Prologue
"Doctor, what's going on?!" Jack asked nervously as he was flung to the floor of the TARDIS. They were crashing, that much was clear. The Doctor frantically pulled levers and pushed buttons trying to steady the TARDIS. Jack pulled himself off the floor and clung to the railing. "Why are we crashing?" He asked.
"I haven't the slightest!" The Doctor said, "The vortex appeared out of nowhere. I haven't got a clue where we're going to end up!"
"That doesn't change the fact that we're crashing!" Jack yelled. The Time Lord looked up from the control panel.
"What? Oh! Yes!" He pulled a large blue lever and the TARDIS steadied, making it's familiar landing sound. There was a bright flash of light and Jack found himself on the floor again.
"Oh my head..." He mumbled, rubbing his head. He tried to stand, but found himself rather unsteady. He fell back to the floor and noticed for the first time something horrifying. He had hooves. He stood on four legs, desperately trying to keep his composure. "Doctor?" He called out. "Doctor where are you?" He didn't see the Doctor. He did see a horse-like animal staring at him curiously. It had brown fur, and a dark brown, spiky mane and tail. It almost reminded Jack of... No, it couldn't be! Could it? It was staring at him, it's eyes wide.
"Jack?" The animal said, sounding suspiciously like...
"Doctor?" Jack asked uncertainly. The creature smiled hugely and began to laugh.
"Jack! We're ponies!" He laughed. "I mean, this is impossible, you don't just change species. But still, brilliant! Positively brilliant!"
"Doctor," Jack said, a small smile appearing on his face.
"What?"
"You have an hourglass on your butt." The Doctor looked at his flank, eying the mark curiously.
"Yes... Yes I do. Take a look at your own flank Jack." Jack looked at his flank and found a heart, with the symbols for male and female on it. 'Figures,' Jack thought to himself while rolling his eyes. But that wasn't the only thing Jack found.
"Whoa." He murmured as he stretched out the dark blue wings. "I've got wings!" He laughed. "That is just... So cool!"
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This is a picture of Jack in pony form, http://lissy-strata.deviantart.com/art/My-Little-Harkness-265105937 I take no credit for the drawing. A comment on said drawing is actually what inspired this story
hmmmm....need to make them a little longer but good work
Subsequent chapters need to be much, much longer. As there isn't much to go on in this chapter, I can't give a proper analysis or critiqué, but what I read was pretty good so far. One thing you definitely need to do is to slow down your pacing. The events of this chapter could have been more effective if they were stretched out over a word count maybe two or three times the length of this chapter. Not much happens, so there isn't all too much to draw your audience in, and it's all over in a minute or two.
Still, I sense a little more skill in your writing than a lot of stuff I've read. Don't take what I've said to heart. Take it as criticism so you can work out where to improve.
95002
Don't worry, I plan for the actual chapters to be much longer. This was just over 300 words, and most chapters will be in the thousands. I just wanted to set up what was going on, it'll get better.
94812
Thanks! And as I said, they will get longer.
Well, I'm intrigued at the very least. I'll track this and see where it goes.
Nicely done. It does need to be quite longer, chap!
96068
Silly Derp, you're the third person to say that.
Anywho, chapter one should be up tomorrow night. But no promises.
Hey guys, I really want to get chapter one up tonight, but it's still only about 800 words. If I get the chance to sit down and type for a while tonight I will. So sorry, but I was busy all weekend.
Please don't take any offense to this, but in your description you say his name is Doctor Who, but his name is just the Doctor. Doctor Who is actually a question. When people say Doctor who? He just says "No just the Doctor" Sorry just a little whovian annoyance. I'm so, so sorry.
Well, I'm glad to see this story hasn't been abandoned, any particular reason for the sudden edits?
I have to agree on the requests for longer chapters, but otherwise it's going well so far. Because suddenly, Jack.
wow jack has wings not much of a surprise as he always was a fairy
Jack Harkness in equestria...It's about dang time. (he's probably going to end up flirting with Rarity at somepoint, isn't he?)
1613391
2256828 Jack's gonna end up flirting with EVERYPONY at some point... its one of the things that makes him such a good character.
2427773
Yeah, that's definitely a big part of his natural charm.
2427773 don't facehoof you know its true
This seems abandoned, is it? I hope it's not, I haven't read/seen many DW crossovers with Jack in them. Also, if you have writers block, edit and post what you have. Suggestions from other people might help.
104082 172 weeks and 2 days later
I like it and would read if got updated