Blueprints
Beyond all uncertainty and confusion, one thing could be said with the utmost confidence: Artemis’s plans had not gone how he wanted. If anything, things had gone as horrible as possible. To the young genius, the addition of the intelligent centaur to the world of ponies could only mean more confusion, which would in turn hinder his ability to reach to his goal.
Of all the sudden turns of events that had taken place in the last few days, the fairies posed the single greatest problem. And yet, as he mulled each of the fairies’ attributes over in his head, plans began to form that could just as easily lead to success as death.
As he continued to feign his unconsciousness, he listened in as Commander Root and Captain Short tried to reach their technologically-versed friend. Each failed attempt to open a communication link elicited a curse from the commander, while the captain focused more or less on the seemingly-unconscious boy.
Artemis felt a slight tingle run through his body, comfortable warmth spreading from where Holly had placed her hand on his chest. Though he despised the direct physical contact from a creature that could kill him at any second, he decided it in his best interest to play along with her assumptions. He needed to get to work, but the knowledge he could gain from simply acting unhealthy could be potentially more valuable than any he could ascertain through thoughts.
The commander clicked a button on the earpiece of his helmet and called for the umpteenth time, “Foaly, do you read me?”
This time, with little hesitation, the centaur’s voice broke through the silence with a slight crackle, “O’ course I do, Commander. Just had a little fall is all.” The fairies let out sighs of relief, if only for a split second.
“Yeah, we noticed. Made quite a noise. So how’s your little box still working?” the commander retorted, adopting an unenthused tone.
I would think it obvious, Julius: residual energy. Whatever brought his box to us didn’t completely disconnect it from our world… Perhaps…
“Not sure, but I’m glad it is. It looks like they’re sending in the cavalry, if you’ll forgive the horse pun.” The metallic banging in the background became obvious, justifying the use of the pun.
Holly called louder than necessary, “Are you able to contact the officers back home?” Her breath was shallow, assumedly from having unnecessarily attempted to heal the human.
The centaur sighed almost expectantly, “Haven’t tried, honestly. I’m a bit more curious about these little pony things.” What followed was only too predictable.
“Get to work, Foaly! That’s an order!” Julius’s voice exploded into the mike, causing a decent bit of feedback to ring out in the small building they were in. His face adopted a deep red color, the commander being overly serious.
From the other end of the link, Foaly chuckled, “I’ll get right on it, sir.” Silence with the exception of keyboard clacking and metallic banging followed, the techy getting to work immediately despite his humorous attitude.
Good, Foaly. Work as fast as you can. I’m certain your efforts are in vain, but there is always the slight chance I might be wrong. If your workstation still has power, then that surely means you are still connected to our world. In fact, that black box may be our only chance for returning…
While the boy’s brain ran through countless possibilities, the centaur ran test after test attempting to connect to the LEP officers still on Earth. When at last he realized that his attempts were wasted, Foaly groaned, “No go, Commander. We’re deaf and blind.”
“D’Arvit!” came the expected response. It seemed to be the commander’s favorite word as of late. “We can’t contact Haven, the Mud Boy’s out cold, and his device is dead!”
Wrong on all accounts, I’m afraid.
With a tone resembling that of dread, Foaly responded, “Dead? You mean like a battery?”
Holly groaned, “Yeah, a plutonium battery. Unless they have that stuff here, we’re pretty much chucked.” Artemis could almost feel the angry glare being carved into his entire being.
“Well, that sucks. What about the other Mud Men? You said there were four in the manor, right?”
The commander scoffed, “Yeah, except only three of ‘em flew in with us. The fourth’s safe and sound in that time stop.” He turned his head to face the unconscious human. “Artemis collapsed just after your crash, and the other two are out doing gods know what.”
I would hardly declare my mother ‘safe,’ Commander. I still haven’t been able to work out why she wasn’t pulled in with us, but I’m certain that it is the secret to getting us home. But could Mother truly hold the key in her delirious state?
Artemis felt the same tingling warmth from earlier before Holly sighed, “It’s no use; I can’t heal him.” It almost sounded like genuine regret, had her annoyance not surfaced at the last second.
I would certainly hope not, Captain Short. It is quite difficult to heal a healthy human. Though, depending upon one’s point of view, ‘healthy’ is a very subjective term at this time. I wonder if Butler has done what I requested yet…
…
An hour prior, in the aftermath of the centaur’s arrival to Equestria, Artemis had collapsed. The voice that had been surging through his head finally faded, and with it went his consciousness. Twilight wasted no time in taking him to bed in her library home, leaving Butler and the others to discuss their following actions.
