Ponies Versus Starcraft

by ambion

Luna vs DTs

Luna acted upon her full royal prerogative to frolic. She skipped along, her hooves barely touching the ground and her head swinging back and forth, and all the while she sang a wordless ditty of delight.

Of course, she skipped lightly because of the lower gravity, and her voice had no words because there was no atmosphere to carry them.

For Luna was on a moon. Not necessarily her most familiar moon, but another one much the same.

To the pair of hidden figures watching her from some ways away, she was an enigma wrapped in a mystery, for they hadn’t met an alicorn before. Sufficed to say, alicorns chortle in the face of physical impossibilities.

Well, one saw an enigma wrapped in a mystery of quite possibly abominable impossibility. The other saw a dancing blue pony, smiled, and started to match her dancing little wiggle. This one got a cuff upside the head and a quiet, hissed reminder to focus.

“I don’t get it, brother. What is this thing? What is it doing? Why is it so...happy? Brother? Brother?”

The cleverer dark templar - or at least, the one who thought himself cleverer (the other did not think about it at all) - looked about wildly, his tattered robes whirling around him. He spotted his counterpart skipping along the rocks in the thing’s wake, rapidly catching it up. With a pit of ill-patience souring his... well, Brotoss didn’t have stomachs because they’re photosynthetic (odd but true)...souring his something.

Cursing under his breath, he activated his single short warp blade, which flickered into existence with a hungry cackle of eldritch energies. He was a rather sour personality anyway, so it was a familiar feeling.

Whereas his brother...his brother couldn’t be sour if he was soaked in lemon juice for a fortnight.

“Oh Hai!” the bouncing dark templar shouted jubilantly to Luna. She turned about, and screamed.

Now, bear with me, but we’re pausing this regaling right here for a moment. It must be made clear that while the first dark templar was fastidiously dressed befitting a warrior of darkness, his brother was a simple creature quite easily enraptured by pop culture trends...no matter how silly they were. For Luna, this meant a dual-ended warp scythe wielding stack of bone clad warrior appeared from nowhere behind her.

Nobody likes a dual-ended warp scythe wielding stack of bone clad warrior appearing behind them beaming a wide smile.

On with the story.

Luna’s screaming ended as abruptly as the decked out templar’s crying began.

“Look what you did!” an angry voice echoed inside her head (No air, remember? And Brotoss don’t speak with vocal chords anway) A shadowy figure patted the bigger one on the back, who swivelled and slowly quieted.

Meanwhile, Luna stared at the ludicrous weapon. Ahem - While the scythe is not pre eminent amongst the weapons of war, anyone has been on the wrong side of, say, a peasants’ revolt will know that in the right hands it is fearsome.

Now, such a weapon said two things to Luna. Either this guy had no skill whatsoever and would hurt himself at the first possible chance for an accident, or - and this was supported by still having all his limbs attached - he was very, very proficient with it.

Some of the bones, she noticed, had rainbows and butterflies and happy faces painted on them. For reasons she couldn’t put to words (not counting that, with no atmosphere, she really couldn’t have anyway) they only strengthened her opinion.

Trusting to kindness, she approached the duo.

“I’m sorry I snuck up on you,” the warrior sniffled dutifully.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you you,” she said, because let’s face it. If she wants to talk, physical laws aren’t really going to present a challenge.

“Can we be friends?” the mighty warrior said with piteous adorability. Luna smiled, and this made for an instant reaction. “Yay! Friend hugs!”

The other templar was too slow leaping away as strong blue hooves pulled him into the group hug.

“No! No hugs! Never hugsssss...” and his voice trailed off, somehow into the distance.

Luna opened her eyes to find herself embracing a mass of red and black energies, which, precisely twelve (in-game) seconds later, coalesced enough to reveal a face.

We just had to hug, didn’t we? Yay! Friends! Aauuugh. The new voice said, switching between euphoric and sarcastic tones.

“I’m...sorry?” Luna said, quite confused by all this.

Yay! You should be. Every few seconds, the dark archon seemed to flip flop personality.

You have no idea what this is like - We made a new friend! Luna frowned like a right grump.

“Oh yeah?” she said, and was consumed in a torrent of black fire, becoming darker, and taller.

Both voices of the Dark Archon went wide eyed, in true harmony, if only for a moment, whereas the alicorn’s went to draconic slits.

“We think we have a pretty good inkling of the notion,” Nightmare Moon said.

Comments

[ambion]

Seriously now - don't take this chapter seriously
...
...
okay, let me rephrase that.
Take this chapter even less seriously than you'd take the others. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png

[Edragon]

Ahhh the dark archon. How I miss using thee to take control of enemy workers.

[ambion]

1487519

"The good standard 32 minute expand into another race."

[Edragon]

1487560
They never see it coming. Incoming Protoss...wait no...Incoming Terra....no...Incoming...everything?!

[ambion]

1487572

Wait a minute...

...
is that...harmony?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_ooh.png

[Edragon]

1487616
As close as you can get to it...without gene-splicing them all together...
th00.deviantart.net/fs71/300W/i/2010/269/c/7/hybrid_destroyer_by_upsidedownbattleship-d2zjx3w.jpg
Imagine that with a cap, cigar, and a really foul vocabulary.

