I awoke with blurry vision, a terrible headache, and I was freezing cold laying on the floor in the middle of Zecora’s hut. The first thing that I noticed once my vision cleared up was that I’d been wrapped in a blanket. I looked around and began to search for Zecora, I couldn‘t find her in the small, one roomed hut. I rolled over onto my back, something was making it a lot tougher to do, but I eventually got myself repositioned. I pushed out from under the blanket and threw it off of me. I felt something weighing me down when I stood up. I stretched my back, or at least tried to.
When I reached my hands backwards to push against my lower back, I felt something blocking my arms. I turned my head to my left and out of the corner of my eye I saw large wings protruding from my back. WINGS! Giant grey feathered wings! It was all coming back to me, as it were. I remembered the potion, the plan, and the pain. Oh Celestia, the pain. It was unbearable! It felt as if somebody had taken a molten hot scalpel and driven it into to skin above my shoulder blade and made a five inch long incision along the bone, then turned it around some inside of me, and finally moved my scapulae to the outside of my body. However, When I woke up my scapulae were inside of my back, still exactly where they should be.
“Zecora! It worked!”
No Response.
“Zecora? Hello?”
I heard hoofsteps coming from the direction of the door. When the door inched open it revealed an over encumbered Zebra. She was struggling to carry her stuffed saddlebags, a few boxes that were resting on her back, she was balancing three or so boxes on her head, and kicking one medium sized one on the ground in front of her. I walked over to her and picked up the ones off of her head and the one she was kicking. I was met with a warm smile.
“Thanks you dude, for assisting me in carrying the ingredients that I have accrued. I see that the brew, has been a success for you?”
I nodded the best I could behind the massive tower of boxes in between my arms. I didn’t know how to fold up my newly formed wings, so I accidentally I ended up knocked over many of Zecora’s ‘souvenirs‘, as she calls them, that adorned the walls. I put the boxes down on the counter on the far side of the hut, opposite to the door.
“Zecora, how long will I have these wings for?”
She trotted over to a giant bookshelf, stood on her hind legs, and pulled out an enormous purple book down from the top shelf in her mouth. She threw the book down onto a wooden table which made an audible thud on contact, and began reading off the page.
“Potion of the Pegasi, allows anypony the ability to fly, and the duration is not clearly specified. Possibly it is a few years, maybe just a single month, after that time the wings on your back will molt slowly and the bone will weaken until it must to be surgically, or magically - Oh, horseapples…” She sunk her head down and frowned, but I didn’t know why at first. Her head sunk down further in depression and her ears flopped down. I felt bad, so I walked over to her and knelt down next to her. She had just realized that nothing rhymes with month!
“Zecora, are you okay?” She shook her head. “What’s wrong?” Of course I’d figured it out, I just wanted to hear her speak. I saw her open her mouth as if to talk, but she just sighed.
She slowly walked over to the bookshelf once again and struggled to pull out an volume with a dark blue cover. As she pulled it out of the packed bookcase I saw her struggle heavily with it, it was even bigger than the last book. I tried to offer assistance but she shrugged me off as I went to grab the book from her. She dropped it once it slid out of the shelf, forcing out an enormous cloud of dust. When the dust cleared and we stopped choking I saw that the cover was written in some sort of language I couldn’t understand, even the characters were different!
She flipped through to the back of the book and took a quick look at what I guessed was the index. She then flipped through a few hundred pages with her hooves and landed on the page she was looking for. She picked up the book in her mouth and handed it to me. The page had a picture of an earth pony walking with their head slumped down. The next picture to the right of it had the same pony flying in the air with a pair of newly acquired wings that were outlined with a dotted line. The pony was grinning ear to ear, above their back was velocity marks that indicated forward motion. Flying.
“Zecora, what am I supposed to be looking for?”
Zecora motioned to me with her arms in a flapping motion. She wanted me to try to fly. I said goodbye but she decided to follow me out of her hut. My wings were still at full span and getting out of the door normally was impossible, so I decided to go out sideways. I stepped outside into the smog and began trying to flap my wings. I could feel the muscles but I couldn’t move them.
