Chapter 5:Sweetie vs. Rarity: Battle for Spike's Heart
Rarity stood stock still staring at her sisters glowing horn. Her mind in shambles. Her sister, her sweet innocent little sister had JUST STOLEN HER PRINCE!!! Needless to say she wasn't really in her right mind. Her right eye twitched. Strands of her mane, which she spent hours every morning perfecting and arranging to make sure it was NEVER out of place, had small strands popping up in every direction. This all pointed to one simple fact. Rarity was about to have a breakdown. Twilight couldn't help but stare and ask herself if that was what she looked like when she went crazy. Spike and Sweetie on the other hand knew that was exactly it and slowly started backing away.
“My wonderful little sister how good it is to see you this morning.” Rarity stated while slightly tilting her head to the side, a huge Cheshire like grin adorning her face. “You have some serious explaining to do my little sister.”
Sweetie was just on the short side of freaking out herself. Twilight she could handle, she had seen her this way before. Namely during what everyone referred to as Lesson Zero. Her sister though had never snapped before she had always held the decorum of a refined noblemare. This was the exact reason Sweetie couldn't even form a coherent sentence. “Well.. sis... Spike.. and sad...lonely.. didn't want to hurt...” She trailed off getting quieter and quieter after each word till you could barely hear her squeaking out the last little bit. She had backed into a corner and even though her sister hadn't taken a single step it felt like she was being towered over and looked down on.
“Rarity maybe you should calm down.” Interjected Spike noticing the discomfort on his newly acquired young loves face. “Take deep breaths, in and out in and out.” he stated trying to get Rarity to calm down with Twilight's preferred method whenever she felt “out of it”. The method worked, partially at least. Rarity did seem to calm down and the smile adorning her face vanished replaced instead by a large scowl.
Sweetie by this point had retreated into the the corner of the room right beside the door. She knew her sister was a bit upset about something but really wasn't sure exactly sure of the reason why. Though she believed it had something to do with the cloth she had used to make the cloak she now wore. 'Maybe it would have been a smarter idea to use scraps that she was gonna throw away.' She pondered to herself while her big sister stared down at her with the disapproving scowl. “Um big sis if your mad that I used some of your fabric without asking I did use the cheap stuff you always have stuck in that big bin. Though if you really wanted me to I could maybe make something from the Scraps you were going to throw away.” Sweetie mumbled to her sister.
Rarity while still upset noticed the cloak her sister now wore. Overall it wasn't a bad design, sure she could have added a bit more flair to the neck area maybe a little lace around the end. She almost got lost in Inspiration before she quickly pulled herself back and stared down even harder on her sister. She was upset. No upset was a bit of an understatement. She was a bit furious and yet even though she was she couldn't direct ALL of the rage purely at her sister... That didn't stop her from trying though.
“No, my dear little sister,”Rarity spat, “This isn't about the fabric. I am proud that you thought to use the stuff that I can buy in bulk at almost no cost. It isn't even a bad design. But I digress, Its not about the cloak. NO! Its how you stole my PRINCE! HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE!!!” Rarity stated slowly increasing in volume until she was shrieking out the last part. Twilight and Spike were staring slack jawed at the sudden outburst by the white mare.
“What do you mean yours? Who are you talking about?” Sweetie asked with a look of genuine confusion on her face. She had not heard the part about Spike being royalty and as such couldn't understand what Rarity was so mad at her for. As far as she knew there wasn't anyone Rarity was seeing and she had made it clear last night that Spikes crush was plenty one sided.
“Oh don't make out like you don't know. You knew spike liked me but you just had to show up and steal him from me.” Rarity hissed at her sister.
Now Sweetie was utterly confused. “What do you mean I stole him from you? He told me last night that you told him he could never be with you.” Sweetie was by this point getting a little bit grumpy towards her sister as well and let it show in the later part of her sentence which didn't go unnoticed by Rarity and thus only fueled her rage to higher levels.
“He very well could have had a chance with me If he would have just tried a bit harder. BUT YOU!!! had to step in and fill his heart before he got back on his feet. If you hadn't stepped in he would have gotten back up and tried harder and he would have gotten me.” Rage was billowing off Rarity as she ranted toward Sweetie Belle. Her mane had started to smolder a bit. But she wasn't the only one...