“I’m telling you we can probably help the Mud Boy, though it’s not on the top of my to-do list…” Captain Short seemed determined to at least attempt to heal the human, considering he most likely held their only chance of returning home.
“Do you honestly expect me to trust you with the young Master’s wellbeing?” Butler was adamant about being the only one to go back inside and look after his charge, naturally.
“Let’s not forget that both helmets are still inside!” Even Mulch was more than a little concerned about the boy’s wellbeing, considering everything that was riding on his device’s repair.
Their pony host was busy scribbling on a large piece of parchment, absorbed in whatever was being written more so than the argument erupting around her. A small group of citizens had gathered to stare awkwardly at the weird bipedal creatures and their outbursts.
“The helmets, Mud Man, we need the helmets!” Commander Root all but growled; his face flushed red with a vein pulsing on his forehead.
The large human sent a daring glare toward the desperate fairy and muttered, “I’ll bring them to you, then. No one else is entering this house.”
“I’d listen to him if I were you!” Juliet chimed in, not even considering questioning her brother’s orders. “It’s probably the best deal you’ll get.”
Captain Short scoffed, “We could knock you both out in an instant, you know.”
“Yeah, if you had weapons!” Mulch laughed, enjoying himself almost too much. Was he concerned about Artemis? Sure. Was he about to say it flat out? Nah.
“Not helping, Diggums!” Root growled, getting even angrier.
The dwarf opened his mouth to give an insubordinate retort, but his chance was stolen by a pained shout from within the tree house. Instinctively, without concern of being followed, the bodyguard threw open the door. There on the small bed Twilight had made for him on the lower floor, Artemis writhed in pain, sweat pouring from his head.
When Holly attempted to walk closer to him, he roared, “No! Not you! Butler!” He pressed a hand hard against his temple, the pain apparently growing more intense.
The fairy and the human locked eyes for a moment, distrust shining from the former. The collapse had been real, though this delirium seemed almost too convenient for the guard’s sake. Captain Short thought long and hard before surrendering to the ill boy’s request. Leaving without a word, the door closed hard behind her. Butler and Artemis were alone in the building, a guard and his charge.
Almost instantly, the boy’s muscles relaxed, as did his breathing. Taking only a moment to admire his suddenly-developed acting skills, he chuckled, “That should do for now, my friend.”
Releasing a breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding, Butler groaned, “I should have guessed you were faking it. The real Artemis wouldn’t dare act so human.” A slight grin graced his features, until he remembered that the collapsing had been real.
Before he could voice his concerns, Artemis explained, “I did indeed collapse, and for what reasons I do not know. That isn’t important at the moment, however. No, we have bigger fish to fry, if you’ll forgive my metaphor.”
“No.”
“Excuse me?” the charge cocked an eyebrow, disbelief and confusion taking over. He’d never been so adamantly opposed by his bodyguard before.
“I said no, Artemis. Not this time. You passed out, and I’m afraid we won’t be doing much of anything until I know why.”
Artemis sighed, “Don’t be ridiculous, Butler! My health is hardly anything to be concerned about, not when my device is out of control. No, I’m afraid that the entrance of the centaur is probably just what we needed…”
“Stop. Slow down and explain yourself for once. This isn’t the time for games. Whether you choose to admit it, you are playing a losing game of chance.”
Scanning his bodyguard’s features and seeing the genuine concern sent a shiver down the boy’s spine. For the first time in most likely forever, he’d actually been brought to a point in which an explanation was more than due.
“Very well, my friend, an explanation you shall have.” Sitting up slowly and taking a drink from a small cup of water Twilight had left for him, he began. “I am sick, of that there can be no doubt. My head has been twisted the last few days, culminating in my collapse earlier. Though I fear for my health, it is the least of my concerns.”
Butler took an extraordinarily small seat at his charge’s side, struggling to keep it from breaking under his weight. “I’ve noticed changes in your personality and overall attitude. You haven’t been yourself… But, then again, none of us have.”
With a smug smile, Artemis replied, “You are correct.” After another gulp, he continued, “I would argue that even the fairies are different, and that they’ve noticed the changes. I can even assume that it’s this world’s radiance that’s clouding our normal behaviors. After all, it all began with Fluttershy’s arrival to our manor…”
“You were abnormally violent during that exchange, and I was most unprofessional, bickering with Juliet and all.”
“Yes, so it would seem. But, despite how quickly we broke from our normal demeanors, Mother remained unaffected. Granted her mind was already warped from whatever illness had grasped her, it still doesn’t sit right with me.”