-----
“Rainbow Dash, please do not act Rash. This is my fault you see, it’s all because of me.” I heard the voice call out from behind a mountain of books.
“I-I-I…” I couldn’t even put together a sentence, I noticed the shadowy figure emerging from behind the mountain as Zecora, nopony else rhymes like that. Dad was stirring in his sleep, I saw something on his back move under the blankets when he rolled over.
“Zecora, what’d you do?” She told me the story of how Dad arrived at her hut, how he asked her if there’s a way he could fly, how he passed out, how he assisted her with the boxes, everything I’d come to knew Dad would do but then she told me why he was unconscious. He’d tried to fly, what a featherbrain! There’s a reason why Pegasus pony fillies and colts don’t fly. It’s because they don’t know how!
From what Zecora told me I can gather that he’d tried to fly and, for the most part, succeeded. Somewhat. But, somewhere in the middle of Ponyville he’d lost control while trying to descend and plummeted down to the ground. Turns out he landed near the library and was in bad shape. Twilight did an x-ray spell with her magic, and turns out that he had broken his left arm in three places, gotten a bad concussion and even snapped his right wing’s ulna and dislocated his right shoulder entirely.
Twilight interjected amidst Zecora’s diagnosis to tell me that they’d sent news of Dad’s accident to Nurse Redheart and that they were waiting for the hospital to send a doctor who could fix Dad. As soon as Twilight finished an ear piercing screech echoed through the library, it came from where the front door is, or rather where it was. Twilight and I raced to the door, Zecora was busy meditating in the middle of the floor. Once we arrived at the door we saw an unconscious Earth Pony.
She had a light blue coat, mint green mane that was tied in a bun, and a red cross for a cutie mark. Yeah, no doubt she was the nurse, I thought. “Nurse!” I called out. “She must’ve fainted from the small pool of blood on the ground in front of the door. C‘mon Twi, help me wake her up.” Twilight shook Nurse Tenderheart awake with me, eventually she came to from her nap. She opened her eyes and her face turned crimson in a blush. She stood up and silently walked into the library after regaining her composure.
The Nurse trotted over to Dad and sat down, she began doing some tests; Normal things like taking temperature with a thermometer, checking reflexes, as well as feeling around his limbs. She stood up and looked at Twilight, Zecora and I.
“He’s, uhm, in really bad shape.”
112460 Sir, this is a fanfiction website. People can write about whatever they want, whenever they want. Open endings are a calling for writers to continue with what they thought was going to happen or what should happen in their eyes. I took the initiative to write an MLD sequel and I am very happy I did it, and based on the ratings I received so were over 200 other people. Don't be a parasprite, EpicBG is correct. This is fiction, not real, and lets not forget about the world of magic and how anything can happen. It's magic, it does whatever the buck it wants to. Quit being a and enjoy the story for its entertainment. If you choose not to, then stop coming back, no one is forcing you to read it.
Now the rest of this is directed at anyone else. Don't be so nit picky! Almost none of us, if not none of us, are professional writers on this website. We do it for the love of the show and because we like showing what we can do. Pointing out major plot holes is a great thing to do, it makes the author think about what they write and how they can further better it. Once again, I reiterate myself, these are fictions written by non-professionals. No need to be so critical about them. I support you EpicBG in your writings because writing is fun to do and because I enjoy it when others write and show off their talent as well. Keep this story rolling.
I like where this is going. The question is : How long will MLD continue? Will the torch be continued to be passed? Or will we as readers and potential writers be satisfied at one point?
hA! he screwed up
“He’s, uhm, in really bad shape.” gee... ya think? anyway, great read. and i wonder if that potion has any side-effects do to the fact it wasn't designed for humans.
Fallen Angel much ?
Brilliant deduction, Sherlock.
God! You really hate Brian, don't you?
And where the hell is nurse Redheart when you need her? Screw this nurse and her obvious statements, get Redheart up in this!
just got to this story, interesting
Nice. I'm one of those "Happy Ending" people. Plzzzzzzzzzz Continue this i need to know what happeneds!!!!!!