Sweetie was nearly ready to slap her sister but held herself in check. Which was a good thing thanks to her new strength she would have put her through a wall. Twilight and Spike watched on in horror. Sweetie wasn't quite as out of it as Rarity was but even they could tell that the tension in the room was about to reach a breaking point. It was just a matter of who tipped first. Biting her lip to keep from letting slip a remark she really didn't want to Sweetie just stared at her smoking sister. She didn't want to let the remark out but it was right there on the tip of her tongue. Twilight was shaking her head no but Sweetie wasn't going to back down from this. It would either be her or her sister and she wasn't going to let Rarity win this stand off. Not with Spike on the line.
Rarity opened her mouth to speak to deliver the final verbal slap right as Sweetie Spoke. “Your right he could have been yours he could have gone back to you. But he didn't he came to me. He finally saw your true colors and its not the pretty white princess wannabe that you project yourself to be.” Rarities eyes went to pinpricks. Her hair completely ignited. Twilight winced having never been on the outside of a unicorns rage burst. Rarity completely snapped.
With all the might the fashionatta could put into her legs she lunged forgetting all magic or all self restraint she had ever been taught she charged. Horn down and ready to try and impale Sweetie. She closed the distance in just under a second. Twilight saw it coming and activated her horn to grab Rarity and restrain her but before she could Rarity just stopped. It was if Rarity had been frozen in time except for the fact her eyes were still moving. Which had widened to the size of dinner plates. Twilight sat stunned she had been trained from around Sweetie's age to react quickly and with as little charge up time as possible and she had been outpaced by Sweetie Belle. She was Flabbergasted and so was Rarity. Rarity looked down on her sister who had a large frown on her face with her horn glowing.
Realizing what she was about to do the rage Rarity had been feeling broke and so did her composure. Tears fell as she started to sob. Not at the fact she had lost her prince but at the fact that she nearly attacked her sister for obtaining the one thing she herself had always wanted. The field holding her broke and Sweetie rushed to her sister. She knew the fight was over Rarity had given up and in doing so needed her to be there for her. Even if Rarity had been trying to hurt her sister Sweetie was still her sister. Sweetie would always stay by her side when it was needed. “I am so sorry Sweetie. Can you forgive me?” Sobbed Rarity.
“Of coarse big sis. Even if the entire world turned against you your still my sister and I will always stay by your side... as long as spike can be there to?” She finished with a questioning tone.
Rarity looked up with her tear stained face and couldn't deny her sister what she had found because of her own selfish words. “I would be honored to have spike be by your side as long as you stay by mine.” Rarity replied slowly kissing the top of her sister's head.
“We're not interrupting anything are we?”
Sweetie jumped a good 3 hooves in the air and shot behind the couch from the new voice that had popped up right behind her head. Looking around the couch corner it was her turn for her eyes to drop to pinpricks as both of the Royal Sisters stood in the center of the room.
“NNOOO I DON WANNA BE A PRINCESS!!!!”
YESSSSSSS!
3116390 I told people before I will finish this story even if I have to tie myself to a chair I will finish it.But anyway this chapter is what I plan to be the hardest chapter to write... why because i don't like the dark drama stuff but I had to do it if only to have them reconsile with each other.
SWEET! IT UPDATED!! You have made my day! Thank you so much, I was looking forward to this for a while!
31.media.tumblr.com/1af95899c7cc738b12fae3400136ee07/tumblr_mguzawhjoG1s2ij0ho1_500.gif
3116432 Welcome back.
Last line... priceless.
his story hadn't updated in so long when I saw it my news feed I couldn't remember what it was.
"NNNNOOOOOOOOO! I don wanna be a princess!" Yes...just yes.
alot of people Like to put cliffhangers.. I don't I like putting amazing lines that draw people for more at my closing.
Hooray!!! It's back!!!!!