“There’s still the case of Miss Angeline not being pulled to Equestria with us.”
“Again, you are right. However, I do have a theory. In one of the tomes Twilight allowed me to borrow, there were several references to a chaotic demon named Discord. According to the passages, he reveled in the mental manipulation and torture of the citizens of Equestria, but was put to rest by the Elements of Harmony. Do you follow me so far?”
It was at this point the boy threw the covers off and rummaged through a small bag of books he’d left in the library the prior evening—before his device’s malfunction. From it he pulled the worn-out An Abridged History of Equestria and carelessly threw it open to the pages in question. A fresh sheet of notebook paper, covered from top to bottom with handwritten notes, fell onto the small bedside table.
Scanning it over for keywords, Butler sighed, “You truly believe in this ‘God of Chaos?’”
“If I am to accept that this world’s magic is real, and that I have found a way to cross dimensions, then why shouldn’t I believe in this Discord creature?” Taking the notes from his guard and setting them back in the book, he explained, “It wasn’t my first train of thought, naturally. When I first read about it, I simply ignored it. But then my thoughts began to nag me, telling me something was amiss. If this Discord enjoyed playing with peoples’ minds, then what was to stop him from doing so to us?”
“Except that, according to the book, he was sealed in stone by the Elements.”
“Exactly!” Artemis cheered, a sudden excitement filling his nerves. “But sealed away doesn’t necessarily equate to death. If he is sealed, then his magic surely still exists, somewhere, even if only in residual pockets. And, if that is the case, then perhaps his magic is what’s been twisting our thoughts.”
Butler frowned, “It truly isn’t like you to speculate…”
Artemis chuckled, “It isn’t just speculation, my friend.” Pulling a small leaf of paper from his pocket, he placed it directly into his guard’s hand.
“Arrivederci?” the bodyguard read with uncertainty.
“Arrivederci indeed. That’s my handwriting, the very pen I took those notes with. Now, answer me this, Butler: why would I write that if it was never meant for someone else’s eyes?”
Pondering this for a moment, Butler grunted, “I don’t know.”
“Neither do I, unless, of course, it was meant for me to see it. If, at the moment, I hadn’t been in control, then I wouldn’t know what it was meant to be. Get it?”
“Are you telling me that Discord’s magic caused you to write this?”
“No. I’m telling you that Discord himself made me write it. Even while on the other side, in my lab, he influenced me. It’s the only explanation.” With a smug grin, he retrieved the paper and placed it back in his pocket.
Butler openly scoffed at his charge, “You truly have gone crazy! This is impossible, even by our standards. Perhaps you need some more rest…”
The boy tittered, “I thought you would say something like that. So, as we speak, Twilight Sparkle is writing to her dear sweet Princess Celestia about my theories. It should only be another day before I know for certain whether I’m insane.” Climbing back in bed and wrapping up with covers, he explained, “The fairies cannot know I’m healthy. Neither can Juliet. While we wait for confirmation, I need you to do some research.”
“Research? For what, this ridiculous theory of yours?”
“Not quite. I need you to research the fields where we woke up, tell me if you feel anything out of the ordinary. My device landed us there, so perhaps there is residual energy.”
“And what of the fairies? What if they follow me?”
“They won’t. They’ll be in here, attempting to heal me and fix their other helmet.”
Butler groaned, “You sound confident.”
“And you,” Artemis chuckled, “seem talkative.”
Butler suddenly realized that, just as Artemis had been irrational and Juliet had been ditzy, he had himself become more open to questioning his charge. Because he was normally closed off and obedient except in select situations, the brute shuttered at the thought of having changed so severely.
“I’ll do as you ask, Artemis. I’ll examine the field, and I’ll wait for your unlikely confirmation. I’ll even let the fairies do as they desire. But, if you are right, and this demon is the root of our complications, what will we do then?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead, old friend. In fact, I’m placing my eggs in one basket as it is. Any further assumptions would simply be imbecilic.”
Butler stood up, careful not to knock anything over. He sighed disappointedly, “I hope that, as bizarre as this situation has become, you can find a way to fix this. Was your gold worth this trouble?” For the first time, true disapproval broke through his tone.
And that disapproval stung its recipient harder than he expected. It stung hard enough that the genius with enough smugness to fill up an ocean couldn’t even reply. So, in silence, the boy adopted his ill demeanor and curled up in the bed, readying for the fairies’ arrivals. Butler’s step was heavy and hard, and his exit was even more so…
…
Communications with Foaly had been reestablished, and a disappointing conversation had ensued, involving broken communications and the awakening of the human genius. Logical deductions had been made leading to the conclusion that Equestria’s magic was a form of radioactivity, thus explaining indefinitely the dampening of the fairies’ magic powers. And, to top it all off, everyone had gotten a taste of Princess Celestia’s voice before being so rudely disconnected from the call.
