but i guess i will track this
1159896 nyx is a reincarnated nightmare moon separated from luna in the story past sins and twilight ends up adopting her
I got so exited when I saw a Halo pic with a long story with it. Then I read the description. I cried. Derp
i thought the same friend i was like woohoo halo crossover then read the description and i was like aww damn
Don't use a picture of Halo if it's not a halo crossover.
>_>
I think its gr8 m8 I r8 8 0f 8 I just learned the meaning to that last week lol (the gr8 and stuf derp)
732002 MY QUESTION EXACTLY
Twilight takes the helmet of a creature that has it on for a reason... What if they don't have the same air quality/ makeup. Twilight could have killed him.