And now a bit of a public service: Everyone that has read this so far will see that Spike and Sweetie are a matched pair. However, it seems that it is implied that Spike chose Sweetie Belle as his Harmony mate after Rarity basically rejected him. THAT IS NOT THE CASE!!!!!! It states specifically in the story that thanks to that guide book on dragons, the harmony dragon does not choose the mate, but that THE MATE CHOOSES THE DRAGON!!!!! Sweetie Belle always had a crush on Spike, and when she shared her magic with Spike at his darkest, she unintentionally chose him as her special somepony. Why Sweetie Belle transformed into an alicorn after confessing to Spike is still a bit of a mystery (to me at least), but hopefully this covers up any potential confusion that may be happening.
And yes, Rarity, you had the power to become a princess yourself, but you selfishly didn't. Once again, talk about taking a book by its cover. Besides, Spike's powers and abilities wouldn't have been at its highest level if the two of them were not in harmony (kinda defeats the purpose, doesn't it?)
You know, I am glad Rarity and Sweetie Belle made up, but Rarity sounded very superficial after explaining about how Spike could come back to her, and accusing Sweetie Belle of stealing him away from her.
I'd completly forgotten about this fic. So nice to see it's back.
Wow how very selfish of you Rarity. Glad to see you were able to work out your problems though.
3118396 She can be a little prissy at times.
3118485 Shame on you, Rarity.
3118849 Yes shame on you. You drove Spike away through your own accord, it's not Sweetie Belle's fault you were so heartless and cruel. Ever heard of "Let em down gently".
3119040 Apparently she hasn't.
3119157 Well she's learned now hopefully. Too little too late though. Sorry Rarity I'm just telling it like it is.
3119509 Her loss , her sister's gain.
600 words into the next chapter most likely will sit around 2k. later chapters will have more when I have more fun stuff to write about.
I do wish people would tell me why they downvoted my story. though I won't lie I guess 100 to 15 votes is not bad for a first time writer.
3120417
9 times out of 10, you can safely assume that downvotes are simply personal reasons (readers don't like the premise, characters, potential shipping if that is covered, what have you), or just because the user that does it is being a flank. Rarely, it seems that a downvote is accompanied by a legitimate concern or criticism describing the reason(s) for the downvote.
For example: This story has a SweetieSpike ship in it, Sweetie is transformed into an Alicorn, and Rarity initially shows as a shallow and vain mare that just wanted to have Spike after saying she didn't want him in that way (classic "have their cake and eat it too" premise). Right there, there are users that have issues with Rarity's characterization of being a golddigger, users that are against alicornication from normal ponies/filles, and users that don't like the SweetieSpike ship simply because they want those respective characters be with other characters. (Personally, I love all the premises that have been show so far, it's completely plausible for me and highly enjoyable.)
In short, just do what you do, continue what you feel should happen. After all the biggest fan and critic is yourself.
3118201
It actually says: The reason behind the ascension process is complex but simple at the same time. They have to choose a mate. Which in and of itself is a simple task. What makes this task difficult is that the mate they choose is almost always a pony with very few examples of griffons being chosen. One major thing to note about these mates is that they are not just chosen by the dragon the mate chooses the dragon. This is one of the main reasons behind so few ascended. The name Harmony Dragon is also chosen because of the dragons choice to live in harmony with their mate. While most dragons rather live a life of solitude or with other dragons.
3126013 This. on a side note you will learn later exactly WHY Sweetie becomes a princess and it has nothing to do with spike... well mostly nothing.
3126304 Well then, I look forward to seeing how that unfolds.
3126013
I derped, didn't I? That's what I get for reading so late when I should be sleepin'. So it's a "he loves her and she loves him at the same time" thing, not just that somepony was there on the rebound.
That's what I get. Go ahead and call me a idiotic flankhole, I deserve it for that previous comment. So Spike did choose Sweetie, and Sweetie did choose Spike. That's cool. Probably means that Rarity can go after FancyPants now ****shudders****unless the newest princess has to have a harem ......
...of course she has to be a few years older for that
3127419 nah no harems... that and I won't lie I never thought about to many other ships other than these 2 in this fic.
3127419 It's no trouble, I was just pointing it out, that's all. I would misread some things myself if I were tired too.
While the text itself could use some editing for spelling and grammar, I found the underlying story quite good. Uncommon but fun ship, interesting premise, and enjoyable characterizations.