Wow. What incredible powers of deduction she possesses.
At least he didn't break his neck.
This series is my first run through with fanfiction and by god did i make a great choice
LOVED the origional, the sequel, and am really liking where this one is going. Hope you finish it
I should report you... For messing with my ! Your plot lines have me laughing, crying and excited, each emotion more powerful than the last!
Also, I have to ask... You have said that "I'm just interested in improving my writing skills" - BS. Are you secretly a professional writer? Seriously? I can say I've seen "Pros" that don't have the thought and planning you show. I figure either that or you have some real life experience under your belt. Perhaps with a family and daughter? I get this "vibe" from your chapters that you're drawing from more than a little of your own life and sharing it on the page with us.
Well, wherever you get the amazing inspiration you do. Please keep it up! This is one of the most heart warming "Fics" I've read in quite a while and am absolutely on the edge of my seat waiting for more.
125384 Thought I'd love to be a professional writer and enjoy writing, I swear to Celestia that I am not a professional writer. Possibly natural talent? I don't know. I am only a freshman in high school and have never had any experience with writing aside from essays for school (Which I half-ass), Blog posts for video game reviews (which I just started two days ago), and I read quite a lot. And no, I have no children or a family, heck, I don't even have a girlfriend.
I have also been told by many that I'm much older mentally, as well as physically (I've been told that I look around anywhere from sixteen to nineteen so many times it's not even funny) than I actually am and I believe that. As for the emotional impact of my writing? I write this story as if I'm in Dad's shoes and have to deal with his problems. I didn't know my writing had such an emotional impact on so many people, I tried to make it feel as much like the original 'My Little Dashie' as possible. Guess I succeeded. Thank you very much!
125476 Oh My. Apparently I had made a grave mistake in my expectations of you. Being a single father myself, I just blindly assumed that you had a family of your own, as you write about Dashie and Dad's relationship in such a flowing way that it seems completely genuine.
I suppose the root of the mistake is obviously in me. I kind of relate to the story as I recently lost my wife to the effects of marijuana. Think weed is a fun thing with no chance of OD'ing or ruining your life?
Tell my Daughter that. My Wife was driving home when a "Bro" (as in soon-to-be-college-drop-out, not brony) almost missed his exit on the highway on his way to get late night fast-food, blazed out of his tiny mind on weed (tox screen showed zero alcohol in his system).
He clipped her SUV at a roughly 45 degree angle slightly in front of the rear tire well and pushed it into an oncoming semi-truck. Thats not even the worst part, I was on the phone with her when it happened. In the course of about 5 seconds our normal conversation changed to honking,
a sickening metal scraping noise, and finally her screaming in pain to an eerie silence.
Now, I didn't start writing this with the intention of preaching to anyone about weed, the memory just kind of came back (again) - but EpicBG, I would personally suggest, please don't smoke weed.
You're smart, I mean really smart and well-spoken, you don't need that.
Ok, so after sharing that somewhat negative bit, I want you to know that not everything is horrible. My Daughter and I love to watch MLP:FIM together. (Her name is Stacy, and is 6. But as of late likes to go by the name "Luna" or as she says "LOO-NAH" =) It's interesting to
see the little gears spinning in her mind. In particular I recall that Mare-Do-Well episode. I didn't want to ruin the somewhat transparent plot, so I played dumb. At first Stacy was suspicious that Mare-Do-Well and Rainbow Dash might be the same person. I explained that they
were both on screen at the same time, to which she explained "Well... Um. Magic?" She then debated the merits on the mane 6 in regards to who it might be, along with appropriate confusion: "Mare-do-well can fly? Is it Celestia?" at the end, at the big reveal, she literally
said "ohmygosh! ohmygosh! that is so COOOOL!"
So, after that rambling - I'll just say... Thanks again for the awesome writing, it serves as a reminder that you should be happy for the things you have, and not bitter for the things you dont.
You should think about going to college for writing. I bet you could write one hell of an application letter. Think about it.
125476 Oh My. Apparently I had made a grave mistake in my expectations of you. Being a single father myself, I just blindly assumed that you had a family of your own, as you write about Dashie and Dad's relationship in such a flowing way that it seems completely genuine.
