(written by Rose Thorn, original story by Cutie Pie) My life was perfect, my life was happy, my life was heaven...until it all went straight to hell.
(written by Rose Thorn, original story by Cutie Pie) My life was perfect, my life was happy, my life was heaven...until it all went straight to hell.
Whoa, wall of text alert! You need to use paragraphs. No two characters are supposed to speak in the same paragraph. Also, it seems a little rushed.