3120417
I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'd guess, though, that it's a combination of needing some editing (many people have a low tolerance for typos and grammatical issues, and stop reading with a downvote after a few) and the very real danger of Sweetie Belle and especially Spike becoming a Possession Sue. The former is easy to fix, and the latter isn't necessarily a problem yet, just something to keep an eye on. (Some of the Harmony Dragon background comes dangerously close, for instance.)
Indeed; still a great ratio, and a strong show of interest. Certainly better than having 0 downvotes but only a handful of upvotes and views.
3134664 You know as you mention that I realized something about the whole fic. Its gonna have more sweetie than spike THOUGH maybe I can add some more.
I can't wait for the next chapter
MORE NOW!!!!!!!
Please continue this!
3367991 plan on it. I have been so busy at work that I haven't had much time. On a side note I get vacation time next week meaning I should be able to get one or two updates.... or I will try.
If people are downvoting because of grammar, let me help. (keep in mind this is probably my first time proofreading)
"Flabbergasted" F should be lowercase
"your" *you're (the first your in the next error)
“Um big sis if your mad that I used some of your fabric without asking I did use the cheap stuff you always have stuck in that big bin. Though if you really wanted me to I could maybe make something from the Scraps you were going to throw away.” If you are going to have this statement It may go smoother if the same sentence wasn't said via thought bubble 2 sentences earlier.
"No upset was a bit of an understatement. She was a bit furious" a bit furious still seems to be a bit of an understatement. I'd recommend instead of "a bit furious", "beside herself." or even just "downright furious."
"She was a bit furious and yet even though she was she couldn't direct ALL of the rage purely at her sister... That didn't stop her from trying though." the 2nd "was" should be deleted and the"..." should be a period
cont
3388325 But I digress, Its not about the cloak. NO! Its how you stole my PRINCE! HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE!!!” *It's for both of them
"She had not heard the part about Spike being royalty and as such couldn't understand what Rarity was so mad at her for." one too many spaces between and and as.
"As far as she knew there wasn't anyone Rarity was seeing and she had made it clear last night that Spikes crush was plenty one sided. *Spike's
You knew spike liked me but you just had to show up and steal him from me.” Rarity hissed at her sister. spike should be capitalized
“He very well could have had a chance with me If he would have just tried a bit harder" If should be lowercase
"Rarity opened her mouth to speak to deliver the final verbal slap right as Sweetie Spoke." the "to speak" is unnecessary, it could be removed
“Your right he could have been yours he could have gone back to you." Another *you're (the first one) and there should be a period after yours as it's a run on sentence
"He finally saw your true colors and its not the pretty white princess wannabe that you project yourself to be.” *It's
"Rarities eyes went to pinpricks." *Rarity's
tb concluded
3388348 “Of coarse big sis." *course
"Even if the entire world turned against you your still my sister and I will always stay by your side... as long as spike can be there to?” *you're (the first one) Spike should be capitalized *too
“I would be honored to have spike be by your side as long as you stay by mine.” spike should be capital
In addition there are several places that really need commas and I mean a lot. I love this story, but yeah, could use some spelling check. The main problem seems to be punctuation errors though.
spike x sweetie forever
This story is so awesome I just wish there was more!
it keeps coming back to the fact i jusgt never get around to going more into this story... I need someone to annoy me every day untill i do get back on it.
I need to see more of this story it's so good
I really hope the next chapter will be up soon I want to see what happens next since the two princesses have arrived.
3477399
You need someone to annoy you to do it. Fine.
GET TO IT!!!
message 1/?
3505269 thanks.
3477399
And here's no. 2
GET THE BUCKING LEAD OUT AND GET ON IT!
Tommorow morning i will try and pushfor anouther chapter.
This is deffinelty an interesting story dude. Hope you get to finish it quickly
this needs to be edited
MOAR!!!!!!!!!
3477399 Then get to work on this story or I will hunt you down.
3525141
He said annoy him every day. You've been shirking your duty for two and a half weeks now.
Tsk, tsk.
...
I regret nothing.