I suppose the root of the mistake is obviously in me. I kind of relate to the story as I recently lost my wife to the effects of marijuana. Think weed is a fun thing with no chance of OD'ing or ruining your life?
Tell my Daughter that. My Wife was driving home when a "Bro" (as in soon-to-be-college-drop-out, not brony) almost missed his exit on the highway on his way to get late night fast-food, blazed out of his tiny mind on weed (tox screen showed zero alcohol in his system).
He clipped her SUV at a roughly 45 degree angle slightly in front of the rear tire well and pushed it into an oncoming semi-truck. Thats not even the worst part, I was on the phone with her when it happened. In the course of about 5 seconds our normal conversation changed to honking,
a sickening metal scraping noise, and finally her screaming in pain to an eerie silence.
Now, I didn't start writing this with the intention of preaching to anyone about weed, the memory just kind of came back (again) - but EpicBG, I would personally suggest, please don't smoke weed.
You're smart, I mean really smart and well-spoken, you don't need that.
Ok, so after sharing that somewhat negative bit, I want you to know that not everything is horrible. My Daughter and I love to watch MLP:FIM together. (Her name is Stacy, and is 6. But as of late likes to go by the name "Luna" or as she says "LOO-NAH" =) It's interesting to
see the little gears spinning in her mind. In particular I recall that Mare-Do-Well episode. I didn't want to ruin the somewhat transparent plot, so I played dumb. At first Stacy was suspicious that Mare-Do-Well and Rainbow Dash might be the same person. I explained that they
were both on screen at the same time, to which she explained "Well... Um. Magic?" She then debated the merits on the mane 6 in regards to who it might be, along with appropriate confusion: "Mare-do-well can fly? Is it Celestia?" at the end, at the big reveal, she literally
said "ohmygosh! ohmygosh! that is so COOOOL!"
So, after that rambling - I'll just say... Thanks again for the awesome writing, it serves as a reminder that you should be happy for the things you have, and not bitter for the things you dont.
You should think about going to college for writing. I bet you could write one hell of an application letter. Think about it.
126938 I'm sorry for your loss. That's such a inadequate phrase, really. I don't know what else to say. Personally, I think that I would have gone off the deep end and let my depression encompass my life if that happened to me. You're a strong man, and best of luck in the future with your daughter and yourself. The way my story is tied together, I tried to make it seem like it has actually happened. I have a deep sense of sympathy and understanding for others and can easily put myself in almost anyone's shoes and understand what I believe their thoughts to have been. That's exactly how I've made my story so fluid.
Also, I don't plan on nor have I ever smoked marijuana. It's a waste of time, money, effort, and braincells. If you're referencing my other story, 'Dopey Pie', I wrote that to let off some steam after I was depressed, stressed, and pissed off at the world. I needed something to laugh at. Laughter is the best medicine as they say. So why not a silly stoner fic? It took a lot of googling and information digging, and watching movies like Jay and Silent Bob, as well as Tenacious D, Harold and Kumar, and Cheech and Chong (considering i knew next-to nothing about Pot) but I think it came out as a successful fic. And college? For writing? You really think I'm that good? Wow. I don't know what to say except thanks. That still feels inadequate though. Final thing, I wrote that first reply when I was in a 'mood'. It was two AM, I had a bad day at school, and was terribly exhausted. I just sort of smashed it out onto the keyboard. That's why I edited it so heavily and removed all the extremely pessimistic parts from it, they were blunt and unnecessary.
I've never had anyone think that I'm a professional writer, let alone have a family with children of my own. I really am at a loss for words. Language is such a crude thing. I'll end this reply with an indescribable amount of 'Thank Yous', and be sure to check out for updates in the future.
125476 dude that's awesome, I'm a freshman too and I just started writing my first story ever, not just fanfic (different worlds kindred hearts) loving the story. *insert shameless self-promotion here*
In my image of what the guy looks like, brian is a good name for him
Also I will make my first story. U and ty inspired me to make one.though its not going to be a continuation of MLD.i hope you will like it