[ambion]

1487650

Enter The Hybrid...

[Edragon]

1487684
Now I wonder, what would win. An army of hybrids, or 3 armies, 1 of each race...

Edit: 100th comment

[ambion]

1487698

This may well be a future mission in an SC2 expansion, you realize?

[Edragon]

1487708
Of course, but with Blizzard logic, the 3 races uniting will of course beat the big bad. I'm wondering if it would actually play like that.

[ambion]

1487730

I'll be honest - I preffered the story crafting seen in SC1 and Brood War a great deal more than SC2.

There was always those missions where you felt you were quite possibly doing the wrong thing entirely, or were missing some important detail, but couldn't place your finger on it...

You don't get that in SC2. The missions, I feel, are all too bent towards showcasing all the different units, and the Raiders are, it can't be denied, ever outmanouvered or caught out once. In SC1 - especially - Brood War, everybody took a beating here and there.

And don't get me started on Tassadar being alive with some kind of faux-Shakespeare vocabulary going on
undermines his sacrifice entirely, methinks. (him being alive, his being alive, I mean.)

And the Tal'Darim? That felt so throughly that Blizz was like "Oh...we need enemy Protoss...but aren't Protoss pratically good guys? Er,,,...how about a bunch of psycho cultist space drug addicts? Perfect!" (I am not making this up - look up their lore.)

All the same, I'm keen on Hots as much as ever. Hope the zerg don't get reduced to misanthropic misunderstood antiheroic fungus-bug-race though, or Kerrigan into a mere dark action girl - she used to be waay, WAAY better than that.

--rant over, have a nice day.--

[Quantum_Shift]

1487650
Actually, they already utilize human DNA.
It;s mentioned in the side-level in Brood War, by Samir Duran to Zeratul, that the hybrids lacked something, until human was added in on a whim, and it acted as a stabilizing agent.

[ambion]

1487798

Samir Duran. Doctor Narud. Duran. Narud. duraN. naruD.

And WHAT foundation would have the resources and knowhow to "seed the hybrid on many worlds?" *cough cough* MOEBIUS.

You're mind. It is blown.

Time will prove if I'm right.

[Quantum_Shift]

1487809
Already guessed it, but I think so too.
I need to play Heart of the Swarm to find out more, and then Legacy of the Void has been confirmed at Blizzard (I have my sources)

Along with a possible SC3... Return from the Shadows.
It apparently will likely feature the Xel'Naga as a race in campaign.

My friend hates me, because he only told me that much and said he knows more but won't tell me.

[Edragon]

1487793
I remember SC1 and those missions, where it seemed like the 'victory' was just 'not losing everything.'

the Raiders are, it can't be denied, ever outmanouvered or caught out once.

I think you meant never, and I agree on that. Seemed like Raynor literally had a plan for everything. Never really felt the pressure of overwhelming odds, well not including the last level on the higher difficulties but that was more of a "can I beat the level" not "can Raynor pulls this off".

I actually like what they did with Tassadar, the merging of the two Protoss energies to elevate him to a new level of existence. He's not dead, but he's not really 'alive' either...sort of a reward for his sacrifice. Omniscience and everlasting existence. (though some people likely see the second part as a curse).

The Tal'Darim...yeah that was silly but I can see how it works. Overzealous zealots of zealotry and zeal; protecting the relics that they really have no claim nor understanding to.

1487798
Oh yeah...man it's been ages since I saw that ending. Well ok then!...still they lack the hats...

[Quantum_Shift]

1487862
That they do, but only because they didn't inherit our dapper style.
Ditto goes for the Monocles they're missing.

[ambion]

1487650
i46.tinypic.com/198plk.jpg

"Obligatory Foul Language, you ing of ."

[Edragon]

1488041
You...you just...oh you just made my day.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Colgate_beam.png

[Destructorspace]

1487809
It's been proven, at least based on what the Starcraft wiki's page on Narud says. Man, reading both his and Duran's pages, there're so many "Oh Mah Gawd it makes so much sense!" moments.

[RedvsBlue327]

Hmm, so the brotoss have been observing Equestria so far back to Luna's banishment? Prehaps they are the "stars" that aid in her escape?
=====
Unrelated: I've always wondered what happened to 'you' from the original starcraft games.

[ambion]

1490750

the 'you' that commands the forces?

I actually know this one

The original Terran magistrate runs with Raynor (May actually be Matt Horner - don't know)
The original Zerg player cerebrate is the same that is played in brood war
The orginal Protoss executor is confirmed to be Artanis.

The BW Protoss player may be Selendis (I don't know for certain)
The BW Terran dude dies with the rest of the UED
The BW cerebrate eventually withers and dies from lack of Overmind.after Kerrigan's ascension.

[Morphile]

1487793, I have to say that Tassadar is stuck in the corpse of the Overmind(really "just" a brain-dead/soulless husk, but still)He is basically a ghost stuck to the body of who they killed

Also, Ulraj is even more insane then that Dark Archon He has 20-50 voices to deal with

[Joural]

1487560

The best part was that, because the game was silly once upon a time, you had separate pop markers for each.

... which meant it was entirely possible to have a 400 pop army on the move in the late game. Protoss was weird in brood war.

[Midnight Loki]

3663723 With enough races you could have 600 population.