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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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"Lee Everett are a killer." You might want to fix that. Overall congrats for coming back and updating the story! I can't wait for more.
2199077 Thank you, it's very good to be back!
But if someone is telling Lee "you, Lee Everett, are a killer." Wouldn't that work?
2199113
It really depends on the tone that you want to imply on the reader (glad you're back by the way).
If you want it to be more declarative and direct, then that would be the route to go.
Hope this helps!
its ALIVE!
awesome critical hit is awesome, but overprotective old man is over protective (and kind of a deuce bag)
2199637 It does, thanks.
Awesome profile picture by the way.
YAY do you know when Episode 2 will be out?
2200090 Not precisely, I'm actually going to spend some time updating my other story, but I'll be sure to let people know when they can start expecting it soon.
2200222
Other story?
2200420 Yeeeeaaaahhhh... Most who enjoy The Trotting Dead may or may not like it... I'm not sure. It was my first attempt at ever making an original story, and the silliness of it kind of embarrasses me... a little. I talk about it a bit in my bio and of course it's on my profile page if you're ever interested.
2200497
sure
I saw how the game ends...I wonder how our friends will react...Imma guess
If memory serves, the game's ending isn't exactly the happiest of endings. Should be interesting to see how things turn out. Granted you don't kill off any of the ponies.
Your description has a typo, but the fact your story exists means I don't have to write it, so I'm giving this a shot anyway.
- *civilization
2252299 Thanks, I'll definitely give it a look!
2253591 I already knew the distinction between the two.
Where did I mess up?
Glad to see that a death was prevented, but how will having both Doug and Carly alive effect the rest of the story I wonder?
Once again, the site won't let me read any mature fics as long as I'm logged in, but that's still a step up from the last month, where for some glitchy reason the site wouldn't let me log in at all.
Unfortunately, my reading of your latest chapter is a month old and likely won't go into too much detail, but let me just say I'm glad you're back to writing this, even if you're taking a break to write your other fic. It means I know you'll definitely update again in due time.
That said, this most recent chapter did seem a bit rushed compared to the previous ones, but I can't put my finger on how, especially since I just came home from the graveyard shift and am about to go to bed (though just glossing over the conversation with Doug and Carley seemed like a violation of Show-Don't-Tell). Fortunately, I think you can handle the next chapters pretty nicely, and I'm curious to see if and how things change since Doug and Carley both made it out alive. I wonder, will you do any filler regarding what happened during the three month time skip between Episodes 1 and 2? Maybe Twilight can use magic to get some technology to work despite the power outage and, about a month into the outbreak, watch the rather depressing news broadcast partway through this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQRLJm2yN3I
And what's this, Lee let the ponies in on his recent past? A small part of me is disappointed you didn't save that until Episode 3, but having Rainbow insist is fitting with her character and thus it feels better that it happened this way.
Also, I've had a few suggestions for the coming chapters, some more radical than others, but I'd rather PM them to you so as not to spoil your other reviewers if you decide to use any of them. I'll wait til you've expressed curiosity and give me permission, of course.
Good luck, both with this fic and your other one.
2273615 My reasoning for not giving detail with Lee's conversation with Doug or Carley was honestly because I didn't know what they would say to one another. Whether you save Carley or Doug, they both end up asking Lee why he saved them instead of the other. Since that was the only reason the game had Lee talk with them, I guess I just didn't find it necessary to add that part since they were both alive; hence, I honestly didn't know what to have them talk about.
Thank you, though for giving your honest opinion, I am working on chapter 1 of episode 2 right now, and what I think I'm going to do is alternate between stories for every update.
And thanks again for your support! I'm glad you're enjoying the story thus far!
Oh, and I wouldn't mind hearing some ideas being pitched, so go right ahead and let me know what's on your mind.
Next, on The Trotting Dead...
[youtube=faOjeQhwK2Q]
Good to see you're varying things a little bit by saving Doug and Carley, but don't be afraid to kill characters, or save them in different situations, in fanfiction, as with any written work, it's best if your reader isn't quite sure what's going to happen.
im glad both made it out alive o.0 hmm i wonder how this turnes out since they both live :P its hinted at i believe they at a tiny tiny TINY crush on eachother maybe some relationship building?
I imagined Clementine's voice coming out of Rainbow Dash. It was the most adorable thing I've ever thought of in my entire life.
Well, this is certainly an interesting story. And seeing that the ponies being there actually made a difference in who gets to live is great. I do have one problem, though. In The Walking Dead universe, zombies didn't exist in their fictional media. Just something I wanted to point out.
Yay, an actual change. Now if this doesn't throw things off I'm definitely going to be disappointed.
very nice. with both carley and doug alive, i am left to imagine the fallout thats gonna in episode three....oh god...
very nice. with both carley and doug alive, i am left to imagine the fallout thats gonna in episode three....oh god...
3590835 nice profile pic... i love those cartoon animation series.
And thus, the world was plunged into darkness... where the dead thrive.
Nicely done.
3590835
I lvoe your icon!
Thing Thing!
YOU SON OF A!!!!!!!
Even tho I know what will happen, it still makes me pissed!!
or not......