“He cut us off!” Commander Root roared at no one in particular. “How dare he cut his superior officer off!”
“Calm down, Commander…” Captain Short mumbled, equally confused.
Artemis chuckled, “It only makes sense, really. A potentially seven-way conversation would be confusing by any standards, let alone through radio communications that this world doesn’t even have.” Picking up the still-busted LEPrecon helmet from the far table and examining it, he added, “I certainly wish I was in his position…”
The commander growled, “And what exactly does that mean, Mud Boy?”
“At least he mustn’t put up with your incessant shouting or Mr. Diggums’ pungent odor. Not to mention he is meeting with the ruler of Equestria personally.” He opened a small hatch on the back of the fried helmet and glanced toward Twilight. “I trust you told her everything I instructed?”
“Mh-hmm!” the unicorn nodded enthusiastically, stepping slowly toward the human. “I told her to keep an eye on his statue, and that your friend would be visiting her.”
Holly snapped to attention, distrusting of such a cryptic exchange. “Excuse me? Did I miss something?”
“Good.” Artemis handed the helmet to the pony, allowing her to wrap it in her telekinetic magic. “I hope for Foaly’s sake that she trusts you as much as you think she does.”
“Of course she does! I’m her star pupil!” A burst of purple energy shot directly into the open hatch, the piece of equipment coming to life with an electric hum.
Leaping to his feet in shock, Julius roared, “What did she just do?! Is it working again?!”
“Never mind that! What do you mean ‘for Foaly’s sake’?” Holly interjected, suddenly even more concerned.
Artemis chuckled, “I regret to inform you that your technological companion will be serving as a guinea pig in a theory that I have. I also regret to inform you that your equipment runs off the so-called harmful radiation that you were so concerned about, and that a dose of magical radiation got the juices flowing again.” Taking a second to jot his thoughts onto a piece of parchment, he added, “The fact that it works again confirms Foaly’s hypothesis about the radiation.”
“Hah! Only here for a fraction of the time you were, and he’s figuring things out faster than you could dream about!” With only a little bit of petty ego, the commander cheered for the centaur’s prowess.
“Keep in mind he did have tools, commander.”
“Enough about the magic! What do you mean he’s a guinea pig?” Holly was quickly growing hostile, advancing toward the human with fire in her eyes.
Mulch chimed in, “So that’s why I didn’t get sunburnt? It’s magical instead of UV radiation?”
“Exactly, Mr. Diggums,” Artemis nodded. “You needn’t worry about him, Captain Short. The worst case scenario is that he gets possessed by a demon.” The nonchalance in his voice only fueled the rage in the fairy’s gut.
“And what’s the best case, death?”
“The best case, if you choose to believe me, is that we get to go home.”
She stopped dead in her tracks, her anger slowly draining in favor of curiosity. Even Root took a step back to clear his head. “Do go on,” he snapped.
The boy chuckled, “It’s quite simple, commander. If Foaly gets possessed, then my theories will prove correct, and all of our problems will be solved by the Elements of Harmony. If he doesn’t, then his black box is our key to reactivating my device and returning us home. Unless, heaven forbid, I’m entirely wrong in my assumptions.” With a smug grin, he plucked his device from his pocket and pushed the activation button.
Everyone flinched instantly, the effects of the busted machine being almost limitless. All they received for their reactions was a small golden spark that shattered a mirror on the far side of the room. The mirror in turn sent a wave of golden energy back at its attacker, which consumed it similarly to a black hole. The device shut down immediately after, its internal workings falling silent.
“Fascinating…” Artemis mused, considering the impossibility of what he’d just witnessed.
Twilight was the first to regain her composure, asking, “What’s fascinating? The broken mirror? The spark?”
The boy scoffed, “It’s not quite so simple, dear Twilight. No, it seems that whatever has been warping our minds is doing much more than that…” Placing the device safely back into his pocket, he examined his face in the now-shattered mirror.
“Well? Are you going to explain?” Holly snapped.
“My device shouldn’t have done this. It isn’t meant to release energy, except in concentrated areas. That bolt was foreign in origin…” Noticing the bags under his eyes and the paleness of his skin, he added, “Perhaps whatever is warping our minds is warping my device.”
Mulch chuckled, “Warping our minds, huh? Sounds about right! No wonder Julius hasn’t popped a vein yet!”
