• Published 3rd Nov 2012
  • 1,204 Views, 182 Comments

The Psychopath Interviews - The Psychopath

The Psychopath interrogates the characters of people on this site

  • ...

Special 1: Impaling (Out of date)

(The character being interviewed is from Nova Shino)

One of the most dangerous places of Equestria was not a desert with burning sands, whose intense heat can melt your flesh off your bones, or a sea of strong gusts and waves high and powerful enough to cut steel. No. It was a forest. A simple forest. Something bland and typical, but this was no ordinary forest. It was Everfree. Known for its dangerous creatures and rich fauna and flora, the Everfree forest was the next location for an interview. In one of the rare clearings stood nothing but stood nothing. There was simply soil covered in a green moss, along with the terrifying beasts surrounding it. Why did they not step here? A green stallion was sitting in the middle, waiting for something. His triangular pupils spinning in anger and frustration as he waited for his first guest.

“Look out!” Just then, a blue pegasus came spiraling down, smashing into one of the trees and knocking said tree down. “Ow.” He pulled himself up and shook his head to clear it from the fog that had set in. He was a simple water blue with a brown mane. Said mane had a white streak running through it, leading to the end of his slightly ragged tail. All he wore was a simple white and black flight suit and white stetson hat. On the suits flank was a red circle surrounded by spikes.

The green stallion cracked his neck and tilted his head to the pegasus.”You are the invitee?” he spoke in a sinister tone.

“Yep. Nova Shino’s my name.” The pegasus said with a playful tone in his voice.

“Do not speak like that to me. I do not like those who try to act ‘joyful’ within my prescence. Now, I’ve been told to ask you a few questions, correct?” Sociopath growled as he threw a pilum at a tree, breaking it in half and taking a beast with it.

Nova stared at the place Sociopath threw the pilum at with wide eyes and a few less than nice words running through his head. “Uh... okay. What do you want to know?”

“Do you have any family that I might need to know about?” Sociopath’s breathing was becoming more and more pressed, indicating his anger despite a lack of any exterior appearances.

“I didn’t really associate with any family before. Most of the people you would want to know about are either friends or simply acquaintances.” Nova Sighed as he looked up at the night sky.

“Dead?” Sociopath smiled.

“Not really. Just... far away.”

“Damn.” Sociopath cursed under his breath.” So, where do you live?”

“I travel around. Though I mostly have stayed in Canterlot.” Nova said as he smiled.

Sociopath was standing around, with several spears sticking out from the ground. He found the time to chuck them at the forest openings in the trees, constantly cursing despite the sound of painful roars erupting from the green mass.

“Have you ever managed to impale more than five beasts on a spear?” he asked Nova as he continued to throw his weapons.

“I don't really use spears. If and when I do use a blade weapon I prefer swords.”

“Hmph. I remember, back during the wars. ALL the griffons that I impaled on a stick. We sometimes roasted ‘em and ate them. Gave you proteins.” Sociopath shook his hoof with a smile. “So what about you? Any stories of war and battle to share?”

“I fought off 50 changelings with this bad boy.” Nova said as he took of his hat, reached into it a bit farther than normally should be possible, and pulled out a small device that looked like an oddly shaped box. “Does that count?”

“Changelings? I’ve heard of them. Apparently the modern Council’s Militia is just as useless as the new ‘princesses’. If my militia was still around, you’d be eating changeling soup.” Sociopath stomped the ground, and several thorns erupted from the ground to impale a boulder several feet away.

“Don’t bad mouth Celestia in my presence.” Nova said, his eyes taking a sudden red glow to them. “Especially considering my profession.”

Sociopath glared at the pegasus.”Watch your words, colt. I am much older than you, I’m the chief of the council’s militia, and I know just how irritating those little ‘alicorns’, as Psycho named them, can be. Speaking of which, do you have any powers?”

Nova suddenly glowed a brilliant white, blinding all that looked. When the light faded, a unicorn colt with dark blue fur and snow white hair was standing in his place. The unicorn wore somewhat bulky white armor with red streaks here and there. “I’m glad you asked. I’m... not exactly a normal run of the mill pegasus.”

“No. You seem to be one who sucks up to the winged brats. What kind of power was that? Morphing? Psh. Changelings can do the same.” Sociopath was finding pleasure in irritating his guest quite a lot.

A slight glint appeared in Nova’s eye as he pulled out a large device with a small missile in it. He pulled the trigger and the missile went flying away into the forest. a small mushroom cloud was seen where it striked. Then another flash appeared where Nova was, replacing the one unicorn with two pegasi. The first was the normal Nova Shino, the other was a bone white with tattered and frayed wings, a golden shield with a skull on it, a rather large sword in a sheath, and an eyepatch over one of his eyes.

“Your soul?”

“No. This is Medievil. My silent side and the element of selfishness. Oh yea, i forgot!” Nova suddenly knocked off his hat, and stuck almost half his body into it, with ‘Medievil’ rolling his one eye. When Nova came back up, he was holding a chest. “The elements of chaos.”

“Hmph. Chaos. Do you have any backstory?”

Nova set the chest down. “I remember waking up right on a road. No idea how I got there. I was close to canterlot, so I went there. Got up to the palace, asked to see the head of the place. Guards wouldn't let me in. So I... made them let me in. Went straight up to the princesses chambers, knocking guards out as I did so. I think I took out fifty or so by the time I got up there. Princess didn't take too kindly to that.”

“When they discovered how terrible their guards were, I wouldn’t be surprised.” Sociopath tossed another spear into the woods, then cursed again.”Only four.”

Nova pulled a glass out of his hat and sipped some of the drink inside. “The princess took me down in about... nine? ten minutes? Frankly that’s a new record. She threw me in the dungeon until she could figure out what to do with me. WITHOUT execution.” Nova shot a sideways glare at Sociopath with that last part. “...and then, Discord got loose.”

“Ha! You were defeated by Celestia? You must be a poor fighter.” Sociopath smirked.

“Have you seen that girl fight? She controls the damn sun for christs sakes! I could have taken her down sure, but I held back because I didn't want to cripple one of my only chances of figuring out what the hell happened to me!”

“Yeah. Okay. So you really have no connections left with your family, and is there anything else to your story here?”

“Lets just say I’ve met some gods in my life. Apparently, I was sent here to act as a balance for chaos and harmony. The Yin to the Yang so it would seem. after a while, I wound up becoming Celestia’s handy man so to speak.” Nova Sighed as he picked up the chest and set it back in his hat. “Now, do you have any more questions?”

Sociopath approached the stallion’s face with pure determination.

“Do you wish to join the World of Insanity? Think about the strength you might gain.”

“What's the cost?” Nova asked with one of his brows raised.

“There is no cost. You will simply obey the heralds words, like me.”

“Hm...” Nova starting thinking, gaining strength, and only having to follow the words of these so called ‘heralds.’ “...nah. I have my own brand of crazy to think about. Besides, No cost? Theres always a cost. You're skimping me on the deal.” Nova said with a look in his eye.

“You’ve already past the requisites.” Sociopath grinned.

“All but one.”

“Which would be?”

“I’m not a murderer.” Nova Shino grinned like a madman, and pulled out a stun grenade. “See you in hell Sociopath.” The grenade went off, blinding The Sociopath. When the light cleared, Nova Shino was gone.

Sociopath just stood firmly in place, then began to chuckle. “Insanity never dies.”