“You’ve felt it,” Artemis snapped. “Your generosity in returning Butler’s weapons and the officers’ equipment is a sign of that. You’ve been very vicious, Captain, more so than any trained officer should be. And you, Commander,” he retrieved the helmet from Twilight and tossed it to the officer, “are significantly less wrapped up in protocol than an officer of your rank should be…”
Captain Short had no intention of just letting the Mud Boy pass judgment. “How could you possibly know that? You didn’t even know we existed before today! Who are you to say how we normally act?”
“A man of observational skills, Captain. Even in this bizarre situation, I rely on my ability to think critically. My entire plan for getting my gold and us going home relies on my accuracy.”
It hit everyone like a ton of bricks. It hit him the hardest. He’d said it, and he couldn’t un-say it. The cards were on the table, if the players could read their values, and there was nothing he could do. His poker face cracked a smile, and he’d counted the cards wrong.
“What gold?” Mulch asked, almost as excited as he was curious.
Twilight trotted forward, looking the human right in the eyes. “Yeah, what gold? I thought this was a diplomatic accident?”
Artemis was spared the discomfort of answering by a loud banging on the door to the house. Without waiting for a response, Juliet burst through the door gasping for breath, her face flushed red. Her eyes reflected pure horror, a small cut across her cheek signaling danger. One of her eyes looked pale, a faint golden color crowning the iris.
“I-It’s Butler! Something just shot him! He’s gone nuts!”
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Artemis, I never thought I'd say this to you,
But YOU DONE BUCKED UP!
3944802
Apparently, Discord´s influence has put a Villain Ball on him.
Poor Arty. Next time, he will be building doomsday machines with big, red buttons of self destruction.
Hoh, boy, things are getting interesting now!
3298295 im adding this to my read latter list but want to know do I need to have read any other the other ones in the series?(as I have only read the first 2) plz and thank you
3945249 If you've read the first one, then you know the canon of this story (to a small extent, as things begin to get wacky and twisted after a few chapters).
So no, you don't need to have read the others.
3945257 ok thank very much for the speedy reply
WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS!
Good idea! Now I have to read it
Oh my god.
Am I dreaming?
This story actually exists.
img.gawkerassets.com/img/19c35oidyf35igif/original.gif
HAHAHAHHA READING TIMEH
I like guns.
3945605 GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TABLES I SET UP FOR THE INTERNATIONAL PSYCHOPATHS CONVENTION THAT I NEED TO REPLACE WITH BOOTHS!?
OMG Artemis Fowl x MLP
there goes my weekend 
3947177 Ah, an issue that was addressed in this most recent chapter. By the characters themselves.
Trust me, everything that's happened, in- or out-of-character, all have meaning and logical backing as the tale progresses.
....Not to be a scrooge...but this story is kind of boring. It lacks what usually makes an Artemis Fowl story an Artemis Fowl story, and what makes MLP, MLP by combining them together. It's also quite a fair bit cliché. It's kind of pointless to read further because I know how this is going to end, as you've pretty much already said it yourself, and as evidenced by the style of writing prevalent for most of the story. The only real reason to continue this story is for the random bits of 'What the hell just happened?' to clarify, like Butler being shot. This was certainly written well enough, it's just boring.
I could thumb it up and favorite, but I don't really want to waste time to find something I already know. I could also downvote, but that would be entirely irrational, and the writing is good enough that I don't want to indulge my irrational hate upon it. (I'm saving that for stories that have no redemption.) It's tricky to figure out what to do with this, and I think it best to leave it alone until it has that 'completed' mark, and I can finally add it to favorites so other people can view it in my mighty fortress of books. I just don't want to be bothered by chapter updates. It's a fair bit like the Artemis Fowl books in how it reads, I'm just not intrigued by rereading the same story.
Enjoy the fact that this was a fine way to waste time, and celebrate your featured status... Now drown in misery because it's Valentines day, and you still won't get chocolate from another person.
Toodles, IkioStar
3948246 I understand your disinterest in the tale, and I will admit that it has been dull throughout most of the development of the plot. I thank you, however, for not simply thumbing down and casting this from your memory, as most people who don't like potentially-good tales normally do.
You had the decency to tell me you weren't interested, and that alone gives you reason enough to downvote. Thank you for giving it a chance, at the very least.
Oh, and joke's on you! I did get chocolate from another person!
3949457 Damn. Now I'm jealous...I got no chocolate...Curses!
Artemis. You just don goofed.
~ Super-Brony12
WHY?!!??!?!!?!?
Why did you cancel the story? I was really looking forward to this
4042731 WHAT?! When did this happen?!